#& i swear ive had other stuff going on lately

[smiff-spike]

i tell my sister, Smiff-Spike Danger

[vivalasthedas]

i hope when veilguard comes out people will like... let people dissect it and be critical and very 'the curtains were blue symbolized xyz' and not get shitty about that way of engaging with things you enjoy and claiming that any negative opinion is 'fandom drama'.

like for sure if you don't like talking about that shit, great, don't engage, leave it alone. But the amount of times you'll be having a perfectly fun talk about biowares Unfortunate Implications because of their constant statement of real world parallels and inspirations and their handling of shit in game and how that unintended outcome effects their intended story or something and someone comes along and like fandom high horses about how it's not that deep let people enjoy things why are you being so negative whine whine bitch bitch about it is wild.

Let people engage with fandom however they enjoy. For some that will be Big Think. It will be analyzing shit, no matter their skill level at doing so, and digging into it. If that's not it for you, that's awesome! I'm sure most people like both at different times, different moods, different media properties. Sometimes you want to get in the fandom place and go 'i bet this blorbo would cry if their tamagotchi died' and other times you want to talk about the accidental 'colonialism is good' narrative in the scifi movie you just watched or how xyz thing is part of a larger character motif about 123.

Respect whatever the fuck fandom means to other people, and just don't engage with shit you don't want to. Either direction. Don't go on posts of people being silly goofy and happy and be a jag, don't go on posts being negative or critical about something and get mad about people being negative. Grow up. Move on. None of it matters.

[im-sleepdeprived]

Can you write something about co-workers to friends to lovers?

fix you up

pairing: peter parker x reader

a/n: i won’t lie to y’all idk how i feel abt this one. its cute dgmw but i hope you guys like it !!! ive had this request for an EMBARRASSINGLY long time, anon if you’re upset, i totally understand

warnings: mentions of injuries, burns, rude customers, bandaging some wounds n stuff, fluff and pining !!! (disclaimer: I’ve never been a barista so forgive me if this is a lil off)

masterlist, requests are open !!

Working in a rustic-vintage-corner-campus-cafe was definitely not how you saw your college years going. Your teen self would’ve killed to work at a place like this but when you grew up, you realized just how different the workload is between a high school student and a uni one such as yourself. 

You weren’t complaining of course. The pay was adequate, your manager was a simple old lady who never had much to say other than making sure all the equipment was clean, you got along with your coworkers pretty well for the most part and the customers were tolerable. 

But every once in a while, you’d get an entitled shithead who seemed to make it their life’s mission to ruin someone else’s day. And the problem with working a social job such as you did, is that you were an easy target. 

It started off as a fairly simple day, you clocked in and put on your apron ready to start your shift for the day. You preferred late morning shifts, leaving afternoons for classes (and the rouge 8am lecture every now and then) and nights for going out or studying. 

“Oh, Y/N! Thank god you're here,” Your co-worker, Vanessa, exclaimed.

Vanessa was a few years older than you. She actually wasn’t a student, she’d given college a try and it wasn’t her thing. Apparently, all it did was “try to undermine unstoppable greatness.” She was chatty, but you actually liked that about her. She could keep up a conversation with a statue. When you first started off here she’d been the one to show you the ropes and ever since then, you’d had a specific bond with her that you couldn’t really put a name to.

You gave her a small smile, “Yeah well, I do prefer to show up when promised. Especially when my paycheck depends on it,” you let out a small laugh.

“Yes! See, that's what I love about you,” she made a disgusted face, “Unlike Peter. Honestly, I don't understand how he hasn’t been fired yet! He shows up at least half an hour late to every shift yet Miss Hannigan still keeps him around.”

“Oh,” you stuttered, raising your hands a little in defense, “I didn't mean it as a jab at Peter, I swear.”

She tossed a curled blonde lock of hair over her shoulders while waving her other hand in dismissal, “Honey, don’t worry about it. I know you would never, you’re far too sweet for that. But I wouldn’t blame you if you did, you know, having to work more than half your shift alone? I swear if Bernard did that to me,” she made a big show of gesturing to herself, "I would not deal with it.”

While what she was saying wasn’t necessarily wrong, it didn’t feel right talking about Peter like that. Sure, he was late most of the time, leaving you to do most of the work while you waited for him to show up (somehow when he started working you two got the same shift together and it’s just been that way ever since) and while you, also, normally wouldn’t put up with this, there was something different about Peter. You never felt like he was taking advantage of you, and purposefully made you pick up extra slack. It was quite the opposite actually, he always apologized profusely and never slacked when he was on the clock. He always seemed so rushed and out of breath, you were pretty sure the poor boy just needed to learn how to manage time better. Plus, he always took it upon himself to unpack the orders because of all the heavy lifting required (you couldn’t tell just by looking at him, with all the sweaters he wore, but man was he ripped.)

“He’s actually really sweet.” You’re not sure why exactly you’re so keen on defending Peter. You two barely spoke, outside of work of course, and you don’t know much about him. But something inside you didn’t like anyone assuming anything bad about him. 

“Yea, well, he’d be a ton sweeter if he clocked in on time,” she laughed as she untied her apron, getting ready to leave. You faked a laugh as well, not wanting the conversation to progress any further. 

“Alrighty, well,” she heaved a breath, “I'm off, have a good rest of your day Y/N.”

You smiled once again and sent a wave her way before settling down in front of the register. It was slow today, not many people in the shop. A fellow student you only recognized from work sat in a corner booth with their headphones locked in and was working on what seemed to be some kind of essay. 

There was an older woman, however, looking incredibly irritated at the table closest to you. You’d never seen her before but that wasn’t too strange. It was a near-campus cafe, after all, lots of people passing through. She looked to be typing on her phone until, suddenly, she shut it off and made direct eye contact with you. 

If looks could kill, you would’ve dropped dead behind the counter, which wouldn’t be all that ideal considering you couldn’t remember the last time anyone mopped that side of the store. 

She stood up and walked towards you and you already dreaded the conversation to come.

“I have an order,” she spit out, as if she were disgusted to even be talking to you at the moment. 

No greeting or anything, wow. Someone wasn’t raised right. 

Nonetheless, you put on your well-rehearsed customer service smile and gave in. “Sure, I’d be happy to help with that. Can you just give me the order?”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I shouldn’t have to, I called in and placed it and it should be ready by now. I'm going to be late!”

You froze for a moment, not quite sure what to do, “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience ma’am, but I just got here and I haven’t heard anything,” you glance at the little whiteboard kept on the counter for these exact situations only to find it empty, “and I don’t see anything here about a phone-placed order. Are you sure you have the right store?”

Her face was so red and steam was practically blowing out of her ears, “Of course, I have the right store! Do you think I'm stupid or something?”

“No! Of course not, I'm so sorry,” you start to blabber off, not wanting to make her any angrier than she already was, “I’ll get things ready for you right away ma’am.”

You turned around and tried to make yourself not freak out as badly as you wanted to. It was so humiliating getting yelled at like this in public! And yeah, maybe if you had such a problem with unpleasant interactions like this, you shouldn't have taken a social job such as this one, but honestly, you thought people would have enough manners not to act up like this. Apparently not. 

It slipped your mind for a moment because of how scrambled you got when the lady flipped her lid, but Vanessa has been known to do this, forget to write down orders and leave you to fend for yourself (quite literally since your coworker was never really around) and you’re pretty sure that’s what happened here. Other customers were usually more understanding than this woman bordering on Kathy-Bates-movie-character-insanity over a drink order. 

You reached into your back pocket, deciding you’d try to send her a hurried text about any phone calls she might remember. That just seemed to anger your customer more.

“Excuse me?! I'm sitting here waiting for my order and you're too busy chatting away on your phone?”

You lose yourself for a moment and you can’t feel your face anymore. 

“I am so sorry ma’am,” you repeat, which seems to be your mantra since you started working today, “I was just checking to see if-,”

“I don't care what you were checking, or what you need to see! Give me what I paid for,” her hand started smacking against the counter loud enough for the only other person in the store to look up, broken from their reverie. They merely shot you an apologetic look before getting back to their work, leaving you to fend for yourself.

“You have terrible customer service, honestly. I come here every Tuesday with my book club, but never again. If I don’t get exactly what I asked for in the next five minutes, I'm calling your boss and not leaving until I'm sure you’re fired.” 

You shake your head, “There’s no need to do that ma’am, I'll get everything ready for you.”

You turned around once again, this time, heading towards the cappuccino machine. You’re not sure why you said that considering you have no clue what ‘everything’ is that has to get ready. 

In all honesty, there’s a low chance that a suburban-white-soccer-mom type would have any real effect on your employment. Miss Hannigan would surely not fire you just because some order forgot to be written down and some customer got pissed. Right?

But you really didn’t want to find out. 

So, you started up the machine and turned to grab a cup. Today, apparently, was just doomed from the start. As you turned to grab one of the cups placed on the shelf over the machine, your hand hit the button that turned on the steam wand. Which was aimed directly at your other hand. 

You bit down the yelp that threatened to escape and jumped back, the back of your hand now searing with pain. Instinctively, your other hand came to cup your injured one, which only made it worse. You fought back tears as you moved to turn the steam back off. 

Inhaling deeply, you took a moment to try to get your mind working again. “Hello?!” Of course. You turned your head and gave her the fakest smile you’ve ever mustered in your whole life. “One minute ma’am.”

You could hear her going off about how she doesn’t have a minute to spare, but you ignored her, trying to think of what the hell you could give her to just get her out of your face. You’d have to guess her order since I wasn’t actually taken. You’d started playing a game with yourself since you worked here, guessing people's drink orders, and you’d say you’ve gotten pretty good. 

You peeked a look back at her. You’d had customers around her age come in before and order, for the most part, the same thing. A plain cappuccino. Seemed like a safe bet.

Swallowing down the pain as best you could, you approached the machine again. This time, taking out the portafilter. It must’ve not been put in correctly because it clattered to the ground, coffee grinds falling around the floor. 

You wanted to cry. Your hand hurt like hell, there was a new mess to deal with, and that lady hadn’t stopped complaining since you stepped in. 

Frozen, you began to panic a little, breaths coming out sporadically. You’d leave the sweeping for later, but you had to clean the filter so you could use it because it was the only one. And the slightest brush of air made your hand burn even more. You had no clue how to go about this. Maybe if you-

Like an angel, Peter rushed in through the side door. Tying his apron around his waist, he looked towards you. Your hand flew up to your mouth at his perfect timing and you saw his expression grow more concerned. 

He rushed towards you. “What happened?” And for a second, you forget everything that was stressing you out just a few moments before. He grabbed your hand so gently, you forgot every ounce of pain. 

“I cannot believe this!” She wasn’t giving up and you shut your eyes in frustration, turning to reply to her again. But before you can open your mouth, Peter steps in. “Hold on, can’t you clearly see she’s hurt?”

She scoffed and crossed her arms, “That’s her fault. If she knew how to do her job, it wouldn’t have happened.”

You could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. His expression hardened and his mouth opened to shoot something back at her, but this time, you cut him off. You placed your non-injured hand on his shoulder and gave him a look. 

He stared at you for a few seconds before finally giving in, blowing out some air in a frustrated huff. “Go wait for me inside,” he told you, nodding his head toward the employees-only backroom. 

“What?” You asked confused. You didn’t wanna leave him alone. 

“You’re not working right now, there’s no way I’m letting you. I’ll deal with her. Go, I’ll be right there,” he said, shoving you away gently.

Once you heard that he’d be following you, you were more willing. You walked through the door and took a seat at the table usually used for meal breaks. The ‘break room’ was a small room positioned in the back of the store. You can’t remember what this place used to be (a diner maybe?) but this specific room was used as an office, but Miss Hannigan claimed she had no use for an office so it was used for employee breaks. 

Every ounce of you was grateful for Peter’s Superman moment back there. He came in today earlier than usual and he’d totally saved your ass. You were going to make sure to tell him. 

You weren’t waiting long before the door opened again and Peter walked in, holding a backpack you hadn’t seen on him before. In his other hand, he held a drink. He placed the drink on the table before he grabbed one of the chairs, bringing it close to yours, and you turned your body to face him. 

He picked up your hand again, just as gently as before. “Alright,” he let out a breath of relief, “it’s not as bad as I thought, but, it’s still gonna take a while to heal. Wait,” he leaned over, unzipping his bag and taking supplies out while you just stared at him.

“I thought you majored in biochemistry.” You blurted out. Your face heated up a little when he looked at you curiously.

“I- I saw your textbooks once when you left your bag open. And I’ve seen you around campus, near the science-y buildings��and stuff.” You shrugged and he chuckled. 

“I do,” he nodded, “any medical stuff is self-taught. I get into a lot of…accidents.”

“Oh.” You nodded at him. What kind of accidents would he get into? You’d never seen him hurt, but what did you know. 

“I take it you don’t major in anything science-y,” he said, grinning at you.

You shook your head, “No, I don’t. But I have a chemistry class I have to take for credit. Which makes no sense because chemistry has nothing to do with what I want to learn.”

He laughed and set his bag back down, everything he needed was now laid out on the table. “Okay,” he picked up a white tube with red lettering on it. “This is gonna help with pain and scarring. I’m going to spread some of this, then wrap it up for you.” You looked at the table and saw he’d also taken out some white gauze. What kind of ‘accidents’ did he get into?

You nodded, at a complete loss for words. You had no idea Peter knew so much about injuries and you were so thankful he was helping you out. You didn’t hate each other, but you weren’t close either.

He applied a small amount to the back of your hand, asking you constantly if you were okay as he rubbed it on softly. Honestly, even if it did hurt, you wouldn’t have the heart to tell him.

He finished up with the cream and moved onto the gauze, expertly wrapping it up to lightly cover your wound. When he was finished with that, he carefully tied it off, making sure not to tie it too tight.

“There,” he leaned back and smiled at you, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “All fixed up.”

 “Thank you, Peter, really.” You reluctantly pulled your hand back into your lap, missing the warmth of his fingers wrapped around it.

“You don’t need to thank me Y/N, it’s the least I could do. I’m just glad I got here earlier than usual.”

You nodded and looked down. “Well thanks anyway, you saved my ass back there. Seriously, I have no idea what’s wrong with me today but I kept fucking everything up.”

“Hey,” he said softly, making you look up and meet his gaze. “You didn’t fuck anything up. Okay? You made a few mistakes, but that's not your fault. She shouldn’t have been treating you like that, especially when you’d hurt yourself.” He looked away and scoffed as he remembered the terrible customer that had ruined your morning. You would’ve felt extremely touched by his care if it weren’t for his next words.

“All that for a plain fucking cappuccino.” He mumbled.

“A plain cappuccino? Really?” You asked excitedly, forgetting about everything, and grinning at him wildly. 

“Um, yeah…why?” He asked you, confusion was written all over his face, but he couldn’t help his own smile slightly growing when he noticed your enthusiasm.

“Nothing,” you shook your head quickly, smile never fading, “I just…well, I play this game with myself where I guess people's drink orders. And I think I’m getting pretty good because that’s exactly what I was going to make her before you walked in.”

He laughed out loud and you joined in. “What’s my order?” He asked. 

You paused for a moment. “A caramel macchiato with extra caramel.”

He looked at you for a bit, “Close,” he admitted. “It used to be.”

“So are you gonna tell me what it is now?”

Shaking his head, he leaned over the table and dragged the drink he’d brought in earlier in front of you. “Here,” he changed the subject, “I made you this.”

You’d completely forgotten about it, and when you took a closer look, you realized it was your coffee order. 

Your mouth fell open, “How’d you know?”

He just shrugged, smiling slightly. He knew it was your favorite, but the confirmation was still nice. “I've seen you make it for yourself. Educated guess.”

“Oh my god,” you said, voice soft. It was a simple thing really, you��had one most days at the end of your shift. But the fact that he’d noticed… It just meant a lot. “Thank you so much, Peter.”

He just waved you off, his smile growing when he noticed your reaction to the drink. He couldn’t believe he got a chance to speak to you. Truly speak to you. He was always too awkward or embarrassed or trying to avoid embarrassment. But now, while he didn’t like the circumstances that led you both here, he was actually talking to you. And it was nice.

“So,” he started, not wanting this to end just yet, “you said you’ve got a chemistry class?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, picking up your drink and taking a sip. “The one with Professor Hall. I actually have a class after this shift. I totally suck though, and he hates me. I just don’t get it, and he doesn’t explain it well!”

Peter nodded, completely understanding what you meant. It was a tough subject to begin with, and he knew not everyone was as into science as he was, add onto that a teacher who doesn’t really teach, it’s a recipe for disaster. 

“I actually had that class. Last year. I can help you, sometimes. If you’d like me to, that is!” He rushed out. Great, he thought, now I’m getting awkward. 

You looked up at him, eyes wide. “Really? Do you mean that?”

“Of course. I think I’ve still got my notes too, if you want ‘em.” He shrugged nonchalantly as if he wasn’t saving your ass again. 

“Oh my god Peter,” you placed your non-injured hand on his knee, not noticing the way his body stiffened and he gulped. “That would help so much. There’s a huge exam coming up, and it's a huge part of my grade so I have to pass. I started cramming earlier but—”

“I’ll help,” he reassured you, “I enjoy science anyway, so it’ll be fun for me.”

“Thank you,” you repeated. Staring at him so close, you realized you’d never noticed how handsome he was. Sure there were times you thought he was cute, from afar, but now…you could see the different shades of brown in his eyes, the way one of his eyebrows was slightly curlier than the other, unwilling to sit straight. You couldn’t help but stare-

“Oh my god,” you repeated, except this time, you had remembered something. “If we’re both in here, who’s outside?”

“What? Oh, um,” he scratched the back of his neck, still reeling from having you so close to him. “Freddy’s out there?”

“Freddy?” You asked confused. 

He nodded. “The guy writing on his laptop, he’s friends with my roommate, throws the craziest parties. He’s chill, I told him to keep an eye out if someone else walks in. But it’s been slow, so I think we’re good.”

“Oh, okay.” You said, standing up. “We should probably still go though.”

He stood up beside you, frowning. “I don’t think you should work with your hand hurt. I don’t want you accidentally making it worse.”

Your heart warmed at his concern. “That's really sweet Peter, but I’ll be fine. I don’t know what happened before, I never do stuff like that, even accidentally.”

He still didn’t look convinced. “Why don’t you just go home? I can take it for today.”

You shook your head quickly, “I’m not leaving. I have a class later and it would just be a waste of time going back and forth anyway.”

You walked towards the door, opened it, and exited before he had a chance to argue anymore. You stepped behind the counter while Peter rushed out behind you. You watched Freddy give him a thumbs up and Peter nodded at him before he followed right after you. 

“Are you sure you should go to class today? I can walk you home so you can take the day off,” he offered, and he looked so genuine you almost accepted. 

“Peter,” you laughed and he decided no matter what your response was, it wouldn’t matter because hearing you say his name like that was enough. “I’ll be fine, I didn’t break both my legs, it's just a small burn.”

He stared at you for a bit as you smiled at him, trying to get him to ease up. “Fine,” he gave in reluctantly. “But no going towards the cappuccino machine,” he waved a finger at you, “or the ovens. Or anything hot!”

“Fine,” you shot back, grinning wide and he couldn’t help but return it.

The rest of the morning had gone by easily and you thought maybe you didn’t have totally shit luck. Peter was way more fun than you ever thought he’d be and you wondered why you didn’t start talking to each other sooner. 

It used to be silently working together but after those few moments in the break room, you guys were laughing your whole shift. He meant what he said, and he kept you away from anything that produced heat (which you told him was an insane boundary to set in a cafe) so you had extra time to make quips here and there.

You started playing your order-guessing game with him, teaching him certain traits that gave someone away:

“Side part, beanie, and a crossbody? Oh, he’s getting a tall, dark, americano for sure.”

“She’s getting tea. No coffee, just tea. Maybe with a little lemon wedge.”

And he started to get the hang of it. 

“She looks like she drinks matchas right?” He said to you when a girl around your age walked in. He’d been right and you both laughed about it afterwards. 

When your work shift ended, you were actually upset. 

“I’ve got a class to get to,” you told him, lifting your bag onto your shoulder. You’d both cleaned up and gotten yourselves ready, now standing in front of the door. Something in you didn’t want to leave just yet, enjoying your time together far too much to end it so soon. 

“Yeah…” he trailed off, you waited for him to continue but he hesitated. 

“What is it?” You crossed your arms and smiled slightly, shifting your weight onto your other foot. He brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck, “I just…well, I was just wondering—if it's okay with you of course!” He rushed out, quickly bringing his hands up. “That I could walk you to class?”

You laughed, “I’d love that Pete, thank you.” You turned to open the door to let you both out but he quickly moved forward, holding it open for you and motioning for you to move forward. 

Looking back at him, you smiled and noticed his cheeks were a little red. How had you never noticed how adorable he was?

The walk back to campus wasn’t long but you learned a lot. He told you where he went to high school, his friends he still kept in touch with, his Aunt May, some funny moments from parties he’d been forced to attend by his roommate, and you laughed together.

You told him about the book you were currently reading, your life back home and your family, and why you chose to go to this college. He went along with your jokes, which made it all the more better for you. “I mean if you think about it,” you'd said, “it is so much easier to romanticize your life  when your school campus is as pretty as this one, and that’s real motivation!”

