syschotic

[syschotic]

there's a sense of comfort in sadness, having your life defined by the blue that you feel makes you just want to hold those close who feel blue too.

it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel blue, but let's hold each other tight and feel blue together.

[syschotic]

system culture is making a sideblog for our subsystem and thinking.. hmm thought there was one more... then shrugging it off and making all the introductions

and it turns out there was one more but they were newish and werent on the list we looked at. oops im sorry lunnie you can make your intro tomorrow :(

[syschotic]

public psych wards aren't perfect, not by any means, but there's a sense of unity i really miss from those places.

we were open about having did from the moment we stepped in, most people there didn't even know what did was and yet they were so accommodating and accepting.

everyone there had their own issues, and they were free from judgement of others. we had a lot of friends in there, of all different ages with different stories.

when you're at rock bottom and there's others also at rock bottom there's this sweet sense of unitedness and it's something I haven't stopped missing since.

[syschotic]

The (Perform)ance of a (Life)Time

oh would you look at that large crowd

their pure anticipation for little old me

ive done this act since ive opened my eyes

this routine is my mother, this performance is where i came from

i do the same steps since 7 years old and face my adoring audience

this hurts IT HURTS i don't want to this

i kick and scream this wasn't part of the plan

the people gasp in awe and then they applaud

I strip my costume THIS ISNT A FUCKING ACT

whispers murmurs through the crowd

"wow isn't she incredible? she's so entertaining"

im crying now im screaming im clawing at my arms until I draw blood

the applauding only gets louder my ears will bleed from the noise

I can't no fucking more stop it

Crawling into a ball my tears stain my cheeks red

"I want to see what's she going to next?"

this is about how mental health issues are like a "show" to some neurotypical people and crying out for help is only more entertainment from them. with those kind of people you can't ever break free from the shackles.

[syschotic]

our home away from home. we are are a small psychotic did subsystem of five. we are bodily 21 and a little mentally insane :)

"the safest place for them has always been the psych ward" - our host

Click to find out a little more about us.

Hina . Zer0 . Gemini Twins . Clara . White

this blog is a safe space for all those who have experienced psychosis, delusions, and anyone who is considered "crazy" it's time to accept who you are and be the truest version of yourself - flaws and all.

the queen of psychosis Alice also sometimes posts here - though she is not part of our subsystem. Stay crazy !!

HEY! DNI IF THE FOLLOWING: Pro-Fakeclaiming, Radqueer, Endogenic + Supporters, Transphobic, Homophobic, Racist, Believe in Narc Abuse

[syschotic]

My name is Alice. She/bun please.

I'm not in the same subsystem as the others, though I tend to visit often they understand me a lot and I like that.

Let's cut right to the chase, I've experienced psychosis and it was horrifying and brilliant and sickening all messed up into a disorientating blur. I reaaallly really like Alice in Wonderland and I'm quite like her.

It's funny because during psychosis I was really so scared and now that I'm out of it it's all I can think about, mind altering substances, experiences that make me doubt my own existence I want it all. I love making rhymes and wordplay and speaking in a language that doesn't exist. I love circus and clowns, bright lights and what's past the ordinary. I love being crazy and I love being free.

oh alice, how did you ever escape wonderland my reality spirals and time is in reverse what's happened to my mind, have I lost it once more?shall tomorrow again be yesterday's today?

for now i float down the salty sea of my tears ceasily only to dine with the mad hatter at 6 long forgotten, is the realm of my sanity for that's how it goes once you reach wonderland

the language in my mind is one I can't transcribe my hand to my mouth, awaiting the spiralling to cease. what disquietude will come from my unsound mind

my timepiece displays a twinkling hour I'm searching for a white rabbit, have you seen him?accompy hastily, for the hysteria is upon us

mea anima voluntas vos lacrima seorsum

I love writing poetry too! There's no rules in poetry and I can be as nonsensical as I like, above is one I wrote in active psychosis.

I'll come here whenever I want to share my thoughts, my poetry or just be a little silly. My sign off will be #🎪

[syschotic]

Hiiii 🤍 I'm White!!! I go by She/Her

I'm a fictional introject of White Diamond from Steven Universe. I formed due to our OCPD tendencies and that we needed another holder for the perfectionism that was ripping us apart.

