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I need to see someone make a Father Paul Ptolemaea edit rn, screaming crying throwing up because I can’t edit for shit

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Love how Hamish Linklater delivers all of Father Paul's sermons like the man was doing lines of coke in the backroom of the church

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Cried my eyes out over midnight mass but the concept is so funny if I think about it. Priest saw a nosferatu vampire and went "omg an angel... I'm bringing it home" and then the horrors

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sorry that when i see people hating on my favorite movies i start clawing at the walls and vomiting up blood and bashing my head into the concrete and swinging around a firearm that isn’t very everyone is entitled to their own opinions of me

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PLEASEEEEE

woke up at 7 am in a cold sweat and immediately had to start writing strange darling fanfic

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actual plot of the passenger(2023)

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(insp)

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Clawing at the iron bars of my enclosure I feel like he'd smell like motor oil and really shitty axe body spray tho

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Can't find enough Kyle Gallner character fics so I'm gonna do it myself

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his vagina is just out touching the floor!!!!!

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Until Dawn Incorrect Quotes #2

Emily: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Mike: you are literally making a valentines day card for y/n right now

Emily: *points hot glue gun at him* You're on thin fucking ice Michael

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If you don’t mind can you do Matt (Until Dawn) x reader headcannons please?

Hiiii!!!! I'm so sorry this took so long, put in a lot of overtime with work, but here it is!!

Also if it's your first time reading something from me, go give @thebestever16 a follow and check out some of their stuff :)

Lastly, I feel like nobody writes for him so I'm gonna give my all for this. In this edition he never dated Emily, nor did the prank ever happen

Dating Matt Taylor Headcanons

He's super shy, but behind closed doors or around close friends he can be super affectionate and massive shows of PDA

Tries to act kinda macho but quickly realizes he doesn't have to, so he tones it way down

You are the only person allowed to wear his jacket. If one of the other girls are cold? Absolutely not. One of the other guys has to give up their coat.

But if you look even the slightest bit cold he's shrugging it off his shoulders and tucking it around you before you ever say a word

He loves spoiling you, but in a nonchalant way

Such as

"Oh by the way, I saw this at the store and remembered you said something about wanting it." as he puts down a dress (or whatever you want) you didn't buy because it was so beyond expensive

"Matt, baby, you have to take this back this is too much!"

Or paying before you even have a chance to reach for your wallet

Piggyback rides are one of his favorite subtle ways too

"We've been walking for a couple blocks, and I know those shoes have to be hurting you, want to hitch a ride for a bit?"

One of his greatest talents is the way he can calm you down

Depending on what's going on with you he can either make you laugh or tell you how he feels

If you're down about yourself?

He tells you exactly how beautiful you are, how much he adores everything about you and how much he admires you

He even tells you he thinks he doesn't deserve you

His tension breaking skills are legendary

He's made you laugh during slightly inappropriate situations, but it helped you in the moment

Loves when you come to his games, like his own little private cheerleader

The first time you stole his jersey he melted into a little Matt puddle on the floor

It became his lockscreen for his phone within minutes

Wakes up before you everytime just out of habit, but won't move a muscle until you wake up. Even if he has to pee or something he'll wait.

No matter how chill he portrays himself as, he can be a cheesy lil guy

Like letting you call him Matty, he doesn't care if he gets made fun of by his friends, he loves hearing you say it

Not super huge on petnames

Mostly babe or baby

However in the mornings, when you wake up, bedhead and all, it's Sunshine because it's funny to him

Making sure you're comfortable in a situation is very very important to him

He understands, he's been stuck in the circle of peer pressure a few times, so even if he won't stand up for himself, he'll stand up for you in a heartbeat

You're both at one of Josh's parties and need a break? He'll take you out on a walk until you're feeling better or you'll just both head to one of the rooms and chill out

Someone comes up with a stupid idea that you don't want to do and they're pressuring you?

He's putting you behind him and making it very clear to the other to leave you alone

However, if that upsets you, he'll just leave with you. You come first to him. Doesn't matter if he's having fun.

In the game, they said he wasn't "the sharpest tool in the shed", so he loves studying with you, you explain things in a way he can understand better and it really helps him

Yall know his little cheeky side smile?

Anytime he uses some sort of cheesy pick up line on you, that's the smile that comes out, and his cheeks darken a bit

I fully believe this man is a big spoon all the way, never the little spoon

However, his other favorite form of cuddling his laying between your legs with his head on your chest, especially when he's tired from practice or college classes

Speaking of cuddling

Always has his arm around your shoulders/waist or holds your hand

It grounds him, and he just likes being close to you

Also very big on chivalry

He'll get out of the car and basically dive over the hood so he can open the door for you

Another big thing is your health oddly enough

"Babe...you know how much I love you and want you to be happy, but energy drinks are NOT water, and will not hydrate you." "No but it's a liquid." The man is stressed

Would definitely get one of those giant water bottles that encourages you to drink your water

And keeps foods/snacks he knows you like in his kitchen

"I'm pretty hungry, I could definitely go for some (insert favorite food) right now, how about you baby?"

"Matty I know your tricks...but yea...I could eat."

He just wants you to be healthy <3

Body language is something he's always watching too, even if you're acting fine he'll know how you're actually feeling just based on that and act accordingly

He tries his hardest to do date night at least once a week but sometimes it's just you two ordering take out and chilling on the couch

Please reassure him 🥺 he tries to hide it but he gets a lil insecure that he's not being a good partner, especially when he gets busy and can't be around all the time

The first time he said he loved you, it came out of nowhere. You came to one of his games with his friends to cheer him on

When the game was won, you ran into his arms like he had just won the superbowl

As he held you up, still covered in sweat and still in his uniform, that cheeky smile appeared under his helmet guard

"I love you, you know that?"

You couldn't help but smile back, and lean close

"I do."

GAHHHHH,this definitely has helped spark inspiration!!! Once again I'm sorry it took so long, I hope you enjoyed, and if you did don't be afraid to drop more requests into my inbox

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Edward trying to play baseball with his family after breaking up with Bella in New Moon

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#bestfriends

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Until Dawn Incorrect Quotes #1

Josh: *holding open the door* After you

Chris: No, please after you

Josh: no I insist, after you

Ashley: *shoves past both of them* After me

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Josh, Ashley, and Chris have smoking sessions together

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Damn was not expecting this post to get this amount of attention, if yall are interested I've got some Billy fics/headcanons in the works so stay tuned ig :)

Nobody:

Me: There is depth and unknown horror in Billy being chosen by the mind flayer. While he was physically strong, aggressive, he was mentally weak which made it easier to take him over. We see brief moments of his asshole persona breaking, like his moments with Neil he reverts back to almost childlike fearfulness, or when Max drugged him and screamed at him to say he understood her. Both moments of violence on him. He's violent as a result of violence, however inside there's a shattered boy who misses his mother and his home he can't return to. It needed to be him to begin the spread of the flayed. A very mentally well/strong person could have possibly restrained it but idk.