The conversation flowed naturally between you two and it felt like you’d been friends for ages. He dropped you off outside of your class building with the promise of picking you up afterward so you two could study together. 

“So I’ll be back here in an hour right,” he asked. 

“Right,” you smiled at him. “And thanks again Pete, for everything.” You held up your bandaged hand, shaking it a little before setting it back down. 

He shook his head quickly, “Don’t thank me for that. Really.”

You stared at him with a warm expression. “Bye Peter,” you waved as you turned to walk into your class.

“Bye Y/N,” he returned. He watched you walk through the doors, shooting him one last smile before you disappeared from view, before blowing out a breath of air. 

He’d finally gotten a chance to talk to the girl he’d been crushing on for months, and he got to walk her to class! And they were meeting up afterward. After working so close to you and never having the guts to initiate a conversation, he’d settled for just admiring you from afar. But after today, there was nothing that could keep him away. 

You were not having a good day. 

You’d just found out that your chemistry exam was being bumped up to two days from now. Even with the early studying you’d done before, there was no way you could catch up with everything that fast. You were so overwhelmed you had completely forgotten Peter was waiting for you outside. 

You walked out, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth, and you practically jumped out of your skin when someone placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said, his voice soft yet full of concern. Peter. “It's just me. What happened?”

The second he saw you walk out, he could tell something was off. He could literally sense the anxiety rolling off of you in waves. He had waited for you to look up and stop when you saw him, but you were just about to walk past him before he stopped you. Now, you were looking at him with distress coating every feature on your face. Your brows were pinched, your lip red from biting it, and your eyes wide and distant like you couldn’t even see him and he was standing right in front of you. Something had gone wrong and he wanted nothing more than to fix it. 

“What is it? What’s wrong? He asked frantically. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered, hands flying up to the sides of your head and gripping your hair. You weren’t looking at him anymore, “Oh my god.”

“Ok Y/N,” he said nervously, “you’re starting to scare me.”

“Two days Peter!” You looked at him wildly. “Two days! I can’t go over everything in two days, is he fucking insane? I didn’t even know he could do something like that, I mean, can he do something like that? I feel like that shouldn’t be allowed it should—”

You cut yourself off and started pacing back and forth in front of him. “Oh my god, I’m gonna bomb this. And if I fail, it’ll bring my whole grade down! I can’t afford that I—”

“Hey,” he repeated, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder again. “I said I’m gonna help you, and I meant it. So we’re gonna get through this together, even if we have to stay up all night.”

You stared at him, trying to wonder what you’d done in your life to deserve such an angel. 

You shook your head quickly, “I really appreciate that Peter, but I’m serious. There’s no way I can learn everything I need to know that fast.”

You tried to smile at him but it didn’t reach your eyes. 

He grinned, his expression the total opposite of yours. “Well, you’ve clearly never studied with me, so don’t sound too sure yet.”

Another thing you’d come to realize was just how smart Peter was. 

You really should’ve known when he told you he’d taken that advanced chemistry class a year ago. And passed. 

Looking through his notes, you could see his attention to detail. He really wasn’t a slacker in the classroom because everything was clearly laid out here. 

You’d spent that night going over everything and you’d actually started to feel hopeful about it. Peter was a way better teacher than Professor Hall, and it didn’t hurt that he was so cute. He was understanding with everything and was willing to go over any part for as long as it took for you to fully grasp it. 

At the end of the night, he’d undone the wrappings around your hand, reapplied the cream for you, and wrapped it up again.

“It’s doing okay,” he reassured you. “Like I said, it’s gonna take a while, but if it starts hurting or anything, take some medicine. Then find me.”

You were sure you’d just melted into his hands at that moment.

The next day, you couldn’t wait to get through everything and see him again, even if you were going to be talking about chemistry. 

You weren’t scheduled to work at the cafe today, so you’d only get to meet up after both of your classes. 

Lectures were a blur, nothing really catching your attention and you spent most of the time with your phone tucked in your hand texting back and forth with Peter, barely concealing your laughter when he sent you memes. 

It was like that all day, until, finally, you made your way over to his small apartment he shared with one of his friends. 

its very quaint 🤌

(totally NOT what we say to make ourselves feel better about this shoebox)

He’d told you over text, making you laugh out loud as you made your way over there. 

dw🫡 I was one of those kids who used to live in their play tents and hid in random corners and spaces

im totally ready for this

ok but be warned, we do not have a pet!!! they are not allowed per our lease!!! ignore the cat when you come in!!! tell no one!!!

what cat ??

good girl ;)

Your face flushed as you made your way up the steps to his door. You knocked three times and barely had to wait a second before Peter stood before you, holding the door open. 

“Hi,” he said, smiling at you. 

“Hi,” you grinned back. You heard a small ‘meow’ come from behind him and he quickly held up a finger to his lips. You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh as you nodded at him. 

“Come on in,” he said, stepping out of the way to lead you through the door. You stepped in and kicked off your shoes before looking around. It was plain, but that was to be expected really. 

There was a large poster hanging next to their TV, however, that caught your eye. “Big fan?” You asked him, shoving your thumb in the direction of the Star Wars poster. 

He shrugged nonchalantly, “Kind of.”

“Oh. Well, I was just asking because I love those movies. My little brother used to watch them and I got really into it.”

“Oh. I mean—I don’t know what I was saying before I love them too.” He rushed out, making you giggle.

He stayed staring at you for a bit, his eyes rounding out and his mouth gaping a little bit. 

You gave him a small smile, “Okay, well we should-” You let out a small yelp, hands flying to your mouth as you jumped back. 

The living room was small. The only things occupying it were the TV mounted to the wall, and in front of it, was a sofa. And on the sofa, was an unconscious body that you hadn’t noticed until it let out a low groan. You really weren’t sure how you missed it, there wasn’t much else to look at, but they had just been so still. 

Heart beating erratically, you turned towards Peter again, who was looking at you with all the amusement in the world written all over his face. “Was he always there,” you whispered, eyes wide.

He opened his arms, “Well, angel, I really don’t know. Did you see anyone come in?”

“Oh shut up,” you grumbled. “He looks familiar…is that..”

“Freddy.” He finished for you. Right. The dude from the cafe. 

“He crashes here sometimes.” He added.

You nodded. “Alright.”

“Shall we?” He opened a door beside him and looked at you. 

“Right. Yeah, of course.” You walked past him and into his room. You stopped after you entered, taking a moment to look around. His room was simple, with just his bed, a desk and chair, and a dresser perched next to another door you assumed was his closet. 

What really caught your attention, however, were the photos scattered all over the walls. The room was practically engulfed in Peter Parker’s memories, and you really liked it. Without thinking, you approached one wall, walking through them and taking each one in. 

There were some with large groups of people, those looked like school trips. Most of the photos were of the same two people, and based on what he’d told you, you assumed those were his friends. Ned and MJ. 

A lot of the photos contained an older woman, who looked stunning. That had to be his Aunt May. You were shocked by how many photos he had with the Tony Stark. He’d told you he had an internship at Stark Industries, but really, you sorta thought he just went on coffee runs all day. 

And then, you saw a couple shots of Spider-Man. It wasn’t unusual, you knew a lot of people snapped photos of the masked hero when they spotted him around the city. What was unusual, was the quality of the photos. You didn’t know if you’d ever seen such clear photos of him, even on the news, as he was always swinging and in motion. In these, Peter seemed to have caught him at just the right time. You wondered how long it took him to capture the photos.

“Big fan?” You smirked over at him from your spot by one of the Spider-Man photos as you repeated your words from earlier. 

Peter leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, content with watching go over the details of his life. He felt a little naked, like he was bared out in front of you. But…it felt good too. He liked knowing you were learning new things about him, and curious to know more. It filled him with an anxious sort of giddiness.

“You first,” he said slyly.

Laughing, you said, “Well, I don’t see how anyone can hate on the guy. He literally runs around saving lives”

He laughed as he approached you, standing by your side. You’d be surprised. “True I guess.”

“We should get to studying,” you said, breezing past him, your hand brushing his bicep as you did. He sucked in a breath, his entire body feeling electrocuted after that one touch. He wondered how you seemed so normal, laying out your books and papers on the floor beside his bed. 

This was gonna be a long night. 

He cleared his throat and moved to sit across from you, hoping he didn’t look as flushed as he felt. 

After a few moments of him watching you get settled, you heard him start laughing. Looking up you asked, “What’s so funny?”

That only made him laugh harder. “Just thinking about how scared you got before. Did you really not see him?”

You felt your face go hot. “I didn’t! I had no clue he was there, and next thing I know he’s making lawn mower nosies!”

Peter was red in the face now. “The way you flew back,” he said between fits of laughter, “I thought you’d give yourself whiplash.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled at him, picking up one of your pens and throwing it at him. It bounced off without him even flinching. 

You looked down, avoiding his gaze by busying yourself with your papers. 

“Okay I’m ready to be serious now,” he said. The laughter was gone but amusement twinkled in his voice. 

“Great! Welcome back Pete, now hand me that pen, I’m gonna need it.”

Two hours later, you were both sprawled across the floor tossing Chess-Its at one another. 

“Come on!” You threw your arms up in defeat when you threw another cracker at him just for him to catch it again. 

Peter chuckled, “Sorry angel, I’ve just got killer reflexes.”

“Alright whatever,” You rolled your eyes. “Come on, throw some at me.”

You opened your mouth, ready to finally win one round of this nonsense…just for a Cheez-It to hit your cheek and fall to the ground with the rest of your tries. 

Peter laughed while you sat up, reached to grab the box of crackers, and poured some into your hand before putting it back down. 

“Okay, I’m done. I actually want to eat them now.” You said, munching on a cracker and sitting against the side of his bed. 

“Oh come on, don’t be a quitter Y/N/N,” he grinned, leaning over and pinching your cheek. 

You swatted his hand away with your empty one. “M’not.”

He smiled at you before sitting up. “Hit me,” he said, opening his mouth and pointing at it. 

You grabbed a Cheez-It from the palm of your hand and made a big show of trying to get your aim right. Squinting one eye, you stared at him, moving your hand back and forth before tossing it slightly more to the right. On purpose. 

That didn’t stop him from leaning over and catching it in his mouth. 

“I don’t like this game,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“Don’t act like I don’t know what you did,” he said back, munching on his Cheez-it. 

“Sue me,” you told him, brushing him off with a wave of your hand. 

He laughed before he settled down. “How’s your hand feeling by the way.” His voice was considerably softer now, making you smile softly at him. 

“It’s doing great, thank you again, Peter. I would’ve been totally fucked if it weren’t for you,” you told him honestly. 

He shook his head, “Don’t thank me at all Y/N. Hate seeing you hurt,” he mumbled, less to you and more to himself and he stayed staring at your wrapped-up hand. 

“Well don’t worry about that, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

“Yeah?” He looked at you suddenly, like he needed to know you meant it. 

“Yeah,” you nodded at him. 

“That’s good,” he breathed out and your heart squeezed at how much he seemed to care. 

“What's your plan? Y’know, for after school?” You didn’t want to leave just yet, even with your studying done. And you wanted to know more about him. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t taken a certain liking to him lately. 

“Well after I get my degree, I’m going move up a little further in Stark Industries. I’m still undecided on grad school, I think I’ve got everything I need and I’m probably just gonna start saving up to pay off student loans instead of adding on them.”

You nodded at him, “So the Stark internship is going well? No offense, I sort of thought you were their coffee mule.” You grinned at him before popping a Cheez-It in your mouth. 

He scoffed, “No, I’m not. I mean, it did take a while to get them to take me seriously, but I got there!”

You laughed, “Well, very proud of you Pete. That’s super impressive.”

He grinned at you, his face heating up at your words. He wondered if you knew how much it affected him every time you called him Pete. Probably not, but he never wanted you to stop. 

You two stayed like that for another hour or so, time passing by without you noticing at all. You talked about your futures, where you say yourselves after school, and after that. Your admiration for him only grew as you got to know him more. You could talk to him all night and never get bored honestly, you-

Shit. 

A random notification lit up your phone, which lay beside you on the floor, making you take notice of the time. 

You sat up quickly, spitting out curses as you started gathering your belongings and shoving them into your bag. 

Peter sat up as well, helping you get your things together but in a calmer manner than yourself. 

“Relax Y/N,” he said in a soothing voice. 

“Pete I can’t do it.” You turned to him suddenly, dropping everything in your hands. 

“Do what, angel?”

“The exam is tomorrow. I’m not ready! I’m gonna fail, and that one grade, that one stupid grade, is gonna hold me back and ruin everything-”

“Sweetheart look at me,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. His grip was warm and reassuring. “You are not going to fail. And I know this because I’ve spent the last few hours studying with you, and I saw how smart you are, and how quick you caught on. You’re gonna walk in there tomorrow and ace that test, I know you are!

“And if for some reason you don’t,” he continued, “you gave it your best. You tried your hardest and you learned something, which is all that matters in the end. So breathe, stop stressing, and let me walk you home.”

“All that talk as an excuse to ask to take me home?” You snorted, “Peter you shouldn’t have.” Despite your jokes, you took his advice and took a deep breath. He was right, you’d studied your hardest, both with and without his help. All you could do was take the exam and hope for the best now.

He laughed and stood up, holding out a hand once he saw you all packed and ready. “Caught me. So is that a yes?”

You took his hand and pulled yourself up but didn’t let go right away. “If I fail, do we have to stop hanging out? Y’know, with you being a science prodigy and all.”

He laughed again and placed both his hands on your shoulder, staring straight into your eyes. “Never.”

“Ok, well, just making sure. I wouldn’t wanna give you a bad rep in the science community or something-”

You were suddenly cut off from your babbling when he pressed his lips to yours. You froze for a second, unsure what to do, but it didn’t take long for you to catch up and kiss him back. 

He pulled away after a few moments, “Done with the jokes?” His voice was soft and teasing.

“Uh huh,” you mumbled, eyes still closed. “But I think you might need to do that again, just to be sure.”

He chuckled murmuring something that sounded like ‘too cute’ but you couldn’t be bothered to hear when you felt his lips on yours again, this time, expecting them. 

You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and canting your head slightly for better access. He groaned, one arm wrapping around your middle, the other settling on your waist.

You might have pictured kissing him before, just maybe. But none of your daydreaming could’ve prepared you for the real thing. The way his bottom lip covered your top one, the soft breaths exchanged between the two of you, the way he pressed himself further into you when you tugged his hair a little harder. This definitely beat all of your daydreams. 

You could’ve stayed that way forever, and you probably would’ve if Peter hadn’t taken one for the team and pulled away first. 

Or tried to, at least. 

“We should-” kiss. 

“You-” kiss. 

“I need to walk,” kiss, “-you home angel.” He murmured against your lips.

“Okay,” you whispered back but you didn’t move to pull away, and he didn’t push you. The two of you stayed stuck, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed, taking in the atmosphere of each other. 

“I should probably go now,” you said softly. Peter hummed in agreement, leaning in to peck your lips gently. 

“It’s getting late,” but your voice is more of a sigh. You don’t know what he’s laced his lips with but each kiss makes you weak in the knees and woozier than the last one.

“God, d’yknow I’ve had the biggest crush on you.” He said, completely disregarding your previous statement. 

That stops you. “What?” You asked him in disbelief. Peter had a crush on you? No way, you would’ve known. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled lightly, “don’t act so shocked. I was always a stuttering mess at work whenever you so much as looked at me.”

True. But you’d just thought he was a bit more on the shy side. 

“I’d seen you around campus before and I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen, and I still do, but I thought I had no shot in hell with you. And when I got the job at the cafe and saw I’d be working with you? I almost lost my fucking mind sweetheart.” You both laughed a little and you couldn’t help the way your cheeks flamed up because of his words. Did he have any clue what he was doing to you right now?

“So I just sorta kept my distance, y’know? Admired you from afar ‘cause I was too scared you’d reject me. Sadly, it only took you nearly burning your hand off,” he gave you a look and you burst into giggles, him doing you and slightly pinching your waist, “for me to get over myself and actually keep up a conversation with you. But now I’ve got you in my room, kissing me.”

“Hmm,” you hummed, “lucky you.” You joked as leaned in to press another kiss to his lips. 

“Lucky me indeed,” he murmured before pulling you in even deeper. He dipped you, making you squeal into the kiss. Then he pulled you up, unable to keep the kiss going any longer with how hard he was grinning.

“Oh my god,” you said, laughing breathlessly. 

“A lot more where that came from,” he smirked at you. 

“You know,” you moved to pick up your bag, “for someone who was so scared to talk to me for so long, you sure found the confidence now.”

“What can I say? You make it easy. Once I started I couldn’t stop.” You smiled at him as he gently placed a hand on your arm leading you to the door. The living room was empty now, no one to be found on the couch or otherwise and you wondered where their cat had wandered off to.

You bent over to put on your shoes, Peter doing the same. He stepped forward and opened the door for you, letting you step out before following you and locking the door. 

As soon as he was done with that, you reached over and grabbed his hand. “Hey Petey?” You said lightly. Oh, he was going to melt. From now on, he only wanted you to call him that.

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you finally decided to talk to me.” 

He leaned down and kissed the top of your head. “Yeah? Me too angel.”

The next morning, you awoke in the brightest mood, considering you had a chemistry exam later that day. All you could think about was Peter. You were going to see him later at the cafe and you couldn’t wait. 

You leaned over in bed to pick up your phone. Speak of the devil. 

GOOD MORNINGGGGG❤️

hope you slept well angel, can’t wait to see you today. and you’re gonna totally ace that exam!🥰

seriously you’re going to kick chemistry’s butt

A huge smile bloomed on your face, almost hurting from how wide it was. Usually, you'd stay in bed for a while, scrolling through Instagram or just going through messages or something. Not today, you couldn’t wait to get to work. Maybe Peter was a good influence on you. 

After getting ready for the day, you made your way to the cafe with a little bounce in your steps. The bell jingled above you as you opened the door and for the first time since you’d started working together, Peter was here before you. 

“Hey,” he smiled, holding up your usual drink order and waving it at you. 

“Hi Pete,” you approached his, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. As you pulled away, you could see how quickly his cheeks pinked, making you grin. 

“No ‘Petey’?”

“Didn’t know you had a preference,” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling it towards you as you took a sip from the drink and then moved to get dressed for your shift. 

“Yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck, wishing he could feel your hand on his for just a little longer, “neither did I.”

You laughed lightly as you tied your apron, the sound hitting him like the greatest melody in the world. 

“Okay then,” you walked towards him, stopping right in front of him, “let’s start over. Hi Petey.”

“Hi angel,” he gave you a dopey grin and you returned it. 

“Great, now that we’ve got that figured out.” You patted his chest lightly before taking the drink from his hands and moving away. 

“Hey wait! Where’s my kiss?” He pouted at you and he looked so adorable, you just wanted to pinch his cheeks and kiss him till he begged you to stop.

“We’re at work, we’ve gotta be professional.” You said matter-of-factly. 

He rolled his eyes, leaned against the counter, and crossed his arms. “Professional my ass, no one is even in here-,”

Before he could even close his mouth, the bell jingled, and in stepped a boy about your age. The boy moved to one of the chairs, not moving to order just yet, giving you the chance to smirk at Peter, who just rolled his eyes again. 

“What do you he’s gonna order,” he asked you.

“Hmm…a cookie, probably.” You moved lean against the counter across from him and took a sip of your drink as you smiled. 

“Hey wait, you never told me what your drink order is.”

“Hmm…” he hummed in consideration before he moved towards you, grabbing your hand with the drink and bringing it up to his lips to steal a sip, maintaining eye contact the whole time. 

“I’ve got to say,” he said in a low voice, “this one has really grown on me.”

You couldn’t look away, all you could do was stare. And stare, and stare, and stare…

A stranger’s voice, and then, “Hey, can I get one of those double chocolate chip cookies?”

You were just on cloud nine today. 

You had taken your exam and for the first time ever in that class, you had felt confident in your work. 

And to top it all off, after you’d handed in your paper and packed your things to leave, Professor Hall had given you a ‘well done’ nod. You! He’d never noticed you positively before. You were going to need to drown Peter in thank-you kisses for his help. 

Speaking of Peter, you couldn’t wait to see him. He told you he’d be waiting for you after your class but when you stepped outside, there was no sign of him. You decided to sit on the building steps and wait. He was probably just running a little late, no biggie. 

Big biggie. After 40 minutes of waiting for him, during which you’d sent him a little text and he hadn’t responded, you decided to head over to his place. 

The walk was short and your little buzz had worn off after not getting to share it with Peter. After all, you kind of owed him most of the credit. You arrived at his apartment door, and when you knocked, it wasn't Peter who answered. 

It's Freddy. 

You throw on a smile. “Hi Freddy, is Peter home?”

He returned your smile as he said, “‘Sup Y/N.” He held out his fist and you stared at it for a while before you got the hint and bumped it with your own. “Pete’s not home right now, but you can totally come in and wait for him.”

You found it funny that someone who didn’t live there was inviting you in to stay, but you accepted anyway. You also had no clue how he knew your name. 

You knew little about Freddy, but you knew he was sort of a campus celebrity. Every raging party there was, everyone knew Freddy was behind it. 

“So,” you said as you walked in, “what year are you in Freddy?”

