#!!!!! RUNNING IN CIRCLES

[its-the-rules]

psst. hey. i’m seeing this in theaters today

[andreafmn]

Running in Circles | Chapter 12

Word Count: 5.1K

Summary: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss, and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

A/N: I've done so horribly updating this story (and all the other ones) especially this year 🫣 but hope y'all enjoy

<- Previous

Christmas had come and gone, and winter was in full swing in Virginia. And before anyone could process the holiday, it was New Year’s Eve.  

The bullpen at the BAU had slowly emptied after midday as they had been given the rest of the afternoon off to get ready for the FBI’s New Year’s Eve Celebration. They had been prompted to wear their best—from tuxes to long dresses. There were sure to be various eyecatchers regardless of the winter cold.  

(Y/N) had been finishing up with a stack of reports when she noticed she was the last one in the office, at least in the bullpen. Two offices still had their lights on. One was her father, who had been waiting for her to finish her work to take her home. The other was the ever-overworking unit chief.  

“Hey, I’ve got the last reports here,” (Y/N) said after knocking softly on Hotchner’s door. “Finished some of the ones de next week, too.”  

“That wasn’t necessary,” he replied. “You keep doing all this paperwork, and the team will leave it all to you next time.”  

“I wouldn’t really mind,” she chuckled. “Paperwork is relaxing.”  

“Definitely don’t let them hear you say that,” he laughed as he stood from his chair and slipped his coat on. “Especially Morgan. He’d be more than happy to let you relax with his work.”  

“You don’t have to tell me twice. I think I’ve done over half of his reports since I’ve been here. But don’t tell him I told you that.”  

“Your secret is safe with me,” Hotch chuckled. “You heading out now?”  

The man had crossed the room as he talked, stopping less than a foot away from (Y/N). He towered over her, staring intently into her eyes. His gaze never broke from hers, trying to speak something in a language she did not understand.  

“Y-yeah,” she croaked. “Just had that to finish, but I’m all done now.”  

“You need a ride? I’m leaving now, but I can wait for you.” 

“Oh, uh, well…”  

“Hey, kid, you ready?” David’s voice startled them apart, reminding them that not only were they not alone, but they were also at work. “Oh, Aaron. Didn’t know you were still here.”  

“Yeah, just leaving now,” he said after clearing his throat. “I guess I’ll see you both tonight.”  

“Of course you will!” Rossi smiled brightly. “Although I will miss out on a perfectly good Ardbeg Corryvreckan—this year’s world’s best single malt in the World Whiskies Awards. I guess it will have to wait until the year is new.”  

“You know tonight is not mandatory,” (Y/N) chuckled as the three of them walked out of Hotch’s office and toward the elevator. “You could still stay home and enjoy that whiskey—as long as you save some for me.” 

“And miss out on a chance to wear a tux? Absolutely not,” her father said. “And I can never pass out on a night of free food and drink. What better way to ring in the new year?”  

“Right, I forget rich people love free things,” the girl teased. “Not like you could afford a thousand nights like this one.”  

“It’s not about affording, kid,” he grinned. “It’s about opportunity. How do you think rich people stay rich?”  

“Well, then,” Hotch chuckled softly as the elevator stopped on his floor, “I’ll see you both tonight.”  

Father and daughter waited in silence for the doors to close, watching as their unit choked retreated through the parking lot. “I’ve been thinking of setting him up with someone,” David broke the silence, knocking the air out of (Y/N)’s lungs. “My friend Letty has a daughter just a few years younger than him. Her job is nowhere as exciting as ours, but he could use someone to ground him.”   

She swallowed her jealousy, knowing her father was only looking out for his friend. She couldn’t let him know how bad of an idea that was without admitting her undisclosed feelings. Instead, she simply smiled and said, “Don’t know how open he’d be to dating just yet, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to try.”  

“That’s the spirit, kid,” he chuckled. “I think I will give her a call. And maybe I’ll see what's around for you, too.”  

(Y/N) didn't care to be set up with anyone, but it couldn't hurt to keep her options open. Whatever game she was playing with Hotch could not survive the long run. At some point, he would either reciprocate her feelings or break her heart. Either choice would complicate things between them, but only one was the outcome she wanted. But it wasn't like she could tell her father about that. She couldn't confess just how in love she was with his old friend and their boss. Not only was it highly unprofessional but it would definitely raise a lot of eyebrows, not to mention that it would throw a wrench right in the middle of their team.  

Much like she had done for years, she swallowed down her emotions and splattered on a bright smile for her father. It was a night of celebration--the coming of the new year. Instead of focusing on a love that might never come, she turned her attention to the festivities ahead. Like many years before, David had hired a stylist and a glam squad for her daughter, even if she had told him time and time again that she didn't really care for that. And just like every year before, he smiled and said, “Maybe this year will be different.” It never was, but it didn't hurt to say. 

By the time five o’clock rolled around, (Y/N) didn’t recognize herself. Even though she had gotten her hair and makeup done before, it always surprised her that a few curls and a splash of paint could transform her entire face—hell, even her attitude. She looked herself over at the mirror in the giant groom she had in her father's house, and she couldn't quite tell who was looking back at her.  

Dressed in a floor-length beaded dress, hair perfectly curled, and lips as red as blood is what her reflection wore. She looked elegant, perfectly primped, and polished, a stark contrast to the way she looked on an everyday basis. Granted, she couldn't hunt killers wearing a full-length gown without an enormous clothing budget—not that she couldn't do it, but she doubted the FBI would allow her to step out of uniform rules.  

“Well, look at you,” her father’s voice echoed through the room. “I think this might be your best dress yet.”  

“You say that because it’s mom’s dress,” (Y/N) muttered softly as she ran her hands softly against the beads. “It is beautiful, though.” 

“I say it because it’s true, my little bird,” David smiled, placing his hands on her exposed shoulders. “You look absolutely radiant. It was made for you, my darling.” 

“I wish she was here to see me in it,” she sighed. “Do you think she would have minded me wearing it?” 

“Oh, little bird, she would have been absolutely thrilled. She told me to keep all of her gowns to make sure you could wear them one day. You were her absolute pride and joy.”  

(Y/N) couldn’t quite imagine her mother in the same dress. She tried to visualize the way the fabric would hug her body, tried to imagine the way her hair would be styled, even how her makeup would have been done, but the image never came into focus. There was no definition to her edges, no clear distinction to who she was. All (Y/N) saw was herself.  

“You look so much like her, mia bella,” David cooed. “An angel in every sense of the word, my beautiful daughter.”  

“Stop, dad,” she grinned as her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red than the shade she wore. “You're making me blush.”  

“Can a father not tell the truth?” 

“Not right now,” (Y/N) smiled brightly, interlocking her arm with David's. “We don't wanna be late to the gala. Especially when I have the hottest date on my arm.”  

“I can't disagree there,” the man smirked. “I will most definitely outshine everyone tonight.”  

“Then, what are we waiting for? Let's head out already.” 

Dressed in a couple of hundred dollars more than they had arrived at the Rossi mansion, (Y/N) and David started their drive to the Washington, D.C. Four Seasons. The patriarch had hired a car service, knowing neither of them would be sober enough to drive home safely, and if anyone asked his daughter, the streets were safer without his road rage on the streets. Somehow, an older Italian man with short patience, a holiday, and crowded roads did not mix well.  

She was also grateful David was having a lively conversation with their driver rather than focusing on her well-manicured fidgeting fingers. (Y/N) wasn't sure what she was expecting at the venue. Hotchner would be there; there wasn't any way around that. But she didn't know what would happen once the night went on and the drinks were flowing.  

Things had seemed to shift between them in the past year. They had begun to spend more time together, growing closer on a personal and seemingly emotional level. Maybe she was reading into things, but (Y/N) thought there was something happening between her and her years-long more-than-a-crush. It could have been her deepest desires clouding her mind, of course. The mind could play unkind tricks, feeding a person's ego and aiding in their delusions. That could very well be what was happening to her, but she didn't think so. At least, she hoped it wasn't that.  

The entry to the hotel was already bustling by the time the Rossis arrived. Agents old and new dressed in their Sunday best crowded the entry of the Four Seasons, funneling into the building for their annual New Year's Gala. Men and women with their respective partners or dates for the night put aside hours of their night to bring in the new year with their units. Plus, good food and unlimited drinks were often a great incentive to pack the place.  

“Emily told me the BAU was given the Seasons room on the lower lobby level,” (Y/N) whispered to her father as they snaked their way into the crowd, smiling and nodding toward agents they might have known in passing. “People have been moving in and out of all the event spaces and mingling amongst each other. But that's where they're waiting.”  

“Let’s not keep them waiting then,” he smiled. “We all know the party doesn’t start until we arrive.” 

“Oh, god, dad,” she chuckled. “Please don’t say that when we see them.” 

“Why not? It’s not a lie.” 

“You forget the part where it is not funny,” the woman said. “ 

“You laughed.” 

“Because I don’t want my aging father to feel like he isn’t still funny,” (Y/N) teased. “Thought you’d appreciate the laugh.”   

“I might be getting older, but I am not yet old, little bird,” he said, the same beaming smile he always wore splattered across his face. “Can’t have you wasting your pity laughter so early on. Although, I do know that was real laughter—it better be.”   

“Whatever you say, dad. You’re the funniest man I know.”   

Suddenly, an arm wrapped around each of the Rossis, a hearty laugh filling their ears as they reached the group of their friends and teammates. “Were you two talking about me?” Derek grinned as he exchanged glances between the two. “Because there can’t be anyone funnier than me.”  

“Same suit from three years ago, Derek?” (Y/N) teased. “You’re losing your sense of style there, buddy. What happened to your ‘a suit a year brings new cheer’ saying?”   

“Well, I may look great in a different tux every year, but my pocket doesn’t love it,” he responded. “And, honestly, I didn’t think anyone would notice. Although, I should have known you or Reid would.”   

“Yeah, she’s the reason I rent my dresses now,” Emily added. “She remembered the dress I wore two years ago was the one I wore to an event in 2008, all because she remembered seeing a picture in my living room. There’s no sense in buying a new dress every year, but I’m definitely not showing up in one I’ve put on more than twice.”   

“I don’t do it to embarrass you, guys. I just can’t help it when the thought pops into my head. Sometimes, I just have to say it, or else my mind will go crazy.”   

“Exactly!” Spencer exclaimed. “It’s not our fault our brains work this way.”  

“Guys, it doesn’t matter who’s wearing what,” David interjected with a smile. “All that matters is that in a few hours, the new year will come, and this whole year will be forgotten.”  

“Actually...”  

“If I have to listen to the story of New Year’s again,” the man interrupted Spencer, rubbing his temple, “I’m gonna need a stiff drink.”   

“I’ll go get it,” (Y/N) offered. “Anyone else need a refill?”   

A chuckle escaped the woman’s mouth as various hands shot up, all but the one she had been in search of since the moment she had arrived. The whole team sat around their designated table, all chattering and smiles, except their trusted unit chief. With a gentle sigh, she walked over to the crowded bar, trying her best to catch the bartender’s attention through the couple of heads ahead of her. To no avail.  

Everyone else was louder, taller, more assertive while she stood in the background trying to break through. The second she tried to speak up, someone else talked over her. She believed she would stand there the rest of the night just to get a couple of drinks.  

“I’m sorry,” a voice interjected. “But I believe she was next in line to order.”   

Behind her, Hotchner towered over her stature, staring down the man who had cut her off just as she had managed to reach the front of the bar. He placed a protective hand on the low of her back, his eyes stuck on the man beside them. His gaze remained stoic until the agent felt embarrassed enough to move to the other side of the bar where the other bartender was, excusing himself with a quiet ‘sorry’ and his head hanging low.  

“Go ahead, (Y/N),” Hotch smiled. “You can order now.”  

The woman couldn’t help the way her heart hammered in her chest as his hand sent waves of warmth through her body. (Y/N) tried to keep her words steady, thankful for the makeup on her face that covered the blood pooling on her cheeks as her body shook with nerves. Hotch remained in the same position as she ordered drinks for the group, adding a whiskey on the rocks at the end for himself. Maybe he hadn’t paid the move any mind, but she could not stop focusing on it until both their hands were occupied with a few glasses each.  

“Thanks for that,” (Y/N) managed to croak out as they walked back to the team. “I thought I was going to be stuck there all night.”   

“I’m sure you would have been able to handle yourself fine,” he said. “But a little help never hurt anybody.”  

“And it's very much appreciated,” she smiled. “Is Jack with Jessica tonight?”  

“Yeah. We had our own New Year's celebration before I left,” he chuckled as he remembered what had occurred only an hour before. “He asked me why there were no fireworks outside, and we had to watch them on TV. I told him fireworks weren't a thing this year, but I'm not sure he believed me.”  

“I don't think he did. That boy really loves the lights,” (Y/N) laughed. “But there's always Fourth of July for fireworks.” 

“I just hope he doesn't keep his aunt up to see if it's true.”  

Once they reached the table, the woman realized they were not the only two people in the world. For a minute, everything around them had vanished. It was just her in her mother's champagne beaded gown and Hotchner in a stunning black tux. For that minute, she could imagine there was something more between them than she thought there was.  

For the next couple of hours, while they sat at the table and dinner was served, the only thing she could think of was Hotch's hand on her back. She remembered in vivid detail the way his fingers stretched and flexed against her exposed skin, his warmth sinking into her with a comforting and intoxicating touch. (Y/N) tried her best not to let it show just how much that simple move had affected her, but she could feel her eyes drifting toward him every couple of minutes.  

