ruan566

[ruan566]

To Asagiri, gege and horikoshi,

HELLO WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK?!??! WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS WHAT THE FUCK?!??

MAYBE SOMETHING HAS POSSESSED YOU THREE TO DO THIS TOGETHER BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?

What's with THAT ending MHA?!?? AND Gege WHEN I CATCH YOU GEGE JUST..PLEASE JUST KILL US ALL AND BE DONE WITH IT....WHY ARE YOU TORTURING US?!?

AND ASAGIRI JUST... WHAT THE FUCK?!? HELLO WHAT EXACTLY IS HAPPENING?!??

[ruan566]

Just imagine this being an au where Tom is some prince harry was the master of death sworn to side by Tom the guardian of life, but then Harry "betrays" him and leaves.

Tom who was in love with Harry is so so broken hearted over this then he finds out that Harry is actually alive, he hates Harry but can't bear to see him die, so he goes to meet Harry in the prison cell one last time so he can set Harry free

Turns out that Harry doesn't have his memories tom desperately trying to convince himself that he indeed doesn't love Harry anymore, no sir. Nope nada nahi nah impossible preposterous

He just doesn't want to be a model prince he's.......got morals as steeped in black as they are (SHUT UP NAGINI HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HARRY WITH HIS ....soft hair sweet shy smiles adorable eyes laughs like a sunny day, anger like a storm, and the will of a tsunami.)

And boy oh boy down the rabbit hole he goes...

Turns out Riddle's schemes to fool the nobles that he was actually on their side and believed in their ideals worked a little .....too well and famed traitor Dumbledore manipulated Harry into believing that Tom was actually some evil guy whose soul was torn apart

Harry desparately tries to believe in Tom, but as the schemes of Grindelwald, the king in charge till Tom comes of age, and Tom unfold Harry isn't sure anymore

He wants what's best for Tom but he can't kill him so he leaves coz he doesn't want to see Tom become worse.

He doesn't want to see those reddish brown eyes be steeped in darkness or those charming secretive smiles as if Tom is hiding his joy from the world disappear into laughter that isn't one born from joy. For Harry can do everything but watch the man he loves die while he's alive.

And now Harry without his memories doesn't know who to trust most people tell him tom is cruel but the prince is nothing but kind to him and he isn't...... bad he's just not a good person.....

And thus we go as Tom tries to prevent Harry from getting his memories fearing Harry will leave him while Harry tries to get back his memories fearing Tom would leave him if he doesn't have them

All in the middle of delicious court drama and politics

"Do I know you?" Harry asked the cloaked man in front of him.

The stranger looked down on him, his eyes narrowed, and it made Harry shiver in fear. His mind was telling him to run as fast as he could, but his heart told him to stay.

"Apparently not.”

“Oh… It’s just… you feel familiar to me,” Harry said, scratching the back of his neck. “Like I’ve known you all my life.”

“I can assure you. You mean nothing to me.” The stranger’s face twisted, almost in pure hatred.

Harry frowned. It’s obvious he’s telling the truth… and yet it didn’t feel like that for Harry. “I think a part of me loved you. Whoever I was before. I don’t remember anything. But I do know that you were special to me.” He smiled at the stranger. “I guess it’s better this way, isn’t it?”

The stranger paused. If he was shocked by the confession, he didn’t show it. 

Harry took the opportunity to walk away, fearing he made the man upset.

“Even without your memories, your presence still affects me, Harry.” He chanted a spell and waved his hand. Harry’s body was frozen. He had no control of his limbs. 

“I thought I meant nothing to you!” Harry shouted, voice full of panic.

“I thought so, too,” he said coldly, then knocked Harry out.

[ruan566]

Shits my hc no one can take it from me

Short stories part two in comin' guys! Idk how much I've made since the last one, so here goes-

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Chuuya: I can't fuckin' hear ya! Kunikida: Well, fine, I'll come clos- Chuuya: IM TOO BUSY NOT LISTENIN' TO YA

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Tachihara: My disguise is flawless! Chuuya: Oh yeah? does not know who this guy is What does it look like? Tachihara: brandishes his signature band-aid Chuuya: Raises brow Tachihara: puts it on Chuuya: jumps like a cat HOLY SHI--TACHIHARA?! WHERE IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID YOU COME FRO-

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(Chuuya doesn't like people touching him)

Chuuya: choking on carrots Someone random: I know the hemlock, I know how to help! Chuuya: frantically yelps NO! dies

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Fukuzawa: All I ask is for you to hug them. Chuuya: looks frantically at Shin (I will not give them the high and mighty title of Soukoku) Y-you're kidding. Awkward chuckle. Fukuzawa: Fatherly raise-eyebrow look. Chuuya: Eheheh…eheh…oh come on… Also Chuuya: Slowly looks to Shin and specifically looks at Akutagawa Atsushi: Awkwardly raises arms Chuuya: Stumbles over, tries to raise his arms to hug them both and pulls away last second Nope. Nope. Can't do this. I'd rather vomit. I actually can't look at his face. Jogs over to where Dazai was while watching from the side-lines Dazai: Chicken. Chuuya: Oh shut up, dumbass. You would have killed them had they touched me. Hiss.