“Ah nah, I’m done with that shit. I took the bar,” he said casually, waving a hand and moving to sit on the couch. He kicked his feet up on the large Amazon box being used as a coffee table and picked up the open beer sitting atop it. 

You stood in your place, clutching your bag. He was in grad school?

“Oh that’s awesome dude, did you not pass or something.”

“Uh uh,” he shook his head, taking a swig of beer, “got a 350.”

Your eyes widened. What. You didn’t know much about law school but you knew getting a score like that on the bar was not an easy thing. 

“Wait when’d you take it?” You asked confused. The bar exam wasn’t scheduled for a few months from now. 

“Last year.”

“Do you like…work at a firm or something?” It was insane to you that the party animal of this school had already graduated, and with an amazing score nonetheless. 

He shook his head, “Workin' on my music right now, and if that doesn’t work out,” he gave you a wicked grin, “well I’ve always got my law degree.”

You nodded, stunned. “That’s sick dude. Good luck,” you told him, waving as you moved to wait in Peter’s room. 

“Keep the door cracked kids,” he shouted towards you and you huffed a laugh as you entered the room and closed the door (leaving it open just an inch) before you sat at the foot of his bed. 

You looked around for a second, taking it all in. It’s amazing how he managed to take this small space and make it so him. 

After a few moments, you took out your phone to shoot him another text. 

But before you could finish typing it out, the window beside you started opening and you watched as the Spider-Man fell onto the bed, not noticing you gaping right next to him. 

You stayed silent, unsure of what to do or say until he moved to take his mask off. That got you moving and talking. 

“Holy fuck!” You basically shout, moving away, hands flying to your mouth. 

He seemed to be just as shocked as you were because he scrambled up from his lying position. And staring back at you was Peter Parker. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked you, eyes wide. It wasn’t till then that you noticed the paleness of his features, his face lacking that usually healthy glow it held, the waver in his voice, and the hand clutching his bloody side. 

“Holy fuck,” you repeated, voice lower, and for a whole different reason this time. “Shit Peter, you’re hurt.” You moved closer to him, temporarily forgetting everything else as your hand reached to gently remove his so you could take in the extent of his injuries. 

“It’s nothing,” he said but made no move to shove you away or stop you. You moved his hand and winced at the sight that greeted you, “Looks like a whole lot more than nothing babe.”

“I’ve had worse.”

You look up at him, frowning slightly, “Not exactly reassuring Petey.”

“I feel all better now,” he said, shooting you a charming grin as soon as he heard the nickname leave your mouth. “Add a kiss in the mix, and I’ll be good as new.”

You huffed a laugh, shoving his knee slightly, “Shut up Peter. I’m serious. I’m sure you’ve got some experience with stuff like this,” you wave a hand towards his suit and injury for emphasis and he gives you a quick nod. 

“Over there,” he pointed toward his dresser, “top shelf, under the blue sweater.”

You rushed over there, opening the drawer and spotting the sweater he mentioned. “I’m totally stealing that from you someday, this is your heads up,” you told him as you grabbed the large box and completely closed the door before you moved back to his side. 

“You can have anything of mine, Angel. I’m sure you’d look better in it anyway.” His words made you blush, but you tried to ignore them so you could focus on the task at hand. 

Peter, however, found that he really liked watching your cheeks pink up. And he wanted more. 

“Lean against the headboard, now.” You said, trying to be serious again. 

“God, at least buy me dinner first sweetheart.” He gave you the dorkiest smirk you’d ever seen. You just glared at him. “On the other hand,” he said as he moved backward to lean against his headboard, “I don’t need dinner, I’m all yours baby girl.”

This got you to laugh, “Peter, be serious! You’re bleeding out!” You moved to his side, “take this off by the way.” You gestured to his suit. 

He hit the middle emblem of a spider and you watched as it loosened up and fell off his shoulders. You had started pulling it the rest of the way down, gulping when you realized he wasn’t wearing anything else, when he mumbled, “Not a terrible way to go.”

You refused to look up and meet his eyes but he knew he got you. Thank god he was wearing underwear, you realized, and you threw the suit to the side after you’d completely shredded him of it. He was definitely going to need a new one. 

Now completely facing the damage, your stomach churned, and you were hit with the hard truth. “I…I don’t know what to do,” you whispered to him. You wanted to help him, more than anything. This man who’s been risking his life, probably since he was a teenager you realized, as you did the math silently in your head, was hurt and right in front of you, needing your help. And you needed to help him, but you didn’t know the first thing about how to approach a situation like this. You were surprised you could stare at the wound for so long. 

“Don’t worry, I can do it,” he said gently, his bloody hand reaching for the huge first aid kit. 

“No!” You rushed out, grabbing his hand to stop him, “No way am I letting you do that! Just…just tell me what to do and I’ll do it.

Feeling more confident, you grabbed the kit and opened it. Shock coursed you as you realized just how much he went through and your confidence fell right back down where it sprouted from. The bag was full of all the medical tools and supplies you could think of, most of them completely foreign to you, and you realized how privileged you must be to not recognize any of these things. You can’t imagine the ‘worse’ he talked about having earlier. This must be those accidents he was talking about.

“I don’t usually have to use them,” his voice was soft, almost like he was reassuring you, “usually just water and a towel does the trick. Maybe a little numbing cream. And these,” he looked down at his wounds, “some bandages, sure, but I won’t need stitches or anything.”

You let out a breath of relief, you weren’t sure you could’ve handled that. You didn’t trust yourself.

“Okay,” you said, grabbing some wipes. You were going to do this. Based on what he’d told you, he was always stitching himself back up, just to hit the streets again the next day. This time, though, was different. This time you were here to help him, and you weren’t going chicken out of this. Even a little help was better than nothing at all. 

You started slowly, cleaning around his wounds so you could bandage them properly. “You sure you’re okay with this?” He asked you gently. “I totally understand if you need me to do it, angel, it’s a lot if you’re not used to it.”

“No,” you shook your head, your voice steady, “No way. It’s my turn to fix you up.” You told him, looking up to meet his eyes and smiling at him. 

He returned it and you went back to work. 

“So….Spider-Man, huh?” You peeked up quickly in question. 

“Yeah,” he took a deep breath, “it’s a long story. Basically, I was bit by some spider, that shit was powerful,” you laughed a little, making him smile. “And I got some. Of its powers I mean.”

“So you get bit by a spider, that spider gives you powers, and you decide to become a New York vigilante?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he nodded, and you laughed again. 

“You’re a hell of a guy Peter Parker.” You said, shaking your head slightly. 

“Thank you, I try,” he smirked at you and you laughed again. 

“Okay,” you said, pulling away from his side. He almost whined in protest. Honestly, he wasn’t feeling any pain, not since you’d started worrying about him, and insisting you help him. Peter wasn’t used to that, he was always alone when it came to this part of the job. He’d never minded that before, just one of the things he had to deal with as a superhero, but now that someone else was taking care of him…it felt nice. Really nice. Especially when it was you. 

“Peter?” You looked at him questioningly. Shit. You’d asked him something.  

“Huh? I'm sorry, I didn’t hear you.” He said with wide eyes. He’d gotten too wrapped up in the feeling of being taken care of, not that anyone could blame him though, the girl he’d been crushing on forever was here, in his room, helping bandage him up! It's more than he could’ve dreamed of. 

“It’s okay sweetie,” you said, waving him off assuming he was in pain or something. Really, now he had something new to obsess over. Sweetie? While he was practically naked (albeit injured, but he wasn’t thinking of that right now) in bed with you? God, he could just melt.

“I was just wondering which bandages,” you said, holding up the different ones you’d found in his bag. 

“Oh,” he said lamely, “these ones.” He grabbed a few from you and opened them. 

“Look,” he said, leaning over himself to see his wounds properly, “you’ve got to bring together both sides of the wound, then secure the bandage so that it’s holding it closed.” He talked as he placed the first bandage with you watching and listening with intent. 

“Okay, I think I’ve got it,” you said as you took the rest of the bandages from him. You steadied yourself, straddling his thigh as you started placing the bandages down his wound. The biggest gash took about five, your elbow resting on his abdomen as you got lower…and lower. 

Conveniently, you missed the quiver in his breath, too focused on the work at hand, but you didn’t miss the small gasp he let out when your forearm reached right between his thighs. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You said as you pulled away quickly, thinking you’d hurt him. “Did I pinch too hard?”

“No, no angel, you’re fine. Doing a great job actually.” He replied, trying to collect himself. He could not let himself think of that right now. There were more important things at hand. 

“You sure?” You asked him, not looking convinced.

“Positive.” He replied, grabbing your arm and pulling you back in (but making sure to keep you at a healthy distance from his dick). 

You added a few more bandages, most of the cuts only needing one or two, before pulling away again to rummage through his bag. “What do you use on your bruises?”

“This one,” he said, leaning over you and grabbing a tube from the kit. You turned, your lips almost brushing over each other with how close you were. 

“Hi,” you whispered, all thoughts completely flying out of your head as you realized just how badly you wanted to kiss him. 

“Hi angel,” he said smiling softly at you. 

Seeing you debate it in your head, Peter decided it would be easier for the both of you if he did it first. Leaning in, he closed the distance and smoothly took your lips in his. You melted into the kiss right away, feeling like you’d been craving this your whole life when really, you’d just kissed his a few hours ago before you’d left work. 

Your hands were on his bare chest, you could feel every muscle, every move when-

“Wait, you’re hurt!” You pulled away, leaving a pouting Peter in your wake. 

“My lips work just fine angel,” he said, trying to steal another kiss while you tried to avoid him. 

“But..let me finish at least,” you mumbled against his lips, barely getting a chance to pull away after he’d caught you. 

“You can finish, just lemme do this first,” he responded before kissing you again.

“Hey,” you mumbled against his lips. 

He hummed in response, moving to kiss your cheek, your jawline. If he kept this up you might not try to stop him. 

“Did you know Freddy took the bar exam? And passed?”

That got him to pull away. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking at you confusedly, “I’m kissing you and you decide this a good time to bring up Freddy?”

“Well, y’know,” you shrugged, “figured it was as good a time as any.”

He scoffed, “Unbelievable.”

You giggled, “I win.” You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, pulling away before he could catch you and turn it into more.

“Now lay down, lemme do this,” you said waving the cream at him. 

He moved grumpily and you thought grumpy Peter was the cutest thing ever. The furrow of his brows, the slight pout of his lips. You could just kiss him. And you would’ve if you hadn’t known where it would lead you. 

You unscrewed the cap to the cream and started applying it gently. “So Fred’s a lawyer huh?” Peter spoke up. 

“He is!” You whispered excitedly, glad he was just as shocked as you were. 

“And you learned this how?” He asked, giving you a look. 

You shrugged. “He let me in and I talked to him, asked him a few questions to get to know him better since I see him everywhere.” 

“Wait, he’s here right now?”

“Yeah,” you said slowly, “I thought you knew?”

“No I didn’t-,” he let out a sigh, “whatever it's basically his apartment too at this point I guess.”

You laughed, “And you’re okay with that?”

He shrugged with his good side. “He buys the good beer.”

You laughed again. “He scored a 350 on the bar exam!”

Peter’s brows shot up. “Oh shit.”

“I know! The only thing I knew about him was that he blacked out in that frat house’s pool all night and the cops were called cause someone thought he was dead.”

“Yeah, he’s super lucky he was on his back. Just floated around the pool like a leaf.”

You shook your head, screwing the cap back on the tube of cream, “Crazy. But anyway, I’m done. And on the plus side,” you grinned at him, “if you ever get in legal trouble, you know someone!”

He laughed out loud, and you watched as his face scrunched up and he clutched his side in pain. Apologizing for the joke, you gave him a kiss on the cheek to make up for it. 

“Enough about crazy Freddy,” he let out a sigh, “I’m gonna go put some clothes on, and then I wanna cuddle with my girl.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words and all you could do was smile as he stood up, giving you a kiss on the side of your head before he moved to pick out some clothes.

You watched him get dressed, biting your lip as you watched how his muscles rippled with each of his movements. You always knew he was strong but seeing him like that, was a completely different story. 

“Like what you see?” He asked, smirking at you before he lifted his shirt, holding it up between his teeth as he tied his sweatpants. 

Your mouth fell open. At being caught and also at…how absolutely hot he looked right now. If he wasn’t injured, you would be all. over. him. 

“S’alright angel,” he said as he stalked towards you. He was enjoying this, a lot. “I’m sure I’d be the same if the roles were reversed.”

That did not help. Now you were thinking about being naked in front of Peter and-

He laughed, kissed the side of your head again, and laid down, pulling next to him. 

“Careful Peter, you’re still hurt!” You chastised him. 

He shook his head, “You made me feel a hundred times better. Thank you, angel.”

“Of course Petey.” He smiled at you as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight. 

“So, you came to see me right? Y’know, before the whole finding out I’m Spider-Man thing. What’s up?”

“Oh I almost forgot,” you perked up, tilting your head up so you could see his face, “I think I totally aced that chemistry exam!”

“Angel! I’m so proud of you!” He started attacking you with kisses, kissing you anywhere his lips could reach. 

You giggled, “Thank you sweetie, but seriously I owe you most of the credit, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Nonsense,” he shook his head, “that was all you. I barely helped, you learned everything and then took that quiz, and aced it.”

“Well I haven’t gotten my grade back yet, I just have a really good feeling, so don’t sound too are there's a chance I didn’t do as well as I thought.”

“Nope,” he said, popping the p. “I have a sense, a spidey sense. And my spidey sense is telling me that you totally aced that thing. No questions asked.”

You laughed loudly. “Spidey sense?”

“No questions,” he repeated as he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“Fine then,” you snuggled up further into him. “No questions.”

[pyrodolls]

sugar daddy! johnny cage x reader hcs

warnings: established relationship, gender neutral reader, slight angst if you squint

summary: sfw hcs of johnny cage being a sugar daddy in your relationship

a/n: howdy y’all. guess what. i wrote this outta nowhere cuz i saw someone thirsting for a sugar daddy johnny sooooo. here we are. i love writing this goofy goober hes so silly. sorry for all my late updates these days btw. ive had this in my drafts for weeks istg.

- dating a rich dude has its perks. like being spoiled 24/7!

- johnny doesn’t have a specific love language. but if he had to have one, it would be gift giving.

- it’s not *just* because he has the financial stability to do so, but he loves showing off his knowledge of your taste by giving you gifts catered towards your interests.

- if you ever happen to dislike something he got, even if you hid your disapproval, johnny would immediately notice and replace it. only the best for his beloved!

- he probably would notice right away if you didn’t like something. you don’t show it with your face, but he can just *tell* sometimes. it’s like a gut feeling to him. spidey senses, even. sugar daddy senses.

- “johnny, there’s no need to waste your time returning it. i like it, i swear!”

- “no you don’t. but no worries, honey. i’ll be back in a jiffy! i’ll come back with an even better gift. a gift so good, it’ll change your life! trust me.”

- if you ever mention that you like something, johnny would be searching for it in every store he enters and he would spend hours looking it up online. he wouldn’t just buy *all* the stuff he sees for you, he must find only the best of the best for you.

- let’s say you mentioned that you liked ducks one time. that night before going to sleep in your shared bed, johnny would turn away from you and he’d search all over the internet for anything with ducks on it. or a giant duck plush. you would try to look over his shoulder to see what he’s searching for, but he’d childishly wiggle his finger in front of your face and say “no peeking!”

- expect large packages to show up at your door every day. johnny loves online shopping, and you’d have to pry his phone away from his fingers to stop his addiction.

- 90% of the packages aren’t even for him. most of it is for you. clothes he thinks would look great on you and show off your body, accessories you showed the slightest bit of interest in, or cds/vinyl of your favorite artists (some are even signed, thanks to johnny’s connections.)

- he doesn’t want you to pay him back. johnny spoils you because he loves you. he is fully aware that he doesn’t have to. it’s just his way of showing that he loves you and he can provide for you for the rest of your life, if you’d let him.

- you don’t even have to lift a single finger! let him buy you clothes and food and other necessities, he loves doing so.

- no matter how badly you wish to pay him back, johnny would not let you. he doesn’t want you to pay him back as if it’s debt. all he wants in return is your affection and validation.

- he would never admit it, but he craves validation from you all the time. he lost his ex-wife because he was so caught up in the money and fame in his life, and he doesn’t want to repeat history. if he ever accidentally overwhelmed you with his job or money, he would feel extremely guilty about it. it’s pretty much his greatest fear.

- overall, johnny loves spoiling you. you’re such a sweet and precious thing, so of course he must treat you well! you deserve the greatest luxuries he can provide, whether you asked for it or not. if you ever ask for anything, don’t feel like a brat, he wouldn’t mind! in fact, he would love to grant your wishes every time you ask for a certain gift. if not, no worries. he can learn your likes and dislikes the longer you’re together, no need to tell him what you want. he’ll figure it out.

[kookslastbutton]

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m)┃ch. V

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 3,342

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), jk has milk obsession, oc injured, both lonely :(, mommy issues, lots of family drama/in-laws, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues, jk being good hubby to oc

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: I've heard the requests and I think it's time to fulfill them–how did they get together?! Yes, it's here and I'm excited to finally share! Also, yes this took up whole chapter so a tiny break from present-day stuff but we'll be back at it next chapter. 💞

<< ch. IV ༓ ch. Vl >> | series masterlist

Before marrying you, Jungkook had the same routine. He got up, showered, brushed his teeth, put work clothes on, grabbed breakfast, and ran out the door with twenty minutes to spare. Trying to find a parking spot at 7 a.m. at the university was no joke and he had to leave early or some college kid would take the last spot and not think twice.

His night routine was similar. Jungkook finished the day between 5 and 6 pm, slowly regretting he ever agreed to teach evening classes. He’d kick off his shoes, eat dinner, grade some of his student’s papers if needed, brush his teeth again, and went to bed.

It was a constant cycle and with no one around, not even a pet, Jungkook’s life was fairly quiet and systematic. Sometimes his buddies would come over on the weekend for a couple of hours and that surely rocked his world.

But that wouldn’t happen often during the school season due to his ridiculously packed teaching schedule. The most recent person he’d hang around during those months was Taehyung and if he wasn’t free, Jungkook would spend his time at the grocery store–stocking up on milk.

4 years ago

“That was two weeks ago man,” Jungkook says, pushing a cart with five-gallon jugs of milk to his car. He’s on the phone with Taehyung who's reminiscing about the grand opening of the new art exhibit and how “lovely” it was to meet you there.

Jungkook doesn’t need reminding though.

He clearly remembers seeing you there and Taehyung happily making a complete fool of him once he found out who you were. Thankfully you hadn’t seemed to mind too much since you and Taehyung soon moved on to discuss various art theories, masterpieces, and underrepresented artists.

“You didn't have to stay y'know.” If Jungkook didn't know any better he'd think Taehyung was salty. "You could've left at 8 pm like you planned. __ and I would have been fine."

Jungkook winces hearing the man's argument. He did think about going home at 8, but it unsettled him to leave you alone with Taehyung. His colleague was enjoying himself a little too much that night and there’s no telling what he’d do or say when he’s overly comfortable.

Jungkook had to stay until you left.

"Are you kidding me? Leaving you unsupervised would've been the worst idea after all your endless blubbering." Jungkook pops the trunk of his car, stuffing the jugs of milk inside. "God knows what you'd scar __ with."

On the other line, Taehyung smirks through the speaker. "No, that's not it......you weren't going to leave me alone with a woman, an attractive one at that."

Jungkook grabs the last jug of milk, slamming it on the floorboard. "Student, and stop talking about her like that. She's my stu—"

"Say student one more time and I'm going to take all your milk and give it to Yoongi hyung's cats."

"I swear to god, Taehyung, if you touch my milk I'm never going to another art museum or wine tasting with you again." Jungkook is very protective of his dairy products.

"That's okay. I don't need you when __ says she'll be happy to go with me sometime." Smug bastard, Jungkook thinks. There's no way you said that.

"That's bull Taehy—"

"Look she's in her masters and is literally eight years younger than you. It's not that serious so stop acting like she's fresh out of high school. Besides, you said it yourself, she's not a child."

Jungkook grunts, shoving the cart into the others. "She's a young lady who happens to be enrolled in the school. As faculty, we have no business thinking or talking about her outside those terms."

"For fucksake, Kook. You always make things so complicated!" Taehyung's baritone voice cracks through the speaker. "I'm just trying to get you to admit that you're into her some way or another. How many other students have I stayed to talk to and you couldn't give a—"

Just then a loud, high-pitch screech interrupts the call. Jungkook whips his head around immediately. He doesn't spot anything at first but a string of profanities remains audible in the distance.

"Jungkook, are you okay?"

"Yeah, but someones screaming and I can't tell where it's coming from." Jungkook walks around the grocery parking lot, eyes darting left and right. "Oh shit!"

There, near the bus stop, you lay on your side with your right leg stretched out and blood running from your temple. You try getting up but you fall right back down, cursing sharply.

"Taehyung I gotta go, it's __. I don't know what happened but she's laying by the bus stop and I think she needs help!" Jungkook shuts his phone and races to where you lay. He kneels next to you with sheer horror on his face. "__, what happened? What can I do?"

"Damn college boys, Dr. Jeon," you spit, dragging your leg up as far as you can. You reach for your bag which had flung about a foot away when you crashed. "So fucking eager to get off the bus and—oh damn that hurts like a bitch!"

