#& IT CONSUMES US ALLLLLLLL

[ssreeder]

I miss boots :(

these guys do too.

[lilmaymayy]

hey friends! this is just a quick intro post in case you want to know a bit more about me/the blog🤭

** DISCLAIMER**

PLEASE BE KIND in this blog i will not entertain ANY hate/aggressive/mean interactions THEY WILL BE DELETED OR IGNORED, in the past where i did respond, it never left my mind and i never knew how to react, leaving me to be negatively affected by someones fleeting thoughts. so to avoid anyones displeasure please be respectful and conscious of your actions and words!! if not- 👉🚪we dont need that energy here

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*im also on mobile so apologies for any bad formatting😭😭

hello! my nicknames may and i use she/her pronouns. when sending any msgs id appreciate a quick hello but as long as your being polite i will gladly respond. feel free to address me as may or any other (kind) phrase (e.g queen/baddie?? anythings fine as long as youre being nice)

do u see the theme😘

i like to keep my age off of here simply for privacy but i can assure you i am not a minor, but if you are, you are welcome on my page any time just be aware i do swear and the content that i reblog can be nsfw, but ultimately you are responsible for the media you decide to consume.

i do not write fics(i always reblog them tho😉/also beta! so if youre a writer in need just lmk) idk if i ever will(write)but i dont realistically see that happening😭.

in the search bar for my page you can see all these hashtags, i typically tag “give it a read💋” for any fics ive betad and “she speaks🗣️” for any post thats just me yappin💀

and any character names (like finnick odair, peter parker etc.) are the bulk of fics that i reblog and you can find works for that character under those tags!

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im a full time student based in sunny california😍, my favorite things have to be fruits(tops gotta be strawberrys, cherrys anddd green grapes), fics, and folklore (3 fav f’s💋) (and yes i am a swiftie). last time i took the personality test i got ISTJ, but i swearr im still an infp. every single test i took told me i was a hufflepuff (were not lame i swear), and even though i swear up n down that im a laurie.. i might be an amy😔( i want to be great or nothing😫) and a song that i just feel for is probably a three way tie between teenage dream by olivia rodrigo, this is me trying by taylor swift and dreamer by laufey(not someone i typically listen to but whenever spotify puts her song i always love it)

favorite artistss gotta be the big three taylor, lana and ariana (nothing offish theyre just my most listened) and drake.. and bad bunny.. and olivia.. and sza.. and beyonce.. and the weekend.. and rihanna

- if you want a grasp of my music this is a LINK to my most played playlist

- this is a LINK to my more lovey/ sweet songs, its all in the description💋

*if u give em a listen and u wanna put me on.. msg me!! id love to hear your recs

my hobbies include playing music, i play guitar(kinda goodish) and i wanted to pick up piano too (idk if ill ever get to this😭) i also found that i love to do puzzles, and i wanted to start scrapbooking (looks fun af lowk). a few other things i love is definitely just jamming out to my tunes, sleeping😫😫, watching movies, playing w legos😭, PLAYING WITH MY DOGGIESSS (i have two, rocky and lily both are maltese poodles💋💋), baking (hate the clean up tho) i also love selfcare, its always good to prioritize urself but i mean the cassie method of everything showers, lotions, body oils, body mists/ perfumes, face masks, skin care (allllllll the goodies) just to finish the day off with a fic (its deadass my nightly routine to shower, get ready for bed/unwind, tumblr)

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now onto.. CELEBRITY CRUSHES!!

-CELEBRITY not character, but if i missed any lmk😝

-this is a long one so bearrrrr with me

my top 5 currently is🥁🥁🥁

1. sam claflin (been obsessed, still obsessed, i dont see this changing *unless timothee wanna quit playin🙄)

2. tom blyth (tbosbas was life changing.. hes so💋💋)

3. andrew garfield (im considering moving my man up to 2 bc hes an og for this list likee hes been on my brain since he was fan casted as our remus lupin and will stay there😌)

4. jacob elordi (newest addition, saltburn edits is the sole reason why hes here plus hes so fucking tall like i deserve that height difference *for reference im 5 ft😈)

5. timothee chalamet (i love him so much BUT HES DOWN HERE BC OF KYLIE😭*he would be 1 otherwise🥲)

for other hotties ..

OSCAR ISAAC🥵🥵😫-i need this man in bed rn

charlie brushnell😘-new addition but again he is taking over just like pjo is

tom holland- zenny baby he is all yours but that man shirtless? YUMMYYY

tom hiddleston- only rzn to watch the thor series

theo james - YOU THE ONE FOUR ME hes so fine i watched divergent (still a great series) for him n i was not dissapointed

aaron t— johnson- i do not want to mention his 🤐 but he is so fine his calvin klein ads?? KICKASS??

ben barnes- shadow n bone.. YUMMY YUMMY🤭🤭also sirius? likeee runaway to my house?

cillian murphy- ik he lowk looks like he got a bad case of botox.. BUT CMONNN PEAKY BLINDERS???

callum turner- i knew i was hooked since that harry potter movie he has like 10 minutes in🥰🥰

dylan o’brien-ima be honest im not DIE HARD in love but this man was fine since maze runner and teen wolf n will be till hes in the graveee

henry cavill- enola mf holmes.. INTRODUCE ME TO YOUR BROTOHER LIKE😍😍😍 i need this man to investigate all my internal organs

hugh laughton scott- hes just so pretty i just😘

harrison dickinson- love at first sight of darkest minds😍😍( its a discontinued movie (supposed to be) series) i need him in more shit

joao felix- my bestie pmo fifa AND HE DOES NOT DISSAPOINTT

josh hutcherson- i could not make this list without pookie

matthew gray gubler- i need him to read me to sleep, sing me to sleep, talk about anything so i can sleep, he brings me so much joy with that smile and hes so sweetie pie i could go on forever

robert pattinson- TEAM EDWARD FOR LIFEEEEEEEE

drew starkey?- idk his name but hes the hottie who plays rafe cameron IVE NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW (or anything hes in) but holy shit that man is tall and pulls off ANY hair cut

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well if youve made it this far thank you for taking the time to read this! if you want to know some more about me msg me in any way and ill respond, maybe ill add that info here. thanks again for your attention! love you all😘

[marriagegardenrave]

✨ Aesthetic ✨ the cost of pretty privilege is one that nearly cost Isabella Madrigal her soul, her freedom, her thoughts, and dry up the once bottomless well that became her ❤️‍🩹🐢. The rejection of her idol, Alma, who didn't have the capacity to build up her children or grandchildren. She only had just enough bandwidth to give them a strong foundation of pragmatic moral codes like, "a strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others." "Ogres are like onions." Btw, in my head cannon, Donkey is a bi ace icon that gets overwhelmed by choices because you want them all, all at once, all the fucking time, and it will not stop. Ever. The moment more than one person paid attention to him at once, get him all hot and bothered in the emotions, and then FUCKING ABANDONING HIM LIKE TRUE HEARTLESS MONSTERS!!! I WANTED TO HAVE A SEXY BUT NO TOUCHY TIME. MY BOUNDARIES ARE VERY THIN RN FOR THE THIRST TRAP LESBIANS AND THE PHOBIOS, THE PURE FANTACY OF HAVING BOTH OH YOU♠️🫦❤️♠️🫦❤️

You know? Sheldon and Hank Hill are both silent orgasm mains. They are the most sensual people you will ever meet. We've invented so many fantasies of what we want to inflict on each other that we have a hard time deciding which items to choose from. Painters were known as professional sex performers. They chose an outer most boundaries they were willing to go, and let they're hyper fixation set take over, because believe you me, we were traumatized to have an arsenal of pleasures to keep our spirits along the waves of silent suffering. You were waking us up ....... ..............,..

Warning sh. Shutting down.

Survival mode activated

Self care required ....blink..........drink..water 🍉 focus rereads get the fuck up to bed, you gremlin. Focus dear. Shke shke your booty, this doesn't change the fact that you're a child that needs more sleep than me. And yes metalheads are the ultimate bisexual thirst trap: the unicorn of sexuality of try EVERYTHING! The wonderful, most fantastic and heartwarming giving me allllllll the warm fuzzies and is adorable and her full glory cannot be seen fully by weak mortals. People, please read M rated Pride and Prejudice fanfiction I yearn to touch the body of my sexy but distant goddess. Can only touch from a distance watch Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris. I touch her so good with mine eyes I vote that the ultimate sex icon is indeed the dorky romantic. But you weren't interested in him because you're a bunch of sex repulsed gay men, banded together crusader monks with a vendetta against the only kind of sex they ever wanted, and they drove it away by accident by being really picky when it came to only your pairing physically being physically allowed but not emotionally. But we also demand permission every step of the way, to the point of sending down you poor souls into a constant spiral of rejection because you lowki wanted to be violated, a boundary offered for you to symbolically bust down and join in me that I've been afraid of showing anyone. Eye candy is just consuming something that you can't touch but you don't need touch. And that's where Sappho cut off..........OPSappho, where's the essay about a possible new kink. Because only gays could possibly think that hating any kind of sexuality was even a little bit okay. You're the reason whyàhshdhgeg that's not okay. That was toooo far. It's not okay to kink shame, we've been over this. Focus. Bed. Now.

[midasgutz]

elfen lied manga was such a fuckin trip. did i dream that shit up ? who allowed the dude who made that to just write all that shit??

i need to talk about elfen lied because this shit has been living rent free in my head for over an actual decade. significantly longer than a decade.

im glad that i can now accept that media i consume doesnt necessarily say anything about me, because. jesus, every inch of elfen lied is a war crime. every panel.

the coolest character who was generic tough military dude, who right when you meet him makes a point of punching a secretary just for standing behind him. and then goes out to find and kill a 17 year old with abandonment issues. and gets his shit kicked in and his arm ripped off and his eyes plucked out. and so, naturally, he trades his testicles for some dope robot eyes. for the sake of all humanity. oh and a really mediocre robot arm that he can actually break if he puts too much force into like anything. and so naturally he then finds a 14 year old homeless girl, who helped him while he was bleeding out on the beach. and of course he beats her up and, possibly kicks her dog. and then he gives her his number. uh, so he can come help her if anyone tries to... beat her up? because he cant owe her anything. and then she says something he doesnt like so he beats her up again and she shows him the paper he wrote his number on and says "someone scary is screwing with me". he storms off after that but doesnt take the paper, he still owes her. he makes good on it too, she gets in some bad trouble with a bad bad dude later. a bad bad dude with a trenchcoat whos basically just a vampire hunter, crossbow included but actually he's here to hunt teenage girls with horns, not fangs. the crossbow shoots hard metal balls with velcro spikes that have a toxin on them that causes excrutiating pain. this guys a bad bad dude, and he miiiiiight be suggesting he's gonna rape this 14 year old girl but it could be the unfairthful translation causing confusion. probably not tho the author of this series is majorly fucked in the head. anyway robocop shows up and he puts his boot right down this dudes throat so thats like whatever. that panel was my desktop wallpaper for like 6 years. we find out that 17 year old girl is evil because some kids killed her dog with a vase. so she blew them up, and after that she goes around blowing people up just to eat the food in their fridge and hang around the crib for a minute. so shes framed as the good guy and robocop is evil this time and they fight again and she does kill robocop this time which sucks because theres a good portion of manga left and no one else is as interesting as he is. he dies on the beach where he lost his eyes and his arm and lets be honest he basically lost his balls at the same time.

oh. and theres a girl who does peepee in her diaper a lot. and she can sing. i dont know why she was there but i mean every other fetish the author had already made a fucking appearance so why not lmao

theres also like. some main characters. theyre complete shit. these include a normal boy. his cousin who is the most annoying character in the fucking world. she is literally just "im only here to pad the amount of love interests our generic main character can have all at once" the character. yeah man, his cousin? cause shit why not. why not, its japan, do as the romans do. also theres the alternate personality of the 17 year old. shes only here so that evil 17 year old girl can be a love interest not once but twice, and i mean, conveniently shes often naked. makes sense, when the only word you can say is "milk".

and then there's Nana. Nana is a quad amputee after evil 17 year old girl ripped all her limbs off and almost finished her off. but dont worry! her dad, whos not her dad at all, finds her and he gives her some prosthetics that she can control with her super powers. what do you mean you werent aware of the super powers? of course they have super powers. its manga. after he does this he just lets her loose with a bunch of money and his tie because she asked very politely for the dangly thing he wears on his neck. she wears it like a headband, even though she established she knew it went around his neck. so yeah he gave her money but she was raised in a lab like a rat so she has no clue what its for. she meets the 14 year old homeless girl and they have a fun time being homeless together. Nana burns the money in a fire to keep warm but only some of it because the 14 year old girl tells her that you can trade money for food, which makes nana very happy because boy did she want some of the 99 cent street vendor food earlier. no one acknowledges that nana has enough money to buy her own house and be well off for easily 5 years. 14 year old girl takes her to the main character house that shes been staying at for a while and they have a bath. nana hated this idea until she realized that bath doesnt mean bucket of cold water at her new sort of house. but uh oh, nana senses evil 17 year old and shes kinda pissed about her arms and legs. they almost do a fight but wait whats this? 17 year old isnt fighting back, she just keeps saying "milk" and smiling. nana takes some issue with this and promptly leaves after pushing her through a rice paper door. shortly after everyone goes looking for nana.

