#$725 FUCKING DOLLARS

[bloodanddiscoballs]

[duckulamoved]

Livable wage is a huge topic of discussion. Because we want these minumum wage jobs to pay an actual livable wage. The problem is, say fifteen dollars is the baseline for a livable wage, it’s STILL not livable with any sort of min. wage job. Because for the most part a lot of people are hired on a parttime basis. Give it an average of 27 hours a week, that 15 still isn’t making it far. Thats roughly 810 a week before taxes (which unrelated is the most bass ackwards bullshit concept). That’s. MAYBE rent if you’re in a place with a low cost of living. (Where I’m at my rent is 725, but it doesn’t include electric and gas. And I’m in the median of apartment complexes in my area. So many of the quote unquote nicer ones and I use that loosely are like 8-1k for a one bedroom. Which is also fucked up). Then you gotta worry about all the other bills. And even if it’s just you as a single person, that second biweekly 810 isn’t doing much. For example, excluding taxes, for me my major bills (that’s Apartment, Car Insurance and Payment, Gas, Phone, and Internet) would kick me down to about 375 to coast by the rest of the month. That doesn’t include smaller bills like streaming subs or gas (steadily rising in price) or electric, which is a variable bill and won’t be seen til the end of the month. Therefore, 15 still not enough and two jobs still a necessity. Which is absolute bullshit. 

And not that i have to worry about it here but inb4 someone comes whining about lazy millenials wanting everything handed to them no. I would just love to not have to work twelve hour work days DAYLY to get by because I really love to get my full eight hours and you know, cook food. 

[elonlovesyou]

As someone with an immunocompromised and at risk mother who would be forced to go back to work and potentially contract the virus,

Elon Musk does not care about you. He is not saying these things because he knows the lockdown is causing people to lose their jobs and struggle financially. He wants to “free America” because he’s a fucking business man.

Take a look at everything going on with Tesla and Musks’ $725 million dollar bonus. You can’t look me in the eye and tell me that’s not the reason for his little tantrum.

He does not care about you, his employees, nor does he give a shit about America. He does not give a fuck about anyone else except himself.

The “smartest man in the world” is a fucking moron when it comes to morale.

I’m still a fan of Spacex and Tesla, but god this is so fucking moronic.

[purplesurveys]

725

Your name? Robyn. Age? Just turned 22. Ugh, I’ve finally reached the point where future ages – other than 30/40/50 etc – won’t be much of a milestone anymore. I can hear Monica Geller tell me, “welcome to the real world, it sucks.” Gender? Identify as female. Ethnic background? I usually just say Filipino to make it easier but technically I’m mostly Tagalog with a bit of Mangyan and Ilokano and I think Bulakeño? in me. What do you like the most about your ethnic background? It’s hard to find anything to be proud of from being Filipino sksksk I like our cuisine I guess? Especially the seafood?

The least? It’s not something I dislike directly about our own background, because what I like the least is the hundreds of years of colonization by four different nations that led to the near-complete wipeout of our native culture and the severe colonial effects that followed. The reason I find it so hard to rack my brain for stuff about our ‘ethnic background’ is because everything about it has already been penetrated by Spanish, English, Japanese, or American influence, even down to how well I can speak English right now. It’s almost impossible to look for something that’s ours. Who is your favorite golf player? I’ve never liked watching golf. Whats your favorite kind of gold? (White, Yellow, Rose, Traditional) Rose gold looks pretty. Would you rather wear turquoise pants or purple? Highkey would not wear either of these but if it came down to it, purple. Would you ever go on a jungle safari? I kind of already did. It was a lot of fun and I would rather keep going to safaris if I wanted to see wild animals as it’s a much lesser evil than zoos. If you saw a UFO what would you do? Hope my fingers are quick enough and immediately take a video. What color is your mailbox? We don’t have one. Mailmen just place it by the handle of our screen door. Are you taller than your Mom? No, I’m the smallest one in the family. Who is your meanest friend? I never really counted Patrice as a friend but she’s been the least nice acquaintance I remember having. Her attitude is actually the reason I hadn’t seen her as a friend, so that said I wouldn’t really be befriending anyone who I thought isn’t very nice. Have you ever thought about suicide? Yeah, well I’m not exactly the most mentally well person durrrr. I don’t think of it as often as I used to, but it’ll cross my mind more or less once a month. Have you ever broken a pinata? I’ve never had that experience before actually. I’ve only seen it in cartoons. Who loves Orange Soda? I don’t like soda, period. Where did you go the last time you used public transportation? I dunno if it counts because the jeep just goes around the campus hahaha but I took a jeep coming from CAL going to CMC, my home college. My dad accidentally drove the car I was gonna use that day so I had to book a Grab (our local Uber; also I can’t do public transpo for long distances hence the private car, heh) going to school, and then the campus jeeps to go from one class to another. If you were to start a band what would you name it? Never hire me to name stuff. Would you rather spend a year in the abyss or outer space? Outer space. It’s where I’ve always wanted to go anyway. I fear for my sanity if I wind up in the abyss. Do you know someone who has shot off a part of their own body? No but I know someone who had been shot (or stabbed? I can’t remember but he was attacked); it was my Kuya’s close friend. What TV shows stick out from your childhood? Mr. Bean, Pokemon, SpongeBob, Jimmy Neutron, Drake and Josh, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That’s so Raven, to name a few. What is/was for dinner tonight? No idea yet. My dad usually whips something up at the last minute but it always turns out so so good. What’s really the best cure for a hangover? FRIED CHICKEN and I will die on this hill. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Oooh I don’t think that’s been served to me before actually. I’m not opposed to trying them though cause broccoli’s my favorite vegetable. How many cavities do you have? I had a couple before but they’ve since been fixed at the dentist. Have you ever given money to a bum? Yes I always give them money ranging from ₱10 to ₱20, and biscuits if I have some in my bag, if they knock on my window. If you found 100 dollars on the floor of a church what would ya do with it? If I found it in a church I’d absolutely run the fuck away with the money lmao. Is your head a fun place to be in? I’m a bit of a workaholic and am always thinking about the next thing to accomplish, so tbh I imagine it looking like Spongebob’s brain HAHAHAHA as in exactly this shot