"What hurts?" Jungkook lunges forward to catch your torso from slamming on the hard concrete. "Stay still okay? We need to get you to the hospital."

"I'm all set, but thanks. It'll likely heal in a day."

Jungkook shakes his head and wraps an arm under your back and legs. "Can you put your arms around my neck?"

"Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but I don't want to go to the hospital. Please."

You're serious. No trace of bluffing or even simply trying to act tough. You really don't want to go.

"You need to be checked by a doctor sweetheart," Jungkook insists. "Whatever happened has made it so you can't walk. C'mon, my car is nearby and I'll drive you over."

"No, wait!" He feels you push against his chest.

"__. I'm not leaving you without making sure you didn't break a bone or something. I don't want to make things worse but you don't look so hot right now. So please, let me take you." Jungkook lifts you up when you give a barely consenting yes.

"You sprained your ankle pretty bad hun." Dr. Kim Seokjin draws your attention to the X-ray scan. "Second degree." He points to the visual of your partially torn ligament. "There's going to be a lot of swelling so you're gonna need to stay off your foot for at least 4 weeks."

"Do I have to stay here?" is your first question.

"For the first couple of weeks, we strongly advise—yes." Dr. Kim moves on to the next X-ray scan. "You also cracked a rib which will also take about 4 weeks to heal, or more. Of course you're head has suffered a mild concussion as well but it's very mild thankfully." Dr. Kim catches sight of Jungkook next to you, staring at the scans. "You're wife's going to be okay," he says mid-diagnoses.

"We're not—" you start to say but Dr. Kim continues talking.

"Wife, girlfriend, lover, what have you. The point is, much of what we have here will recover with a month of rest, ice, and elevation." He takes a pen from his pocket and starts jotting down something on paper. "I recommend two weeks here for moderation purposes. If things look good, you finish the healing at home. Still, be careful though, no funny business."

The blank looks on both your faces tell Dr. Kim he wasn't clear enough. "Yah, my filters going to die with you two doe-eyed deer. No funny business means no sex!"

"Oh god!" You outburst, mortified by the thought. Jungkook whips his head to your slack-jawed expression. "Dr. Kim, it's not like that between us."

The older man suddenly zeros in on your professor, eyes narrowing slightly. "What's the matter son? Having trouble getting it up?"

Jungkook jolts in his seat, startled by the crass response. "I—no, what? There's nothing wrong with my—"

"We're not together!" You shout before Jungkook's sentence finishes. "We're friends." Saying that your professor brought you here sounded a little odd for some reason, especially when Dr. Kim was already convinced you two were a thing.

"Mhm sure, heard the same thing from my wife before we went off and eloped." Dr. Kim treads to the door. If he has a dime for how many times he's heard that "we're friends" bs he'd be...well, he's already rich so never mind. "Let's move on to something more productive now, like getting __ settled in a room. The sooner she starts the healing process, the sooner she can be good as new again."

"Thank you Dr. Kim," Jungkook says, slowly standing up to stroll you and your wheelchair out of the room. You didn't like it but the nurses insisted you be in one to keep pressure off your muscles.

"Yeah yeah." Dr. Kim waves him off. "Just remember what I said, no funny business. Especially here at the hospital. You don't know how many times I've heard the nurses catching their patients on top of one another at 2 am in the morning. That better not be you two, whoever you are to each other."

"Yes, doctor." You both reply, thankful of the fact that neither of you are in any position to be looking at each other.

"Is there any way I can be here for less than two weeks?" Jungkook watches as you plead with the nurse. It worries him that you're still anxious to avoid medical attention.

"I'm afraid not," the nurse says simply. "If you need anything, press the call button and I'll be in as soon as I can."

Once the nurse leaves, Jungkook pulls up a chair next to your bed. "Stupid question but how are you feeling?"

"I'm in an ankle brace, my rib burns, and my head is still dizzy. I'm trapped in the hospital for two weeks and all because a bunch of nineteen-year-old boys couldn't wait to hit up some frat party," you groan, not bearing in mind your tongue. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this Dr. Jeon."

"You didn't drag me into anything __. I'm glad I was there when this happened and I'm even more glad that you're here, getting help." Jungkook clears his throat before continuing. "Even if it isn't ideal for you."

You ignore the subtle pry for information. "Please, Dr. Jeon. You don't have to stay any longer. It's the weekend and I'm sure you have plans."

Jungkook gives a faint smile. "So, you're saying this is none of my business?"

"No, not—not at all. I mean if you want to stay then I guess you can but I don't want you to feel obligated or anything."

"I want to be here," Jungkook says simply. "But you know that's not what I meant. I'd like to know why it bothers you when anyone tries to help you...if I may."

"Just habit," you mumble quickly, averting eye-contact. It's not your professor's job to bear the weight of your problems.

Jungkook nods in reply, pretending you gave a satisfactory explanation. He wishes you'd tell him but if you didn't want to share more then that was your choice —he wasn't going to force you. "I understand." He grabs his phone from his pocket and rests his elbows on his knees. "Are you hungry?"

"Huh?" You look back at him, his question going right over your head.

"I asked if you're hungry. It's about dinner time so I can get you something if you want. I also have a bunch of milk in my trunk that needs to get to a fridge. But I can place the order now and pick it up in my way back here."

"Milk in your trunk?" Is the only words you repeat, dumbfounded. "Like chocolate milk or...?"

"Nah, Whole Milk." Jungkook grins at your scrunched up face. You try to hide it but not very well. "Don't look so disgusted. Milk is good for you."

"Yeah when you're ten years old."

"On the contrary!" You flinch when his voice rises, along with his eyebrows. "Milk has a lot of health benefits as adults. It has thirteen essential nutrients and helps maintain muscle and bone strength. I drink at least two full glasses a day, if not more."

"I'm sorry but that's nasty." You shudder at the thought of drinking milk in your twenties let alone your thirties. "You really enjoy it? The taste?"

"Yup, always have since a baby! Loved it so much that my mother-" You raise an eyebrow to which he abruptly switches topics. "Anyway, do you want me to pick you up something or no?"

You giggle, a little uncomfortable with whatever he was about to disclose to you.

"That's okay, no thanks."

"You sure? Otherwise I'm gonna be eating in front of you." Jungkook knows how this sounds — he's trying to force you to eat. But the truth is, he just doesn't want to eat by himself tonight. He also doesn't want to leave you alone this early, especially when you obviously detest being here, for whatever reason.

"I'm sure," you say. "But...if you want to come back you can. Not like I have anything to do anyway."

"Good then." Pleased, Jungkook opens up his phone contacts. "Give me you're number in case you change your mind while I'm out."

Over the next couple of weeks, Jungkook continues to stay by your side. He leaves to teach his classes of course and to go home late at night, but he stops by every day—hours at a time.

You keep insisting that he not come so much but he always makes the same excuses. "I just brought food" or "You're on my way home from the university". Sometimes he brings in class notes too.

Due to your current predicament, you're missing a lot of content so Jungkook thinks it best to go over key principles with you and takeaways from his lectures. He says it's his duty as a professor–never minding the fact that many of his other students are in a predicament of their own yet he’s not bothering to do jack for them.

"Look Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but you really don't have to. I'll be perfectly alright to catch myself up from the textbook and study guides. You don't have to keep stopping by." You try again but Jungkook keeps his wall just as strong as yours.

"I know I don't have to __. I know that I could leave right now, take all these lecture notes home with me, and not feel guilty about a thing. But I told you I was going to be here and I'm going to keep to that no matter how many times you urge me to leave. I also want you to call me Jungkook outside class but have you allowed for any of those to happen?" Jungkook tosses the folder of notes in his sachel, a loud thump following. "A simple thank you would suffice."

"I am grateful, I really am. But I never asked to be given so much of your time. I feel bad because maybe you're just one of those overly nice people who feel it's their duty to stick around or what not when someone's in trouble. I don't need to be pitied over! Also, you said I could keep calling you the usual, so Dr. Jeon it will remain!" Why you're raising your voice, you don't know but it's happening either way.

"Yeah I did," Jungkook quips, matching your tone. "But after the last, nearly two weeks I think we ought to be on a first-name basis! And I'm in no way pitying you okay? I'm here because I care dammit! I don't want you to be alone and I don't want you to be behind in getting your Masters. So I' try to be be here every day for at least fifteen minutes if not more!"

You don't fully process what he says so you reply to what you remember most. "Why? Why can't I call you Dr. Jeon? It's been that way from the start, twice every week. So why do I need to call you Jungkook all a sudden?!"

"Because it makes me feel younger, you insulted my milk after I first took you to the hospital, we've been eating dinner almost every night since your injury, you told me about your childhood cat named Mr. Muttonbottom, and you just called me by my first name so there are no take backs! Now, if you're done making a fit, do you want bibimbap or jajangmyeon for dinner tonight?!"

What the actual hell? You cease your arguing at once, hearing your professor, or excuse you, Jungkook, all fluffed up. Obviously, you're not the only one high-strung over being stuck in the same routine day in, day out.

"Jajangmyeon...please," you mutter.

"Thank fuck," he swears. Yeah that's new too.

"Sorry for getting mad earlier." You mumble the words as soon as Jungkook returns with the food. "It just feels odd that you've been here all the time...you're my professor."

Jungkook mauls over your choice of words, stiffening ever so slightly. "Well, I'd like to think we're sorta friends now but alright. Does this actually bother you __? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, you know that." He places the bag of take-out on the small desk near your bed.

"No, it's doesn't bother me." you just don't know how to react or what to say besides a measly thank you. More so, you don't want to make someone feel responsible for you...you should take care of your own shit without bringing others with you. It's not the best mindset, you're aware, but its the one you have.

"Okay good because to be completely transparent, I'm sorta here for me too. I live my myself, eat by myself, talk to myself....I do most things alone so it's nice having someone else to be around." He's not sure where to set his eyes, so he looks downward, fumbling with the napkins in front of him. "I'm making this awkward, sorry."

Feeling the strange need to offer comfort, you stretch a hand over Jungkook's arm. "I get it. It's nice having someone around too."

You and Jungkook hold each other's gaze for a few seconds more, letting the brief silence do the rest of the talking. Maybe you've been looking at this a little too one-sided.

"How are you feeling today? Any better?" Jungkook cracks open the bowl of Jajangmyeon, handing it to you with a pair of chopsticks.

You take the steamy food and gesture to your ankle which has swollen down a good amount. "Still more healing to be done but it's better."

Jungkook hums in approval. "That's comforting to hear. Dr. Kim going to discharge you soon?"

"Yeah, I think so. A few more days and he said I should be able to rest up at home."

"Really?" He chews on his bottom lip. "Well great, uhm , do you have stuff going on when you get back?"

You think a moment, trying to recollect if you made plans with Na-Rae. "Maybe some but not much. I don't have a ton of people around me right now either...down here I mean."

"Well, do you wanna go out to dinner then?" Jungkook pops the question more causal than expected. It's almost like he planned this or at least has been thinking about it for a bit. "We've been eating together for a while now and I think it might be a nice celebratory thing."

"Are you asking me on a date...Jungkook?" Because it defiantly sounds like he is, as indirect as it may be.

His reply is barely audible but you hear it and for the first time, your professor sounds truly timid. "Uh, well...let's go with "hang out", like friends do."

A/N: so yeah, thats how they got together 👀😅 anyone surprised? Thinking about a drabble for thier first date now haha. Anyway, next chapter we get back to present day stuff where more drama goes down. Also, adding a chapter bc this flashback took the whole chapter lol. Lmk your thoughts 💞

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[gabyun]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ he likes me, he likes me not. - n.riki

pairing - niki x fem! reader

genre - highschool! au , bestfriends to lovers , fluffy fluff, teenage love, awkwardness in some parts, amusement park date

warnings - none besides like a few swear words😭 AND ITS VERY CHEESY

summary - you and niki hangout consistently, multiple times a week. the air started to feel different between you two, but both of you just tried to ignore it. niki, unfortunately wasn’t able to ignore it so easily. he felt butterflies from such little things you would do, little things you would say. he lately had a fuzzy feeling around you, but he just kept telling himself ` i don’t like her, we’re just too close. i don’t like her, i don’t like her, i don’t like her. or do i? `

wc - 2.7k

a/n - ahh this is my first time even writing something like this, i hope its not cringe or anything and i hope it doesnt seem way too rushed. i’ve been wanting to write stuff for awhile now and i finally had the chance to so i hope this came out good 😽 lmk if theres anything i should keep in mind for the next one !! i also finished this at like 2am so its not entirely proofread but definitely give me advice 🙏(also this entire time ive been listening to ur so pretty by the wasia project so this is like the background song of this story.)

you and riki were inseparable. firstly, you guys had almost every class together so it truly added onto the fact that you both were rarely seen without each other. secondly, you both lived on the same street since second grade meaning you two walked home together everyday. so, obviously people had speculated that there was something between you both. but, you guys consistently turned the idea down. it was now last period, english class. you guys inevitably sat beside each other. " hey niki " you began. "hm? whats up?" he perked up after having his head laying down on his desk. "do you wanna stop at the convenience store before we head home? im kinda hungry and both of our parents dont get home until 6pm." you asked. "hell yeah i do!" he looked up at you excitedly. "but you have to pay this time. i didnt bring any money" "ugh, fine" you sulked. "y/n i literally payed last time." you shot him a dirty look. "fine. but dont get $30 worth of snacks like that one time." "yeah yeah whatever.."

the bell rang, and it was time to go home. you and niki excitedly walked to the convenience store you both previously mentioned. you walked up to the door, opening it and jokingly saying "ladies first" to niki. "tch" he said sassily, rolling his eyes. the door chimed whilst being opened, and the employee greeted you both. you guys walked around the snack isle, the brightly coloured drinks illuminating certain sections of the store. one in particular caught your eye, so you walked over and grabbed it "i cant believe you dont like milkis." you said. "there are way better drinks y/n. " "yeah? like what." you challenged him. "um, anything besides milkis?" he sarcastically smiled. you walked over toward the icecream bin, selecting your favourite one. "niki, u want ice cream? they have ur favourite." you reached in deeper to grab it. "yeah sure. thatll be nice on a day like this" "ugh, i don’t want winter to come.. it’ll be so cold!" you shuttered. "you’ll survive y/n" niki sighed. you walked up to the checkout counter with niki, placing your items down. "that’ll be $14!" the older, but sweet looking woman said. "thats much less then last time." you pulled out your wallet, giving her the money. you both walked out, and you sat down on the concrete steps next to the store windows. niki followed, sitting right next to you. you never noticed before, but he smells good. like a mix of shampoo and some sort of cologne. you never knew he wore cologne. you guys simultaneously unwrapped the ice cream together, and started indulging in the sweet snack. "this is so good!" you said. "i bet mines better." niki remarked. "let me try yours." he put his ice cream in-front of your mouth, and let you take a bite. "mmh.. its alright.. niki i just think my tastes are better then yours" you shrugged playfully. your relationship was always playful. you guys were constantly teasing each other, and it felt good. it felt good to be so close to someone. as you guys continued, he looked over at you. the lights of the convenience store lit up the back of your body as the sun started setting earlier due to it getting slightly colder, making your hair glisten. he never noticed how pretty your hair looked under the bright lights. you both finished up, starting to get ready to finish your walk home. as you guys cleaned up, you looked over toward his face. you giggled, reaching your hand towards his mouth. "you’ve always been such a messy eater." his eyes widened, a hint of pink slightly covering his cheeks. "i-i can clean my own face.." "oh. sorry niki." you trailed off, confused. this wasn’t your first time cleaning off his face yet to him it felt different. he felt an unusual feeling, his heart fluttered and his stomach felt warm as his face did too. throughout this whole interaction, the convenience store lady observed quietly through the window. "i miss my high school years." she sighed.

late summer turned into fall, and fall turned into winter. nikis feelings just kept getting harder and harder to ignore. niki was in the change room after gym class with his friends. "are you sure you dont have feelings for y/n?" his friend jay asked. he hesitated momentarily. "yes. i am sure.. why are you asking..?" he questioned, worriedly. "so you wont care if i ask her to go out with me?" niki looked shocked by his comment. "you dont even know her.. why would you wanna ask her out." he said, annoyed. "niki, she is really beautiful. im sure theres a lot of other guys who would love to get a chance with her." his other friend heeseung added. "still! y/n doesnt need to be dating shitty guys like you. she deserves someone who will treat her right.. especially not you guys." he huffed, even more annoyed. "and i dont like her." jay and heeseung shrugged in defeat. "or do you?" jay added. "i dont.." niki trailed off, thinking about it more. "whatever you say, buddy." heeseung said, sarcastically. niki finished changing quickly, grabbing his bag and leaving for his next class. once the door shut, jay and heeseung and a few other boys began talking "he definitely has feelings for her." "yeah, 100%" "i don’t doubt that" "its getting extremely obvious" "mhm"

he stood outside your house, waiting for you to come out so you both could get headed to school. he oddly felt nervous. you opened the door, and waved, cutely. you were wearing a scarf, as niki was also. you both had big puffy jackets. you walked towards him. "lets go! i dont wanna be late again." he took in your beauty. "mhm" he answered, quietly. as you were walking, you offered him your other earphone. you guys had similar music tastes. ‘somethin stupid’ by frank sintara had begun to play. "i love this song." you said, softly. "yeah. it is really nice." he breathed out air, the cold made it look like smoke. you opened your pocket mirror, adjusting your hair. "do i look good? i had such a bad hair day yesterday." niki turned to you, not surprised by your question, but hes never truly seen you that way before. hes always known you’re pretty, but he never actually felt that way. "you look beautiful. you are beautiful." he said. "w-what?" you said, completely taken aback. he’s obviously complimented you before, but about your looks more specifically? this time, it really sounded like he meant it. you looked away from your pocket mirror, facing him. he looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes. you both stood there for a couple seconds more. "n-nothing.. forget i even said anything." he looked down at his feet. you could practically feel his embarrassment radiating off of him. you guys continued walking, listening to your shared playlist. a couple minutes go by and you began to speak. "thank you, niki." "hm?" "thank you. for calling me beautiful." you looked down at your feet, smiling. "oh.. don’t worry about it." he rubbed the back of his neck. both of your feelings were becoming more and more apparent as the days went on.

you were laying in bed, reading your favourite book with a comforting lamp on. you were under your fluffy blanket, and your curtains flowed softly as your window was the slightest bit open. you felt the buzz go off on your phone sitting next to you.

riks : omg y/n

you : omg niki

riks : remember that amusement park we mentioned wanting to go to for awhile?

you : yes ofc i remember?!?

riks : WELL THEYRE OPENING NEXT WEEKEND!!

you : NO WAY FR??

riks : YES DO U WANNA GO

you : is that even a question.

riks : alr alr IM SO EXCITED

you : ME TOO

you shut off ur phone, kicking around in your bed out of excitement. you and nikis parents would always take you guys to amusement parks or fairs when you were little. you guys haven’t gone in quite a while, so this was gonna be fun, but also nostalgic. big rides were always your favourite thing, but he hated them. he was always so scared to go on them, so this time you were absolutely determined to make him go on one with you.

around a week passes by, and its time to get ready to go to the amusement park with niki. it was still pretty cold, so you had to take that into account. the park was opening back up for some sort of winter event, apparently it was supposed to be really pretty. you’re getting ready, styling your hair and doing your makeup. usually, you dont put that much makeup on. but this time, without even realizing, you were doing alot more. you put some really pretty eyeglitter on, using waterproof mascara so your eyelashes hold better, just overall doing stuff you wouldnt usually do on a day to day basis. "wait.. why am i so worried about how i look, its just niki." you told yourself. just niki. as you were continuing to get ready, you were getting increasingly nervous. "this isnt a date y/n, this isnt a date. you have nothing to be worried about. its just a regular hangout with your bestfriend." you kept telling yourself. you put your jacket on, and you also grabbed a fuzzy scarf. little did you know, niki was telling himself the same things in the mirror as he tried to lessen the sweat on his palms.

