strongismyvibe

[strongismyvibe]

Have you ever decided to do something that doesn't necessarily make sense to do but you still did it anyway?

Well...I did.

A little over a week ago I decided to join Anatomy gym again.

Wait? What!? That DOESN'T make sense.

To some. Yes. It doesn't make sense. But to me, it makes all the sense in the world.

Why?

Because although I do have two club memberships (Lifetime Gym and Anatomy Gym), the reason I decided to go back to Anatomy is because in the last few months since I've been gone, I haven't felt the satisfaction I used to get going to the gym. It was like there was void I felt after leaving Anatomy.

How can a gym leave such a void?

Before I left Anatomy in March, I definitely considered it my happy place. It felt like a haven of sorts. It was the place I went to whenever I needed to escape or decompress from life.

So why did you leave?

Several reasons.

The one that makes the most sense was that I was leaving to live at Lifetime Living and club membership was included with the rent. But apart from that there was also a subtle nuance I started feeling earlier in the year. Something that told me, a break from the gym was necessary.

So why not just freeze your membership?

Because I'm an idiot. We all live and learn.

Why Anatomy?

I used to be an avid street walker for years before joining Anatomy. I could walk for hours on end. One day, I no longer felt safe walking the streets. I experienced a near hit and run moment(I was the one almost hit of coarse...) and didn't trust cars or their drivers after that. Also, most days, I didn't feel comfortable walking some of the streets I had to walk past.

0ne day, while going through my mail, I saw a flyer for a gym that was under construction near my home. It hadn't dawned on me until I saw the photo of "unending" treadmills on the flyer that maybe joining a gym probably wasn't a bad idea. Without thought, I joined the next day.

I am grateful everyday for joining Anatomy Gym. It's true what they say about following your gut. I never once regretted my decision to join Anatomy. It felt right from the first moment I became a member.

Anatomy = Happiness.

It is not only a place for me to exercise, decompress and meditate but it is also a safe place for me to be at and above all...it is my happy place.

I hope you find/found your happy place as I have found mine for now.

Peace. Love. Happiness.

[strongismyvibe]

What is normal?

Recently, I've been going over the word "normal" over and over and over in my head.

Does "normal" even exist? or is this word a figment?

Honestly! What is normal?

I grew up in a very Cuban (female dominated) culture. I was taught to be willful, confident and above all empathetic. I am proud of where I come from and I am proud of my background. What I don't understand are the many challenges all these traits have brought me throughout my life.

Let me give you some background...

When I was younger, things seemed easier (cliché but very true).

To summarize things, people were nicer (or at least had some sense of humanity).

What the hell happened to people after I turned 30?! It's difficult to tell who is and isn't genuine these days. People just seem so miserable and unhappy. It's easy to assume that COVID is the culprit, but I've been witnessing miserable people for a long time. This type of "miserableness" has taken new form. More aggressive and at the same time sensitive in nature.

For instance, have you ever been the subject of ridicule or negative talk just because you decided to do something or say something that was genuine to you (not what others would have thought was "normal" of you)? Well, I have. Most of the time, if I'm not entertaining a conversation to talk poorly about someone or cater to someone else's needs, then something is "off" about me or I'm not "normal".

Maybe it's just me, but have you ever been questioned about being happy? (or better yet, your emotional state?)

Have you ever been told, "There's something off with you," "A normal person wouldn't do that", "Normal people don't act that way or say those things."

Yep. Me too.

Lately, I've caught myself questioning why I do something or say something a lot of times just because I end up overthinking what someone else might think about me.

It's SAD! I know!

Currently, I am at a point in my life where I really don't care to share a lot about myself anymore because I don't want to burden myself with thinking whether people may think I'm normal or if I'm "off".

I've always been taught that it shouldn't matter who you are. People shouldn't judge the details. Yet, unfortunately, I've come to realize that they do. Whether out of boredom or out of spite.

Normal should be whatever makes you feel happy (obviously within the limits of being humane) and not having to feel judged or threatened about being who you are.

