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Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them. 

Until, of course, they showed it to a traditional leatherworker and she took one look at it and said “Oh yeah sure that’s a leather burnisher, you use it to close the pores of leather and work oil into the hide to make it waterproof. Mine looks just the same.” 

“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”

“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”

It’s just. 

50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job. 

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So I have read several people complaining that they can’t be expected to know the “unwritten rules” of fandom. So here’s what I wish people knew:

Fanfiction is fiction.

Fictional people are not real.

Fictional people do not have rights.

Fictional people cannot be abused.

Reading or writing about something does not mean the desire to do or support it in the real world.

If I find art upsetting/triggering/disgusting/outraging/unpleasant/squicky/distressing/offensive, it is on me not to read it, not the creators and hosts to remove it.

Curate your own experience. The back buttons exist for a reason.

If you don’t trust yourself to do that, get someone you trust to do it for you.

Fandom is an adult space. Adults create and own and host fandom spaces. If minors want to participate, then the onus is on them and their parents/guardians/trusted adults to ensure they participate appropriately, not on strange adults to stop being adults.

You often don’t know the assault status or mental health status or neurotype or race or nationality or religion or gender or sexuality or age of a creator or consumer, and they do not have to disclose to you to justify their fantasy.

AO3 is not a safe space. It is not intended to be a safe space. Proceed accordingly.

Just because you don’t like something or find it offensive doesn’t mean it is a “problem” that “has to be dealt with”.

Most characters in anime are not white.

There is no onus on you to reblog or share anything.

Everyone makes mistakes in fandom and is less than their best self sometimes.

Persistent pseudonyms encourage long term relationships.

Ship wars are stupid.

Someone else enjoying things does not impact on your own enjoyment of other things.

Tagging and warning is a courtesy, not a requirement. Assume any fic might contain untagged content.

Rating is an imprecise art, not a science.

Don’t hassle IP creators.

Most people who are in fandom are hoping to make connections based on a shared passion.

Trying to profit from transformative fanworks puts us all at risk.

No one is obligated to share your head canon or fanon.

Being kind rarely fails to pay off.

It is okay to block and remove people who make your experience unpleasant. You don’t have to placate them. (Learn from my mistakes).

Britpicking is a good thing.

You don’t have to justify why you like a canon/pairing/trope/kink. Sometimes navel gazing is fun, but you don’t have an obligation to explain yourself, especially to strangers. I share the overwhelming desire to refute an unfair accusation, but the people accusing you are rarely doing so in good faith, so you’re batting a losing wicket.

I’m not your Mum. (Well, okay, a very few of you can call me Mum or Mom, but if you are one of them you already know who you are ❤️)

If you aren’t mature enough to take responsibility for your online experiences, you aren’t mature enough to be in fandom spaces.

[sharasays]

More Teen Wolf Edits! Tweets, headlines, shitposts etc.

[sharasays]

Headcannon accepted.

So we already know that Crowley has a way with words from the encounter at the Globe Theater, so what if all throughout history, he’s been writing love poems, plays and novels to Aziraphale. But he can’t do this himself, so he “inspires” struggling writers by whispering in their ears, thus allowing his words to be put to pen. Of course Aziraphale is going to read these works, and have a strong reaction towards them. We know that Aziraphale is clever, but no so clever where he would realize that all his favorite writers, poets and playwrights are really just Crowley. When he reads romantic passages in a book, or an unrequited love poem, or an interaction between two star crossed lovers in a play, he immediately feels a strong connection to the words; as if someone perfectly summed up his feelings he has for the demon he secretly loves so much. That’s how Crowley shows his love for Aziraphale.

But Aziraphale shows his love for Crowley by gifting him books with those treasured words inside. He will nonchalantly give Crowley a book with the guise of, “it has a snake in it, you’ll enjoy this one.” Or “you should really tempt this poor poet’s love interest into reciprocating” or “this takes place in that little village where we had crepes after all that behaeding business”, when what he really means to say is, “I read these words about love and thought of you” and Crowley just groans and brushes off the gifts. All the while, in secret, he stores all those tablets, scrolls, plays, poems and books as his most cherished collection. When Crowley tells Aziraphale that he’s getting his stuff and leaving for the stars, he’s talking about the only items in his life that truly have value to him, not his plants, not his draft of the Mona Lisa, not even the statue from the blown up church, but his book collection- the words he wrote for Aziraphale that Aziraphale gave back to him.