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Dazai: Wanna see a magic trick? Chuuya: takes a moment before he understands Oh shit- Atsushi: OOh, sure! Dazai: grabs Chuuya before the avian can escape Guys, c'mere!~ Chuuya: DAZAI NO-DON'T YOU DARE YOU SWORE TO ME- Kunikida, Ranpo, Kenji and Yosano: Wander over grudgingly except for Kenji Chuuya: Fuck fuck fuck fuck let me go- writhing and flapping his wings but iTS NO USE Dazai: Watch, guys. Scratches the back of Chuuya's ear Chuuya: Takes a few seconds of silence but then bursts into a ball of aggressive purring Yosano: Oh my god. Kenji: ✨ 0 ✨ Kunikida: O_O Ranpo: Trying so hard not to laugh Atsushi: QMQ W-w-wh-wha- Dazai: Tehdahh!! Chuuya: Fuck--purrr---you shitty--purrrrr--DAZAI--PURRR somehow gets away with wings flapping in his wake as he runs to the bathroom Also Chuuya: Oh my---purrr---fucking god. That shitass promis-purrr..purrr.. F u c k. I'ma revoke the keeping him alive policy, I--purr--swear to GOD-

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Chuuya: "Fuuuuuck you." Dazai: "Fuck you!" Chuuya: "Fuck me, then, coward!" Dazai: "Sure thing you needy little shit!"

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Bram: There used to be a plethora of werewolves during my time. Such things were most common.

Chuuya: …Hmmmm. I can kinda like…get you something as close to a werewolf as I can. Bram: Please do, I'd be most grateful. It has felt like a millenia since I've last encountered such a common kind that seems so terribly uncommon in these parts.

Chuuya: Disappears, and from the distance: Yo, Atsushi!

Also Chuuya: drags Atsushi by the scruff back to Bram and throws him on the ground like a sack of potatoes Here he is. He's more of a cat though, really. But he's still got the moon shit goin' on.

Bram: This pathetic mongrel? Looks mildly disappointed

Chuuya: Yeahhh, I know. This guy sucks, but he still got the semi-werewolf going on.

Bram: Do you perhaps have anything more than this…creature? Chuuya: Er..unfortunately….no.

Atsushi: …I have ears, you know. Still on the ground

Chuuya: Pretend you don't and let the adults keep talking.

Atsushi & Bram: …

Atsushi: Screw this. Sits up and walks away

Chuuya: grabs him by the scruff again He's just a tad stubborn. If he turns into a full tiger under the full moon, do you think that'll help?

Bram: Sigh I suppose…there's certainly only one way to find out.

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Dazai: Addressing Chuuya’s parents your son calls me daddy too ^^ Chuuya: DAZAI WHAT THE FUCK—

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C: Don't make this worse. D: Define worse-

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Chuuya: You’re bullshitting me so hard right now. Dazai: …. Chuuya: claps hands great, when do we start?

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Chuuya: a cowboy? Eh…I’m not big on riding horses. Dazai: but you’re big on riding me? Chuuya: huh? Dazai: Stupid shit eating mischievous look Chuuya: gets it oh—OH FUCK YOU—

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(Opinon: This one is shit)

Chuuya: tries making a nest Dazai: not helping Chuuya: Dazai, ya ass, come here and help! Dazai: but I’m disabledddd Chuuya: oh fuck off. We’ll see how disabled ya are when I make you carry all the shit we’re gonna get from the store. Dazai: blinks since when are we going to a store? Chuuya: since now. Get the fuck moving. 20 minutes later at a department store (I think)

Dazai: Y’know, you remind me of the stereotype I heard on the internet. Chuuya: mmm? Dazai: where women have a knack for comfort in bed, so they have an exorbanatly large amount of pillows and blankets? Chuuya: comes close and hisses Ain’t my fault that I’m half dragon and in need of a nest! Fuck off about the subject or so help me, damnit!

….so the nest was built afterward, and Dazai served timeout in the corner for 20 minutes instead of snuggling with Chuuya in his new nest