What is your favorite word? Poignant to me sounds and looks the way it means, which is so satisfying. Why is going to poop such a social taboo? We covered a bit of this in my anthropology class last semester and our prof shared a theory that says our body is in and of itself clean but once substances exit the body they’re seen as impure and already dirty - which is why we’ll have no problem talking about the circulatory system but many tend to faint if they cut their finger too much and see blood leaking out of them. Same explanation goes with poop, saliva, sweat, etc. I’m too lazy to check my notes if every bit of this is accurate, but the impure/dirty is the one I remember to be correct. Who is your worst enemy? Don’t really like the idea of enemies per se but after Marielle betrayed my trust twice I vowed to never speak with her again, and I never have. When was the last time you passed gas? I don’t like farting. If I feel one coming I suppress it on purpose. Do you eat raw hot dogs? No, that sounds so nasty. Do you ever speak out loud what you should be typing? Eh, sometimes and only if I’m by myself. It’s not a habit though. Do you own a squirt gun? We call them a water gun here but it used to be one of my favorite toys from childhood. I don’t own one anymore as I largely don’t need them. Do you like the Subway $5 footlong? I don’t really eat Subway. What is the last thing you ate with Marshmallow in it? Hate marshmallows. I always remove it if it had been added to the food I’m eating. Would you rather live in a shack on the beach or a mansion in Ohio? I love you beach, but I’m taking the damn mansion lol. Do you believe that zombies could really invade the Earth? I don’t think zombies could ever surface naturally but at some point in the distant future, when technology and human knowledge advance enough and if someone was ambitious enough to use such knowledge for the worse, I feel like some chemical or substance causing someone to become a zombie could be made. Idk, people have come up with crazy shit from science that were initially thought to be impossible so for me I’m not ruling out zombies or at least a milder version of them haha. If you were to buy a boat what would you name it? Margo, as an homage to Margo Martindale’s role from BoJack Horseman. Who is your internet provider? PLDT. What has the tv show two and a half men taught you? Nothing, because I’ve never watched an episode. What’s something you’re not supposed to be doing right now? Not thinking about my unfinished thesis. I should definitely be thinking about it right now lol. What’s hotter topless or pantless? A bit TMI considering the time ksksks but topless for me. What would you do if you found a four leaf clover? I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean (but I wanna say it means good luck?) so maybe I’ll just take a photo of it heh. Miami Dolphins or NY Jets? I don’t even know what sport these teams belong to. What is your favorite kind of instant popcorn? I don’t like popcorn, so it’s a pass for me. Do you pay attention to the expiration dates on food? Yeah I check on them quite often since I once had a terrible experience drinking spoiled milk; but I’ve also been told by my dad that the expiration dates don’t necessarily mean spoilage and molds and all that nasty crap, and that the date just means by when the product’s quality will slowly start to decrease, like if chips start to get tougher to chew or if a chocolate bar becomes less sweet. It’s a source of relief, but I’m still paranoid about expiration dates overall. What ringtone is on your phone? Just the ones Apple provides. What odd thing do you wish you were doing right now? Driving in circles around the village just to enjoy the outside world :( Are you a smoker? Socially. How do you feel about not being able to smoke in a lot of bars? I don’t mind it. I’m not desperate to smoke ever.

[eldritchsurveys]

725.

Do you have any allergies? >> Nope.

Do you have any hormone problems? >> No.

Do you take any medications daily? >> I take the Pill daily and also CBD, which I’m basically using as medication.

Do you take vitamins? >> No.

What languages do you speak? >> Just English.

Do you know anyone who is colorblind? >> Maybe.

What's the best thing that's ever happened to you? >> ...

Have you ever thought you were going to die? >> Yes.

Have you ever had an allergic reaction scare? >> Nope.

What bones have you broken? >> None.

Do you wish you had the power to switch off and on your emotions? >> No. I wish I had the power to deal with my emotions in a healthy fashion.

What are some news stories that have stuck with you? >> JFK Jr’s death happened when I was like ten years old or something, and for some reason that stuck with me. I remember drawing a picture of some kind of flower, like you’d put on a coffin, while the news report was playing. Some shit just hits weird when you’re a kid, I guess.

Have you ever been in extreme pain that you would rate a 10? If so, what was it from? >> I’ve always had really bad period cramps, bad enough that I would just straight up lose all sense of myself for hours because the pain was so bad that my brain just checked out. It’s one thing when that happens at home, but in the middle of the day in high school? (The hallway to the nurse’s office felt eighty miles long. I always had to get picked up early.) While I’m at an appointment? (Ended up on the floor of the bathroom stall, probably sounding like a dying cow. Someone called an ambulance.) While I’m walking down Bleecker Street? (Laid on the sidewalk for an indeterminate amount of time, like laid out.) So, you know, I don’t know anything about a pain scale, but that definitely is the worst physical pain I’ve known, and partly why I take the Pill.

Have you ever given birth? >> No, and I never fucking will.

What's the highest fever you've ever had? >> I don’t know if I’ve ever had a fever.

Have you ever gone to the emergency room? >> Yes.

Have you ever coughed so hard you threw up? >> Nope.

Have you ever had cramps so bad you threw up? >> Yeah, that would happen sometimes. More often when I was younger.

Have you ever made anything out of duck tape? >> No.

Do you like palazzo pants? >> I don’t know what they are and don’t feel like googling.

Would you travel to Paris if given the chance? >> Sure, why not. It’s not a high priority but I wouldn’t turn it down.

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? >> Hm.

How old were you when you first encountered God, if applicable? >> I don’t think I’ve ever encountered the god that is insinuated by this question.

How old were you the first time you felt loved? >> As I am now, I don’t know what that feels like, so I can’t figure out when I’ve felt it in the past.

Were you abused? >> Yes.

Does inequality bother you? >> I mean, sure, sometimes.

Who was your favorite teacher? >> ---

Did you ever want to be a teacher? >> No.

Do you look good in brown? >> I am brown, and I think my skin looks wonderful. So I’m sure clothes the same colour would look just as good.

Do you prefer crosswords, word searches, or sudoko puzzles? >> Crosswords. Word searches can be good when I want a simple game with a guaranteed completion.

Are adult coloring books tedious? >> Colouring can be a tedious activity in general if you’re not in the mood for it, but I don’t think adult colouring books are any more or less tedious than any other kind.

What do you do to relax? >> I don’t do anything specific.

Do you live alone? >> No.

What's your favorite place you've lived? >> Hm.

Did you ever think your house was haunted? >> I believed there was something hanging around an apartment I lived in back in 2009.

Do you believe in auras? >> I don’t have any opinion on the concept.

Have you ever seen a spirit? >> Probably.

Do you have any food intolerances? >> I’m personally intolerant to bananas, but that’s more mental than physical.

Do you like camping? >> Yeah.

What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? >> *shrug*

What's your favorite place to go on vacation? >> New Orleans.

Do you enjoy rainy days? >> Sure, sometimes. More than I enjoy snowy ones, that’s for sure.

Do you own anything chevron print? >> No.

Ever thought about starting a business? >> No.

If you were to start a business, which kind would you start? >> I’d really rather not.

Do you have weak shoulders? >> Er... no? I don’t think so?

Are you more masculine or feminine? >> I refuse to participate.

Do you like unisex names? >> Sure.

What are some of your favorite unisex names? >> The way I see it, any name is unisex if you try hard and believe in yourself.

What are some of your favorite current fashion trends? >> I’m not sure what’s trendy right now. Fast fashion makes it impossible to keep up.

Do you like skinny jeans? leggings? jeggings? >> I don’t like any of these, really. On myself, I mean. I don’t like the way they feel on my body. On other people, absolutely fine.