I'm completely perfect and always right, and if you ever disagree I'll find a way to change your mind. I have a serious need for total control and sometimes wish I could make everyone on earth dance with my puppeteer strings. Sadly I cannot do that and instead I need to accept that humans are ultimately flawed beings, though I am not flawed.

I can be quite selfish and I cannot lie my dream of a world of mini-me's may be a little alarming. But alas it is just a dream. I do love Steven Universe a lot and Hina is starting to become a dear friend of mine. Other than that I don't have any interests as of yet and interests that others hold in the system seem strange and otherworldly to me. However I am keen to learn.

Well ~ Toodles!! My sign off on this blog will be #perfect-white

[syschotic]

Hi ♡ My name is Clara I use she/her pronouns.

Nothing that makes me the happiest quite like cleaning and scrubbing until I can see my own reflection. I want everything to be sparkling and I will spend hours and hours on end working on it until I'm satisfied :) If I'm sad I will clean, if I'm stressed I will clean, if I'm happy then obviously I'm cleaning.

I suppose other than cleaning I like fairytales, like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast - but I prefer the original versions not the watered down Disney versions.

It's nice to meet you all, I hope you can like me aside from my clean freak nature :)

[syschotic]

Hello. Hi! We are the Gemini Twins. It's nice to meet you! 👽 They/Them. We are two!

Here's a little about us. So you can get to know us! We are two separate alters. But we are twins and we loveeee being with each other like all the time! Sometimes. So we always front together! Whether we like it or not.

My name is Zooey and I'm the older twin. I'm Novi and I'm the younger twin! Typically I'm more stoic and responsible. Awwwww I just like being silly and playing games!

We are alien twins. We accept our weirdness as a COOL thing being aliens!!! We tend to like alien related things. Like ummm Novi Stars, alien plushies, just aliens aliens aliens!!!! Probably best not to use jokes with us. We won't understand it and it'll be awkward hahahah!!!

Though we are technically two, we like to be one entity. We do everything together!! We will probably post about aliens. Or maybe we will get reaaaal emotional about how much we mean to each other???? No. Not Happening. AWWWW! We will use the alien emoji for our signoff. 👽 THIS GUY!

[syschotic]

[INCOMING TRANSMISSION]

Hey. I'm Zer0 I use Zhey/It Pronouns!

I'm a DID alter that's part of the psychotic system subgroup. I'm not a fictive I just named myself after my favorite character (Zer0 from Borderlands) and have a particular liking towards other characters who share the name Zero (like Zero from I.N.K.).

I'm fairly normal in comparison to some of the others in the subsystem except for one minor thing. I hate myself, I hate myself more than I'm even able to comprehend and I will never ever show my face to anyone. I have an obsession with masks and characters who refuse to show their face, like Rina Tennoji.

Video games are fun because I can be someone who isn't me, in particular I love the Legend of Zelda and Majora's Mask. I also really enjoy thrills like rollercoasters and very high heights because I get so lost in the pure adrenaline that everything else that's bothering me just fades away.

I'm still unsure if I will post much to this blog, but when I do my tags will be #incoming-transmission I probably will post about things I enjoy, or things that I hate.

[syschotic]

divider made by @kodaswrld

Hi I'm Hina 💜 I use she/they pronouns.

I am a fictive of Mafuyu Asahina and I share many characteristics with her - such as how I am drawn to sadness that overcomes me like a moth to a burning flame, so beautiful and seducing yet it would end me in an instant.

Though the dark can be comforting and wallowing in my own misery may bring a sense of bliss there are things that bring me into the light (even if just for a moment)

For one, I love being my fiancee's arms especially when I'm feeling like the world is about to collapse behind underneath me, I love literature and poetry (Edgar Allan Poe is one dear to my heart), I love Mafuyu Asahina, I love Rinko Shirokane, I love Blue Diamond and I love Corpse Bride. My favorite thing of all is music, I want to hear the words of my soul crying out for help in the lyrics. All I ever want is for other's to understand me, truly understand me.

I'll share my poetry, my emotions and my feelings about the characters that I see myself in on this blog. 🖤