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Chuuya: twittering Dazai: listens to him and knows he's saying something but doesn't know what Atsushi: joins on the conversation, growling and snarling to Chuuya Chuuya: twitters and whistles back Dazai, feeling jealous: You guys have a secret language now!? No fair!!

~~~~~

(Part 2 kinda)

C: Starts twittering to Atsushi A: Growls back to him to start the conversation A few minutes later…. C: Gasps and comes out of animal speak "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" A: "Nuh uh!" D: Quickly comes in and grabs Chuuya before he could whack the shit out of Atsushi C: "LEMME GO!" D: "Chuuya calm down-" C: "That mother fucker is going to FEEL MY WRATH-"

----------------- (This could be either counted as au or canon, but here's a funny short anyway)

D: I'm gonna fuck you, Chuuya. C: You mean fuckin' kill me, right? D: …. :) C: You…mean fuckin' kill me….right?

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Chuuya to Dazai: Here, hold this gives him his gloves and ring Chuuya: Goes over to Clthulu HEY SQUIDDY! Clthulu: Turns around by jamming its tentacles into the earth and spinning its massive body towards Chuuya Chuuya: I hope you glued those tentacles on tight. Oh grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again. Corruption insues

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Chuuya: I identify as an asshole. Grins and puts hands on hips Dazai: And I identify as the dick. Chuuya: … Dazai: … Chuuya: Gets it OH YOU DICK- Dazai: Case in point ;D

-- That's caught up to the most recent ones! Enjoy :))

[ruan566]

Being the Strongest

Now I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's noticed this, but it's an observation of mine how for gojo "the strongest" stops becoming a description of his power and starts becoming an Identity......

At first him saying we're the strongest with him and geto is him describing his and geto's abilities.

But slowly and steadily it starts becoming an identity especially when geto leaves.

This whole panel shows geto asking him exactly that.

Even when the people around him are asked to tell who satoru gojo is while they tell their respective relations to him one important thing they all say is that he is the strongest.

When you're asked who someone is you respond with their identity. And them saying gojo is strongest is further proof of how strongest has become gojo's identity

That is what it's soo heart breaking that when geto's girls ask him who satoru gojo is he responds

It's soo heart breaking that geto the only one who doesn't add the strongest title to gojo is the one who isn't by gojo's side.....

I'll go cry in a corner

[ruan566]

Shipping is in fact not the worst part of any fandom

Like hear me out people.

I was reading some fics the other day and I checked out the comments to find that many people had left a comment about how the fic writer didn't "understand" the characters since the characters were just bffs and how people like them (fic writer) were the reason why people of the same gender couldn't be friends anymore without being called gay.

And oh my god is that infuriating.

See I have nothing against platonic relationships I love them. But recently people have come to believe this mass delusion that platonic relationships are somehow superior than romantic ones.....

Like you do you, buddy, but both forms of relationships are different types of relationships you cannot compare them.

As for platonic relationships in fiction. It's fiction, my friend. You can see their interactions as strictly platoni, I want to ship them so for me those moments are more romantic in nature.

No one has to shout at the other. Everyone has a different interpretation. No one is wrong no one is right.

Shipping in fandom is fun and enjoyable. People who are romantics at heart like that and let them do that it's a piece of media it doesn't harm anyone.

Nothing wrong with shipping two characters together since I wish to see them in a romantic light so I will.

Sure due to shipping some characters are misportrayed. But due to the same shipping we get such brilliant fanfic writers writing excellent characterization and adding romance is always a plus for the romantics.

Incorrect characterisation is not a product of shipping it's a product of fans having their own head canons and (sometimes) bad writing of the fic writers.

[ruan566]

New soukoku head canon

Ok I get it that Dazai is the brains of the duo or whatever....but I love the idea of while Dazai can make brilliant strategies it's Chuuya who can pinpoint every single weakness in Dazai's strategies and that is the reason why Dazai and Chuuya work soo well together

Like Dazai calling up Chuuya at the middle of the night to ask the success rate of a plan against an organisation for their mission

Chuuya getting out his laptop and he like : don't leave a single number or fact out I'll calculate

And then dazai asks the success rate

Chuuya goes : 3%

Dazai : is that good enough?

Chuuya: usually it's between 0.00067 to 0.289 3 is an improvement

And they do so....

No one ? Just me?

[ruan566]

Fukuzawa joining the PM

Ok ok hear me out y'all. From the ADA of Fukuzawa's pov we don't actually see Fuluzawa himself in it. And Fukuzawa joining the PM would make Kunikida the leader and it would also be an extremely difficult ordeal for Yosano and Ranpo specifically not to mention Kunikida who treats Fuluzawa like his teacher.

Also it would make sense given how Mori and Fukuzawa used to be partners.

We'd get all the three generations of soukoku

