someplayfuldreams

[someplayfuldreams]

mark me with your words - ch. 10

pairing: diluc x childe

genre: angst & fluff/ au-soulmate

warnings: small mention of self-harm, but nothing actually happens

word count: 6.8k

summary: 

Good Morning ㅤ:) It looks like the foxes have started to change their coats, cause I saw two white foxes hopping around this morning! The silver message calmed his heart. Diluc smiled and sent a quick good morning message back. Ajax was fine. He had returned alive. He was safe at home.

A/N: I liiiiive! here is my offering before i go back into hibernation haha, its longer than usual to make up for my year-long disappearance and i was just on a roll i guess

also on ao3 under the user playfuldreams

ch.1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9 | ch. 10

enjoy!~

Diluc looked out into the darkness. Cold winds and snow whipped around him, flinging his hair over his eyes.

“Ajax!” Diluc cried out.

The falling snow blinded him as the winds swallowed his screams.

Diluc continued walking forward slowly, struggling against the blizzard. His heart thundered in his chest. He had to find Ajax.

He squeezed his eyes shut as a strong gust of wind blew nearly toppling him over, but Diluc held his ground.

He tried to call his flames, but his vision would not listen to him, and the flames sputtered out as quickly as he summoned them.

The coldness crept up his fingers and toes. Diluc clenched his teeth, preventing them from chattering.

“Ajax!” Diluc called again. “Don’t worry, I am coming for you! I will save you, so just keep holding on!”

Diluc tried to call on his flames once more, to no avail. He managed to move a good distance forward before another blast of wind rushed over him. This time he wasn’t able to stay standing. Diluc fell to the snow, wildly waving his arms trying to grab something, anything, that would ground him.

Thankfully, the wind stopped and disappeared completely along with the darkness.

Before Diluc could even rejoice, he looked down at the snow where his hands were. Flecks of red dotted the white ground. Diluc followed the trail with his eyes and saw it disappear into the treeline a little ways ahead.

Diluc struggled to breath, from the cold and his anxiety, as he shakily stood up. He slowly made his way to the treeline but didn’t cross over.

“Ajax?” Diluc called, his voice trembling. When no answer came, he called again.

“Ajax? Are you there? I’m coming, just…” Diluc tried to find the right words, but his throat began to constrict and the air around him continued to leech off his warmth.

However, Diluc stepped into the trees. He could not give up here. Not when his fated might be bleeding out ahead of where he was.

The light dimmed as the trees blocked the little sunlight there. Diluc steadily made his way forward.

The shadows around him danced like ghouls, and the wind that picked up cackled at his fear.

Diluc swallowed, trying to regain his composure. But every spot of red he followed hammered away at his confidence.

Finally, Diluc made it to a clearing where the sun light up the center.

On top of a pile of pristine white snow lay his Fated.

The red snow went from puddles to rivers the closer it got to the center. Diluc continued walking to his Fated, but it felt like his feet were barrels of wine filling more and more with each step he took.

Once he reached the middle, he saw a boy laying still, painting the snow in his own lifeblood.

Diluc collapsed to his knees, his feet unable to handle his weight anymore. The cold had crept to his torso, freezing his heart.

He reached out to touch his Fated’s face. Diluc wasn’t able to tell if it was Ajax’s face or his hand that was cold.

Even so, Diluc continued to caress Ajax’s face. He leaned his head down whispering apologies.

“Are you really sorry?” A voice said. Diluc raised his head to see vacant blue eyes staring back at him.

“Why didn’t you come and save me? You promised you would protect me.” The lips on the face moved.

“I-” Diluc tried to speak.

“You weren’t strong enough. And now you have to pay the price.” The cold voice spoke.

The cold pierced Diluc’s heart causing him to double over.

“No…” He said weakly, reaching out to keep a hand on Ajax. But the body had already gotten out of his reach. He had somehow returned to the edge of the clearing.

“No, I- I promise I will get stronger. I will protect you next time!”

As the icicles burrowed further into his heart and the winds picked up, Diluc watched as the body of the boy awkwardly rose, blood frozen to invisible cuts.

“But there won’t be a next time.” The voice whispered.

The blizzard picked up once again taking away all of his senses. Diluc screamed, calling for Ajax and fighting the pain in his heart, before falling into the darkness once more.

Diluc startled awake in cold sweat. His chest heaved as he tried to control his breathing. After a few seconds, Diluc threw off the blankets and went to wash his face. His hands continued to shake as he wiped off the water.

Diluc gripped the sink and ran through the breathing exercises. When his breathing gradually returned to normal, Diluc returned to his room.

He looked out the window to see the first rays of light coming from the horizon. He sighed and ran a hand over his face. The reoccurring dream had started when Ajax first lost contact.

Diluc quickly glanced at his arm.

Good Morning ㅤ:) It looks like the foxes have started to change their coats, cause I saw two white foxes hopping around this morning!

The silver message calmed his heart. Diluc smiled and sent a quick good morning message back.

Ajax was fine. He had returned alive. He was safe at home.

It had been 2 months since Diluc had heard back from Ajax after the three day silence.

The day after Diluc had seen Ajax’s answer, he went to church to thank Barbatos. He made sure to promise that he would do his best as a knight and that he would offer his all to the Archon as thanks.

When Diluc tried asking about what happened, Ajax only replied in vague terms. From the way he wrote about it, it seemed like Ajax didn’t want to talk about it. So, Diluc chose to not chase the topic. His Fated had returned safely; he didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for him.

Diluc did try to press on how Ajax had gotten the scars. However, Ajax played them off.

Oh I accidentally slipped and fell on my adventure. But don’t worry, I’m okay now and they have all healed. Now you don’t have to keep apologizing for the scars you got haha, was the only response Diluc got.

He wasn’t able to pursue that either since Ajax kept skirting around it. All Diluc knew was that his Fated was lying to him about them. The scars Diluc had found were not ones you could get from a fall. The shapes looked like they were made by claws or weapons.

But there was only so much Diluc could do to try and get Ajax to talk, so he gave up on it.

For now.

He hoped Ajax would tell him when he felt more comfortable. Diluc rationalized Ajax was still recovering from the incident and did not wish to keep talking about it.

Diluc did notice that there would be small silvery nicks appearing on his skin every now and then. This was new since all the scars so far where from when Diluc trained and learned to control his vision. At first, Diluc would contact Ajax anytime he noticed a new scar, but after having it happen multiple times, Diluc just learned to let it go. Most of the scars were not life-threatening like before, and as time went on fewer and fewer appeared. His Fated was fine and that’s all that mattered. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

After the whole disappearing incident, Diluc realized just how powerless he was. And seeing as he had another nightmare, it seemed his fears would not go away any time soon.

All he could do was focus on getting stronger, which is what he did. He had increased his personal training time and went headfirst into his work as Captain.

After sending the response back to Ajax, Diluc began getting ready for the day. He would have to complete his morning training before breakfast was ready. He had added some extra Vision training since Diluc wanted to have full control over his flames. He was now able to cover his weapon with his flames for a longer time while still keeping them stable. And he finally managed to get them to stop melting the metal, which Diluc was pretty proud about.

After getting dressed, he pulled his hair into a pony and walked to the training grounds to start his routine.

The sun was halfway above the horizon by the time Diluc finished. He went to wash up before sitting at the table for breakfast.

Kaeya had already started eating and was chatting with Adelinde and Elzer when he sat down.

“Good morning, Diluc! Are you going to join the competition this week?” Kaeya asked.

“Ah, that was this week.” Diluc said, taking a bite of the bread. “I do not think I will have time. I still have to arrange the patrol units after Paul retired and Jonas got injured. Besides, I also have to catch up on some paperwork.” He continued after swallowing.

“Archons Diluc, you have been working yourself to the bone these past couple of months. I already know you’re all caught up on the paperwork. Jean told me you’re practically stealing her work or making some yourself.” Kaeya lamented. “Don’t you think it’s time you relaxed a little?”

“No. There is still much to do. Even if the guard around the city is stable now, we do not know when an attack could happen or if someone could get lost out there. We need to be prepared for anything. And the patrols are our main way of receiving information early on.” Diluc stated.

Kaeya sighed. “You know you’re not the only knight, much less Captain. It’s okay if you divvy up the tasks.”

“Yes, I know that, but-”

“Diluc, I know you said you were fine, but something is clearly bothering you. You have always been a workaholic but not like this. It’s like… you’re being hounded. ”

Diluc tensed. “It is nothing like that. I am just trying to keep our nation safe. I do not see why that is a problem.”

He could feel Kaeya staring at him, but Diluc did not meet his eye.

“I’m just worried. We all are.” Kaeya said softly.

When Diluc continued to stay silent, Kaeya sighed again.

“Just make sure to take care and not push your limits. I hope you at least know that’s something expected of a good knight.”

Diluc grunted in response. He quickly brushed off any crumbs and stood up.

Straightening his coat, Diluc said, “I am heading out. I will see you at Headquarters.”

