sammichbreadalmighty

[sammichbreadalmighty]

PINNED POST

idk what this is for I just felt like pinning a post

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It’s October you know what that means

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noone:

that one teammate who got the charger on a griller wave:

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splatoon is my coping mechanism

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Be ungovernable, little dude

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So I was showing my mother a picture on my phone when I accidentally swiped right, leading to this being the image on the screen. She was very confused.

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The duality of man

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I wonder what it would be like to have sex with Johnny Storm, like I just wonder if he would randomly go on fire and give you 4th degree burns inside of you

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Update, she just said she remembered another kid said “skibidi” and asked what that meant aswell

My primary school teacher mum just asked me what a sigma is… I really don’t know how I should react to this.

[sammichbreadalmighty]

My primary school teacher mum just asked me what a sigma is… I really don’t know how I should react to this.

[sammichbreadalmighty]

･ ｡ ☆∴ ｡　* 　･ﾟ *｡★･ 　　 ･ *ﾟ｡　　 * 　 ･ ﾟ｡･ﾟ★｡ ☆ﾟ･｡°. *　　ﾟ｡·･｡ ﾟ 　　 　ﾟ *.｡☆｡ ★　･ 　　 * ☆ ｡･ﾟ*.｡ 　　　 *　★ ﾟ･｡ * ｡ 　　　　 ･　　ﾟ☆ ｡

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I call bullshit

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Walmart

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Woah really?!???!! I would’ve thought that it would’ve been completely unslippery when wet. Thanks signs.

[sammichbreadalmighty]

I think I just figured out how to solve the current political crisis in America…

And hear me out now…

a mop.

Think about it.

Ever since that debate, a lot of people have been thinking “I’ll take anyone but these two guys”, but the problem is that they are the only two real candidates, no one else has enough backing to actually have a realistic chance. So I present to you,

a mop.

Biden and Trump have only ever done harm or just done nothing at all when they were president, so why not vote for someone who literally can’t do anything.

a mop.

Like, they can’t do harm the country if they’re literally not doing anything. Right?

a mop.

Considering that right wingers will almost definitely vote for Trump no matter what shit he pulls or does, and considering that leftists don’t really want to vote for Biden (they only really ever voted for Biden because he wasn’t Trump), we need someone for leftists to rally behind.

a mop.

If we vote all unorganised, all voting for whatever name we find the coolest that isn’t Trump or Biden, we have no chance at getting any of our candidates into office. But, if we all come together and support a goddamn mop, maybe, just maybe, we have a chance.

Why a mop, you may be asking?

Well, a mop is quite appealing you see. Everyone has a mop. No one hates mops with a passion (except my aunt Susan). And mops can be quite useful in a wide range of scenarios. If you’re trying to figure out who you want to vote for, why the hell not just go with the mop? Plus, it makes for a good tagline (probably something along the lines of “mopping the floor with the other candidates”).

So vote mop 2024!!!!!

[sammichbreadalmighty]

Chivalry is dead and I killed it by luring it into a back alley and shooting it on its way home from its job as a Walmart greeter.