Zenki soukoku (Fukuzawa & Mori) these two were fighting on the Yosano issue but if Fukuzawa joins the PM Mori would be his boss

Soukoku (Chuuya & Dazai) ......these two....fucking whatever the fuck is up with these two still works

Shin soukoku (Atsushi & Akutagawa) these two are already working well together as seen in the last scene of Bsd anime

Is my hypothesis delusional? Yes. Will it never come true? Yes. Will that stop me? Fuck no, if I cared about logic I wouldn't be watching bsd.

[ruan566]

Look I don't give a fuck whether the Dazai going to PM theory is true or not

But why the fuck did Fukuzawa not include him???

This is Fukuzawa's narrative he isn't the person in charge of this exchange. The PM, that is Mori would choose who joins the PM.

So Fukuzawa's narrative shouldn't hold any sort of foreshadowing.

Dazai for all his faults has actually tried being a good person.

He's not a good person. But he's much better off than when he was in the mafia. He is at the very least a morally grey person who's trying to do good.

So. Why. The. Fuck. Did. Fukuzawa. Not. Include. Him?!??!

I swear to god if the reason is anything other than fukuzawa just forgot since Dazai has been in the agency for so long and not that Fukuzawa doesn't consider Dazai part of the agency then I'm going to blow up!!

Istg all my goodwill towards Fukuzawa will disappear!!!

[ruan566]

BSD Inuyasha AU

Chuuya as Inuyasha, keeper of the sacred jewel, who was trapped (with a poisoned knife of all things) to the jidaiju

Dazai as kagome, who has perfect aim (but wants to spend time with his chibi dog) so he missed and shattered the sacred jewel (scattered the pages of The book). Also, he uses a gun (priestess with bows are outdated or so he says) 

Odasaku as Kaede who teaches dazai how to use a bow and "please use it dazai we're in the medieval era, we're not supposed to have guns" "but you have magic!" "... Just don't use guns all the time"

Shirase as kikyou but he wasn't a powerful miko, but everyone (the sheep) thought he was so he befriended chuuya for power, when he saw chuuya had the book, he also claimed that HE'S it's keeper because how could a demon protect it and resist the power it holds.... So his legacy is a big sham

(Dazai gets absolutely jealous whenever chuuya brings up shirase (out of hatred), so he practices all his skills because he is better than that guy and he just wants to show chuuya.... He was successful in getting chuuya's attention, it earns him brownie points)

Akutagawa as miroku (and rashomon instead of black hole), but instead of sudden fondling, he's fond of sudden dismemberment 

Atsushi as Sango, he wants to save his sister (kyouka) from naraku (mori). Also the victim of aku's dismembering tendencies all the time

Kouyou as kagura, she's become fond of the little girl (kyouka) and she gives advices on how to avoid mori's watchful eyes once in a while

Verlaine as sesshoumaru, instead of wanting chuuya's sword, he just wants to protect his brother (from dazai specifically) so he follows their journey.

[ruan566]

Anyone ever think that Dazai's wish to die probably stems from his desire to feel humane?

Ok first off the book from which Dazai's ability gets its name is in Japanese and the more literal translation of the book's name would be "Disqualified from being human"

Disqualified from being human carries a lot of implications that the actual name doesn't carry

Disqualification implies that it's Dazai himself who feels that he can't call himself humane

And Dazai states that death isn't the opposite of life, rather death is what completes the experience of life

And what is more humane than dying and living?

It's pure delusion but I like to believe that Dazai's suicidal tendencies stem from him craving to feel humane or at the very least feel something.

It also explains his obsession with Chuuya during his younger years and the attachment that still persists now

Chuuya despite perhaps being codes or a clone is still so much more "humane" than Dazai or so we believe from Dazai's perspective

Hence Dazai's wish to actively understand everything about Chuuya so to use Chuuya's perspective as a guide on how he himself can become human

The main difference between Dazai and Chuuya is that while Dazai needs a purpose in life he doesn't understand the basic concept that life doesn't have to have a purpose

Chuuya on the other hand suffers, aimless pointless suffering without any purpose in life because Chuuya's objective is to prove himself humane

And what is life if not another name for suffering

Chuuya wants to be humane for an inner sense of satisfaction, Dazai wants to be humane so he doesn't feel "empty"

Chuuya's desire to feel humane may perhaps also come from the fact that in the lab he was treated as a lab rat so to him if he's not humane then isn't that validating all the experiments done on him?

The concept of basic rights is for humans

If Chuuya finds out that he isn't human then to him it's almost as if all that lab did to him was correct

Chuuya wants to feel humane because he doesn't want to feel as if he deserved all that he was put through

Dazai on the other hand wants a purpose in life wants a meaning in life he holds on to things on an obsessive degree so that his genius mind remains occupied

He wants to be humane to find an answer to his "emptiness"

[ruan566]

What the fuckity fucking fuck

By me

Both Dazai and Chuuya were late.

Which while not unusual for either of them given a certain someone's unwillingness to be on time and the other certain someone's unwillingness to not drag the other certain someone behind.