And without sparing another glance, Diluc left.

The sun was high in the sky by the time Diluc decided to return to his office for a short break. He could practically hear the cheers from his subordinates when he called for lunch. Maybe he has been going overboard.

Diluc pulled out his lunch Adelinde had prepared along with his quill and silver ink.

How was the fishing trip? He wrote.

While waiting for a reply he began to eat.

Ajax told him he would be going on an ice fishing trip with his father and siblings. Diluc had hoped that would lighten his Fated’s mood, which had been more aggressive than usual.

I didn’t go, was what Diluc got back.

Why not? Are you hurt?

Of course Diluc’s mind goes straight for the worst case scenarios.

no, I got in trouble and couldn’t go

What happened?

I just wanted to get a snow globe for my little brother, but some guy tried to take it from me so I stopped him

Why would that get you in trouble?

papa didn’t like how I did it so I was grounded

Diluc debated on asking what he did to keep the snow globe, but figured it was a less than savory method and chose not to address it.

So what are you doing today then? I know you told me you were going to learn some new recipes from your Mother

I’m banned from the kitchen so I cant do that anymore

Banned? why?

they don’t trust me with the knives

Diluc was first confused, and then worried. Why on earth could his family not trust him with knives?

And of course, the first thing Diluc’s mind conjured up was an image of Ajax putting the blade to his own sk-

Diluc quickly shook his head to banish the thought.

No. There’s no way Ajax would do such a thing. He never showed any indication of self-harm. All the scars were most likely from fights. That meant Ajax wanted to survive. Wanted to live.

But then that lead to another conclusion. Ajax was using weapons to harm others.

Diluc didn’t want to think that was true either. His sweet and innocent Fated could never harm anyone. All Ajax has ever told him was how he loved his family and wished for them to be happy. But he had noticed how much his Fated had changed since his 3-day disappearance.

Diluc wished Ajax would open up to him just a bit more.

Oh, was all Diluc would reply.

but I’ve started to get better control over my vision!

Ajax had told Diluc he had gotten a vision a week after he came home from his “adventure.” It was a hydro vision.

Diluc had been beyond happy when he heard about it.

That’s great! Any plans on how you want to use it?

well I’ve been trying to shape the water into objects, but it’s harder than I thought :(

Oh that would be really cool! And I’m sure you’ll be able to get it after some more practice!

hehe thanks Luc! anyway, what are you doing today?

Same old, just training the soldiers and working on some paperwork.

wow, ever the perfect knight!

Diluc chuckled hollowly when he read that.

Well, I have to stay on top of it if I want to keep everyone safe.

I hope you’re not being too strict on yourself though, make sure to take breaks!

Haha, yes sir.

That reminded him, Diluc checked the time and saw that his break was over.

Speaking of, my break is over so I have to get back to work. I’ll write to you again at night.

okie! take care til then!

Will do, bye.

Diluc cleaned his quill and switched the silver ink to black ink. He pulled out the papers he had to read over and got to work.

Diluc finally looked away from the paperwork when he heard a knock at his door.

“Come in.” Diluc answered.

The door swung open to reveal Kaeya.

“Dear brother, please don’t tell me you were planning on spending the night here pouring over papers?” Kaeya asked.

Diluc rolled his eyes. “I was just about to put them up and get ready to leave.”

Kaeya snorted. It seemed he didn’t believe Diluc, not that he could blame him. There had been more than a few nights Diluc ended up staying at Headquarters overnight since he was unable to get rid of the demons that plagued him at night.

“Well, I thought we could head home together,” Kaeya said, walking into the office. He plopped down on one of the chairs in front of Diluc’s desk.

“Sure, just give me a moment to change,” Diluc said.

While Adelinde did not mind them arriving home in their dirty work clothes, Diluc did not like the feeling. He had gotten so engrossed in his work that he never washed up after the afternoon training, leaving him feeling unclean.

“Can’t you just do that at home?” Kaeya whined as Diluc started taking off his shirt.

Diluc paused and thought about it. It would make more sense if he just took a bath at home altogether.

He sighed and was about to let down his shirt when he felt the fabric being ripped from his hand. His shirt was pulled all the way up, showing the entirety of his back.

Diluc knew it was Kaeya, but the silence between them was unsettling.

What on earth was he… Diluc thought only to realize what exactly was on his back.

Diluc tried to spin around, out of reach from his brother, but Kaeya stayed firm.

“What in Teyvat… Where did you get these?” His brother’s voice was low.

Diluc always felt as though Kaeya became another person when he spoke like that. It wasn’t the voice he was used to.

“It’s nothing, let go.” Diluc tried to pull away again harder. He succeeded with getting Kaeya to release his shoulder but was unable to prevent the motion from helping Kaeya slip his shirt off, showcasing all the scars Diluc had received over the two months.

Kaeya’s eye widened before narrowing and making eye contact with Diluc.

“Are you seriously trying to play these off as nothing? Diluc, those are claw marks! They’re practically life threatening!” Kaeya said, his voice raising.

Diluc sighed, running a hand over his face.

“I said it was nothing because they’re not mine,” he said in a small voice.

He didn’t have to look at his brother to know Kaeya had connected the dots.

“Is… is this why you were acting off this whole time?” Kaeya asked, quieter now. “Is Ajax okay?”

“He’s fine!” Diluc said sharply. He met Kaeya’s gaze, trying to make them both believe his words.

“So, he’s recovering well then,” Kaeya said slowly.

“No. He’s fully recovered and doing perfectly fine.”

“These wounds don’t look like they would heal that fast. Where on Teyvat did he go to get these? They look ghastly,” Kaeya continued to scrutinize the scars.

Diluc ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know Kaeya! He won’t tell me! He won’t tell me where he went, what he was doing, or how he got back, and I just have to accept that!”

“Dilu-”

“Three days! He was gone for three days, and not a single word during that time. And then he comes back with all these scars, no explanation. But what am I supposed to do? Force him to talk? How? He won’t tell me anything! Of course he wouldn’t tell me. How could he trust me when I couldn’t do anything to help him while he was hurting!”

Diluc heaved, gasping for air. He felt the blood rushing in his cheeks, pounding in his ears. Diluc closed his eyes. He didn’t mean to say all that. He didn’t mean to tell Kaeya. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. Nobody was supposed to know he had slipped up, had failed his Fated.

He startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Diluc turned to see Kaeya and that goddamn all seeing eye and it’s stupid star.

“It’s not your fault, Diluc.” Kaeya turned Diluc so that both his hands were on Diluc’s shoulders.

“There was no way you could have done anything to help. You are in a whole different nation!” Kaeya said.

“You don’t understand,” Diluc said weakly, turning away, unable to hold his gaze.

“I get that you think you need to protect everyone, but you’re not an Archon Diluc, you’re just a human like the rest of us, doing what you can,” Kaeya said.

“No, you do not get it! He is my Fated; I should have been there for him!” Diluc shouted.

“I know, but-”

“No you don’t know, Kaeya! You don’t even have a Fated, how would you know how I felt when I saw that mine was being harmed hundreds and thousands of kilometers away from me!”

Diluc gasped when he realized what had spilled out of his mouth. He raised his head only to find his brother’s face filled with hurt.

“Kaeya, I didn’t mean…”

“No, you’re right Diluc. I don’t have a Fated, so I won’t ever know how you feel. Sorry, I just…” Kaeya’s face fell.

Diluc felt like he had been hit in the gut by a Mitachurl. He didn’t mean to say that to Kaeya. He knew how much Kaeya had wanted a Fated, just like Diluc.

He remembered the day they found out just like it was yesterday. Both Kaeya and him had been lazing around the house on a summer day after finishing their morning lessons. Diluc had just ended a conversation with Ajax, which Kaeya had joined in for.

Diluc had noticed how Kaeya was eyeing the silver ink and asked if Kaeya had wanted to try using it to contact his fated. Diluc mentally kicked himself for never asking prior. Seeing Kaeya’s face light up made Diluc know he had done his job right as a big brother.

Except that light quickly disappeared when the boys saw that no words showed up. The silver ink did not mark the copper skin. Even when Diluc had tried to write on his brother, nothing showed up. It was as if the ink was unable to mark Kaeya’s skin at all.

Diluc still remembers Kaeya’s face that day. Diluc had tried to give an excuse for why the ink wasn’t working, saying things like the ink had gone bad, or that the ink was too dry. But Kaeya had just smiled at him, as though he had already expected it to be an outcome.

They never brought up the topic again. And yet, Diluc just had to mention it now.

Diluc felt nauseous.

He weakly reached out, “Kaeya, I…”

But before he could even come up with a semblance of an apology, Kaeya quickly raised his head, sporting his happy-go-lucky smirk.

Diluc hated that face. It was a mask that Kaeya put on to block out the rest of the world, and what he wore when he spoke to outsiders or those he didn’t trust. Diluc didn’t like that he was considered an outsider too.

“It’s fine Diluc. I took it too far too, haha.” Kaeya tried to laugh it off.

