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me at the pearly gates: heyyy god

god: okay so look it's really straightforward the one rule is you can never have read fanfiction where celebrated 1840s naval officer james fitzjames is tenderly forcibly feminised by his even more decorated naval superior francis rawdon moira crozier specifically wherein the latter's dick does not work because they are both in the middling stages of scurvy like that's the only thing

me: okay listen 🤦

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i bet chappell roan hates that charli xcx got the cool gay fanbase that loves drugs sex and serving cunt and she got the gay fanbase that thinks steven universe endorsed war crimes

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nice things will happen but first you have to lose all hope and die 45 times

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PART OF YOU IS GOING TO DIE

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Im surrounded by people who are annoying and stupid and also people who are so much smarter and more hardworking than me and basically im going to die

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sometimes you just want to look at the qing dynasty jadeite cabbage again

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what’s happening with santa

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evil shirley jackson be like: and whatever walked there walked together

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white boy shocks everyone at the restaurant by ordering in perfect Proto-Indo-European

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GOD OKAY ALRIGHT

Imagine a boyband and one of them chooses the gimmick "the poiosner"

Like in interviews he drops hints that he's taken lives ans he jokes about not leaving your food with him and all his clothes have like snakes or green vials in the design

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Nikolaus Gerhaert, Madonna and Child (Dangolsheim Madonna), Strasbourg c. 1460/1465; walnutwood, remains of original colours.

Full statue

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it’s a real shame that explosions exist because cigarette while pumping gas just makes so much sense + seems beautiful

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long time no davrin…