Kouyou was almost ready to drag both of those menaces to the Executive meeting if they didn't enter within the next five minutes.

Goodness knew what exactly were they planning.

And everyone was aware things that started with Soukoku either ended in tragic gay shit or chaotic gay shit.

It wasn't that Kouyou wasn't supportive of those two boys becoming closer and hopefully more.

She just hoped they'd have more discretion than this.

They could roll in the sheets all they liked but they had to stand tall in the Mafia.

And finally both of those troublemaking Executives entered.

Chuuya sporting an annoyed look (usual) and Osamu sporting an equally annoyed look (not so usual).

This was all according to norm.

What wasn't according to norm was how they were dressed.

Chuuya was wearing a.....dog costume......while Dazai was in a ......fish costume.

Mori actively stickered from behind his table looking at the Executives with a grin that was part nostalgic (???!!!??) and part amused.

Chuuya's cheeks burned as Kouyou's obviously shell shocked expression and the Boss' amused expression entered his sight.

He crossed his arms, pouting, "Blame this stupid dumb fish. He messed up the plan Let's dance monkey dance."

Kouyou choked on air.

Mori raised an eyebrow.

Hirotsu sighed deeply like some war veteran, too used to the antics of Soukoku due to being the unofficial therapist-drinking buddy-uncle-too-underpaid-for-this-shit of the Port Mafia.

And all of them arrived on the same conclusion simultaneously.

This was going to be chaotic gay shit.

And proving them all true Dazai pouted, retorting, "And who's fault is it that he messed up the Drowning Penguins and Swimming Bananas mission? Has Chibi's hat finally eaten his brain? Or......"

Dazai bent downwards, forcing Chuuya to make eye contact with him by forcing Chuuya's chin up, "Was there no brain in the first place, hmm?"

Obviously Chuuya was not to be deterred now, thus he launched on his crusade of announcing his grievances against Dazai.

Also known as the closeted gay speech by Kouyou, "Oye fucker! That wasn't my fault you didn't tell me that Let's go crazy and destroy the world was also part of the plan."

"Ahh, so Chuuya wasn't aware that the funky bear plan couldn't be continued without the apeshit part?"

"No, shitcakes was supposed to be after that!"

Hirotsu checked his watch, waiting for this to get over or (the more probable and sane choice) when Boss would finally throw them both out.

"Chibi has finally gone sensile. Shitcakes is after homiciding time, of course Chibiko isn't evolved enough to understand. Ahh, let's start with the more simpler commands, shall we? Sit, Chuuya."

Kouyou helder her katana tighter, praying to God to give her the patience to not stab both of these children and be done with it.

"Who the fuck are you calling a dog, you dimwitted fuckster enemy of all women bandaged bastard??"

Mori's eye twitched.

"Has Chuuya's IQ dropped so low that he can't even recognise himself?"

Kouyou whispered to herself, "You both have to shout then shout but why do you have to stand so close that it looks like you're going to kiss, hmm?"

Mori's other eye also twitched and he clapped his hands.

Kouyou and Hirotsu looked at him as if he was a Messiah.

"Now now, Chuuya-kun, Dazai-kun, how about both of you take a break and relax given how overworked both of you have been these past few weeks, hmm?"

Both Dazai and Chuuya looked at the boss then at each other then bowed and ran out of the room.

All the three present inside the room released a collective sigh of relief.

Dazai and Chuuya had run fast.

Simply because then just couldn't control their laughter anymore.

Dazai wheezed, "Hahaha, did you....did you...did you see how Mori reacted?"

Chuuya took some deep breaths to steady himself, "Well, seems your plan worked, Dazai."

Dazai smiled, "Our plan worked, slug."

Chuuya gulped staring at the familiar face so warm, so open and so happy.

He turned around so Dazai couldn't see his burning cheeks.

Tugging Dazai's sleeves he said in a breathless voice, "Let's go to the arcade to spend our free time."

Dazai looked at Chuuya's back, his smile streching farther, "Let's go, Chuuya!"

2.

You'll never take us alive

We swore that death will do us part

They'll call our crimes a work of art

"Huh??!!"

A random Mafia grunt #1 gasped.

Random Mafia grunt #2 looked at the other like an elderly sister looked at a baby sibling (fucking annoyed sibling that is).

"Ah to be this young and naive."

Random Mafia grunt #1 looked at her in shock, "You're not even three years older than me, senpai!"

Random mafia grunt #2 patted his shoulder, "I know. I wish I could've protected your innocence more, kouhai."

Random Mafia grunt #1 appeared touched, "Oh..wait a fucking second you dragged me inri this department!"

The other sighed and nodded, "Yes but as your senpai it's my job to protect you."

"Protect me, how?"

The other looked at him as he she had suffered through torture and seen untold horrors.

Random Mafia grunt #1 appeared scared looking at her with concern, "Is it some super powerful enemy?"

"No. Worse. It's Soukoku."

Random Mafia grunt #1 appeared perplexed as to why their Boss' would be some supposed untold horror and as to how they could be the reason behind this song.

The song continued to play in the background, as suddenly two teenagers, one redhead and the other with dark brown curls looked at each other.