Do you collect anything? >> No.

What exotic pet would you own if you were rich? >> I don’t want an exotic pet and I don’t want to be rich.

Did you want to change your name when you were younger? >> I’ve been changing my name since I knew how to speak, so.

Do you like your first name? >> Yes.

Are you named after anyone? >> Just myself.

What does your name mean? >> It’s uncertain.

When you're sick, do you look up your symptoms on the Internet? >> If I was sick and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, then yeah, I probably would.

Are you a member of any online support groups? >> No. But that suddenly reminded me of a forum that used to be online when I was a teenager/young adult, Recover Your Life. I was on that for a while. Haven’t thought about that in years.

Were you ever on a dance team? >> No.

What event in history do you wish you could reverse? >> ---

Would you rather have been born in a different era? >> No thanks.

Do you like being a millennial? >> I don’t care? It doesn’t mean anything to me.

What year were you born? >> 1987.

What are your initials? >> MSD.

Would you ever preach a sermon? >> No. I’ve entertained the idea, lmao (mostly because I have a thing for men of the cloth and I’ve wondered what it’d be like to be the object of my fixation), but no, it’s not a thing I’m actually interested in doing.

Do you pray regularly? >> No.

Do you have any good luck charms? >> No.

Do you make wishes on anything? If so, what? >> No.

What do you do when you can't sleep? >> Read. Unless it’s because of caffeine, and then I just flop around and try to stop hyperfixating on my heartbeat and probably cry out of frustration.

Do you enjoy sunrises? >> Yeah.

Are you more of a morning person or a night owl? >> I like the morning. I like the nighttime, too, but being awake at night ruins my ability to be awake in the morning and I don’t care for that.

Is your life boring? >> Sure, sometimes. Better for me than the alternative, I think.

Is your life hard or easy? >> It’s easier in some ways and harder in others. But the ways in which it’s hard now are vastly preferable to the ways in which it was hard before. It’s a struggle I accept.

What can you do to make your life more adventurous? >> I don’t want to make my life more adventurous, though. If I wanted to, there’s all kinds of shit I could do, I’m sure.

Do you live in the moment? >> Where (when) else am I going to live?

Have you ever had food poisoning? >> Yeah.

Have you ever had sun poisoning? >> No.

What do you do when you're bored? >> “Boredom” for me is understimulation, so it doesn’t really matter what I do, it won’t go away until it damn well pleases.

What makes you come alive? >> *shrug*

Are you ashamed of anything? >> *shrug*

Do you like going to the dentist? >> Fuck no.

Do you wear glasses? >> No.

Do you have a sibling who looks like you? >> ---

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? >> ---

How tall are you? >> 5′5″.

Would you ever want to live in a castle? >> No. That’s a lot of upkeep.

Have you ever been to a Chinatown? >> Yeah, many times.

Do you like snow? >> Eh. Not really, not anymore. It’s pretty for like ten minutes.

Do rainbows excite you? >> No. They are pretty, though.

What part of nature fascinates you the most? >> The nature part.

Were you born in your favorite season? >> Yeah.

Do you ever shop at Goodwill? >> I have, and I would in the future, but I don’t like to go very often. It’s just stressful for me for a couple of reasons.

Do you ever shop at the dollar store? >> Sure.

What does your favorite coffee mug look like? >> It’s white, yellow on the inside, and has a cute drawing of a cactus on it.

Do you go to Starbucks regularly? >> I never go to Starbucks.

What wakes you up? >> Either some environmental noise or just... a natural return to consciousness.

Do you like sushi? >> Sure.

What's your favorite brand of flavored water? >> ---

Do you drink iced tea? >> Sometimes. There’s a couple of brands I like.

Do you have neat handwriting? >> Eh, it’s passable.

Who's the last person you wrote a letter to? >> ---

Do you have long hair? >> No.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function? >> I mean, I can function on four, but it’s still diminished function. I prefer seven to eight.

What's the highest amount of kids you've babysat at one time? >> ---

Did you enjoy your first job? >> No.

Have you ever had a job you hated? >> Yes.

Are you an introvert or an extravert? >> Meh.

Are you behind on chores? >> Yeah, I haven’t vacuumed since Sparrow was put on furlough.

Are you struggling? >> I’m always struggling, bruh.

Do you need someone? >> Er.

Do you own a shirt with an elephant on it? >> I own a maxi dress with an elephant on it. It’s very comfortable.

Does gray look good on you? >> It looks fine.

[xombigirl]

I'm Freaking Out

Oh my god. So I woke up this morning and went out my front door(which I rarely do because our parking spots are at the kitchen door)and found a letter saying I hadn't paid my rent and that I owe $725 by noon today. Now I distinctly remembered sending that payment so I called my bank and apparently my husband's insurance company put his bill on auto pay so $550 came out before my rent could come out. I have until fucking noon today to come up with $500 dollars or I get evicted. I don't know what to fucking do. I'm angry, I'm stressed, I've been throwing up because of this and I just want to curl up and fucking cry. On top of all that, hubs has to get a tooth pulled today which is going to coat $150. He's been in massive amounts of pain since last week so it has to come out today.

If anyone can help I'd be grateful. Even if you just reblog it. Please. I'm freaking out so much right now.

PayPal: sherlockianliza@gmail.com

Ko-fi: http://ko-fi.com/sherlockianliza

[jadeimpala67]

Rant ahead and idk how to add that cut page thingy

_______

Lemme tell you what "moving up the corporate ladder" in America looks like, when you're poor.

When you're making minimum wage or less, you get housing assistance. Food assistance. Medical assistance. Which comes in handy since you literally cannot support yourself.

I'll use my state, Connecticut, as an example.

In CT, the minimum right now is $10.10/hr.

The state will help you if that's your only income. With everything. You may not get the best of the best, and a lot of the doctors you see won't actually care, but all of your appointment are covered. Your medications are covered. Emergencies are covered. Food, covered. housing takes a long ass time, but you're covered. As you live paycheck to paycheck and literally all of your money to bills.

That was my life. Never had the best doctors, but at least I could be seen by someone. I could get out the teeth rotting my skull. I could afford to eat for a while. Back at that job, the state minimum was $8.25/hr. But we survived.

Then I got a raise at my old job, the state cut my stamps to $14 a month. A month. But I tried not to panic because I lived with other people and we pulled our weight. And we had friends from wealth willing to help us if we needed it - which it was rare of us to ask.

Then time passed. I moved a lot. The state minimum was raised to $10.10. I got my current job and worked part time.

But then I became homeless.

Now see, dear Tumblr, this is where shit gets tricky. Because when you're homeless, you can't buy food in bulk. You can't. Where would you put it??? Critters would get to it. How would you cook it? No, you had to spend money every day to make sure you were fed. But that doesn't mean you stop paying your bills.

