silviawordsworth

[silviawordsworth]

guys if i like something 100% for a few months, lose interest, have like a week or two grace period where i feel terrible, and then pick up another thing, can i call that a hyperfixation?

like i get really really into it, like, trying to act like the characters kinda way as in they impact me alot, i buy/make alot of merch, and if i like any other fandom while doing so il feel like im betraying it

and like, i dont let myself watch/interact w things that i think would overpower the current one bc i dont ever want it to stop (it always does)

and if i ever have 2 things im really into at once, they kinda cancel out and become just general liking (its happened once and its really noticable+ rip to oneshot and got. though it did happen w hotd)

idk, like, im not adhd diagnosed and idk if its distasteful to use the term but after speaking w everyone ik, its definitely not normal the extent and way i like things

[silviawordsworth]

A comprehensive reason as to why I, as a teenage girl, think the marauders fandom is heaven on earth. (+ a few faults)

In simple terms, its a pit of representation. The characters, even the ones mentioned more than just a name drop, have very little known information about them. Like yes, we know remus lupin marries tonks and we know james marries lily, but besides that? They were teenagers at hogwarts, its fun to play around with the dynamics of them.

And its also a passion project. The marauders is by no means an actual thing. Sure, theyre side characters in hp. But the marauders fandom is created solely on headcanons and fanon info. Its almost like if i were to pull finnick and annie from thg and develop them with such depth that it contextualises things that couldve been explained better in the actual books.

And not only that, but it shows creativity. Its like weve all taken these characters, aged them down to make them more relatable, and projected our own teenage experiences onto them in a way that jk could never as she wrote them as an adult and likely has never experienced the struggles of the lgbtq teens nowadays

The lgbtq is also a good point to bring up. Nowhere anywhere else on the internet will you find a fandom so full of lgbtq characters solely bc 'it doesnt sell'. The marauders is a prime example of how marketing realistic teenagers to teenagers is not unprofitable.

Mental health is also a big thing that needs to be explored more in media. And not as the main plot, but as something that just exists. Its done well in the marauders fandom.

Usually when watching a show or reading a book, you think these characters arent that realistic. In their world, sure. But its hard to relate to characters who link nothing to you. The marauders, though wizards, are teenagers in school. They are relatable.

Also the ability to create everything out of nothing. I adore pandora rosier and regulus black but in canon they are never even shown in the movies besides reg.

The poc inclusivity, the non skinny inclusivity, etc etc.

However! There are issues.

The marauders fandom is primarily girls, yet this fandom is an excellent example of the preference that male characters get. Like, i love regulus. But pray tell why jegulus gets more hype than pretty much any wlw ships combined? And why do i see so much of lily being a surrogate or her dying and james and reg getting harry? If youre gonna cut lily out of james life for him to be w reg, atleast find another way for them to have a kid. Lily is more than her uterus and a plot device for a kid.

And theres also sm arguments over headcanons. Like, if i were to say i hc james potter as straight, i would get attacked in todays fandom. It just gets a bit strange sometimes when people disregard canon at all. I get the seperation of canon from fanon is definitely inevitable in this fandom, but i dislike when people push their hcs as canon when its literally contradicted by canon.

I love the marauders fandom i do, and i love the way the characters are developed enough to be interesting to everyone, and not just babied down enough to be advertised to kids. Theres so much you can do when you dont have to worry about pr.

Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant. Please feel free to reblog w any questions or comments, il respond to everyone x

[silviawordsworth]

Major artblock major writersblock major cant revise for the life of me but hey atleast im alive (unlike the marauders)

[silviawordsworth]

This is so true. I feel like bellatrix is always either portrayed as entirely insane with no thoughts really at all or as a victim who does no wrong

The portrayal of bellatrix as someone who was wronged to the point of losing herself, and so she reinvents herself as someone who cannot be wronged in that way again is incredibly interesting to me. I am a sucker for morally gray or even just bad characters who have reasons for why they do what they do

The only things strong enough to make someone rebel against the pureblood expectations they have been taught for years are love and loss.

