small-brain-witch-bitch

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

I am Lumi, god of the night and I don't know what to do

I am Arran, god of the most important thing

EDIT: if y'all don’t wanna use your name use your username

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

Why is Phineas' German voice so violently different from the English one?

Did they dislike the English one and just went and said nah?

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

Ratatouille AU, where instead of letting the health inspector go, they just straight up kill him.

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

Who needs therapy if I can play out my parental issues in c.ai?

It's me.

I need therapy.

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

So Alastor lived during that radioactive craze, didn't he?

Do you think he would've been skeptical about this new trend or do you think he'd be like "Radioactive toothpaste?! Neat! That has the word radio in it!"

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

In season two, Vox has blackmail against Alastor. Upon Alastor's request, or rather his cashing in on his and Charlie's deel, the hotel gang try painstakingly to get rid of it. They go through trials and tribulation, learn and grow on that journey. Then, it happens, they finally get ahold of the blackmail. It's a photo. What? What could possibly be so bad, captured in a singular photo, that it would somehow damage Alastor's reputation? It's hell, and he's got a colourful portfolio of misdeeds and sins already known to the public!

They turn around the photo to see what it's contents are:

Alastor, with a deer tail.

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

People collecting crystals are just the kids who collected rocks grown up and with the ✨sparkle✨ gene unlocked

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

How the Hazbin cast would react to spam calls:

Angel Dust overdoing it on purpose; "I'm supposed to send you 1000$? How about we spend a night together and call it even, no Extra charge ;*"

Husk: "Fuck off"

Vaggie: doesn't pick up unknown number

Charlie: "1000$? Oh dear, that's a lot of money, you should really get a lawyer instead - I could ask my dad, he's the king, so he'll probably -" disconnect

"Odd..."

Pentouis: "I don't have this kind of money! Who do think you are?! A prince? Well then ask the princess, I'm sure she-" disconnected

Nifty: sends dead bug crown instead

Alastor: "Are you sure you're not a baker? No? Why, it seems like you're awfully keen on collecting more dough!" Canned laughter "It looks like I have guest for my radio show!"

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

Why is my grandma behaving like your 14yo brother?

My 14 year old brother just took a drink of hot chocolate and hissed like he'd knocked back a shot of vodka then set it down and went "ah... that's the good stuff."

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

I need a lil good luck pls. Thank you luck potato :3

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

Instead of John Smith he uses John Holmes at the agency, because it's funnier this way

doctor who fic idea/request

the 14th doctor starts a detective agency

he would probably have some kind of sherlock homes theming

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

So, a family member send me this conspiracy theory out of nowhere, it translates to this:

"Berlin newspaper

A vegan Burger gets a price, because it supposedly tastes like human meat. A plant meat brand got rewarded a creativity price for their 'Human Meat Burger'. A lot of people now ask themselves: How did they know that it tastes like human meat?"

And I think it's funny for multiple reasons.

First of all, they didn't source anything at all. But that's to be expected with these kinds of posts. But this time they don't even name any company, or what kind of competition it was. Or what 'Berlin Newspaper' this was supposedly printed in.

So by all accounts if it is real (not that I think it is) it could be just neighbour Joe Burgermann, who made a burger for their family competition, claimed it tastes like human meat and won out of "creativity", even though we all know it was out of pity.

But then my friend reminded me that it's a pretty largely know fact, that human meat tastes like chicken. So Joe Burgermann's story is even more sad now, because it was simply a chicken burger, he tried to make sound creative.

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

I just remembered that teacher that explained dementia to us. And he had a video about it to explain the emotional side of it. And it was deadass like a 2009 YouTube music video from windows movie maker with "emotional" still stock photos and some text.

Since then, when someone forgets something someone says "Demenz Edit" (Litteraly just "Dementia edit")

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

You pay with your sanity. I'm dirt poor at this point

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

[small-brain-witch-bitch]

1) Buys Voldemort doll

2) Buys cowboy doll

3) Takes cowboy doll's hat (sorry cowboy)

4) Puts hat on Voldemort

5)

6) Profit