sage-nilsen-blog - Tumblr blog

[sage-nilsen-blog]

“Is that the place with the amazing ice cream?” Sage asked eyebrows furrowed, she’d been trying her hand at getting out more recently. It was getting easier to act normal. 

“I may have wandered over to George’s for a vegan chocolate cupcake. I’m not even a vegan. They’re that good.”

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“Oh? He lives in the Oaks?” she asked wondering if she’d met the girls brother. Victoria didn’t really look like anyone she knew. “How are you liking it so far?” she wondered, Sage had quickly fell into the city, she loved it almost as much as she loved her place back home. “Not terribly far no, it’s north west from here, next to Wisconsin” Sage clarified. “Geography wasn’t my best subject either.”

“I don’t mind,” Victoria smiled. “I want to say work, but not really; or life, I guess makes more sense,” she said, reaching to untie her hair, shaking her head to let it fall over her shoulders. “One of my brothers lives here, but I’ve also never been here, so I figured I could come and check out the city,” she explained. “Minnesota? That’s… not too far from here, is it? I was never good in school,” she admitted. 

[sage-nilsen-blog]

 imanipinkett:

“But that would be too much work. Ugh. The downfalls of being short.” Imani fake pouted. It was also funny in and of itself how their conversations could be fun and lighthearted while also dipping into more serious topics. It just all flowed out whenever they spoke. “Yeah, that’s true. I know I’ll always have them, but it just feels weird how we’re all in different places in our lives at once. Josh is doing his residency and he has a steady girlfriend. Zeke is in college playing football, while trying to figure out what he wants to major in. And Dex….well Dex is just out here being a DJ and ladies man.” She chuckled a little. “They’re the closest things I have to siblings and I just can’t help wishing I didn’t have to move all those years ago.”

Imani’s eyebrow kinda raised when Sage avoided the Renee question. Sure, it’s possible she caught on to how Imani was changing the subject but that didn’t count for the frown on her face.  “There’s really not much inbetween. I did a little partying, but my job only let me have so much time away so I came back. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to come back to Twin Oaks at first though. I left so abruptly and I thought it would be awkward if I came back. Obviously, I still did it anyway and here I am.” She ended with a shrug.

“We just have to find you a nice big burly man that can lift you up when you need it” Sage smiled, she scooted up on her bed so her back rested against the wall, her legs stretched out in front of her. She undoubtedly missed the blonde and Sage wanted to keep her here forever so they could talk and watch friends and she wouldn’t feel the sinking in her heart anymore. “But how many awesome people have you met since moving to Chicago” Sage pointed to herself. “Maybe you can try to keep in touch a bit more, keep the connection strong, maybe make it stronger. Life has a way of pulling people apart, but you can decide if you want to be pulled back together” she offered up. 

Sage listened as Imani vaguely explained again and sighed, there was no way around it but both of them kept fishing for reasons not to talk about things. “You’re always welcome in my apartment, I missed you so much! I wish I would’ve called or texted but you just seemed like you needed space I didn’t want to impose I guess” Sage said, trying to lead the conversation into a different direction. Keep the questions off of herself. “Have you eaten, do you want to order take out? I’d offer something from here but I haven't been to the store in a while” she reached for her phone. 

Hello, it’s me || imani & sage

[sage-nilsen-blog]

Sage walked beside Jay, eyes to the ground, she’d occasionally turn her head to look at the man as he told his story about the man with the boat. She was honestly glad he did all the talking, she could nod and smile whenever something was funny or something needed understanding. She chuckled as he laughed “noted, if I ever have anything exciting I won’t bring it out often.”

The boats looked beautiful docked, even without being out in the open water. Sage could practically feel the excitement dripping off of Jay. She was sure any second he’d start bouncing up and down, and she smiled softly at him. Following behind to the boat he pointed to, it was huge, and she’d never been on one that big before. “Oh wow, that’s huge” she murmured in awe. She swallowed hard seeing the small crowd on the deck, a bit nervous about being around people, she just hoped she could swallow it down long enough. “What do we do first” she smiled trying to push down the nerves, scratching at her arm. 

Sage & Jay | Indepence, please.

They’d been walking for a good 15 minutes now and Jay was in the middle of a story about the owner of the boat. When they were in college the guy had bought the boat and proceeded to make everyone come out every weekend until people finally got sick of it and it became more of a rarity. “Moral of the story - even if you like something a lot, most people will get sick of it quickly,” he laughed. “Now it’s like a yearly thing.”