um some stuff happens and then whaaaattt??? nanas not dads real daughter is introduced. shes locked in a circular room lined with lead and chloride of lime. with a diameter of 15 meters, the length of her invisible hands. shes only ever had the voice of a single woman to comfort her, shes permanently lockdd in bondage gear unable to move. she has to use a wheelchair to move because her legs have completely atrophied. she moves it with her invisible hands, her real ones are useless. she calls the only voice she knows her mother. her mothers job has been to talk to and comfort this dangerous girl for years. said mother mentions her excitement to finally see the girl in person, and also casually drops how theyve sewn bombs into several parts of her body. conveniently, if shes in intense pain her powers dont work. so she meets her mom, takes one look at her and says "youre not my mom >:(" and sends her entire upper torso flying. conveniently said torso lands near the bomb controls. she slams that shit like shes a rat with an orgasm button and babygirls arm go bye bye. they inform her while she writhes in pain that she has to comply with their demands or they can blow her whole deal up next time. shes pretty ok with being blown up, but then they tell her they want her to kill something so her ears perk up like a cat hearing a can opener. yep shes going to go kill evil 17 year old. nanas not dad is not taking any of this well but he essentially gets mindbroken after he has to blow up his daughter later after shit flies off the handle. he spends his time as a homeless man, denoted by the sudden appeaeance of a large beard, living in a shack on the beach where robocop died. he does note the beach is incredibly clean and that is because robocop picked up allllllll the trash so that evil 17 year old couldnt throw it at him. he did totally eat shit anyway though no worries. im not bitter about it why should you be? im not.

anyway shit happens and 17 year old melts into a really graphic puddle of fleshy goo, and in doing so totally does the jesus thing. because at some point she realized she really just wanted to be with main character, but all of the things shes done makes that impossible.

i was like maybe 12 when i read this shit. i didnt reread it for this. im pretty sure most of this is accurate but i CAN and WILL promise you one thing. diaper girl is real, and he REALLY really really really 100% did trade his balls for robot eyes, and a playdough robot arm.

[loveoaths]

it is far from a perfect analog, but if you were looking for a visual example of how haku fights when not solely using hyoton, check out sypha’s  fighting   style ( two videos linked ).  this applies doubly for haku’s style in the jinchūriki au, because you can bet your sweet ass haku uses kokuō’s boiling release to float like sypha.  

haku isn’t a one-trick pony. haku’s chakra natures are water, wind, ice, & lightning; expect to see allllllll four in battle. plus, hyōton consumes a lot of chakra, so haku doesn’t bust it out immediately in battle; they usually save it for containing/holding enemies, quick transport, & unleashing portals once they’ve mastered the final tiers of hyōton. whenever possible, most of haku’s hyōton use is done without hand-seals, because using an actual jutsu rather than simply manipulating water that’s already in the area, takes a lot of energy. & in battle, you don’t burn energy you don’t need to.

as a whole, haku’s style is 99% aerial. they were trained as a compliment to a swordsman, & so they tend to leave ground assault to whoever they fight beside. however, haku & zabuza have switched it up when situations called for it, with haku acting as striker & zabuza buffeting with ninjutsu.

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 76

Another quiet day in quarantine, a fact I am trying to appreciate as being generally good. The kiddo was back on his school schedule after the long weekend but he forgot to take his medicine this morning, which made for a more laborious day of lessons than necessary. He eventually got everything done, even though it took until after lunch. His reward was getting to use the new leaf sweeper on the deck, which is on the power scale halfway between hair dryer and leaf blower. We also did another round of playing with squirt guns, which led to another round of laundry. I definitely feel like I should've brought more clothes for all of us back when I did the trip home. 

I made pot roast for supper, another excellent crockpot meal. You take a little beef roast, shoulder roast maybe, something cheap, and you put pepper and garlic salt all over it. You pour a bag of baby carrots and a bunch of raw potatoes in one-inch cubes into the bottom of your biggest crock pot, and then set the roast on top of them. Pour on an envelope of onion soup mix, then a can of cream of mushroom soup, a can of sliced mushrooms with the liquid, a little red wine and a good shake of worcestershire sauce. Cook it allllllll day long. It's delicious, but the carrots are the best part. 

Pot roast is another recipe that got handed down from my paternal grandmother, who was a heck of a cook. She had dementia in the last years of her life and I've been thinking about her a lot lately, for obvious reasons. I was not around very much in her last few years, already married and away at law school downstate. My aunt already lived with her, so with a daytime companion she was able to stay in her home for a long time, but eventually she faded so much that we had to find a nursing home for her with a locked unit. I visited there a couple of times, but she didn't really know who I was. I try not to remember her that way, and feel lucky that I have a whole childhood full of memories of growing up right next door to her, learning to cook and garden and play double solitaire, even if the lessons on cleaning never sunk in. When I think about it, I can still remember the way her house smelled, even though it's a scent I couldn't possibly put a name to. 

Yesterday the visit with my FIL went very well; he was more animated and asked lots of questions about the stories they told him of what we'd been doing, and seemed to be enjoying himself. Today was not as good, but I guess there will always be ups and downs.No real changes in his health, except for more medical updates to suggest that trying to bring him home would be unworkable. They are taking good care of him there, and we couldn't do it here. There are no good answers and all we can do is hope that enough people behave themselves that we can eventually see him in person again. Neither time nor human behavior appear to be on our side, but there is no reason not to keep hoping. At least we can see him and talk to him, which we could not do at all for the six days in the hospital. 

MIL is feeling much better after a couple days on antibiotics and is really looking forward to getting her brace off on Friday. I very much hope she can do so, despite the fact that she has not been resting her leg nearly enough and getting the brace off will likely not help that state of affairs. Tonight we got her set up to do a Zoom meeting with a bunch of teacher friends. It's a group that she has belonged to for years, but gave up going to because she had to be with FIL almost all the time and stopped going anywhere at all. They were happy to see her back! It'll be even better when she can meet with them in person again, but she was very happy. I wonder if one lasting effect of the pandemic will be more hybrid meetings, where people get together but also stream with folks who can't be there for whatever reason. If that had been a thing a year ago, she wouldn't have had to feel nearly so isolated. 

A mysterious bandit or bandits has consumed nine of the twelve mini-Hershey bars I purchased for making S'mores. That didn't last long! I'm going to have to decide if we risk a trip to a store merely for candy, decide to do without chocolate goodness, or improvise somehow. The kiddo suggests we make little trays out of aluminum foil the size of Hershey bars and fill them with melted chocolate chips. I worry that would only result in chocolate that cannot be extracted from its foil wrapping, but I do like the way he thinks! 

[mejomonster]

pairs that I’d LOVE more of in buffy:

Willow/Buffy (I am such a Sap for Best Friends to Lovers aghh. honestly, they lived together how many years? were each others rocks how many years? are you telling me they couldn’t just drift into being together, after all this time)

Darla/Drusilla (we got a taste of this dynamic in AtS and I’d happily consume an epic gothic romance on these darlings)

Cordelia/Buffy (they’ve got the parallels. they’re both the Hero type. We could’ve had it Allllllll)

Faith/Illyria (give me a slayer who had to deal with her humanity, and a fallen god who’s got just as heavy weighing sins to bear)

Fred/Faith (imagine Fred on her mission to kill the man who destroyed her by sending her to Pylea, imagine that Fred, with someone like Faith to help her like Wesley did. Better, imagine a Faith that learned that path leads nowhere good, but has touched her pain enough to know she can’t just assume Fred’s too kind to go through with it, and actually tries to reach out to Fred and really help her heal - the way Angel used his experiences with guilt to help himself reach out to Faith)

[whaledesu]

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Those antique metal, enamel coated cups.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Idk, I was a pretty normal child.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Depends on where the soda comes from honestly.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I really like fashion, but goth fashion out of those.

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones are preferable 

8. movies or tv shows?

Why not both?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

The rain, always.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Dodgeball I guess, the part where you don’t get hit, not throwing lol.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Sleep.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

It’s just called Mood Dump. Lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

key chains 

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Probably Jolly Ranchers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

If it was an assigned one I don’t remember, they always made us read the same ones over and over.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Indian style, always 

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

just some grey slip on ones

18. ideal weather?

cold, raining, clouds overcast in the sky with a bit of a breeze

19. sleeping position?

half on the side, half on the stomach with a leg pushed up haha

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

On my laptop, it’s easier to be able to spit out words as fast as possible

21. obsession from childhood?

BATMAN

22. role model?

Kyo from Dir En Grey

23. strange habits?

I eat my food one item at a time a lot, don’t know why

24. favorite crystal?

idk does Amythest count? I like those as well as Emeralds

25. first song you remember hearing?

Probably something from Disney movies

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Stay inside in the air conditioning lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Just stand outside and inhale the air deeply

28. five songs to describe you?

In no particular order, without context:

1) Tousei - Dir En Grey 2) Closer to Fine - Indigo Girls 3) The Final - Dir En Grey 4) Glass Skin - Dir En Grey 5) Heavy - Linkin Park

29. best way to bond with you?

Talk to me about the food and movies you love

30. places that you find sacred?

Anywhere in nature that feels untouched by the world really

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Batman’s costume

32. top five favorite vines?

I don’t even remember any at this point lol

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Probably something like “alrighty”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

For some reason I always remember “It’s pizza time”

35. average time you fall asleep?

My sleep schedule is as chaotic as I am lmao

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

idk ones probably before I knew what memes even were

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase all the way

38. lemonade or tea?

Black, iced, sweet tea only.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

No, I hate citrus desserts.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Once in middle school in language arts, I just heard my teacher say to a kid in my class suddenly: “Brandon, put your penis away.” 

41. last person you texted?

Matt I think

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

pants pockets are invaluable

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

I love how bomber jackets look, but I am a hoodie person through and through

44. favorite scent for soap?

Cherry Blossom

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Superhero is not a genre? But I choose horror anyway.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

T-shirt, pajama pants allllllll the way

47. favorite type of cheese?

Swiss

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Pineapple I guess, the outside does not match the inside lol

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Here’s a handful. “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” “Treat others how you want to be treated.” “Let it go, Let it be.” "Face the abyss, but don't let it consume you."

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Just way too many things that would take too long to list.

51. current stresses?

Haha, loaded question fam

52. favorite font?

Segoe UI

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Soft, with a scrape on my thumb and a new scar on my right ring finger lmao

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Adults play more games than kids do

55. favorite fairy tale?

If Red Riding Hood counts that one

56. favorite tradition?

Watching horror movies with my Mom

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Losing my Dad Being very personally betrayed by someone Everyone I get close to eventually walking out on me

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Idk I’m just me fam

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Something with magic and travel

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Feed me Seymour!”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Spike - Cowboy Bebop Snorlax - Pokemon That being said I’m too lazy to come up with the other 5 right now

63. five songs that would play in your club?

People lost their shit when “Yeah” by Usher played every time

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Gaia Online

65. any permanent scars?

Yeah a few but nothing major

66. favorite flower(s)?

White Roses, White Lotus, ones I don’t know the names of

67. good luck charms?

My 22 pound fat ass orange cat Genji

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

I’m just gonna go with brussels sprouts

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

the one where pineapple eats you back

70. left or right handed?

I’m mostly left handed but also right handed with some things

71. least favorite pattern?

idk?

72. worst subject?

Math

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

probable elote 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

somewhere between 5 and 7 depending on my mood

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I was probably like 6?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Gonna have to say au gratin potatoes man

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

whatever makes you happy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

gas station coffee is a special thing

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

my old school photo for sure lol

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

what are jewel tones? tf

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

lightning bugs yo

82. pc or console?

PS4

83. writing or drawing?

writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

music please

84. barbie or polly pocket?

barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

both fam

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

I’ve already lived most of them so who cares but lets go with drowning

88. your greatest wish?

that my anxiety would fuck off forever

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My cat lol

90. luckiest mistake?

I’m not sure?

91. boxes or bags?

they do two very different jobs tf

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

moonlight please

93. nicknames?

Uru, Kyo, Rea

94. favorite season?

Winter

95. favorite app on your phone?

idk idc

96. desktop background?

A drawing I liked

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

like 3

98. favorite historical era?

