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The Power of Choice

Within these past couple of months, I’ve seen my fair share of highs and lows. I’ve experienced a measure of success as an independently published author, and I’ve learned what it means to be a responsible adult on numerous levels I had never experienced prior six months ago. Being an adult and making adult decisions can be very stressful. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t completely crossed the threshold of adulthood and that I’m still holding on to childish tendencies and behaviors. My emotions are so jumbled and I’m constantly trying to strike a balance between my wants and needs. I’m learning how to deal with not being able to have things that I really want, and how to slow down in order to speed up. I’ve learn to pay more than the usual attention to small details that otherwise mean nothing to other people but most definitely have significant value to me and my life. To a certain extent, I’ve allowed myself to experience feelings I had never experienced before and even though it was kinda scary opening up to myself the way I did, in the end I feel doing that did more good than harm. Self-evaluation requires a person to be honest with themselves in order to identify flaws in their characters and to gauge their growth from where they were nine months ago to now, and to where they want to be six months in the future. Being able to openly express your deepest emotions to yourself in such a raw way will sometimes leave you feeling a tad bit tender in some areas. You become sensitive and defensive because emotionally, you’re open and exposed. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right? Right. What good are disappointments if you don’t learn from them? How can you expect to grow in life if you don’t experience some sort of pain in one capacity or another, rather that’s heartache, disappointment, or even physical pain. The lessons that tend to stick with us the most are the ones that cause us to experience a certain amount of pain. “That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.”- An Imperial Affliction With that being said, I’ve had to let go of a lot of things. I’ve had to let go of both emotions and things that I was attached to emotionally. I’ve come to the realization that there are certain people who I can’t physically be around because once I’m done being with them, I’m mentally drained from the lack of encouraging conversations held. Fairness is a noble idea to have. Yet, we are told that life isn’t fair. So then, does that mean we shouldn’t accept fairness as something attainable in this life time? Why do people accept the existence of such a thing as fairness, if they hold on to the philosophy that life isn’t fair. Is it to prove that life indeed isn’t fair, and that in a perfect world with perfect people, total fairness would exist? Even though we are able to understand an inkling of what fairness is and express and experience it as imperfect people living in an imperfect world, at one point in all of our lives, we have/will express and experience a measure of unfairness. So then, is it really fair to explicitly, without any filter at all to only see the faults in others, without giving them the relief of the benefit of the doubt? Why is it so hard for people to see the good in others and highlight those qualities? Why is it so hard for people to respect other people’s point of view? Why is your way the right way and my way wrong? What facts do you have that proves you are nothing but right? In my opinion, not being able to respect the perspective, opinion, and beliefs of others is a sign of arrogance. It isn’t necessary to accept a different point of view if you don’t want to, all I’m asking of you is to at least respect it. Thomas Edison, Nikolai Tesla, and Albert Einstein, all are considered scientific geniuses because they had a bright idea and acted on it despite what people said couldn’t be done. At one point in time, a phone call could only be made by using a cord bearing telephone. And somewhere down the line, someone thought it would be brilliant if people we’re able to communicate without being limited to the radius of a corded telephone. That idea sounded ludicrous to people who thought it couldn’t be done because they had never done it and believed that the only way for a phone call to be made, was with an electrical chord. Now look at how far we’ve come. Geniuses we’re always called crazy and stupid until they showed people what resulted from their “craziness” and “stupidity”. The title of this post is, “The Power of Choice.” I called it that because in the end, we all have the power to choose how we want our lives to play out and how we want our story to be told. Our decisions make us who we are. If I don’t stand for something, I’ll fall for anything. If I don’t choose, someone else will choose for me. That’s why I stand for the exchanging of ideas, personal development, growth, and individuality. Exercise your right to choose. It’s hard sometimes because we are constantly being bombarded with people’s ideas of what sort of person we should be. It can be frustrating and confusing. In the end it’s damaging to a person’s self-esteem if they are not allowed to exercise their right to choose. this results in regrets, which equals resentment, which equals, unhappiness, which equals rebelliousness, which equals pain. So, if you haven’t already, choose what you want to be because you have the power to choose. I choose to be happy because I have the power to choose.

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We all know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that there aren’t a fix set of rules that can truly define exactly what beauty really is. We also know that everyone, no matter if they’re a woman or man, want to look their best. When you walk into a department store, the first thing that...

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A reader with her copy of STEAKHOUSE!