The docks were in front of them, hundreds of people were on the streets trying to find the best view on the side of the lake. They were going to have the perfect view though - right under the show. He was almost giddy with excitement. Jay loved how Chicago came alive for Independence Day. He never really got to experience July 4th until he came here and now he never missed it. “That’s us!” He pointed to one of the larger boats, about a dozen people on deck and surely more below. “Come on, this way!” He smiled brightly, leading her through the dock walk ways in the direction of the boat which had stairs out for them to board.

[sage-nilsen-blog]

You have to accept that some chapters in our lives have to close without closure. There’s no point in losing yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.

Anonymous (via wnq-anonymous)

[sage-nilsen-blog]

“I’m not trying to sound patronizing, but if you want to talk about stuff, you can...” Sage offered with a small smile. The small amount of time she spent with Aiden she enjoyed his company. She continued on up the stairs turning her head slightly to see him still cradling his arm, her eyebrows furrowed with worry “do you think you need to go to the doctor?” she asked. 

“It’s just a hobbie for now, I’m hoping it turns into more someday, but that’s a shot in the void” she shrugged as the reached the door to the roof she pushed it open. 

Aiden let out a scoff at her comment. He wanted to laugh, but truth is he was terrified of everything at the moment. All his life, he had lived and fight through everything and anything not to come out as such, a disappointment, to everyone he knew: his mother, his father, his friends, his sister. Yet at the end of the line, he was sure it would all end up like that eventually. He shook his head as they headed upstairs, his strides slower than hers, but taking up to two or three steps at a time. 

“Come on, don’t make me sound so boring, please?” Aiden raised an eyebrow, looking at her from the corner of his eye, still cradling his arm with the other. “You a photographer then or just a hobbie?” He said, trying to keep his mind away from his frustrations for at least a couple minutes.

[sage-nilsen-blog]

Sage looked at the female, hat covering most of her face, yet she still looked familiar. “Uhm, I can barely see you face”

“Aren’t hats supposed to be good disguise? I must need a better hat.”

[sage-nilsen-blog]

audreykathrynns-wonderland:

I came to realize that after watching a ton of Iron Chef episodes that I make very boring dishes. I really need to expand my horizon.

 “I thought you were a performer?” she asked hearing Audrey speak up.  

[sage-nilsen-blog]

“What brings you to Chicago, if you don’t mind my asking?” she asked turning her head slightly to look at Victoria now that the blush had disappeared. “No, not from here. If we talk long enough you’ll hear the accent. I’m from Minnesota” she gave Victoria a small smile hoping it’d rid of the awkward energy. She hated to feel uncomfortable.  

“Something like that–” Victoria said with a nod, biting on her bottom lip to try and make herself seem smaller, folding her ands behind her back, rocking back and forth on her feet. “I’ve been here a couple weeks, but it’s my first time around, so everything is still pretty new,” she admitted with a cordial smile. “I take it then you weren’t born here?”

[sage-nilsen-blog]

madison-soltesz:

Going back to work after an amazing trip to New York just isn’t fun at all. On another note, at least the kids missed me.

“Did you at least get a day before having to go back in?”

[sage-nilsen-blog]

Sage turned her gaze away from Victoria, feeling a little awkward she wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, so she locked her fingers together and began fidgeting with her thumbs. “Don’t feel too bad, I haven’t been around much recently. But I have lived her for almost eight months now. Are you new to Chicago?” she asked trying to break the tension she’d caused. 

“I’ll try to do pretty handwriting then,” she said with a grin, noticing the blush tainting the girl’s cheeks. She feeling slightly bad about it and biting on her bottom lip, she tried to act as if she hadn’t said a thing before. “Oh– I’ve just never seen you around. Thought I’d managed to meet everyone, but I guess I was wrong.”

[sage-nilsen-blog]

“Why were you in jail?” Sage asked, truthfully that would be her deciding factor. Truthfully she was afraid of the answer, if he even chose to tell her. “Health care is what helps you pay for medical bills...” her eyebrows furrowed together and she looked at him quizzically. She was constantly baffled by how unaware he was. “They cover so much of your medical bills so you don’t have to pay so much.?”

“Yeah,” Daniel nodded, hoping she didn’t make a big deal of it. It was in the past and it wouldn’t become a problem if he stayed out of trouble. “What’s health care.” Daniel needed her help but he was hesitant to ask. He didn’t want her to think he was using her as a Renee replacement.

[sage-nilsen-blog]

[sage-nilsen-blog]

Sage wasn’t sure what she was doing, but that had been a lot of her life recently. Things still had yet to make sense, and to be honest she had quit trying to understand. She didn’t know Aiden very well, he was just a few interactions that led to funny conversation, but that was the summary of her relationships with most the people of the Oaks. Sage was a very intuitive person, often picking up on underlying emotions, though Aiden’s were clear on the surface. “Yeah life is full of those” she shrugged nonchalantly, leading them up the flight of stairs, it was the easiest way up to the roof. 