I was fortunate. I didn't have a car or insurance. I had a phone ($72.56/m), and a storage unit ($52/m). BUT. I got paid bi weekly, and only worked part time. I was bringing home an average of $320 a week. So roughly $640 per paycheck. But I didn't have a car - which meant I had to Uber to get to places I needed to go.

I had to buy food, every single day. I had to expand my wardrobe so I didn't have to go to the laundromat every 4 days. I had to spend money at Dunkin and Subway so I wouldn't get kicked off of their property for loitering - which bought me time away from my unit so I wouldn't get arrested.

Now it wasn't ALL bad. I was definitely more fortunate in some areas than others. But I also needed a laptop (not only for gishwhes, but to have something to charge my phone with/use for music and tv. Phones only lasted for so long.) ($120 - discounted from original price of $165). I needed a new backpack because mine was falling apart ($60), which I still have. I needed new shoes after 3 months because I walked so much.

It's impossible to save money when you're homeless. Everything drains it away.

Now fast forward to a year later. I'm finally in an apartment, roommate, my own room, switched to overnights so I get $1 more an hour, more bills, upped to full-time, due for a promotion.

I'm making $12.10/hr. Which sounds great! Right? Except - now I have benefits. That are being deducted from every paycheck. So now. Bringing home an average of $362/week - which is a lot less than I was taking home making 8 fucking dollars an hour. But now I'm also getting it every two weeks. $725, on average, every two weeks; sometimes with overtime, if I can get away with it (usually we can't).

So now in addition to all the new bills I have to pay (rent, rent a center washer and dryer, my phone, Netflix, 2 credit card bills), that's half of my paycheck already.

I never make it paycheck to paycheck - I run out of money about a week in, so my coworkers and my grandmother help me out, which I pay them back for on payday. There's another huge chunk, gone.

Then there's times I gotta pay for therapy ($70), and now my psychology appointment ($85). My new ADHD meds are $25.66 per perscription.

So, after all of that, let's do some math what my average month looks like-

$725 x 2 (avg. paycheck for two months)

$1450

-$175 x2 (half my rent automatically comes out per paycheck so I'm never late)

- $75 (phone)

- $95 (RAC)

- $32 (credit card 1)

- $95 (credit card 2)

After all the big bills, that leaves me with $897.34

After therapy -$70

$827.34

After my med check appt -$56

$771.34

After refilling my prescription -$26

$745.34

Now that's for the whole month. I never see that grand total, because that's now how bills and living work. So let's be hypothetical and just divide it down the middle, k?

$745.34/2 = $372.67 to last me for two weeks.

$372.67 to pay for food, Uber, and emergencies.

Uber to get to my job from my home is anywhere from $11-$16 depending on the day to day - one way. Which means if I don't have a ride in, I gotta spend about $30 round trip to go to work and get home.

Idk about you, but I usually end up spending about $200~ on food. Both immediate snacks at work to get my through the shift, and buying in bulk to take home.

(lemme put it to you this way, sometimes I need a little caffeine to jumpstart my work day, $2.50, or I can buy an entire carton and being that shit home $4)

Now it comes to this - right now, I've got $29 left over in my bank account, $30 I owe my grandma in cash, and roughly a $32 balance on my credit card. I'm sick. Like really sick. I've got an infection in my throat and it is kicking my ass.

I don't have free healthcare anymore. I've got "real" healthcare through my job, with a $3,000 deductable. Which means I either pay the whole thing out if pocket, or a partial amount.

Three years ago, I had strep, I just went down to the nearest walk in clinic, gave them my medicare insurance, walked away with antibiotics, I was fine within a week.

Just. Fucking. Now. I had to spend $6 to get to the nearest clinic, waited for 30 minutes, just for them to tell me that because I was a new paitent with this insurance, my "best case scenario" would be owing them $120. For a strep test and antibiotics.

Obviously, I don't have $120 fucking dollars. I was turned away. So now I STILL have an infection, no medication, no loa note to being to my job to save my ass, and I'm faced with the delema of "Do I go to work anyway and risk passing this infection to the general public?? Or do I take the paycut, risk my job because of an absence, and get stuck with a shitty paycheck by next payday, because now I'm missing day 3 of work this month alone?"

America doesn't want you to do better.

If you're poor, you've gotta stay poor. If you're rich, then stay rich. Otherwise fuck you and your health, and your dreams, and your bills.

[crookedndelicate]

When I got a ticket to see @taylorswift in London, it was £120 for floor tickets. The GP criticised her nonstop for ticket prices and the Verified Fan mess and called her money hungry.

The Jonas Brothers are selling tickets for their upcoming tour. And fuck it, I wanna go. But a lot of the tickets are platinum tickets, meaning their official price changes based on demand. I’ve seen tickets for as much as $500, $725, and even as much as $1,250 per one ticket. Hell, the VIP packages are hundreds of dollars and they don’t even include a ticket. I’ve seen fans criticising it, but that’s pretty much it.

I guess what I’m saying is: either have the same energy about this, or admit it was never really about the tickets and shut the fuck up.

[riverroan]

Why the fuck would my mom, who's had a green card for 28 years, have to pay 725 dollars to take a fucking test then why the hell does she have to study 100 questions to only answer ten to become a citizen

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Small World: Part 4

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, a little bit of hate on the girls for being lesbians but Nat and the reader put the woman in her place real fast.

Word Count: 5,275

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So I wanna talk to you about something.” Natasha said as she laid down on her bed beside you after tucking in Irina for the night. You hummed at her but didn’t look away from your work as she slowly began walking her fingers up your bare leg. “So, there’s an opening at Stark up on my floor for Tony’s personal council. The old guy that did the weird clicking thing with his teeth passed away.” She stopped her fingers at your knee and spread her hand out across your thigh. “I think you should apply.”

“Yea, because Tony’s gunna pick a lawyer from the thirtieth floor who’s resume consists of reading over and denying countless amount of complaints from idiots that really should have been taken out by natural selection… Nat, quit. I gotta finish this.” She scowled and let the band of your underwear snap against your waist.

“Come on, babe.” She said as she curled up beside you and carefully reached up to pull the document from your hands. “You are so much better than doing this shit.” You frowned at her over your glasses as she waved the papers in her hand at you. “You get the job with Tony? You work half as much as you do now, you don’t have to deal with stupid people all day, and you get your very own office right next to mine.”

“While I would love that.” You said as you tossed your pen toward your bedside table while scooting down in the bed. “I have zero chance of getting that job.”

“Well I’m gunna put your resume in anyways.” She said as she wrapped her arms and legs around you like an octopus. “And you’ll thank me when you get the job.”

“You’re ridiculous.” You said as you ran your fingers through her hair with a smile. She smiled and bit her lip as she searched your face and pulled the strap of your tank top down your shoulder.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.”

“You just have a one track mind tonight.” You laughed as you pulled her hair gently. She hummed as she pulled your tank top down until your breast was exposed.