I wish I could tell you I don't care about what other people think about me, but I do. I'm getting better at ignoring the little things, but I'm not completely 100% genuinely myself because of certain experiences I have been through in the past. Many I'm sure we all share in common.

I am, however, becoming more self aware of who I truly am and I am learning to appreciate being me. Off the bat, I can tell you that I am eccentric, I am openminded and I love caring for others openly.

I'm ok with that.

And, I'm learning to forgive and let go of those who are not ok with that.

Have I made mistakes? Oh! You bet I have. And, I'm sure I will continue to make mistakes. But, do I learn from those mistakes...

Every time.

In my opinion. Normal is a word that is moldable. There is no "one" perception of what it is.

And with that, I'll leave you to decide what is and isn't normal.

Peace. Love. Happiness.

[strongismyvibe]

Lets talk about confidence.

First off, what is confidence? I ask this because all of us have different opinions about what is and what isn't.

A year ago, I probably would've said that confidence is the ability to be present and surround yourself in a crowd of strangers. That didn't mean you had to look or feel like you were part of that crowd, but as long as you made yourself "look" confident, then that was what confident meant to me.

But, is that really confidence?

I guess it's up to who you are at this present moment.

In essence, yes. Being able to socialize and feel comfortable doing so is confidence. But, what about inner confidence? Does that qualify?

NO!

I think people forget that there is never one way to look at something.

I am so thankful to have grown up in Miami. It is a true melting pot of cultures and diverse minds. There is so much you can learn by just listening to what others are saying. In my early twenties I used my natural ability to socialize with others as a means of further educating myself. Some may call if networking, other May call it mentoring. Of course, facts are always disputable, but the knowledge that I gained about subjects I probably would have never come across, made me want to socialize more to learn more.

Personally, I am a BEAST at social confidence. I am comfortable being around any crowd and I don't really care about what people think about me in a social setting. For me, you either like me or you don't. It's just who I am as a person.

A weakness I know I possess in life is that I view everyone as an equal. No matter who you are (black, white, rich, poor), everyone has the same worth in my eyes- that's until you prove me wrong of coarse. As a child, I was taught that we are all the same in God's eye. That's why I call my love of people a weakness. I don't see myself as a religious person by any means but I do listen, and when I believe something is correct then I live by that truth.

But, over time, I've learned (sometimes in pretty ugly ways) that we are definitely not the same to the eye of the beholder and that we shouldn't try to prove to these individuals that people can change, and that people are good, because somehow, they've lost themselves and their own self confidence.

This is why I personally feel like I lack inner confidence.

My lack of inner confidence probably stems from the cultural ideology I grew up with. The ideology of what a woman was and their "role" in society. Growing up in with a Hispanic background in the United States definitely confused me while growing up. History books were teaching me to be one thing while my family was grooming me to be another. In my family, women were viewed as housewives and child eaters (mothers), being successful was an accomplishment we all strived for but it was the priority for living a "secure life."

When I broke out of that bubble (sometime in my early 20s), I realized that my family wasn't the only one holding me back from being who I am or strive to be. There are also people (strangers) in this world who could inflict as much insecurity as the one I had built during my childhood.

Let’s dissect this a little better…

Although all people are equal in my eyes, I have realized that not all people are well intentioned. I've been around my fair share of these individuals who are broken. I've learned that a good clue to finding out if someone is healthy for you or not is when I am hurting because of something they said to me. I’m not implying someone is bad or malicious because they hurt people but maybe the timing of the connection we currently hold with them is not a good fit.

Hence, the reason for the lack of inner confidence. This is when "I'm not good enough" takes over and you begin to lose confidence in yourself. When you actually believe that what this broken soul is telling you about yourself could actually be true.

Don’t fall into that trap…there’s no good that comes out of trying to fix stupid.

But, on a positive note, I believe some of these people are not aware of their actions as well as the impact they make on the lives of those who care about them.

We all got Shit. But, Shit either decomposes into fertilizer (which can make beautiful things grow) or flushed down a toilet (with a new start, cleaner water). This is why I believe that even those hurting from a troubled past or from some type of trauma can heal and be happy.