She looked at the time on her phone. “I mean we can get to it, pretty sure it’s frowned upon but I’ve memorized the schedule for the guards” she looked over at Aiden. “Are you opposed to possibly breaking a law?” she asked letting go of his hand, she was prepared to go on her own. Her camera in the satchel she carried, she would just take pictures. “I’ve been up here a few times, I like taking pictures of the city”

Aiden ran his good hand through his hair, messing it up even further, but alongside the heavy sigh that left his lips seemed to relieve some of the frustration he was feeling that morning. “No alcohol? Well, that’s a disappointment,” he joked with a little chuckle, although he wouldn’t have minded at all a couple drinks or a hundred. He just placed it lower on his to-do list. Aiden looked at their hands together, though he did nothing to take it back, he just followed Sage towards the elevators, he assumed. “The roof? I didn’t know we had access to the roof.”

[sage-nilsen-blog]

“Well don’t fret, I am up and moving, and I won’t go kicking and screaming. I appreciate your selfish act of kindness” Sage smiled at Jay. She spoke but it all felt out of body, like somehow she was watching everything that was happening, she felt like a puppet on strings picking up social queues and coming up with remarks as she saw them fit. 

Sage watched as he walked out of her room and hurried into the bathroom, taking a quick shower and getting dressed. Took her no longer than ten minutes, she spent a good part staring at herself in the mirror. She felt like a shadow of herself and she wanted to kick herself for it. If it was just for one night even, she would attempt to forget the name that brought her to this place. If anything she would feed off the good, because of her, Sage was able to tear down so many of the walls she’d built up. So much muck clouded the good, she allowed herself a moment to be mad for allowing herself to let her anger and hurt cloud over all the good that came from the relationship. Short lived as it felt, one fact stood; if it wasn’t for Renee, she’d be in far worse of a place. 

Startled out of her thoughts by the swift knock on the door, Sage checked herself one last time “yeah, ready! Coming” she called through the closed door. “Just have fun, Nilsen” she muttered to herself under her breath before opening the door. She decided on something more patriotic wearing red shorts, adorned with a navy blue belt, and her white t*shirt tucked on one side. “You lead the way” she offered him a small smile. 

Sage & Jay | Indepence, please.

“Take you out, shake you from your slump, one and the same. If I leave now knowing you’re here in the same spot all night watching television again I will worry all night because that is something I do. So I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for me,” he told her, his tone joking the whole time. He was in a sense doing it for both of them - bonding time. What better time than watching fireworks and eating good food?

He mock saluted her then went to play games whilst on the couch. He was already dressed and ready to go. Jay checked the clock and stood up, knocking on Sage’s door. “Sage we got to get going in a few minutes - you ready?” He called out to the girl, hoping she was least not in the shower still. 

[sage-nilsen-blog]

“All else fails we can get you a step stool you can lug around” Sage laughed again, it felt strange to hear it escape her own lips. The smile quickly turned into a wry as Imani spoke of her trip. Sage was unclear on why exactly the now blonde left, but she knew that Imani had to at the time, that much was clear in the voicemail. Her explanation still left a lot to the imagination, and Sage wondered if she’d ever get the full story. Sage followed suit, picking her legs off the floor and crossing them on the bed. “Sometimes the memories are the best part, and you’re still family, that much stays the same. They will always be a place you can run to” she chewed on the inside of her cheek.

Sage sighed at Imani’s question, her lips turning down into a frown once again. “I want to hear about you though, you didn’t give me much. You went to California, saw family and then what? Between California and here what happened?” she asked, not really wanting to explain, or the conversation to be turned on her. Though she knew Imani was exactly who she wanted to talk to about it all. 

Hello, it’s me || imani & sage

“Oh of course. Hopefully that can help. It might be a lost cause though.” Imani joked, laughing. She kicked her shoes off and sat cross legged on Sage’s bed. It felt so safe being in the room and it felt a little like home as well. “I’m honestly don’t know. I guess it’s better to know than not to. Plus, it was still good to see their faces. It brought up some good memories and we did have some good laughs. Just sad to know those are mostly gonna stay in the past.” She reached to play with the ends of her hair but when she felt air she sighed as she remembered it was cut. It was different. Everything was different. “I’m just happy to be back now. What about you? How are you? How is Renee? Fill me.” She smiled, ready to hear some good news.

[sage-nilsen-blog]

I want you to drunk text me. I want you to think about me. Please fucking think about me sometimes because the only thing I do is think about you

(via nakedly)