“So I can put your application in?” She asked as she licked your pierced nipple. You sighed and nodded as she looked up at you through her lashes.

“Fine. Just don’t stop doing that.”

“Yes ma’am.” She agreed as wrapped her lips around the bud and nibbled at the piercing gently. “Whatever you say.”

——

You were sitting in your office a couple weeks later, trying to get all your work done before the extended Thanksgiving weekend, when the phone on your desk shrilled. You grabbed it while continuing to type, figuring it was either your boss wanting you to do yet another menial task he was more than capable of doing himself, or Natasha calling to see what you wanted to do for lunch.

“Is this Ms. (Y/L/N)?” Your heart stopped at the sound of Tony’s voice and you choked on your response for a second.

“Y-y-yes, this her. I mean me.”

“Ms. (Y/L/N), can you please meet me in conference room 78B as soon as possible?”

“Yea.” You said with an unseen nod as you quickly saved your work, and logged out of your computer. “I’ll be right there.” There was a click on the other end of the line and you pulled the phone away from your ear to look at it for a moment. You quickly grabbed your cell phone, jumped up from your cubicle, and walked quickly over to the elevators.

— What did you do, Natasha?

You inquired as you rode the elevator down to the ground floor to take the elevator that lead up to the executive floors. You scowled at your screen when all you got was a winking face emoji. As you walked in to the conference room to see her, Tony, and Pepper staring back at you, you stumbled a bit in your heels.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), born 1982 in Norwalk, Iowa. The only child of Sean and Betsy (Y/L/N). Graduated from high school at only fifteen years old and move to New York in 1996 to attend NYU. Graduated number one in her class from NYU law when you came to work for me, which is where you have been for the past 12 years.” You nodded slowly as you took the only seat across from the trio. “So now you work forty hours of work officially, at least twenty more unofficially while raising four year old Killian James Momoa. Never married…”

“Is my credit score in there?” You inquired almost sarcastically before covering your mouth with your hand in embarrassment. 

“725.” Tony replied without looking up. “Not bad. So tell me.” He said as he looked up at you. “Why have you not looked for a better job? Or applied for a better position within the company until now? I know the guys on the forty-fifth floor are misogynistic tools so it can’t be fun to work down there.”

“You have good health care.” You said simply as you wrung your hands nervously. Natasha smiled, and looked down at the table in front of her as Tony chuckled.

“I want one.” He said as he looked over at Pepper.

“Ms. (Y/L/N). We have an opening that we have been trying to fill on our personal council.” Pepper said as she picked up a stack of papers and handed them to you. “I’d like you to look these over and if everything is up to your standards, we’d like to offer you that position.”

“I…” You said as you took the papers and looked over at Nat. She nodded at you as you glanced at the contract. “I…”

“Just so it’s said once more, on the record.” Tony chimed in to give you a second to compose yourself. “We are aware that yourself and Ms. Romanoff and I are in a relationship but it is no way the reason why we are offering you this position. Your resume alone is.” You nodded your head and looked back down at the contract in your hands.

“We’ll give you a moment.” Pepper said as she and Tony stood up. “But we would like an answer by the end of the day.” You nodded your head, and watched as the two of them walked out of the conference room. The moment the door closed, you rounded on your girlfriend.

“What did you do?” You asked with a smile as she got up from the table.

“Sign it!” She said, excitedly as she came around to your side. “Sign it, sign it, sign it!”

“Nat..” You sighed as you flipped through the document. Your eyes widened as you saw the pay raise of nearly two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year. “Oh, my God.”

“Babe, you have to take it.” She said as she crouched down beside you, carefully so she wouldn’t rip her skirt. “You have to. If not for you, do it for Killian. Imagine the life you could give him with this kinda raise. The benefits alone are worth it.”

“Natasha, this is insane.” You gasped as your eyes skimmed the paragraph regarding paid time off and sick days, which was ten times more lenient than your current contract.

“Sign it, baby.” She said as she reached across the table and grabbed a pen Tony had left behind. “Read it over and sign it. Then we’ll go grab lunch.” You nodded your head and flipped to the front of the contract as she stood up and kissed your cheek.

“Nat.” You said as you turned in the chair to look back at her. “Thank you.” She smiled and nodded as she pulled open the conference room door.

“Love you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So here’s the issue I have.” Tony said as he walked into your new office first thing in the morning without knocking like he usually did just after the new year. “I need to purchase Disney.” You looked up from your computer with your eyebrows raised as he took a seat in the chair on the other side of your desk.

“I’m sorry?” 

“Walt Disney company.” He repeated as he kicked his feet up on your desk. “You see, Pepper and I went to Disney for New Years, and I had an officially unofficial business meeting about opening a Stark hotel on Disney property. But the guy who I spoke with that worked for Disney was a dick. Said he didn’t want my ‘tarnished name’ on the brand.” You nodded your head as you turned your chair to look at him fully. 

“So you want to buy the company.”

“Don’t you think that’s a good idea? I think it’s a great idea.”

“It’s an A plus idea.” You nodded as you pursed out your bottom lip. “I’ll have the sales agreement drawn up in an hour so you can tweak it?”

“Perfect.” He said as he dropped his feet and stood up. “And I’ll need you and Natasha to go to Burbank on my behalf after I finalize the deal to get everyone on board. Should only take a day. But you should probably bring your kids along. Go to the Disney in Florida after, it’s nicer. Much bigger, too. Sort of a tease to send you both to ascertain the happiest place on earth, and not let the kids go with you. Take a week. Business trip and all, it’d be a tax write off.”

“Course it is.” You laughed as he headed out of your office.

“Romanoff! Set up a meeting with Bob Iger for this afternoon, then help your girlfriend get me Disney!” You shook your head, since that was how Tony choose to address both of you on a nearly regular basis; ‘the girlfriends’. You looked over at Nat as she walked into your office with her eyebrow raised.

“What did I miss?”

“We’re buying Disney.” You said as you pulled up the generic acquisition contract Tony’s old lawyer kept on file. “And apparently going on a family vacation.”

“Yea, that’s Tony.” She said as she sat down in the chair across from you. “Is this about the douchebag hotel guy that he dealt with over New Years?”

“Apparently.” You said as you began the long process of tweaking the contract. “So that, in Stark terms, means buying the company.”

“That’s typical.” Natasha said as she grabbed your tablet off your desk to find contact information on Disney’s CEO and Chairman.

“Sure it is.” You laughed. “Because everyone gets aggravated with someone, and can afford to buy out their company. I wish I had that kinda money.”

“Instead, you get to work for him.” She said as she turned your office phone toward her to place the call to Mr. Iger’s assistant. “Are get paid vacations for no apparent reason. Yes, my name is Natasha Romanoff for Tony Stark. I need to set up and urgent meeting with Mr. Iger for this afternoon, please.”

“Mickey Stark.” You said under your breath, teasingly as you typed away. “Stark Castle… ooo, imagine a Stark ride.” Natasha smiled but put her finger over her mouth to get you to be quiet.