What she didn't know was just how much it had stuck to Hotch's mind as well. That minute of having his hand flush against her back had made his heart skip a beat. His breath had hitched in his throat as he felt the softness of her skin against his. If it had been up to him, he would have kept it there the rest of the night. But the imminent threat of an overbearing man had been long gone, and he couldn't justify keeping the protective hold on her, especially with a couple of drinks occupying his hands. At the table, his eyes would drift to her when she wasn't looking. He couldn't help looking at her whenever she laughed or talked. Her magnetism was unavoidable, and he was susceptible to it.  

Throughout the entirety of the dinner, and the few drinks that had come and gone from the table, Hotchner could only think of a way to get her alone. For what? He wasn't really sure. All he knew was he wanted as much time with her as he possibly could have. The rest, he had yet to plan for that.  

As the night went on, the chances grew slimmer and slimmer. There had been awards and speeches, various presentations and slideshows shown, and midnight was quickly approaching. The formalities of the night had come and gone, and the fun had begun. The lights had gone down, music had been turned up, and people had left their tables to fill the dance floor and wait until the clock struck twelve.  

In the commotion, Hotchner had lost (Y/N). One second, he'd been drinking in the image of her dressed in gold, and the next, she had disappeared in a sea of FBI agents. His eyes scoured the crowd, his mind focused on only one person. And when they finally fell on her, rage bubbled from deep inside him. Back at the bar, (Y/N) had taken a seat. She was nursing a drink while the same guy from the start of the night seemed to be pestering her. Hotch could read her body language from a mile away, and she needed a way out.  

“Come on,” the man insisted. “Just tell me if you’re here as a guest or you’re an agent. It’s a simple question.” 

“I don’t feel comfortable giving out that kind of information to someone I don’t know.” 

“My name’s Pete, how about that?” he said, slurring his words. “Now you know who I am.” 

“Just because I know a name doesn’t mean I know you, Pete,” (Y/N) stated as she swirled her drink around. She had come to the bar to escape the heat that had overtaken her being so close to Hotch. But instead of solace, she had found an even bigger hindrance than body heat. “Now, I’d like to enjoy my drink alone.” 

“Definitely an agent. Wouldn’t be this closed off if you weren’t,” the man muttered, seemingly trying to do it under his breath but failing. “No one should be alone on a holiday, miss. And as bad of a start as we had, I make great company.” 

“As much as I would love to find out if that’s true, I’m sure your own date would appreciate your company. Me? I’d rather down this old-fashioned in peace.” 

“Come on. At least tell me your name.” 

“Can’t do that, Pete,” she said. “Best you go back to who you came with.” 

“Oh, Alyssa doesn’t mind,” he chuckled awkwardly. “She knows I need room to breathe. And you look like a breath of fresh air.”  

“I’m more of a deadly gas, but thank you,” (Y/N) smiled sarcastically. “Now, like I said, I want to drink alone.”   

“Come on, baby, you shouldn’t be alone tonight,” Pete pressed on. “Who else will you kiss at midnight?”  

“It’s not gonna be you, man.” Hotch appeared seemingly out of nowhere for the second time that night. At least, that’s how it appeared to her. She had not witnessed the intense focus the man had held on to her for the past few hours and how long he had spent looking for her. “I believe she has told you already to leave her be.”   

“Look, man, this has nothing to do with you,” Pete argued as he squared up to Hotchner, trying his best to match up to the man’s height. “We’re just talking here. Why don’t you get lost already?”  

“I don’t think that’s what the lady here wants,” Hotch said sternly. “Now, your date might be okay with you venturing out, but I’m not. And as her date, I would heavily advise you to take two steps back and keep walking, Pete.”  

The unit chief pronounced every syllable of the man’s name, his tone even but menacing. His eyes burned red with anger, and he had taken the empty space on her left side permanently. Just like he had done at the beginning of the night, Hotch held his gaze firmly on Pete. And it didn’t waver until the man finally cowered and left, a deep red hue painted across his face.  

“My hero,” (Y/N) chuckled once Pete was finally far away. “Second time in a few hours, too. You just seem to be there when I need you.”   

“What are friends for?” he smiled, his eyes softening as they fell on her. “Are you okay? Did he do anything?”  

“I’m fine,” she said. “You arrived just in time, twice, and apparently as my date tonight.”  

“I’m sorry. Was that too much?”  

“It was perfect,” (Y/N) grinned, feeling emboldened enough to place her hand on his. “Although you know that means you owe me a kiss at midnight, right?”   

“Well, it’s not like that would be torture.” The words took them both aback. In part because Hotch had said it and in part because it had not seemed like a joke. “You know, it’s almost 12.”  

“Right. Just a few minutes until the New Year.”  

“Why don’t we, uh, head somewhere a bit more quiet?”  

“We can go up to the courtyard,” she offered. “The office separated the space, but there wasn’t really anyone there because of the cold.”  

Hotchner held out his hand for her, helping her off the bar stool and leading her toward the only place everyone seemed to be avoiding. Just as she had said, only a floor up, the courtyard was empty, save for a few employees taking a quick smoke break, but a few space heaters had been scattered around the area—not that it helped in the cold of the middle of winter, but it made things a bit more bearable. Before closing the door behind them, he grabbed two champagne flutes and closed them away from the rest of the world.  

“I didn’t notice how loud it was in there until now,” (Y/N) pointed out. “I’m glad we’re out here.”  

“Well, I couldn’t let you be anywhere near Mr. Pete. Now, could I?”  

“I’m sure Pete will remember you for the rest of the year,” she laughed. “And I don’t think he and Alyssa will be attending next year—at least not together.”  

“I think he got enough air,” Hotchner joined in her laughter. “We’ll see just how much he gets when Alyssa catches wind of what he's been up to.”  

A comfortable silence fell between them as commotion started inside the event hall. Everyone shuffled around inside to gather at the front of any screen that was playing the countdown. There was only a minute left on the clock, and it would officially be a new year. It was a chance for renewal, a chance for new beginnings, a chance for love, or maybe something more. The new year brought the semblance of choices, the hope that somehow something worthwhile would come to your life despite all the pain and heartache the past may have brought. It brought the chance of solidifying maybes.  

“It's almost midnight,” Hotch whispered as he draped his suit jacket across her shoulders. (Y/N) hadn't noticed her body had started to shake until she felt the warmth of his body seep through her skin, melting away any ounce of cold that had been embedded in her bones. “Do you have your resolutions for the new year?” 

“Something like that,” she smiled up at him, getting as close as she could without scaring him off. “Other rituals haven't seemed to work for me, so maybe some simple wishing will do the trick this time.” 

Hotch didn't back down from her approach. Instead, he took a step closer. “And what will those wishes be?”  

“If I tell you, they won't come true,” she said, finally closing the distance between them. Her chest was pressed against his, her eyes fluttering up to his as a smile stretched across her crimson lips. “Are you willing to risk yours?” 

“Not so sure,” he whispered. “I'm kind of hoping they come true, and we're far too close to midnight to take chances. Only twenty seconds to go.”  

“We don't have to do this, Hotch,” (Y/N) stated, feeling nerves bubbling deep in her chest. “It was just a silly joke.”  

“I don't mind,” Hotchner said. “At the end of the day, it's just a kiss.”   

But it wasn't. Not to either of them. Even if the other didn't know, that kiss meant more to them than they would ever want to admit. It would be the ellipsis to the question they had been too scared to ask, the cementing of the feelings they had harbored for years but were too terrified to admit, the beginning of a whirlwind of doubts they would carry in their hearts. Maybe it was a dumb decision. Maybe they should have walked away at that moment. 

But when the crowd inside the hotel yelled out the last five seconds, their hearts were beating as one—fast and loud, thrilling anticipation coursing through their veins. That was it. The new year. Only one second away.  

“On...” The words died in (Y/N)'s mouth as Hotch crashed his lips to her. One of his hands circled her waist, while the other cradled her cheek as he pulled her to her like she belonged to him—not that he knew that she always had. He savored her taste and reveled in her warmth, thanking whatever being was out there for allowing him that fleeting moment with her. The kiss was sudden and desperate. Hotchner believed it would be the first and the last, and he planned to take advantage of every second she allowed.  

As soon as their lips had touched, fireworks erupted in the sky. They perfectly embodied the moment, creating a visual of what was going on in their insides at that very second. It was now the new year, and they were both spending it with the one person that had clouded their mind the entirety of the past year. Even if they thought the kiss meant nothing to the other person, it meant the world to them.  

“Happy New Year, (Y/N),” Hotchner said as he was forced to break the kiss for air. His arms were still circled around her waist, keeping her close for as long as she let him.  

“Happy New Year, Aaron,” she smiled brightly before noticing his lips. “You have red lipstick on you.” 

“Oh, god.” 

He went to wipe it, but all he did was smear it around. “Here,” she said as she reached her thumb to his lip. “Let me.” 

Their eyes locked on the other, an inkling of something unspoken shining in them. So many feelings and confessions lingered between the two, waiting anxiously for the moment they were able to break free. They trembled under the surface, pushing against their lies and their silence. All they wanted was to be revealed.  

But that would not be the moment.  

“There you guys are,” David’s voice startled them apart. His back was turned to them as he motioned to the team from behind the door, shielding their closeness from them until they were a safe distance apart. “Wow, what a view you guys got here.” 

“Uh, yeah,” (Y/N) said. “Hotch wanted to record the fireworks for Jack since he couldn’t see them.”  

“You guys should have told us you were here,” Penelope exclaimed. “It’s gorgeous! Look at those lights!” 

“Yeah, we just sort of ended up here,” Hotch interjected. “Thought I would get a better view of the fireworks from here than the patio downstairs.”  

“Well, you were right, friend,” David said as he clapped Hotchner’s back. “Perfect place to say goodbye to the old year.” 

“It really is,” he said, fighting the urge to let his eyes drift toward (Y/N). “Happy New Year, David.” 

As everyone hugged and wished each other a happy new year, Hotch and (Y/N) remained next to each other, their arms by their sides. Each of them felt the overwhelming urge to reach their hands toward the other, their need for closeness itching deep in their veins. But there, in front of their team and her father, they could not give in. Especially while they each thought the other did not feel the same.  

By the time they had finished saying their well wishes, a flurry of stark white snowflakes had begun descending from the sky.  

“It’s snowing,” (Y/N) smiled, looking at the sky alongside the rest of the team. “It’s so beautiful.” 

“Yeah,” Hotch said, taking advantage of the team’s distraction to stare directly at the woman beside him. “It is.”  

Winter was never kind, but that one seemed to be a chilly one. At that time, as she hugged Hotch’s jacket tighter to her body, (Y/N) didn’t think it to be a premonition of the year that awaited them. All she could think of was the kiss that she had just shared with Hotch, not knowing he was thinking of the same thing.  

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[lettheladylead]

happy three years since i posted the first chapter of running in circles!!! drew some scenes to celebrate (picked with a random number generator lol)

i couldnt remember what time of day the first scene takes place in and i was in too much of a rush to reread lol its fine. [first+second] [third]

[lilgarbitch]

Running In Circles - Four

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Reader

CW: Slight dom!Noah, oral (f receiving), a surprise piercing, unprotected p in v (don’t be them), angst (like i might piss you off with this one😘), fake dating??

Word Count: 14k

Author’s Note: Don’t hate the player (me), hate the game (my mind coming up with all of this)  Also, sorry not sorry but I did add so much more to this than I was planning to. I’m a yapper and the word count just kept going up and up and I didn’t want to be done yet.

Reader discretion is advised. 18+

Part Three

Y/N

I threw on the random hoodie I brought and my slippers and took a quick look at myself. Ugh. I had no make-up on, my hair looked insane in the bun I put it in, and it looks like I’m not even wearing pants. I took my hair out of the bun and shook it out, parting it so it didn’t look bad, and hoped it would curly nicely and not look unruly over time. I mean, everyone was bound to see me without makeup at some point, so I might as well get it over with now, right? Plus, if any conversation goes south- actually, never mind, I hope I don’t cry in front of him. He’s allowed to see me without make-up, but I almost never cry in front of someone. 

With one last sigh, I grab my keycard and phone and head out the door. After a quick elevator ride, I end up in front of his door. I knock on it softly, not wanting to bother anyone else in the hallway. I hear movement behind the door before it finally opens to a bare-chested Noah. I do my best not to gawk and keep my eyes on his face and smile. He looks a little shocked, but it’s instantly replaced with a grin. 

“Hi,” I say.

“Hi.. uh. Come in,” he walks away from the door into the room, and I follow him, closing the door behind me. I kick my slippers off and set my phone and keycard down on the TV stand before turning to him, seeing him sitting on a bed. I sit down a few feet from him, look up at him, and do my best to give him a confident smile. 

“Sorry, I look a little crazy. I got ready for bed but couldn’t sleep, so I’m not necessarily the most appealing right now.” I laugh out, looking down at myself before looking back at him. He smiles and shakes his head. 

“No. You look good. It’s nice seeing you like this. And I’m glad you’re comfortable. You had a long day.” I blushed, sadly not having anything to hide it this time, making him chuckle softly. “And it’s nice being able to see that, too.”

I shake my head at his comment with a laugh. 

“How are you feeling?” He asks, trying not to sound too worried for the answer. I give him a sweet smile.

”I’m good. I think my brain just got a little overwhelmed and needed a quick restart,” I answered with a small chuckle, “But I promise everything is fine.”

I can almost see his shoulders relax at my answer.

