tacoverlord

[tacoverlord]

... One time I stood up and just woke up on the floor outside my dads bedroom looking up at him holding the door open looking down on me in bafflement. I apparently went to his room and knocked.

standing up and blacking out for a few seconds is just transitioning from a cutscene to the actual gameplay

[tacoverlord]

I take a lot of antidepressants… I've tried a lot. found one that worked, Its effects on my libido ect. ect… worked for me. They didnt effect pleasure just horny. I've gone three months without needing to masturbate. Its nice. Makes me wish I was just asexual. I like just ideating and thinking and reading. Id rather be happy and not plagued by human conditions than otherwise.

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

[tacoverlord]

Entry level jobs haven't existed since the 2008 crash. 90% of hiring managers won't hire recent graduates. A quarter of job listings are ghost jobs. Companies hire part time so that they don't have to give benefits. Federal minimum wage hasn't increased since 2009. The True Unemployment Rate is 25%. Master's are the new bachelor's. For most the job search takes over a year. 75% of resumes are never. actually seen by the hiring team.

[tacoverlord]

is this an allegory for being trans

Give me more robot girls with tangible, physical struggles.

Robot girls that can't move around very well because the job they were designed to do requires them to stay in one spot 99% of the time.

Robot girls that struggle to do their own basic maintenance because their programning isnt optimized for anything other than their job or being a companion.

Robot girls that struggle with a degraded internal power supply because their job requires them to be hooked up to direct external power most of the time.

Combat robot girls that are basically helpless off the battlefield outside of self-maintenance.

Robot girls with grinding joints from years of tiny particulate that cant get removed outside of intensive maintenance building up.

Robot girls that are trying their best, but simply can't sometimes.

Robot girls that need help, and that being okay.

[tacoverlord]

Does... this mean I'm in the same shit if I find it funny?.. Maybe.

We need to have places like bars where instead of only 18+ year olds allowed in it’s ONLY people who had fucked up childhoods so we can joke about it without running into a surprise normal who gets all sad and weird

[tacoverlord]

Felt weirdly relevant to share tonight that I... cut myself... inconsistently. Rarely! Irregularly I feel the need to... feel something. I'm not sure if it's because I've never broken a bone... or never felt true romantic love. The true cause is beyond my comprehension at this point... I have this scar on my left arm... that I cut... the same spot. Partially to avoid the stigma of being someone who cuts themselves but grossly more so just to avoid the excessive scarring. I've done this a total of maybe six times... I think I have to stop. People asking about it has begun to feel too... unavoidable, even though I know I can probably keep getting away with the same excuses of, "Ah 'My friends/my pet cat', was doing a wood working project,' 'Was helping a family member in the yard'." It's begun to feel... excessive... almost like I would feel more comfortable about sharing why I have a healing wound by just saying, "I carved into my own flesh in the hopes to feel less dead!" I know that would immediately have me institutionalized... so... obviously not the course of action for someone not actually at risk to themselves.

Just thought I'd share... not even sure how much I believe in tumblr anyway

[tacoverlord]

I actually filled this out and then I couldn't pass the not a robot challenge for some reason... It let me check it but turned red and refused my submission.

[tacoverlord]

Brennan Lee Mulligan arguing for the primal nature of morality on Ep. 40’s Fireside Chat is one of the funniest and realest things I’ve ever heard. He once again put into words what I have been trying to say for what feels like forever.

EDIT: No, I actually need to quote this out for myself.

“One of the things that happens a lot in philisophy that is, I think, a point of failure, potentially, in it, is that philosophy contains a lot of formal logic studies, and there’s a degree to want to sort of explicate, logically, everything, and go like, ‘What are the reasons and rationalities behind all of this?” But I think ignoring the primal origins of morality- You don’t need- If you watch someone kick a small animal, you don’t need an explanation for why that’s bad. It’s a first- It’s a primary thing, right? And you get into weird positions when you’re like, ‘I believe that humans should have good- be flourish and be happy, and have safety and joy!’ And someone can literally just go ‘Why? To what end? To what end should they have joy?’ And you’re like ‘Not to what end. I’m saying this is the end for me. The end for me is joy and safety and peace.’ And I get to say that because I’m a weird brain monster living in the universe and I can create meaning with my mind. You’re doing the same thing right now, but I just choose joy. Are you choosing something else? Because if you are, then we’re in conflict!” -Brennan Lee Mulligan, “Fireside Chat for WWW ep40 ���Aid and Comfort’”

Choose joy, motherfucker! If you’re not, we’re in conflict!!!

[tacoverlord]

[tacoverlord]

[tacoverlord]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[tacoverlord]

is this one of those posts you later learn is a painting...

life tip: sometimes there's a bird outside & you can look at it

[tacoverlord]

[tacoverlord]

—Amsterdam (2022)

Directed by David O. Russell

[tacoverlord]

Annual reblog of the liminal spacemas from instachaz

[tacoverlord]

[tacoverlord]

Fuck this kind of worry is a huge factor of my reluctance to find a therapist. I had semi regular appointments with my psych for awhile where we did therapy, and I just remember this one session where I was talking about my woes in relation to my earnings and spending's and life opportunities and he interrupts me to tell me about how easy it is for him and his friends to make money in a way that makes it glaringly obvious I needed to stop seeing him for any kind of advise in any fashion. An actual therapist that I had so few sessions with ended up actually pulling out a book during our session and looking up something I was explaining about my mindset. This doesn't sound so bad, but I remember it being just devastating to me considering it seemed like such a simple thing for someone specializing in counseling to know. Another turned out to be my elementary school counselor from like 10 years earlier which for some reason had devastating effects on my ability to share with them about a multitude of my issues.