s133pybunny - Tumblr blog

[s133pybunny]

Do it to never be the "DUFF" again </3

the sweet perfect amazing boy i like has a crush on my gorgeous model-skinny bsf.

he kissed my hand when us and the rest of the group were drunkenly laying out on my lawn to star gaze. he was so sweet and warm to me. we laughed together and he treated me like a princess. when we went for a cig walk he even stayed back and walked slowly with me cuz my legs felt too weak from not eating all day and drinking way too much. no one, not any of my exes, has ever been so gentle with me.

i called myself fat in front of him, which yes, i very much am, and he frowned and told me i wasn't and that i shouldn't ever say those kinds of things about myself.

I rly thought this pretty, sweet, silly, boy would maybe take a chance on a fat whale like me...

but that same night he told our mutual friend who we met through, one of my closest guy friends who i already told i had a crush on him to, that he found my beautiful tall skinny could be a model bsf.

my friend told me that night when i was debating on being more bold since we all slept at my place.

I am so humiliated.

i don't want to be the duff anymore :/

lost another 4lbs since that night (last friday) tho so ig it was great motivation...

[s133pybunny]

hate my body most (every) day but took this before i left for tennis today (203lbs and 5'1)

ik im still a fat pig but i feel like my waist looks better than it normally does and it's spiking my motivating 🥳

still fatsp0 tho lol but i'm working on it ‼️

starting school now too so im rly locking in 😇

[s133pybunny]

i've never been so upset i didn't js lose the weight already as i am rn :(

met the cutest sweetest boy yesterday at a party, he is super pretty, sweet, silly, he even gave me a cute awkward hug goodnight after asking if i needed help cleaning up 15 times and trying to keep me from vaping while drunk all night since i joked about quitting. He even shared a fan with me when we were all sweating from playing soccer, sat next to me on the floor.

My two bsfs and the two only other girls there who are both skinny and gorg and taken, told me he was talking to me a lot and was rly nice to me, and even one of their bfs agreed, but i know for a fact that i have no shot bc im still so so so fat.

All i could think abt the whole night was how perfect he was and how i have no chance in hell with this amazing guy js bc im probably 2x his weight.

this is my sign to lock the fuck in.

[s133pybunny]

i love having a naturally model type skinny bsf.

I adore her sm, like being around her makes me feel so free, and it helps that one look at her collar bones or her insane thigh gap before glancing at a mirror makes ⭐️ving sm easier <3

istg my bmi is def twice hers, and me being like 6 inches shorter doesn't help either. Walking with her in public and watching how ppl treat and look at her makes me wanna go run till i collapse ‼️

[s133pybunny]

TITOS‼️

DROP ZERO CALORIE ALCOHOL.

AND MY LIFE IS YOURS 😔

[s133pybunny]

extremely effective new ana motivation js dropped today 😍

js found out one of my close guy friends, the boy who took me to the gym when i was too scared to go alone, reminded me to eat more constantly, and who i genuinly trusted a lot and rly liked (like a brother) called me a "fat bitch" to the rest of my current close friends almost a yr ago when I was first being brought into the friend group.

I was deep in b/p cycle, and was really struggling to loose the weight i already lost at the time, and i was so terrified bc i was fat all the ppl in the group i didn't rly know yet would bully me, but since nothing was ever said to my face i js thought they genuinly didn't care/notice.

I've recently got my shit back tgr and lost 20lbs in less than two months, and i still have much more to go, but learning that he not only said that, but some of the other guys who i now consider close friends laughed, and the only person to stick up for me was my now bsf (she already knew abt my bed and mia) genuinly made me want to vomit and sob. (my bsf didn't tell me then bc she was scared it would trigger me and instead told him off and he apologized "immediately", but me and the guy friends gym sessions came up and she kinda js said it since i made a joke abt being a fatass w a gym rat for a gym buddy)

I am honestly beyond humiliated. I want to block everyone and isolate so i can focus on school and becoming so skinny no one could ever call me a fat bitch again. This is fueling my need to prove ppl wrong and get so sick they regret ever saying anything.

idk sorry for venting, i'm js so upset and paranoid they all think im a fat cow loser but also now im soooo gunna lose another 20lbs asap.

[s133pybunny]

back on edtumblr and edtwt, i rly myself go this time but i can feel the honeymoon phase returning ‼️

[s133pybunny]

i'm back!! i almost got hospitalized during finals for not sleeping and like having mental breakdowns daily but ur girl managed her way outa that 😭

anyways, totally was a fat pig bc i was js a whole mess all of last week, so starting tmr i'm fasting for at least 3 days, dm to join lol 🤭

[s133pybunny]

y'all i'm actually so sad, like i've been binging so bad the past 2 days.

i've just been stress eating bc of school, and like it's making it worse, since my stomach is hurting so bad since it's not used to food 😭

anyways, my crush (a man who is too old for me and also my coach and also treats me like a little sister) touched my shoulder today and said he liked my glasses, so that was cool lol!! i think i have bigger issues than @na lmao 💀

i want him more than anything.

[s133pybunny]

i smoked WAY too much 🍃 and ate a whole bowl of panera mac and cheese while sobbing..so now ig i'm gunna stay sober till i reach my first gw 😭

i have 0 self control otherwise 😔

also i'm so scared of my finals coming up, if i fail any im ⭐️ving for a week!!

[s133pybunny]

my left leg hurts so bad for no damn reasonnnn, at least it's a good distraction from my stomach... </3

[s133pybunny]

there is no moving on from ana for me,

i've "gotten better" dozens of times, yet i run back into her arms over and over again.

It's me and her till the end, and only one of us is making it out.

it's almost romantic lol

[s133pybunny]

I NEED A CRUSH 😔😔

having a crush (specifically someone i have to see super often) is literally the best motivation for me, but there are genuinly no options at my tiny ass school :,)

[s133pybunny]

my new biggest motivation is promising myself a cute emo shopping spree at my ugw <3

lost another 2lbs!! stay strong babies :)

[s133pybunny]

Once i'm skinny, every single one of my problems will simply ✨disappear✨ (gaslighting at its finest)

i'm being dead serious tho.

[s133pybunny]

i wish i could hide away from the world till i reach my ugw, i can't stand anyone seeing me like this.

[s133pybunny]

any reality show/youtube recs for @n motive?? 🙏

i binged watched like all of supersize vs. superskinny...so i need more things to watch 😭