“No, it must be this afternoon…”

——

“Mom, where are we going now?” Killian whined as you walked across the hot tarmac toward the Stark jet.

“We’re going to the surprise now, baby.” You said as you stopped long enough to pick up your exhausted son. He and Irina had been a trouper all day, waiting quietly with a Disney company ‘sitter’ in a conference room at the Disney headquarters while you and Natasha battled out the fine tuning of the acquisition agreement with the team of now former owners. 

“But I’m tired.” He complained as he laid his head down on your shoulder and started to tear up.

“I know, K but you can sleep on the plane, OK? And when you wake up, we’ll get to have so much fun…”

“I don’t wanna!” He cried as he burst into tears.

“Hey, buddy. It’ll be OK soon, I promise.” Nat said as she caught up to you with Irina already fast asleep in her arms. He shook his head at her and sobbed as you climbed up the stairs of the jet.

“I’m gunna kill Tony for this.” You growled over your shoulder before ducking into the plane.

“I’ll help.” You nodded at her as you kicked off your heels and headed to the back of the plane where Tony thankfully had a full sized bed the kids could sleep on until you got to your hotel in Orlando. You dropped your brief case on the table and headed back to the room.

“Alright, sweetheart. Let’s get you ready for bed.” He shook his head and continued to cry in sheer exhaustion because of the jet lag as you put him down on the bed and grabbed his suitcase. You and Natasha worked quickly, getting your kids ready for and in bed so you could get all the paperwork faxed to Tony and the appropriate official channels. Killian lasted all of two minutes after you laid him down, before passing out.

“What a day.” You nodded in agreement as you sat down on the bed to hold your son in place while the jet took off to go to Florida.

“It’ll be worth it.” You said as you braced yourself against the wall. “Hopefully. At least Florida is in the same time zone as New York.”

“They’re gunna love it.” Nat said as she lifted her hand off Irina when the plane leveled out.

“Here’s to hoping.” You said as you grabbed your pj’s from the suitcase and tossed Natasha hers. The two of you changed quickly before sneaking out of the room to finish up.

“Are we still thinking pool day tomorrow or the parks?”

“Pool, probably.” You said as you sat down at the table with a sigh. “It’s almost eight here now, which means it’s almost eleven at home. Figure at least another two hours of work for me during the three hour flight, hour to get to the hotel and check in. We’re talking almost three in the morning by the time you and I can go to bed and actually sleep. I know the kids will be up and down on the flight because they’re both a light sleepers so I doubt any of us will be up before ten at the earliest. My guess will be noon, at least. At that point, hour to get ready, hour to get lunch, going to the parks won’t be worth it.” You shrugged as you grabbed all the papers from your bag and set them on the table. “Let them tire themselves out in the pool. It’s cool enough that it’ll keep their attention for an afternoon and it’s supposed to be warm tomorrow so they’ll think it’s cool to swim when it’s snowing back home.”

“Good point.” Nat said as she laid down on the couch to stay up with you for moral support since there wasn’t much she could do. “I have to say, I’m excited about the no snow part.” You nodded in agreement as you took your contacts and switched them out for your glasses so your eyes would quit burning. 

“I’m just excited about going to bed and not looking at a contract for a week.”

——

You were 100% right about none of you waking up until late. Your son woke up first at 12:30. He rolled out of bed to use the bathroom then turned on the TV until someone else woke up. Natasha, hearing the noise from the TV, woke up ten minutes later and the sound of her voice asking your son if he was OK woke up Irina. Knowing you got were up until almost four-thirty dealing with finalizing the contract, Nat got the two kids dressed in bathing suits and cover ups, and headed downstairs to find something for lunch at Disney’s Beach Club resort. 

“Mom.” Killian whispered at one thirty when they came back into the room a half hour later with lunch. He climbed up onto the bed, and scooted up against your chest while Natasha set out lunch on the little table in the room. “Mommy, we brought lunch.” You groaned as you reached out to hug your little boy.

“It’s nap time.” You said with a smile as you opened your eyes slowly.

“But we’re at Disney!” Irina cheered as she came running over, and jumped on the bed. You smiled, and reached for her before she got hurt.

“We are?” You asked incredulously. “No we’re not.” Both kids cheered ‘yea’ as they tried to bounce you on the bed.

“Alright, come eat, you two so we can go to the pool.” Nat said as she grabbed two plates, and carried them over to you.

“Thanks for letting me sleep.” You groaned as you sat up in bed, and took your plate.

“He called me mama Nat.” She whispered to just you. You looked over at the slight tear in her eyes as she picked up a grape, and rolled it between her fingers. “Some guy whistled at me in line, and he yelled at him to ‘leave mama Nat alone’.” She barely glanced over at your smile with one of her own and looked away before she started to cry. You ‘awe’d’ in her ear and laid your head on her shoulder as she fed you the grape to shut you up.

“That’s sweet.” You said as you sat up to eat your half of a grilled chicken panini and fresh cut fruit.

“I think my cheeks are gunna break.” She laughed as she looked away from the show the kids had on TV.

“It’s a good feeling, baby.” You agreed as you leaned behind her to grab the bottle of water you had put on the night stand the night before. “But you better point this guy out to me so I can kick his ass.”

“Yea, I’d love to see that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mama (Y/N), can we go on this one?” Irina asked as she pointed to the Dumbo ride while pulling on your hand as hard as she could to get your attention while you waited for Natasha and Killian to get off the kids rollercoaster, the Barnstormer. You smiled, loving that she had followed Killian’s lead in giving you a title, and nodded.

“Sure, but we gotta wait, baby.” You said as you pulled her back to where you were sitting on the wall by the exit of the ride. “We gotta wait for Mommy and K.” She huffed, letting her shoulders fall dramatically, and shuffled closer to you.

“So much waiting.” She grouched as she stepped between your legs, and rested her crossed arms on your thigh. She sighed the same way her mother did when you took too long getting ready for work, and laid her head down on her arms to wait.

“Just a little bit longer, sweetheart.” You said as you rubbed her back and watched the people exiting the ride. You leaned your hand on the brick wall you were sitting on and glanced down at Irina. “I spy…” You started, catching her attention immediately. “…with my eye, something the color… red.” She popped up and looked around while holding on to the fabric of your capris like a safety blanket since you and Natasha had really drilled the fear of God into both kids about getting lost. 

“The sign!” Irina shouted as she pointed to the sign at the front of Storybook Circus. 

“Nooo.” You said as you shook your head. “What about the other way?” Irina turned in place and pointed at a red ticket booth.

“That!”

“Yay!” You cheered. “You got it!”

“My turn!” She said as she turned even more to find her object.

“Has to be bigger than my hand.” You reminded her as you grabbed a bottle of water from the cup holder of the stroller you had rented for the week in case the kids needed a break. After taking a sip, you passed it to her so she would drink.

