sparrow-writes-draws

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Today I felt nostalgia.

I get home from work and chat with my brother for a bit before going upstairs to shower. I lay in my bed, dozing as my sleep is interrupted by a call. My cousin, she tells me to come with her and my brother to eat at my grandparents house. I didn’t even realize my brother had left. I tie my hair up without drying it properly and walk over, annoyed and amused over the fact my brother had stolen my car, forcing me to walk in the chilly evening. When I get there, my cousin’s already left, home to nap before she goes to cheer. My brother leaves soon too, something or other he has to do that I can’t remember.

I stay with my grandma, sitting infront of the fireplace older than me. Without it the house would have frozen long ago. I listen to the sound of her cooking, lulled by her soft words. She’s cooking enough to feed my family and my cousin’s.

My grandpa comes in, tired from moving wood to their outdoor shack. I watch him eat and I’m reminded of his age, his bruised hands from slow tired blood. He goes to bring wood inside and I rush to help. He’s older now, somehow, I’m not sure when, I can carry more wood than him. After I watch them sit tired and I sweep the floor for them, cleaning the trails of dirt and wood chips.

I notice the tiles as I sweep. they’re duller then i remember. The cement in between each tile seemed more cracked than before.

I sit with my back to the hearth again, enjoying it warming my clothes and my chilled skin. My grandma sits next to me on a woven stool. I let my hair down to dry it with the heat and she ruffles it playfully. She smiles and laughs at my colored, damp hair, scolding me lightly for the dyed streaks in my dark hair.

Soon enough she drags me close to her, I sit on the ground in front of her as she rubs and scratches my back and damp head. I know that I should be doing this for her, but she always insists. Even though she’s in her chair and I’m on the ground, I’m still as tall as her, I’ve been taller than her for a while but this points it all out even stronger. She tugs my head until I’m rested in her lap. My neck cramps from the odd angle, my spine sore from the bend. My body is tense, worried about the weight I rest on her but I can’t bring myself to sit up.

It’s been so long since I’ve been held, no- doted on like this. I remember doing this as a child, the strain on my back nonexistent. I could lean on her legs with ease. Her hair was darker then, her skin less wrinkled, her hands stronger.

I still feel like a child, though. In her hands, I still feel as vulnerable and fragile as the small girl I was.

When I sit up, no longer able to stand the strain on my back, it isn’t only my bones that ache.

My hair is dry by now, and I’m not sure what I mourn as I tie it back up in its tight knot.

Today I felt nostalgia.

[sparrow-writes-draws]

Ahhhh I just wanted to try painting and ended up making a fishmen scene but I love it <3

(Progress pics, speed paint, close up under break)

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THE SWIMMING PIC HAS ME SOBBING 😭😭

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The TikTok ban is in full effect. I scrolled while the comments stopped loading. And then I couldn’t like videos. And then I scrolled to the end of my feed. No more videos showed up.

And in my last videos I posted I am defiant and snarky and proud. I laugh in the face of the establishment that seeks to keep us meek, subservient worker drones.

But here now, in the silence, I am sad. It feels like I’m adrift at sea with no hope of seeing my community ever again. For the first time in a long time, my own company feels lacking.

I wish I could talk to everyone and see how they’re handling it. I want to know how they’re feeling. Did they experience the same thing?How long before the app fully stopped for them?

People said they were coming to tumblr and I’m sure they are, but I don’t know how to find them. Where are you? Can you hear me? Is anyone there?

Please let us find each other again.

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Kids are dying at school due to guns. Meanwhile, the U.S. government decided it was more important to ban a social media app over national security concerns that they have no proof of. Money speaks, and it will never be in the people’s favor

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This feels like the most poetic TikTok I could have ended on tbh, the sound? The text? The fact that it's a small person and not a business or big creator? God speed, TikTok, even if you come back I don't think I'll trust you again 🫡

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“We are fortunate that President Trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate TikTok once he takes office.”

I never talk politically with my own words on this site since I don’t know as much as I’d like to, but this is absolute bullshit. Don’t fall for this. There’s no good intent with this. I’ve never felt more mistrust in the U.S. government than I have now. And I know it will only get worse with Trump’s inauguration.

This won’t be the end of it. Keep your eyes OPEN.

[sparrow-writes-draws]

I’m blocking you if you start sucking his dick after he brings it back in two days btw

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2 completely different messages around 20 minutes apart. The felon is trying to buy back the youth.

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I think the wildest thing about the TikTok Ban is that TikTok decided to adhere to it beyond the letter of the law.

They bent their knee willingly and gave up space and a platform they did not have to. They consciously decided to fuck over their user base when there was no valid reason for them to do so.

I've seen people talking about how you absolutely do not want to obey ahead of authority, and to see TikTok do it is... weird. It's unsettling. It feels like a dangerous stunt.

Specifically, it feels performative. It's got the marks of a Great Drama™, and given Trump's first 4 years and his absolutely bonkers love for theatrics over anything else, this just feels hollow. Like TikTok is trying to turn it's - generally younger - user base into "fans" of the republicans.

They can't really scoop up youths any other way, honestly. But using a big impactful story and putting Trump as the "hero" who saves their beloved platform.

It's not even the 20th and I just don't like how this new administration is starting. I do not like a private company complying beyond the letter of the law in advance of that law either. Because the only thing the law laid down was that they couldn't update the app on Apple and Google.

There wouldn't have been any fines or legal ramifications.

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I also saw an IT person say that the whole “going dark” is actually to facilitate all the servers being changed to the Meta servers in America. I didn’t download that video before the pop up appearing unfortunately

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Yall the ban fr went through wtf even is free speech in this fuck ass country

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Downloading red note and then immediately after Duolingo feels like I’m finally awakening my dumb American brain lmaoooo /pos

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CHINESE PEOPLE ARE SO SWEET 😭😭😭🙁

I just downloaded rednote to see what all the hubabuloo was about and bro these people are so cute, I'm gonna rip myshsbksgishihi

There was this american who posted her art and was confused on why people were saying “teacher” and the chinese people were explaining that that's what they call a good artist and then they were asking what americans call good artists, so naturally, americans were telling them that we compliment people by saying we wanna eat their art and the person replied with “oh guys let's dig in! (am I doing this right?)” OH MH GODDDDXS 😭😭😭😭😭

They are my everything.

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i'm like actually legitimately loving that the result of the tiktok ban is decimating decades of propaganda against china in record time. everyone is flocking to the actual chinese-owned version of tiktok called rednote where they are being welcomed so warmly with the silliest jokes like "i'm your assigned chinese spy! i've been waiting for you! welcome!" alskdjgsld. folks are already making attempts to learn some mandarin to better interact with the chinese users. everyone realizing what our own government collects on us is twice as harmful as anything ccp could do with it. everyone waking up to the fact that every fucking facet of the american internet is designed to harvest and sell personal data off of you so what the fuck does it actually matter anyway if one more entity does it. us government managed to speedrun undoing their own fucking brainwashing it's so goddamn funny.