Diluc clenched his teeth. What was he doing? He said was going to work harder, do better to protect the people he loved and keep them happy. And yet he managed to say some of the most harmful words to his very own brother.

“Anyways, we should head back now. Adelinde will start to get worried if we get back too late,” Kaeya said, starting to turn for the door.

Diluc stepped forward and grabbed Kaeya’s hand. He pulled him in, wrapping him in a hug.

Diluc doesn’t remember the last time they hugged, much less the last time they even got to spend some quality time.

He squeezed his arms around his brother, trying to transfer all the emotions, love and gratefulness, he felt. As well as the regret.

Diluc hid his face in Kaeya’s shoulder, hoping his brother would forgive him.

He felt Kaeya place a hand on his arm and squeeze it.

“It’s okay, Diluc,” Kaeya said. He spoke in a voice so gentle it made Diluc want to cry.

“I know you didn’t mean any harm. I should not have cornered you like that.”

Diluc shook his head, still buried in Kaeya’s shoulder.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough. Can’t very well have the Cavalry Captain crying at Headquarters now can we?” Kaeya chuckled.

“Who said I was crying,” Diluc mumbled.

He took in a breath before letting go and stepping back. Diluc rubbed a hand on his face for good measure. When he looked back up, he saw Kaeya with his hand extended. Diluc clasped it and they both squeezed.

“All good?” Kaeya asked.

“All good,” Diluc responded.

Kaeya nodded, “Good then, lets head out. I’m starving.” He laughed as he exited the office.

Diluc shook his head with a small smile on his face. He picked up the shirt Kaeya had dropped and quickly slipped it back on. He would just wash up at home.

The two brothers walked back, chatting about small things, as though nothing had disturbed their peace.

That night, Diluc and Ajax talked some more. Diluc hoped that one day Ajax would finally open up about what had happened during those three days. But all he could do was wait. So instead, he reveled in the fact that he could write to his Fated and receive a response immediately.

Ajax had finished describing the story he and his siblings had come up with to act out. Diluc was glad his Fated was still getting along with his family.

Diluc hesitated before finally writing down what he had been wanting to ask.

Do you still want to be an adventurer? Are you planning on going on another adventure?

Diluc waited with bated breath.

yes… and no. I don’t know

? Yes you want to still be an adventurer?

yeah, but I don’t think my parents like the idea too much after what happened last time

Oh, that makes sense I guess.

but I know that I don’t want to be a fisherman. I don’t think I could sit in one place everyday and just fish.

like I like ice fishing but not enough to do it for a living, you know

I get it. You want to do something more.

yeah! I’ve gotten stronger, especially now that I have my vision! and I’ve been training with it so that I can protect myself so I can go travel by myself now, but my parents don’t agree with that

Diluc felt his heart stop when he read what Ajax had written.

While he wanted to support his Fated, he could never forget how he felt when he lost contact with Ajax and saw all the scars appear. And the thought of that happening again was terrifying.

Maybe your parents are right. You are still young so you should probably wait a little longer before going out again.

you’re young too, but you still go out and fight hilichurls and monsters all the time! I also need to get stronger so that I can protect you

While I appreciate your concern, I was also trained for a long time and took a test before being able to go out and fight. Is there a place you could train at first?

actually, papa and mama were talking about sending me to join the fatui, oh they are like the knights for our nation! they are super-duper cool and powerful

Diluc remembers reading about the Fatui. They had been expanding their influence into other nations too from what he saw. If he remembers correctly, they were supposed to come to Mondstadt to set up some relations. He would have to go over those again.

That sounds like a good idea. You would get to travel and train to get stronger. Just make sure you are careful.

Diluc couldn’t help but include some nagging out of concern.

haha yes sir! I will let you know what happens!

It had gotten late as they continued to talk, so they both bid each other good night and went to bed.

A few days later, Diluc had noticed a new scar along his midriff when he was washing up. He waited to bring it up later that night during their usual evening chats because Diluc knew Ajax could hold his ground better and wasn’t worried about him being too hurt. And it seemed like Ajax healed faster now that he had gotten a hydro vision, which helped Diluc feel slightly better.

It had gotten more difficult to tell if there was a new scar or if Diluc had just gotten it mixed up with an old scar. However, Diluc had committed all the scars Ajax received during his disappearance to memory since he had religiously gone over them when checking to see if his Fated was alive. This meant Diluc was still able to notice if a new scar appeared, especially in areas where there weren’t as many marks.

Thankfully, the arms weren’t too scarred, so it was still relatively easy to write to each other. It also helped that the scars tended to be pinker which contrasted with the silver ink.

Are you doing okay? I was a new scar on my left side, Diluc wrote.

After a few minutes, he also added, Just wanted to check in.

He didn’t want Ajax to feel as though Diluc was trying to blame him.

hey, sorry, I got into a bit of a scuffle again. I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t notice

No need to be sorry, just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Diluc was really curious about how ‘a bit of a scuffle’ resulted in a permanent scar. He debated on whether or not he should ask, and ultimately decided he deserved some sort of answer since he was also carrying the scar.

Must have been a serious scuffle if you got a scar out of it. Can you tell me what happened?

Diluc had to wait a few minutes before Ajax responded.

I’m really sorry. I tried to be better about my temper but ever since I got back, it’s like something in me just wants to fight.

It’s been getting harder and harder to hold back, and today just happened to be a tipping point I guess.

Diluc thought about what to write back when another message appeared.

I really didn’t want to add more scars to you so I tried really hard to get it to heal without scarring but I guess it scarred because I healed it too fast ugh

Diluc felt his stomach drop. Why hadn’t he thought about it before? All he can see are the scars that healed, not the bruises, broken bones, or the pain his Fated was going through. He used to think that was a blessing since he was always the reason for the scars, but now that it was his Fated who was in pain, Diluc could barely think straight.

It’s fine, really. Besides, if anything I should be apologizing for giving you so many scars early on, Diluc responded.

I’m just glad you are okay :)

I’ll try to do better, but honestly I don’t know Diluc…

Hey, it’s okay. Maybe you can try some calming techniques?

I’ve tried some, mama helped me try some stuff to help, but it didn’t.

It doesn’t seem to be getting better. I just always feel like I need to go out and fight something.

I have all this energy in me and can barely hold still

I think something’s changed in me.

Diluc didn’t know how to comfort his Fated. What must it feel like to always need to fight? To be filled with that type of energy?

Are you angry at something?

No! I’m not, in fact when I do give in and fight, it’s like I get a rush and keep wanting the fight to continue

mama and papa looked really scared when they saw me like that, so I tried to stop it, but I can’t

It gets worse when I don’t give in

I almost hurt Tonia once because I was so riled up

I felt so bad

I don’t know what to do, Luc

I think something changed in me during those three months

Diluc could barely focus with all the information he was getting. It was like a dam broke and all the missing information he had been asking for was overflowing.

Wait, three months?

Ajax, you were gone for three days, what do you mean three months?

oh did I say months? haha I meant days sorry, I miswrote :)

Something told Diluc that Ajax was lying, but he decided not to pursue that line of questioning since there was something more important he needed to focus on.

Well maybe you can channel that energy into something productive? I could try to go over some basic training sets we teach the knights

would that be okay? I’m not from Mond don’t you think it would be bad for me to learn?

It’s just basic strength training, nothing that’s super important or secret.

hmm… yeah maybe that’d help

Okay! Want me to write you the steps now? Diluc asked, excited that he would be able to help his Fated.

now might not be the best time, I’m traveling with my papa, but I’ll let you know when I’m ready!

Okay, I hope your trip with your Father is fun!

thanks! ♡

The next night Ajax wrote to Diluc first.

I’m joining the Fatui, so you won’t need to tell me any of the knights training.

Oh, okay. I didn’t realize you were going to join them so early. I know you had mentioned them earlier…

yeah I didn’t either, but I think my papa thought it would be better for me to join them than cause more trouble at home

Well, I hope you like it and that it helps!

Diluc tried to keep a positive attitude since it seemed like the decision to join was abrupt and one that Ajax didn’t have much say in.

He could only hope his Fated ended up liking it.

thanks. I gotta go now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to write to you as often now, so I wanted to let you know before hand so you don’t worry

Thanks for telling me, do your best and stay safe! I’m always cheering you on!

♡♡♡, was all Diluc got in response.

He laughed while running his fingers over the hearts. His Fated could be so cute sometimes.

Diluc had conflicting feelings on the matter, especially since they wouldn’t be able to contact each other as much, but he decided to wait and trust his Fated.

The morning after, Diluc looked up what information the Knights had on the Fatui. There was no harm in learning more about the organization his Fated had joined.

Surprisingly, there wasn’t that much to read. There hadn’t been much contact between the Fatui and the Knights of Favonius, so all Diluc had access to were some rumors and the little interactions the organizations had previously. That said, the interactions were two measly meetings on some trade agreements between the nations. Nothing that gave too much information.