you and niki arrive at the amusement park. it was beautiful lit, even though it wasn’t late the lights of all the fun rides illuminated the place wonderfully. you and niki looked at each other and smiled brightly, bringing back tons of memories. niki ran over to the bumper cars, and you followed. it was always his favourite thing to do. you hopped in the car of your choice and niki went in the one beside you. the game started, and you tried your best to hit niki as hard as you possibly could, whipping him forward practically giving him whiplash. you were basically pissing yourself laughing as he gave you the nastiest look. it took him a few tries but he finally ended up beside you once again and repeatedly rammed into you. you guys went 2 more rounds before becoming tired and finally leaving the bumper car area. you both adjusted yourselves, but niki noticed your shoelace was untied. "y/n, hang on." he knelt down in-front of you, and began tying your shoelaces with his slender fingers. "i could’ve done it myself but thank you niki" he looked up at you, smiling and nodding. you ruffled his hair and he shot up. "hey!! i spent a while trying to make my hair look good.." you laughed at him, continuing to look for other things to do. one of those water gun games caught your eye. "niki look! we used to always try and win plushies on that." his head swung toward you, immediately challenging you to see who could score higher. you both were trying your hardest, and you obviously won. he sighed in defeat. the employee handed you this adorable hamster plushie. you looked at it, smiling. "niki you kinda look like a hamster when you’re sulking." you put the hamster up to his face to compare, jokingly. "tch, yeah yeah whatever y/n" he said. "niki, you should have it. it looks like you anyways, and you’ll be reminded of me everytime you look at it." you shot him a joking wink. he took the plushie as you said he should. some time passes by, and you guys already ate and drank stuff, went on the carrousel and all of the basics and its been a few hours. the sun was starting to set, and the lights of the park continued to get brighter. "niki. we need to go on a big ride." niki looked at you for a split second, as if you just told him his pet died. "um absolutely not?" he answered. "niki pleaaaaaase" you clung onto his arm, pretty close to his face. "cmonnn just this once?" you blinked at him. he was looking directly at you, but no words were escaping his mouth. "f-fine.." he looked away, with a tinge of pink covering his ears. you were unable to tell if he was blushing or if he was cold. "i never thought you’d actually agree. this is like the best day ever?!" you grabbed nikis arm, and rushed into the line of one of the relatively larger rides, but not too large so niki wouldn’t be too terrified. after a bit you guys got seated beside eachother, and the employee pulled the over the shoulder restraint on you guys. you could tell niki was obviously nervous. "y/n i cant believe you made me do this. i actually despise you right now." "im sorry!!! only this once okay, i’ve always wanted to go on one with yo-" your sentence was cut short as the ride began, making a loud noise. "y/n i cant believe this." niki panicked. you giggled slightly as the ride made its way up to the highest point. you put your hand out for niki to hold, and he grabbed it immediately. after a few more seconds of comforting him the ride reached its highest point. after the it holding for a few seconds, it let go and your free hand went up. niki squeezed tighter and screamed loud. "Y/N L/N I DONT KNOW WHY I AGREED TO THIS" "I DONT KNOW EITHER" you yelled back. after around a minute, the ride came to its final stop.

you got off smiling and happy, whereas niki came off completely disheveled. it was a funny scene, you looked like a joyful golden retriever puppy and he looked like a grumpy black cat. you looked back at him and noticed his messy appearance. "sooo, how was it." you asked curiously, fixing his jacket along with his scarf. "never again." his eyes met your face. "it couldnt have been that bad." you reached your arms up, fixing his fluffy hair. you smiled at him whilst he stared into your face, unable to think of anything besides you.

it turned late, and it was 10 minutes left on the clock before the beautiful fireworks started. you guys found a decent place to stand, and you were both snacking on a pretzel. you witnessed multiple couples walking by, and thinking about how you wouldn’t be so opposed to being in a relationship. "gosh, theres so many couples here today." "theres couples here constantly." he added. "okay, but still. they’re all so lovey-dovey." "i guess so." you guys continued talking and the fire work show started, beginning with a few small ones. you both looked up in sync, mesmerized by the bright colours. twinkling eyes, niki looked over at you. it took him a while to take it in, but at this very moment his feelings truly solidified and he wasn’t so unsure anymore. it was forever since you spent a day together at your favourite childhood place, and now its the place where he recognizes how much he likes you. "y/n?" he says your name. "mhm.. whats up..?" you say slowly, completely and utterly enthralled by the fireworks growing in size. "i-i.." he trailed off, still facing the fireworks but his head facing you. "i think i like you." a huge firework exploded. "no, i do like you." it took you a moment to process. you turned towards him in shock. "i hope this doesn’t ruin anything, i cherish our friendship and i don’t ever want to lose yo-" you cut him off, grabbing his face. "you could never lose me. i like you too, dummy." you gave him a quick peck as another firework exploded. it felt like there were mini fireworks exploding in both of your hearts.

[sentoooo]

[anon: could you do a nsfw alphabet for raiden??!!] i am also so sad about the lack of raiden stuff in general, like im mk1 he's just the sweetest!?!?! like he's so bbg. and in like every other game he's so fuckin hot, dont sleep on him cmoooon. i also apologize for this taking so long to post, ive been getting so distracted lately its kinda hard to focus fully on. anything. BUT IM MAKING UP FOR IT I SWEAR!!!!

cw: amab, nsfw, pretty vanilla tbh, proofread. MINORS DNI

ʀᴀɪᴅᴇɴ || ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Raiden's aftercare routine is second to Tomas'. He loves you, and he refuses to skip aftercare. Doesn't matter how he is, or how tired you are. He's going to run a bath with all sorts of dried herbs and some Himalayan salt, he'll even hop in if you so wish. From there, he'll be hands on, or hands off. Whichever one you like. If you want some space, he's more than happy to give you some. He'll change the sheets, and get you some clean clothes. He'll also make a full on meal for you. But if you'd like him to stay near, he'll sit at the edge of the bath and just talk with you. About the sex, about you, about him, about anything, really. And after all that, he'll carry you to bed,- he refuses to let you walk- and lay down with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite also has to be his hands. He's very proud of his training, especially after becoming Earthrealm's champion. They're strong, and he also loves how they look on your body. He's gentle, always. He's also particularly proud of how soft they are, especially since he was a farmer and now fighting for Earthrealm's protection.

On you, his favorite body part is your chest. He likes how it displays your strength. Not to mention, he's simply drawn to your chest during intimacy. As much as he's Earthrealm's protector, he likes know that you can defend yourself and that you have your own strengths as well. He also enjoys your back, how defined it as, and the little noises you make when he runs his fingers down your spine.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Raiden prefers to cum outside, specifically on your lower back. He simply likes how it looks. He refuses to cum inside, he feels like it's almost undignified. Don't try to convince him to.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to be ridden by you until he sees stars. He's so sure you wouldn't mind it, but you are his first and he's rather apprehensive about sharing. It's the first thing he thinks of when he masturbates even, watching your body grind against him, in a desperate search of pleasure.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You are his first. He had saved his body for someone he had felt comfortable and a real connection with. He enjoys learning about sex with you, especially when you take the lead. Of course, he gains more experience the more you two fuck, and he gets quite good at it. His focus is all on your pleasure, and always will be.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

With his aforementioned secret, he loves cowboy. As much as he loves cumming on your back, he needs eye contact. It is very important to him. He likes to know he's treating you well, watching your face twist in pleasure. It also makes it easy to tell how well he's doing, since he makes sex all about you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Raiden is serious. Granted, he's shy, but he's fully serious about sex. It is something he had saved himself for, and he prefers if you are serious about it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's got a little body hair everywhere. Some arm hair, some chest hair, a delicious happy trail, and some pubic hair. He keeps himself trimmed, however.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Raiden is by far the most romantic. Like I said, he focuses on you during sex, and your pleasure. He does everything to keep the moment intimate, and he makes sure you feel beyond loved. He cherishes you, and as such, he makes you feel like the only boy in the world. You're his one and only love, you're his. He's going to make sure you know how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He prefers not to masturbate when he has you. Even if you two haven't been able to enjoy each other for a while. Now, if he's absolutely yearning for you and you aren't available, he'll jack off then.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

His only kink is praise, really. He loves seeing your reaction when he calls you a 'good boy', listening to your soft moans as he throws all sorts of sweet words & praises your way. He also responds quite fondly to being praised, he likes to know how he's doing. Whenever you praise him, you can always feel a shiver of electricity run from his body to yours.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He always prefers his room. It's comfortable, private, and quiet. He's hesitant with sex, so he enjoys the environment of his own place. It's almost a sanctuary for both of you. He rests easy knowing no one is peering or listening in.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Initiative. Raiden is rather timid, so knowing your yearning and knowing you are okay with taking the initiative really sets the mood and gets him going. He particularly enjoys it when you trace his arms or his hands, and give him that sly smile.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything rough, he hates the thought of harming you, even for your pleasure. He cannot, physically, mentally, or emotionally. If you ask, it is an immediate no. He wants to make you feel good, not make your hurt.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He actually prefers receiving, he just finds it hard to ask. But he'll go down on you if you ask. Anything for you. He's actually really good at giving head, even more so as he continues to learn about all your body's tells and quirks. But if you go down on him, he'll be the loudest, most appreciative man.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Raiden's default is slow & sensual, and he'll only pick up the pace slightly. He takes his time with you, he likes the mood to be right and proper. Doesn't mean he can't make the time worth it though, he makes you cum like no other. As said beforehand, he catches on quickly to your body language. He knows every single sensitive spot on your body, where to touch to make you moan just right. He loves having you give in to his touch and lay against him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

It doesn't matter how long you two have been apart, he refuses to do quickies. He wants the moment to be perfect, to be right. He wants you to feel his love, and he cannot find a proper way to appreciate your body with quickies.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

There is only one thing he wont mind trying, and that's using his powers. He's thought about it, more than once. But he is afraid of hurting you. Of course, he'd only use them on a smaller scale, shocking you just a little here and there. But anything else, he really can't do. If you ask him about using his powers in the bedroom, prepare for a full conversation about it. It is only until he has proper consent that he will try it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

His stamina only increases as he spends more time with you. But he can only last for about 3 rounds, however, he puts his all into every. single. round.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Raiden doesn't see the appeal, to be honest. Perhaps if you ask nicely, he'll use any sort of stimulation toy on you. But why do that when he can use his powers? Creativity is a naughty thing, my friend.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can't bring himself to tease you, not now, not ever. He hates it when you beg, actually. His whole goal is to satisfy you, and if he has you begging, then that means he's not doing his job right.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Raiden is loud. He's sensitive, he's comfortable, and you just make him feel so damn good. Sometimes it's hard for him to form words properly, that all you can hear is the very start of his praises melting into sweet, sweet moans and sounds of appreciation.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He really enjoys coming up with little names for you. And he always loves your reaction bed when he uses them. It's always something sweet, 'My light' is the most common one he'll use. Regrettably, he picked up 'Sweetheart' from Johnny, but the way he says it sounds so perfect. He does prefer using your name, especially during sex, because it just feels intimate.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Raiden's more of a shower, and he's around the average size. He's 5.7" in length when hard, and 1.7" across. He leans slightly towards the left & is slightly veiny.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive depends on you, really. He'll fuck you whenever you wish, as long as time permits it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Raiden's mind is an active one, so it takes him a while to fall asleep after you do. He isn't worried about his performance, no. He's just got a lot on his mind, and sometimes your naked body lingers in it for a bit too long.

[her-power]

Last Chance to Dance (Part Five: Rockstar! e.m x fem reader)

🚨🛑🔞18+++ MINORS DNI - YOU WILL BLOCKED🚨🛑🔞 TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING (For entire series): Rockstar! Addict! Sweet! Mean! Eddie, smut, unprotected p+v, fluff, fingering (f receiving), masturbation, oral (m+f receiving), heavy drug use, descriptions of IV drug use, swearing, talks of anxiety, panic disorder, mental illness, talks of suicide

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Last Chance to Dance Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

A/N: I'm baaaaaaack. I'm feeling so much better. My son is getting better, and he's still his same goofy one year old self. This ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, but the final part will be Part Six! I think you're going to like how I end it. My next series is still brewing in my nogging right now, and I have a few one shot ideas. ALSO, the next series will be a surprise release. What's the theme? You may wonder. Well...I don't know yet! Lmao. I'm just gonna go with the flow, and let my fingers do the talking. (That sounds a little dirty, right? Meh. The dirtier the better!) The series might be based off of a sequence of dreams I have been having of our precious Eddie Munson/Joseph Quinn. I just have to figure out what the fuck they mean. Anyways, I love you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I also didn't proof read this, again, I let my fingers do the talking. ;)

Summary: Full Summary on Part One

Word Count: 7.4k

Seven months ago… It was a busy day at the hospital; it was so short staffed they had to call you down from oncology to fill in in the ICU. You were straddling a young man on a gurney who had come in with an overdose, doing chest compressions as they wheeled him into the room. He wasn’t responsive, he still had a pulse, but there was no reaction to his pupils or muscle movement. You knew he was likely brain dead; he had been unconscious for twenty minutes before he was found. It didn’t take much time for your brain to die out when there wasn’t any oxygen. You hopped off his gurney, another nurse took over with compressions because you were getting tired; the doctor on call had given him more Narcan, but then he started to code. They attempted to shock his heart two times before they called it. He was only twenty, another young life lost. 

You had gone outside for a break; you barely smoked cigarettes anymore but today was one of those days where you were really craving the nicotine. It was a warm day, summer was around the corner, but you could never shake the chills you had when a patient dies. You only had an hour left of your shift, and then you could go home, shower off the day, and then enjoy your next two days off.  You were playing a puzzle game on your phone when an unknown number shows up on your screen. You answer, the man on the other end asks if it was you, you say it was, and you’re not sure if you should hang up, or keep listening. 

“My name is Ted Callahan, I’m a longtime friend of the band Corroded Coffin, and their manager.” 

Your breath hitches for a moment, you scratch your head, confused on what was happening. “Uh…I don’t—”

Corroded Coffin. You have known that name longer than the world has, more than half your life. 

“Listen, I know this is out of the blue, but I’m kind of at a loss right now. I’m calling because, Eddie is…he’s going through some stuff right now. He’s been mentioning you a lot lately, and I never even knew you existed until a few weeks ago, but…just hearing him talk about you, and your history, even though I don’t know much. I was wondering if you could help.” He sounds kind, you say to yourself, also exhausted. You never thought you would hear his name again, or even think he'd ever want to associate himself with you again. 

“Me?” You say, almost laughing. “I don’t…I haven’t spoken to Eddie in…God, going on fifteen years now. We didn’t…we didn’t end on good terms, I’m surprised he even remembers me, I…” I think about him every day still. 

“He said you were his first and only love…listen, honey. I’m gonna give it to you straight here. He almost died a few weeks ago, well, not almost, he did...for probably about five minutes. He overdosed on heroin and now he is in rehab after a legal issue in New York City with a few officers and the paramedics that revived him. I know it’s not your responsibility to save him, but I thought maybe you could reach out to him somehow…a phone call, letter. I don’t know what you kids do these days.” 

“He almost died?” You almost whisper it; your breath is caught in your throat and your stomach turns sour. 

“I’m not gonna make you do something you don’t want to do, honey. I don’t know exactly what happened with you two, but…there’s a spark that lights up in his eyes when he talks about you that I haven’t seen in a long time. You must have been really special to him.” He tells you softly. 

“I don’t know about that.” You whisper. If I was so special, why did he leave? 

“Will you at least save my number? Just let me know what you decide. Again, I’m sorry to dump this all on you. I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t think it was gonna make an impact on him…because I think if this rehab and sobriety thing doesn’t work, I’m afraid he’ll be dead in a year.” 

You rub your forehead, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’ll…I’ll think about it. I’ll save your number.”

“Thank you…you have a very kind voice.” He says and you mutter a thanks, you too, and awkwardly hang up the phone. You’re not entirely sure what to think, you just knew you had to get back to work and you would deal with this later. 

You tried not to think about him on the drive home; it was hard not to. Most days you went without thinking about him even though he was so very present on your heart. You’ve dated other people off and on for years, but nothing ever stuck. They were good men, but they were lacking something you quite couldn’t put your finger on. They weren’t him. You rolls your eyes at yourself, you hated how pathetic you felt when you thought about him. He was this famous rockstar, making millions, selling out stadiums and releasing records and most likely fucking every single woman that met him, but you still loved him. You still loved him after everything he put you through, you still loved him even though it had been fifteen years. It broke your heart hearing that he was using heroin, that it had gotten so bad he is now in a rehab. You weren’t sure how helpful you would be to reach out to him, or if he would even respond. You were still shocked when Ted told you he kept talking about you. It took everything in your power not to call him back and tell him to never contact you again because that part of your life was over. 

Or was it?

You thought it was over. Fifteen years ago, it was. When he had ripped out your heart and stomped on it. When he had left you standing in the middle of the street, on a cold night in Hawkins, as you silently cried, repeating the words he said: “I can’t do this anymore.” He never gave you a reason why, even as he sobbed while he was telling you those words. The next day he was actually gone; Gareth, him and Jeff loaded up his van, and had left before the sun had risen that morning. You had grieved him and were on the way to finish grad school for nursing when you saw their faces on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. After that, their songs were on the radio, they were on everyone’s social media. He was everywhere, and you couldn’t get rid of him. You hated how good their music was, and you couldn’t believe the first song on their first album was the one the two of you wrote together. You remember that day like the back of your hand; it was summertime, senior year of high school was around the corner. You were two nerds in love, and no matter where you went, he was always by your side. You had always loved writing poetry, and that was what started the idea of you writing a few verses for him. 

The wind whips your hair as you attempt to turn the page in your book with one hand, trying to shift the weight of the warm body near you as your lean against the trunk of a tree. Eddie was laying in your lap, writing in his composition notebook. Your other hand was gently curling through his hair, massaging his scalp. He sets his notebook down on his stomach and gazes up at you. You look at him and smile, your eyes going back to your book. His hand reaches up to play with your hair, and he grins. “What are you reading?” 

“The collected poems of Sylvia Plath.” You tell him, not meeting his eyes.

He moans softly. “’I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead; I lift my lids and all is born again. I think I made you up inside my head.’”

“Didn’t know you could read.” You say with a smirk and he laughs. 

“She’s the only woman that has allowed me inside her head, unlike someone I know.” He sits up, seating himself between your legs as you feel his eyes burn into the side of your face. You look at him, placing the bookmark to save your place. He’s smirking that smirk, and you lean back against the tree. 

“You’ve known me your whole life, you still haven’t figured me out?” He smiles and shakes his head. You reach your hand out to grip his chin. “Am I really that hard to read?” 

“Yes.” He says with a laugh. “You’re a mystery to me. I want to know what goes on inside that pretty little noggin of yours.” He leans forward, kissing your lips softly. You smile against his lips. 

“Give me your notebook. I’ll give you a little taste.” 

“Ooooh.” He says, groaning softly, brushing his lips against yours. “Don’t tempt me to taste other things.” 

A shudder goes through you, and you try to hide your blush. He giggles, rubbing your cheek softly, pushing his notebook into your chest. “Write me a song.” 

“I’m not sure if my thoughts are heavy metal material.” You tell him, turning to a blank page and uncapping the pen. He kisses your neck gently; his fingers lightly graze against the soft skin on your arm. Your eyes flutter close at his touch and you press the tip of the pen on the paper. He still gently caresses your skin, his soft lips leaving kissing trails along your neck and jaw. He was lucky you were in a public park, because you were about to say fuck the writing and lift up your dress just to feel him inside you. Well, that has never stopped you two before. 

He rests his head against your shoulder, letting out a peaceful sigh as you write. You’re not sure where it had come from, it felt dark as you stare at the words. You feel Eddie’s palm gently rub over the fabric where your stomach was, gently kneading. Your stomach twitches as he tickles you and he laughs quietly. “Is that a new spot?” He bites his lip, kissing your neck again. 

“Shhh, I’m almost done.” You tell him with a grin. His hand travels below your belly, gently cupping your mound and a small gasp escapes your lips. “Eddie…hands.” 

“Sorry.” He mutters and kisses your cheek. He watches you as you write more on the page. You hand him back the pen and the notebook. “Read it to me.” 

Your eyes widen slightly. “No, I’m embarrassed.” 

“Sweetheart, it’s me.” He tells you with a sweet smile. 

You sigh. “Fine. But don’t laugh at me.” He rests his head against your shoulder as you begin. “They say these ‘violent delights, have violent ends’ but is it so violent, that when the world ends in fire and ice, I’d rather freeze my soul, to be reborn, in a world not so cruel. Soulless eyes stare back into me, terrified of what they’ve seen. A little girl lost, but you found her in the pits of despair and agony. Kissed her tears, tasted her until she felt you in her very core and called you hers. A daughter of the night, the sun burns too bright, the sun burns too bright.” 

Eddie lifts his head from your shoulder and stares at you in awe. “Wow…that was…” 

“Horrible.”

“No! No, sweetheart.” He cups your face. “I didn’t know you could write like that. Why have you been holding out on me?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know, I didn’t think I was that great.” 

“This definitely heavy metal song material.” He takes the notebook from your hands, pressing his lips deeply against yours, holding the side of your face, his tongue licking your lips begging for entrance. You curl your fingers through his hair, feeling the butterflies in your stomach flutter all around as he kisses you. He pulls away, leaving small pecks on your lips. You were breathless, being kissed by him was always so breathtaking to you but he caught you off guard with this one. 

“What was that?” You giggle, staring into his big brown eyes. 

“I just…love you.” He rubs your cheek. “I feel like I don’t tell you that enough.”

He didn’t. And he didn’t love you, he was just lying about it, because why would it be that simple with him? That’s why this decision would make it hard for you. What would you gain from it? A mended friendship? That’s better than nothing, you thought. You didn’t want him to die; your stomach turns at the thought. What an idiot. You shake your head, what the hell was he thinking using heroin? What brought him to that point in his life to make that choice? You sigh, feeling defeated. What would you even say to him in the letter? Would you tell him that you’ve been thinking about him this whole time? No, that sounds pathetic. 

You groan. You pick up the pen, and you just write. 

Present Day - Eddie

I don’t think I’ve left my bedroom at all today. Maybe once to get something to eat. I was in my cabin in New York, Gareth has been staying with me. I know most of it is to keep an eye on me, but I know he doesn’t want to be alone either. It had snowed last night, there was over a foot on my property; Gareth had offered to take my truck to plow, I didn’t say no, I would’ve done it, but it probably would’ve stayed like that until Ted’s services. He wanted a combined wake and funeral; he was going to be buried where his parents were. We had to be in Vermont the day after tomorrow.  I was laying on my side, staring at the wall, and I hear my bedroom door open. I feel the bed shift as Gareth lays next to me. It wasn’t unusual, us to be laying in the same bed. For months we only had my van to drive and sleep in to play music gigs across different states, and the three of us would have to get comfortable being close. “You need to get up, man.” He tells me softly. 