Victorian

[nerdy-sessions]

Pokémon of the Week! #110-A: Galarian Weezing!

Welcome, nerds, to Pokémon of the Week!

Where I, Sesh, generate a random Pokémon to highlight each week!

Last week, we covered the Pokemon universe's floating stink-mine, Weezing! Find that post below:

This week, we have something I've been looking forward to ALLLLLLLL WEEK: The Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome Weezing! (aka: Weezing's variant from the Galar region!)

Mmmmm...yes, of COURSE it's British, top-hat Weezing! Wot wot, n' all that!

Does Galarian Weezing smell as bad as it's vanilla counterpart? Thankfully not.

~ORIGINS~

Galarian Weezing debuted in 2019's Sword & Shield versions for the Nintendo Switch. Thus far, Weezing's Galarian variant has only appeared in those games.

With normal Weezing being a pure Poison-type, Galarian Weezing has a Fairy-type added.

GAH! THE DREADED FAE-FOLK HAVE FINALLY MADE IT TO MY TUMBLR!

#PTSD

At the time of writing, Galarian Weezing is the ONLY Pokémon to have a Poison/Fairy-type combination. It's a unique typing because Fairy-types are weak to Poison-types, so adding the Fairy-type to a Poison-type like makes for some unique play strategies.

Galarian Weezing's appearance denotes a couple of things. Firstly, when Galarian Weezing was announced, the Internet did what it does best and related it's appearance to an obscure early 2000's cartoon reference (thus explaining the title art of this post). In Nickelodeon's The Fairly-Odd Parents, a background character named Doug Dimmadome (a rich real-estate and business tycoon in the town of Dimmsdale) would always been seen sporting a comically tall cowboy hat. It was SO TALL we could never see the top of it.

HA! HAHAHA! Classic...

I LOVED The Fairly-Odd Parents as a kid, as Galarian Weezing being compared to Dimmadome is one of my favorite things that the Internet has ever done.

In all seriousness though, Galarian Weezing's "hat" appendages seem to be an inspiration of Victorian-era British chimney hats British gentlemen wouldn't be caught dead without. Would make sense, considered Sword & Shield's Galar region is based on the U.K.

Time to flex my history-teacher muscles here, nerds.

The Industrial Revolution that mechanized the modern world took off in Britain during the Victorian Era. As such, factories (and their tall chimneys) were a common sight in big cities in Britain. Galarian Weezing's hat-like appendages also appear to make a reference to those factory chimneys and the pollution they shot into the air.

Seems like a suitable habitat for a vanilla Weezing, right? We learned last week that Weezing loved gross places like this.

But here's the kicker about Galarian Weezing.

That smog you see coming out of it's hat things?

Clean air.

WUT

According to the Sword Pokedex entry regarding our Galarian friend, it says Galarian Weezing "consumes particles that contaminate the air" and "[i]nstead of leaving droppings, it expels clean air."

Clean. Air.

So our Galarian friend is the exact opposite of our sentient fart-cloud from last week! This thing cleans the air instead of stinking it up!

So how did Weezings in Galar go from stinking to cleaning???

Evolution, I guess? (And not the instant Pokemon kind of evolution. The real-life kind that takes years.)

Shield's Pokedex entry states that "during a time when droves of factories fouled the air with pollution, Weezing changed into this form for some reason."

It's just one of those things that not even the Pokémon professors and their Pokedex can't answer for sure. My guess? The air in Galar got too stinky for even Weezing, so Weezing adapted to clean the air as opposed to fouling it. Just like how animals in real-life adapt to live in and even help their environments.

Sounds like we could use some Galarian Weezings in the real world when we have thick air pollution in bigger cities. They'd clean it right up.

What a cool 180 the designers made when designing this variant.

~DESIGN~

Here's Galarian Weezing's official artwork:

Quoted from Galarian Weezing's biology section on Bulbapedia:

In the Galar region, its appearance has changed due to absorbing polluted air from factories. It has a gray body with the skull, crossbones, and ring changed to the color yellow. Both heads have a hat-like tube located on top of them that constantly releases purified air. Five puffs of green poison gas clouds can be seen floating around it. The gas clouds also partly cover its faces: the larger head has a mustache-like cloud on its upper lip, while the smaller head has clouds on its face in the shape of eyebrows and a beard.

Galarian Weezing consumes particles from the polluted air, and expels clean air instead of droppings. The toxins within Weezing's body are accumulated into poison gas clouds that leaks and drifts around it. The gas is Weezing's best weapon in battle, being potent enough to stun and immobilize an opponent with just a whiff. Galarian Weezing preys on Trubbish for the fumes it produces.

~ADVANTAGES~

With it's added Fairy-typing, Galarian Weezing is highly resistant to lots of different types of attacks, including Dragon, Fighting, and Dark-types.

As one of the deadly fae-folk, it it now a DRAGON SLAYER.

Like it's vanilla counterpart, it is possible for Galarian Weezing to have the "Levitate" ability, making it immune to Ground-type attacks (which it is weak to). Also like normal Weezing, it could also have the "Neutralizing Gas" ability, which nullifies the abilities of all Pokémon on the field when it is first sent out.

It's hidden ability "Misty Surge" generates a Misty Terrain battlefield type upon entering battle. What does this even do, you ask? It halves the power of Dragon-type moves while it is in effect, in addition to transforming some moves into Fairy-type moves. It can even cure non-volatile status conditions of some Pokémon, like a Burn or Poison.

It's base stats are the same as vanilla Weezing's. As such, it's base Defense is the highest stats. This makes Galarian Weezing a wall to try and take down with it's natural type resistances.

It is the only known Pokémon capable of learning the Fairy-type move "Strange Steam." As such, it is Galarian Weezing's "signature" move. It has a chance of confusing the target in addition to dealing damage. Great move!

~DISADVANTAGES~

Though it's added Fairy-typing is mostly an advantageous thing, it makes Galarian Weezing the only Fairy-type weak to Psychic-type moves. It's OG Poison-typing didn't go away, and trainers need to be cautious of that.

It is also now weak to Steel-type moves as a Fairy-type.

It has the same offensive problems as vanilla Weezing. It's base Attack stat isn't very high, and trainers using Galarian Weezing should focus on moves that whittle down the opponent's HP instead of hard-hitting attacks.

It's HP stat is also very low, like Kantonian Weezing.

~HOW TO OBTAIN~

As stated above, Sword & Shield are currently the only games where Galarian Weezing can be obtained. Here's how to do it:

Catch a Koffing in the Galar region and evolve it by leveling it up to level 35. (NOTE: If you level up a Weezing traded from a previous generation, it will evolve into normal Weezing. The Koffing needs to be caught in the wild in Sword & Shield to get a Galarian Weezing).

If you don't want to go the evolution route, wild Galarian Weezing can be found in the Wild Area in East lake Axewell and the Lake of Outrage. They can also be found in the Slumbering Weald later in the game.

It is also possible to battle and catch a Dynamax Galarian Weezing in a Max Raid Battle in the following locations: East Lake Axewell, Giant's Cap, Hammerlocke Hills, Motostoke Riverbank, and North Lake Miloch.

~COOL GALARIAN WEEZING FANART~

Let's see if our air-friendly Weezing has some epic art like it's smelly counterpart...

Cleanin' the air while lookin' down at me wasting my life on Tumblr...

Some cool pixelated art of Galarian Weezing that makes it look like it's fouling the air instead of cleaning it...interesting.

Styled like it's an enemy in the Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker game. Love it.

A What If...? design of a potential Gigantimax form for Galarian Weezing.

HE'S WITH A CHIMNEY SWEEP! Oi Bruv, that's kinda cute, in'it?

~CONCLUSION~

I've always thought Galarian Weezing's design was fun and interesting, and the lore behind it is pretty cool, too. I'm just...not a big fan of Poison-types usage-wise, ya know? I'm more of a had-hitting battler. I still like it, though!

Any of you use Galarian Weezing in your playthroughs of Sword & Shield? Let me know!

Join me next week for our FIRST LEGENDARY on Pokemon of the Week! One of the Swords of Justice, Virizion!

[thehiddenlawyer]

A Brand New (Complete) Doctor Strange Fic!

At the request of @tsukuyomi011, I whipped up some more strange for all y’alls enjoyment!! Because of time constraints on my part, I simply posted all the chapters at once!!

Here, in allllllll it’s glory, Spells and Wild Abandoned Stars!

Summary:  Doctor Malick is giving a lecture in New York at a neurological society function when she sees Doctor Stephen Strange in the crowd. After 20 years of silence, 20 years of no contact between lovers, how did time disappear between them? How did 20 years of distance simply cease its existence with a simple touch of his lips to her cheek, a touch of his hand to hers, a smile? 20 years, and she was under his spell again.

A Taste:

When the lecture was over, Dr. Rayna Malick smiled at her colleagues, nodding her thanks at their applause as she gathered her notes from the lectern, her eyes easily finding him.

In her entire life, she had only ever had one him. A him that she could identify by just those three vague letters, without the necessity to properly identify him using a distinct first and last name. Just…him. Or he, depending on grammatical need.

And he was walking towards her now as she shook hands with the people on the dais, who congratulated her on her talk, on her empowering presence, on the way she had illuminated so much for them about emergency medicine in faraway places, in regions wracked with natural and man-made disasters. She didn’t know how and what she responded with to the people that complimented her, she was sure she said the right things, smiled and nodded the way she was supposed to, her notes clutched in her hands, her smile pasted on her face as he walked towards her. As always, he seemed to suck all the energy out of the room, a walking talking blackhole, she used to call him, because whenever he walked into a room, nothing else existed for her.

He always consumed her, always occupied her, always stretched himself within her very skin and scrambled her thoughts. It was a good thing she hadn’t spotted him during the lecture or he would have made her sound like an incompetent, nervous ass. Or whatever the opposite of accomplished neurosurgeon turned WHO ambassador was these days. Or the simple opposite of a composed, graceful, literate woman.

He turned her into a cavewoman, reduced her down to the most common denominator of biology. She always liked to entertain herself by imagining all her diplomas and commendations burning in a sacrificial pyre in front of him while he looked on imperiously with that tilted chin and big body that exuded arrogance and confidence.

He was a few feet from her now, looking more handsome than she remembered. And she was convinced that it had been impossible for him to look even more tantalizing than he normally did, than he did when she had first known him lifetimes, ages, eons ago. Age had settled into his features with a grace that made her envious, that had her eyes tracing the laugh lines and crow’s feet around his eyes and mouth, that had her looking at the gray at his temples with an appreciative smile. He looked more severe, more austere with the whitened temples, as if his physical form was finally catching up to the brain, the talent that he was known for. And in that black suit that fit his body like a glove, she wondered vaguely if he’d worn black on black because he’d remembered her weakness for it. Or if he’d worn a simple black tie instead of a bowtie because he’d remembered her preference for it.

Stephen Strange was aging like fine wine, and as she stood talking to the head of the neurological society that was throwing this little party, she wondered she looked like to him. Her hair was a deep red now from a bottle, cut short to a manageable length around her shoulders, now pulled back in a professional bun. She wondered if he saw the age lines on her face, saw them through the make-up she’d used to hide them, suddenly feeling shy that day about her age when she’d realized he was going to be at the dinner. Would he see how her body had changed with time, with age, with motherhood? Would he trace her features the way she had his? Would he even notice the black dress she wore with the velvet jacket over it, in her attempt to look elegant when she felt frumpy?

“Dr. Malick,” he grinned, his voice the same, incredibly soothing baritone that lived and breathed in her dreams, that haunted her and woke her up in the middle of the night, aroused beyond explanation, panting for him, and knowing there would never be a substitute for him.

“Stephen,” she grinned, shaking his hand, his long, eloquent fingers swallowing her hand whole, “must we stand on formality?” she murmured, looking into those cat-like, mercurial eyes, that beautiful, chiseled face that she had sketched with her pencil and with her fingertips, her lips, her tongue…so many nights in his arms, so many hours…

“I thought you’d prefer it,” he grinned at her, “if we’re dropping the titles then, I can greet you properly,” his eyes flashed as he leaned down, kissing her cheek even as he held her hand in his. She tried not to moan, not to react, not to weep or turn her face into the familiarity of his lips. How was it possible? After all these years, to still become breathless in his presence, to still remember the texture of his lips?

“That’s better,” she laughed, “how are you, Stephen? I must say, I’m surprised to see you here!”

“I make it a point to come to functions featuring an old friend,” his smile was the same, wondrous to behold, transforming his entire face into light even as it melted his perfect jaw line to multiple chins of mirth.

“Old friends,” she rolled her eyes.

“Polite term,” he grinned.