“Oh, blue!” She said as she pointed at the big, blue circus tent, unintentionally giving you the answer as she took a drink.

“Blue, huh?” You asked as you took back the water, and put the cap on it. “Hmm… the sky?” She giggled and shook her head as she leaned back against your leg.

“Nooo!”

“What about that sign?” You asked as you pointed at a sign on the tent.

“Nooo!”

“Is it… the tent?” Her smile dropped as Nat and Killian came off the ride and walked over to you.

“Aww, man.”

“Did you like it?” You asked your son over Irina saying hi to her mommy. Nat shook her head as she grabbed a plastic bag from the stroller, and handed it to him seconds before he got sick. You jumped to your feet, and moved Irina out of your way as you took Natasha’s place at your son’s side. “You’re alright, buddy.” You said as you rubbed his back. 

“Come on, Irina. Let’s go ride Dumbo while Mama (Y/N) takes care of Killian.”

“That’s gross.” A woman beside you mumbled as she looked at you and Natasha with a sneer.

“Excuse me?” You asked as you looked up at her while guiding your son to sit on the wall.

“You two should know better.” The woman snapped as she glared at you. “Raising those kids in a toxic household, and forcing your disgusting choices on them. You should have left them in foster care.”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Nat asked as she pushed her daughter behind her, protectively.

“Someone who disapproves of your kind.” Your hand flew out to grab Natasha before she could hit the woman like she wanted to.

“Irina, get mommy’s phone.” You said as you stood up in front of your girlfriend facing the woman. “You seriously just mess up, lady. Like royally.” Without hesitating, you reached out, and snatched the Magic Band, which was her theme park ticket with her name on it, off her wrist, and took Nat’s phone from Irina.

“Give that…” She tried as she stood up, and took a step toward you. 

“Back up.” You growled menacingly with so much venom in your tone that the woman actually took a step back. You quickly dialed the phone number of the head of security, who was responsible for getting you to and from your hotel room and around the massive Disney property safely per Tony’s explicit request. “Matthew? (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Tony Stark’s attorney.” You watched the woman’s face drop, knowing that she, like everyone else in the world, had seen the news that the billionaire had purchased Disney Company two days before. “Yes, I’m having a confrontation with a woman by the Dumbo ride. She’s being very disrespectful and condescending, spewing bigoted hate speech completely unprovoked, and in front of my children. I have her Magic band number…”

“Wait, this is a little…” She took a step toward you, but Natasha quickly pulled you behind her as you read the magic band number to the security guard that was just outside of the Storybook Circus part of the park you were in.

“Back up.” Nat said evenly as she pointed at the lady. “Not that it’s any of your damn business, but she is my daughter and he is her son. And they are fucking perfect. Take your bigotry and shove it up your ass after you apologize to our children.” You looked over at her as you hung up the phone to wait for security and tended to your son, and Natasha’s crying, scared daughter.

“Her words aren’t worth it.” You said with a shake of your head as you used some napkins from lunch, and a little bit of water to wash your son’s face as Irina hid in your chest. “Let security take care of her.”

“Wait, my children…” The woman said as her three young sons ran over to her when they got off the ride with their dad. Nat scoffed, and shook her head as she stepped closer to you and the kids.

“And you wanna talk to us about a toxic household.” She replied as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I hope for societies sake that your kids don’t have your same outlook on people, or at least that they don’t voice them inappropriately in a theme park.” 

“Ma’am.” Matthew said as he walked toward you quickly to put an end to the situation. “I need you to come with me.”

“But…” She tried as you passed Natasha the woman’s Magic Band to give to security.

“Ma’am.” Matthew repeated as you helped Killian into the stroller to get him into the nearest restaurant for something sugary to drink, and some air to cool down a bit to recoup. You missed the woman beginning to cry as Nat came over, and picked up Irina.

“How about we go to Belle’s restaurant, huh? See if we can get some of the grey stuff. Lumière told me it was delicious.” Irina nodded as you tied off the vomit bag to throw out, and popped the locks on the stroller.

“We’ll remove her from the park…”

“Just give her a warning.” You said with a shake of your head. “And a stern talking to. If that’s alright with you, that is. I think she learned a very valuable lesson about telling lesbian mothers that they are disgusting.” Matthew nodded his head and grabbed his radio from his belt as Nat put Irina in the stroller beside Killian.

“I would have had her banned from the park.” She said as she took the stroller from you, and pushed it toward the restaurant.

“And ruin those kids vacation? They already have a shitty mom, why make their life more miserable?”

“True.” She said with a nod as you pulled the sun cover over your son, and handed him a bottle of water.

“How about we call Dad while we have a break?” You asked him as you walked. “We’ll see if we can interrupt a very important meeting again. Make him jealous that we get to have all the fun while he has to work in Michigan all week.” Killian nodded his head, and cradled the cool bottle to his chest.

“Shoulda let me kick her ass.” Nat grumbled, causing you to take a half step back, and grab her hand on the stroller.

“Yea, because I wanna bail you out of Disney jail on my vacation.”

——

“Hey…” You whispered softly as you stepped out onto the small balcony of your hotel room after tucking the kids in for the night. You stepped up behind Natasha and wrapped your arms around her middle. “… what’s a gorgeous girl like you doing out here all by yourself?” She shook her head as she let go of the rail with one hand and rested it on your crossed arms. 

“I don’t get it.” She said as you rested your chin on her shoulder. She looked over at you with tears in her eyes and shook her head. “I just don’t get it.” You sighed, knowing that she was still hung up on the woman’s comments from that afternoon, and kissed her shoulder.

“It’s fear, baby.” You said as you tilted your head to see her better. “Fear that two women could do better as parents than she could. Fear that our household has better integrity than hers. Fear that our babies will be better human beings than hers because they are being raised in diversity. Our children, who will see that love, just like life, isn’t black and white the way half of society wants it to be. That woman has no idea what love looks like. 

She’s too near sided to see that you and I go above and beyond to give our children the best life they can have. They do not go without. They go to the best preschool in New York and we already have Killian enrolled in the best private school in Manhattan. We’ve given them the best healthcare available, they have and will never know hunger. They only know undying love. And after today, they will know that they have mothers that will go to bat for them no matter what.” You picked your head up and turned her around in your arms with a smile. 

“We are better people, Natasha, and we are strong enough to make it past the idiotic hatred some… stupid gash felt the need to voice. Let me ask you this? Are her words going to stop me from loving you? Or you, me? Is what she had to say going to stop us from loving the kids laying in the bed in there, dreaming about the adventure they get to go on in a fake snow covered water park tomorrow? No, it’s not. Because she’s just another mouth piece in the world. Fuck her. Are you really gunna let her ruin our family vacation?” She gave you a weak smile and shook her head as she leaned forward to rest her forehead on your chest.

“What would I do without you, (Y/N)?”

“You’d probably be in Disney jail.” She laughed as she picked her head up and wrapped her arms around your neck.

