sistersarabrown - Tumblr blog

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge part of my old hustle that i was flailing with in frosty Seattle, was art modeling. in NY and Nola i had been an art model for years, enjoyed the work, supplemented my photography gigs. it was a combo that had worked well for a long time - until it didn’t. so there in Seattle, tattered and shattered, i was walking those old ghost steps and it wasn’t working, because that path, that tightrope act was over. so i got myself into some sketchy situations with some creepy dudes who wanted to photograph ‘artistic nudes’ i knew what they wanted, i knew it wasn’t art modeling, they just wanted to feed their gaze. the money was a lot better though and i needed that. this portrait session was so silly and disturbing, the dude was shout ‘Ole’’ after each shot that excited him, which was quite a bit. he was a former gypsy guitar player playing at photographer when all he was was a horny old dude with cash to spare. #sanctuary #refuge #hustle #letgo #surrender #fuckoff #creepyoldmen #money #life #death #fear #love #tellyourstory #listen #compassion #onelove #oneworld #women#travel #thankyou (at Seattle, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2PLqyKll4V/?igshid=9kvrtwqtr9nf

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge that winter of falling far and fast, i was on an island that felt safe, i needed that then. across the water was Seattle, WA - a frosty bitch of a city if there ever was one haha and i would ride the ferry over there a few times a week, trying to pick up my old hustle. the hustle that was one of the factors to my disintegration. there were other big things in the soup, but going going so fast fast, hustle hustle run hurry up get there to that gig fast and then that one over there - wore me out. i didn’t want to do that anymore but i hadn’t let go enough to stop all together. so i half hustled, 1/4 hustled, turning in aimless circles and felt useless #sanctuary #refuge #safe #sensation #wornout #tired #fear #letgo #surrender #stubborn #water #sky #boat #landscape #americanlandscape #tellyourstory #listen #witness #compassion #photography #people #travel #thankyou (at Bainbridge, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2Mltgkl5_F/?igshid=1v0nfac4xj7vz

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge this second island, that winter, showed me that the pulse of life was/is relentless, it does’t ever stop - movement is life, a good friend once told me #sanctuary #refuge #marina #crow #woman #wet #movement #life #death #fear #love #tellyourstory #listen #witness #oneworld #onelove #gaia #americanlandscape #photography #travel #thankyou (at Bainbridge, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2KH1qdlMhG/?igshid=10mkhim42oj7a

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge that marina and the point, that piece of wood, that was once a tree that helped me breathe and now kept me afloat in its new form, next life. i came to this point and stared out to the sea and into the sun #sanctuary #refuge #point #afloat #fear #life #death #water #wood #tree #transformation #byforce #surrender #tellyourstory #listen #witness #compassion #americanlandscape #photography #people #onelove #oneworld #gaia #travel #thankyou (at Bainbridge, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2Hfiknl7if/?igshid=cos45qv4tts2

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge morning after morning, i would wake shaky and scared but reach for my camera and go down to the dawn on the water. that marina was small and exquisite and i felt safe there #sanctuary #refuge #dawn #light #water #awake #fear #create #letgo #cold #mist #color #perception #safe #americanlandscape #tellyourstory #listen #witness #compassion #people #travel #thankyou (at Bainbridge, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2E4SnEFBFF/?igshid=19dcbus4jtjwt

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge there wasn’t just myself and the birds in that marina, this sanctuary was a home to so much life! i was surrounded by beating, pulsing, wonderful, life and that primal connection carried me when i was weak #sanctuary #refuge #life #everywhere #oneworld #gaia #onelove #fear #love #alive #death #circle #cycle #beauty #everywhere #tellyourstory #listen #witness #americanlandscape #people #travel #thankyou (at Bainbridge Island, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2CUS45lhLk/?igshid=1ftun8q5lintd

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge that marina was a sanctuary, my sanctuary. the birds had this fantastic relationship with the tide, when it was in, they slept. when it was out the fed on the clams and mussels that rimmed the exposed shore and feasted #sanctuary #refuge #rhythm #tides #sea #birds #eat #sleep #observe #rest #work #life #death #listen #tellyourstory #witness #people #oneworld #onelove #travel #thankyou https://www.instagram.com/p/B1_u_r8l46K/?igshid=om66m8byukqi

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge being a ghost of your former self is a strange feeling, you haunt yourself, wind blows through. and, you are still alive, breathing, being, learning, everything is still there, just not in the shapes you remember. #sanctuary #refuge #oldghost #fear #love #alive #transformation #strange #life #relentless #breathe #nature #teacher #oneworld #gaia #reachout #tellyourstory #listen #compassion #people #travel #thankyou (at Bainbridge Island, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B19JqZnlGNF/?igshid=1fkqqzsetiuhf

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge this is the sanctuary i came to in that time of fracture. seeking refuge, i was given this extraordinary gift. this marina, this inlet on Bainbridge Island, across the water from Seattle, WA. this marina on the first morning after i arrived, and then every morning, i would go down and watch the natural sanctuary of birds ocean and trees, wake up and begin the the game of life. i figured that since i had lost my hold on my life game, observing all the natural pros around me, could teach me how to be #sanctuary #refuge #nature #islandlife #marina #birds #light #water #life #wakeup #learn #watch #listen #gaia #earth #oneworld #americanlandscape #people #tellyourstory #fear #love #compassion #travel #thankyou (at Bainbridge Island, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B16mPWbllXh/?igshid=112kyhqhtgeq3