Diluc sighed at his unsuccessful hunt for knowledge. He tried to wrack his brains for any other place he could get some details.

Diluc snapped his fingers. His father was currently home, and Diluc remembered that there was mention of talks between Snezhnaya and Mondstadt for trading the goods made by Dawn Winery.

That’s it! He could ask his father for more information!

Now that he had settled that issue, Diluc got to work, wanting to finish everything in time to go home early.

Thankfully, his work had gone smoothly, and Diluc was able to leave on time. He pretended not to notice the surprised looks he got from his subordinates when he left before the sun went down.

He quickly went to wash up before walking over to his father’s study. He knocked three times and waited for an answer.

“Come in,” his father said.

Diluc opened the door to see his father sitting at his desk looking over a bunch of papers.

“Are you busy, Father? Is it alright if I came in to ask a few questions?” Diluc asked. His father looked busy, so he didn’t want to disturb him.

His father looked up from the papers and set them down.

“No, that is all right. Come in Diluc. I was just briefly looking over some last minute things.” His father took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes.

“Should I ask Adelinde to make you something to drink?” Diluc asked.

“No, it is almost time for dinner. I can wait until then. Thank you for offering, son,” His father replied.

“Of course, father.”

“So, what is it that you wanted to ask?”

Diluc sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “I remember you mentioning that you were trying to open trade with Snezhnaya for the winery, is that still true?”

Diluc did not know much about the winery since he was busy with the knights. But he did hear tidbits from his father and Elzer.

“Yes, that is correct. I was actually just looking over some stuff about that. We were supposed to enter the nation last year, but there were some new regulations introduced which we had not been prepared for, so we had to push back our date of entry. Our aim is to send some of our stock later this year to test the waters.” His father explained.

Diluc nodded. “So that means you have some intelligence on the nation and its major organizations right?”

“Yes, that would be correct. But where are you going with this Diluc?” His father raised an eyebrow at his questioning.

“Well, actually, Ajax recently joined the Fatui, so I wanted to get some more information on them to make sure he would be okay.”

Diluc ended up telling his father the truth. He would have found out eventually anyways, so there was no reason to hide it.

“I see. The Fatui…” His father didn’t say anything for a while, seeming to be lost in thought.

“Father?” Diluc called his father’s attention back.

“Actually, there is not much I can truly tell you about their organization. Like any other nation, their intel on their military is tightly regulated. I only have superficial details to offer you.”

“That’s fine! I just wanted something to give me some ease of mind.” Diluc ended up speaking louder than he had anticipated.

He cleared his throat before proceeding, “What do we know about them?”

“Officially they are known to be a delegation of diplomats representing Snezhnaya. However,” His father looked at him and sighed softly.

“However?”

“There are a few unsavory rumors floating around about the group, particularly about their behavior in making those diplomatic contacts. Their militant force is also said to be one of the strongest in the land, and not to be trifled with. That is partly the reason we had to delay our distribution in their nation.”

“So then, that means they are not good people? But then what should Ajax do?” Diluc couldn’t help but worry for his Fated.

“Now Diluc, that intel is simply from the perspective of a citizen of Mondstadt. The citizens of Snezhnaya will surely feel differently towards their own soldiers. Is that not how it is with our Knights?”

“But no one is afraid of our Knights. In fact, many claim that the Knights of Favonius are some of the most friendly people, even in other nations!” Diluc couldn’t help but stick up for his fellow knights.

“Well, I suppose that is true,” his father laughed good-naturedly. When his father saw his expression, he stood up and walked over to Diluc.

Diluc shut his eyes as his father ruffled his hair.

“Do not worry too much. I am sure Ajax will be fine. He seems like a smart and strong boy. Do you not believe in him?”

“Of course I do! I just… worry is all,” Diluc said softly.

His father laughed again and said something about young love before walking out of the office leaving Diluc by his lonesome.

Diluc sat there a little longer, pulling up his sleeve to gaze at the three hearts still on his arm. He was glad the ink had lasted somewhat, even though the hearts were a bit faded. The good thing was, no scars had appeared all day.

That was a good sign, Diluc told himself.

He would just have to believe in Ajax like his father said and wait for his Fated to tell him how it went.

And with that issue settled in his mind, he got up and followed his father down to the dining room for dinner.

[someplayfuldreams]

10 World-Building Aspects You Probably Overlooked

When crafting a fictional world, it's easy to focus on the big picture—epic battles, grand landscapes, and memorable characters. However, it’s also important to flesh out your world-building to create a ‘real’ world. Some aspects to consider when world-building are: 

Local Cuisine

Consider the types of food your characters eat and how it reflects their culture, geography, and economy. Unique dishes can reveal societal values and local ingredients.

Currency & Trade

Explore the forms of currency used and the trade systems in place. This can include bartering, precious metals, or unique items as currency, influencing economic interactions.

Timekeeping Practices

Different cultures may have their own methods for measuring time, whether it's a unique calendar system, seasons, or celestial events, affecting daily life and traditions.

Cultural Taboos

Consider the unspoken rules and taboos that govern behavior in your world. These can drive conflict and character motivations, adding depth to societal interactions.

Local Flora and Fauna

Unique plants and animals can shape the environment and influence the culture, whether through medicine, food sources, or as part of local mythology.

Rituals and Festivals

Incorporate unique rituals or festivals that celebrate historical events, seasonal changes, or important life milestones, providing insight into cultural values and traditions.

Language Nuances

Explore dialects, slang, or even the use of sign language that reflects the culture and social dynamics, enriching dialogue and interactions between characters.

Architecture and Housing Styles

The design and materials of buildings can reflect climate, resources, and cultural values. Unique architectural features can tell a story about the society that built them.

Social Hierarchies and Classes

Examine how social structures affect character relationships and interactions. Class distinctions can influence everything from daily life to political power.

Environmental Impact

Consider how the natural environment shapes societal behaviours, resource usage, and conflicts. Climate and geography can drive migration patterns and societal development.

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors! Instagram Tiktok

[someplayfuldreams]

Any advice for actuly getting the motivation up to write?

Firing Up Writing Motivation

Hey there, thanks for the question ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) Here are some things that I have tried:

Reading books, esp in the genre you're writing.

Playing around with character/setting aesthetics to warm up before you start punching out the words

Getting a writing partner to keep each other accountable.

Writing at a specific place & time. I know this is more difficult than said, but making a habit of writing is important. As Stephen King said, you need to tell your Muse when and where for them to come find you.

Declaring to friends/family your writing goals.

Taking a writing course in university/college. When my GPA is on the stake, I tend to get more motivated, haha...

Switching between multiple stories. This can backfire, but I tend to do better when I'm able to "run away" to another story when I get utterly stuck on one.

Some other suggestions:

Check whether you have made enough notes to actually sit down and write. I lean more towards a planner than a panster - if I don't have a satisfying ending in mind, I find it difficult to push through the middle.

Watching writing/reading vlogs. Again, beware of sitting hours on YouTube, but watching others reaching their writing goals motivates me to do better.

Taking part in short, simple writing contests. I'm a Wattpad girlie, and sometimes I find small writing competition hosted by the Ambassador profiles just to take a little breather.

and lastly... just brute-forcing yourself in front of your monitor, haha.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

💎If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! Also, join my Tumblr writing community for some more fun.

💎Before you ask, check out my masterpost part 1 and part 2 

[someplayfuldreams]

me: this time i’m writing for fun

also me: agonizes over every word like my life depends on it

[someplayfuldreams]

Character Fears

abandonment / aging / betrayal / blood / change / clowns / commitment / confrontation / crowds / death / disease / embarrassment / failure / heights / insects / intimacy / isolation / judgment / loneliness / loss / making mistakes / pain / poverty / public speaking / rejection / responsibility / ridicule / snakes / spiders / the dark / the unknown / vulnerability / war / water / weakness / work

[someplayfuldreams]

speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.

the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.

you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.

[someplayfuldreams]

to the beautiful writers that might see this, ao3 is currently being scrapped by an AI company called RIVD. this isn't your usual AI text scrapping, they are specifically targeting ao3 to feed their own AI / "tech-orientes" fanfiction site

their "takedown form" demands that you give them your full legal name and address. they do not say what they're doing with your personal details. there's no proof that this form works

until ao3 comes out with a proper statement or manages to lock their scrapped, just lock your fics for registered users

[someplayfuldreams]

How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part IV

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[someplayfuldreams]

one time a professor asked me if i’d ever wanted to write anything “more important” than romance. and i said no. i was put on this earth to write about sad people kissing. and if another writer ever came up to me and said they wanted to write 400 pages containing nothing but a character baking a single loaf of bread each day, then i would tell them to do that. people don't write something because it's important. they write about something and that is what makes it important

[someplayfuldreams]

Writing Description Notes:

Updated 14th June 2024 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes

Facial Expressions

Masking Emotions

Smiles/Smirks/Grins

Eye Contact/Eye Movements

Blushing

Voice/Tone

Body Language/Idle Movement

Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted

Silence

Memories

Happy/Content/Comforted

Love/Romance

Sadness/Crying/Hurt

Confidence/Determination/Hopeful

Surprised/Shocked

Guilt/Regret

Disgusted/Jealous

Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried

Anger/Rage

Laughter

Confused

Speechless/Tongue Tied

Fear/Terrified

Mental Pain

Physical Pain

Tired/Drowsy/Exhausted

[someplayfuldreams]

How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part IV

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[someplayfuldreams]

How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part IV

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[someplayfuldreams]

The symbolism of flowers

Flowers have a long history of symbolism that you can incorporate into your writing to give subtext.