”Was it performing? I know that sometimes takes a lot out of me, especially since we went kind of strong with drinking last night and it was only the second day of tour, so your body might’ve been too exhausted after your show. An incredible, but very exertive show,” he asks with a slight pitying look.

”That was definitely part of it, but there’s been something on my mind for… well, a long time now, and it’s been draining me. It’s actually what I came to talk to you about.”

“And what’s that..?” He eyed me, slightly nervous, either out of concern, or the mentioning of needing to talk. I scrunch my face and looked down, debating whether I wanted to outright say it or not. But after spilling my guts to the boys, I definitely have a little more confidence left in me to be able to. 

“So..this is gonna be crazy to hear, especially out of nowhere..” he looks at me intently, so I continue, “You know how we talked about that festival..?” He raised his eyebrows at this, confusing me a little, before nodding.

“Okay, so…well.. I actually don’t know how to explain this without you thinking I’m a complete freak.” I laugh. 

“Just say it. I might know where you’re going with this.” he rushes out. I give him a suspicious look but continue.

“So..at that festival, something really weird happened. Like, ’I can’t even explain’ weird..” I trailed off, but his attention stayed locked on me, almost like he knew what I was going to say.

“I just remember seeing you..and it was like...I got lost? I don’t know. It was the first time I ever even heard of you guys. Finn made me join him because he had been listening for a while. And the second you walked out on stage..something came over me. God, I honestly don’t know why I’m even telling you this..maybe because I feel like I need to give an explanation as to why I’ve been acting so weird?” I was now looking down at my hands, fiddling with my nails.

“Go on,” he said more seriously this time, making me more nervous. I chewed on my lip, trying to force myself to open up more.

“I don’t know...I just..got locked in some type of trance? As weird as that sounds. It was the craziest thing that had ever happened to me. Something just shut off my brain the instant my eyes landed on you. I definitely looked like a freak, just standing there, unable to move. I..don’t know why it happened. I don't even know what happened. It was honestly kind of scary.” I continued, shaking my head with slight frustration. I was about to say more, but he cut me off.

“Imagine how it felt being on stage as it happened.” I heard him say, barely above a whisper, making my head snap up. 

“What?” I watch as he rubs a hand over his face and groans, falling back onto the bed.

“Imagine that exact thing happened, but you’re the one performing. You’re just singing and trying to connect with the crowd, and all of a sudden, a magnet pulls you into a pair of eyes, locking you in. And you’re unable to pull away. Thousands of people watching as you lose all control of your mind and body.” he says, and I couldn’t tell if he was irritated or relieved by his tone, but I didn’t care because I just stared at him in complete and utter disbelief before letting out a choked laugh.

“So you’re saying..” He lets out an airy huff of a laugh before answering.

“Yes, Y/N. Somehow, who knows if… it was the gods above? Or the universe itself? Something gave us the exact same experience. And oh my fucking god, am I relieved to hear that. “ He finally looks over at me as I stare down at him, still shocked. 

“Then would you judge me if I said that you have plagued my every waking thought since that day..?” I ask, slightly embarrassed but also trying to get more information. He sits up to rest on his elbow and face me, staring deep into my eyes as if to see if I was telling the truth. It was almost like we were having a deep conversation about a crazy conspiracy theory we both believed. Intrigued, yet incredibly shocked.

“How can I judge when the exact same thing has happened to me? Is happening to me. God, Y/N, I can’t even sleep at night without thinking of that day. I don’t know if it’s me dwelling on the insane feeling I got or what, but you haunt my fucking dreams.” He confessed.

“Fucking tell me about it! At least you don’t see my face plastered on magazines and online almost every day. “

“Yeah, but at least you knew who I was for those first few years. You were just some girl in the crowd. The day I found you and your band, I thought I officially lost it and started hallucinating." He fell back onto the bed after speaking, and I did the same. I just stared up at the ceiling, thinking about everything. I couldn’t even think straight. The same thing happened to him? Was it actually affecting him as badly as it affected me? 

“So, yeah. I think you’re why I passed out earlier,” I softly reconfessed after about a minute. I heard shuffling and turn to see him flipped over, now closer to me with a concerned look, so I continued, “ I don’t know what happened. You complimented me, and I don’t know if it was the fact that we almost… kissed earlier, the rush of all the memories coming back, everything I did on stage, or all of the above. I just got so in my head that I just fucking passed out.” I finished, chuckling a little at myself at the end. He dipped his head so his forehead touched the mattress as he laughed with me. 

“What the fuck is happening?” he said, muffled into the mattress. 

“I don’t know, man, but I fucking passed out because of it,” I responded, making both of us laugh harder. I watched him as his head was dipped, making his shoulders even more pronounced as they moved with his laughing. I let out a loud groan and dropped both hands onto my face. 

“Dude, I’ve written songs about you,” I whine out, slightly muffled by my hands. He continued to laugh. I was just confessing everything now, wasn’t I?

“I got yelled at by the guys because I tried making a whole album about you.” That brought back my laughter. But only for a few seconds before I dropped my hands in realization. 

“Noah..which songs are about me?” I jokingly ask, possibly a little too sternly. His laughter died down, but a half smile still stayed. 

“Uhh…” he trails off with a sheepish grin, not wanting to answer. I roll to my side to lay against my elbow, using my other hand to reach out and grab his hand with a gritted smile.

“Noah. Which. Songs.” I try to force out of him. He looks down at the grip I had on his hand and chuckles. 

“At this point, you should ask which songs aren’t about you.” he tries not to answer fully. I roll my eyes before staring back at him.

“Goddess is about you. Finn made me change it because he thought it was good but was concerned about me saying all those things about a guy.” I confess, waiting to see his reaction. He looks up at me in shock before dropping his head back down and letting out a groan, louder this time, with his face pressed against both of our hands.

“You little shit.” He growls into the mattress, a little too serious. 

“What..?” Was that a bad thing to tell him? Suddenly, he looks back up at me with a mischievous, almost evil look in his eye, making mine widen. 

“You sly little thing,” he says through a gritted, evil smile as he sat up, his hand now grabbing the one I put on his, as he moved to tower over me, grabbing my other hand and raising them above my head. I looked up at him, shocked.

“Do you understand what you did to me yesterday? When you stared me down as you sang those lyrics so beautifully? God, you’re like a fucking siren, Y/N.” He stared down at me with dark eyes, and I stared back at him, stunned. 

“I’m sorry..?” I squeak out. He shocked me with the sudden movement and change of tone, but I was a little too stuck on how fucking good he looked towering over me. His head drops with a hiss as I answer, I guess it having some effect on him. I took that moment to stare at his chest, which was now right in front of my eyes. The intricate tattoos scattered across it, covering it entirely. I wanted to touch them. God, I wanted to touch him. 

“You don’t understand how badly I want to make you beg for forgiveness right now.” He finally looked back up at me, his eyes now absolutely shot with how pitch black they were. I stare deep into them, feeling heat travel through my body, hitting me right in my core. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words would come out.

He drops down and lets his head fall in the crook of my neck, forehead resting against it. I bite back a gasp, feeling him so close to me for the first time. My stomach tightens as my head is running with thoughts I couldn’t take control of. His scent infiltrates my nostrils as he lays against me, reminding me what was actually happening. This wasn’t another dream.  I hold my breath to fight the groan wanting to escape my throat.

“You knew exactly what you were doing when you eye-fucked me as you sang those words. Fuck, I wanted to pull you off that stage so bad, you don’t even understand. I couldn’t even watch you perform it today, knowing how little control over myself I have when you’re there.” He spoke into my neck, then lifted his head to stare deep into my eyes, “And then you show up at my door, wearing my hoodie?” he practically growls. I glance down at the hoodie I threw on earlier, seeing that it was, in fact, his, before looking back up at him with my mouth gaped. My mind was blank, too shocked to even fully process everything happening, and also completely okay with being in his control in this moment.

One of his hands lowered to my head, sliding behind as he gripped the side of it, my ear sitting flush between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to hold his gaze. The other large hand held both my wrists above me with such ease, and I was both terrified and incredibly turned on by how much power he had over me. And he could absolutely sense the effect he had on me.

“You have no fucking clue how badly I’ve wanted to do this since I first saw you,” he spoke in a hushed growl before finally bringing his lips to mine. I was shocked at first, but instantly melted into him. There was a mix of hunger, passion, and outright lust in the kiss. As cliche as it was, electricity shot through my body, and I think I saw sparks behind my eyelids. My hands strained against his, desperately wanting to touch him. He finally let them go after a weak whimper slipped out of my mouth and into his. They immediately attached to him, one slipping around the back of his head, holding him closer as it gripped the hair at the nape of his neck. The other moved to his chest, finally feeling a bit of relief as I touched his bare skin. He felt hot to the touch and incredibly toned as my hand traveled across every inch of skin I could reach. 

It landed at his side, and I subconsciously pulled him closer, causing his hips to fall into mine. We both let out a groan as I felt him growing against my core. He pulled away from the kiss, panting as his hands flew to the bottom of my- his hoodie, and he looked down at me with a pleading look. I nodded, and within an instant, both the hoodie and shirt were pulled over my head and thrown across the room. His breath hitched as he stared down at my now bare chest, trailing over every inch of my skin. 

“You are a fucking work of art,” he gushed, his hands now traveling across my skin. My hair was now splayed above my head, so every tattoo from my neck to my waist was on display. His hand reached up and gently trailed over my neck piece before traveling down to my chest, his eyes taking in every single detail. His fingers grazed down my sternum and onto my stomach, shaping out each line of ink scattered across my skin. Once he reached my lower stomach, the touch became too much as my hips bucked against his, causing a low growl to erupt from deep in his chest. 

In one quick motion, he lowered himself back down and smashed his lips back into mine. Slowly, he started trailing wet kisses over my cheek, across my jaw, and then down my neck. I tilted my head, giving him more access. He reached my pulse and bit down softly, making my back arch as a whine escaped my lips. I felt every inch of my body start to heat up against his touch.  He began grinding his hips against mine as he nipped and kissed across my neck, leaving marks I’ll definitely have to cover tomorrow. My hand on his neck gripped harder and I let out a loud whimper, overwhelmed with the feeling. It felt so good, but was both too much and not enough at the same time. 

“Noah..” I begged. He instantly bit down harshly in the crook of my neck as I spoke, I guess as a reaction to hearing his name. A gasp escaped my lips at his actions.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he growled, causing an ache in my core. He laid soft kisses against the bite mark, almost as an apology.

“Please..” I softly whined. He slowly started trailing kisses further down my body, leaving an occasional mark. Once he stopped at my breasts, his mouth hovered over the hardening bud, causing me to shiver at the feeling of his breath hitting it. A hand traveled up and rested on my jaw as he looked up at me.

“I need words, Darling.” He took the bud into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it. My breath hitched as his hand slid down and took the other into his grasp, his thumb gliding delicately over my nipple.

“Noah… please. I need something. I need more.” I spoke, barely above a whisper. Keeping a playful gaze with me, he raised his lower body ever so slightly and moved the hand on my chest down until it reached the waistband of my shorts, hooking a finger under them. His teeth grazed against the sensitive nub for a moment before taking me into his mouth and biting down, causing my back to arch and hips to press against his again. He took that opportunity to slide my shorts down as far as he could, leaving me just in my underwear. 

He pulled his head from my chest with a soft ‘pop’ before grazing his lips down my stomach, leaving kisses every few inches. He slid himself down the bed until he was now standing at the edge, leaning over me, softly placing kisses along the waistband of my underwear. I was a whimpering mess as his lips slowly trailed lower and lower until he was leaving sloppy, wet kisses against the insides of my thighs. His hands held a strong grip on my hips before hooking a finger into my underwear, about to pull them down. But then I sat up onto my elbows, remembering something.

“Wait!” I rushed out, causing him to look up at me, worried like he had done something wrong. He went to stand up, but I held my hand out to stop him.

“No, it’s just… I don’t want it to.. surprise you.” He looked at me confused for a few moments, ready to ask me to explain, but as he took in my appearance once more, realization washed over him. His eyes darkened even more, if it was even possible. He stared into my eyes as his hand traveled between my legs, a finger grazing my slit through the fabric, making my breath pick up. He let out a groan, feeling the metal brush against his finger. He applied more pressure, causing my head to fall back with a whine. In the blink of an eye, his hands ripped my panties down my legs, making me gasp at the sudden cold. I watched as he trailed his eyes down between my legs, licking his bottom lip and then biting back an even louder groan. 

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me,” he said before kneeling down on the floor, roughly pulling me towards him. His hands now grasped against my thighs, rough enough to leave a bruise, as he took one and rested it over his shoulder. I watched through half-lidded eyes as he got closer, staring at me like I was a dessert he was dying to taste. I felt his breath against my heat before he started leaving soft kisses over my mound, getting closer and closer to where I desperately needed him to be. He took one look at me before licking a stride through my slit, causing my breath to completely leave my body. He groaned as his tongue grazed over the piercing, sending a shock through my body. 

“F-fuck,” was all I could get out before he attacked the bundle of nerves. He didn’t ease into it for a second, instantly flicking his tongue over my clit, applying a beautiful amount of pressure that caused a loud moan to escape my lips. One of my hands slapped against my mouth, trying to silence the noises, not knowing who could possibly hear us. His hands gripped even harder as he absolutely devoured me. He licked long strides up and down before paying close attention to my clit, licking and sucking on it, leaving me a whimpering mess. He groaned into me as his tongue played with the piercing right above my clit, causing me to arch my back and bite back the loudest moan. My other hand reached out, gripping the bedsheet, needing something to hold onto. I feel a hand lace in with mine and look down to see that he was now holding onto it as he stared up at me from between my legs. The sight was like none other. I see his other hand slowly trail down from my thigh. He lifts his head and looks up at me, mouth glistening as I feel his finger slowly rub up and down, collecting my slick. 