"The redhead is Nakahara Chuuya. Most popular Executive, don't fuck with him, or fuck around him....his enemies end up becoming the Demon Prodigy's enemies. The brown head is said Demon Prodigy. His enemies end up becoming stains on the torture chambers' walls. Together they form the most queer coded duo, Soukoku. Honestly if they were actors I'd ask if we're being queer baited..."

Random Mafia grunt #2 explained, Random Mafia grunt #1 still appeared perplexed.

"I don't get the music."

"Are you blind as well as brain dead?"

The other asked in geniune concern no hint of mockery visible in her grey eyes.

"Huh?"

The other sighed and just tilted her head in the direction of the famous duo.

And Random Mafia grunt #1 just watched.

You'll never take us alive

We swore that death will do us part

They'll call our crimes a work of art

You'll never take us alive

We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners

Partners in crime

Both the teenagers were defeating the enemy while simultaneously dancing in syn with the beat and tune.

And fuck was that a big speaker floating in the air, covered in Nakahara's gravity that covered the whole ground on the field he stepped on in a crimson outline.

And Random Mafia grunt #1 fainted.

The other's around him just sighed and clicked their tongues, while Random Mafia grunt #2 took her kouhai in her arms to deposit him to the medical squad.

"Another victim?"

The doctor asked.

Random Mafia grunt #2 nodded.

Such is the life of Port Mafia.

3.

Dazai's funeral was today.

Most of the members weren't sure how to proceed.

Sure they were scared shitless of Dazai but still being happy on the death of a superior wasn't something their pockets could handle.

Hence, the awkward silence that remained throughout the ceremony.

Finally everyone was slowly emptying the halls.

Kouyou just seemed heartbroken for Osamu and Chuuya, looking at Chuuya time and time again.

Hirotsu gave Chuuya a hug.

Mori-san had given Chuuya-san a holiday of three weeks to recover from the loss of his partner.

And finally only Chuuya was left.

He kicked the coffin slowly.

"They left, you piece of shit. Stop pretending."

"How many weeks?"

"Three weeks, if he doesn't find out we can stretch the holiday to four weeks."

And then came out Dazai dressed in a white suit and one eye covered in bandages.

Both Dazai and Chuuya high fived.

"Where are we going?"

Chuuya questioned as he helped Dazai out of the coffin box.

"Arcade, movie nights and then sight seeing, India."

"Fuck yes!"

Chuuya answered.

And while both of them were known as he deadliest duo in the history of Yokohama, what the Mafia also knew them as was the slacker duo of the Mafia.

Honestly it was everyone else's fault for falling for this obvious a ploy.

4.

Atsushi was too tired for this shit.

"FIFTY LAPS!?!!"

Akutagawa looked at Atsushi as if Atsushi was a strangled rat that Akutagawa had been wanting to kill for far too long.

God fucking dammit why did Atsushi had to be so masochist as to have a crush on his potential killer ?!?

Well he could always tell Akutagawa how his presence filled Atsushi with warmth and then Akutagawa would leave him alone .......but then Atsushi was a masochistic teenager with a crush.

Meaning: too little braincells.

"Yes, jinko-san."

Chuuya replied, looking at Atsushi as if he'd grown another head.

Dazai snickered from behind his partner.

"But but.... I've never Chuuya-san I I ...well...."

Chuuya raised an eyebrow, "Do you want to do hundred, kiddo?"

Atsushi ran, like the fucking kitty that he was.

And why the fuck was his own brain so intent on his assassinating his non existent sense of self worth?!!

Actually forget all that. Why the fuckity fucking fuck had Atsushi agreed to this shit show of a training from Soukoku in the first place?!??!

And today was only the second day.

It wasn't even anything useful that they learnt.

What the fuck sort of advice was play cool music and go to arcades?!?

Sure Soukoku could dance and destroy the enemy together.

But they had the most powerful brain and most powerful brawn.

They were needed in moments of delicacy and strategy.

The so called "Shin Soukoku" was more of a power package to be deployed when only power was needed.

Akutagawa looked back at Jinko.

The only reason he had joined was

a) his sister called him a coward for not confronting his crush

b) his sister called him an idiot for not knowing the name of his own crush

c) Jinko

d) last and least Boss' orders

He looked back at Atsushi who looked tired beyond belief and with pure intentions Akutagawa opened his mouth to ask: are you alright, jinko?

What his tsundere-emo filter turned it into was: pathetic weakling jinko.

And from there the two rivals tried to out ran each other.

And in their attempts both of them tripped around their second lap.

"Ow" "Fuck you too Akutagawa!" "Too cowardly to do it yourself?" were the simultaneous reaction.

Dazai and Chuuya just stared at their proteges and raised an eyebrow respectively.

"You two alright?"

Atsushi nodded and complained, launching in a righteous speech, "But why are we leaning how you two did? This is our partnership. We can make our own rules."

Akutagawa nodded along side him.

Both Dazai and Chuuya smiled (wide and happy in Chuuya's case, and the Dazai typical smirks in Dazai' case.)

"Finally!"

Dazai clapped his hands, exclaiming with joy.

Atsushi looked at his mentor as if he had gone crazy....which ok was a wrong question.

He looked at his mentor as if he had gone crazier.

"We both just wanted you to realise that. There's no short cut to a partnership. You have to make your own ground rules and mistakes."