Symbolism varies between cultures and customs, and these particular examples come from Victorian Era Britain. You'll find examples of this symbolism in many well-known novels of the era!

Amaryllis: Pride

Black-eyed Susan: Justice

Bluebell: Humility

Calla Lily: Beauty

Pink Camellia: Longing

Carnations: Female love

Yellow Carnation: Rejection

Clematis: Mental beauty

Columbine: Foolishness

Cyclamen: Resignation

Daffodil: Unrivalled love

Daisy: Innocence, loyalty

Forget-me-not: True love

Gardenia: Secret love

Geranium: Folly, stupidity

Gladiolus: Integrity, strength

Hibiscus: Delicate beauty

Honeysuckle: Bonds of love

Blue Hyacinth: Constancy

Hydrangea: Frigid, heartless

Iris: Faith, trust, wisdom

White Jasmine: Amiability

Lavender: Distrust

Lilac: Joy of youth

White Lily: Purity

Orange Lily: Hatred

Tiger Lily: Wealth, pride

Lily-of-the-valley: Sweetness, humility

Lotus: Enlightenment, rebirth

Magnolia: Nobility

Marigold: Grief, jealousy

Morning Glory: Affection

Nasturtium: Patriotism, conquest

Pansy: Thoughtfulness

Peony: Bashfulness, shame

Poppy: Consolation

Red Rose: Love

Yellow Rose: Jealously, infidelity

Snapdragon: Deception, grace

Sunflower: Adoration

Sweet Willian: Gallantry

Red Tulip: Passion

Violet: Watchfulness, modesty

Yarrow: Everlasting love

Zinnia: Absent, affection

[someplayfuldreams]

hidden shadow

pairing: rafayel x mc

genre: fluff

warnings: none

word count: 2.6k

summary: what i imagined while listening to the secret times "hidden shadow"

A/N: the majority of Rafayel's lines are straight from the audio, which is not my own writing, but everything else is from my delusional mind; this man and his secret times has me in a chokehold, so i had to write this out

also on ao3 under the user playfuldreams

enjoy!~

The loud sound of blades clashing against each other reverberated through the air. As soon as you block his swing, you jump back to prepare for the next blow. You adjust your grip on the handle, hoping it wouldn’t slip out due to the sweat. 

Before you can finish catching your breath, Rafayel rushes forward, swinging his dagger up diagonally. 

Your body tenses. Thankfully, your reflexes kick in time and you are able bring up your dagger to block the attack. But since you couldn’t get into the proper position, the force of the slash pushes you off balance on the sand and end up falling on your butt. 

“Ah..,” you let out a soft yelp before looking up to see a dagger pointing at you. You glance back at the holder, making eye contact with burning purple eyes. 

He spins the dagger, sheathing it, then holds out his hand. 

“Let’s stop here for today,” He says. “A sandstorm approaches. We must return to our tent.”

You take his hand and get up. Handing him your dagger, you dust the sand off your pants and hands.

We start walking to the tent we had set up prior to the training session. Only the sound of sand shuffling beneath is heard, accompanying your thoughts about your bodyguard’s hidden past.

You look up to see him gazing over the horizon clearly in deep thought. 

Your curiosity gets the better of you, and you speak up.

“I thought a skilled guard like you was invincible. Are you saying a sandstorm is enough to beat you?” You ask, teasingly.

“Huh? I’m not completely unaffected by the harsh environment” Rafayel responds.

Just as you are about to say another sassy remark, you watch as he walks closer to you. He stops right in front of you, leaning close enough you can see the pink highlights in his eyes. 

“But a competent assassin can still fight despite the sand,” he whispers.

You blink a few times before looking down, unable to hold his strong gaze any longer. He steps back and you can almost see the smirk on his face. You clench your fists. If you had just kept eye contact a little longer, you would be the one smirking not him. 

You give a little huff, stomping forward. 

You feel Rafayel’s gaze on you, but you refuse to give in and turn around. After a few more steps, Rafayel grabs your wrist, pulling you to a stop. 

He walks around to stand in front of you. This time you hold your head high, meeting his gaze straight on. 

He tilts his head, giving a sly smile.

“Would Your Highness like to try? With your determination, let’s do it,” Rafayel proposes. 

He unties one of the black ribbons tied to his arm, pulling it taut. As he walks closer, your heart skips a beat and feel yourself warm.

“Close your eyes and hold still,” He says softly.

You obediently listen to him. With your eyes now closed, your nerves are amplified.

His hot breath sweeps over your ears causing you to shiver. You hear him chuckle lightly. You bit your lip and resist the impulse of swinging at him.

You flinch when you feel something close to your face. 

“It’s just the ribbon. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.” Rafayel assures you.

The smooth silk is cool over your heated skin. It slides over your eyelids and cheekbones before stopping in what seems to be the right place.

He carefully ties the ends behind your head, making sure not to get your hair in the knot.

Even after the ribbon is tied, you can still sense his warmth in front of you

“Now, Your Highness’s eyes are covered. How is it?” He asks. 

With your eyes blindfolded, you are unable to read Rafayel’s face. You shift your weight and feel a little startled when the ground feels more unsteady than usual. 

“It’s fine when I’m standing still, but I don’t know if I can move around like this. What if I..”

“Stay calm.” You hear him say. 

Warm hands slowly hold your shoulders, comforting you.

“When sight cannot be relied on, the other senses must be utilized.” Rafayel advises.

He runs his hands down your arms, taking your hands in his. He gives a small squeeze before letting go.

You hear the sand shuffling in front of you and no longer sense Rafayel. He must have stepped away from you. You begin to feel more uncertain now that Rafayel isn’t there to support you.

“Try and catch me,” Rafayel says. And then, you hear nothing. 

You stand in place, hesitating. How are you supposed to find him blindfolded?

Taking a deep breathe, you use your other senses like he told you to.

You feel the warm breeze along with the small pinpricks of occasional sand grains flying over you. The only sounds you can hear are those of sand swirling on the wind. Not knowing where to even go, you start walking in a random direction.

It takes a lot more concentration to walk on sand blindfolded. It felt like you would fall with one wrong step.

A noise to your right catches your attention. You change your direction towards it. After a few more careful steps, you hear more sand moving to your left. You spin around towards the new sound.

Then all of a sudden, there’s the sound of footsteps behind you. 

You quickly turn around, trying to focus on pinpointing the exact location.

You begin to get frustrated, but take another breath to calm yourself. 

You’re the one who asked Rafayel to train you so you could protect yourself better. You would follow through with it.

More footsteps are heard all over the place. Focusing in, you decide to take a leap of faith and begin confidently walking straight towards the last sound you heard, reaching your hands out to hopefully feel the rough cotton of Rafayel’s tunic. 

After about 10 steps, the sounds disappear again, but this time you catch a light scent of the sea breeze that reminds you of home. You immediately turn around, swinging your arms in front of you.

Your hands hit something solid, causing you to lose your balance. You frantically move your hands trying to grab onto something to stabilize you. 

You feel strong arms come around you as your hands grip the fabric of his shirt.

Rafayel moves his arm over your head as you both tumble to the ground, rolling twice down the dune. You feel yourself land on top of him, raising your head, wishing you could see if he was okay.

“Not bad… But it was only a matter of luck.” You hear him say below you.

You let out a sigh. Does he really have to say it like that?

You feel his abdominal muscles tense as he sits up. You shakily get off him, kneeling on the sand. Being unable to see and trying to be stable on shifting sand was not easy.

You feel his rough hand take yours as he helps you stand up. He dusts off the sand on your back as you shake your head, trying to get the sand out of your hair. 

He laughs, clearly entertained at the sight. 

“Instead of laughing, you could lend a hand,” you say. 

“Apologies Your Highness, allow me to assist,” he says, before gently running his fingers through your hair, ridding it of any leftover sand.

“Alright, it’s gotten late. We should head inside now.” Rafayel says.

You expect him to untie the blindfold, but instead, you feel his hand entwine with yours.

“Are you not going to remove the ribbon?” you ask. 

He chuckles, before saying, “Trust me, Your Highness. I will get you back safe and sound.”

Hand in hand, he leads you the rest of the way.

You hear the tent flap open as he leads you in. He lets go of your hand, and you hear what you suppose is him tying the entrance closed. You just stand in place, not wanting to trip over anything while blindfolded. You don’t remember if you both managed to clean up the place before going out to train.