“I will.” I mutter. 

“When?” I can feel his eyes digging into the back of my skull, I squeeze my eyes shut and then snap them open. Everytime I close my eyes I see Ted’s lifeless face, I hear my cries, feel the unbearable weight of the grief. 

“When I go to the bathroom again.” I feel myself smirking and I hear him chuckle a little. 

“You’re scaring me.” He says after a moment of silence. 

“I shouldn’t be.” I say quietly. “I don’t have a needle in my arm.” 

“Not yet.” 

“I love your words of support; it’s always so appreciated.” I say with an eye roll and turn on my back to face him. “I’m not gonna use again.” 

He looks at me, and I see the shy, awkward little kid that I met all those years ago, the kid I took punches for, who I would still take punches for. “How do you know that?” He does look scared, exhausted, sad…really fucking sad. 

I feel my throat close up as tears spring to my eyes. “Because if I do…all the work that I did…all the love and support he gave me even when I was at my worst…that all dies with him. And I can’t do that to him. Not again.” 

His eyes are watery, and he looks away from me, staring up at the ceiling. “I can’t lose you too, Eddie. I really, really don’t think I’d make it.” 

I grab his hand, squeezing it gently. “I’m not going anywhere, man.” 

“What are we gonna do?” He whispers, and I see a tear fall down his cheek and onto my pillow. “He was the heart of our band…what are we supposed to do? Get a new manager?” 

“No.” I say, surprised at how stern I sound. “We don’t need a manager. He taught us everything we needed to know.” 

“It’s not gonna be easy.” He says with a soft laugh. 

“Did he ever have it easy with us?” 

“With us, yes. With you?” He meets my eyes and smiles. 

I laugh. “He did his best, that’s all we wanted.” 

“And he was good at it.” 

“That’s why we can’t get a new manager. It won’t be worth it.” I let out a loud sigh, your face flashes through my mind for a moment and I shudder, trying to not think of you. Gareth can sense my internal demise. 

“You should call her.” 

“No.” I say immediately. 

He sits up to lean against the headboard, looking down at me. “I don’t know why you’re so upset with her. She loves you.”

“She only contacted me because Ted asked her to. That’s not love, that’s pity.” I scoff, running my hands through my hair. I smell ripe, I definitely need to shower. 

“I mean…you walked out on her, Eddie. The fact that she was even willing to give you a chance again after all these years, it shows that she’s loved you this entire time. She started doing chest compressions on Ted the second I said to call 911, she didn’t even hesitate. She just did it. She is the same kind, caring, stupidly beautiful girl that she’s always been. She may have gotten older, but it didn’t hurt her insides. And she loves you, dude. I see her look at you the same way she did fifteen years ago, she’d still go to bat for you. Why does that scare you so much? To let love in like that?” 

“Because why would she love me? All I’ve done is cause her pain.” My voice sounds far away; I hate feeling vulnerable.  

“And have been causing yourself pain in the process. Eddie, you’ve been in love with her forever. Like since before you even started dating. You’ve been through everything together. There’s a reason why Ted reached out to her; there’s a reason why after all these years you get that chance to be with her again. Don’t let this be the thing that takes her away forever.” 

I glance up at him, scowling. “I hate that you have a way with words. I just wanted to kiss you just now.” 

He laughs, patting my head. “Don’t let her go. You’d be stupid to do that again.” He hops off the bed and turns to look at me from the doorway. “You fucking stink, go take a shower.” 

I put up my middle finger and we both laugh; I watch as he walks away and closes my door. I sigh, groaning at the stupid regret I feel in the pits of my stomach. He was right, I’ve been in love with you for so long sometimes it was hard to breathe. I force myself out of bed; it’s like thinking of you was the push I needed. I remember the day I told you I loved you for the first time, I was having the worst anxiety; I remember Uncle Wayne telling me that the worst thing that could happen is that you wouldn’t feel the same way, and that just made me feel worse. It was just a normal night for us, we were smoking pot in the back of my van. It was cold this night, you had a fleece blanket wrapped around your knees, you were singing bohemian rhapsody in all the voices, and I couldn’t handle how funny you were being, I was almost going into a straight panic attack. 

“Please, stop. I can’t…I can’t breathe!” I laugh loudly. 

“For meeeeee, for meeeeeeeee!” You start head banging and ended up whacking your head off of Gareth’s high hat, which causes me to laugh even harder. “Ow! Fuck.” You laugh holding your head and I gently lift your hair to check to make sure there wasn’t a severe injury. 

“That’s what you get.” I laugh, gently smoothing out your hair. You giggle, moving Gareth’s high hat out of the way to make more room. You were wearing a black zip up hoodie, and only a bra underneath. I only knew that because when you leaned over I could only see the hills of your breasts. And I know that’s why you were so cold. Oh, how I wanted to unzip that hoodie even lower, just to see you, see all of you. I hated my hormonal thoughts, it always gave me an erection whenever I thought of you that way. And I have always thought of you as something more, not just my best friend, but someone I could see spending the rest of my life with. I felt stupid thinking like that, we were only seventeen, we were babies. 

“What?” You snap me out of my thought. 

“Huh?” I say. 

You laugh. “You’re just staring at me, are you having a moment? Are you too high?” 

“Let’s not talk about whether I’m too high or not because you know it will send me into a spiral thinking my eyeballs aren’t closing.” I laugh nervously. 

“They’re not closing.” You smirk at me. 

I growl at you. “Don’t be an asshole.” 

You laugh loudly, nudging me with your shoulder, moving yourself onto my lap. I could feel how cold you were, so I wrap my arms around the top of you, gently rubbing your shoulders. It wasn’t unusual for you to do this, we have always been each other's human security blankets, but I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I needed to tell you, just to get it out. Just to let you know that I’ve loved you since I understood what that word meant. That if you didn’t feel the same way, at least you’d know. I’m playing with your hair; my fingers gently go behind your neck and massage the skin. You softly moan a little, and I swallow hard. 

“I have to tell you something.” I whisper to you. You turn your head in my lap to look at me, you have a small smile on your face. My hand gently goes to your chin, and I let out a shaky breath. 

“Hey, are you okay?” You sit up to look at me. 

“I…I um…” I laugh nervously, running my hands through my hair. I stare at your face, your lips. “I’m in love with you.” I give you a little shrug and a small smile. 

You stare at me for a moment, and I can see the gears in your brain turning. “I know this is out of nowhere and I’m sorry…even if you don’t feel the same I just wanted you to-“ 

Your lips are on mine suddenly, your hands cup my face. My hands nervously go to your waist as the kiss deepens, I feel your tongue graze mine gently, and I shudder. You pull away, staring into my eyes, my lips. You hold my face and I stare at you in awe. “I love you too.” You whisper and I can feel my grin getting wider.

“Really?” I ask you and you nod. 

“Since forever.” You say, leaning forward to kiss me again, I hold your face when we pull away. “You’re my person.” 

I smile again, pressing my lips to yours. You push your body onto mine, straddling my waist with your legs.  I wrap both my arms around your waist, moving slightly to lay you on your back. The rug to my van was an old shag carpet, but it was comfortable. You didn’t feel cold anymore. Your hands move under my shirt, I shudder at your touch, your soft hands. I move my lips to your neck, pulling the zipper down, kissing both hills of your breasts. You let out a soft sigh, your fingers curling through my hair as I cup one of your breasts, kissing in between them. I grip your jean clad thigh, hooking it tighter around my waist and grind against you. The friction plus the pressure causes a throaty moan to escape me and you sit up. You stare at me, your lips swollen from our kiss, and you unzip the hoodie, sliding it off of you and I watch as your hands to behind your back, unhooking your bra. The straps fall slightly down your shoulders and I watch as you shyly let the bra slip away from you. I lean back on my heels, my palms on your knee as my eyes scan your body. I’ve always imagined this; but this was better than what I had imagined. I lean forward between your legs, kissing you deeply. My lips go down to your neck, and I glance up at you, making sure everything was still okay before I did what I did. You lean back to get more comfortable, and I pull your nipple into my mouth. You let out a moan, which caused me to almost explode in my own jeans. The closest I’ve ever gone with a girl was feeling her up, this was brand new to me, and I could tell it was for you too. I wanted to taste all of you, I wanted to know what your sex tasted like, I wanted to know what would make you scream. I move my lips down to kiss your ribs, your naval and I snap the button of your jeans. You arch your hips, helping me pull them down and this is the first time I’m seeing you in your underwear. My fingers knead your thighs and I look into your eyes. 

“Can I taste you?”

Your face turns crimson, it made you look so much more beautiful, and you nod, biting your lip. “I’ve never done this before.” 

“You know I haven’t.” I laugh, and I stare at you as I move my palm to the top of your underwear. The fabric was damp, and I feel a smile toy at my lips, gently moving your underwear to the side. My hands shake a little as the tips of my fingers graze your clit, I watch as your head falls back, and a soft moan escapes you. I rub you gently, feeling your opening. I gently slide a finger into you and your back arches, I couldn’t believe how tight you felt. I scoot back to my stomach, wrapping my arms around your thighs, staring at your beautiful, beautiful pussy. You lean up on your elbows to look at me; and I flick my tongue out, gently kissing your clit. You gasp and something awakens inside me. You taste so good, so sweet, and I bury my face into your folds, devouring you. I didn’t even know if I was doing it right, but from the sounds you were making; I think I was doing okay. Your fingers pull my hair and I feel my dick twitch as you moan loudly. “Right there, baby.” You moan out, and I moan in response; you sounded so sexy, so breathless. 

I pull away to look up at you. “Like this?” I lick a long wet stripe from your hole to your clit, sucking gently. You tremble beneath me, your chest heaving with gasps and moans. 

“Oh…my…Eddie.” You moan. I groan in response, tasting all of you, sucking you until your moans get louder and I’m pretty positive you’re about to come. Your head falls back in pleasure, and a loud, hot, moan escapes your lungs and you’re coming in my mouth. I stick my tongue around your hole, feeling you clench, tasting your juices and gripping your thighs until you can’t take it anymore. It’s so intoxicating I don’t want to stop. Your eyes are closed as you settle your breathing, I sit back on my heels, wiping my face and smile at you. You sit up, grabbing the back of my head and kiss me. You moan against my mouth, and a groan escapes me when I feel your hand cup my erection over my jeans. You pull away from me, quickly undoing the button on my jeans and pulling them down past my legs. I see your eyes widen when I spring to life, and you smile.

You look up at me, your hands gently rub my thighs, my ass and I shudder under your touch. I move to my back, highly aware of how exposed I felt with your eyes scanning my body. I immediately feel shy, and I honestly couldn’t tell you why. You sense how nervous I am, and you crawl up my body. Your hand tickles my chest and you kiss me gently. I hold your waist, gripping your skin and you pull back to look at me. I swallow hard as you lean down to kiss my neck, making soft pecks along my chest, moving down to my abdomen. A moan escapes me when I feel your hands gently grab my cock, rubbing your soft hands over the velvety ness of it. I gasp when I feel your lips kiss the tip; I could tell you were nervous too, but I swear as soon as you took my whole length into your mouth, you knew exactly what to do. A broken moan escapes me, and you quickly pull your head back.

“I’m sorry…did I…”

“No, no.” I say breathlessly, grabbing your wrist. “That was really good, keep going.” 

Your mouth is on me again, and I groan, feeling your tongue swirl around my shaft, move down towards my balls. I moan loudly, my head falls back against the bottom of the high hat, which causes a humorous sound and I end up laughing while moaning. You throat me deeper and I hold your hair. I want to know what you feel like inside, I want to feel that beautiful pussy clench around my cock. I pull your head up to look at you.

“I wanna feel you.” I whisper. 

You sit back, smiling that beautiful smile. You nod, biting your lower lip. I scoot up, taking your face in my hands and kiss you deeply. I turn you around so you’re on your back, gently grazing my fingertips over your skin. I bite my bottom lip, staring at your naked body. You were so beautiful. I feel a blush rise to my cheeks as I stare at you, and you smile sweetly.

“You nervous?” You ask me and I nod.

“A little.”

“Me too.” You say, reaching up to cup my face as I hover above you. I smile into your palm and a thought crosses my mind. 

“Oh.” I lean back, go into my wallet, pulling out a condom. I tear it open with my teeth, staring at the rubber like it was a bomb. 

“I think it goes…” you sit up a little, taking the condom and sliding it down my shaft. I shudder but I’m equally embarrassed. 

“Pretty pathetic that I don’t know how to put a condom on.” I laugh awkwardly, leaning down to hover over you again. 

“You’re not pathetic. If you’re pathetic; I’m pathetic. I’ve never had an orgasm until you.” 

My eyes widen at your confession. “No way. Even when you play with yourself?” 

You shake your head. “I guess I didn’t do it right.” You laugh and smile at me. “Looks like we have to teach each other things.” 

I smirk, gently leaning down to kiss your lips. I rub your cheek, caresses your hair. “If it hurts, you tell me, okay? And I’ll stop.” 

You nod, I could feel you shaking. I was shaking too, but I wasn’t sure if it was nerves, excitement or both. You open your legs a little wider for me, and I kiss you gently, my hand palming your entrance and I pull my hand away to line myself up with you. I slowly push myself in, and a grunt escapes me, you let out a soft gasp and I feel you clench. 

“Am I hurting you?” I ask, panic in my voice as I stop pushing in.  

“No, it just stings a little. Keep going.” You whisper, gripping my forearms. I push myself in further and I hear you coo; I look at your face and you’re biting your lip. You were so fucking tight, so tight that it was starting to hurt me, and I didn’t know what to do next. I feel you roll your hips into mine and I gently pull myself out a little and move back in. You moan, and a throaty growl escapes me as I quicken the movements in my hips. You felt so good, and I wanted to go faster but I didn’t want to hurt you. 

“Faster, baby.” You moan, like you read my mind. I stare into your eyes, and you kiss me deeply, letting me know that it was okay. I move my hips faster, the sensation of the friction, plus the sounds that were coming from you were turning me into a wild fucking animal. “Ohhh…” 

I could feel my orgasm building in my belly, and once I feel your hands grab my ass to push me deeper into you, it was all over. We were both moaning so loud, and I honestly didn’t remember which way up. You gasp loudly, and I feel you clench around me. “Oh baby…I think I’m gonna come again…”

“Fuck…I’m close…” my head falls back in pleasure, and I slow my rhythm down, my hips bucking as I come into the condom, and you’re fucking screaming my name, clenching all around me. Your nails claw at my back and I’m groaning into your neck as I ride out the rest of my orgasm, and you gasp out beautiful, beautiful sounds that was music to my ears. 

I swallow back the lump in my throat as I lay my head in the crook of your neck. Your hands are in my hair, holding me to you. I look at you and you smile at me, kissing me so softly, sweetly. And at that moment, all was right in the world. 

Gareth had driven my car to Vermont, I couldn’t stomach the drive. I think I puked three times before getting in the car because I’m still having a hard time processing what we were doing and why we were going to Vermont. I think I chain smoked a whole pack of cigarettes the way there. I was texting with my sponsor the whole way there too, he was a good guy, making me feel better about myself on how it was normal to be feeling the way I did. I didn’t want to use, but I didn’t want to feel anything. He also suggested I reach out to you after the services, and I shut that down. I didn’t want to think about you, I just wanted to focus on the fucked-up fact I was about to bury the one man I considered a father. We pull up to the funeral home, it looked like a beautiful cottage. A large window overlooked a frozen lake. I get out of the car on shaky legs; I could feel Gareth’s eyes on me. 

I turn to look at him. “I’m fine.” 

“Don’t look it.” He mumbles. 

“Neither do you.” I slam the car door and we both walk up the stone steps into the funeral home. We enter the place, and I’m immediately overwhelmed by the aroma of floral arrangements I want to gag. We sign the guest book, and I have to pause in the double doorway when I see the shiney black opened casket. I don’t even see the people in the seats, or the people who have been in the music industry longer than I have. I just zero in on the box and Julie standing right next to it. She meets my eyes, and she’s already pushing her way through people to get to me. I’m falling into her, my forehead is resting against her small shoulder, I’m breathing in the smell of her shampoo and her Chanel perfume. She’s hugging me close, and I begin to weep. 

“Oh, my sweet boy…” She says gently in my ear.

“It doesn’t seem real, it’s not right…” I pull away to look at her, to glance at the casket. “It’s not okay.” The tears are hot on my cheeks, and I feel Gareth stiffen next to me as he tries to control his own tears. She kisses my cheek, taking my hand, leading me up to the casket. I stop when I see Nellie, she meets my eyes, and she’s immediately sobbing. I hug her to me, cupping the back of her head as she buries her face into my chest. She was a few years younger than me, and she always felt like a sister, and I immediately feel riddled with guilt that I spent so many years chasing a high when she would send me birthday cards from her kids, or birthday party invitations. Even when I wasn’t on tour, I would make up some excuse. I couldn’t do that anymore. No more excuses. 

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper to her, and there’s so many reasons behind that. Her fingers grip into my back and she nods against my chest. 

“Don’t disappear on me again, okay?” She pulls away to look at me. “The kids need their Uncle Eddie.” 

I swallow a sob, and nod, gently kissing the top of her head. I look over at the casket, and I slowly make my way over. He was dressed in his best blazer that he had custom made, a vintage Van Halen t shirt covers his chest underneath. His shaggy dirty blonde hair was styled neatly. I couldn’t look at his face. I just stared at his chest; my vision was blurring. I felt the similar ache in my belly when I thought of you, except you were still alive. Ted was dead.  I finally look at his face, and a sound escapes my lungs. I sound like a whimpering dog; I couldn’t control it, I just started to weep. I rest my head against the kneeling bench, feeling Julie’s arms wrap around me. I felt pathetic, crying like this, in front of all these people. Ted was the reason we got to where we were…Ted was also the reason that got me back to you. 

And I didn’t know how to keep going without him. 

I disassociated during the burial, I don’t remember who I spoke to, who I hugged. All I remember is coming back to my cabin with Gareth, neither one of us saying a word to each other. I had peeled off my suit jacket, kicked off my shoes and plopped on the chair in my kitchen. I lit up a cigarette, letting the smoke billow in my lungs. I stare up at my liquor cabinet, knowing that I had a half empty bottle of bourbon hidden in there. The chair skids against the floor as I get up, go into the cabinet, and pull the bottle down. I pull the cap off the bottle, staring at the brown liquid. My heart was racing, I could feel my ears pulsating as my thoughts were swimming in my brain.

You know where this can lead to. Ted’s voice echoes in my head. 

“Fuck off.” I whisper through my teeth. 

You’ve come so far. 

“FUCK OFF!” I scream, pitching the bottle against the wall next to my refrigerator and it shatters, the liquid spilling to the floor. I yell again, punching the wood of my cabinets until my knuckles bled. I slide to the floor; Gareth comes running in from the back bedroom.

“Jesus, Eddie…” He says quietly, his eyes scanning the broken glass, my bloody hand, and the tears streaming down my cheeks. 

“Did you know…the last time Ted was here, I was detoxing? Right on that couch.” I let out a chuckle, pointing out into the living room. “Unwillingly of course, or maybe willingly, I don’t fucking know. I was heading into the depths of madness at that point, but he had shown up. I was convinced you had sent these little demon creatures to come kill me or hurt him and somehow, he convinced me to get rid of my dope.” I laugh again, almost manically. “The last time that man was in my house, I was a complete fucking monster. I hated him, I hated him for making me go through the pain. I hated him because he cared about me so fucking much, he’d rather sit there and watch me cry and scream in pain. Why, man?” I look up at Gareth, my lips trembling. “Why did he care about me so much? After everything I had done. After who I became?”

“Eddie…” I could tell he’s lost for words. He slides down to the floor next to me, and I just stare at him. He pulls me by my shirt, pulling me into him. He cradles me like a baby, and I just sob into his chest. “You know why, dude. He loved you.”

I scoff, wiping the snot from my nose. “I was unlovable. And I fucking manipulated him so many times. I’m surprised he didn’t have a heart attack back then.”

“Eddie.” Gareth says sternly. “If you are blaming yourself for his death, you’re a bigger fucking idiot than I thought. Things like this just happen sometimes, man. Whether it’s natural, or unnatural. When I was so fucking at you when it got really bad, when I thought I was staring into the eyes of a person who murdered my brother…Ted would always tell me that he knew you were still in there. That you would come out of this, and look…you came out of it.”

“It’s not that simple, man.” I say through my teeth, my throat bobbing as I’m trying to stop from sobbing again. “Everyday I have to fight…I have to hold back the urge to go and use…and now…now I have all this love…all this love that has no place to go…he was a fucking dad to us, Gareth. And now he’s gone…he’s just…gone.” 

Gareth doesn’t say anything more, he just holds me tighter as I cry. 

Rabbit hole

Rabbit hole

Where did you go? 

Rabbit hole

Rabbit hole

Where did…

I haven’t showered in three days; Gareth left yesterday. 