Sirius loved. He loved james and his friends so deeply. He loved his brother enough to want a better life for him.

Andromeda loved. She loved ted, and you cant control love.

Narcissa loved. She loved her family enough to place them above her loyalty.

Regulus lost. He lost his brother and his childhood and when threatened with the loss of kreacher, the one being that had always been there, he made a choice.

(Or if u ship jegulus he loved james so much he changed sides, which i personally think is a very cheap way of ignoring the nuances of how regulus was a bad person)

[silviawordsworth]

A comment on why i dont think jegulus or bartylus works/why they won't be in my fic (my hc obv idm whatever you ship)

Regulus reminds me alot of myself, in the sense that relationships arent very easy for him. Hes never had much of an issue stating that he likes someone because it doesnt feel intimate to him, and the only reason he doesnt openly express this all the time is because of the fear of embarassment.

To him, a crush isnt intimate. Its just a feeling. But after a while, he starts to realize that his 'crushes' are just his desire to be close friends with someone.

Now, regulus hasnt had any close friends or relationships in the past, so this desire to be closer to someone and to be their main person seemed like a crush to him.

It wasnt.

Perhaps hed get into a relationship. Of course, hed have to know a good lot around this person already, and he just wished they would be closer.

But then the hand holding starts. And the kissing, and the embraces and the romance in the situation becomes apparent.

And then regulus decides he wants a relationship without all the mushy stuff. Without all the romantic love.

He then would break up with this hypothetical person, and miss the closeness. And get back with them. And break up again.

Aromantic was then likely a word he had heard, and it made him spiral. Was he? Slightly perhaps. Not entirely- no. Of course not.

But then he had concluded that perhaps he was. Until he suddenly wanted to be closer to another one of his friends. Sure, he had no issue telling them that. He didn't view the act of 'confessing' as all that intimate.

But the moment that relationship changed from close friends to actual relationship stuff, he ended it.

Regulus Black doesn't know love. He doesn't get the difference between platonic and romantic and he doubts he ever will.

And so i don't wish to give him a partner in my fic, as itd feel like a disservice to myself in the process.

[silviawordsworth]

Sirius is a selfish prick. He's not a bad person, but he sure didn't care that much about anyone except the people important to him.

He's the type of person to answer the 'would you sacrifice 1000 people for your best friend' question in a heartbeat and feel no remorse.

[silviawordsworth]

Regulus Black didn't feel like he deserved to be upset. His brother got the worst of his parents, and in truth, anything they did to him was incomparable to his brother.

Sirius was physically tortured, abused- but Regulus? Sure, the tone in his mothers voice could make him still in an instant, even when not talking to him, but whats that to the physical abuse his brother recieved?

He was loved. He thought so, anyways. Sometimes he doubted it, he doubted if anyone would care if he left. But how dare he think like that?

Regulus knew his parents were treat more so like his brother than himself. How dare he claim he was hurt by their actions when around him he is surrounded by people so much worse off than him?

So what that he has no stability, no stable friendship that he can freely express himself to.

No. Regulus Black is better off than everyone around him. Hes never been physically harmed, and any verbal comments were meaningless against that.

Right?

A random characterisation of Reg. If its not accurate to ur hc, idc. This isnt supposed to be.