“I wanna hear you,” he growls before sliding a finger into me. I gasp at the sudden feeling and squeeze his hand tight. I move the hand from my mouth and hold it above my head, gripping at anything above me as the pleasure courses through my body, and I let out a loud moan. He pumps the finger into me, slowly picking up speed, before adding another and hooking them up into that spot with ease. My eyes rolled back, and I couldn’t control a single noise that left my body. His lips attach themselves to me again and I could instantly feel my stomach tighten. After a few moments, feeling the cord inside me tighten as it was ready to snap, he stops. I let out a loud whimper at the empty feeling once he removes his fingers and unhooks my leg from his shoulder. I look down to see him stand up and pull down his pants and boxers just enough that his cock has room to spring up. I bite my lip to hold back my gasp at the size. 

“I can’t go another second without feeling you,” he groans out, crawling over me, hooking my legs around his waist as he leaned down. His hand comes up and settles back to where it was before, holding the side of my head. He leans down and kisses me, hungrier than before. I feel him brush against my opening, and it makes me gasp, which he uses to his advantage and deepens the kiss. I taste a mix of mint and me on his tongue as my hands wrap around him and hold him close.

He reaches a hand down between our bodies to line himself up with me, never stopping the kiss for a second. I feel him slowly ease himself into me, and my eyebrows furrow at the stretch. The thumb of the hand that held my head softly rubbed against my cheek, trying to soothe me. Inch by inch, he slips deeper and deeper. My brain battled between the pain of the stretch and the pleasure of the fullness until he bottomed out. He pulled away from the kiss and dug his head into the crook of my neck, not moving so we both could adjust to the feeling. 

“You okay?” he asked softly as he left kisses over the love bites he left earlier. I waited a few moments until the pain finally dulled before nodding. And with that, he started moving his hips. Slowly at first, but soon picked up a delicious pace that had me squirming in his grasp. He dragged in and out of me so beautifully that we were both whining messes. The noises he made in my ear could’ve sent me over the edge alone. He lifted himself so he could look into my eyes as he continued pumping into me.

“Fuck. You feel so fucking good,” He moaned out, sending waves of pleasure through me. I had no control over myself, moaning and whining every time the head of his cock hit against the spot perfectly, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. Tears brimmed my eyes as the pleasure almost became too much. 

He slowed down his movements ever so slightly just to change pace and start ramming into me. His hips would pause for a second, then slam into mine, shooting electricity through my nerves every single thrust. My eyes began to roll back at the feeling, but his grip on my head tightened as he lifted slightly, forcing me to look into his eyes.

“Eyes on me, angel.” he sternly spoke, his tone sending an ache right to my core. I felt like putty in his hands. I kept my eyes on him the best I could, my eyebrows burrowing slightly as he repetitively hit the spot that was sending me closer and closer to the edge. My eyes kept fighting to roll back, but the last thing my brain wanted me to do was disobey his orders. Soon, the pleasure became too much. I felt the knot in my stomach get tighter and tighter. 

“You gonna cum, pretty girl?” he whined, almost like I was pathetic. I bit my lip as a loud whimper escaped them. Fuck, he knew exactly how to get to me. 

“I can feel you squeezing me.” He sat up more, now hitting me at a new, more mind-blowing angle. He put one hand on my thigh that was wrapped around him, and he rested the other on my stomach, right below the navel, making me gasp at the new feeling. I knew he could feel himself slam against his hand the second he did that, just by the moan he let out. “ Go on, angel…I wanna feel you cum around me.” 

After a few more debilitatingly good thrusts, each hitting right where his hand was, I completely came undone. My back arched, and my eyes squeezed shut as the cord inside me finally snapped. I let out the most unholy sound I had ever heard, and I didn’t care because I felt so fucking good. He kept pumping into me, riding out my high and searching for his. I feel his hips start to shutter, and I look down to see him watching where our bodies met. After a few more thrusts, he pulled out and began pumping himself, releasing over my stomach with a few curses and a loud groan. He looked so fucking good in a state of bliss. The sweat running down his glistening neck as his chest heaved. I was already turned on again just by looking at him. I watched as he tried to catch his breath for a moment until he finally looked back into my eyes. I know I probably looked insane, utterly fucked out, with a grin on my face. He matched my grin before tucking himself back into his pants and turning around to head into the bathroom. He returned a few seconds later with a wet hotel towel and cleaned me off. 

I gave him a small ‘thank you’ before he tossed the towel by the door, which was now the hotel’s problem to deal with. That made me laugh, him joining in as he turned and rustled through his clothes. He grabbed a pair of shorts and changed into them before turning back to me. He began to walk over to me, but groaned as his eyes raked over my body, before rushing and grabbing my clothes, throwing each piece at me as he found them.

“Put those back on before I ruin you,” he growls, making me giggle. I put my shirt and shorts back on, leaving the panties off since they were going to be too uncomfortable to wear again, and the hoodie because who knows what he’s going to do if he sees me in that again. 

“I think you may have already ruined me,” I joke as my legs shake when I try to pull my shorts up. He huffs.

“You just surprised me with a fucking piercing and then proceeded to squirt on me. If anything, you ruined me.” He huffed out as he tossed his, I’m assuming wet, pants next to his suitcase. I looked up at him, shocked. 

“I- what?” I ask, staring at him in disbelief. He looks down at me and bites his lip before rubbing his face and crawling onto the bed, shoving his face into a pillow. 

“Yes, but please change the subject before I get hard again.” he laughs out. 

“I- I’ve never done that before,” I said, mainly to myself, in shock. He looks up at me and smirks. 

“I’ll pat myself on the back for that later, but unless you’re ready to go again, get your ass over here.” He says, beckoning me to lie down next to him on the bed. I laugh and do as he says. We pull the blankets over us, and he turns off the light. He turns over, gives me a fat, sloppy kiss, and wraps an arm around me.

“It’s nice to know that you like following orders,” he mumbles, making me smack his shoulder and laugh. If only he truly knew what that does for me. I scooch in closer to him, wrapping an arm around him, and try to relax. My body was so tired from today and all of that, but my mind was still racing. I tucked my head into his shoulder, hoping his presence would ease my mind, but thoughts still ran. I barely got to talk to him about anything, but that will be a tomorrow problem. Plus, I am not upset with how our ‘talk’ went at all. Then, a thought popped into my head, making me giggle. 

“So, how’d you like the opal?” I teased. He let out a guttural groan before sitting back up and attacking me once again. I laughed as he dragged me closer to him, attacking my body with kisses. 

“You just don’t know when to stop,” he growled before kissing me, this time a little more sloppy from being tired, but still filled with hunger and passion. At least we’re off tomorrow because I don’t see us getting sleep anytime soon.

I woke up to knocking on the door, causing a soft whine to rumble in my chest as I tried to get up. But something held me down. I slowly open my eyes and turn to my side and see Noah, absolutely knocked out, making me giggle. I managed to lift his arm and slide out without waking him. I felt a chill the second I got out of the covers but realized it was because I was once again naked. I let out a soft snort and quickly tried to find clothes as whoever was at the door knocked again. I found one of Noah’s shirts and my shorts from last night, slipped them on, and walked to the door, opening it. It was Jolly, who was slightly annoyed, but a smirk formed on his lips once his eyes dropped onto me, realizing that I was still here. I stepped away from the door, letting him back into the room.

“Sorry, I just really needed to change because the guys and I are gonna head out for breakfast,” he spoke in a soft tone after noticing that Noah was still passed out. He moved towards his belongings, stepping over random scattered clothes, shaking his head as he saw them. 

“You stayed on his side of the room, correct?” he teased, making me give him an embarrassed smile and nod in response. 

“I would leave, but I also feel bad if he woke up and I wasn’t here,” I mentioned after a few awkward moments of standing there as Jolly grabbed a change of clothes and his toothbrush. He glanced over at the large man sprawled out on his bed, blanket just covering the important parts, before looking back at me.

“Is he naked under there?” he asked bluntly, to which I nodded, chewing on my lip like I had been caught, “Then I’m just gonna get ready in the guys’ room. He’s your problem to deal with.” And with that, he patted my shoulder and left again. 

I turn back to Noah and let out a small giggle. He was dead to the world in this moment. We passed out after who knows how long. All I knew was that I needed to shower again. 

I walk over to the TV stand and pick up my phone, seeing I had a few texts from the boys. I rolled my eyes before checking them.

Finnegan- I just woke up and you’re still not here👀 

Finnegan- Hope you had fun😘

Finnegan- AND STAYED SAFE!! NO BABIES ON TOUR!!

I held my hand over my mouth to hold back my laughter. 

Damien- DON’T BE A FOOL, WRAP YOUR TOOL

Damien- sorry Finn stole my phone. BUT WHAT HE SAID!! I SWEAR IF YOU GET PREGNANT I’M GONNA KICK HIS ASS

Damien- AND YOUR ASS

Damien- BOTH YOUR ASSES

Damien- okay but seriously i love you, be safe and ill see you later❤️

I shake my head as I continue to hold back my giggles. Thank god I wasn’t actually related to these fuckers, because they know too much. I see that Cal also left a message, and I fully expected it to be the same thing, but I absolutely lost it when I read his.

Calpal- WOOOOO🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻YOU FINALLY GOT LAID🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

I toss my phone after reading his, snickering as I shake my head and rub my face. I love them with my whole heart. They’re the closest thing I have to a family. But oh my god, they’re going to be the reason I go grey. 

I continue to laugh to myself before seeing Noah shift in his sleep. I look over and see him rub his eyes and roll over. He was now covered only by the corner of the blanket, and I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh more or attack him. But the soreness made the decision for me, so I just giggled, causing him to finally open his eyes. He looked around, confused at first, before his eyes landed on me. The second he saw me wearing his shirt with probably the worst bedhead ever, you could see last night's memories flood back into his mind as he let his head fall back onto the pillow with a smirk on his face. 

“Good morning,” I said, still giggling. He just responded with a groan and lifted an arm, signaling me to cuddle. I walked over and laid next to him, and he rolled over and flopped himself onto me, resulting in a small ‘oof’ and a laugh. He dug his head into my shoulder and let out a tired groan, which reminded me that I should check the damage he did. If it’s as bad as I think it is, I’m going to need to go buy more concealer. 

“What time is it?” he groaned out, it being muffled as he spoke into my shoulder. 

“I think close to noon, but the boys are heading to breakfast soon if you wanna join them.” He let out a deep sigh and cuddled into me more. 

“I just wanna stay here for today,” he whined but was almost instantly interrupted by his stomach growling. We haven’t been eating the best the past few days, so I knew a large breakfast would do us both good. I reach my hand up and run my fingers through his hair, him instantly melting into my touch. 

“Come on, let’s go get something to eat,” I said softly. He let out another groan before pushing himself up and off the bed. He stood up and looked at me with a tired look, before switching to a smile. I sat up and smiled back at him, but my eyes immediately traveled down his body as I remembered that he was fully naked, every piece of artwork on full display. 

“Like what you see?” he tiredly slurred out, causing me to laugh.

“I mean, we were up until probably four A.M. because I enjoyed it, so yes.” I teased, making him laugh. He started walking to the bathroom, not even caring that he had nothing on him. I stood up as he stepped through the door.

“I’m gonna run to my room to shower, okay? I’ll meet you downstairs.” I said from behind him. He looked at me with a pout.

“We could shower together?” which made me laugh.

“If we did that, we’d never make it to breakfast. I’ll see you in 20 minutes.” and with that, I grabbed my things, or at least the things I could find, and headed back to my room. 

Once I walked into my thankfully empty room, I immediately walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I was sticky with sweat and body fluids and needed to feel clean again. As the water warmed up, I took off my shirt...or I guess his shirt, and assessed the damage. Thankfully, if I just wore a t-shirt the next few days, I could cover the rest with some makeup. But then I saw that he had left one right on my tattoo, making me groan. Unless I wanted to cover my tattoo, which would be equally as obvious, there was nothing I could do about that one. 

After my shower, I just grabbed Noah’s shirt again and threw it back on. It was clean, I had only been wearing it for barely an hour, and it was just to breakfast, so who cares? I quickly did some light make-up, threw on a pair of sweatpants since it was really starting to get cold, and made sure my hair looked semi-okay before heading downstairs. 

After reaching the lobby, I see my bandmates and head towards them. Cal saw me first and instantly held his hand up to give me a high-five, making me chuckle as I gave him one. The sound of it made Damien and Finn turn around, and suddenly, I didn’t want to be around them anymore. 

“Well, well, well, look who finally showed her face,” Finn said, propping his hands on his hips, “Someone didn’t come back to the room last night.”

“You were literally the one who told me to go ‘talk’ to him,” I teasingly retorted, making him pause, like he had been caught, before laughing. I just shook my head as he came over and wrapped an arm around me, leaving a kiss on the top of my wet head. 

“So…how was it..?” He looked down at me, wiggling his eyebrows, but then his eyes trailed down to my neck, and he let out a loud cackle before pulling me closer and turning to Damien. “God, they grow up so fast.” 

I smack his chest and unhook myself from his grasp, “Where are the other guys? I don’t like you three anymore,” which made them all give me a fake offended look. 

“I didn’t even say anything!” Damien whined out. I gave him a fake pout and patted his shoulder.