Chuuya explained.

Atsushi shot a miserable and betrayed glance in Dazai's direction.

Akutagawa just nodded along as if Chuuya made complete sense.

"So what about all the laps we did yesterday and all the other exercises?!? They weren't "trust exercises??""

Chuuya laughed, open unabashed and amused.

Dazai looked at Chuuya as if he was the most precious thing on earth.

Which fuck him.

If Atsushi stared at his crush he was a masochist and when Dazai did it how come Yosano-san called him dedicated and loyal like those shoujou mangas?

This was injustice.

This was cruelty.

Chuuya controlled his laughter with a lot of effort.

"Ahh, sorry kiddos. Let's go to dinner, my treat, as an apology, hmm?"

Akutagawa looked like someone else had called Jinko a rival.

He quickly dragged Jinko away from those two.

Becaus as the rules in Port Mafia went

A) don't fuck with Dazai (reason: Dazai and Chuuya)

B) don't fuck Chuuya (reason: Dazai)

C) don't go to lunch or meeting with Soukoku (reason: chaotic gay shit)

He shouted back, "I realised I'm in love with Jinko, Chuuya-san, Dazai-san!"

Even his tsundere-emo filter was against their antics.

Dazai just seemed happy for securing a dinner with Chuuya.

"It's a date then, chibi-chan!"

And he pulled Chuuya along while Chuuya was too flustered to move.

[ruan566]

Ok just hear me out.

Now I know most writers write Dazai as the genius in the high school fics and he is.

But all I'm saying is that there are different types of geniuses in this world.

Have you looked at Dazai and Ranpo?

They wouldn't ever work on any subject regardless of if they failed.

I've always thought of Chuuya being the academic genius between our soukoku.

Him being the best in maths and physics specifically.

Like imagine Dazai and Ranpo being rivals and Ranpo calls Chuuya in the middle of the night to help solve a question.

Chuuya says he'll explain tomorrow since it's too late.

But Dazai (who broke into his house.) asks Chuuya the same question. And Chuuya explains

Why??

Boyfriend privileges silly!

[ruan566]

Chuuya was exhausted, honestly he understood why Dazai wanted to die more than ever now.

Fuck it all, Chuuya wanted to die, who would want to live when the cost was using Corruption?

And he hated hospitals!

Given the fact that he had only used Corruption for four minutes before Dazai had stopped, the hospital trip wouldn’t be that long.

But he still fucking hated hospitals.

Chuuya slowly opened his eyes, only to find a very stinky stupid Mackerel entering his hospital ward.

“………”

“……..”

Dazai blinked.

Chuuya blinked.

Both of them blinked again.

And again.

Finally Dazai broke the awkward stare of by actually stepping inside the room, rather than standing on the threshold.

He cleared his throat.

“Chuuya. Good to see my dog is still alive and kicking.”

And all the goodwill Chuuya had been feeling towards the bastard for visiting him disappeared.

“Shut it, bastard. And I’m not your dog.”

Dazai sat on the chair right next to Chuuya’s bed, whining, “Booh! I waited upon my dog like a good master and Chuuya returns my affections by being cruel to me?? Chuuya has no humanity within his cruel heart!”

Chuuya snorted, “I am a fucking science experiment, bastard.”

Dazai’s face stiffened, he straightened up speaking with complete seriousness, “Oye, has Chibi’s dumb hat finally eaten his chibi brain? Of course Chuuya is a human.”

Chuuya smiled, it was a sad sight, the sight of someone who had whispered the same reassurances to himself for far too long, “Thanks Mackerel.”

Dazai frowned, “Chuuya, who knows you best?”

Oh Chuuya hated when Dazai said his name like that, that lilt upwards as if Chuuya was the single most precious thing in the world.

“You.”

Dazai nodded vehemently, “So if I say Chuuya is human then he is. Plus I’m a genius, obviously I would know better than tiny Chibiko.”

Usually the nickname would fill Chuuya with rage, now?

It made him feel warm.

Which was apparent as Chuuya’s cheeks burned.

(Bloody romance novels lied to him, you in fact couldn’t control your blush. Fuck you, biology. He was Nakahara Chuuya he was going to control his fucking blush.)

Dazai embarrassed himself, made an excuse “I have to go meet up with Odaaaku and Ango.”

Chuuya scrambled to halt him.

One leg on his bed, the other on the ground and both hands grasping Dazai’s cost, Chuuya pulled.

Making Dazai also sit on the bed.

Chuuya took a deep breath.

And kissed Dazai on his cheek.

Not moving his face away, Chuuya spoke, “Thanks.”

And hurriedly let go of Dazai, “You should leave, Sakaguchi-san and Oda-san would be waiting for you.”

Dazai stood up looking at Chuuya he slowly held up one of Chuuya’s hand.

Soft and pale and sensitive due to the gloves.

Dazai slowly kissed Chuuya’a knuckles.

“Okay.”

And Dazai left.

Chuuya smiled falling back on his bed.

Shoving his face on a pillow, Chuuya giggled.

Blushing madly.

Outside the hospital room, Dazai was no different.

He stood leaning against the door, fingers touching the spot where Chuuya had kissed his cheek.

He smiled to himself.

And it was enough then, Double Black held together by affection rivalry and just a pinch of respect.

And maybe it wasn’t enough four years ago.

It was never enough was it?

Chuuya had sincerely believed it was.

And yet here he was chugging a whole bottle of wine.

Alone.

Because in the end “I love you.” didn’t make people stay, not if they were said like goodbyes.

On the other side of the city Dazai also drank, a 89 bottle of Pétrus.

(He had stolen the second bottle of it from Chuuya’s wine rack.)

