shattered-glass-shattered-mind

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

Who got to you, Ren?

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

WHAT’S UP SLUTS??? GUESS WHO JUST GOT OUTTA PRISON???

AND BY PRISON I MEAN A MENTAL HOSPITAL???

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

you wouldn’t have done what you did

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

And now, as of today, my streak is broken regardless of the failed attempts at exposure therapy, not because I deliberately self-triggered, but because I made myself vomit for the first time in ever.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

What you did was an act of violence. And I will never, ever forgive you.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

My sword is getting heavy.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

War time.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

Hello, all. Muse here.

I know. It’s weird for me too. But something happened today (Hell, it may have been happening for the past two weeks) and Deacon is tired, so here I am. Not sure how long this will last.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

I can’t tell you how lately I don’t feel enough like you love me.

I can’t point out to you how you’ve been showering everyone else, but especially Senpai, in more praise and affection than usual lately.

I can’t tell you how I can’t stop myself from feeling like you’re subconsciously doing it to spite me because you’re mad at me and it’s been going on for about at long as you’ve been mad at me.

I can’t expect you to anticipate what will make me upset and prevent it before it happens.

I can’t ask you to tiptoe around my personal baggage and insecurities.

I can’t ask you to fill some stupid quota every week or month or whatever.

I can’t ask for affection.

That isn’t how it works.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

Please say something, it’s been like three days. I’m dying here.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

And you wanna know the funny part?

I had this weird feeling that telling you was a bad idea.

Didn't know where it came from. Thought it was just nerves.

Boy do I wish I'd listened.

You know, if we’re being completely honest with ourselves, there isn’t any other way we can spin this.

Yes. It IS your fault. You ARE the one who jumped the gun and sent them into a probably undue panic about this. And now, thanks to you, I need to worry about one of my best friends never being able to look at me the same way again. You think this isn’t gonna affect our friendship even if you DO somehow fix what you screwed up? It will. This isn’t something that can be erased or rolled back. Especially with them. Their anxiety won’t let them.

Neither will mine.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

You know, if we're being completely honest with ourselves, there isn't any other way we can spin this.

Yes. It IS your fault. You ARE the one who jumped the gun and sent them into a probably undue panic about this. And now, thanks to you, I need to worry about one of my best friends never being able to look at me the same way again. You think this isn't gonna affect our friendship even if you DO somehow fix what you screwed up? It will. This isn't something that can be erased or rolled back. Especially with them. Their anxiety won't let them.

Neither will mine.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

Yeah no it’s just a cyst or something we’re fine

Okay brain, say it with me: I probably don’t have cancer. I probably don’t have cancer. I probably don’t have cancer.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

Okay brain, say it with me: I probably don’t have cancer. I probably don’t have cancer. I probably don’t have cancer.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

So I got drunk last night and I might have done something a bit foolish. But I think it turned out well.

I watched Cat Scratch Fever, Moon of the Wolf, AND The Doomsday Sanction, and I felt almost nothing. I really hope this means my Milo trigger has dissolved. And now, this.

1. Alcohol makes me pee like a monster. 2. Apparently Milo's jacket wasn't the only thing with magical colour-changing powers. His eyes would frequently switch between black, brown, and grey. 3. Where the fuck did that random ass cotter pin in MotW come from. 4. That's not how lava moves, animators 5. Bruce: *mentions The Question* Me: I want to see,,,my little boy I did not see my little boy, unfortunately. However, I DID see my OTHER little boy, Vibe, if only for a moment, so I call that a win.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

Forgot to update; I’ve had two more Milo dreams this month. The first one was on the seventh, and was my first in months. The second one was yesterday, which was not only the second one within the span of a month, but also (if my memory serves me well) the first time I’ve had two within the span of a week. I didn’t feel very much, if anything, in response to them, but still. This is odd.

[shattered-glass-shattered-mind]

The only flowers I’ll be laying on your graves are yellow carnations, orange lilies, and kalmias.

Except you, Chyna. You’ll get a whole ‘fuck you’ bouquet.