“You’re always gonna be guilty by default, my love.” And with that, I began walking out the doors of the hotel. I look around for a second before seeing the rest of the gang waiting by their bus. Jolly sees me first and waves at me, almost like I hadn’t already seen him today, but I’m also completely fine with us pretending that it never happened. I head over to them and greet them all a good morning. I give Noah a small smile before turning my attention to the rest. 

“So our buddy- well, manager- Matt is actually on his way. He wasn’t supposed to join us until our show in Dallas, but I guess he wanted to surprise us by driving up.” Jolly informed me. 

“So we’re gonna make him take us to breakfast,” Folio added with a cheeky smile. I chuckled and nodded, before thinking.

“Uhh, so is it just you guys heading to breakfast? I mean, if so, that’s cool, but I just don’t know if we’d fit the whole group in a single car.” 

“Nah, he has a van, we can pack everyone in there if we try hard enough,” Ruffilo answered. I raised an eyebrow but just went with it, assuming it was a good-sized van. 

My boys came out a few minutes later, and Finn walked up behind me and tiredly wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder before asking us about the plans for breakfast, to which I just repeated everything to them. I look back at everyone and see Noah watching us in the corner of my eye, but I just ignored it. 

Soon, we see a van pull up to the hotel's parking lot, which caused the other group to cheer as they saw it. They ran towards it before it even stopped moving, making me laugh as I saw Nick have to jump out of the way at one point not to get run over. Ruffilo popped his head through the driver-side window, speaking to Matt for a moment, before turning to the boys and me with a smile, waving his hand to beckon us to get in the van. The four of them made their way in immediately, Ruffilo sitting passenger and the other three packing into the middle row. Since I was surrounded by giant men, my boys used their long ass legs and took off, getting in and taking up all the seats in the back row before I even got there. I greet Matt before groaning as I walked to the open doors and saw that I had to choose someone’s lap to sit on. Noah and I make eye contact, and bite my lip at the thought of being so close to him again. 

“Oh, come on, stop being so weird. You act like we didn’t hear you both all night,” Ruffilo teasingly groaned, making me blush. I went to open my mouth to retort but just lowered my head and crawled into the back, sitting on Finn’s lap since I knew nothing weird would happen. They close the doors, and I get situated, sitting on his thigh and leaning against the wall of the van. I see Matt look into the rearview mirror at me with a raised brow, and that just made me lower my head once again, not wanting to make this car ride awkward. 

We drove for a while because, of course, Nick gave Matt the wrong directions, but we finally ended up at a cute local diner. We all hopped out of the van like it was a goddamn clown car before filing into the restaurant and finding a place to sit. Matt, Ruffilo, Nick, and Damien sat at one table, so Cal, Finn, Jolly, Noah, and I packed into the one behind them, Noah sliding into the seat beside me. I gave him a soft smile before looking over the menu. 

After chatting with everyone about what looked best and what we would get, I felt a knee bump into mine. I look over and see Noah giving me a small smile before leaning into my ear.

“You alright?” He asked. I sighed out a laugh.

“Yeah. I just should’ve realized how awkward this was gonna be,” I replied. He chuckled and bumped his shoulder with mine, about to speak again, before the waitress walked over and took all of our orders. I felt so bad. I thought it was bad enough going out to eat with three boys, but eight was absolutely insane, and I saw the waitress have to use multiple pages to write everyone’s order down and go over it twice to make sure she didn’t get anything wrong. Welp, food probably won’t be out for a while. 

Finn turned to me and started chatting about possible ideas for us to do today. He mentioned maybe checking out a specific art museum nearby, just the two of us, because it was something we both liked and then ran off a few more ideas that either involved just our band or the whole group. I told him that we could ask everyone else later what their plans were before he turned to the rest of the table to talk. I felt Noah lean down to my ear once again.

“So, I’m not sure how exactly to approach this..,” he trailed off in a hushed tone, making me turn to him, waiting for him to continue, “But have you and Finn ever..?”

I stared at him in shock for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter. I instantly covered my mouth when people started looking and waved them off. I gave Noah a few apologies before my giggles finally died down.

“Noah, he’s gay,” I responded with a smile, making him drop his head in embarrassment as he chuckled to himself. 

“Also, I could never even think of any of the boys that way. Yes, we’re probably a little too close, but I can tell you for a fact that they’d rather give me a swirly than ever look at me like that,” I continued with a small giggle. He looked up at me with flushed cheeks and laughed. 

“Good. Good. I mean, I didn’t think so, but I was a little confused with the dynamic of it all.”

“These boys are my brothers, just like yours are to you. I mean, yes, it’s a little different since I’m the only girl in the group, but we’re strictly family here.” I smile as I look at the boys. Finn and Cal were bitching at each other about who knows what, always fighting like a married couple, and Damien was making his whole table laugh at one of his infamous stories he loved to tell. While I did have actual family and other friends at home, those boys were my found family. Being there for me when no one else was. Always understanding me even when I didn’t understand myself. 

“Don’t worry, I get it. I don’t know what I’d do without those guys,” Noah said, pulling me out of my thoughts and looking at everyone in front of us with a smile. “They got me through a lot of shit over the years. They always knew how to put a smile on my face no matter what I was going through.” 

Our food came surprisingly fast after that. Even though I had to stop and yell at some of them like I was their goddamn mother multiple times, it was a nice breakfast. If anyone did recognize us, they let us enjoy our peace. Or they just enjoyed watching the show, as I literally threatened to get out of my seat and watch the other table many times because Nick and Damien being together, while being instigated by Ruffilo and Matt, was like having to control toddlers. 

At one point, I look over and see Nick ready to launch a piece of pancake at Damien, who was sitting back with his mouth open, ready to catch it. I see Matt and Ruffilo with their phones out and childish smiles on their face like they were watching their favorite sport, and almost in slow motion, the pancake flies off Nick’s fork, past Damien’s head, and smacks Cal right in the face. This made both tables erupt in laughter, bringing even more attention to us. I didn’t know if I wanted to force them back to the van or just leave and pretend I never knew them. It was funny, trust me, but the last thing we needed was to get kicked out. 

Finally, we all were ready to leave, but not before Cal and Noah fought over the bill because, of course, we didn’t ask for separate checks. Noah finally won, saying it was going on the business card. While they did this, Matt, Ruffilo, and I snuck out to the van to claim our seats. The three of us chatted for the few minutes of peace we had, and I got to know that Matt was actually a really cool guy, us having a lot in common when it came to our home lives and being raised in the south. After finally noticing that we were gone, the other boys rushed out and fought each other over seats, none of them wanting to be the one to sit on someone’s lap. I got multiple whines and complaints, saying that I was the smallest, so I should give up my seat, but I just shook my head and buckled myself into my seat in the middle row. Noah, of course, managed to slip in next to me, but that resulted in him being pushed into me more as Nick tried convincing us that we could fit four people in our row. Finally, with a huff, he ended up sitting in the back on Damien’s lap. He even suggested squeezing into the trunk, but Matt immediately shut that down, knowing he was probably going to fuck around and mess with anyone driving behind us. From the way he said it, I'm assuming that he was speaking from experience. We eventually hit the road and drove back to the hotel, all of us spewing ideas of what we could do for our free day. 

We quickly arrived back at the hotel when it wasn’t Nick giving directions, and I was now getting ready. We couldn’t decide on what we all wanted to do, so we settled on just taking a walk around the trails nearby, it being secluded enough that we wouldn’t have to worry about fans, and so we had longer to decide if we wanted to go somewhere fun tonight. 

Even though we were in Georgia, it was still autumn, so I picked more of a warmer outfit, grabbing a turtle neck, tossing a random graphic tee I stole from Cal over it, and comfortable shorts with sheer tights. Listen, I didn’t spend all this money on these tattoos for them to all be covered, plus I knew that I would end up getting warm on the walk anyway. 

After doing my hair and makeup, I headed back down to the lobby to wait for the rest of the boys. Folio had run out and got a rental car for the day, pretending he just wanted it to be easier for us, but I knew he was scared he would be forced to sit on someone’s lap again. 

Eventually, all the boys came down, so we packed into both cars and headed off to a trail Matt had found. I drove with Matt again, wanting to get to know him more since it was always nice meeting someone so easy to talk to. Funny enough, Jolly, Ruffilo, and Noah packed into this one, and all my boys joined Nick, almost like we just switched groups. I was really happy that all of us were getting along so well and so fast, most of us meeting just a few days ago. We finally made it to the trail, of course, having to wait a good ten minutes for the other boys to arrive even though we left at the same time. I knew Damien was probably helping Nick with directions, and I’m honestly just glad they made it here in one piece.

Once everyone was together, we started off on our walk. I thankfully didn’t need to watch over the group too much. Yes, they were reckless and dumb at times, but someone was always there to pick someone else up if they goofed off too much and fell. Matt was a really nice addition to the group. He was like the other babysitter, but also always had something to talk about, and he got everyone more out of their shell, both being a nice touch of normalcy to the other band and just riling up my boys enough to get them to have fun.  

We walked for a while and just had fun. Jolly and Finn found sticks and started a sword fight, but that eventually ended up with them trying to smack everyone else in the group, making all of us find our own sticks for defense. I couldn’t help but smile the whole time. I already had a lot of fun over the years, spending my time with three large idiots, but now that I had eight, laughter never settled. We all got to talk about random shit, someone always asking the group a random question, so the conversations never died. I even got to have some nice chats with the other boys, already feeling closer to them. I could feel my family growing the longer the day went on. 

Eventually, we realized we should probably head back so we didn’t get stuck out here in the dark. It wasn’t as insane as the walk up, but we spent this time actually enjoying the scenery.  We finally talked about what we were going to do later, trying to think of bars or somewhere fun to keep the night young. A few boys were on their phones, trying to look for something near us that looked like a good time, throwing random ideas out until we could all agree on something. 

“Yo! Is this you?” I heard, snapping me out of my gaze at our environment. I see Matt turning around and facing his phone to me. I squint and see that someone had recorded a video of me last night, making me blush. I nodded sheepishly in response. 

“No, dude, Will Ramos reposted this on his story!” He said back. I paused for a moment. I know we were getting bigger, especially now that we finally had a larger band to tour with, but getting recognized was still very new to me. Especially by one of my favorite vocalists. I scrambled to get my phone out of my pocket and opened Instagram, typing in Will’s user and watching his story. I finally landed on the video and saw that he wrote, “This is sick! Who is this girl?” I looked at the boys around me, shocked, all of us now paused on our walk. I look back down at my phone, about to click on the story again to reply, before seeing that I already had a DM. I clicked it and saw that it was indeed him. 

Will- Hey! I saw a video of you covering our song and I just had to let you know how insane that was. I even checked out your band’s music and I love it! You have to add more vocals like this! 

I look back up at the boys in complete shock. 

“He DMed me… Will Ramos DMed me, telling me he liked it,” I managed to get out. Finn rushed over to look at my phone and gasped when he read the chat. He turned to Cal and Damien.

“Well, per the orders of Mr. Ramos, we gotta get Y/N into the studio and get her recording some of these vocals.” This caused the two boys to run to me, cheering and giving me a group hug. I couldn’t knock the stunned look off my face as I stared at everyone, who was giving me a proud look back. Finn pats me on the shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get back to the car, and you can freak out there,” He said. All I could do was nod in response as we continued our journey back. I got a few pats on the back from the other boys and a ‘Congratulations’ from Noah as we made our way back. I couldn’t even think right now. So much has happened in the past few days, I wouldn’t be surprised if I passed out again. 

We made it back to the cars. They all chatted about where we were heading next and decided to stop at the hotel one last time to change since we were probably going to head to a bar. I ended up riding back with my boys and Nick, just so we could talk about everything and what I should even do now. Nick gave us a lot of amazing advice on where to go from here, helping my stress a little, but I was still freaking out. 

When we made it back to the hotel, I snuck back onto the bus to look through my nicer clothes, and maybe stealing a few shots of the alcohol in there. I just needed something to take the edge off if I wanted to continue having fun tonight. Plus, it was just pregaming, you know? 

I found a cute dress that would fit for going out tonight and a cute pair of platform heels. It was a velvet mini dress that hugged me in all the right places and showed off all my favorite tattoos. The only problem would be how much concealer I was going to have to use since the neckline showed everything off. 

I headed back up to the hotel room and finished getting ready. I just added a little more makeup to my face and spent a good twenty minutes covering my neck. Once I was done curling my hair, I took one last look at myself, the liquid confidence pumping through my veins, making me feel good. All I grabbed was my phone, knowing that with how hot I looked right now, I wasn’t buying my own drinks tonight, before heading to meet up with everyone else. 

The second I stepped into the lobby, a wave of whistles and ‘damns’ went around, making me laugh and look down to hide my blush. 

“Y’all ready to go?” I ask them.

“Girl, what the fuck? You make me wanna change. I feel like a bum next to you,” Finn teases, making me shake my head, laughing. 

“You all look as hot as you usually do, now let’s get our asses in gear!” I say, slurring slightly. I may or may not have taken the Fireball up to the hotel room and drank more while getting ready. Cal gives me a comical look after I spoke.

“Are you already drunk?” he laughs out. I give him a bright smile.

“You were the one who taught me to pregame. I just wanted to get the party started already,” I leaned my head against his shoulder as I spoke, “And I’m still freaking the fuck out about earlier.”

“Y/N, you’ll be fine. Forget about everything and just have some fun tonight.” Cal rubs my arm as he spoke.