After the End of the World that Wasn’t, they are able to love openly and freely. When Crowley moves his stuff into the Bookshop, Aziraphale is delighted to see that Crowley kept all the gifts he had given to him throughout the ages. When Aziraphale says, “you kept the books I gave you!” Crowley smugly says, “you mean the ones I wrote for you.”

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And just the way he holds it up, so triumphantly, like he is so relieved and proud to have done the most useful thing in the moment that he had felt so completely useless. Realizing that he had done the most right possible thing to help his best friend when he thought that he had completely failed him. I have watched that scene over and over and over.

And aziraphale sounding so proud to tell Crowley in that moment “I worked it all out” like it wasn’t just that he figured out where the antichrist is - he had figured that out awhile back. But he was telling it to Crowley, fully realizing that Crowley was who he should have told in the first place. He had lied to Crowley before, thinking that he needed to tell Heaven about it instead. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Gabriel and the angels all bullied him and he had just told the QuarterMaster to FUCK OFF and announced that he wasn’t fighting in their war and he finally has empowered himself to really really be on Crowley’s side for good. And you can hear it in his fucking voice when he says “I worked it all out.” Like he is saying “I give you everything that I am.”

Crowley's

VOICE BREAK

when he finishes aziraphale's sentence and says "AGNES NUTTER!"

like

yes YES I HAVE IT! I HAVE THE THING YOU ARE CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR EVEN IF IM NOT SURE YOURE ACTUALLY HERE! IM HELPING YOU, LIKE I ALWAYS HAVE. IM DOING SOMETHING FOR YOU. IM NOT ENTIRELY POWERLESS IN THE FACE OF YOUR POSSIBLE DEATH. I HAVE IT

there's just something unexplainable that i feel from that voice break, like he's lost all hope and suddenly, here it is, a semblance of what he used to always do for aziraphale which is little acts of love and service, and it just pulls him out of that funk so, so fast - it's like he's drowning and then suddenly it yanks him out and he GASPS in air as he says the line and his VOICE BREAKS AND GRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

[sharasays]

Signal Boost.

So my husband and I were about to go for a drive and he realized he had left his wallet inside. I volunteered to get it for him. It was in the pocket of his other pants. So I check the pockets and couldn’t find it. I check the back pockets too and then the front pockets again. I assume the wallet wasn’t there and call his phone to ask where else they might be.

He says “They’re definitely there. Front pocket, right-hand side.” So I check AGAIN and GODDAMN I stuck my whole entire hand and then some into the pocket and IT JUST KEPT GOING. Like I got my whole hand and wrist in there and then a little more and THERE was the damn wallet, at the bottom. It never even occurred to me that pockets could be that deep.

I go back and asked him how many virgins he had to sacrifice to get pants with pockets that big and he said “Um those are just regular guy pants” and my mind was blown.

Y’all he could have fit a wallet and a kindle and keys and a baby dragon and a cheeseburger in his pocket. I can barely get a nickel in mine.

Advice for girls: buy skinny jeans in the boy’s section

They’re more comfortable, still form fitting, and best of all: THE POCKETS. THEY HAVE ACTUAL POCKETS.

don’t believe me? look:

these are boys pants, and they look just as good on me as any other skinny jeans I own

See that phone? I’m going to put it in the pocket. Must be so small right??

Ah yes, girl pants length. Probably can’t fit any further than that-

what? what’s this?

Good god. Oh good lord in heaven. This is blasphemous.

Look at how much room is still there. There’s chaos in the streets. Babies are crying. Fashion designers are screaming out of fear of the unknown.

Buy your pants in the boys section, girls. Live in the beautiful world you deserve where you can fit shit in your pocket.

[sharasays]

100% accurate.

fanfiction is so wild cause im like…..ugh im not in the mood to read a book…..i’ll just read an 82k word fic instead……

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SORCERY. Definitely sorcery. Possibly science too.

.

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I love how my prime account sees that I’ve watched Good Omens and based on that recommends that I watch it again.

TEMPTATION ACCOMPLISHED.

