roamingsoul

[roamingsoul]

at first, everything didn't make sense. it seemed trivial and shallow for me to feel this way so i kept on dismissing it til i doubted myself, who i am. my capabilities in handling stuff. it's like all the things i experienced and learned all went to the drain, which is so wrong of me. i made a bad judgement and it didn't help me. it only made things worse. it only made me feel lower than i should've and i can't carry on knowing that i have this belief that i'm weak and that i'm failing each day.

why do i feel listless every night

why do my eyes seem to be lifeless

why do i keep yearning for my spark

but then i realized, i've been through a lot. i grew weary. it's not normal for people to be scathless after everything. like a sick person, they might seem okay but they wouldn't recover the strength they once had in a blink of an eye. i failed to recognize that i was still healing. take it easy. the small wins, the small things to be grateful for seemed almost non-existent for me.

i want to stop feeling this way. i'd like to leave what's dragging me down and redefine myself. i want to slowly believe in myself again and to carefully mold my fibre into the person i want.

i won't be sinking anymore as i shovel past the anchor that keeps me down.

i will rise again slowly, with crumpled fist and restrained breathing, anticipating for the warmth that's waiting at the top.

i hope i can make it.

[roamingsoul]

[roamingsoul]

snoopy of the day

[roamingsoul]

Roberto Bolaño, The Savage Detectives (translated by Natasha Wimmer)

[roamingsoul]

snoopy reads dorian gray before bed

[roamingsoul]

damn these tears are endless

[roamingsoul]

it is written in the stars, i'm meant to live the best life

[roamingsoul]

nothing changes if nothing changes

[roamingsoul]

too much thinking made my head dizzy

[roamingsoul]

life's so funny

there are some wounds that doesn't heal with time

and you outgrew the passions you once had

is the person you're becoming someone to be proud of

or

did they just simply faltered

[roamingsoul]

and when everything becomes too much i always get the urge to run away. but where? i don't think i've ever found a place where i belong..

regardless, i wanna be a bit kinder to myself today

[roamingsoul]

not at me randomly doing the laundry that i put off for days just to distract me from the unwanted train of thoughts. ngl it kinda made me feel a bit better. sometimes, the most mundane things are actually helpful and it's there to remind you to think and act simply. to slow down, go back to your roots, and appreciate what has always been there.

[roamingsoul]

i couldn't find a paper and pen so i came here

[roamingsoul]

[roamingsoul]

It didn’t kill me, but a part of me died that day.

[roamingsoul]

i'd yearn for love but am i ready when it comes knocking on my door? won't i get scared of opening up again and letting my love for the person consume me? am i still capable of giving love and receiving it? fingers-crossed that this time, it'll be different, nourishing, and it'll bring out the best in me.

[roamingsoul]

i wanna keep my gaze high and appreciate the beautiful skies even more. someone said, if it has a personality, it would be an introvert. at first it didn't make sense but i agree now : )