“Exactly what I’m trying to do.” And with that, I started walking to the hotel doors, not waiting for anyone else. I wanted to speak to Matt more tonight, so I walked to his van and waited for him to reach it to unlock it. We all piled into the two cars and made our way to the bar. It was more of a club type bar than a dive bar, and I was excited to dance to music and let off some steam. Noah sat next to me and glanced at me occasionally the whole ride there, making me giggle. 

“Do you have something you’d like to say?” I finally asked, which made him smirk.

“Just that you look absolutely breathtaking right now.” Then he leaned down until his lips were right by my ear. “And all I wanna do is rip that dress off you.” I laughed and smacked his chest. He smirked at me before turning back and looking out the window. 

We finally pulled up to the bar and made our way in. It was slightly packed and kind of in the middle of the city, so we were definitely going to run into some fans, but it was small enough that we didn’t have to worry about getting bombarded. A few of us headed straight to the bar while the others went to find a table. 

I stood there for about a minute, not ordering anything. I didn’t actually need a drink, as I was still tipsy, but I wanted to work my magic. I just moved my head to the music for a bit as I waited, until I felt a hand touch my back. 

“Let me buy you a drink,” I heard an almost fake deep voice from behind me say. I turned and saw that it was Matt, making me laugh. He gave me a cheeky smile. 

“Seriously, let me get you something. Help you start off the night of free drinks,” he said, leaning against the bar next to me. I put on a thinking face.

“Hmm. Fine. I think I want a Manhattan.” He nodded and turned to flag the bartender.

“Manhattan, please.” The bartender nodded and started making them for us. He turned back to me and smiled. I gave him a confused look.

“You’re not getting anything?” I asked.

“I don’t drink, but I know you wanted to take the edge off a little more, so I came to the rescue,” he answered with a shrug. I just giggled in response.

“You look amazing by the way. I’ve seen pictures and videos of your outfits on stage so I knew you could dress well, but this just proves it,” He said, his eyes trailing up and down my figure before pausing at the bat on my chest, “And I think that might be my favorite tattoo of yours.”

“Yeah? Have you seen this one?” And I turned, lifting my hair to show him the Baphomet piece on my upper back. I heard a low whistle and laughed before turning back around. The bartender set my drink in front of us and I took it with a small ‘thank you’ before facing Matt again. 

“Okay, now I can’t choose.” He said. I just shook my head.

“You are such a flirt, did you know that?” I giggled out. He matched my smile and just shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey, I just like making people feel good,” He teased with a wink. I smacked his shoulder, laughing. Then his eyes trailed past me, seeing something behind me. 

“Alright, I better stop before the big one rips my head off.” He laughs out. I turn around and see Noah practically glaring daggers at him. I rolled my eyes and patted Matt’s shoulder, thanking him for the drink, before walking over to Noah. I sat down beside him and just looked at him with a smirk. 

“What?” He asked.

“You are one scary motherfucker.” I joked, making him drop his head and chuckle. “You know Matt’s harmless.”

“I know…It’s just…” He trails off with a sigh as his eyes travel across my face and down my body. They land back on my neck and he reaches a hand to touch something on it. He grazed his thumb against one of the hickies peeking through the makeup before continuing. “I’m just a little… protective.” I roll my eyes and chuckle.

“Oh, so since you marked me, I’m all yours?” I joked. He smirked at me.

“I mean, if you wanted to be.” I side-eyed him and laughed.

“Noah, we just met a few days ago,” I said before taking a sip of my drink. I turn back to him and see him looking at me, a little confused. 

“What?” I asked.

“I mean, yeah, but we’ve both technically known each other for a while now.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that we only first spoke to each other like three days ago.” I tried explaining. He stayed silent for a moment. 

“I just thought that’s why you came to talk last night..” He finally said.

“I came to talk to you about all the weird shit that has been happening, mainly to clear the air of any confusion. And then we both…let out a lot of pent-up emotions afterward. It’s not that I don’t like you, Noah. Trust me, I do. But I don’t jump into relationships.” He rolls his eyes as I speak.

“But you’ll jump into bed with someone?” He spit out. I looked at him shocked. Is he calling me a whore? 

“You initiated it, asshole.” 

“So you still went along with it, knowing that you weren’t looking for anything more?” He said, making me scoff.

“I never fucking said that. I just said that I need time.”  I spit back.

“How long were you gonna drag me along then? You know how much I like you, and how happy I was to know you felt the same, yet you were just gonna make me wait?” 

“That’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t immediately jump into relationships!” I’m really starting to get pissed off. He’s putting words in my fucking mouth.

“But aren’t I different? We literally talked about this being some crazy ‘universe pulling us together’ shit. And you can’t see me any different than the other guys you’ve dated?” I looked at him like he was insane. 

“No, Noah. Because I’m realizing you’re no different from them.” I scoffed before grabbing my drink and walking away. 

As I stormed past some of the guys, I felt someone grab my arm. I look and see that it was Finn with a concerned look on his face. I just shook my head and pulled my arm from his grasp, continuing to try and get away from everyone. 

Once I was far enough out of sight, I just leaned up against a random wall and let out a large sigh. Of fucking course. I don’t know why I even tried talking to him last night. I should’ve just fucking dealt with my feelings by myself. Because, of course, he’s gonna act like every other fucking man that I’ve talked to. I know that the alcohol was making me loose-lipped, but if I didn’t have liquid courage, who knows how I would’ve responded. The last thing I need right now is to jump into something with someone in the band I’m touring with, especially after only just meeting him. Especially since I’m still working over these insane feelings and how much my life has changed. We both need to think about this more. Have conversations about what we want in a relationship. And I’m not a woman to be claimed. I want a fucking partner. Fuck, my thoughts are running rampent.

I open my phone, hoping to find something to distract myself with. After scrolling for a while, I remembered the DM. Obviously, the alcohol is letting me speak my truth today, so fuck it, let’s get this over with. 

Y/N- I’m honestly shocked you saw that. That was my first time doing anything like that in front of people, so it may take some time to build the courage to do more. But I can’t lie, you’re really convincing me :)

I went to exit out of the chat after sending it, but then I saw that he read it almost instantly, so I waited for a response. 

Will- Your first time!? You must’ve been practicing like crazy then. 

Y/N- Well, I’ve always loved vocals like that, especially yours, so listening to your songs enough meant singing along the best I could😂

Will- Then I’m honored to be considered something of a teacher for you;)

Y/N- Probably the best teacher I could’ve asked for :)

Will- Maybe one day we can meet up and I can give you some personal coaching! If that was all self taught, I’m excited to see what lessons could do for your vocals. 

Y/N- Really? I’d love that! And I really do appreciate all the praise! You’re truly convincing me that I could do this❤️

Will- We can discuss a day soon:) And of course! I can’t wait to see what you do in the future.

I’m definitely feeling better now, speaking to someone who wasn’t an asshole. And talking to him is surprisingly easy. I’m not sure why I was so nervous, well, other than him being someone I‘ve looked up for years. And honestly, he’s making me realize I should just be focusing on this. My vocals are my job. My band should be my life. Me and the boys, getting better every day. I’m living out my childhood dreams but all I’ve been thinking about was some stupid boy. 

I was about to text Will back, when I saw Matt walking up out of the corner of my eye, bringing back the anger I had before. I turn to face him, giving him a slightly annoyed look. 

“Y/N, what’s going on? You disappeared and now Noah’s being an asshole to everyone. What happened?” He asked me. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

“I tried talking to him and he just kept putting words in my mouth, making me seem like I was some slut, so I walked away.” I scoffed. He gave me a confused look. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I swear I don’t just sleep around, Matt. Yes, I’m surrounded by men all the time, but that’s just how this industry is and who I end up being friends with. He’s literally the first fucking person I’ve slept with in years, yet because I don’t immediately want to start dating, I apparently just fucked him to drag him along.” I answered. I couldn’t quite understand the look on his face after I spoke. It was like he was contemplating something. 

“Matt, you don’t have to be a problem solver here. I just need a break from him. Honestly, I just need a break in general. I came here tonight to have fun, and I’m over here, hiding on my phone.” I say to him with a sigh. He nods, yet still deep in thought, but after a few moments, he spoke. 

“Here, let me take you to the dance floor. And then, if you’re still upset, I’ll drive you back to the hotel so you can be alone. Does that work for you?” He suggested, holding out a hand. I couldn’t help but chuckled at the fact that he still decided to try and come up with a solution, but I guess that’s just how he is. I reached my hand out to his, accepting his offer. 

We make it to the dance floor and I try to have the best time that I can, Matt really helping me do that. I finished my drink and felt it ease my stress a little more as I enjoyed the music. For the more upbeat songs or just ones Matt and I both liked, we sang along with smiles on our faces, making me understand why he became a tour manager and not a singer. For the slower songs, I danced with him. He was a surprisingly good dancer, but I also wasn’t that shocked. Flirtatious men always know how to move with a woman on a dance floor. It felt nice, though. He respected me and kept his hands away from places he knew he shouldn’t touch, yet still moved with me sensually enough that I could get the full experience of dancing with a nice guy. A few other men tried asking me to dance, but I turned them down, either when the first place they looked was my chest, or the first place they touched was my ass. Matt chuckled every time I turned one down. 

I also liked knowing that we could do this as friends. We both had flirty personalities, mine just coming out more as I drank, but it was never anything too serious. His hands moved over my body with experience, holding me in the right places as our bodies moved together with the music. If anyone was watching us, they’d probably think we were actually together. But in reality, we both laughed if my ass accidentally touched his crotch or if his hand slipped too far down. We were cracking jokes the whole time, giggling to each other as we danced. There was no attraction between us, just two people who had so much in common that we both understood that dancing, even this close, was just another fun thing to do. And was I thankful to have met someone who allowed me to so easily have fun. 

After many songs, he leaned down to my ear so I could hear him over the music and asked if I was ready to get off the dance floor. I nodded, so we walked back to the bar, him leading me with a hand on my back. I can’t lie, I think he was putting on a show, probably to show off that he was with a girl, but I didn’t care. Because I knew that Noah was probably jealous. I know it was childish, but he pissed me off. So if a whore is what he thinks I am, a whore is what I’ll pretend to be. 

“Another Manhattan?” Matt asked once we made it back to the bar. 

“I think I want something sweet..hmm.. I want a Sex on the beach,” I answered, giving him a wink. He rolled his eyes and laughed before ordering me one and getting himself a soda. 

“So…” I said, filling in the silence as we waited. 

“So?” He asked

“Was it just me, or are you showing me off?” I asked with a teasing smile. He pursed his lips, realizing he had been caught. 

“Hey, it’s not everyday you get an attractive girl to flaunt at your side. And it was really funny seeing those guys’ faces when you turned them down to dance with me. So can you really blame me?” He defended, holding his hands up. I giggled. 

“Don’t worry, I’m flattered. And it’s not everyday you get to make someone who insinuated that you were a whore upset, so I’ll go along with this as long as you need.” I joked. 

“I really shouldn’t be teaming up with you on that, but I won’t lie and say that hearing that didn’t piss me off. I get people say dumb shit when they’re mad, but calling someone a whore, no matter the situation, is a fucked up thing to do.” He said. I leaned my shoulder against his and smiled.

“You’re a good guy, Matt. I am sorry you’re getting in the middle of all of this, but I really appreciate everything you’ve done, even though you literally met me this morning.”

“I have to deal with the bullshit those four boys do all the time. This is nothing. It’s honestly worse when they fight and make me pick teams. And I really like you, Y/N. I’ve gotten to know a lot about you today, and hanging out with you has been really fun, so of course I’d help. You’re literally me, just with boobs.” I let out a loud laugh when he finished. He wasn’t wrong. 

Our drinks cane, so we grabbed them and sat down at a table nearby. I was surprised I hadn’t seen anyone else lately, but maybe a few people went home already. I checked the time and saw that it wasn’t even eleven yet, and we weren’t leaving for the next show until the morning, so I definitely had time to have more fun tonight. 

“So, what’s on your mind?” Matt asked, making me turn my attention to him.

“Just that the night is still young and I wanna do something fun.” He thought for a moment. 

“Finish your drink and then we can get out of here. There’s definitely fun stuff to do around the city.” He said, making me raise an eyebrow. 

“You drove multiple people here, we can’t just ditch them.” 

“Hmm, you’re right…Wait, I have an idea.” He pulled out his phone and started typing. I assumed he was texting someone, the way he paused for a response between typing. I took that time to drink my drink, ready to get out of here since I already did everything there is to do: drink, dance, and argue with someone. Finally, he looked back up at me with a smug look. 

“So a few guys already went home in the rental car, and I told the rest of them to use the card to get an uber back.” He finally said. I gave him a smirk. 

“And no one got suspicious as to why you couldn’t drive them?”

“No, they did, but I’m on a fake date, remember?” He answered with a cheeky smile, making me laugh. Who knows what he told them, but who cares. 

I pulled out my phone and texted my boys, letting them know that I was staying out with Matt and would be back later. I closed it before I got a response, not wanting to deal with the questions.

Matt and I were now walking around the city. Even though it was nearing midnight, there were still some things to do. We found an ice cream shop that stayed open late and stopped there. We both realized how funny it would be to keep the act going, so we kept taking pictures and videos of the things we did, posting them to our stories. Some to our main stories, but most to our ‘close friends’ story, so fans didn’t get weirded out. 

We took pictures of our ice cream and posted them at the same time. We both recorded videos of each other goofing around. We found a playground and hung out on the swings for a while. I managed to catch him falling off the swing in a video, instantly saving it so I could use it against him in the future.

