sam-not-sammie

[sam-not-sammie]

Seeing a conversation about being kind to others be stripped of its nuance and turned into a debate on whether or not people deserve human decency just based on the concept that people are overworked and are “too tired” for social interaction is so disheartening to me.

No one expects you to be everyone’s best friend, but acknowledging someone’s existence and experience is a free action and allows for overall a more positive and meaningful experience for everyone involved!

I work an incredibly emotionally and mentally strenuous job, and yes, I am EXHAUSTED at the end of the day. On top of it all, I am chronically ill, disabled, and also the primary financial provider for my family. So yeah, it’s exhausting to work over 40 hours a week, and still have more to do outside of that.

That being said though, it is not my right to take that out on the people I work with whether they are coworkers or clients. It is my job not just as an employee but as a fellow HUMAN to greet, meet, and provide a base level of care and sympathy, especially when the people I work with are almost always dealing with external pressures and issues too. It is not my place to be the judge of who is and who isn’t deserving of kindness and respect.

I understand being tired. I understand being disabled. I understand living in the hell that is late-stage capitalism. And at the same time, I am able to understand that all of humanity is in this together, many of us trying our damnedest to make it by day by day.

Something else I’m seeing people not understand is that just because something is not a third space to you, does not mean it isn’t for others, and just because you are having a bad time doesn’t give you the right to take it out on other people, especially when you have no idea what someone else is going through.

“Well but third spaces are places where people can socialize outside of work or school!”

Ok, but even in common third spaces like parks, libraries, shopping malls, people STILL work, and its important to understand that a third space to you is not always what a third space is to someone else. It is unfair to treat others poorly just because “your third space isn’t a grocery store/bank/school.” What about the gardeners and landscaping staff who keep your third space park in order? What about the librarians? What about office workers? Or teachers?

There’s nuance to this conversation because people forget that for so many people who are overworked, they don’t have access to third spaces that are typically enjoyed by others! But dont they deserve kindness and respect at their third spaces? Does the ER nurse who is severely overworked and underpaid deserve to be treated like they are invisible or worse, like shit, when they are simply trying to grab a meal at a fast food chain? Do restaurant employees deserve to be completely dismissed when going to the bank to deposit their tip money? Do teachers deserve to be ignored when they try to make conversation in the break room, just because “they’re at work so it’s not a third space”?

No! This is why the conversation about community and basic kindness is so important! Kindness is free and it doesn’t take that much more energy to give basic decency to others. Toxic individualism and bastardized therapy speech has convinced people that their own self comfort is more important than being considerate of other’s circumstances regardless of what they might be. Was it difficult for me to feel like myself after experiencing a horrendous flashback? Yes. Was it also amazing to see the face of the trans woman I worked with (immediately after said flashback) light up when i told her that she wasn’t alone and that her name was beautiful? Also yes!

These things can coexist and if we want to foster community and a better existence, we need to prioritize taking it upon ourselves to create that better experience for all we come in contact with. It cannot happen overnight and it cannot happen without radical action.

[sam-not-sammie]

Today i’m reminded of that old post about pets not understanding on a literal level what human emotions are (like love) but still show and express their fondness for their caretakers to their fullest extent

This morning my cat and my partner had to wake up to me screaming from another PTSD induced nightmare. My partner held my hand and reminded me what was real and what wasn’t, and our cat moved from the foot of the small bed the three of us share and laid high on my chest until my breathing leveled, purring louder than he ever has before.

When i woke up again two hours later, both were still curled up next to me. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.

[sam-not-sammie]

Thanks for saving my laundry

A lot of adulthood is shouting “AUGH MY LAUNDRY” hours after you put it in the washer/dryer and running to go fetch it

[sam-not-sammie]

TW: DV

Hearing my therapist mention today how my C-PTSD diagnosis stems from being in an extended domestic violence/domestic abuse situation really put things into perspective how badly my abusers fucked me up. Like, I knew it felt bad but I didn’t realize HOW bad it actually was.

[sam-not-sammie]

Ooooh epic girlies (mostly on TikTok) I am BEGGING you to learn the mythology because no. No no no Circe and Calypso are not girlboss. No you do not want to ship them with Odysseus.

Girl I am begging you. Do not call original Odysseus a cheater I am still saying it. Don’t go down this path girl. Hold my hand and we will read the myths together so you understand

[sam-not-sammie]

I dunno man. I found out today that a subway sandwich is $14 now. A shitty subway footlong sandwich that isn't actually 12 inches long and is occasionally made with expired ingredients and was never a great option to start with. I ate those in high school because I was broke and at the mall a lot.

There are poke bowls in my city from a local place for $16. Super fresh fish and veg, warm rice, more than I can eat in one sitting, for the price of a sandwich and a drink at america's most mid-tier sandwich shop.

Someone in another post said (paraphrased) you used to be able to get something mediocre for cheap, but now the mediocre things cost as much as the nice things so why would you?

[sam-not-sammie]

How to cope when you get jumpscared by your abusers on social media when you literally have both of them blocked… asking for a friend

[sam-not-sammie]

Yeah I love manipulating my friends for my own gain, the gain is called "hanging out", obtained via such cruel tactics as "showing interest in stuff they like" and "being generally complimentary and charming"

[sam-not-sammie]

love in the time of liches

[sam-not-sammie]

No cops. Just erika ishii in a gundam.

no cops at pride, just erika ishii in a gundam

[sam-not-sammie]

I love the moon she's so pretty

[sam-not-sammie]

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

[sam-not-sammie]

Tao Yang that was a terrible charcuterie board (sans board) and you are now my enemy

[sam-not-sammie]

Pool Day with Psyduck.

[sam-not-sammie]

The thing is lads I cannot think of a better use for my tax dollars than feeding children. I want my taxes to give the single mother of three healthcare. I want my taxes to take care of the elderly and the disabled. I don’t care if they’re citizens or legal residents or whatever. I want my taxes to help people. Because we’re trying to live in a goddamn society. Instead my taxes go towards bombing schools and hospitals and refugee camps. Billions and billions sent to proxy wars. And still people quibble over whether we should feed children. What are we doing here. Feed the kids.

[sam-not-sammie]

[sam-not-sammie]

Oh so when Jesus goes against the authority and argues against hypocrisy and trashes a place it's "holy" and "righteous" but when I do it it's "illegal" and "against the law"