She vaguely wondered what that impolite term for them would be. Lovers? Fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? She looked deep into his eyes and couldn’t make herself reduce their relationship to callus words and phrases that didn’t quite reflect what they’d shared. They had been each other’s rock, she knew that, but she’d never fooled herself into thinking they would be anything else. It had been the strangest relationship she could imagine, physically demanding, emotionally taxing and simultaneously satisfying her to her core. But they had lived together with the knowledge that there was a temporariness to everything between them, that the peace they found together was just a brief lapse in judgement.

Her thoughts were momentarily interrupted as a pair of surgeons walked up, introducing themselves and looking at Stephen in wonder. She felt grateful that she could melt into his shadow for just a few moments, knowing that anyone would be overshadowed by the Great Stephen Strange. Rayna didn’t mind standing next to him, listening to the confident way he accepted praise, knowing fully well he deserved every single one and making no qualms about it.

“How do you two know each other?” Dr. Simpson was asking, looking at Rayna.

“We did our residency together at New York Gen under Dr. Walsh,” she answered the elderly surgeon, accepting the glass of wine the waiter offered them.

“I didn’t realize!” Dr. Simpson looked astonished, her eyes on Stephen, and Rayna could relate to the feminine appreciation she saw.

“Rayna was always the better doctor,” Stephen was saying, one hand casually in his pocket, his long fingers wrapped around the squat class of whiskey he’d had the waiter bring him, “always gave me a run for my money. Thank God she didn’t stick around or I’d have serious competition,” they all chuckled at the comment and she saw the astonishment that flared in the eyes of the doctors in the little circle that had convened around them. To think that there was another doctor, another surgeon that Dr. Stephen Strange would admit to being inferior to.

But then, whatever impermanence they’d shared, she could at least say they stripped each other of ego.

Rayna’s thoughts drifted as she listened and responded mechanically to the conversation around her, catching his eye every once in a while, watching those crinkles at the edges of his eyes when he smiled for her, winking at her in the secret way he always did. Back in the old days, he would wink at her like that at parties too, or even while they were in class or at work, and she knew it would mean he was going to catch her alone somewhere and devour her. And oh, how she loved it when he feasted on her.

She remembered their little crappy apartment in New York, the cramped space somehow seeming infinite when he was around, every surface seemed to be covered with medical textbooks and notebooks, a pair of scrubs always on display somewhere, announcing to the world that two medical residents lived there. Rayna, a neat freak, would work tirelessly to make sure their place was clean but it always looked disastrous, an inexplicable, permanent hurricane seemed to live in their place. She remembered the warm nights when she’d be studying outside, sitting on the fire escape, listening to the sounds of the city as she studied and strived, the way he’d crawl nimbly out of the window and sit next to her. She’d always put the book and highlighter away and lean back in his arms, and they’d simply breath together.

Looking back now, older and wiser, with enough life experience under her belt to last a regular person thousands of lifetimes, she realized they’d been happy because they knew it wasn’t going to last between them. They had held each other, made love to each other, breathed for each other with the knowledge that there was an end date. And she’d been the one to say good-bye, signing up with Doctors Without Borders not long after she’d completed her residency, and she would forever remember the way he’d kissed her good-bye at the airport.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” he asked her now, leaning down, his words for her alone, “catch up a little? Talk about the old times? Unless you’re too much of a hot shot right now and can’t be bothered with an old friend.”

Old friend.

She laughed, “sure!” she smiled, “I guess I can make time for you if I must,” she looked at the other doctors they’d been talking, “excuse us.”

*cough @sobeautifullyobsessed cough*

[larrytcamp]

Traveling: What To Do In Toronto

I love being a traveler.

Sure, when we're taking a trip, it's wonderful to go to the off-the-beaten-path, less jampacked places. In Japan, we stayed in AirBnBs that were in peaceful household neighbourhoods where we can see kids walking to institution in the morning. We ate at a tiny ramen restaurant at the end of the block and also did our laundry at the laundromat around the corner. That's all really good.

Yet I definitely wish to see the landmarks of a city we're checking out. I absolutely wish to take a trip if there is one-- to find out about the history of an area. I recommend heading to a crowded "tourist trap" due to the fact that hello, there's a reason the place is bring in travelers !!

Even in Edmonton, I love being a "visitor" in my own city. It's a great mentality to enter, to explore and discover the important things that make a place so terrific.

To ensure that was my method this summer when Mike and I saw Toronto, Ontario for the very first time.

We existed to celebrate the marriage of our two excellent close friends, but additionally there to eat consume eat (certainly-- see my article of Where to Eat in Toronto!) and also tourist hard.

Below is a wrap-up of What We Carried out in Toronto, that hopefully assists you decide What To Do in Toronto when you go! Mike as well as I allowed fans of this gorgeous, bustling, multicultural city, and also we can not wait to return!

What to do in Toronto, Ontario

1. Take the City Sightseeing And Tour Toronto Double Decker Trip Bus

Taking the red double decker City Taking in the sights Toronto tour bus was among our favorite things we did during our trip. This hop-on, hop-off bus tour gives you accessibility to the bus for 48 hours, and is a fantastic means to check out as well as learn more about several of the city's most popular and earliest neighbourhoods. With your ticket, you obtain access to 21 quits across the city, AND ALSO a totally free Harbour as well as Islands Watercraft Cruise The buses go to all the crucial Toronto places-- the CN Tower, Yonge-Dundas Square, Kensington Market, the Entertainment Area, as well as a lot more. If you remain on for the whole trip, it has to do with 2 hours long however if you decide to get on and also off, there's generally an additional bus that comes over every 15 mins, so if you want to quit at Kensington Market for a visit, you can proceed your scenic tour after because there's constantly mosting likely to be a trip bus coming to choose you support!

My favorite component of this scenic tour is the history that you learn from the tourist guide. Mike and I just got on and off twice, but both the tour guides we obtained were really amusing as well as shared some of one of the most fascinating facts. For example, through the City Taking in the sights Toronto trip, I discovered that the co-creator of Superman, Joe Shuster, was birthed in Toronto and in fact created for the Toronto Daily Star! He's claimed Toronto's downtown/skyline provided him motivation for Superman's City. AMAZING right! We additionally found out that Yonge Street was the longest street on the planet (up until the Guinness Book of Globe Records removed them of that title due to the fact that Yonge really develops into Ontario's Highway 11 (and is as a result not called Yonge Road any longer) lol. We discovered that film staffs from the UNITED STATE get some rather excellent tax breaks if 51% of their movie staff are Canadians (we already knew that the popular show Matches is shot in Toronto so it was also cool driving down the streets where Matches usually shoots). As well as we found out about Toronto's Lieutenant-Governor John Graves Simcoe, that renamed the city to York, however then the city obtained called 'Little York and also Dirty York' due to the fact that there was clearly a larger York at the time (New york city) as well as Torontonians waited up until years after Simcoe passed away prior to transforming the name back to Toronto (an extremely respectful thing to do lol).

We really delighted in the City Sightseeing and tour Toronto scenic tour and also would highly suggest it from a traveler standpoint, from a seeing and also finding out a lot concerning the city in a short amount of time standpoint, as well as also simply from a transportation viewpoint. We walked a whole lot in Toronto, however were thankful to be able to utilize the bus as a way of transport every now and then also!

2. Get on the Harbour and also Islands Watercraft for a Cruise.

As component of the City Sightseeing Toronto scenic tour, you also break out admission onto the Harbour and also Islands Boat Cruise Ship. The boat anchors at Toronto's Harbourfront Centre pier and makes it way via Toronto Inner Habrour and its 14 islands. The 45 min scenic tour offers some rather outstanding photo opportunities of the Toronto horizon. Similar to the bus excursion, the boat tour guide likewise shares excellent info (with a terrific sense of humour)! You discover as an example that Hanlan's Factor Beach, one of the Toronto Island beaches, is clothing-optional. lol.

We didn't obtain an opportunity to go to any of the islands however I have actually also been told by a couple of Torontonians that doing an excursion out on the islands (renting a bike as well as striking the beaches) is additionally a truly remarkable thing to do in Toronto. Next time!

3. Walk the Toronto Harbourfront

While you're near the Harboufront, you need to have a look at all the tasks around here! In the summer season, the Harbourfront Centre hosts free live music shows. There's a selection of vendors and the Amsterdam Bridge (called after Toronto's sister city-- Amsterdam, which we found out on our bus scenic tour!) There's also the Purina PawsWay at the Harbourfront, a terrific museum-like space with a pet-friendly cafe, Purina's Family pet Hall of Fame, and different pet tasks throughout the day. Regrettably the PawsWay closed this September 2017, but I think of whatever they put in its place will still be worth a visit.

Likewise at the Harboufront-- this interesting art slash slide point!

4. Consume at allllllll the Toronto restaurants

I indicate, I assume even if you lived in Toronto it would be impossible to consume at ALL the Toronto dining establishments but male-- what a wonderful objective that would be. On our visit to Toronto we consumed a lot. I attempted to press in second lunches and also 3rd dinners and also truly that still had not been sufficient-- there are a lot of unbelievable dining establishments in this multicultural city, I can't wait to come back and consume some even more! Take a look at my article summarizing the 20 Places We Consumed in Toronto and also use that as your guide of where to consume. Still, we really did not even make a damage. Terroni was my favorite, for incredible, home made pasta. Asian-Caribbean at Patois was superb. Lee Susur Lee is a must-visit (their cheeseburger springtime rolls!) Something interesting we learnt more about Toronto is that there are a lot of Jamaican-inspired dining establishments and also food, and also a lot of dining establishment shower rooms lie in the cellar of buildings! (It's a little an expedition to get down to those shower rooms, lol). I now recognize I 'd been seriously missing out-- Toronto food is simply sensational as well as it simply felt like every place had an impressive vibe. We enjoyed it.

5. Walk through Graffiti Street

I seem like there's an Instagrammable Wall on every edge in Toronto however there are likewise committed areas for some actually awesome mural walls as well as road art. Graffiti Street, in Toronto's "Fashion Area" is one of them. I guess this is also where Rick Mercer does his well-known tirades! Graffiti Alley runs west from Spadina Ave. to Portland St. (however feels like it's continuous). There are actually vibrant, outstanding artsy walls here that make for terrific photo opportunities. When we went, the alley was loaded! It was truly great to see and entirely enhances my love of these Instagrammable Walls. All walls should make people want to stop and take a picture! You need to get your own taken at one of Toronto's incredible artistic wall surfaces. I love them so much I need to share a couple of more right here:

6. Choose a hotel midtown for very comfort

We remained in two hotels during our Toronto journey-- the initial part of the journey we stayed at the Fairmont Royal York and the 2nd part of the trip went to the store Templar Resort. We had pretty good experiences at both hotels, however actually the very best component to both stays was their area and proximity to, well, so many things! We really did not rent out a cars and truck on this journey to Toronto since we chose hotels that were right in the middle of all the action. We were essentially able to walk all over we wanted to go! Selecting a resort downtown, near King as well as Queen Road, John Road, Adelaide Street, Spadina Method, for example, was possibly the best Toronto decision we made. Our feet were eliminating us throughout the trip (since we strolled so much) however it was rather phenomenal having the ability to leave of our resort space as well as stroll 5 or 10 minutes to a dynamic area full of things to see and also do.

6. Walk King and Queen Road

Mentioning walking ... you should ensure strolling down King and Queen Street gets on your Toronto travel plan. Well, not just walking but eating also (naturally!) I can not count how many dining establishments there get on these 2 streets. Originating from Edmonton, I would certainly relate King and also Queen Road to Whyte Ave and also 124 Road for the sort of walkability, shops, dining establishments, and total vibe (yet much longer, as well as far more stuffed with services!).

Plus there's a great deal a lot more Instagrammable Walls on these streets ...:D.

7. See Chinatown/ Kensington Market.

And the strolling continues! We additionally enjoyed our stroll down Toronto's very large Chinatown as well as via the fashionable Kensington Market. I've actually heard other Toronto-area Chinatowns are far better than Toronto's actual Chinatown, but in terms of size and shops, we really did not feel like it was lacking anything. Kensington has a pretty diverse ambiance, and comparable to King/Queen, is simply one more really walkable area with a range of stores and restaurants!

8. Take an image with the Toronto Indication.

If you're touristing hard, you have to make a quit at the Toronto Indication situated in Toronto's Nathan Phillips Square. I do not understand if there's anything more I can see concerning this than that, lol. It's simply a must-check-off-your-list, however depending upon when you go, they do hold events at the Square, as well as there is additionally a Farmers Market at the Square too!

9. See the Love Locks at Distillery Area.

Clearly there is more to the Distillery District than the Love Locks however among the primary factors I wanted to visit this area was to take an image with this gorgeous art setup. I think love locks at various other public spaces in Toronto had actually been hacked off so this was erected type of in response to that. It's a truly excellent art piece and I like the picture we obtained taken there. There's also nice stores and also dining establishments to check out in this district, which has a number of old heritage buildings and also is really a historic site (and also at one point back in the 1860s, was house to the world's biggest distillery).

