sunflowrlouis

[sunflowrlouis]

Is anyone else constantly going back and forth between disbelief and crippling grief all the while going through life with a constant but sort of quiet sadness in you?

[sunflowrlouis]

does anyone know how im supposed to live with this profound sadness in my chest

[sunflowrlouis]

it’s not the end, I’ll see your face again

[sunflowrlouis]

LIAM PAYNE · 1993 - 2024

[sunflowrlouis]

[sunflowrlouis]

A thrilling saga

[sunflowrlouis]

“Have you ever noticed their faces individually?” - Liam’s reaction to the old 1D music video

[sunflowrlouis]

this is a niam appreciation post

[sunflowrlouis]

x

[sunflowrlouis]

seeing so many people who haven’t been here for a while . we’re all family and will always be . what we got to experience is rare and precious . hope time will allow us to look back at it with joy and peace again . hugging all of you tight

[sunflowrlouis]

i'm experiencing so many emotions. i'm still in shock, i'm still waiting for someone to come out and say it's all a lie. i also feel bad, and i feel guilty because i lost hope in liam a while ago, i discussed his behavior with my friends and i pitied him... i never wrote anything online bc even for the worst people, i will never write a tweet wishing for them to kill themselves. but i still feel guilty bc i doubted he could get better.

then i think about 1d and how much they mean to me, how big of an impact they had in my life... they saved me. then i think about how all of liam's addictions and mental problems started while in the band. then i feel even more guilty.

i said to a friend "i don't know how the boys survived 1d", and now that statement is not true anymore. i wish he could have gotten better and dealt with all the damage he did to others.

i feel angry too... bc people will reduce everything to "he was good" or "he was bad", but it's way more complex than that. i once said people didn't want him to get better, it was way more entertaining for the outsiders to see him fall and break.

amidst all these mixed emotions is despair, i doubt people will learn from this, i know the press will have a feast, i know people will reduce liam to his death and his wrongdoings.

i know that a lot of people won't understand how we feel, they will even call us names for hurting at the news... but i know there are some of us who just get it, because we feel it.

[sunflowrlouis]

I feel so fucking lucky to have been shaped into the person I am today by One Direction. 2024 me does not exist as I am today, without them. How lucky am I to have be changed by them. I’m here today on this tumblr, with all of you- friends, mutuals, strangers- because of them. One Direction will always be woven into the fabric of my memories, experiences and dreams. That is a truth that cannot change. I am so so lucky to have loved them and be loved by so many of you because of them. Wow.

[sunflowrlouis]

good morning, sending hugs to everyone, I hope this day treats you well ❤️

[sunflowrlouis]

what an absolute honor and my biggest pride and joy it is to witness louis' journey

[sunflowrlouis]

FAITH IN THE FUTURE is set to be released on November 11th.

Track list:

The Greatest

Written All Over Your Face

Bigger Than Me

Lucky Again

Face the Music

Chicago

Common People

Out of My System

Angels Fly

Saturdays

Silver Tongues

She Is Beauty We Are World Class

All This Time

That’s the Way Love Goes

*All according to Amazon, who is selling and shipping the item.

[sunflowrlouis]

i’m a boyfriend in that i’m an emotionally unavailable dick but it’s ok because i’m doing it in a girl way

[sunflowrlouis]

😍😍😍 [x]