Back to confidence…

I, like those "lost souls", was not aware of how I was around certain people. The realization of my lack of inner confidence happened from a conversation I had with a good friend of mine, sometime last year. She noticed that whenever we would meet up, I always had a remark about how awful I looked or how fat I felt.

Her words shocked me because I felt "seen". Someone had called me out for calling myself out.

After she said that, I decided to do some soul searching and realized that she in fact was right! I was setting a precedent for myself whenever I was around her (or anyone I couldn’t physically match). I couldn't compete with her incredible figure and natural beauty. My social confidence was no match to her inner confidence.

I am grateful to her for waking me up that day. I, myself, wasn’t aware of what I was doing. I was bringing myself down in an effort to bring myself up.

Does that make sense?

I guess in layman’s terms…I was bringing myself down first. It was a heavy layer no one could break through. I was used to carrying this layer. Considering myself ugly was easier than fearing what others thought about me.

After I realized what I was doing, this challenged me to build a more positive image of myself and motivated me to pursue the challenge. If someone got close to breaking open that layer of “self loathing” then clearly the wall was crumbling. I needed to figure out how to build reinforcements or a new layer

I decided to build a new layer. A stronger layer. One I called “inner confidence”.

I am extremely grateful that someone called me out on my self-confidence and gave me the motivation to push past that disability and live a truer and more fulfilling life.

This video show the first time I showed the world part of my stomach after almost 5 years of hiding behind my clothes. I know this is only the beginning and it was the first time in a long time that I didn't care what anyone thought of my body or about me.

[strongismyvibe]

There are many good people in my life that I am so grateful for. One of them is my very good friend Jessica. She and I are not high school besties, we didn't meet in college...actually, our friendship happened randomly.

We met in 2018.

At the time, I was a student at FIU working towards my Masters in Disaster Management. It was one of the best experiences of my life and I would recommend anyone interested in Disasters to pursue a degree in it.

Back to Jessica...

I was attending a "cohort dinner" that a few of the cohort members from the Disaster Academy at FIU put together last minute. A colleague of mine from the cohort invited me. I honestly didn't really care to go (going out with the cohort after school hours wasn't my scene in particular. I'm not into bar hopping unless I'm celebrating somebody's birthday), but my childhood friend Diana had recently suffered a horrible divorce and I wanted her to get out of her house and see something different.

We all met at the Chili's restaurant by Dadeland Mall (That location is indefinitely closed) around 9 PM and it was about 10 of us who showed up (mostly people I hadn't met or interacted with before). About half an hour after we all sat, Pedro and Jessica, walked into the restaurant and joined us.

I had never met either of them and from the way that they walked in, I could've sworn they were a couple.

Jessica sat next to me and Pedro sat adjacent to her in the same table. I don't remember who started speaking first but I spent the entire night speaking to both Pedro and Jessica. They were so easy to talk to and they had so much knowledge to share about the disaster field. I was soaking in everything I was learning from them and their experiences.

I felt terrible about Diana because I left her hanging most of the night with the rest of the members in the table. But, John (my colleague) made sure she was taken care of properly at the table. He was such a gentleman with her.

After that dinner, Pedro left to Nicaragua with his wife (I found out later on the Jessica was not Pedro's wife/girlfriend) and it wasn't until months later, at an event that I went to for the American Red Cross that I saw Jessica again.

It was in that moment, that Jessica and I connected. It was like we were meant to be friends. We didn't just talk about disasters, we spoke about anything that came to our minds. We were super compatible and we had so many similar experiences that we kept saying "OMG!" every time we were able to relate with a story. I don't know how to describe what happened that day but it was like I trusted her from that moment on and to this day she remains like a sister to me.

These photos though, have nothing to do with Jessica ironically enough. As one of my rocks, Jessica has seen the good, the bad and the ugly. She knows what triggers me, what I am passionate about and what to push me to talk about. She is unlike any friend I've ever had.