10. Catch a Comedy Show.

Mike and I like an excellent comedy show as well as it so happened that our buddy Drew Behm had actually relocated to Toronto to do funny around (make it big!) so we were delighted to be able to capture one of his shows at The Corner Comedy Club throughout our go to. This teeny, tiny club is so tiny, it's funny (that's really the club's tagline however it's so true lol). As a rule of thumb, similar to just how I'm constantly looking for a Vietnamese restaurant to consume pho at no matter where we take a trip, catching a funny program is additionally an advantage to do in a city you have actually never ever been in. Laughter is quite universal.

11. See a Themed Shop/ Bar/ Restaurant.

There's a lot of fun themed stores, bars as well as restaurants in Toronto. We intended to reach The Lockhart (a Harry Potter themed bar) and also Curiosa (a Harry Potter themed boutique) yet we weren't able to reach it. There was also a Tiki themed restaurant that was suggested to us (The Shameful Tiki Space) that we would certainly try on a return journey to Toronto. And Mike had the ability to check out Rotate-- a Ping Pong Bar as well as Medieval Times (a medieval-style supper theatre) during the bachelor party as well as assumed both were lots of fun!

12. Go to a Big League Baseball (the Blue Jays!) Game.

We were quite excited to take a look at our very first Big league Baseball game ever before-- watching the Toronto Blue Jays versus the Boston Red Sox during our journey to Toronto. Although heaven Jays lost, I did have fun with my very touristy Blue Jays foam finger as well as it was cool to see the dome open throughout the game! We got a pretty pleasant sight of the CN Tower and the groom's sibling also leased a Field Room at the Renaissance Hotel Toronto (which becomes part of Rogers Centre) so we reached look out onto the field during their warm-up before the game started, right from the convenience of his hotel area!

The couple we were commemorating are huge Blue Jays/baseball followers so this was obviously a must-do with them as well as I'm so delighted we did!

13. See Toronto from the Sky at the CN Tower.

What's even more touristy than rising an actually high tower as well as keeping an eye out onto the city below you? We appear to do this almost all over we travel and it's worth the views every time. In Toronto, we took a 58-second glass lift up 1,136 feet (346 metres) to the CN Tower's Search Level, to keep an eye out over gorgeous Toronto.We also We additionally stopped on the Glass Flooring and looked into the Exterior SkyTerrace (it's rather gusty up there/out there!) I couldn't encourage Mike to do the EdgeWalk with me (that's the destination where you walk and also lean out on the edge of the tower, eep!!!) but possibly that's something we can try on our return see.

14. Obtain Lost at Casa Loma, Toronto's Castle.

Ever before want to live in a castle? Or visit one in Canada? Toronto's Castle-- Casa Loma-- was once residence to Sir Henry Pellatt and also Woman Mary Pellatt. Casa Loma took three years and also $3.5 million to construct from 1911 to 1914. It's a Gothic Revival style castle with massive yards and also is now a museum as well as also prominent shooting place! In the cellar of Casa Loma they highlight all sorts of films that have actually been shot in Casa Loma's spaces. There was a wedding event taking place when we visited, and also they were establishing for a Halloween occasion in the tunnels underneath the castle (which you can additionally explore). It's quite amazing and also is a stop on the City Sightseeing excursion so if you're into background, old structures, and also scary (but awesome) castles (as well as not planning a trip to Europe anytime quickly to see their castles) then you must see Casa Loma!

15. Attempt a Secret City Adventures Retreat Area.

As escape area aficionados below in Edmonton, we were really delighted to try a room in Toronto. The business Secret City Adventures came highly recommended (many thanks @britl!) and also are recognized for their live stars as well as immersive narration. We tried to escape from The Secret of Fire Station No. 4 and were possibly a min or more away from resolving the space (yet alas, we failed). We were put in the area with complete strangers but the team was really excellent and it was really fun in spite of not fairly resolving it! Often I assume escape areas with live stars can be truly hit-or-miss (yet primarily miss) however in this case, it was a significant hit. I extremely recommend a Secret City Adventures escape area if you're into getaway areas!

16. Take the Niagara Falls Hornblower Cruise + Trip Behind The Loss!

We had the ability to press in a fast field trip to Niagara Falls throughout our Toronto visit and also had such an outstanding time, we intend to return once more and invest more time in Niagara as well as go to Niagara-On-The-Lake (which we've heard resembles the Kelowna of Ontario). In Niagara Falls, we took the Voyage to the Autumns Watercraft Tour, which is a 20-minute ride that let us stand up close and also personal to the American Falls, Bridal Veil Falls, as well as the magnificent Canadian Horseshoe Falls (which is the most effective of the Niagara Falls!) It was a complete 'Mist Experience' (we obtained rather wet right up under the Horseshoe Falls!) and had so much enjoyable.

Then after we were done, we strolled down the major Niagara Falls strip (kind of like a more serene Las vega strip lol), obtained a bunch of pictures and also different angles of the falls, and afterwards took in a 'Journey Behind the Falls' Niagara Parks experience where we reached stroll in the passages behind the Horseshoe Falls. It was fantastic exactly how close we were to the drops. These water drops are genuinely extraordinary to see personally, and I could not think that it's not an All-natural Wonder of the World since seriously-- it's remarkable. It's a have to see!

The post “ Traveling: What To Do In Toronto “ was seen first on linda-hoang.com

The IV Lounge - IV Therapy Toronto Drip Clinic

[abiteofnat]

NYC? NYFEEDME... 

Because if there’s one thing NYC is good at, it’s making sure my bottomless pit of a stomach is consistently full of something tastyyy. As well as beautiful. They are the epitome of making food into an art and waste no time or money with creative executions of something as simple as “cookie dough” (more on that later). A couple weeks ago I went to NYC as a part of a) finding a smart-kid college for my smart-kid sister and b) due to a standing family vacation reservation that fit in nicely to part “a” so after my donut-filled Syracuse excursion we bopped on down to Midtown! There was the glitz n’ fake glamour of NYC just blocks away in Times Square, but we tucked away in the 1 Hotel on 6th which has become a second home of sorts. While it’s strangely organic and it all smells like wood and hemp, it’s a literal oasis from the trashbag-lined streets and taxis honking and honking (and honking). Do NOT get me wrong, I ADORE New York. I live for the salty street pretzels and the iced coffee at every deli and the need to just live it up there constantly. But I’m a Chicago girl, midwestern to the bone and Jesus I thought I might have a better fate in store but it appears I’m baseball and cheese fries until I die. 

Give me ten days in that wild city though and I will make them my bitch! Since I’d only ever spent 48 hours at a time in NYC many times a year in the past few years, and still managed to consume most of the island I was concerned as to how I would fare. I’d say thankfully we as a family eat pretty healthy and my one friend I stayed with is a ~vegan~ and the other one is a marathon runner with a taste for really really good carbs, so damage was light. I’ve rounded up my tippity-top spots for grub worth taking one to one million photos of and I hope you get to go try them all, because I’m a creature of habit and rarely wine n dine somewhere once so I’ll see you around! 

1. BLUESTONE LANE! 

This cafe was one of my sister’s finds, and still one of my favorites to look back on! Elise isn’t usually one to choose where we dine, but we all needed coffee and a breakfast that wasn’t bagels on bagels (which would be my choice if it was my turn to choose breakfast) and she pointed us to a little funky-chic cafe called Bluestone Lane, an Australian chain dotted across NYC. The location we went to was on 5th Ave (2 E 90th ST for the exact address) and was attached to a gorgeous old church, the seating within some of the re-done structure with tables spilling out onto the scenic sidewalk. Bluestone offers a “reasonably” priced, health-oriented menu that’s somewhat Cali and somewhat NYC-foodie-on-a-mission-for-THE-PIC. I was beyond thrilled to get to shoot this food- we ate at a table right inside the doors between the beautiful stone walls which meant natural, warm light and perfect people watching. 

What we ate: the BIRCHER MUESLI STOLE THE SHOW. With creamy oats, crisp apples, quinoa for texture and health benefits, and seasonal berries + fruits it was a killer combo of filling and still light in the stomach. The homemade banana bread (gluten free!) with ricotta and fruit is a great sharing plate which is exactly what we did, and added something sweet and heavier to everyone’s meals. The avocado smash was beautifully composed “On Balthazar toast with tahini, heirloom cherry tomatoes, feta, sunflower sprouts & e.v.o.o” (from website) and could have been the full meal if we came an hour later. For a breakfast/brunch/lunch date, this is the place. You want to sip their scrumptious espresso and fragrant, rich chai over the colorful food and chat forever in these walls. And guess what? The Guggenheim Museum is right next door, which is exactly where we went after this meal. How perfect is that? 

2. DOUGH!

So my mom loves donuts. As in donuts are worth twenty minutes to find parking for, legit anger if they are sold out, real old school donut appreciation level of love. This is something I love deeply about her and why I can always count on a “yes” upon a donut excursion request, and while in NYC it’s a m u s t to go to Dough. These big ole fluffy fuckers are too good to skip, and given there’s plenty of flashy, over-the-top donuts to be found on Instagram I can’t praise Dough enough. These are bigger than your hand but weigh less than a baby bunny, and the flavors do nothing but enhance the sweet, airy dough you can watch being hand-fried in the back baking room through a glass wall. My favorite one to date is the Blood Orange donut coated in the prettiest pink glaze and donning a dried orange slice, and it’s tangy and flavorful and citrusy without being sickeningly sweet. 

The other front runners are the chocolate-hazelnut and the lemon poppyseed which tastes like a much less buttery version of lemon poppyseed pound cake and instead would make a lovely breakfast pastry. While Dough is small and there isn’t much open seating since it’s ~always~ full of people eating a donut with fork and knife, my family grouped up by the window and shared donuts with chocolaty fingers and smiles galore. Can’t frown when you’re eating a donut unless you’re a miserable person! 

There she is, the Blood Orange baddie calling my name. I’ll be back, my sweet. 

3. TOBY’S ESTATE COFFEE

What’s a family vacation in my family without copious coffee??? Seeing as donuts and 3 p.m. always call for caffeine, we wandered around the Flatiron District where Dough is located and found this little coffee shop that’s Brooklyn originated and very very cute. They take coffee seriously so don’t expect grande sizes, but do expect major taste. Bonus? It’s attached to a boutique bookstore so you can sip and shop (but do NOT SPILL). I got a mocha and it was rich, delicious, and also very expensive. That’s what good espresso (cough cough not Starbucks) will cost you. 

4. DŌ, Cookie Dough Confections

That’s right, another “dough”! There’s a theme here of trendy sweet treats and this one certainly takes the... dough. Made famous through social media and the 2017 “need” for colorful and unique foodie experiences, DŌ offers a variety of cookie dough flavors all entirely safe to eat either in a cup or a cone quite like an ice cream store! I turned 22 during our trip and this was my pick for birthday breakfast because what adult doesn’t want to turn 22 while eating a scoop of oatmeal and M&M cookie dough that comes in a PINK CONE?!?!? I may be getting old and gross, but my stomach is still a dessert-driven child. I literally only eat my vegetables so we can get to the real stuff. 

We came at a great time- given the fact it’s such a destination spot there can be up to a 2+ hour wait (!!!) so we got there bright n’ early at 10 a.m. and there were enough people to feel cool but not too many people that I was like weneedtoleaverightnowfuckthedough. Mom got the chocolate chip dough on a chocolate chip cone, Elise got the plain ole sugar cookie, and my dad nibbled on a little of it all which was impressive since his sweet tooth is nonexistent. I guess when you don’t have a birthday cake there are no candles, right? NAH. THIS PLACE HAS IT ALL. We got some candles and stuck em right in there. 

And the fact we had leftovers to eat during intermission at “Kinky Boots” on Broadway that night when we were taking a break from salivating over Brendan Urie? PERFECTO. Brendan and DŌ. A winning combo and making me feel real good about 22 so far. 

5. SANCTUARY T! 

HA as if the birthday eating ended there. I planned weeks and weeks ahead to have dinner at Sanctuary T on my birthday, as it’s one of my absolute favorite restaurants in the world, and my mom dragged her heels for a while asking if I was “entirely sure I did not want to try somewhere NEW and FRESH” and I stayed strong because Sanc T is my bliss. She regretted that resistance when we sat down in the fucking cute Free People photoshoot setting of this place and got a rose on happy hour, and when the food was brought to the table I pondered how is this place not on every foodie list because it’s all just so GOOD. The truffle-Caesar kale salad is incredible, as the kale is crunchy and earthy which plays off the strong smooth linger of the truffle dressing, and the fish tacos are fried to perfection and topped with pickled root veggies. The fries (also on happy hour!) come with -surprise- truffle aioli, and they are the best fries in NYC. I’m just going to go ahead and make that claim. The burrata was thick but silky and on homemade bread with some olive oil it was straight s-e-x. Slippery and salty and best with an alcoholic drink in arm’s reach.  