I pace in my kitchen, already on my fourth cup of coffee, and it’s not even noon. 

My phone rings, I send it to voicemail, sending a reassuring text that I’m okay. 

I’m really not, but I don’t have a needle in my arm.

So, there’s that. 

It’s been a week; I finally showered. I dreamt of you last night. 

I grip the pen in my hand, flapping the composition notebook as I continue to pace in the living room. 

My therapist is here. 

I don’t say much. 

She looks afraid for me. 

Maybe, she should be.

She suggested anti-depressants. 

I said no, I numbed my feelings for too long, I had to pay the price and feel things without the help of a medicine. 

Dying seems better than this existence. 

Maybe I already died, and I’m just living in this vessel of a body that is rotten. 

Fuck, Eddie. That’s dark. 

I laugh to myself, continuing to pace. Looks like I don’t need the drugs to be an actual fucking madman. 

Mad hatter, too much tea

Mad hatter, look at me, look at me,

I’m a fucking disease. 

Every time I close my eyes, I see you. I see your smile, I hear your laugh, I feel your touch. 

What the fuck am I doing? 

Why am I standing here alone? 

I miss you. 

I miss him. 

No. No. No. 

Gareth is right. 

I can’t lose you. 

Not again. 

Not again. 

NOT AGAIN.

I take the keys to my truck, awkwardly pulling my boots on as I stumble out the door.

Looks like I’m going to Maine.

[mustainegf]

SO OBSESSED with how dave talks about his love of reading--like I just picture him grabbing small moments to have a coffee and read in between his hectic touring or recording schedules.

ok but imagine 90s dave going in a bookstore (since he is always mentioning that he likes to read and do lyric research) and he see you, you are just soooo small trying to get a book from the top shelf while the staff keep helping other customers. He loves to lend a helping hand to a pretty lady--and you are even more enchanting once he gets to really see your face. Being an experienced flirt at this point in his life he asks you about the book--you pick up a book for yourself every Monday just as a little treat. He starts to get a little anxious because you seem much more educated than him, so instead of mentioned the martial arts books he was going to pick up he lies and says he was looking for his favorite poet, who you love too. He is just SO a-flutter with your intelligent charisma that recognizes a piece of him that others don't take the time to see beyond the rockstar persona (maybe it's because you don't even recognize him!). He definitely returns the next week to try and catch you again and take things to the next level--he just happens to have a book you would love... but you have to go to his apartment to get it. oh, and it just happens to be on his nightstand.

I SCREAMED WHEN I SWEAR THIS REQ!??? HOLY SHIT THIS IS SOME OF THE BEST STUFF IVE EVER GOTTEN I LOVE THE DETAILS

PART 2?????

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 ¹⁹⁹⁶

𝐆𝐎 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐

Monday again, a drizzly afternoon diagonally opposite LA's downtown area, both pretty anti-climactic, and I was hunting for something more. This small, inconspicuous bookstore, whose entrance is slightly concealed from the rest of the city.

It was that kind of place where I could get lost on shelves, trying to look through worlds inside pages to find inspiration for new lyrics, and maybe even learn something new about myself. Not that I was ever very open to it.

I loved the smell of books and the quiet, plus the feeling of anonymity, a great gift this place had given me. No paparazzi, no screaming fans, just me, books, and my thoughts.

Exactly how I liked it.

I pushed open the door, a soft tinkle of a bell at the entrance. That familiar smell of aged paper and polished wood grabbed me once again, and things were calm.

I walked back to where they have a small section, wanting to find a book or two on martial arts before I went on to search for inspiration.

Turning the corner, I came face to face with her.

She was tiptoeing, her fingers barely brushing the top shelf to reach a book. Petite, nearly delicate, with long hair down her shoulders. Her fingers were hardly brushing against the spine of the book she was trying to retrieve.

No one in the bookstore staff seemed to be noticing her struggle.

I held my breath for a second, enthralled by the image of her.

I finally stepped up to her with a smirk playing on the corners of my lips. "Need some help with that?" I asked, the silence broken by my voice.

She turned to look at me, her eyes grew wide with surprise. They were an exceptionally striking shade, very intelligent and knowing, as if they could see right through me.

She responded, her voice soft and melodious, "Oh, um, yes please." Her cheeks went pink, like early lilacs.

I reached up and easily grabbed the book she was after.

Our fingers brushed briefly as I handed it over to her, and a jolt of warmth went through me. "Here you go," I said, trying to maintain my cool.

"Thank you," she said, smiling up at me. Her smile was warm and real. "I pick up a new book every Monday as a little treat for myself, normally I don’t have this much trouble..." she tried her best to shrug it off, averting her gaze.

Something about her seemed interesting. She didn't seem like the kind of women that had been filling my head lately, she was classier, much more thoughtful.

"That does sound like a lovely tradition," I said, nodding at the book she held in her hand. It was some volume of classic poetry or other.

She nodded. "It helps me after a long day. There's something so soothing about a good book."

I felt a slight bit of anxiety as I realized I wanted to impress her, to let her know that there was more in me than met the eye, than just that of some rockstar persona everyone else seemed to know.

I swallowed hard and said the first thing that came into my head. "I was actually looking for my favorite poet, too." Completely disregarding the martial arts book I was searching for.

She lit up with interest. "No way, really? Who's your favorite?"

"Rainer Maria Rilke," I lied, hoping she wouldn't see through me. IT was a name I knew from a short class I took in Highschool. Though, I had been looking for some books on martial arts, but I didn't want to appear shallow or uneducated to her.

She beamed at me, clearly pleased. "Rilke is wonderful! His stuff is so well done. What poems do you like the best?"

I drew a blank as I tried to remember something, anything, about Rilke from my junior writing class. "Uh, well, definitely one of my favorites is 'The Panther.' The imagery is rich, and it does play on that sense of containment."

She nodded vigorously. "Yes, exactly! I love how he used the panther as such a perfect metaphor. So beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time."

God, the way she spoke was like butter, slipping through the cracks of my mind. She was so passionate about the poetry, that my knowledge from Highschool was slowly resurfacing.

The more we talked, the more engrained I became, smart, articulate, impassioned about this literature.

She seemed not to recognize me at all, and that was quite refreshing. It allowed me to be just Dave, the guy who enjoyed books, instead of Dave Mustaine, the Megadeth frontman. I wanted to see her again, to get to know her better. I craved it.

The following Monday, I went again to the old bookstore to look for her. I had brought with me a manuscript on which I thought she would take interest in, but I did not wish to be too obvious.

I pottered around the shop in a good feign of browsing, with my glance popping out every few seconds to await her entry through the door.

There she finally was, as lovely as she had been the first time that I ever saw her. She came back to the poetry section, and I went in, taking a deep breath.

"Hi," I said, trying to sound very casual.

She looked up and smiled warmly. "Hi! Nice to see you again."

I felt relieved and elated. "You too. I actually, uh, brought a book I thought you would like..”

Her eyes widened in surprise and delight. "Really? What is it?"

I handed her the book, a collection of poems by Pablo Neruda, a book Id bought at a separate shop only days earlier. "I thought you might like this. Nerudas stuff is pretty good, I had it around my house for a couple years, so I thought you might be interested."

She took the book from me again, and my fingers touched hers. "Thanks so much, Dave. This is really sweet of you."

I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. "No problem. I figured you'd like it."

I knew I had to make a move as that afternoon was wearing away. "You know," I said, feigning indifference, "I have another book that I think you would love. But It's back at my place."

Those sparkling eyes took an interest. "Oh? What book is that?"

"A rare edition of Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet."

She paused a second, then smiled. "I'd love to see it."

[axel-skz]

Your behaviour is so…UGHH

A/N: this is my first post. I’m kind of just writing it because I really want something super angsty right now 💀 (I’m listening to music and ive shuffled all of stray kids music and drive just came on LMAO)

Summery: Chan had been working late for a while but today was important, he missed Y/Ns birthday.

Bang chan x Gender neutral reader

Chan had been late again. All week he had worked late but you expected that he would atleast be home for your birthday. You had a party and you had reminded him atleast 12 hundred times. He was your most important guest. He had reassured you again and again that he would be there.

You had been looking forward to today for so long. You tried never to get in the way of your boyfriends work because you knew how important it was to him.

But in your heart, you felt it when he was away a lot.

Secretly in your mind, today would be special because you had a legitimate reason for him to be there. You would have a day to show off your favourite person in the world.

But it didn’t happen. As every hour ticked by, your heart broke a little more. You spent the party constantly glancing at the clock. Most of your friends didn’t mention him not being there. Although you had expressed your excitement to them multiple times in the days before.

The looks of pity felt as though they were burning your resolve ever so slowly.

When everyone left, you sat in the middle of your room on the floor, staring at the wall of the now very messy room. Tears pouring down your face.

It felt like you were alone in this relationship. You tried your best to be there at every one of his milestones. Every time he had an important event or just his birthdays. Not only for him but all the members.

It took so much of you to go to award shows. An event where you both had to pretend you didn’t know each other outside of work. But you were there. Because he was. Moral support.

You sat there for a while with no sense of time until your phone buzzed.

A tiny part of you hoped that it was him.

It wouldn’t do much now though would it?

It was your most consistent friend, pinterest. You let out a strangled laugh. Then you took a breath and started to clean everything. Once that was done, you started to pack.

Enough was enough.

It was very late into the night when you got done with all of this.

As you finished clearing the apartment of your things, you heard the front door unlock. The sheer amount of panic that started to course through you was terrifying.

You froze for a second when you heard steps approaching you.

He opened the bedroom door while looking at his phone.

‘Hey baby, you still up? Its- uh, you going somewhere?’ He said as he noticed your bags.

‘I’m going away… for a while…’ You said while looking down.

He started to look worried, ‘away? Away where? How long’s a while? Why do you need to go?’ He put the stuff he was holding on a side table.

‘Chan, I need to leave. I can’t be here. Its too much for me to constantly feel like I’m waiting for you,’ you hurried with gathering the last of your things.

‘What? Waiting for me…? Why? What happened?’ He started walking over to you but you backed up. He stopped, instantly with a look of hurt.

‘Have you seen the date?’ With that, his face dropped. He nervously laughed.

‘No no no, that’s not today, its not-’ he took his phone out and saw the date. He was stunned. ‘I’m so sorry, I could’ve sworn your birthday was tomorrow…I was too distracted all day to be able to get to my phone.’

You looked so hurt, ‘now you won’t have to worry about remembering things. Things that aren’t as important. I won’t bother you with anything.’

You grabbed your things and made a move to the door but he moved to block you.

‘It is important! I was just really distracted. I had so much going on in my mind that I lost track of time. I swear, I’ll make it up to you, just don’t leave,’ he pleaded.

‘You still have to make up for the last 3 dates you missed. What? Should I tack this onto the list? But also be mindful because you will take on 3 more projects at the start of the next week.’ You couldn’t do it anymore. It was constantly one thing after another. You constantly felt like the bad guy but you wanted to be supportive and he said he would try. But then he didn’t. He always had a reason not to. And you couldn’t do it anymore.

‘You know I’m not doing it on purpose. It’s just part of my work,’ he looked so worn out, you had to look away otherwise you would give up.

‘I can’t do this right now. And from the looks of things, you can’t either. Trying just isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to be anywhere but here.’

‘Y/N please… I can try harder… I’ll find a way… just… don’t leave…’ his voice breaking.

‘If you care about me even a little, don’t say anything else. Just let me go. Atleast for a bit. I need to do this,’ you started to leave again but he didn’t stop you. He stood there, still. Looking at the floor.

And you left. Not knowing what would happen next. When or if you would even see him again.

Note: please remember to like or reblog (I’m not too sure how tumblr works lmao)

Gimme suggestions on prompts you might want :)

Part 2

[I’ve tried to look over it but if there’s anything that isn’t gender neutral about the reader, lemme know and I’ll fix it]

[dantesunbreaker]

Message Sent

Papa Emeritus IV X Transmale Reader

Copia must leave for a few days after you both finally confess your feelings for each other. But Copia is a bit of an idiot when it comes to these sorts of things and finds a way to mess things up the moment he returns.

Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort TW: mentions of depression. 3.5K words

GIF by ask-papa-iv

“It will only be for a few days, tesoro,” Copia tries to make light of the situation, arms circling tight around you. “Then I will once more be home...and I can perhaps take you to that new place down by the waterfront?”

You’ve been the assistant to Papa Emeritus IV since you joined the ministry, since back to his days as a Cardinal. All those years harboring a silent crush for the older man. Unaware of the returned feelings Copia also shared. But of course, the day you both finally admit to the feelings is the night before he leaves for a special one off show.

“I know, I know,” you sigh, sagging back into Copia’s embrace. “Should have thought about it, I knew you had this show coming up.” There is a lighter tone to your voice as you chuckle to yourself. Of course you knew he would be leaving, you made his schedule. Still, the timing felt right to express your feelings. “Neither one of us has been very good at timing this kind of stuff.”

Nodding in agreement, Copia nuzzles against your neck, wanting to commit your scent to memory before he leaves. Your night ends with a lingering yet shy, soft kiss on the lips before you both depart to your own separate chambers. Come morning, Copia and his ghouls are gone, leaving you to keep yourself busy with your shared workload in his absence. 

Throughout the day you share texts as you usually would, recounting the random mundane details of each other's day. But when it becomes late in the night, just before you know Copia is getting ready to get on stage, you send a text with a bit more passion. I miss you already, C... I can’t wait to be back in your arms. Maybe even your bed? You set your phone down beside the bed, trying to ignore the nagging feeling of wanting to check for a response every fifteen seconds. But it never comes.

When the sun comes up the next morning you awake to zero notifications. Confused, you open up your texts and stare at your last text to Copia. Did you say something wrong? Were you going too fast? Maybe you made him too flustered. Maybe you caused too much of a distraction before the show. You bite back the anxiety and you push those thoughts to the back of your mind for the rest of the day. 

But the next couple of days pass with complete silence from Copia’s end. You tell yourself that he is a busy man, that he just forgot or didn’t have time to get back to you due to how much he has on his plate. And you convince yourself of this up until the morning after his late night return. 

As you approach Copia’s office, as you do every morning, with two steaming cups of coffee in hand and file folder tucked under your arm, you swear you hear sounds coming from just beyond the door. Did Copia have a meeting you were unaware of? Without losing grip on either coffee, you manage to pull the heavy double doors of the office open and step into the room...only to pause midstep the moment you are through the threshold. 

Breath catching in your throat, you nearly drop both coffees and the folder. Papa sits behind his desk, a Sister of Sin all but leaning into his lap as their lips are locked in what appears to be a heated kiss. It hits like a knife to the heart, leaving you to gasp at the sudden pain. One of them must hear your gasp, for a moment later they are pulling from each other. The sister turns with a sheepish look on her face, cheeks flushed red as she lets out a barely audible apology before skittering out of the room. 

“Ah, good morning fratello,” Copia greets a bit breathless, seeming ready to act as if you did not just walk in on him with another sibling. “Do you have some papers for me?”

Numb, all you can do is nod as you take the few steps necessary to place the coffees to the side of his desk, tossing the folder in front of him. When Copia doesn’t even look up, you can feel pieces of your heart shatter. Was it all just a dream? Some cruel joke? You stand there unmoving, unsure what to think of things.

“Do you plan to stand there all day, or are you going to get some work done today?” There is a teasing hint to Copia’s voice as he finally looks up at you. And it’s enough to make your stomach churn. 

Tears sting your eyes, but you fight them back. Of course, this is just some sick little game to him isn’t it? The shatter is complete, your heart crumbling to pieces across the hardwood floor of his office.

“Excuse me, I have to go,” your voice is tight as you turn back towards the door, needing to escape before the waterworks come.

“Wait!”

You don’t know why you pause, holding onto some feeble sense of hope. But you hear Copia rise from his chair and cross around to the opposite side of his desk just behind you. Unable to face him without the tears falling, you keep your back to him.

“Are you sick? You just got here,” the sudden concern to Copia’s voice makes you feel ill. Could he really not see?

“No, Papa, I am not sick,” you feel small, counting the lines on the floor as your vision begins to blur as the tears begin as a small dribble. “I just... I can’t stay right now.”

The quick laugh behind you causes you to flinch.

“Caro, are you jealous?”

Suddenly, the dam breaks. And forth flows not only pain and anguish, but the undeniable anger you feel at both Copia and yourself. How dare he?

"Yes, I am jealous!" Your voice breaks with each word, the tears you tried so hard to hold back running forth quick as a river current. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Does that make you happy? Yes Papa, you really had me going there.” The tone of your voice is near hysteric as your body begins to tremble. “For a moment, a soft fleeting moment, I actually believed that there was something special between us. That someone like me could actually matter to someone like you.” 

Barely able to see through the tears in your eyes, you take a blind step forward towards your escape.

“I can see now that I’ve been a fool.”

“Fratell- ” a hand closes around your wrist in a bruising grip. Just inches shy of the door.

“Don’t touch me!” The words are spit out like venom as you give a firm tug of your arm. It burns. The painful drag of skin on skin.

The hold on your wrist gently loosens, allowing you to pull your arm free without ever having to take a look back at the man who still held the pieces of your broken heart. Footsteps follow you as you sprint down the halls. Copia calls your name over and over, but you run until the sound is barely but a soft whisper in your ear.

When your back finally hits the inside of the door to your bedroom, the tears stop but the heartbreaking pain begins. It feels as though you are suddenly full of cement as you take the heavy steps necessary to reach your bed. Each small movement takes every ounce of energy in your body until you reach a distance at which you can simply let yourself fall forward. Sinking into the inviting warmth of the pile of blankets and plushies that is your bed for once does little to ease your woes away. 

Burying your face into the nearest pillow, you scream until your voice is hoarse and there is a deep burning ache in your throat. It is as though a deep hole now lies where your heart should be. A cold black pit that spreads out like a spider’s web throughout your chest. Have you truly been so blind this entire time? 

How could you go on living? How could you go on as if nothing ever happened? As if the head of the church hadn’t snuffed out what glimmer of joy was left in your heart. Tears once more sting your eyes at the thought of having to face your Siblings of Sin. The questions they will have. And... of course how will you be able to attend Black Mass without falling apart? Simple. You wouldn’t.

For a week you are unable to bring yourself to leave your room, wallowing in your bed and seeking the comfort of solitude. Not that you remain entirely alone. Some of the ghouls find themselves in your quarters at odd hours of the day, offering what solace they can. Cirrus and Cumulus come most evenings to ensure you have eaten at least once each day and to wrap you in the comfort of their cuddles. On a few occasions Mountain joins the pile, bringing offerings of his own special blend of tea in hopes to ease your sorrow. There is never any mention of Papa. Rumors spread fast around the Abbey. Your feelings for Papa are certainly not a well kept secret. Whispers of His Unholiness having been seen with a Sister of Sin however have circulated throughout the congregation. It would be more a surprise to the other siblings if you had not taken reprieve in your own chambers. 

But the ghouls do their best to distract you from the hurt. They also do their part in keeping prying eyes and questions away. Each ghoul, even Dewdrop, has some excuse for your whereabouts ready at the tip of their tongue if ever Papa approaches with questions of your absence. Anything to keep him away. Though you suspect you are far from his concerns of late. Probably too busy wrapped up in a certain new sister.

But as each day goes on, you find it easier and easier to ignore the darkness at the center of your heart. Sure, it is still there. You aren’t sure if it ever truly will fade away. With time though, the pain fades to a dull ache that doesn't always hammer to the front of your attention. You start with small simple tasks just around your room, testing your limits, before you decide to take that first step out of your room. When the world doesn’t immediately come crashing down, you take that as your sign to work back up to resuming some of your sibling duties. You are sure Sister Imperator has not been pleased at your absence, or more importantly your lack of contribution.

While you still refuse to go back to your duties as Copia’s assistant just yet, you do find other ways to remain helpful. Enough that Sister won’t come chasing you down for a lecture about doing your part for the ministry. You start by helping in the kitchen, knowing the staff there were always eager for a helping hand when there were so many mouths to feed. And well, you know it is a place a certain Papa did not frequent often. It was a miracle the man remembered to eat most days with how consumed he would become in his work. It’s why you are always punctual with delivering a warm meal to his office each day... Or at least, you were. You aren’t sure if things will ever return to that state of normal.

It’s nearly three weeks after the incident before things finally come to an unfortunate head, when you finally have to face reality. You’re walking down the hall, eyes adrift  unfocused as your mind floats away. But out of the corner of your eye you catch a flash of familiar black and white. By the time it registers in your brain, it’s too late. Still.. you consider making a break for it.

“Fratello, wait!” 

A heavy sigh passes through your lips, eyes closing tight as you focus on keeping yourself calm. You can do this. It’s time to face your problems head on.

“What do you want, Papa?” You spin on your heels so fast it makes your head spin, Copia’s official title emphasized with clear disdain.

“Please, caro, just hear me out,” Copia sounds so broken as he keeps a hand outstretched towards you. Sorrow clouding dual colored eyes. He is giving you the choice and space to refuse him, unlike your last encounter.

There is a slight tremble to your bottom lip, too afraid that your words were going to fail you. With eyes trained on the scuffs along Copia’s shoes, you silently place your hand into his. You aren’t sure you are actually ready to face whatever is to come, but you are tired of the unresolved turmoil looming over you. This is a necessary step. Sensing your apprehension, Copia lets out one of his signature soft cooing sounds that he knows you have always loved. He hopes that perhaps you still do. Another gloved hand joins the other, both of Copia’s hands now clasped around your one as he takes a tentative step forward in hopes that you will follow suit.