She has helped me get through two very emotional and mentally difficult moments in my life and she knows that the best way to keep me looking forward is by doing what I love most. Helping people.

I owe her alot.

[strongismyvibe]

At work, Pura Vida Banana Bread is life.

If you're the type of person who believes food can't bring people together, then you definitely want to read this.

I started my new job 4 months ago. I love what I do, I love the organization I work for and most recently I love the office culture.

In all honesty, we are all pretty much introverts where I work at with the exception of one or two people. When I came in, it was difficult to connect with certain people (mostly because we were all still new and trying to find our niche). Little did we know that we don't have niche's (cliques) at my job, we're actually an entire drum circle!

But how does the Banana Bread play a part in all of this?!

Well, we actually didn't become a drum circle until one of our colleagues, Maggie, bought banana bread for herself at Pura Vida one day and had us all staring at her and salivating while she ate it.

I don't know if we all connected in that moment or if we were just all hungry for the same thing, but it was generous of Maggie to share her mini banana bread loaf for us to taste. It was definitely the first time we all connected at a different level in the office. We were all less tense around each other. We were smiling and laughing and sharing stories like if we were all long time colleagues. The banana bread brought warmth into the office and a sense of belonging.

Since that day, the culture at the office has become more united. We are more collaborative and open to sharing ideas with each. We have made "Banana Bread" an official coming-together event once a week. It's an excuse to break away from the office "headspace" and transition to a kind of/sort of happy hour (15 minutes really) moment to relieve any work stresses of the week. We all laugh at the little things and find solutions for the bigger things. Its a moment where we can unofficially meet to informally discuss work related topics.

I really look forward to our "Banana Bread" moments at the office. Every week we alternate who buys the banana bread. This never seems to be a problem. Everyone has become hooked on this new tradition and it seems to have become a norm to expect a 15 minute happy hour once a week :D

Peace. Love. Happiness.

[strongismyvibe]

I’ve never been great at consistency unless I have a plan in place. A routine.

Before I moved to Lifetime.living, I had a coach that always had a plan for me. She guided my nutrition, she built my workout routines and she was really good at motivating me. Not only was she a fantastic coach but over time she also helped me build self confidence and self awareness.

So you can just imagine how hard it was to leave my coach when I moved to Lifetime Gym. My coach was as special as any friend and I got used to depending on her for a lot. She was special to me because she was the first person who gave me the courage to make me feel comfortable in my own skin and to try things outside of my comfort zone.

It was amazing to have a coach who supported me and who taught me so much about a subject I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be interested in learning more about. It really does matter how you get your information sometimes. Coach Liz was so passionate about what she did that her energy made going to the gym and living a healthier lifestyle so easy and exciting. It made the transition from old habits to new habits a whole lot easier. Habits I still live by today.

After I moved, I decided that I would start taking ownership of my own health and wellness. This blog is my motivation for continuing what Coach Liz started. She gave me the courage to believe in myself and be proud of who I am. I want to be able to share that message with everyone who reads this blog and let you know that you can do anything you want to do. Don’t ever let people bring you down. If they do, then use that same energy to push forward and keep going, because guess what?! One day, they will all come back to you and say “how did you do it?”

Peace. Love. Happiness.

[strongismyvibe]

I am ashamed to say I fell victim to ‘slacking’ since getting Covid earlier this year. Covid wasn’t the entire reason why I started slacking at the gym, it was just the first excuse. There are many things that get in the way of our lives that we end up using as excuses when we lose focus of our goals. I could blame my slacking on: 1. New Job 2. Routine changes 3. negative relationships 4. Life transitions 5. etc, etc, etc… The truth is…I SLACKED OFF. I haven’t been committing myself to myself since January and I’m really disappointed about that. I’ve been using excuses to bring myself down, instead of using that same energy to bring myself up. Going to the gym, eating healthy and practicing self care is not a temporary habit. It’s a way of life and it’s time to quit slacking!!! https://www.instagram.com/p/Ceoo-CfuZ1h/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=