There’s nothing bad on this menu. Nothing. So go H A M and eat it allllllll up. It’s in SoHo so it’s a great area to walk around before or after dinner, with amazing classic New York architecture and picturesque streets. Make sure to hit up the Brandy Melville nearby and scoot over to MarieBelle for after-dinner hot chocolate and sweets. 

That will do it for part one of “Natalie Eats NYC”, part two will be up in a couple days!!! While I can write forever, I don’t think y’all want to read forever. So I’ve chunked it up. 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

[nyneofuturists]

The Infinite Wrench Week #16: PHILOPHAGE TOO (For/After Joey Rizzolo)

PHILOPHAGE TOO (For/After Joey Rizzolo) © 2017 Katy-May Hudson

At “Go”, KM kneels in front of Rob, who says, "The Body of Christ," at which point KM opens her mouth. Rob places therein a communion wafer. KM opens her mouth for more, Rob says the line again and feeds her. This happens several times before...

KM: The body of Christ! Mmm (some real-time descriptor). So, What the non-Catholics amongst you must understand is that when someone receives communion, they are consuming the flesh of another human being. Once this wafer gets blessed, it actually becomes...

ROB: ...The Body of Christ.

KM: Amen! [KM eats] Communion is cannibalism.

KM may periodically open her mouth expectantly in the following, and Rob should feed her accordingly. Like she is a little baby bird.

KM: Eleven years ago, Joey Rizzolo performed this exact play, some parts pretty much verbatim. In the original, he touts that the Catholic Church doesn’t want people to enjoy eating Jesus, which is why Eucharist wafers have this Styrofoam cup taste. He thinks it’s normal to wanna eat the ones you love, Jesus included [KM eats], and… I agree! You see, Joey and I had a conversation recently and we realized we have a similar compulsion. It would give us great pleasure to eat our loved ones. Now, were not talking figuratively. We mean actually gnawing on their flesh. We love our loved ones so much, we want to ingest them. Like we ingest Jesus [KM eats]. Now, I’m a vegetarian and I really think my lack of meat consumption has made me all the more ravenous for fantasising about feasting on my husband’s body. I often stare at him from across the room and study his ribs. His ribbies! And I imagine chomping away at his skin, until I’m at the next layer, grinding my teeth against the sinewy bits, munching through all those crunchy veins and stuff, and then getting to the next layer, the juicy delicious plump fatty tissue. And then finally, slurping and sucking on his tiny tasty bones. (beat) I would fill my belly with him, until I carry him around within. Like Jesus. [KM eats]. That’s how much I love my husband.

Sometimes I try to take a little nibble of him, especially when he is resting. Instead of an "I love you too," I often get an, "ouch", “piss off” or "god dammit." [Genuflecting, to God:] Sorry.

[Rob trades the wafers for a glass on a platter covered by a white cloth. He reveals the glass.]

ROB: The Blood of Christ?

Rob reveals a glass of blood red milk. KM nods to Rob.

KM: That’ll do.

KM has a sip of the milk.

KM: If my husband and I are ever in a plane crash, stranded in an arctic wasteland, I’ll eat the other passengers first, for survival. But my hubby? I’ll be saving him. For dessert!

KM finishes all ALL ALLLLLL ALLLLLLLL the milk. Quickly. It probably spills from the sides of her mouth.

Maybe the play ends here, or maybe (consent permitting) as KM does the above, Rob rolls up his sleeve and offers KM he’s elbow. She has a crunch on it. With a mouth full of blood milk. Maybe.

KM: CURTAIN!

[tellywoodtrash]

Look, are the developments of this track a little rushed and unexpected? Yes. Hella. Especially when we're so used to Rikara being so damn slow burn. And I feel the real opportunity to show Omkara's thought process was between Gauri left and he decided to go win her back. But I am so so surprised that people are not liking yesterday's ep and feeling like Omkara's feelings lack depth and are coming outta nowhere? Coz that's so not how I see it.

If there was no depth or determination in his feelings, why would Om, the paragon of truth, the one who raged against Gauri masquerading as Chulbul, go against all his principles and take on the Dilpreet persona? Ok, he left when she decided to marry Ajay, but hasn't Gauri tried to leave many a time too? He's allowed to feel dejected and retreat a bit to lick his wounds. I don't see it as him "dum dabaake bhaagna". Ek toh he already feels guilt and unworthy of her; if she's made the decision to move on in life, should he barge in there and induce more conflict and hurt her feelings and ruin her life even more? His leaving was a statement: that he loves her enough to free her and find the happiness he could never give her, even if it means he's miserable. Regarding his coming back, the Obros have always served as a mirror to each other when one of them has conflicted and bruised feelings, and serve as each other's conscience to do the right thing; and so the trip back was exactly what Om needed to get the courage and determination to come back to Bareilly once again. His expressing his feelings freely and articulately to Anika and ShivRu show that he's clearly given his relationship with Gauri a lot of thought and is absolutely clear on where he stands now. Yes, it could have been shown in the show a little better. But come on, do you want his entire thought process laid out by voiceover ala "Look Who's Talking"??? Things can be inferred from the statements and actions of characters as well. Not everything has to be/CAN BE laid out visually.

The thing that's annoying me the most is the people using Omkara's momentary happiness in the "lafzon ka yeh" scene as the justification for the lack of depth. Yeah that's not how life (and depression) works. Just because something bad is happening in life doesn't mean ki banda har minute kone mein baithke rota hi rahe. Even in the shittiest times of life, there are moments where the clouds part for a second and the sun shines though and you can't help but be happy. And for Om, it's being surrounded by his brothers, the people who love him unconditionally no matter what. To be back with them after so many days, to have those few moments where everything is like the old days, and to smile and laugh doesn't mean that he doesn't care about what's happening wrt Gauri? It's almost like people don't understand that human beings are more nuanced than just being consumed by one emotion allllllll the time, and can regulate their feelings according to the social setting they're in currently? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

I can't help but feel that this was not how it was supposed to happen. I think the DP track was supposed to be longer and it was randomly cut short. Anyways, I don't feel any intensity in Om's love, one moment he is celebrating with his family, and then he says 'he missed Gauri'. We fans have our own theories to console ourselves, but lets face it, by no logic is TV audience going to be convinced. There is no determination/depth in Om's love. I feel everything was rushed for communal SR. :/

…hain?

No determination and depth in Om’s love? He is going to go on his knees to tell her he loves her. He was desperately begging her to give him a chance. He legit confessed that love and prayers have become the same thing for him. The man who lost all his faith in God because of everything in his life was practically saying that if there was any supreme power he now believed in it’s love. Whose love? Her love. Aur kya kare wo? K2 se jump maar ke gire Gauri ke qadmon mein to prove that his love is real? 

And what exact celebration did Omkara do with his family anyway? The Diwali pooja where he didn’t stand for a minute longer than necessary? Where he chased Gauri’s shadow and burned his fingers to save her from fire? Or the Truth or Dare game where he was trying to give his pitiful state a humorous touch to cope with it and failing miserably? If it was the stupid packet dhamaka of Bhavya toh we are watching a daily show on in Indian channel for HEAVEN’S sake! This is the kind of stuff audience likes to see! Little celebratory moments of their fav characters when festivities are going on in real life. 

The only people who aren’t convinced about Omkara’s confession are the staunch Gauri stans. RiKara fans loved it. IB fans praised it. General TV audience got their most dramatic moment of the episode in that confession. Because they don’t over analyze anything. They believe what they see. And what they saw was a man desperate to fix his mistakes and take the first step towards getting his love back. But fine if you can’t see the “depth” or “determination” in it. Mera kya? Imma enjoy today khul ke because I know the best hasn’t happened yet. 

[ruthellisneda]

Paleo? Keto? Slow Carb? Vegan? How to Determine the Perfect Diet For You.

Today we’re gonna get down and dirty and dig into the big diets:

Paleo. Keto. Slow Carb. IF. Vegan. Twinkie (yes this is a thing).

And it all starts with an admission of guilt. Every day, we get multiple emails from people that say something like:

“I know you guys are a paleo blog, but…”

I guess that doesn’t really surprise me. Our “beginner’s guide to the Paleo Diet” has been viewed like 25 million times since I first wrote it.

So I get it. But I have a confession to make. Step into my trust tree.

Outside of a 30 day experiment back in 2011, I haven’t been “Paleo.”

[AUDIBLE GASP]

Seriously, I just heard you gasp.

I have three more truth bombs for you:

I don’t care what cavemen actually ate, nor if the Paleo Diet is historically accurate.

I don’t think it works for a majority of people.

I LOVE the Paleo Diet and have seen it help hundreds of thousands.

I know. “What the hell, Steve!?”

Am I a walking writing contradiction?

Am I flip-flopper who can’t commit?!

For starters, when it comes to health and fitness, flip-flopping is a good thing. It’s called “getting smarter undumber when new information comes to light.”

But that’s irrelevant here.

Why? Because it literally DOESN’T MATTER what a caveman actually ate!

I don’t care if a caveman once ate wheat 30,000 years ago—this is what people rage about on the internet because they need to be angry at something and it’s fun to point out holes in a dogmatic popular approach to nutrition.

So, why do I like the Paleo Diet?

Because of “reality” and “human behavior.”

I like the Paleo Diet, just like I like the Keto Diet.

And Intermittent Fasting, and the Slow Carb Diet.[1]

I even like the vegetarian diet or vegan diet for the right people (with some caveats, which I’ll explain below).

I don’t actually think of the diets above as “diets,” but rather as a Mental Model for how to understand and navigate the food choices we make every day.

And mental models can be the difference between effortless weight loss and frustration.

Today I’m gonna teach you how to determine the diet that is perfect for you.

This is one of the most important articles I think you can read on Nerd Fitness, so make sure you set aside the time to dive in!

Quick note: This MASSIVE article is actually the exact philosophy we incorporate into our uber popular 1-on-1 Coaching Program. We cut through the crap, learn your situation, and then help you adjust your nutrition each month until you reach your goals.

Read this monster article, and if you want expert guidance and accountability, click on the image below to schedule a free call with our team to learn more.

How to Eat For Healthy Weight Loss

#1 – Eat fewer calories than you burn every day.

#2 – Want to also be healthy? Eat mostly real food.

Full stop.

Want to KEEP the weight off?

Add #3: Do those two things consistently for a decade.

This solution will get you like 90% of the way towards a killer physique and a consistently healthy checkup at the doctor.

Mix in the right training and you’ll be 99% of the way there.

The problem is that pesky things like “reality” and “genetics” and “human behavior” keep getting in the way.

It’s why everybody goes on diet after diet after diet, gaining and losing the same 10-50 lbs.

Most people can only stick with a diet for a few weeks before they’re so miserable that they can’t wait to go back to how they were eating before.

They count calories and allow themselves to eat “health food” like low-fat ice cream and low-fat chips and just two Oreos. These people are so nutritionally deficient—eating calorie-heavy, unfulfilling foods—that they struggle to stay under their allotment of calories for they day. D’oh.

To make matters worse, even if they’re counting calories, they’re probably overeating without realizing it.[2]

This is why people get so dang frustrated when they go on a calorie-restricted diet, track their food, and still don’t lose weight. The only explanation must be that their bodies must have slow metabolisms.

Watch this quick video of a person who believes she has a slow metabolism[3].

It turns out the exact opposite is true. Crap.:

Despite everything stacked against us, Nerd Fitness is FULL of success stories of people who have lost 100s of pounds and kept the weight off. Here are a few dramatic ones (click on the images to read their full stories):

What gives?

Nerd Fitness doesn’t just tell you what to eat. Any Google search can tell you that.

Though we help there too.

At Nerd Fitness, we’re helping you learn HOW to think about eating too.

And that’s the difference maker.

Mental Models for the Win

The Nerd Fitness community is full of ridiculously smart people. Smart people that have tried in vain to lose weight for years or decades.

It’s because we’re fighting a brutal, uphill battle.

For many of us, food is way more than fuel: it’s a coping mechanism. It’s how our moms showed us love. It’s what we turn to when we’re happy or sad. It’s the only thing that provides us with a small bit of happiness in a boring existence.

Add in the fact that unhealthy food has been designed in a laboratory to be so delicious that it must be consumed in mass quantities, and trying to eat “just a few” of something is nearly impossible.