Footsteps come up from behind you. You tense, unsure what would happen next. 

Rafayel just takes your hand again, leading you further in the tent. 

“Sit down,” he says. “Don’t remove the blindfold just yet,” he adds for good measure.

You let him guide you to sit on the bed. He lightly presses on your shoulder, telling you to move further back. The sheets ruffle from the movement. 

You feel the bed dip down lower and assume Rafayel sat on it as well. Hearing the sheets rustle, you can tell Rafayel is getting closer. The movement stops once you feel his knee touch your thigh.

You suddenly feel his breath grazing your lips. Your caught between your desire to move forward to get a taste or backward to let yourself think more clearly. But before you can make your decision, you hear him speak.

“Even in darkness, one must be able to pinpoint an enemy’s vital points with ease,” Rafayel says.

He grabs your hand and places something cold in it. You grip the object. It’s smooth and relatively light. It seems the lesson was going to continue.

“With a weapon, only some strength is needed to wound the stomach.” 

He must have handed you a dagger. Not knowing if it was sheathed or not, you carefully bring the hand with the weapon back to your side. Shifting your position so that you were kneeling before him, you hesitantly bring your other hand to lay over his body. Your breath catches in your throat as you feel his muscles ripple beneath your hand. 

You have a fleeting thought of regret that there was fabric between your hand and his skin. 

He said to wound the stomach, but you aren’t sure what part of him you’re touching. 

“The chest?” Rafayel kindly gives you an answer.

You move your hand side to side trying to get your bearings. His chest was so wide you couldn’t tell if you were on the side or in the middle of it.

You hear him gasp and feel his muscles tense as you run your hands over a bump on his chest.

“Not there. Your Highness needs to go lower. It will be a fatal blow if you stab there.”

You reflexively tighten your grip, memories of Rafayel bleeding from his chest flooding your head.

“It ensures one’s victory.” He continues.

His warm hand covers yours, giving it a light squeeze before letting go, as if telling you to continue.

You slowly move your hand up, feeling the border of his tunic turn into smooth skin. 

You hear him inhale deeply when your skins connect. 

As if mesmerized, you forget the goal of the lesson and continue moving your hand up. Over his shoulders, his collarbone, and ending up over his adam’s apple. 

You lightly feel his pulse beating beneath your hand. Telling you he is alive. No longer stuck between life and death due to your careless mistake. You mindlessly press your fingers further into his skin, hoping to feel his pulse more clearly.

“The throat is also a vulnerable area.”

His voice startles you. Realizing you might have put too much force in your grip, you loosen your hand but keep it hovering over his skin. 

“Scared?” He asks.

You’re unable to say anything back. You try to fight any conjured up images of him being hurt.

Just as you try to think of something to distract yourself, you feel his hand cover yours once more.

“Never mind, Your Highness’s hand is slightly cold.” He says worryingly. He gently rubs his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Try to do what I just said.”

You let out a small breath, banishing the unnecessary thoughts. What were you supposed to find again? Right, the stomach.

You move your hand downward, going back over the rough fabric. 

You hear him exhale right by your ear as you slide your hand further down. His muscles tense and untense, creating a rhythm with his breathes, following the trail of your gliding hand. 

You get to a point where you can feel light grooves partitioning several muscles. You stop your hand, hesitating on your next move.

“It’s the correct spot, but Your Highness’s hand still hasn’t moved,” Rafayel says.

“An assassin wouldn’t be this slow.” He teases.

You rolled your eyes underneath the blindfolded. You adjust your grip on the dagger and move the hand a bit closer. But you still hesitate to make the final move. 

Instead of bringing the dagger up, you move the hand on him, trying to find the best spot. However, you get lost in the feeling of his abdomen expanding with each breath. 

Rafayel waits patiently and quietly, which is a first for him.

“Carelessness leads to an assassin’s death,” Rafayel says.

You clearly spoke too soon.

If that’s how he was going to play it, you decide to tease him back. 

You move your hand to the side slowly. You feel the heat from his abdomen transfer to your palm. As you keep moving to the left, you start to feel a curve, stopping once your palm is at his hip. 

“No, that is not it either,” He says, unaware of your purpose.

You give a coquettish squeeze, reveling in the movement of the muscles beneath. 

Rafayel sighs loudly. You tense when you feel something tickle your ear. It’s almost feathery. His breathes are more clear as he has gotten closer to you. 

You decide to get more bold and slide your hand back down 

He gasps in your ear. Your desire to see more of his reactions builds your confidence, but before you can go any further, your playful touch is halted.

“Um… stop right there.” Rafayel grabs your hand tightly.

He chuckles, breathless.

“As a rookie, Your Highness’s courage is commendable.”

You can’t help but smirk at his remark.

“Yet does a simple blindfold excuse a person’s brazenness?” Rafayel says, his voice getting closer with every word, until he’s speaking right into your ear.

Startled, you move back to sit on the balls of your feet with your knees still on the bed. 

“Your Highness didn’t do it on purpose?” he asks teasingly, still holding your hand in place. 

“Of course not. All I did was listen to my teacher’s instructions,” you say innocently.

He lightly huffed in amusement.

“Your Highness’s acting is lackluster when it comes to being clueless,” Rafayel says.

He finally lets go of your hand allowing you to sit more comfortably.

You hear some shuffling on the bed, but can’t tell what Rafayel was doing. 

You flinch when you suddenly feel a touch on your other hand. The dagger is taken away from you. He probably is putting it away. 

You guess the “lesson” is over. But just when you’re about to ask for him to remove the blindfold, you hear him speak.

“It’s fine,” he says.

You tilt your head towards his voice. A hand comes up to your shoulder and before you realize what’s going on, you feel your back coming into contact with the bed. 

The sheets rustle around you and you feel a presence over you. 

“I forgot to mention. A good assassin must be able to counterattack.” Rafayel says laughing.

Shocked, you lie there for a second processing what just happened. 

Then you start fighting back.

“Rafayel, you!”

You raise your hands and they immediately make contact with Rafayel’s chest. You put pressure on him hoping to take control of the situation.

He laughs as your weak attempts to push him off. Instead of getting off, he draws even closer.

“Is Your Highness prepared for the next lesson?” He whispers in your ear.

You swallow at his words, finding yourself heating up at the thought of what was to come next.

[someplayfuldreams]

hii!! any tips on how to write a flashback?

Tips for Writing Flashbacks

Flashbacks are sudden memory-based interludes that interrupt the main narrative in order to transport the reader to a moment in a character's past. These interludes can be brief, mere seconds out of the character's life where they're momentarily reliving the past event, or they can be longer, playing out in a full or partial scene.

Regardless of whether it's a quick flashback or a longer one, it's a good idea to have an external trigger that causes the flashback to happen. For example, it could be a sound, smell, visual, hearing a name, or anything else that triggers the sudden and very realistic reliving of the memory.

If you're writing a longer flashback, you may want to use a tense shift to transition between the present moment and the flashback. If your story is being told in present tense, you may want to shift to past tense for the flashback. If your story is being told in past tense, you may want to do a few lines of past-perfect to transition into the flashback, then you can switch back to past tense. This creates a clear boundary between the past tense of the main narrative and the past tense of the flashback.

When it's time to come out of the flashback again, whether it's a long one or short one, use an anchor in the present to pull them back. It could be someone they're with saying, "Are you listening?" Or someone touching their shoulder to make sure they're okay. It could be a text coming in on their phone, or the school bell ringing. This creates a nice abrupt ending to the flashback that pulls the character back into their present moment.

Since flashbacks do interrupt the flow of the main narrative, it can be jarring to the reader if you use them too frequently. That said, it's a good idea not to overuse them unless they're a necessary device in your story and you can find a less jarring way to do them.

Last but not least, flashbacks can have all sorts of purposes. They can tell the reader something they need to know about back story. They can help the reader understand a character's internal conflict and/or the choices they make. They can also help a reader connect with a character or situation who isn't part of the present timeline. However, you always want to make sure there's not a better way to deliver that information. For example, let's say your character was in the military briefly but was honorably discharged due to a medical obstacle. And let's say your character is getting to know a knew friend and their military time comes up. You might be tempted to do a flashback to the discovery of the medical obstacle and the honorable discharge, but is that really necessary? If that moment doesn't play a major role in the character's internal conflict or something that's going to happen, it might make more sense for them to just tell the new friend about it rather than put it into a flashback. On the other hand, let's say you have a character who had a really frightening experience as a child, and although they keep that experience buried deep, it's fundamental to who they are now and is part of the internal conflict you're exploring. That would be a situation when occasional flashbacks to that event--when relevant--might make sense.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[someplayfuldreams]

mark me with your words - ch.9

pairing: diluc x childe

genre: angst & fluff/ au-soulmate

warnings: none

word count: 3.5k

summary: 

Those eyes seemed to lose their shine as the smile widened into something sinister splattered with red.

No, that couldn’t be Ajax. Surely not.