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge when i asked for sanctuary from my lady-hawk mamas those three years ago, i was asking to leave Orcas to its cold winter self and find a warm nest somewhere else, to hopefully heal. my sanctuary proved to be on another island with my Fairy Godmother so i said goodbye to Orcas, for now. i wanted to come back, Orcas sang a sweet siren song. #sanctuary #refuge #askingforhelp #elsewhere #islandlife #leaving #heal #safe #quiet #unknown #opendoor #mist #fear #love #life #tellyourstory #listen #compassion #learn #people #travel #thankyou (at Orcas, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B14XPiMFX_P/?igshid=dmkjtrv808t6

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge those three plus years ago when i so suddenly and completely lost my grip, i had and have a squad of cheerleading angels rooting for me every in every shaky step i took. and this angel? she has been my most steady true love since the day i was born. my Aunt Chris has just loved me me simply and deeply and without fuss, she is the third of my lady-hawk mamas that raised me, watched over me. and when i fell so far and fast, my auntie was and is right there, always. the most amazing woman #thankyou #sanctuary #refuge #mothers #thebest (at Bellingham, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B11k4kpFdQH/?igshid=fwr7rdpdkrku

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge there have been so many people along the way of this journey in the last three years that helped me navigate my onslaught of fear that transformed into this epic quest/art project TheNatureOfRefuge.com in exploring sanctuary, refuge, and the possibilities of fear navigation. i would like to thank my angels from time to time and i start with these two women - my mother and her best friend, my fairy godmother. when i first washed up broken to Orcas almost 4 yrs ago, these two evoked the ritual of asking for sanctuary, a sacred moment of total vulnerability, for all of us. i wrote a poem that winter solstice morning about these two angels in my life, its too long for IG in its totality but here is a slice, full of so much love. To Brooke and my mother Kathy - ... they bring my head close into the circle hold me close in this dark night, this dark morning laughing, telling me its time to let the light in little one you will always be our little one time to turn your face to the sun and smile at the warmth time to turn the pain down, you can only stand so much. what do you need little one? two women ask me. three feathers three stones three flowers three candles to light the way out of the dark  hold my hand please, this is what i need my mothers, my light holders my hand holders my heart holders two women they lean in close, intertwined, laughing honking like geese, moving like water, shaped like herons flying  to the first morning, they light my way, it is done. #sanctuary #refuge #mothers #love #thankyou (at Bellingham, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1wSA2plG-S/?igshid=1an2poo3wiqq4

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofreguge coming in, docking, landing, whether you are ready or not. time to do the work whether you are ready or not. you are afraid and you are loved #sanctuary #refuge #docked #landed #flight #journey #fear #love #night #island #reckoning #gently #americanlandscape #women #men #people #stories #tellyourstory #listen #compassion #travel #thankyou (at Orcas Island Ferry Landing) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ttXrFFQUJ/?igshid=6b51mpp13xv8

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge getting to that island the first time, i don’t really remember. i do remember all the others, the back and forth over cold salt water and a wind that pushed at me with such ease. this far sanctuary that i chose, she wasn’t easy to get to, she asked that you try a little harder to reach her sweet harbor #sanctuary #refuge #island #voyage #journey #water #ocean #cold #blue #sweet #americanlandscape #photography #tellyourstory #vulnerable #raw #people #travel #thankyou (at Orcas, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1rJGvylZB_/?igshid=xe4d8evdddnz

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge so though i was endlessly free falling through all the versions of myself, so terrified, the refuge in which i washed up on was magic - oh that island.. #sanctuary #refuge #island #flight #falling #fear #whoami #whathappened #love #compassion #tellyourstory #stories #people #americanlandscape #travel #thankyou (at Orcas Island Ferry Landing) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ePDZsF7j8/?igshid=tfc2q8ion042

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge on that tiny island almost 4yrs ago, living in that surreal airplane hanger right next to the landing strip, i was a broken two-seater not fit to fly. i jittered and jangled, stuttered in my fear, so i danced and stared at the stars #sanctuary #refuge #airplanehanger #airstrip #tryingtoland #crash #benched #fear #life #death #dance #stories #people #travel #americanlandscape #thankyou (at Orcas Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ZExUjFqLi/?igshid=1tk3t982qw3qm

[sistersarabrown]

#thenatureofrefuge when i washed up to the tiny isolated island 4yrs ago, i was given help. i moved into a dreamy weird airplane hanger about 50ft away from the actual airstrip. i lost myself so suddenly, i was me one day running full tilt, and then the next, hollowed out strange and disoriented from running straight into my walls. the walls crashed all around me and i was just egg yolk raw. i tucked my scared self into this new refuge and roared. #sanctuary #refuge #airplanehanger #island #fear #dismantled #help #angels #reachout #compassion #witness #speak #teacheachother #learn #love #friends #family #women #men #stories #travel #thankyoi (at Orcas Island) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1WkdVxFqDb/?igshid=1g0la0ymhuvmk