I was having such a good time. It’s so weird how much has happened lately, especially just in the last 24 hours. But right now was probably my favorite. Matt and I were just sitting on the swings, chatting about anything and everything as we swung back and forth like children. We, of course, tried seeing how high we could go, but after a few creaks of the swing set, we remembered that we were indeed adults and too big to be doing any of that. 

I do my best to enter my hotel room without waking Finn, knowing we had to get up super early to pack up the buses. I close the door and sneak to my bed. I sit down, about to take off my shoes, when the light gets turned on. I look up and see Finn looking at me like a parent catching their child. 

“Now what in the hell was all of that?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” I don’t know why I was playing dumb, knowing I was gonna tell him everything anyway. 

“Girl, shut up. It’s three in the morning and you posted like a million things of you and Matt. What’s this evil scheme you have going on?” I couldn’t help but giggle. I know I was angry, but after spending time with Matt, I could leave the anger alone until I have to face Noah again. 

“Okay so, Noah’s an ass. And Matt and I went on a fake date to piss him off.” 

“Woah, hold up. Rewind and explain.” He said, shaking his head in confusion.

“Okay so Noah and I talked at the bar. He was getting all jealous that Matt and I were talking, so I teased him about it. Then he was talking about us dating, even insinuating that he ‘claimed’ me, so I was like ‘I don’t wanna jump into a relationship, I just met you’ and he was like ‘well you jumped into bed real quick-“ Finn gasped once I said that, and I just nodded before continuing.

“So I tried defending myself and he just kept putting words in my mouth and saying I was dragging him along, and THEN he was like ‘but aren’t I different than the other guys you’ve dated meh meh meh” I used a funny voice to mock him. Finn facepalmed as I talked. 

“So I just left his ass and then not too long later, Matt found me and we went and danced together and realized it would be funny if we pretended like we liked each other to piss him off. So then we went and hung out downtown for a while, taking a bunch of pictures and videos together, mostly for Noah to see, but also because it was a really fun time and I wanted to take some pictures.” I finally finish my slightly tipsy tangent and just watch Finn process it all. 

“And you two don’t actually like each other, right?” He finally asked.

“Nope, not at all. I practically grinded on him on the dance floor and nothing weird happened.” His eyes widened when I said that, before he laughed. 

“Damn, girl!” He exclaimed, now making me laugh, “Well, I can’t really say anything other than fuck that dude and I will always support you.” 

I giggled as I started getting ready for bed, wanting to at least get a nap in and then sleep more on the bus. 

“I love you, Finn. I’m so glad to have a friend like you, always supporting my reckless decisions.” I giggled out as I crawled into bed. 

“Always, love. Because you do the same.”

Part Five

[astrodances]

It wasn’t a ball where she’d be introduced as she entered, she’d just waltz in and find Scrooge and they’d hang out.

Well...may I present Glittering Goldie O'Gilt! ✨

I was completely inspired by @lettheladylead's own drawing for this chapter of running in circles, because her party design for Goldie, especially her hair + richer color palette, is just so dang pretty!! 😍💛 I knew I had to draw her for this - plus, the whole "cozy Christmas party gold glitter bokeh wonderment" vibe makes up for the "tragic winter wonderland" I drew her in here. 😅☺️

No-effects version under the cut!

[magnumopos]

violence tomorrow.

[goldiejake11]

source: goldiejake11

"She leaned down and placed a kiss on Scrooge's temple. He smiled in his sleep and Goldie felt a stabbing pain in her chest. She grabbed her bag and took some money out of Scrooge's wallet before she left. It didn't feel right to leave without taking something. Otherwise, he's sit there wondering what he did wrong."

From Chapter 14 of Running in Circles by the amazing @lettheladylead

This one is a three-fer. I'm combining my 'don't be chicken to draw (both figuratively and literally) challenge from some of my favourite stories' as well as knocking off two prompts from Duckvember.

DUCKVEMBER DAY 6: SLEEPING DUCK aaaaand DAY 23: NUDE DUCK

[rustyelias]

seen multiple posts about arcane and rqg ending parallels

and oh my lord I'm losing it!!! /pos

this and jayvik jmart links. I am GRGRGRRFRR

[sketchy-tour]

I AM BACK FROM VACATION! DRAWING TIME AFTER CHORES RAAAAA

[turtlecleric]

do you ever think about how strong Leo's hands are? how nimble? how thick? given their size and shape; the bone structure under those finer muscles. those fingers of his would be calloused at the base of each digit, inside the creases that cut across his palms, all from wielding those swords of his.

do you ever think about what it would be like coming home from a long workday and seeing your boyfriend, leonardo, greet you with a warm smile, an even warmer embrace, making sweet lines over your back with those firm hands of his as you melt into his plastron. the way he would press firm lines over the aching muscles down the backs of your ribs as he holds you.

he guides you by the hand towards the couch, prompting you to lie face down on your belly so as to grant himself easy access to work over the shape of your body with his hands. lithe fingers grace across the back of your t-shirt, pressing lines along your nervous system like he's mapping out each and every stem. drawing firm circles, he kneads through the tension gathered around each tightly wound muscle.

you relax. going pliant under his touch.

slowly, he encourages you to move as he strip's you of your clothes. displacing garment after garment, he undresses you as if you were a carefully wrapped present, until all that's left between his hands and your body is the heat radiating off your skin and the unspoken promise left by the weight of his hands; the grooves of his scales. you shudder at the touch of them now as they find naked skin, only relaxing once more— moments later—when you feel them making those same shapes up and down your back.

you almost drift into a sleep from how good his hands feel, and that's when he finally finally ends this little charade.

moving to his knees, he kneals on the floor beside the couch, leaning down to press a chaste kiss against the soft curve of your cheek, whispering words of adoration, "mi hermosa... mi preciosa..." then, in the same gesture, you feel those lithe and tactile fingers of his, dip down under the waistband of your panties, running along the curve of your ass, and pushing between your slickening folds. probing in and out, in and out, slow as he coils into the wetness. it's frustrating; how he can't attend to your clit from this angle, but insists on moving his finger in and out, in and out. the dissatisfaction pulls you back from sleep just as quickly as those firm hands of his had pushed you into it.

eyeing him, and just a little pouty from it, you roll to your back, granting him access to dip his hands into the fabric from the front.

"that's my good girl," he churrs, "so honest. so needy." his fingers work you over so much better from this position, dragging wet circles over your clit with the slick taken from you soaking cunt. his mouth finds yours in a heated kiss, and like an obedient little thing, the sounds from your lips spill, honest and needy, ringing true to the way he'd pronounced.

"that's it," he pants into your mouth, "let it out. let me know how good it feels. how much you want it." his fingers dip down to press into your aching cunt, pushing, curling, fucking; his fingers pumping into you, nice and firm, as his thumb draws circles against your clit, and the words of praise fall from his mouth like sunlight through a canopy, easing away the negativity thoughts that had began to cloud your every though. "fuck, you sound so good. smell amazing. my pretty girl. can't get enough of my fingers..."

his name is a shameless cry on your lips, and it isn't long before you're coming from his hand, clenching around his thick and calloused fingers as his palm presses firm against the nerves in your clit. with heavy breaths, you watch when he eventually goes to remove his hand, and see his tongue come out, hungry and red to lick the slick juices from his fingers one by one, before he smiles and tells you he wants to taste more.

[introjis]

zoomies emojis! requested by @emojifarm (this is the base version before doing so for their oc!)

[mochiwrites]

I am once again thinking about hotguy/griande

[andreafmn]

Running in Circles | Chapter 11

Word Count: 3.5K Warnings: mentions of death and illness

Summary: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss, and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

A/N: slowly but surely rolling this story out... i refuse to DNF a WIP

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David Rossi’s house had always been grand. At least for the better part of his life. But for (Y/N), it had always been massive. Even once she had grown up and moved out, she saw it as too big. She never had the feeling that she had imagined it bigger as a child. It had always been gigantic, and it would always be.

“You know, I made some fresh tagliatelle for today,” David smiled as he opened the car door for his daughter. “And I think it’s the best batch I’ve done in a long time.”

“It better be,” she teased jokingly. “Mom wouldn’t have accepted any less.”

“You’ve got that right,” he laughed. “She’d turn over in her grave if I ever made her pasta wrong.”

The Hotchner duo were already waiting by the front door when the Rossis arrived. Jack was the first to run into the house, claiming he was starving and needed to be fed. But as soon as the TV was on, it was like his hunger had vanished.

While the boy was entertained by some cartoon on the television, David ushered the other two outside. He took his cooking seriously and did not like much interruption when it was possible. So, with two glasses of red wine and a lit fireplace, (Y/N) and Hotchner sat on the back porch to talk.

“Morgan, Reid, and Prentiss are coming by later,” (Y/N) muttered out, trying to fill the silence. “JJ had a family thing, and Garcia is out of town.”

“I know,” he chuckled softly. “Dave told me when I was on my way to the cemetery.”

“God, I never want to think about today again.” Warmth crept up (Y/N)’s neck as embarrassment filled her veins. “I can’t believe I threw a tantrum like that at my age. I am absolutely mortified.”

“You don’t have to be, (Y/N). Grief isn’t always a pretty thing,” Hotchner said, taking her aback. “You’re allowed to feel what you feel, and sometimes it comes out in an ugly way. But it’s perfectly reasonable to have a break like you did. I mean, if it took this long, it was bound to happen sooner or later. And it was, in all honesty, not as bad as you think.”

“I yelled at my dad for simply being religious,” she sighed. “It was completely uncalled for. And I even did it in front of Jack. I can’t believe I did that.”

“I don’t think he’ll even remember after today,” he chuckled as he took a sip from his glass. “Seriously, (Y/N), it’s not something you even need to apologize for. I’ve seen and been worse than that.”

“I seriously doubt that,” the young woman snorted. “At least not the way I exploded today.”

“I’ve had my moments, (Y/N). We’re only human, at the end of the day,” the man shrugged as he absentmindedly slipped his hand over hers. “But you don’t have to feel bad for feeling strongly, and I know your dad definitely doesn’t hold it against you. All he cares is that you’re okay, and so do I.”

“I’m okay now,” she smiled softly, trying her best to conceal the red that was creeping up her neck. Thankfully, it was cold enough that she could blame the weather for her sudden change in complexion. “And I wanna thank you for coming today. I wasn’t sure you would.”

“Oh, Jack wouldn’t have let me live it down if we hadn’t gone,” he chuckled. His fingers interlaced with hers, squeezing softly and making her wonder. “He said we couldn’t leave you alone today. I mean, he was up long before I was.”

“God, I love that kid.”

“Yeah, he loves you too.”

There was a moment when their eyes met, and they couldn’t drop each other’s gaze. (Y/N) tried to find meaning behind the brown of his irises. Because he always left her wondering. Whether his lingering touches meant something more than comfort. Whether he showed his carefree side to her because he felt a different connection to her than the rest of the team. Whether stares like that one meant he was thinking the same way.

But the sound of David’s voice scattered the thoughts away, making the pair jump away from each other, their hands returning to their respective laps. “I brought some blankets to keep you guys warm,” he said as he placed the blankets on the arm of the couch and a tray on the edge of the fireplace. “I also brought you some cheese and crackers while we wait for the rest of the team to get here. They shouldn’t be long.”

“Thanks, dad,” (Y/N) smiled. “Did you have something to eat yet?”

“Oh no. I can’t spoil my appetite for later,” he chuckled. “I wanna make sure I savor tonight’s dish. I’ve been braising a chuck roast since this morning, and I can’t wait to sink my teeth into it.”

“Well, if there’s not much to do inside, why don’t you join us, Dave?” Hotch offered, much to (Y/N)’s dismay. “No point in you being by yourself.”

“As intriguing as that sounds, I’m not interested in spending my evening out in the cold,” the older man said before the sound of the door squeaked behind him. “But I think someone else might join you.”

“Hey, Jack. What’s up, buddy?”

00“I’m bored, dad,” the kid whined, draping himself between (Y/N) and his father. “And I’m hungry. I wanna go to (Y/N)’s house. She has toys there.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” David chuckled as he cheersed the man before disappearing back into the house.

“We can’t go to (Y/N)’s house right now, Jack. I told you we were gonna have dinner with David tonight.”

“But he doesn’t have any toys,” the boy complained. “His house is really boring.”

“Tell you what, little man,” (Y/N) interjected. “My dad may not have toys here, but he has a lot of stories about my mom, and today is about her, right?” The kid nodded eagerly. “Well then, let’s go invade his personal space.”

Jack grabbed (Y/N)’s extended hand, walking into the house with Hotch trailing behind with the platter that had just been set before them. They rushed through the kitchen and past the living room, looking for the one person who could talk about Iris’ past.

They had made it almost all the way to the man’s study before they found him in the hall, staring at a painting. Without turning his head, David started talking. “This is one of the first paintings Iris made in her garden,” he said. Before him hung a realistic painting of a small girl, a bird in her cupped hands, and an array of colorful flowers on the background. “I think it might just be my favorite.”

“Who’s the girl?”

“That’s me,” (Y/N) smiled at the boy. “When I was really, really little.”

“And your momma painted that?” Jack questioned excitedly. “It’s really pretty.”

“She did,” David responded with a sad smile. “She painted almost all the art in this house. She was a very talented woman, my Iris.”

“What happened to her?”