Diluc closed his eyes and allowed himself to be embraced by the darkness, hoping to dream of his sweet angelic smiling Fated.

A/N: sorry for the lack of updating, life was crazy, but im back to writing

also on ao3 under the user playfuldreams

ch.1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9

enjoy!~

Diluc completed his training session for the day and walked to the barracks to clean up.

After sending his encouragement to Ajax, Diluc hadn’t gotten a response in return. Diluc simply brushed it off as Ajax not having time as he was busy adventuring.

In the bathroom, Diluc quickly removed his top only to stiffen at the sight of his bare chest. What used to be silky smooth skin was now painted with silver scars.

Diluc’s heart pounded as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. He felt no pain, nor did he remember ever fighting a battle where he received these scars. Feeling his anxiety start to peak as his mind wandered to where these scars could have come from, or rather who, Diluc closed his eyes and focused on his breath to keep his calm.

However, that did little to settle his worry as three new scars had already appeared on his arms when he opened his eyes.

Diluc was now sure of the reason for all these sudden markings. His Fated. Ajax.

Now that his mind had accepted the reason, Diluc panicked. Ajax was supposed to be going on an innocent adventure around his village. There is no reason for him to be in any kind of danger that would cause him to receive this amount of scars, especially this fast.

Diluc paced along the bathroom tiles trying to come up with an explanation. It did not make sense. Nothing did.

He stopped and stared at the mirror, eyes tracing a particularly bad scar that looked like claw marks raking down his right shoulder to his abdomen. His stomach churned as his mind conjured up unsavory images of a lone teen clutching his shoulder, turning the white snow around him red. A hand outstretched, calling for help, calling his name…

Diluc clamped a hand over his mouth as he felt his breakfast quickly rise up.

A knock came from the bathroom door.

“Captain?” Diluc heard his subordinate call out. “Is everything alright? You’ve been in there for a while.”

Diluc forced himself to swallow. His throat felt like sandpaper. He took a couple more breaths before clearing his throat and answering.

“I am fine. I will be out in a minute.” He said.

“Understood, sir.”

Diluc waited til the sound of footsteps faded before removing the rest of his clothing and inspecting where the other scars were. Using the mirror to check his back, Diluc concluded his findings. New markings had shown up practically all over his body, all of which were scars from wounds and not a single was a message from Ajax.

Before his mind went off the far end, Diluc reached for the bucket of water and dumped it over his head. The water had cooled while he had been stressing, so the coldness helped bring back some of his rationale.

He dried off as quickly as possible before dressing in some fresh clothes. Exiting the bathroom, Diluc headed to his office. He made sure to keep his usual calm demeanor as he walked calmly to his office. There was no need to alert anyone of the mental breakdown occurring currently inside his head.

Diluc nodded his head as two knights walked by and saluted him. He opened his door and quietly closed it. Keeping his hand on the handle, he took in a breath before running to his desk. He hastily opened his drawer and grabbed the ink and quill.

Ajax, where are you? What happened?

Every second that passed seemed like an eternity. No response came.

Are you okay?

Diluc tried again. Still nothing.

Please, just send a sign that you’re okay

Ajax, please.

No matter what he wrote, he never got an answer.

Diluc rationalized that Ajax was probably somewhere where he didn’t have access to any ink and couldn’t write to him. However, instead of calming him down, that thought only caused him to become more anxious. Where could he possibly be that he couldn’t respond to Diluc?

Diluc ruffled his hair in frustration.

A knock at his door called his attention.

“Diluc?” Kaeya’s voice came through the door. When Diluc didn’t answer immediately, Kaeya followed up, “I’m coming in.”

“I wanted to ask about the-,” Kaeya stopped mid sentence when he took in his brother’s face. “What’s wrong? Why do you look like you drank spoiled grape juice?”

Diluc had hastily put away the ink and quill, trying to rid any evidence of his malfunction.

“Nothing, I just strained myself during my session.” He said, making a show of rolling his shoulders.

Of course the one person Diluc wouldn’t be able to hide his panic from was Kaeya. Still, his pride wouldn’t allow him to show weakness, not even his own brother.

Kaeya gazed at him with his all-seeing eye, and for a moment, it felt like he could unravel everything Diluc was hiding. But Diluc stood firm.

“Okay. Well make sure you stretch properly. If it’s still bothering you, why don’t you let Jean handle the demonstration later today.”

“No, I will be fine.” Diluc shook his head. He wouldn’t let his personal problems get in the way of his profession. “What do you need to talk about?”

Kaeya stared at him a little longer before sighing. “I was going to ask about the proposal for the event during Windblume. Some of the things weren’t adding up and I just wanted to double check before I went ahead with the plans.”

Diluc motioned for the papers Kaeya had been holding. He quickly scanned them over, then looked over them a couple more times because the words wouldn't register in his head.

Every word he read would be followed up by images of red. Red hair, red blood, red snow.

Diluc jolted when he felt pressure on his shoulder. Looking over, Kaeya gave him a concerned gaze.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Diluc debated on coming clean to his brother and getting his help. Within those few seconds, Diluc had come up with a plan of him getting to Snezhnaya and finding his Fated. However, after those seconds were up, Diluc erased all those thoughts. He knew none of those plans would be feasible.

Diluc only sighed. “I’m fine. Just tired is all. I guess I didn’t get as much sleep as I thought I did.”

“Diluc, you’re sweating. You’re clearly not ok-”

“I am fine.” Diluc harshly stated.

When he saw Kaeya’s brows furrow, he added, “It’s just left over water from when I washed up.” He avoided his brother’s eye.

Kaeya sighed, “I just wish you would open up a little more.”

“That’s rich coming from you.” Diluc whispered.

Kaeya stiffened.

“...What?”

Diluc cleared his throat, turning to face away from Kaeya. “Nothing. I said that there is nothing wrong, understood? So just let it go.”

“At least let me-” Kaeya started saying before Diluc cut him off.

“No, I am fine now. Give me a second.” With that, Diluc focused his attention on the paper again.

After reviewing it and changing a few things, Diluc sent Kaeya off. He assured him nothing was wrong one last time and that he would be able to complete his duties for the day.

The rest of the day flew by in a haze. By the time Diluc had gotten a hold of himself, he was back in his room getting ready to bathe. The sight of the scars sent jolts of fear through him all over again.

After removing his clothing, he took his time to look for any sign of communication Ajax could be sending him. His fruitless search ended when two more scars showed up.

At least Diluc knew his Fated was alive and kicking. That would have to be enough for now.

He got into the bath and began washing. He hoped he could rinse off his fears like the soap suds. Instead, it seemed his thoughts got more twisted. Every time he washed a body part, a new scar appeared. Forcing himself to calm down, Diluc focused on his breaths.

He tried the method Adeline taught him. He breathed in for four counts, held it, let it out for another four, and held his breath again before repeating. Diluc repeated the exercise multiple times, only stopping when he realized it wasn’t doing much.

He rationalized that it was simply because he was in the bath. So Diluc stood up and got out of the bath. He reached for the towel and wrapped it around himself. He walked over to the door only finding it taking much longer than he remembered.

His vision began to blur and a sudden bout of dizziness washed over Diluc causing his knees to buckle. He fell to the floor and found it hard to breathe. Diluc closed his eyes and began doing the breathing technique again. The steam filled room did not help at all. It felt like the water was pressing onto every pore of his body, slowly suffocating him.

Diluc crawled to the door, struggling to reach the door handle. His eyes watered as the room began to dim and black dots danced in his vision. Diluc pushed himself one last time and twisted the knob, finally opening the door.

Cool air rushed over his face. Diluc greedily took in the fresh air. Feeling himself grow weaker, Diluc gradually let himself go. As the steam rolled into his room, he thought he saw a blue eyed boy smiling down on him.

Ajax?

Those eyes seemed to lose their shine as the smile widened into something sinister splattered with red.

No, that couldn’t be Ajax. Surely not.

Diluc closed his eyes and allowed himself to be embraced by the darkness, hoping to dream of his sweet angelic smiling Fated.

When he woke up, Diluc found himself lying on a bed covered by familiar sheets. Glancing around, he confirmed that he was in his room. Blinking a few times, Diluc remembered what had transpired earlier.

In any other situation, Diluc would have been ashamed to have passed out from anxiety. However, the only thing Diluc was ashamed of currently was his lack of ability to help his Fated.

He felt the sting of tears overwhelm his eyes as he sighed mockingly at himself. What great knight? What great captain? He was praised for so much and yet, he couldn’t even do anything when he was needed the most.

Diluc tried moving around his arms and legs but still felt weak. His arms were a bit sore, and Diluc doubted he would be able to stand right now. He wondered how long he had been unconscious. Did Ajax have time to read his messages? Would he have replied by now?

He wallowed in his thoughts for a bit longer before he heard the door open. Turning his head, Diluc saw his father step in.

“Oh thank Barbatos you woke up. We were all worried when Adelinde found you on the floor. She said you came to quickly but were tired, so she let you sleep,” His father said.