A reader with her copy of STEAKHOUSE! Grab your copy this week at http://t.co/MeKYMJgqlJ#weekdayread #readbooks pic.twitter.com/d53xPoXgSj

— Lasheda Harper (@LashedaHarper) December 3, 2014

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When Life is Threaten by Death

Near death experiences are scary as heck… When you’re living the last few moments that could end your life, a slew of emotions come over you, and for several stuttered seconds, you become completely engrossed in panic, fear, confusion, and terror. It’s only afterwards if you come out of the situation alive, do you understand how fragile life really is. Humans are the most intelligent creatures on the planet, yet they are the most notorious for creating ways to end life without any substantially humane reasons. Some take the lives of others, while others end their own lives. And then there are situations that prove to be beyond any human control, making death untimely and unbelievable. How easy it is for us to make jokes about things that have resulted in the death of so many. It kinda sounds sick, but in a sense at times, we unintentionally constitute death as an uncontrollable knee-slapper. Those who’ve never experienced death first hand, go through life in a hazy fabricated illusion. They are oblivious to the fact that death happens every second in all of the corners of the earth. This morning, I was tossed into a situation that could have resulted in me experiencing a ton of physical pain or possibly even death. My life literally juggled between the throws of an unforeseen occurrence. It was indeed scary to experience in real-time, yet when it was over, I couldn’t help but laugh a little. It was like I was laughing in order to mask the fear that had just paralyzed me in the span of time just a couple of seconds ago. Did I think little of the fact that my life had been threatened by death? No, I didn’t. But my goodness, was I relieved to come out in one piece. My safety and subsequent survival resulted in much happiness and glee…. I think Mark Twain made an excellent point when he said, “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” Life is short and can be shortened even more by one unexpected action that could result in a deadly mistake, therefore demonstrating the truthfulness of the following statement: life most certainly is always threatened by death. P.S. I also just wanted to say a quick thank you to all who have purchased STEAKHOUSE! September was such a good month for me! The best is yet to come. So if you haven’t done so already, be sure to click the link here, in order to get you copy via paperback or e-book today! Be sure to leave your thoughts and share this link with your friends. Sharing is caring!

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99% of the shots we miss, are the ones we never take. Sometimes the risk is worth it.

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Looking for a new book to read this weekend? Download STEAKHOUSE: A Collection of Selected Short Stories and Essays. Get your free sample copy today.

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“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt

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Life Lessons, Random Thoughts and Relatable Posts...

1.Stranger=Danger 2.The 3 second rule really does work (the 30 second rule is only acceptable inside your own bedroom). 3.Chocolate is the remedy to all emotional turmoil. 4.Miley Cyrus is not Hannah Montana in real life. 5.Ian Fleming's character James Bond, was named after an ornithologist. 6.Growing old beats the alternative – dying young. 7.If you want a temporary tattoo use permanent marker. 8.Elevator rides with complete strangers are always awkward. 9.When you're trying to read someone's shirt but they keep moving... 10.Never start an argument with a girl because they all have 450201845 GB memories, and will bring up something you did at 14:23PM (pacific time) on 7/8/2005. 11.When you spell Wednesday, you have to say it out loud as "Wed-nes-day" that way, you won't miss the silent 'n'. 12.That moment when you lie in bed at night replaying that conversation you had with your crush, and you mentally beat yourself up because all you managed to say was, "Hi." 13.This generation doesn't ring the doorbell...we text or call to say we're outside. 14.Wondering if your mom will let you make pancakes even though its 11:00 pm. 15.Interrupt my sleeping and I'll interrupt your breathing. 16.No matter how old it gets, "This Is How We Do It" will always be a party favorite. 17.There is always that one person on every social media site that works hard at being the unofficial Grammar Nazi. 18.That irritating moment when you have milk in the fridge, but no cereal in the pantry. 19.When someone tells me," Go get a job" I be like, (clears throat because I'm 'bout to go HAM) "Uhm...I'm a full-time stay at home blogger, so excuse yo'self." 20.Shout out to all those kids who parents won't let them eat inside their rooms #thestruggleisreal. Let's bow our heads in a moment of silence.

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Paperback Vs. E-Book

The year is 2014. Our world and society has shifted from tangible substances into an invisible realm known as the Internet. As an author, the question that probably plagues you constantly when determining how and in what format to sell your book is, “Should I make my book available in e-book format or should I go the traditional paperback route?” Which format will make you the most money? Well, let’s consider the facts. Even in today’s technological world, book stores still exist. This means that to a certain extent, getting you book published through the medium of a tangible book can make you a decent profit. There still exist a nice hunk of people like me, who are book fanatics and actually prefer tangible books over e-books. Having your book published in the traditional paper and ink format opens an extra income stream for you, because it allows you to market to customers who prefer actually books over e-readers. I am the proud owner of two e-readers, a Kindle and a Nook and both devices works wonders. With the development of e-readers, people are now able to haul around several books without adding extra weight to their bags and purses. And considering the fact that just about everyone has a smart phone these days with the Kindle app and e-reading capability, it is safe to say that publishing your book(s) electronically, will definitely make you money. E-books sale more than paperback books because it is so much easier to click the download button, instead of going to bookstores to buy them. Even if someone orders a book online, they still have to wait a day to receive their package in the mail. E-readers and e-books, eliminates the wait. So which method will make you the most money? Publishing your work as an e-reader. Can you also publish in paperback form and still make money? Yes you can, but your biggest profit will come from publishing your work as an e-reader. So for all those indie-authors out there that are trying to make a name for themselves in the writing and literary community, this post was for you. I hope that it was helpful. Be sure to like, comment and share this post. Thanks for reading, and happy writing-Lasheda

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Phenomenal Woman

Phenomenal Woman BY MAYA ANGELOU Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms, The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. I walk into a room Just as cool as you please, And to a man, The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Men themselves have wondered What they see in me. They try so much But they can’t touch My inner mystery. When I try to show them, They say they still can’t see. I say, It’s in the arch of my back, The sun of my smile, The ride of my breasts, The grace of my style. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me. Now you understand Just why my head’s not bowed. I don’t shout or jump about Or have to talk real loud. When you see me passing, It ought to make you proud. I say, It’s in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair, the palm of my hand, The need for my care. ’Cause I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.