Without a sound, you allow Copia to slowly lead you down the corridor into his office. Once the door shuts behind you, he releases your hand and steps away to give you space. It gives you a sense of security. You aren’t a caged animal in this situation. You suppose that is his intention. 

Sad, tired eyes gaze up at you as Copia sags heavily into his chair. He looks as though he has aged considerably within the few short weeks since you had last seen him. The wrinkles along his forehead are more pronounced, the bags under his eyes plump and heavy, and it seems a frown has nearly been etched into the corners of his lips. For lack of better terms, he looked like shit. But you reign in the sympathy that wants to wash over you. You steel your eyes and wait for Copia to explain himself.

Copia seems to crumble beneath the intensity of your glare, dropping his eyes to his lap where he nervously wrings his hands.

“I am truly sorry for how I hurt you, caro,” Copia begins, wincing at the bark of a laugh you give at his words. But he remains undeterred. “There is no excuse for my actions. But please know that I deeply regret them.”

“Then why do it in the first place?” You take a daring step closer, this time it is almost as if you are the one cornering him. “If you didn’t want to hurt me, why did you lead me on? Why did you.. Why did you flaunt some sister in front of my eyes when my feelings were clear towards you?”

But all Copia can do is gape at you like a fish out of water, struggling to string together a coherent train of thought under your scrutiny. You are keenly aware of the tears forming in his eyes. Through soft sniffles, Copia tries in vain to keep them from falling. But soon enough thin rivers of black bleed into the white of his paints.

“Because your Papa is but a fool,” he is reaching into his pockets, fumbling to pull out his phone and set it on the desk towards you, screen face up at full brightness. He drops his head into his hands with a pitiful whine. “You see, I thought it was you who had been ignoring me during my absence.”

Wait... What?

In your haste you nearly stumble over your own feet as you step closer to the desk, leaning over the vintage oak to gaze at the small screen. The phone was open to the text stream between you and Copia. Your last message, exactly as you remember it, glares back up at you as if to mock you. But you notice something as you look closer. A picture of Copia in full robes and mitre behind a stage is attached, a text message accompanying it. I miss you too amore mio! I would love nothing more than to have you in my bed... so we may come together, eh? Tell me..will you be thinking of your Papa tonight while alone in your bed tonight? But... Copia hasn’t left the Abbey since his return weeks ago? It must be from...

“You didn’t press send,” you reach down, touching the screen and feel the soft vibration of your phone in your pocket in response. A semi soft gentleness has wormed its way back into your voice.

“Si..” 

Things begin to come together, your mind tying the crimson strings of your mental conspiracy board to connect the dots. You spent all that time waiting for a response... but Copia thought he was doing the same?

“So,” you take a step closer, taking note of the way eyes ever so slightly flick up to watch you between gloved fingers. "You thought I was giving you the cold shoulder the whole time you were gone. And you, what? Thought that seeing you with someone else was going to have me crawling to you?"

Copia lets out a pained noise, head sinking lower. 

"No, maybe, I'm not sure what I thought," his voice is thick, his shoulders visibly trembling. When he brings himself to look back up at you, his paint is a marbled mess of gray. "I thought if I pretended to be interested in a sister th...that you would realize what you were missing. That you would fight to win me over... But I'm a fool, and instead I hurt you and pushed you away."

"Yes," you step even closer, hand reaching out towards Copia as wet eyes watch your every move. "You are a fool," a whimper leaves Copia, eyes closing as your hand drops to run through his fluffy locks. "But... I would still like for you to be my fool."

Hands are reaching out for the one still at your side, clutching at it as if it were a lifeline. Eyes still closed, Copia pulls until the back of your hand rests against his moist cheek. You don’t mind the way paint already begins to rub off onto your skin.

“Per favore. Mi dispiace. Mi dispiace,” Copia slips from his chair, dropping to his knees as he drags his eyes up the length of your body until your gazes meet. “Per favore, I want to be your fool. Let me be your fool, caro. I’ll do anything. Per favore.”

Tears still stream down Copia’s cheeks, snot dribbling from his nose and making a sticky wet mess of his upper lip. He looks like a mess. Nothing will ever take back the hurt seeing Copia with someone else caused, the weeks of anguish and isolation it caused you to suffer. But it doesn’t mean you can’t stitch the wounds closed, letting them scar over and heal into something new. A single tear rolls down your cheek, landing on the tip of Copia’s nose.

Pulling your hand from Copia, shushing him in a soothing tone when he whimpers, you move to cup both his cheeks. Tilting his head up, you search his eyes for the answers you need. Sadness and regret oozes out just as heavy as the tears still dripping down his face. That is all you need to see to decide if you can try and work past this.

“What you did, it hurt me C. Hey, I need you to look at me,” you grab ahold of Copia’s chin when he tries to turn away in shame. “You can’t go back and fix that. But, you can learn from it and fight to keep from making the same mistakes. I am giving you a second chance, putting my heart back on the line. Please, don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t! I won’t, prometto!” Copia surges forward, arms wrapping around you to hold you close. “Let me prove myself. I’m only for you, amore. Only for you.”

You lower yourself to your own knees, pulling Copia into your chest as he continues to give soft wheezing sniffles. Together you rest there until his breathing has calmed and a comfortable silence settles over the room.

“C..can I kiss you, caro?” Copia asks in a semi shaky voice after much time has passed.

With a chuckle, you pull a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away the snot and slobber from his upper lip. Only then do you smile, giving a nod as you lean in. The press of your lips together is soft and delicate. It in itself is almost like an apology as Copia eases into pulling you to him. You melt into his touch. And you think that with time, you can repair this blossoming relationship.

[superaznchick]

im usually on this website for a goofy silly time but im being stalked and harassed by my birth mother

it's scary and i dont know what to do, i made it very clear that i never wanted to see her again and she keeps showing up at my house and ringing the doorbell over and over again and standing waiting around

she waited for 2+ hours for me to come home on Sunday and when we got home she waited around for another hour constantly ringing the doorbell and then she mumbled stuff at me into our doorbell (which as a camera) and claiming that she'll never come back again and told me to go have a good life

but she came back again today during the workday today and was just standing there ringing the doorbell again and again

i called her and told her to never come back that i never wanted to see her again

i already called the non-emergency police line on sunday but they came too late they didnt come until over an hour after i called because she wasn't actively breaking in or doing anything that would require me to call 911 so instead i got the slower response from the officers

i dont know what to do but i know for a FACT that that woman does not respect me as a human. she does not see me as human, she belives she has righteous ownership over me as her property

i know she is stubborn and i know she will never respect my space

if she comes back again im going to need to file a restraining order and press charges for trespassing

this is actually insane i dont know if anyone out there understands this feeling or is even willing to imagine but my anxiety has been through the roof the last few days i feel like nobody cares or wants to care because it's "not so bad" but ive had a lifetime of this woman acting this way

acting entitled to me, treating me as sub-human, not listening to anything i say and feeling like she has a god-given right to access me in any way she wants and throwing a tantrum when i say no

she's a monster to me it makes me feel insane and crazy that i can't get a simple "no" respected. she would never treat any other person this way, she treats me this way because she believes she can. it's sick, it's twisted, it's evil

luckily my husband is on my side and it's so unfair to him because it affects him too, she was here in the middle of a workday and it's disruptive to his work, he has a high pressure job and it's not fair to him that he has to deal with this and i feel so bad

im just so angry, im so infuriated. im fucking 30 years old and i still have to deal with this shit, it's insane. no matter what i do no matter how i do it i'll never be more than her little plaything that she can come throw around whenever she feels like

i hate her and i never want to see her again. my house doesn't even feel safe anymore my walks dont feel safe she literally followed me today

i came home from a walk and she rang the doorbell LITERALLY less than 30 seconds later because she STALKED me and FOLLOWED me and kept violating my boundaries despite there being CLEAR indication that I DONT WANT TO SEE HER

she's literally evil. she knows that she's doing. she parked her car blocks away because she KNOWS. she KNOWS that we'd recognize her car and she PURPOSELY PARKED IT far away enough so we wont see it.

she's not some harmless old lady she's smart and conniving. and that's why im exasperated. i feel like no one will believe me because "oh that's your mom" "how can you say that about your mom" but my soul has been screaming for the last 3 decades. my subconscious remembers everything my nervous system explodes when she's here even when she sends me a text it spikes my cortisol. all the evidence is there but people just dont understand

please if you're reading this please beg the universe that she'll leave me alone. that's all i want, i swear, i'd seriously want for nothing more, i dont want money i dont want fame i dont want success i dont care!!!! i just want to be left in peace, i want to live out the rest of my life in peace away from this monster, please tell the universe, tell the algorithm, tell god, tell the divine, please help me manifest her absence from my life. please tell whoever's running the server to keep that woman away from me im begging. please please please

[fangirlingatstuff]

Ik you said you dont normally do nod x reader but if you ever have the chance or want to, can you do one where reader is very easily flustered. Set before their dating where hes super flirty and cocky and all that fun stuff just to see her blush and get nervous. Don’t feel pressured to answer tysm!!

Of course!

Out of Reach

Nod x Reader

—

“Nod, quit it!” You shouted as you jumped onto your tippy-toes, swinging your hand up at the knapsack he held above your head.

“Aw, come on, Y/n,” he grinned, raising his arm higher. “You can jump higher than that!”

You groaned loudly and tried to pull his arm down lower. “I need that to take notes or Ronin’s going to kill me,” you said while jumping again, trying to shove him over.

“What? Nah,” Nod scoffed and snorted, waving you off. “He wouldn’t get mad at you, you’re too cute.” With that he winked and switched the bag to his other hand.

Your eyes widened and your face flushed pink, your brain buffering over what he just said, giving him time to push you out of the way.

“Wha-wait, NOD!”

He laughed and waved the bag over his hand looking back at you, “Catch me if you can!”

You groaned and chased after him.

“No fair!” You shouted.

“Oh come on, girl, it’s too easy!” Nod cackled, jumping out of the way as you dove.

“Just give it back!” You swiped for it again.

“Oop-” he dodged and raised your bag over your head again. “Awwwww, whats the matter?” He grinned, “Can’t reach?”

“Nod, I swear!” You huffed. “I will climb you!”

“I’d like to see you try,” he smirked.

“You asked for it!”

“Huh-wait-ACK!”

You gave yourself a running start before tackling Nod to the ground, toppling the both of you over.

“Give it back!”

“Never!”

The two of you rolled on the ground as you scrambled for the bag in his hand. Nod kept it just out of reach, but he didn’t expect you to wriggle your way out of every way he tried to keep you back. At one point, his arm was wrapped around your waist while he tried to pull you away from grabbing your bag back.

Finally, you shoved his head away and leapt for the bag, snatching it from him.

“Aha!” You sat up immediately. “Gotchya!”

Nod huffed and propped himself up on his elbows. His eyes flicked across your face, a smile forming on his own. He couldn’t help it, not when you were positively beaming.

He raised a brow and smirked, resting his chin on his fist. “You know, if you wanted me to hold you, you could’ve just asked.”

Your face fell again, eyes widening. What was he—

Oh. Oh.

Your cheeks started to burn furiously as you realized the compromising position you had just been in. And you had just given him the perfect opportunity to tease you relentlessly.

“Yoink!”

One second, you had your bag in your hands, the next, Nod is running off with in his grubby hands.

Blush forgotten, you smack the floor and yell after him, “NOD!!”

Once again, you were chasing after him, jumping and swiping at the bag he held over your head as he laughed at your misfortune. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

—

@kbokhara sorry this took so long! Ive been in a lull of inspiration as of late

Hope you enjoy!

[neptunesailing]

PING JUMPSCARE anyway your art is amazing i love your new hiiai piece please talk about the design more if you want, i love hearing people yap about their design elements and the process to get to the final idea. (also, i really like ghosty sorta things and this certainly feels pretty ethereal! did you have a story idea behind it that perhaps i caught upon?)

HII THANK YOUUU!!!!! IM GRINNING LIKE A MANIAC RN DONT MIND MEEE teehee but YEYSSYEYSEYSEYYSE tysm for asking abotu the designnnn augh i loooove designing things its so fun to me!!! putting this under a cut because WOW i went crazy

i had a Vision for this design it was (as i put it to a friend) a "drowned love-struck sailor but also a guy that seems like he Lives at the beach but he's so ethereal you SWEAR he's a mermaid or something". like sirens and sailors but more emphasis on the sailor part

here's my moodboard/reference board!! i knew i wanted puffy sleeves and super flowy fabric but i wasn't sure what Else to add so i went to pinterest (of course) and saw like the fishnets and the pearls and ya i went insane. i didnt end up adding any pearls or as many ruffles in the final design but i think the whole beach/ocean aesthetic got across pretty well!!

for colors: the only thing i had in my head was WHITE FLOWY SHIRT because i love drawing them and it just Fits the vibe i was going for. the blue gradient on the sleeves makes me think of drowning? like being in the ocean for so long that blue is just a Part of you now even though that doesn't really happen its the VIBE of it okay. being engulfed by blue being engulfed by the sea nd you're drowning..... aughh. also the collar is a type of scallop collar because i wanted it to be different from a normal white button-up okay. a lot of my design process is Is This Cool and How Can This Be "Functional" (either in design [adding color or shape] or use [actual function])

there's also the long sash for more color and more flowy action!! and those pants are also supposed to be loose and flowy you just. dont see them in the final piece lol.

another thing about the colors: i tried to contrast from the blues i was putting in the sleeves and the sash with the warm browns that you can see in the net shirt and the ribbons on the sleeves and the net-like accessory on the left leg and the addition of nets Really adds to the whole theme that Deep Into You has going on of being "drawn in to the point of drowning" and the whole sailor thing too

couple notes: the net shirt would be like a tank top and i originally was thinking of having sandals for the shoe choice instead of what i have now and honestly now that im thinking about it again sandals Would be cool. but for an enstars outfit that they have to dance in? those shoes are fine actually

about the jewelry: i added the star clip a little late but it's supposed to act as a larger version of a tie clip? or like a brooch but with More stuff on it. also YES the earrings are mussel shells (i didn't know it was a mussel shell when i drew it i was referencing just a shell i had on hand) but aughh like mussel shells have so many pretty colors in them theyre like iridescent and i wasn't able to put that much detail in them at such a scale which is sad but its ok i think it still turned out really beautiful... i should draw shells more.

anyway thank you so much for sending this ask!! i dont really have much of a story behind this other than listening to the one minute clip we have of deep into you on loop for actual hours over the course of three(?) days but i might make a story.... ive been thinking about it... hope this is actually readable i wrote so much hahah but yes i am crazy and i love yapping about my design process and choices <3

[prefixerism]

and here's another day of brie drawing kenny and pablo instead of her already existing ideas for the other kids 😌

(BTW this is gonna be a bit weirdly formatted, thats just how unorganized I am even with blogs HSHAH.. i'm just taking every single doodle I got)

i tried doodling w the broken pen.. (it was hell trying to erase the stray lines cuz it does that when its broken apparently 😭)

this is how I draw pablo sometimes..(when im not sticking to canon much) so atp its my own au i suppose 😭

ah yes.. the classic phrase..

lately ive been investing my time and making up more stuff abt them, especially on how they met and what their overall dynamic is like cuz come on I cant just make up a pairing without making it interesting or make sense at least!! so ill sometimes make like.. little comics of them interacting (n i have an idea for one and its them practicing together and all.,, ill work on that soon..) like to me they have the vibes of a duo from a coming-of-age movie

brie after drawing kenny and pablo even though she had another backyard kid in mind.. (i got smth with lisa and annie later)

lul ipad kid

i know everyones eyes also became a bit bigger and beady but i swear it looks sillier on pablo since im so used to his eyes just being =)

And some extra stuff that i drew a long time ago and forgot to post ova here oopsie!

yk when someone remembers a small thing abt you even though you've mentioned it rarely... its the sweetest thing ever

DANTEE hes so silly im ngl hes starting to become one of my faves

ocs.. ill possibly post about them sooner..

translate:

In the song of the waves

I found a rumour of light

Through a song of seagulls

I knew that you were there

song: Soledad y el Mar

these were supposed to go hard asf but it was unfortunately the same time I randomly got burnt out for no reason💔

[certified-sleep-deprived]

Originally posted: Oct 5 2022

Anonymous asks:

Hi! If your still taking requests…

I'd like an Ink Bendy x Male reader, but with Bendy as the bottom? Thanks for the time, cheers

(yep I still do requests! Hope you enjoy! I'm not too good at writing MxM but I made it work the best I could. Also yes the blue text is the Dua Lipa song. Sorry if its not that good, ive been busy with school stuff lately so i havent had much time to draw or write)

~Good In Bed~

Ink Bendy x Male! Reader

Paring: Male x Male

Smut (18+)

Swearing

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🎵Yeah, let's get to the point here

You love to disappoint me, don't ya?

You tell me what I want but ain't no follow through

You don't follow through, no🎵

There against the wall, was the Ink Demon being manhandled by his lover, F/N. The human male made out with the demon in a sort of aggressive way, by pushing him into the wall. The demon moaned as F/N felt up the skinny demon, feeling every jut of bone.

🎵But if you only knew me

The way you know my body, baby

Then I think maybe we could probably see this through

We could make it through, but🎵

The human shoved the demon onto a nearby cot in the room and started caressing his chest as he ground his hips into him. F/N started to take his jeans off and soon came his boxers as his erection sprang free and Bendy groaned.

🎵I've been thinkin' it'd be better

If we didn't know each other

Then you go and make me feel okay

Got me thinkin' it'd be better

If we didn't stay together

Then you put your hands up on my waist🎵

F/N hopped onto Bendy's waist and straddled him. The demon started to writhe and whine for his lover to go all out on him. He did this on purpose, knowing how much Bendy could just flip him over and get what he want, he still stays on the bottom.

🎵I know it's really bad, bad, bad, bad, bad

Messin' with my head, head, head, head, head

We drive each other mad, mad, mad, mad, mad

But baby, that's what makes us good in bed🎵

F/N figured Bendy has had enough and plunged down on top of him, riding him at a slow pace. All the while the ink demon's moans and groans of pleasure giving F/N the drive to bounce faster on his girth. Bendy's moans only get louder and louder, being the bottom he is he tries to get more by thrusting up, but F/N comes off and says "If you want this, then you'll have to obide by my rules Bendy."

🎵Please

Come take it out on me, me, me, me, me

I know it's really bad, bad, bad, bad

But baby, that's what makes us good in bed

It's bad

We drive each other mad

It might be kinda sad

But I think that's what makes us good in bed🎵

He dropped down onto the demon again and rode him at a faster pace, knowing Bendy will cum soon and so will he, so he picks up the tempo of his bouncing to near the edge faster.

🎵I dedicate this verse to

All that good pipe in the moonlight

And the long nights where we did everything but talk it through

That's what we do, yeah

You always let me down, boy

But when you're going down I get so up

Don't know if I could find someone who do me like you do🎵

F/N brought Bendy into one last passionate kiss as he felt his shaft twitch inside of him. He felt up and down his curves and let out the last moan as Bendy shot his seed up inside of Y/N. Both panting, and out of breath from the steamy sex session the both of them just had.

🎵I've been thinkin' it'd be better

If we didn't know each other

Then you go and make me feel okay

Got me thinkin' it'd be better

If we didn't stay together

Then you put your hands up on my waist

I know it's really bad, bad, bad, bad, bad

Messin' with my head, head, head, head, head

We drive each other mad, mad, mad, mad, mad

But baby, that's what makes us good in bed

Please

Come take it out on me, me, me, me, me

I know it's really bad, bad, bad, bad

But baby, that's what makes us good in bed🎵

F/N got off of the demon and helped him up and soon began to put his clothes back on. "That was great, thank you baby" he gave the demon a kiss on the cheek and went back to lay down on the bed

🎵It's bad

We drive each other mad

It might be kinda sad

But I think that's what makes us good in bed

It's bad

We drive each other mad

It might be kinda sad

But I think that's what makes us good in bed

Yeah, we don't know how to talk

(Mm)

But damn, we know how to fuck🎵

The tall demon followed suit to his lover in the bed, tired and drenched in sweat and ink. It was a sight that Bendy loved to see. He got into the bed and wrapped his lanky arms around F/N's waist and dropped his head onto his shoulder. Purring and satisfied, Bendy got to sleep easily that night, no nightmares of Joey, no flashbacks of when he was first created, none of that. He was happy and content right here.

🎵I know it's really bad, bad, bad, bad, bad

Messin' with my head, head, head, head, head

We drive each other mad, mad, mad, mad, mad

But baby, that's what makes us good in bed

Please

Come take it out on me, me, me, me, me

I know it's really bad, bad, bad, bad

But baby, that's what makes us good in bed

It's bad

We drive each other mad

It might be kinda sad

But I think that's what makes us good in bed

It's bad

We drive each other mad

It might be kinda sad

But I think that's what makes us good in bed🎵

(Posting all my other oneshots and whatnot will take a bit so be patient please! Also if your the original person who requested this let me know so I can tag you! I couldn't tag you bc you changed your name :)