“Have I told you today that I love you?” You shook your head as you took a step closer to her.

“You have not.”

“Well I do. I really, really do.” With a smile, you leaned forward and captured her lips with yours and not ten seconds later, you heard guys cheering from the pool your balcony overlooked.

“Get it, girls!” One of them shouted as you took a step back to look at Nat with a smile.

“See? Not every one hates us.”

“Stop whistling at my girlfriend!” Nat called out as she turned back to the rail the slightest bit. “She’s mine!”

“Fine by us!” The guy yelled back as his buddies laughed and high fived. “’s’long as you to keep it on the balcony…”

“Don’t think that would be setting a good example for our kids.” You called out as you stepped up to the rail and put your hand on the small of Nat’s back. “We’re trying to be responsible parents, here.”

“Well that’s no fun!” Another guy called out. “Well, if you feel like being irresponsible, come on down and join the bachelor party! We got beer!”

“Have fun, boys! I’m taking my girl to bed!” They guys cheered at Natasha’s words as she grabbed your hand, and pulled you back in the room for bed.

“Mommy, why are you yelling?” Irina asked, sleepily.

“We’re just talking to some friends, baby.” She said softly as you locked the door behind you and closed the curtains for the night. “Go back to sleep.” She nodded and laid her head back down on the pillow on her side of the pillow wall as you pulled back the blankets on your bed for you and your girl. You both crawled into bed and got comfortable in each others arms under the blankets.

“I love you, sweetheart.” You whispered as you wrapped the love of your life in your arms.

“Love you, more, baby.”

[lobo-cansado-de-ojos-rojos]

725, why is murder worth ten dollars? You’re really going to say driving illegally is the worst thing you can do while murder is on the board, for fuck’s sake not wearing a seatbelt counts as illegal driving

what did everyone else get. i only got 10 dollars :(

[hyenabutter]

The internet is typically always something of a sewer, so much so that you can become used to its basic grossness, but every now and again it overflows something so putrid it boggles the mind of even the most jaded. 

This bullshit, for example: an article about how easy it is to save money and acquire wealth if you're a poor person making minimum wage, provided you don't spend any money at all and nothing ever goes wrong. Stand back and watch while I take this asshole's plan apart in a few easy steps:

The first, and probably most crucial issue, is that if you are poor, you should move to a more affordable city. For example: Shreveport, Louisiana, a town I know a thing or two about, because I've lived here for eleven years. So let's do this:

You, the poor person in question, live in New York City, which is one of the most expensive cities in the United States. Finally, you've had it, and decide to move somewhere else, maybe to one of the ten most affordable cities in America. Maybe a place like Shreveport, Louisiana.  

So you begin scrimping and saving, spending only on the most essential items, and, after about eighteen months, you've scraped together $2000. It's not much, but it's enough.

You pack up your old car and you drive down to Shreveport. It's really a three-day drive, but you push through and make it in two. You got lucky and stayed in the cheapest motel you could find, and it only cost you fifty bucks. You packed food and drinks, so you didn't have to buy any food, but it cost $150 in gas. So you're down to $1800.

You don't have a job yet, and because you don't know anyone in town, you spend the next five days staying in motels: again, you luck out and find really cheap lodging, and you allow yourself five dollars a day from the dollar menu for food, and you're as economical as possible with your driving, so your gas cost is pretty low, and after the five days you check your stash: $1500

On the sixth day, you really hit the jackpot: you find a place to live and a job on the same day. Your luck goes even further, because your new landlord lets you move in that day. And hey, the rent is way cheaper than it was back in New York: only $450 a month. Sure, it's in a raggedy-assed trailer way out on North Market Street, nearly at the city limits, but beggars can't be choosers, right? So you fork over the first and last month's rent, and then pay to get the water and gas and electricity turned on, and you've got $450 left. 

But here's the good news: you got a good job, better even than minimum wage: you're making ten bucks an hour, which isn't much for New York, but for this place, it's not too bad. Things are looking okay, and you get ready for work the next day. You won't get paid for two weeks, but you ought to be able to stretch your money until payday. 

The next two weeks go by without much incident: the only problem with the job is that it's way out on Mansfield Road, on the south end of town: it's a fairly long drive, and you wind up spending $75 on gas. You were worried about running out of money, so you bought $25 worth of Ramen noodles at the grocery store, and when payday finally hits, you've only got $350. 

But it's okay: you got your paycheck: $650 for eighty hours of hard work. Your bank account has shot up to $1100! You feel like a king, and splash out at the grocery store. You bring along a whole batch of coupons and only buy the cheapest items, along with household items like brooms and mops and various cleaners--the trailer you moved into wasn't exactly the cleanest place, and you've been waiting until you got paid to do some maintenance. You've now got $900 left. 

Another two weeks go by, and you get your next paycheck. You've continued to be thrifty, and have only spent money on gas, so you're now $1550 to the good. 

But the rent is due, and the bills. The total comes to $635. You don't have a washer or dryer, so you have to go to the laundromat, which costs another fifteen dollars, so your monthly expenses--not counting food or gas--comes to $725 dollars. One whole paycheck, in other words. You pay the money and are still sitting on $825. Not too shabby. A nice little cushion for you.

Two days later while driving to work, the rack and pinion in your wheezy old car goes out. You get it towed to a mechanic, which cost $100. At the garage, the guy tells you it's going to cost $1500 to fix your car, $1500 you don't have. You can't leave your car at the garage, so you pay another $100 to get it hauled back to your trailer. The mechanic also charged you fifty dollars to examine your car. You're down to $575 now.

Well. Things aren't looking so great. But you can take the bus, right? Well...no. The bus doesn't run that far out. So you call your work to try to get someone to cover your shift, but no one is interested in hearing your excuses, and they tell you if you can't come in the next day, don't bother coming back. 

So: you're fucked.

[hiddensmilex]

An example of how my anxiety works.

My thoughts in the last hour and a half, are you ready? Here we go: I should text my realtor and let him know I’m for sure breaking my lease. This isn’t my fault, I almost have no other choice so he’ll give me my security deposit back, right? Okay so he said no. It isn’t fair. You know what else isn’t fair? How everyone I’m living with is being funded by their parents. Here I am, 725 dollars down the drain now that I worked my ass off for. What about me? You know how long it’ll take to make that back? What am I doing all of this for? Wow, moving will be expensive. However, it’ll save me money and happiness in the end. I’m disappointed in humanity. What happened to good people and understanding? Why am I not worthy of getting my money back for at least being a good tenant? I only had 2 more months left. Why are people so greedy? Fuck the law, fuck a contract, what about humanity? Morality? Fairness? Has the world run dry? My hearts so heavy, but I can’t have a panic attack. No, no, no. I’m on a good streak. Breathe, text people, everyone. Be social, make jokes, laugh so fucking hard you forgot you wanted to cry. Wow... it’s late. At least I can sleep in tomorrow. That’s something to be happy about, right?