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#YesAllWomen

The issue regarding sexism here in America is a relentless battle without an end. The argument that the female anatomy and mind is of lesser value than that of men, have sparked numerous women rights crusades intended to herald in the triumph of women in America (and other countries). Those crusades have progressed to what many today know to be Women Rights. The rights that women in America have fought for are, but not limited to: 1. the right to vote 2. property rights 3. birth control and reproductive rights 4. and equality within the work place. Feminist, have emphasized that a part from women being female, every woman living on this planet is first and foremost a human being. And as a human being, certain rights belong to them without those rights having to be made into laws, or without women having to ask for permission to exercise those rights. With that being said, the idea of women being treated as lesser than men have left many women feeling vulnerable, unloved, and used. Marches, protest, petitions, and demonstrations have served as mediums for the women of this world, to tell men and society alike to “Stick it, we don’t need you or any law telling us what we can and can not do.” Yes All Women The hastag #yesallwomen have been circulating around Twitter and Facebook in an effort to further the cause and to shed light on the realities women living in this day and age experience. About two months ago, I ran across a quote of a 13 year-old student, attending Haven Middle School, in Illinois. Her school had banned female students from wearing yoga pants and leggings, because it served as a distraction to male students. Sophie Hasty of Haven Middle School is quote as saying,”Not being able to wear leggings because it’s ‘too distracting for boys’ is giving us [girls] the impression we should be guilty for what guys do.” The truthfulness of that statement is irrefutable. Why should any female be held accountable for the actions of any male? In some instances, that is the same principle that rapists use to justify their actions. Some men have limited the existence of women to nothing more than maids and slaves, created to fulfill their every desire and grant their every wish. And unfortunately, some women have succumb to that credo and live by those standards in order to obtain and maintain a boyfriend or husband. This is not to generalize all men. Some men do see women as the intelligent creatures we are, unique in our genetic makeup and ways. They recognize that women have played an important and major role in their lives, and that societal advancements have been pushed forward because of the many strong-willed women who would not back down and just ‘take it’. Yes, the power that women have over men, in society, and within themselves, is something men do not have, nor can posses. The power of a woman belongs solely to a woman because it is a part of her. The way a woman directs and yield her power in order to create and produce is second to none, and can not be copied by a man. In most cases, men are physically stronger than women. It use to be that a man’s power was measured by how much he could lift and how big his muscles were. The bigger his muscles were, the more power he had. As women began to loosen the bonds society placed on them because they were considered to be the ‘lesser ones’, the meaning of power shifted. A woman’s strength is built through the emotionally charged experiences of her life, therein, binding the “DNA” of her power. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie made a profound statement regarding what true power is: “We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man.” Yes, true power is in the idea of something, not being able to lift something. Men have come to realize that ideas is what move countries forward. Ideas are the building blocks of a successful business, and ideas are what formulate government and structure. Being able to think is what creates ideas, and having ideas gives you power. Yes, all women are phenomenal.

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Remember, there is no such thing as thinking too much. Thinking is such a luxury nowadays...

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The possibility of a woman being sentenced to death because of the man she married, seems a little bit far-fetched in this day and age. To a huge extent, I thought that we as a worldwide society, had moved forward and away from the traditional realms of marriage held so tightly in place in years past. There were those who only 50 years ago preached anti-miscegenation so as to not destroy the purity of a race’s bloodline, so much so that in the Southern parts of the United States, interracial marriage, especially between a Black person and a White person, was illegal. In some parts of the world, that ideology still holds weight. In 2014, that ideology has continued to run rampant in certain parts of the world as it relates to not only race, but also religion. The story of Meriam Yehya Ibrahim Ishag, a native of the African country Sudan, has been sentenced to 100 lashes and death by the Islamic courts, because she chose to marry a Christian man... Read the rest of this post by clicking the link:

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This Is Why Reality Checks Are Important...

When was the last time you checked your version of reality to see if what you perceived to be, is actually there? It’s kinda like random gravity checks… No, I didn’t trip, I was just checking to see if gravity still worked. That sort of gravity check. And it is the same with reality checks. Reality checks can also be called those “salty moments”. For those that are unaware, the urban definition of the word salty is as follows: A word that means you just got played or are looking stupid, either because of something you did or something that was done to you. It can also refer to an instance when you are certain that you are correct about something, but come to find out you’re wrong. We have to have reality checks from time to time to ensure that we are not living a delusional and “fake” version of our lives. Sometimes, it’s irritating, but usually it’s necessary.

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Which Classic Literary Character Are You?

Which Classic Literary Character Are You? (polls)