Next, add a dash of “I am obsessive and if I start to track calories I’m going to drive myself insane,” “even if I track my calories I’ll probably underreport how many calories I eat by at least 20%,” and “there is so much information that this all appears so overwhelming, so it’s a lost cause.”

This is why Mental Models are so useful (hat tip to my friend Shane over at Farnam Street Blog who taught me about Mental Models). I’m gonna borrow the concept here for nutrition.

Enter a MENTAL MODEL DIET:

Paleo Diet: If a caveman didn’t eat it, neither should you. “Okay, what would a caveman eat? Probably things that grow in the ground, so vegetables and fruit, and also animals. They wouldn’t eat candy or bread or pasta or drink soda.”

Keto Diet: Keep your carb intake under 5% (or more extreme, 10 grams, for example) of your total calories so your body has to burn fat for fuel instead of carbs and sugar. “Time to learn how many carbs are in everything I eat, and start tracking.”

Slow Carb Diet: Eat legumes, protein, veggies. “Time to learn how to make food that only fits the slow carb model. At least until cheat day!”

Intermittent Fasting: Only eat between 12pm and 8pm. Occasionally do 24 hour fasts. “Okay, so I’ll just skip breakfast. That’s one less meal I have to think about.”

In each of the above options, there are a few similarities that make them such trendy/popular diet choices. 

For the sake of simplicity, we’re going to hold off on digging into the health benefits that apply to a small percentage of the population on certain diets (Keto to treat epilepsy, Paleo/Keto for Hashimoto’s Disease, identifying a gluten intolerance, etc), we’re going to focus on the reasons MOST people pick these diets.

They’re simple to comprehend and will probably help you lose weight:

#1) They all will result in you eating fewer calories (usually).

If you follow the Paleo Diet, you are eliminating some of the most calorie dense, nutritionally deficient, unhealthy foods out there. No more soda, no candy, no bread, no pasta, no sugar, no dairy.

If you follow the Keto Diet, you must track your carb intake, which means you’re going to also learn how many calories are in everything else you eat. You’re also essentially eliminating an entire macronutrient from your diet that’s notorious for keeping people overweight.

If you follow the Slow Carb Diet, you learn about which foods you can eat and which foods you can’t eat: yes to beans, no to dairy and grains. Like Paleo or Keto, you’re eliminating massively unhealthy foods from your diet, which will most likely result in weight loss.

If you do Intermittent Fasting, you’re eliminating 1/3rd of your meals for the day! Let’s say you normally ate an 800 calorie breakfast, 800 calorie lunch, and 800 calorie dinner. If you SKIP breakfast, that means you could eat larger lunches and dinners (1000 calories each) and still end up eating 400 calories less per day on average. That’s enough for 3-4 pounds of weight loss per month!

#2) You can answer “YES” or “NO” to adherence.

Sure, it would be great if you could weigh every element of food that you eat, and track each meal in a spreadsheet and KNOW you’re tracking each calorie and macronutrient correctly.

And for some people looking to get to bodybuilder levels of bodyfat, this level of perfection is required.

However, for the rest of us, working regular jobs, with kids, and lives, this shit is wayyyyy too much.

So these mental models are so damn helpful because they can simplify the overly complicated and allow us to get out of our own heads.

These Mental Model Diets require compliance and consistency. In each instance, there’s a very specific answer you can say every day, and a question you can ask yourself with each meal.

As our favorite green Jedi Master once said, “Do or do not. There is no try.”:

Paleo Diet: “Would a caveman eat this?” Yes or no.

Keto Diet: “Am I in ketosis?” Yes or no. You can even pee on strips to see if you are in ketosis.

Slow Carb Diet: “Did I only eat slow carb foods today?” Yes or no.

Intermittent Fasting: “Did I skip breakfast today? Did I stop eating after my feeding window?” Yes or no.

In each of these examples above, it removes ALLLLLLLL of the fluff, simplifies the heck out of our complex physiology and a complex problem. And it allows us to stop fooling ourselves.

With the mental models above, we have rules and a framework within which we can operate. It starts with black and white YES or NO questions we can ask.

We know what (or when) we can and can’t eat.

It’s a lot easier to fool ourselves when we are sneaking bites of cookies, having an extra roll at dinner, drinking a larger soda during a long night at work, eating some of our kid’s Halloween candy, and overeating while absentmindedly watching television.

When the rules are black and white, yes or no, there’s no place to hide.

Which means we need to get our act together if we’re going to stick with something.

We start to understand the quality and quantity of things we are putting in our pie holes. We start to dig into our relationship with food.

And in MANY cases, we start to lose some weight (again, see #1 above); this starts to make us feel better about ourselves. And we chase that feeling.

We create a positive virtuous cycle where you lose weight, get complimented, wake up not feeling like crap, look forward to exercising, and over time we become permanently changed, healthier, happier people.

In a similar vein, The Whole 30 Diet works for many people (“I only eat Whole 30 foods for the next 30 days”), but it will not result in long term changes if somebody goes back to their original unhealthy diet after the 30 days are up.

Temporary changes = temporary results.

#3) They can be done incorrectly, are tough to stick with long term, and won’t work for everybody.

Depending on our genetics, upbringing, lifestyle choices, addiction to sugar, relationship with food, what foods satiate us, etc., some of these options might work better for us than others.

As mentioned above, if ANY of the above nutritional strategies are done temporarily, they will result in temporary changes. This is how the majority of people go through life: gaining and losing the same 15-30 (or 50, or 100) pounds as they go on a diet and off a diet.

It’s a rollercoaster.

And not the good kind of rollercoaster with flips and corkscrews and probably involving Batman. It’s more like one of those rickety old wooden coasters that ruins your back.

Those rollercoasters suck, and so does putting your body through crazy weight loss extremes, up down, yes no, yo-yo.

Although these Mental Model diets can help people lose weight, they are often done for short time periods to get quick results.

And that’s only if people can actually stick with them long enough to get results! 

Let me explain.

Why These Diets Probably Won’t Work For You

There are two main reasons why these diets won’t work for you.

Some of them are more strict, have more rules, and require you to be more militant in your approach. And even if you are strict in applying the rules, you can STILL do the diets incorrectly and gain weight because of this whole concept of thermodynamics.

Don’t get mad at me. Get mad at science.[4]

#1) You Can Do These Mental Model Diets Incorrectly:

Paleo: I know people who “go paleo” but eat just as many calories as they did in the past: they are eating paleo cookies, buckets of dried fruit (soooo much sugar and carbs), sweet potatoes, and so on. This person will be frustrated when they don’t lose weight.

Keto: If you go Keto but eat 5,000 calories per day, you’re gonna put on weight. Do this while sitting on your ass not doing heavy strength training, and that weight will be all fat.

Intermittent Fasting: If you do intermittent fasting but eat 2,000 calorie lunches and dinners, you’re gonna put on weight. Hell, I put on probably 30 pounds while doing IF, which was my plan.

Slow Carb: If you go slow carb but eat 6,000 calories of beans and other slow-carb worthy foods, you’re gonna gain weight (and have extreme flatulence).

#2) Sticking with these Mental Model Diets for the long haul can be tough

The Paleo Diet and the Keto diet often come up dead last when it comes to a “List of Best Diets.”[5]

Now, the people writing those lists certainly have agendas, are trying to deal with the general population, adherence, a number of other factors, and more. In addition, there just haven’t been enough long term studies on some of these newer diet strategies.

Oh, and factor in anybody too that wants to get page views by taking shots and tearing down whatever becomes popular. We’ll call this the “hipster phenomenon.” I look forward to the vitriolic backlash to Keto Diets over the next 3 years.

And you never know who to trust. Coca-Cola famously used to bribe scientists to conduct studies claiming sugar was healthy.

So why the hate for diets that have changed millions of lives and will probably help you lose weight?

The reason these diets have poor compliance is because most people will abandon them within days/weeks after starting them:

If somebody is following Paleo or Keto, they’re gonna go through “carb flu” symptoms as their body has to learn to burn fat instead of carbs for fuel. Their body can revolt against this, making them miserable for days or weeks.

Many give up and go back to sweet, comforting carbs. I imagine this happens to a majority of people.

For others, they might make it past the physiological challenges but still give up on the date. They hate having to be the difficult one at barbecues, they hate weighing food or counting carbs, and find the diets too restrictive to fit into their lives.

Compliance and elimination of certain foods can be really challenging, especially for people with families, who travel for work, and aren’t in control of the lunch and dinner options.

In an EXTREME example of a Mental Model diet done for publicity, a professor went on the Twinkie Diet (he ONLY ate Twinkies) and lost 27 pounds.[6]

Disregarding the health implications of only eating Twinkies, I can’t imagine saying “this is a diet I can stick with for the next decade.”

#3) People think “All or Nothing” and quickly abandon the diet when compliance fails.

If you are somebody who is on a Keto Diet or Paleo, you have a very specific set of rules to follow. If you accidentally slip up:

Oh crap, that food had more carbs than I realized, I am now out of ketosis and my world has ended.

Oh crap, I didn’t realize this was dairy. I have now brought shame upon my paleo heritage and must attone for my sins.

Life happens. Shit happens. And with these diets, we dumb humans have this unique ability to take one tiny mistake and allow it to ruin the next decade:

“I ate a breakfast that wasn’t Paleo, today is ruined and so this month. I’ll try again next month (even though it’s only the 5th). Oh look, a pile of carbs! NOM NOM NOM.”

“I got knocked out of Ketosis, which makes me a loser that can’t stick with anything and I hate myself. What’s the point? Who cares that I was in ketosis and lost 30 pounds. I’ll try again later. Now back to my regularly scheduled program of carbs and carbs and carbs topped with carbs!”

No wonder 60+% of America is overweight! We’re surrounded by calorie-dense, nutritionally-deficient foods designed to make us overeat. We’re also surrounded by diet plans and products that promise fast results with no effort. We sabotage ourselves by thinking “99% complaint” is a failure and thus it’s a quick slide back to “0% compliant.”

It’s for these reasons I LOVE the IDEA of the Mental Model Diets above, but know that they’re not for everybody. They’re actually not for most people.

I think they can be a valuable starting point to help somebody simplify their decision-making process and educate themselves about the food they’re eating.

These Mental Model Diets can help people identify certain nutritional deficiencies or imbalances somebody might have, or unknown allergies.

They can help people identify sugar addictions, gluten intolerances, emotional triggers for food, and other valuable information to uncover. And as..

https://ift.tt/2kLaEvh

[almajonesnjna]

Paleo? Keto? Slow Carb? Vegan? How to Determine the Perfect Diet For You.

Today we’re gonna get down and dirty and dig into the big diets:

Paleo. Keto. Slow Carb. IF. Vegan. Twinkie (yes this is a thing).

And it all starts with an admission of guilt. Every day, we get multiple emails from people that say something like:

“I know you guys are a paleo blog, but…”

I guess that doesn’t really surprise me. Our “beginner’s guide to the Paleo Diet” has been viewed like 25 million times since I first wrote it.

So I get it. But I have a confession to make. Step into my trust tree.

Outside of a 30 day experiment back in 2011, I haven’t been “Paleo.”

[AUDIBLE GASP]

Seriously, I just heard you gasp.

I have three more truth bombs for you:

I don’t care what cavemen actually ate, nor if the Paleo Diet is historically accurate.

I don’t think it works for a majority of people.

I LOVE the Paleo Diet and have seen it help hundreds of thousands.

I know. “What the hell, Steve!?”

Am I a walking writing contradiction?

Am I flip-flopper who can’t commit?!

For starters, when it comes to health and fitness, flip-flopping is a good thing. It’s called “getting smarter undumber when new information comes to light.”

But that’s irrelevant here.

Why? Because it literally DOESN’T MATTER what a caveman actually ate!

I don’t care if a caveman once ate wheat 30,000 years ago—this is what people rage about on the internet because they need to be angry at something and it’s fun to point out holes in a dogmatic popular approach to nutrition.

So, why do I like the Paleo Diet?

Because of “reality” and “human behavior.”

I like the Paleo Diet, just like I like the Keto Diet.

And Intermittent Fasting, and the Slow Carb Diet.[1]

I even like the vegetarian diet or vegan diet for the right people (with some caveats, which I’ll explain below).

I don’t actually think of the diets above as “diets,” but rather as a Mental Model for how to understand and navigate the food choices we make every day.

And mental models can be the difference between effortless weight loss and frustration.

Today I’m gonna teach you how to determine the diet that is perfect for you.

This is one of the most important articles I think you can read on Nerd Fitness, so make sure you set aside the time to dive in!

Quick note: This MASSIVE article is actually the exact philosophy we incorporate into our uber popular 1-on-1 Coaching Program. We cut through the crap, learn your situation, and then help you adjust your nutrition each month until you reach your goals.