Dazai hadn’t meant to leave….

But people never do.

You don’t wish to burn down a house, one made with love.

But in the end all you could do was stare at it as it burned down in flames.

[ruan566]

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruan_Avalor/pseuds/Ruan_Avalor

Loyalty a trait the Nakaharas valued above all else

A trait made into a mockery, an insult by Chuuya as he ran a sword through the King.

Warm blood rushed out, as Chuuya pulled his sword back.

His gloves were coated crimson, as he stared down at the King with indifference.

The King merely stared at him, neither smiling, nor laughing, even now.

Chuuya felt sorrow, he wasn’t sure towards whom.

And that sorrow felt tainted.

( a pet project criticism and ideas are welcome and appreciated!)

[ruan566]

Soukoku but make it game of thrones

I've had this idea in my head for far too long

Let Chuuya be in a Jaime Lannister situation,(without the incest part)

He's the second son of the Nakahara family (which deals in intelligence and has spies everywhere )

and his family has been revolting against King, finally the King (probably the previous mafia boss) wins. Chuuya has to join the kingsguard (at age 12) and is in a hostage like situation.

The king rapes young girls and Chuuya has to listen to it and he can't do anything coz his sister (Kouyou) is betrothed to the king

Finally Royal physician Mori rebels against the king Chuuya ends up having to murder the King and his children with the girls as their survival will only lead to them being killed in more horrible ways

Now Chuuya (at 15) is asked to be in the kingsguard by his sister he doesn't want it but he has to do it. And he meets Prince Dazai the heir of King Mori (he doesn't have to necessarily be related to mori)

He and the prince knew each other before and Dazai is shocked how dull Chuuya's eyes look compared to how they looked when they were younger. They grow closer but Dazai never understands why Chuuya still sometimes zones out and looks so horribly revolted and guilty when he looks at the iron throne.

Now revolts happen again. Dazai has to kill the king (as per mori's wish due to not wanting to be killed by fukuzawa the guy doing the rebellion who was his close friend and mori knows fukuzawa won't be able to kill him)

Chuuya manages to escape with Dazai.

Now chuuya's family is very important as they have the best information network in the kingdom spies everywhere.

Chuuya aks Dazai if he wants to be king.

Dazai says yes coz he doesn't believe fukuzawa to be capable of the cruelty and the sheer genius required to handle the kingdoms enemies (enemies being Fyodor and such)

And dazai and chuuya go on an adventure to earn Dazai's throne back. And maybe (most definitely) make Chuuya's eyes less guilty and Dazai a lot less suicidal and more pro life.

[ruan566]

Was He Xuan justified in doing what he did?

Now I'm exhausted of how much people have argued over this coz why are we arguing over the answer to an incorrect question?

What He Xuan wanted was vengeance. Vengeance and justice are almost opposites to each other. Each other's parallels more so.

If he simply wanted justice he would've killed shi wudu before his heavenly trial and he done with it.

No he killed shi wudu at the height of his power playing with the feelings of his younger brother and making the very younger brother who idolised shi wudu hate him.

That is vengeance. He doesn't want shi wudu to only die. No he wants shi wudu do feel the pain and suffering that he Xuan did.

It's almost like he Xuan is showing him how it feels to be at your worst in life all because of someone else. Shi wudu didn't necessarily want to hurt someone he just didn't want his younger brother to die. That's desparation

He xuan wanted nothing more than vengeance for his family because he suffered just so someone else could live happy.

There's something particularly heart breaking in learning that all your pain and suffering wasn't some great scheme of the universe but rather someone else's fault someone else who you've never wronged before. Someone who you don't even know.

Shi wudu at least understood and knew why he was killed by he xuan

He xuan? He probably spent his whole mortal life wondering why did all his family have to die and why did all this have to happen to him.

[ruan566]

I don't understand the Shi Wudu hate....

Like really, we all always forgive or sweep under the rug all the stuff Hc's done for XL that act as a direct parallel to Shi Wudu's actions in saving sqq (ofc shi wudu's is platonic and almost parental while hc's actions have a more devout and romantic nature behind them.) I think we're forgetting those 33 gods.

Sure those gods were assholes to xl but just coz they were assholes to this one guy did they deserve to die? (Not exactly sure if that's what happened but I'm assuming that if you don't have believers then you fade away or at least something like that.)

Not only that hc would most definitely do what shi wudu did if XL was in the same position as sqq and like as scared and desparate as sqq must've been.

And look for someone who is a older sibling shi wudu's actions have always made sense to me. Sure they weren't correct but the point isn't in them being morally right or wrong.

The point is saving your younger sibling. If my younger sibling had to suffer from what sqq as a child suffered through the whole mental torture that the venerable of empty words (I think that's the demons name correct me if I'm wrong) puts it's victims through I would definitely do what shi wudu does.