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So I’ve been convinced that I’ve gained weight since I started teaching full-time. I haven’t been paying attention to my calorie intake, and I haven’t been exercising (working twelve hours every day really wears you out). I got on the scale today and realized that I’ve actually lost three more pounds. So far, I’m down 20.1 pounds.

So that was a nice surprise. Thus I’m treating myself with Dole Whip tonight from my favorite local ice cream shop. :)

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The flower shop got in rainbow tulips this week. Normally I'm not a huge fan of artificially dyed flowers, but these are awesome.

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i don’t know if elephants understand politics but i Highly doubt they would be republicans

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Remember: you’re only really a critical thinker if you also apply critical thinking to things you’re inclined to agree with.

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Nothing like a good migraine to put a complete stop to any productivity for an entire day.

One day in the far off future, someone will discover a cure for migraines, and I’m going to have to get my dead, lazy bones up to thank them personally.

In other news, I made a perfect omelette today during the time when my painkillers were working. It was perfect. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

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Something bad and weird happened tonight.

I don’t know how to feel. I can’t stop shaking.

I live with her mom and her boyfriend. We’ve lived together since my sophomore-isn year of college -- so for about four or five years. I’ve always gotten along well with her boyfriend. I’ve known him since I was fourteen. He’s very much a father to me. We have a very teasing relationship.

It’s been hard around home with Darby being so sick (we probably have a few weeks left with her, at most). Everyone’s very emotional and upset. Mom and I are dealing in our own ways. Her boyfriend isn’t really dealing at all.

Tonight, I was playing with Darby (who was happy to play back), and I could tell mom’s boyfriend was getting agitated. He kept trying to steal her attention. When he gave up, he was looking around me to watch the TV. Following the rules of our playful relationship, I moved my head so that his vision was blocked. I was messing around; I made it obvious. Very suddenly, he stood up, crossed his arms on his chest and charged at me. He knocked into me once, then one more time, and then I yelled for him to stop as I stumbled onto the wall.

I had sudden flashbacks of when I used to run away from my dad. He would get mad at me for the smallest things, and he would get explosively angry. I would run and close my bedroom door, and he used to bang at it for minutes at a time, shouting at me, cussing at me, demanding that I let him in. I would cry. I felt the terror of those moments all over again.

I just stood there against the wall for a second, as my mom, who was sitting in the room the entire time, asked, “What happened? What just happened?” I said shakily, “I don’t know. I was just messing around and he came at me.”

I started to head back to my room before he said to me, “Well, I’m sorry. I won’t ever touch you again.” He was being childish, like I had provoked him into pushing me, and it was my own fault that I was upset.

So I said, “That really upset me. I don’t know what I did to deserve that.” And I started crying, hard. Mom came over to hold me. I was shaking. I’m still shaking. This happened two hours ago. Mom walked me back to my room, and I tried to calm down.

I’ve always had trouble with any sort of physical intimacy. I can cuddle with and hug my mom and Darby, but that’s generally where I draw the line. I have a hard time hugging people or even casually touching them. I’ve tried to get better, but it’s something that I still struggle with. I often crave physical contact, but I find that acting on that craving or asking for contact is very difficult.

After about ten minutes, and a hushed discussion with my mom, he stood outside my door and apologized, saying he’d never interfere with me and Darby again. I was confused. I didn’t know what that meant. I still don’t. He wouldn’t -- or couldn’t -- elaborate. He went to bed.

My left arm, where he rammed into me, feels disconnected from my body. I’m not hurt in any physical way. My arm is fine. But it feels like an alien appendage. It’s tingly and achy and foreign, all at once. It feels changed.

Mom came to talk to me again. She offered to pack us up and go to a hotel. She offered to end her relationship with him. She offered to move us out right then and there. I said no. She asked how I was feeling. I didn’t know how to respond. I don’t know what the future holds, so I don’t know how to feel about the present.

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My ability to work hard in order to not express emotions has been activated to level 100.

I got shit done tonight.

And Darby wheezes in the next room.

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WOMEN’S APPRECIATION WEEK - Day Five: Favorite Inspirational Character We have to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles and work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.

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Everything you are going through is preparing you for everything you asked for.

(via in-my-own-world1)

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I've been in bed since 7:30. Life as a teacher, folks.

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i salsa your face

I NACHO YOUR SUNGLASSES!

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Life is crazy.

Hello! I'm not going to say that I'm "back" after this recent hiatus; I just want to say hi.

Some brief life updates: -I went to visit two friends in NY. That was good. -Darby is still doing okay. She's slowing down a lot. She's currently in my bed next to me snoring. She has her nose buried into my quilt. It's very cute. -Today was supposed to be my first day at school for my long-term subbing position. School was canceled due to the freezing rain. Now I have to reconfigure all my plans. -I've finished all my appointments for my Peace Corps medical clearance. I'm still waiting on one lab result, but once I get that submitted next week, all my medical clearance paperwork (for this round at least) should be complete!

It might not seem like a lot, but this is the busiest I've been in a long time. I'm trying to figure out how to balance all of this -- and more stuff that's not on the list above. That means that social media like tumblr have really taken a back seat. (And I still have yet to watch the HTGAWM season finale!)

I hope you're all doing well. I promise, I'm not trying to ignore you! xx

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The year is 2015 AD. The human race has existed for over 200,000 years. Men still think women pee out of the vagina.

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Times have changed.

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IM SO HIGH ON SNL RIGHT NOW I NEVER WANT TO COME DOWN FROM IT

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thewine-darksea replied to your photo:MWAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY! OH MY GOD YOU DID IT??!???!?! I’M STILL TRYING.

IT JUST KIND OF MAGICALLY HAPPENED THIS MORNING OUT OF NOWHERE. (But now the game has slowed down hugely. Every move takes at least a second to process. I don't know what I did to deserve this punishment.)