“Jack,” Hotch reprimanded his son. “I’m sorry, he…”

“It’s alright,” the man smiled. “She got very sick while she was pregnant with our little (Y/N). But the doctors didn’t catch it until it was too late because of that. After she gave birth, we started her on the most aggressive treatment we could, but it had spread too much, too fast. A little after (Y/N) turned three, she passed away.” “She was getting weak at the end, and a single painting would take her weeks,” he said. “You can see that they get smaller here by the end of the hall. But even if she couldn’t hold the brush for too long, she would…”

David’s voice drowned out as he continued walking with Jack, not noticing that his daughter stood frozen in her spot while he went on. There were things she knew about her mother’s past, but there were others he had kept hidden. Much like that one sentence, he had muttered absentmindedly to tell the tale of her mother’s demise.

Tears welled in (Y/N)’s eyes once more, this time sprouting from a deep well of emotion that she had trapped inside herself a long time ago. There was a part of her that always knew, that always felt as though she had been the reason her mother had died. But there had never been any confirmation, not a single word spoken to confirm what she had thought. All up until that day. Without even meaning to, her father had opened one of the deepest wounds she thought had healed.

She felt Hotch’s hands on her arms before she heard his voice, her mind hazing over as the thoughts flooded her head, making it close to impossible to focus on reality. “Hey, (Y/N),” he whispered as he cradled her face, bringing her back to the moment. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“It’s my fault,” she whimpered, her eyes meeting his through a watery gaze. “My mom’s dead because of me.”

“Of course not,” he stated. “She was sick, (Y/N). The cancer got to her, and there was nothing anyone could do. That’s all that happened.”

“They would have found it sooner if she hadn’t been pregnant with me,” she cried. “She could have treated it earlier if it wasn’t because of me!”

Hotchner wrapped his arms around her before she could crumble to the ground, watching as her emotions overtook her. With an already overwhelming day, learning more about her mother’s death had tipped her over. It was then that he could see just how young she still was. As mature and intelligent as she was, she was still starting off in life—not even thirty yet.

“What happened to your mom is not your fault,” he said, his chin resting on her head. “Having you was the choice she wanted to make, and most definitely the right one. From what I can tell, she loved you very much, (Y/N).”

“You were her greatest treasure,” David added, startling the pair apart. “She wanted nothing more than to have you, mia bella. Iris would have given up everything so you were born, and I would have as well.”

“I’ll leave you two to talk,” Hotch whispered to (Y/N), motioning to Jack to get closer. “Let’s go see what’s on TV, okay?”

Once the Hotchner boys were gone, the young woman fell into her father’s open arms, resting her head on his shoulder and allowing him to comfort her in the way she so desperately needed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whimpered quietly. “You always said she got sick after I was born, not while she was still pregnant. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t mean for you to find out this way, little bird,” he sighed, drawing comforting circles on her arm. “I never wanted you to feel guilty for your mother’s death. All I ever wanted was to protect you, sweetheart.”

“She would have probably been alive had she not been pregnant, right?” (Y/N) said. “You’d still have her if it wasn’t for me.”

“I carry a part of her with me every day of my life,” he smiled. “And neither I nor Iris would have it any other way. I couldn’t imagine my life without you, little bird. You are my entire life, just like you were hers.”

David gently led her to the other room as the doorbell rang, kissing her head softly before going to open the door.

Soon enough, the house was filled with more familiar faces sporting flower bouquets and wine bottles, saying hello because there were no other words on a day such as that. All they could offer was their presence and their love, and whatever else they could need.

And at that moment, what they needed was a warm meal and lighthearted conversation. Being with the team was enough to calm (Y/N)’s sadness. At least for the time they were there, she could pretend she was okay.

She sat between Morgan and Hotchner with a gorgeous plate of pasta and roast before her and no appetite. She had spent so much energy already crying that she had nothing left to eat.

“Everything okay, pretty girl?” Derek whispered to her as he noticed her demeanor. “You not gonna eat?”

“I’m not really hungry,” she sighed. “Can’t really stomach anything right now.”

“You wanna get some air?” 

“Maybe after. I don’t wanna interrupt everyone’s dinner.”

“If you’re sure,” he said, squeezing her hand comfortingly. “But you let me know if you need to step away at any point.”

“Thanks, Der,” she smiled. “I appreciate it.”

What neither of them noticed was the piercing stare Hotchner kept on their joined hands. He wasn’t sure where the feeling had come from, but he could feel it bubbling deep inside his gut. Without even thinking, he slipped his arm behind her chair, his fingers softly drawing circles on her shoulder.

“You doing okay?” he found himself whispering to her, his heart quickening as her eyes met his. “It’s been a hell of a day.”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” she smiled. “Just not very hungry.”

“Do you want something lighter? I can get you some crackers and cheese instead.”

“No, I’m fine, really,” she said. “I’ll probably just take this and eat it later tonight.”

“If you’re sure,” he conceded. “Just let me know, and I’ll get it.”

“Thanks, Hotch.”

“Don’t mention it.”

It didn’t go over anyone’s head that the unit chief had kept his arm behind (Y/N)’s chair while they finished dinner. But to them, it was simply a way to keep the grieving woman at bay. No one thought that he was staking a claim on her after that green emotion settled in his chest at Derek’s comfort. Not even he did.

Even after they had all finished eating and had gravitated to the backyard for the last glass of wine, Jack dead asleep on (Y/N)’s lap, Aaron remained close to her. Back on the couch they had been hours before, he kept a protective arm around her back. It didn’t mean anything, he told himself. He simply wanted to make sure she was okay.

Still, his eyes memorized the way the light of the fire danced on her skin, painting her with a warm hue that made her look heavenly. He felt it then, as he watched her take a sip from her wine glass, a smile on her face and his son asleep against her, that flutter in his chest he thought had died with Haley.

At that moment, he blamed it on the alcohol. Aaron couldn’t be feeling what he thought he was for (Y/N). Not only was she his subordinate, but she was the daughter of one of his oldest colleagues and friend—not to mention she was almost half his age. No, he had simply drunk too much, he told himself. His quickening heart rate and the flush that warmed his skin were because he couldn’t tolerate booze like he used to. Nothing more, nothing less.

Suddenly, David tapped on his glass with his ring, calling everyone’s attention and breaking Aaron out of thought. “Well, I want to take a moment to thank all of you for coming over tonight and celebrating Iris’ life with (Y/N) and me,” he said. “I know none of you got to meet her, but I can say with great certainty that she would have loved each and every one of you. Iris was an extraordinary and beautiful woman, and I am glad her legacy lives on in the form of (Y/N). “She was, in a way, the second greatest love of my life. And I say second because she gave me my first,” he said, smiling warmly at his daughter. “I am grateful for the time I had with her and I am immensely blessed to be able to have a piece of her with me for the rest of my life. But I will say, my biggest regret in life will always be not getting the chance to show her just how much I loved her in life and asking her to marry me. If I had to do anything over again, I would have married her the day I met her. I had already bought a ring by the next week, but somehow, I never got the courage to ask her. So, tonight, I wanna raise a glass to Iris Cassidy on the 25th anniversary of her passing. I loved you then and I love you still, mia fiore. Until we meet again, my darling Iris. Salut.”

Everyone raised their glasses, echoing the cheer before taking a sip of their wine. As they did, David pulled out his phone, and a minute later, colorful fireworks adorned the night sky. One after another, they illuminated the darkness in various shapes and colors, marking a true celebration of life.

It was at that moment that Aaron noticed the fresh tears falling from (Y/N)’s eyes. The lights of the fireworks reflected on the streaks of her cheeks, glimmering in an array of colors as she stared at the sky. But it was the first time in the day that her tears were accompanied by a bright smile. And when she found him staring, he couldn’t help but smile back as he hugged her closer to him. Completely ignoring the pitter-patter of his heart as he felt her warmness seep into his body.

The scene was almost like out of a movie. As the fireworks lit up the sky, gentle music played through the backyard speakers. The group talked amongst themselves quietly, engrossed in whatever conversation was important at that moment. It was almost as though the world had stopped. There was no evil lurking behind their doors waiting to be caught. There was only them and that moment in time—frozen, preserved.

But it wasn’t the team that caught the unit chief’s attention. No. It was the young woman next to him who had seemed to drift off to sleep just like his son. Jack had wrapped his arms around (Y/N), resting his head in the crook of her neck while she rested hers on his shoulder. Her eyelids fluttered as she slept, finally comfortable enough to rest—or too tired to stay awake. Still, she looked calm, at peace. And she looked beautiful.

They were thoughts that shouldn’t have been running through Aaron’s head. Not about (Y/N), at least. And definitely not while her father was only a few feet away.

“Guess the day finally caught up to her,” David whispered as he sat next to them. “When she’s like that, all I can see is the little girl that always asked me to read her to sleep. Granted, those days didn’t last long. She learned how to read on her own, and Good Night, Moon, and Oh, The Places You’ll Go didn’t cut it anymore. Treasure those moments, Aaron. They go quicker than you can imagine.”

“Thankfully, Jack has yet to grow out of his kid’s books,” he chuckled softly, highly aware that any move he made could wake (Y/N). “But one thing’s for sure, once they’re down, they’re down, huh.”  

“That’s true,” he laughed. “I want to thank you, Aaron, for being here today. She needed someone, and it wasn’t me. (Y/N) always seems so strong, but she carries her heart on her sleeve and so much hurt on the inside. She needs someone she can rely on.”

“Today was the least I could do after all she’s done for Jack and me,” Aaron smiled, looking down at the sleeping woman. “I owe her a lot.”

“What she does, she doesn’t do it for anything in return,” David said. “She got that from her mother. She’d give the clothes off her own back for anyone that needed it.”

“She really would.”

“I just wished she found someone who could see just how amazing she was. I know this job makes it hard to meet people, but she deserves someone who treats her as special as she is.”

The words made the man tense up, causing (Y/N) to wriggle in her sleep. If he hadn’t known any better, he would think David had read his mind. But coincidences, rare as they may seem, were real.

“You do too, by the way,” the man teased as Aaron thought of a good enough answer to give him. “It’s about time you start dating, too, you know.”

“Here we go again,” he chuckled softly. “I don’t need to date.” Which wasn’t entirely a lie. Especially since the one he was most interested in was not an option. “I’m just focusing on work and Jack. That’s enough.”

“For now,” the older man grinned. “But I guess you’re young enough to still take your time. Just not too much.”

“I’ll take it into consideration.”

“Good,” David said before taking a beat. “But you better leave (Y/N) at home. Looking at you two right now, anyone would think you’re a couple.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Wouldn’t want anyone to make that mistake.”

But oh, how he yearned for it to be his reality.

Next ->

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[lilgarbitch]

Running In Circles - Noah Sebastian x Reader

🖤In Progress🖤

Devine intervention. It was as if the gods above chose to bring these souls together. But will they let them? Or will they fight against fate?

Y/N is pained and confused by what happened between them, the thought of him never leaving her mind, slowly driving her insane. Noah’s life became disordered until the day he finally found out who she was, his only goal now to never stop until he could finally meet her in person and see where they go. But will spending three months together on tour really be enough time to work everything out? Or does it become too much?

Smut*

|| One || Two || Three || Four* || Five || Six* ||

|| Seven ||

[astrodances]

Scrooge blushed a bit and frowned, clearly embarrassed by his overreaction. He nodded and looked towards the path to Dawson. “Ready to leave?” She stared at his profile and tried not to be amazed by the way the sunlight glowed around him every time he stood outside. “...yeah.”

The King of the Klondike in a different light ☀️

Second of three Klondike drawings for @lettheladylead's running in circles, this moment coming from chapter 7 and from Goldie's POV. More lighting fun in the sun because I got hooked on that line! XD (Seriously, I learned a lot with this one, so thank you for the inspiration!)

Tomorrow: more glowy action. That's all I'll say. 😏

[taissasspidergirl]

dating headcanons for ryan o’halloran, our favourite csu tech at svu <33

i can just imagine him being soooo gentlemanly and old fashioned. pulls out your chair for you, opens the car door, offers you his jacket. he’s sweet and shy whenever he does it. yknow that one hozier tweet meme “my girl hate me?” that’s literally him

your first date was at a vacant office because with both of your schedules, you couldn’t find a day to be together :( he apologised so many times but you waved off his apologies and drove straight to his workplace with takeout bags.

that man is a nerd. has a card and comic collection. i don’t think he was really embarrassed but he did turned shy when you started asking him questions about it. adorable, really.

SOOO playful. sweet and courteous whenever you’re not in the confines of your home, but when you’re alone that man is sooo flirty. i feel like he’s good with his words and wouldn’t stop at just complimenting you. nah he goes beyond. he’s such a tease

on the occasion when duty’s not calling and you’re resting in your bed, he’s so cuddly. pulls you closer to his chest and whines because the only time you have the morning to yourselves you have to work :( (denied this)

he has the most adorable reactions to you. you’re in a sweater? yeah he’s on his knees. you’re putting on perfume? he just fell a bit more. doing simple things like laundry or cooking? when he’s helping his focus is at loss, focusing on your look of concentration instead

you two have a favourite secret spot. and since i mentioned him being old fashioned that’s where you had your first kiss. poor baby got a little carried away.

“um excuse me she asked for no pickles” bf

he doesn’t really talk about the exact specifics of his job but you let him know that you’re here whenever he needs it. it’s the bare minimum but he melts.

definitely thought about adopting a pet together after a while of being together.

teaches you science facts and you can’t stop yourself from kissing him because he gets so attractive whenever he starts getting into details

first said he loved you before leaving for work in a rush and realised it a whole day later, he’s so sweet

this was mostly self-indulgent because he’s so pookie bear