Read this monster article, and if you want expert guidance and accountability, click on the image below to schedule a free call with our team to learn more.

How to Eat For Healthy Weight Loss

#1 – Eat fewer calories than you burn every day.

#2 – Want to also be healthy? Eat mostly real food.

Full stop.

Want to KEEP the weight off?

Add #3: Do those two things consistently for a decade.

This solution will get you like 90% of the way towards a killer physique and a consistently healthy checkup at the doctor.

Mix in the right training and you’ll be 99% of the way there.

The problem is that pesky things like “reality” and “genetics” and “human behavior” keep getting in the way.

It’s why everybody goes on diet after diet after diet, gaining and losing the same 10-50 lbs.

Most people can only stick with a diet for a few weeks before they’re so miserable that they can’t wait to go back to how they were eating before.

They count calories and allow themselves to eat “health food” like low-fat ice cream and low-fat chips and just two Oreos. These people are so nutritionally deficient—eating calorie-heavy, unfulfilling foods—that they struggle to stay under their allotment of calories for they day. D’oh.

To make matters worse, even if they’re counting calories, they’re probably overeating without realizing it.[2]

This is why people get so dang frustrated when they go on a calorie-restricted diet, track their food, and still don’t lose weight. The only explanation must be that their bodies must have slow metabolisms.

Watch this quick video of a person who believes she has a slow metabolism[3].

It turns out the exact opposite is true. Crap.:

Despite everything stacked against us, Nerd Fitness is FULL of success stories of people who have lost 100s of pounds and kept the weight off. Here are a few dramatic ones (click on the images to read their full stories):

What gives?

Nerd Fitness doesn’t just tell you what to eat. Any Google search can tell you that.

Though we help there too.

At Nerd Fitness, we’re helping you learn HOW to think about eating too.

And that’s the difference maker.

Mental Models for the Win

The Nerd Fitness community is full of ridiculously smart people. Smart people that have tried in vain to lose weight for years or decades.

It’s because we’re fighting a brutal, uphill battle.

For many of us, food is way more than fuel: it’s a coping mechanism. It’s how our moms showed us love. It’s what we turn to when we’re happy or sad. It’s the only thing that provides us with a small bit of happiness in a boring existence.

Add in the fact that unhealthy food has been designed in a laboratory to be so delicious that it must be consumed in mass quantities, and trying to eat “just a few” of something is nearly impossible.

Next, add a dash of “I am obsessive and if I start to track calories I’m going to drive myself insane,” “even if I track my calories I’ll probably underreport how many calories I eat by at least 20%,” and “there is so much information that this all appears so overwhelming, so it’s a lost cause.”

This is why Mental Models are so useful (hat tip to my friend Shane over at Farnam Street Blog who taught me about Mental Models). I’m gonna borrow the concept here for nutrition.

Enter a MENTAL MODEL DIET:

Paleo Diet: If a caveman didn’t eat it, neither should you. “Okay, what would a caveman eat? Probably things that grow in the ground, so vegetables and fruit, and also animals. They wouldn’t eat candy or bread or pasta or drink soda.”

Keto Diet: Keep your carb intake under 5% (or more extreme, 10 grams, for example) of your total calories so your body has to burn fat for fuel instead of carbs and sugar. “Time to learn how many carbs are in everything I eat, and start tracking.”

Slow Carb Diet: Eat legumes, protein, veggies. “Time to learn how to make food that only fits the slow carb model. At least until cheat day!”

Intermittent Fasting: Only eat between 12pm and 8pm. Occasionally do 24 hour fasts. “Okay, so I’ll just skip breakfast. That’s one less meal I have to think about.”

In each of the above options, there are a few similarities that make them such trendy/popular diet choices. 

For the sake of simplicity, we’re going to hold off on digging into the health benefits that apply to a small percentage of the population on certain diets (Keto to treat epilepsy, Paleo/Keto for Hashimoto’s Disease, identifying a gluten intolerance, etc), we’re going to focus on the reasons MOST people pick these diets.

They’re simple to comprehend and will probably help you lose weight:

#1) They all will result in you eating fewer calories (usually).

If you follow the Paleo Diet, you are eliminating some of the most calorie dense, nutritionally deficient, unhealthy foods out there. No more soda, no candy, no bread, no pasta, no sugar, no dairy.

If you follow the Keto Diet, you must track your carb intake, which means you’re going to also learn how many calories are in everything else you eat. You’re also essentially eliminating an entire macronutrient from your diet that’s notorious for keeping people overweight.

If you follow the Slow Carb Diet, you learn about which foods you can eat and which foods you can’t eat: yes to beans, no to dairy and grains. Like Paleo or Keto, you’re eliminating massively unhealthy foods from your diet, which will most likely result in weight loss.

If you do Intermittent Fasting, you’re eliminating 1/3rd of your meals for the day! Let’s say you normally ate an 800 calorie breakfast, 800 calorie lunch, and 800 calorie dinner. If you SKIP breakfast, that means you could eat larger lunches and dinners (1000 calories each) and still end up eating 400 calories less per day on average. That’s enough for 3-4 pounds of weight loss per month!

#2) You can answer “YES” or “NO” to adherence.

Sure, it would be great if you could weigh every element of food that you eat, and track each meal in a spreadsheet and KNOW you’re tracking each calorie and macronutrient correctly.

And for some people looking to get to bodybuilder levels of bodyfat, this level of perfection is required.

However, for the rest of us, working regular jobs, with kids, and lives, this shit is wayyyyy too much.

So these mental models are so damn helpful because they can simplify the overly complicated and allow us to get out of our own heads.

These Mental Model Diets require compliance and consistency. In each instance, there’s a very specific answer you can say every day, and a question you can ask yourself with each meal.

As our favorite green Jedi Master once said, “Do or do not. There is no try.”:

Paleo Diet: “Would a caveman eat this?” Yes or no.

Keto Diet: “Am I in ketosis?” Yes or no. You can even pee on strips to see if you are in ketosis.

Slow Carb Diet: “Did I only eat slow carb foods today?” Yes or no.

Intermittent Fasting: “Did I skip breakfast today? Did I stop eating after my feeding window?” Yes or no.

In each of these examples above, it removes ALLLLLLLL of the fluff, simplifies the heck out of our complex physiology and a complex problem. And it allows us to stop fooling ourselves.

With the mental models above, we have rules and a framework within which we can operate. It starts with black and white YES or NO questions we can ask.

We know what (or when) we can and can’t eat.

It’s a lot easier to fool ourselves when we are sneaking bites of cookies, having an extra roll at dinner, drinking a larger soda during a long night at work, eating some of our kid’s Halloween candy, and overeating while absentmindedly watching television.

When the rules are black and white, yes or no, there’s no place to hide.

Which means we need to get our act together if we’re going to stick with something.

We start to understand the quality and quantity of things we are putting in our pie holes. We start to dig into our relationship with food.

And in MANY cases, we start to lose some weight (again, see #1 above); this starts to make us feel better about ourselves. And we chase that feeling.

We create a positive virtuous cycle where you lose weight, get complimented, wake up not feeling like crap, look forward to exercising, and over time we become permanently changed, healthier, happier people.

In a similar vein, The Whole 30 Diet works for many people (“I only eat Whole 30 foods for the next 30 days”), but it will not result in long term changes if somebody goes back to their original unhealthy diet after the 30 days are up.

Temporary changes = temporary results.

#3) They can be done incorrectly, are tough to stick with long term, and won’t work for everybody.

Depending on our genetics, upbringing, lifestyle choices, addiction to sugar, relationship with food, what foods satiate us, etc., some of these options might work better for us than others.

As mentioned above, if ANY of the above nutritional strategies are done temporarily, they will result in temporary changes. This is how the majority of people go through life: gaining and losing the same 15-30 (or 50, or 100) pounds as they go on a diet and off a diet.

It’s a rollercoaster.

And not the good kind of rollercoaster with flips and corkscrews and probably involving Batman. It’s more like one of those rickety old wooden coasters that ruins your back.

Those rollercoasters suck, and so does putting your body through crazy weight loss extremes, up down, yes no, yo-yo.

Although these Mental Model diets can help people lose weight, they are often done for short time periods to get quick results.

And that’s only if people can actually stick with them long enough to get results! 

Let me explain.

Why These Diets Probably Won’t Work For You

There are two main reasons why these diets won’t work for you.

Some of them are more strict, have more rules, and require you to be more militant in your approach. And even if you are strict in applying the rules, you can STILL do the diets incorrectly and gain weight because of this whole concept of thermodynamics.

Don’t get mad at me. Get mad at science.[4]

#1) You Can Do These Mental Model Diets Incorrectly:

Paleo: I know people who “go paleo” but eat just as many calories as they did in the past: they are eating paleo cookies, buckets of dried fruit (soooo much sugar and carbs), sweet potatoes, and so on. This person will be frustrated when they don’t lose weight.

Keto: If you go Keto but eat 5,000 calories per day, you’re gonna put on weight. Do this while sitting on your ass not doing heavy strength training, and that weight will be all fat.

Intermittent Fasting: If you do intermittent fasting but eat 2,000 calorie lunches and dinners, you’re gonna put on weight. Hell, I put on probably 30 pounds while doing IF, which was my plan.

Slow Carb: If you go slow carb but eat 6,000 calories of beans and other slow-carb worthy foods, you’re gonna gain weight (and have extreme flatulence).

#2) Sticking with these Mental Model Diets for the long haul can be tough

The Paleo Diet and the Keto diet often come up dead last when it comes to a “List of Best Diets.”[5]

Now, the people writing those lists certainly have agendas, are trying to deal with the general population, adherence, a number of other factors, and more. In addition, there just haven’t been enough long term studies on some of these newer diet strategies.

Oh, and factor in anybody too that wants to get page views by taking shots and tearing down whatever becomes popular. We’ll call this the “hipster phenomenon.” I look forward to the vitriolic backlash to Keto Diets over the next 3 years.

And you never know who to trust. Coca-Cola famously used to bribe scientists to conduct studies claiming sugar was healthy.

So why the hate for diets that have changed millions of lives and will probably help you lose weight?

The reason these diets have poor compliance is because most people will abandon them within days/weeks after starting them:

If somebody is following Paleo or Keto, they’re gonna go through “carb flu” symptoms as their body has to learn to burn fat instead of carbs for fuel. Their body can revolt against this, making them miserable for days or weeks.

Many give up and go back to sweet, comforting carbs. I imagine this happens to a majority of people.

For others, they might make it past the physiological challenges but still give up on the date. They hate having to be the difficult one at barbecues, they hate weighing food or counting carbs, and find the diets too restrictive to fit into their lives.

Compliance and elimination of certain foods can be really challenging, especially for people with families, who travel for work, and aren’t in control of the lunch and dinner options.

In an EXTREME example of a Mental Model diet done for publicity, a professor went on the Twinkie Diet (he ONLY ate Twinkies) and lost 27 pounds.[6]

Disregarding the health implications of only eating Twinkies, I can’t imagine saying “this is a diet I can stick with for the next decade.”

#3) People think “All or Nothing” and quickly abandon the diet when compliance fails.

If you are somebody who is on a Keto Diet or Paleo, you have a very specific set of rules to follow. If you accidentally slip up:

Oh crap, that food had more carbs than I realized, I am now out of ketosis and my world has ended.

Oh crap, I didn’t realize this was dairy. I have now brought shame upon my paleo heritage and must attone for my sins.

Life happens. Shit happens. And with these diets, we dumb humans have this unique ability to take one tiny mistake and allow it to ruin the next decade:

“I ate a breakfast that wasn’t Paleo, today is ruined and so this month. I’ll try again next month (even though it’s only the 5th). Oh look, a pile of carbs! NOM NOM NOM.”

“I got knocked out of Ketosis, which makes me a loser that can’t stick with anything and I hate myself. What’s the point? Who cares that I was in ketosis and lost 30 pounds. I’ll try again later. Now back to my regularly scheduled program of carbs and carbs and carbs topped with carbs!”

No wonder 60+% of America is overweight! We’re surrounded by calorie-dense, nutritionally-deficient foods designed to make us overeat. We’re also surrounded by diet plans and products that promise fast results with no effort. We sabotage ourselves by thinking “99% complaint” is a failure and thus it’s a quick slide back to “0% compliant.”

It’s for these reasons I LOVE the IDEA of the Mental Model Diets above, but know that they’re not for everybody. They’re actually not for most people.

I think they can be a valuable starting point to help somebody simplify their decision-making process and educate themselves about the food they’re eating.

These Mental Model Diets can help people identify certain nutritional deficiencies or imbalances somebody might have, or unknown allergies.

They can help people identify sugar addictions, gluten intolerances, emotional triggers for food, and other valuable information to uncover. And as..

https://ift.tt/2kLaEvh