[silviawordsworth]

marauders as the borgias au. the black family gains the papacy through nefarious means. orion is the pope, but walburga is truly the mastermind behind his reign and the one pulling the strings. they make sirius, their eldest son into a cardinal. cardinal sirius does not want to be a cardinal, but he must go along with his families wishes. definitely meets cardinal (or maybe just priest) remus who was also forced into a career in the church by his own controlling family. definitely fall in love despite definitely not being supposed to. definitely do some freaky shit in the vatican. the black family also uses their youngest son, who is also made head of the arms of rome, as a means to gain more power. they marry regulus off to a rich lady in order to earn an alliance with her family and more money to support their power. regulus does not want to be in an arranged marriage for obvious reasons. but for unknown and secret reasons bc he is having an affair with a nobleman, the charismatic and vampish lord james potter who is also involved with the organization of the arms of rome. of course, their are no feelings behind their relations. none at all. he just doesn’t want to be forced into a marriage with a girl he’s never met. lady lily evans does not want this in any way either. she wants nothing more than to be desired for herself, not for her name or her dowry. she feels even less desired when she meets her husband-to-be and he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. and when a certain nobleman sees her and falls in love with her at first sight, maybe she falls for his charms just as her husband-to-be had. drama, affairs, and pretty dresses with bows and snoods in hair and many a sword fight ensue. also, barty is that assassin guy. and he definitely gets tasked to take out the lord rosier. which becomes a much harder task once he starts to fall in love with him.

[silviawordsworth]

Regulus Black had been raised on pureblood ideals. He had little idea on how damaging his beliefs were, yet when at hogwarts, his friendship with James Potter allowed him insight into what he never would have been allowed to learn. Though, of course, this hardly ends well due to the difference in their beliefs.

This is my fic, but replace Regulus with Pandora and James with Lily.

[silviawordsworth]

If the sisters of house black were men, they would be *the* family angst

I absolutely want to write a oneshot abt them at some point

[silviawordsworth]

Why isnt Pandora x Regulus a thing?

Like look, i wouldnt ship it. At all. Im an absolute aroace reg truther and i love pandalily to death, but like

If the marauders was an actual piece of media, they would be shipped to hell and back, no?

Is this a result of the marauders fandoms very lovely lgbtq safespace for shipping and making people feel like the sole ships for these characters can just be of their own gender?

[silviawordsworth]

i think i broke a little when i joined the marauders fandom. like i never really got sad over other pieces of media until this. this tragedy. this story of friendship and love and overcoming and staying the same. because some people fight tooth and nail to get what they want. others stay complacent and allow themselves to be swept up in the darkness of the world. but it doesn’t really matter what they choose to do in the end. they all meet the same fate. and that just breaks my heart.

[silviawordsworth]

the reason why i think that people don’t really ship regulily within jegulily or even on its own is because lily has to be a little fucked up for it to work. for her to relate to reg, you really have to lean into that side of her that believes she is unworthy of love. that is forever in the shadow of her perfect older sibling. that feels so much pressure to succeed in this world she has found herself in. i feel like lily is often portrayed as this perfect girl who always has her shit together, but idk i think that making her a little bit messed up would open up so many more opportunities for her character. begging for more stories with imperfect girls that have issues and get to feel loved and valued even when they do <3

[silviawordsworth]

Evan Rosier was not a good person. No- of course he wasn't. An active deatheater who was only held back by the pain it caused his sister. But what about everything that came before?

He was raised by loving, albeit blood purist parents. Well, his father was.

He was raised to do whatever he wanted as long as it didn't tarnish his image, as long as it kept the respect he had been born into.

Evan grew up much like his father. He knew what he had to do and he had little resistance to doing it, after all, why would he? Being on this side of the war is what gave him so much power, and why would he give up his privilege for the sake of halfbloods and muggleborns when he is inherently better than them?

He isnt a good person, no. Of course he isn't, and i dont think writing all the slytherins as good people is conceptually interesting. But Evan couldve easily turned to sirius for help, or done something to get out. And he didnt.

(Fanfic lore not even remotely canon)

[silviawordsworth]

Evan 'Eli' Rosier

Pandora 'Cassie' Rosier

Either that or swapped, uncertain

Thoughts?

[silviawordsworth]

sirius black and evan rosier

now thats an interesting dynamic

[silviawordsworth]

What if Evan was very much like Sirius, but his parents threatened Pandora if he didn't do exactly what they wanted