[sharasays]

This is an excellent TED Talk. And Crowley gets so frustrated with Aziraphale for thinking God would listen to him if he just found the right channel (“you’re so clever, how can someone so clever be so stupid?!”). Aziraphale is deliberately ignoring the entirety of angel and human history in a futile effort to avoid facing the reality of the situation, that his side is just as wrong and needlessly cruel as the hellside and they need to GTFO.

“I won’t be forgiven. Not ever. That’s part of a demon’s job description. Unforgivable. That’s what I am.”

The thing that fucking guts me about these lines and the way Tennant delivers them is that…I don’t interpret them as Crowley saying that he is undeserving of forgiveness. I don’t believe that, deep down, Crowley actually thinks he is unworthy of forgiveness, because I don’t think Crowley thinks that what he did to get kicked out of Heaven was actually all that bad.

Look at how he talks about it throughout the series. His explanation keeps moving around. “I hung out with the wrong people.” “All I ever did was ask questions.” He even says, “I didn’t mean to.” This isn’t someone who made a bad choice, or even just a stupid choice, and has to learn to live with the consequences. This is someone who did something he didn’t even think could be bad and was confused and hurt when the punishment for it was so harsh. On some level he’s still trying to understand it.

And look at what he questions or objects to about human suffering. Disproportionality. (“Bit of an overreaction, if you ask me. First offense and all.”) Indiscriminateness. (“But they’re drowning everybody else? Even the kids?”) Mercilessness. (”You said you’d be testing them, but you shouldn’t test them to destruction.”) Punishments for breaking rules he sees as arbitrary. (“I don’t see what’s so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil.”) Situations he sees as a setup. (“Why put the tree in the middle of the garden?”) He has a deep sense of fairness, which includes the possibility of mercy and second chances.

When Crowley says unforgivable, I don’t think he thinks that he is innately unforgivable. I think he’s repeating back a label that was put on him. When he says I won’t be forgiven, it’s not a value judgment on himself. It’s an explanation of how God works. Crowley, more than any other character, has an accurate read on how God behaves and what to expect from Her. Not what She may or may not feel towards her creations deep down, but how She acts.

He’s not saying he thinks he’s undeserving of mercy. He’s saying we are all deserving of mercy, but we won’t get it. So don’t act like it’s going to come.

Crowley knows this from firsthand experience. Aziraphale still has hope, that God is merciful and will listen to appeals for help. And Crowley is trying to warn him, no, God isn’t like that. She’ll hurt you. Even as Aziraphale is rejecting him, Crowley’s still doing what he always does for Aziraphale. He’s trying to protect him. He’s still trying to protect him even in their second breakup scene outside the bookshop. (“There are no right people!”) But Aziraphale still has to go through his own experience of appealing to God for mercy and being bitterly disappointed before he gets it.

And the thing that’s just so heartbreaking is that even when Crowley knows full well what God can be like…he still talks to Her. He talks to Her more than any other character does, directly, not like you talk to a boss but like you talk to a family member. He still pleads with Her. He’s still going over what he did all those years ago to lose Her favor. He thinks the idea of sides and Heaven’s rigidity and hypocrisy are bullshit, and I don’t really think he would go back to being an angel if he had the chance. But there’s still some tiny part of him that wants God’s love and approval and mercy, even if most of him knows he should know better than to expect it.

[sharasays]

Feeling cute, might avert the apocalypse later.

aziraphale putting on his glasses like:

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It was like staring at the sun.

How could I ever want anything else?

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If you’re looking for a perfect Ineffable Husbands fanfic, I recommend this gorgeous work by Drawlight . It is called I Will Get Up Now And Go About This City and it is amazing (link above).

Hi, I don’t know if you’re overwhelmed with prompts by now (given how much your writing has been shining like a beacon for so many), but if you are: I’d be curious to see your take on something of Song of Songs.

[Hello! Hi! Thank you so much for this and the kindness! When I first saw this prompt, I about shrieked with joy since I could not envision a better way to end this series. Cannot ever. It’s perfect, the perfect prompt. You see, this entire series has been influenced by Song of Songs 3 (The title, I Will Get Up Now And Go About The City, is a line from it from the New International Version. The title for this ficlet is also taken from that very same part.) I also borrowed a little here from Shelley’s Ozymandias. For chronology’s sake, whether you choose to read as posted or chronologically, this is the very last one. It takes place after The Flowers Cover Over Everything. However, they all also stand alone and you do not need to have read the others to read this. (A quick note here that this one is rated Explicit.)