Diluc averted his eyes. He did not recall any of that. And just his luck that his father had to come home when Diluc was falling apart. He took a deep breath before facing his father.

“I apologize for not taking care of myself well enough. But I assure you I am doing well now.” Diluc lied with all the confidence he could muster up.

His father’s eyes bore into his. Diluc struggled to keep his gaze, but he stood firm.

At least until his father sighed. Diluc felt his confidence crack.

“Diluc, I am not reprimanding you. I am worried. It has been a while since this has happened. What brought this on? Did something happen?” his father asked.

Diluc started shaking his head, but Father kept going.

“Is it the Knights? Are you being overworked? I heard from Kaeya that you have been pushing yourself more. Maybe you should take a break for a bit.”

Now Diluc was really shaking his head. “No Father, I am not overworking. And nothing is wrong. I simply was overheated while bathing. That is all”

Yes, if he said it enough times, it would become the truth. Nothing was wrong after all. Diluc had everything under control.

“Is that so?” His father asked. Diluc could hear the disbelief underlying it.

In order to convince him and Diluc himself, Diluc moved to get out of bed.

His father came to assist him, which Diluc allowed.

“How’s Ajax been doing?” His father asked.

Diluc felt his heart stop. His entire body tensed as his mind brought back all the images of the rapid scarring Diluc witnessed yesterday.

“He’s-,” Diluc swallowed, forcing the words out, “He is fine. I think.” Diluc did not dare look at Father for fear of being found out.

“We have not been contacting each other everyday, but the last time I heard from him, he seemed to be fine.” Diluc said.

It was the truth. After all, the last time Ajax wrote to Diluc, he had been fine. He had been fine.

“Well, that is good to hear.” He paused, “You know, it was discussed in our past meeting about branching into Snezhnaya’s market. Apparently Snezhnayan tourists that visited Mondstadt have been spreading the word about Dandelion wine over there. I am thinking of taking a trip to the capital in order to scout the area and survey their alcohols. Would you like to come? You could finally use some of your days off.”

Diluc turned to his father.

“Really?” Was all Diluc could utter.

His father nodded with a faint smile.

“So, what do you think?”

“That… would be nice.” Diluc softly smiled. Yes, that would be nice. He would finally get to see his Fated in person. Diluc’s growing smile stopped when an intrusive thought made its way to the forefront of his mind.

If his Fated would still be alive then.

Diluc exhaled in order to abandon the thought.

“Son?” his father asked.

“Yes, that sounds good. I will… let Ajax know,” Diluc said.

“Alright. I will update you on the details once they are sorted out.” He clapped Diluc’s shoulder while standing up.

“We should head down now. Adelinde made a feast for you, so make sure you eat your fill,” his father said.

Diluc laughed softly, “I will.”

He stood up, making sure to keep his balance. Thankfully, the talk with his father helped relieve some of his tension and he only felt a bit sore. But that was something Diluc was used to.

As they walked out of the room to eat breakfast, his father began telling Diluc about his most recent journey to Liyue.

Two days have passed since Diluc first started seeing the new scars from Ajax. Thankfully, the first day was the worst of it. The scars appeared less frequently and almost stopped happening by the third day.

Diluc was not sure whether to be happy or concerned about it. Obviously he was happy that his Fated was no longer in pain or in danger. But Diluc was also worried that the lack of scars meant something else. Something Diluc did not have the courage to even think of.

Diluc had continued his duties as Captain. It was more like he was running on autopilot. Thankfully, none of his peers noticed anything strange. Well, except for Kaeya. But Diluc managed to avoid him for the most part. And when he could not, they were with other people, so Kaeya would not be able to grill him for answers.

Every morning, Diluc would write a message, asking, pleading for Ajax to reply. And every night, there would be no answer. It felt as if Diluc had gone back to the days when he was younger, waiting for his Fated to finally contact him for the first time.

Was that it? Did Ajax regret being his Fated? Did he hate Diluc now because Diluc did not keep his promise of keeping him safe? Because he was not there for Ajax when he needed him?

Diluc would not even fault him if that was the case. Diluc should have been there, protecting Ajax. He was his Fated, that was his duty to Ajax. And yet, he had failed him. Over and over again, allowing his sweet Fated become scarred by Archons know what.

And the only thing Diluc could do was pray to Barbatos, to all the Archons, that Ajax was safe and alive. So that’s what he did.

Once he was relieved of his duties, Diluc walked up the steps to the church. He was greeted by Barbara when he got to the front rows.

“Sir Diluc, it’s good to see you again!” She greeted him with a smile.

Diluc was always unsure how to interact with her, given her relationship with Jean. But he could not even think about whether his manners were proper or not for the circumstances.

“Sister Barbara.” He nodded back.

Diluc waited for her to go back to her regular duties as she had yesterday, but when she stayed in place, fidgeting, Diluc knew he would have to put on the “I am perfectly fine” mask.

“Did you-“ Diluc started before getting cut off by the deaconess.

“Sir Diluc, if… if there is anything you would like to get off your chest, please feel free to tell me.” Barbara said enthusiastically. Her face started to redden, “O-of course it doesn’t have to be me you talk to. You could tell any of the Sisters or even Father-“

“Sister Barbara, thank you for the thoughtful gesture, but I do not have any worries I need to relieve myself of. I simply came out of devotion.” Diluc said, placing a hand on his chest, smiling.

Maybe Kaeya rubbed off on him more than he thought. He was getting far too comfortable with lying.

“Oh… I see. I’m sorry. I thought something happened since you normally only come to church during mass.” She said shyly.

Diluc’s jaw tensed.

“As a Knight, I thought it was time I regularly offered my prayers to our great Archon. After all, it is only thanks to Lord Barbatos that our nation is what it is today. He is protecting all of us and allowing us to live a truly free life.”

Now even Diluc felt like he was laying it on thick. But it seemed to do the trick.

“Yes, I completely agree. It is all thanks to Lord Barbatos that we live such happy days.” Barbara nodded.

“Now, if you will excuse me, I wish to offer my prayers,” Diluc said.

“Of course! Feel free to stay as long as you like. And if you need anything, let me know!” And with that, Barbara finally went back to her duties, leaving Diluc alone with his thoughts.

Diluc did not completely lie when he was praising the Archon. After all, it was true that Mondstadt only became what it is due to Barbatos’ winds. His father brought both Kaeya and Diluc to church whenever he was home and was a devout follower, so Diluc was no stranger to the faith. But occasionally he had thoughts about why Barbatos never showed himself in times of need like the other Archons did.

But maybe his impure thoughts are the reason for his current predicament. Diluc wonders if Ajax would have been safe if Diluc had attended church more often.

Diluc sighed as he sat on a bench. It does not matter now anyway. He closed his eyes and held his hands together. Bowing his head, he began to pray to the Archon. He begged him to keep Ajax safe and to send him a message.

Lord Barbatos, I have spent my entire life protecting your beloved nation. Just this once, please help protect my beloved Fated. I promise, as long as you protect the ones I love, I will forever be your knight.

Diluc continued praying til the sun fully set. He stood up and walked back to the entrance.

Barbara was waiting by the door greeting all the believers who were entering and leaving. She smiled when she saw him.

Diluc nodded, about to continue walking, but Barbara spoke up. “Whatever it is, I’m sure your prayers will be answered.”

“I do hope so,” Diluc said, looking down. “Have a good night, Sister.”

“You too, Sir Diluc.”

On the way back home, Diluc took in the stars and felt the wind ruffle his hair.

Yes, maybe his prayers will finally come true.

That same night, Diluc could not sleep. He kept tossing and turning and eventually gave up on getting any rest. Instead, he went to the training grounds and worked through a few exercises. By the time the first rays of light came, Diluc had worked up a good amount of sweat. Deciding he had trained enough, he went to wash up before getting breakfast.

As he took off his clothes, he began examining his body for any new scars that might have appeared.

The light caught on an unusual pattern on his left arm. His heart jumped. Diluc closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking back at the writing.

I am alive and fine.

The only one thought went through Diluc’s mind as tears blurred his vision. It looks like Barbatos had yet to abandon him.

[someplayfuldreams]

things people do after having a nightmare that isn’t crying

struggle to catch their breath

grab onto whatever’s close enough to ground themselves in reality

become nauseous / vomit

shake uncontrollably

sweat buckets

get a headache

things people do to combat having nightmares if they occur commonly

sleep near other people so they can hear the idle sounds of them completing tasks

move to a different sleeping spot than where they had the nightmare

leave tvs / radios / phones on with noise

just not sleep (if you want to go the insomnia route)

sleep during the day in bright rooms

things people with insomnia do

first, obviously, their ability to remember things and their coordination will go out the window

its likely they’ll become irritable or overly emotional

their body will start to ache, shake, and weaken

hallucinate if it’s been long enough

it becomes incredibly easy for them to get sick (and they probably will)

add your own in reblogs/comments!