To everyone, thank you for reading along with me while this series was being formed. It’s been incredible and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it and you. As of the posting of this ficlet, this series is now complete.

And also, if you want more of the Ineffable Husbands being ineffable, please send me an ask with a prompt! I am doing them all but I note that this series is complete and all prompts will be stand-alones unless otherwise stated. (All the current ficlets exist within the same universe and they’re being posted to Ao3 under this collection - I Will Get Up Now And Go About The City.) ]

I Held Him And Would Not Let Him Go

The Cottage in the South Downs2033

Crowley is watching Aziraphale. Watching the hair catch the light, the hands drift gently across Crowley’s own stomach, his lean-long lines.

I’ve looked for you for so long. You were there the whole time, weren’t you? In the corners of rooms, down alleyways, in kitchens and graveyards. The streets and squares. I couldn’t find you (that’s my fault, I didn’t know how to look.) I was afraid then. (I pretended not to be.) 

“Do you remember the first time?” Aziraphale asks. They are laid out on the bed, a banquet of skin. It is warm today. This September day. Apples are growing in their tree out back, heavy and red. Ready to be picked. 

“Yes, always,” I remember every time. Crowley leans up, running a wide hand over Aziraphale’s bare chest. Up the shoulders to cup the neck, pulling Aziraphale down to kiss him. “But the details are getting a bit fuzzy, you know. Maybe,” he says with a quicksmirk eye, “Maybe you should remind me. You know, if you’re up for it.“ 

Keep reading

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Most of my favorite things I’ve ever read are fanfiction. Most of the most beautiful prose I’ve ever read is in fanfiction. Most of the best plotting I’ve ever read is in fanfiction. Most of the best character development I’ve ever read is in fanfiction. Most of the stories I go back to for comfort and inspiration over and over again are fanfiction. All of the interaction and discussion I’ve ever had with wonderful authors have been with folks who wrote fanfiction.

I 100% expect more from books and literature now that I’ve read a lot of fanfiction.

I’d like everyone to see this

{Credit to amalasrosa on Twitter}

[sharasays]

Headcannon accepted.

uhhhh headcanon that shakespeare got inspiration for the star-crossed lovers theme in his writing from crowley & aziraphale

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If you’re in The South and someone says “bless your heart” it means go fuck yourself.

 I’m afraid of Americans

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Fuck your agenda

So I think my favorite thing about Good Omens is how it enthusiastically attacks the way institutions try to force us into boxes where we don’t fit, using us as tools to serve their own agenda. Crowley and Aziraphale don’t fit In heaven or hell, they have been trapped for thousands of years in roles where they have to hide who they really are (on threat of literal destruction). They have had to sneak moments of being together so they could just be themselves in the company of someone who accepted them, and even though they have both tried hard to fill their respective roles they are still mistrusted and mocked by many from Their Different Sides for the ways they have asserted their individuality.

Cue the apocalypse, and them finally rejecting the boxes. Cue them standing next to Adam, the antichrist born to destroy the world, who is going through the same fucking thing. Heaven and hell are trying to use him as a tool for their own destructive bullshit agendas and there are our Angel and Demon on either side of him, over each shoulder. Doing what they’ve always been doing, influencing someone to make a choice, but it isn’t a choice between good and evil or heaven and hell because those dichotomies are bullshit. They tell him that all he has to do is be himself, that who he is is bigger and better than either box, that he isn’t anyone’s tool, that he controls his own fucking fate and they will stand beside him willing to die defending his right to just be himself. When the fate of the world hangs in the balance, the only way to break the stalemate of false dichotomies is to transcend all that. This, more than anything, was their ultimate act of rebellion and I am 100% here for it.

As someone who has never really fit anywhere, I love and appreciate that so much. And then there was the beautiful bonus of anathema deciding to forge her own fate at the end rather than being a Professional Descendant(TM) for the rest of her life and The Them destroying the horsemen just by speaking their own truths.

We are all more than what other people want to use us for.