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I miss my wife, and my girlfriend, and my boyfriend, and that cute guy i hooked up with, and those pretty girls from the bar, and the buff dude i met and fought with, and the

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Sorry i've gone missing, there were some really pretty dragon girls i met and i got carried away and i woke up unconcious on the forest, it took me until now to find the nearest town.

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I'm still far away from Kuca and my home so i just wanna show u im doing ok i drew this pretty self portrait of me telling you im fine xoxo -Pitang

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Orsrry for n pot todey thdH say im YOo FRUMK i day go fjc youself theu drag me thru the floor cuz i "vant wakl" I fan FO ANYTHIN I WAN bich.... ..

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I saw a kobold and they were this tall

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I'm literally a king where's my followers that don't question my decitions????

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My head's all over the place i ain't gonna lie.

I miss Kuca.

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So its been about 3 years or so since i woke up in a hole no knowledge of anything or how it happened, thrown into the horrible horrible world (well, more like a cave) but surrounded by cute little lizard thingies that called themselves Kobolds.

Long story short, suddenly me (greatest thing since sliced bread) and the other champs that stuck with me, went on a scouting mission to another continent that WOULDN'T YOU KNOW after months of being lost as shit and ending up being different clans mules on their errands, we gotta kill a fucking demon king whatever that wants to kill everyone and basically fucked our pussies (except mine, i NEVER lose, ignore whoever tells you i got my ass beat) and we barely made it out alive and we SMASHED its head like an orange.

Aparently we got some godly weapon that can kill gods out of it, or at least HALF a weapon... We are missing 2/4 parts for it and its basically THE weapon to kill big stuff, not like i need it, my 2 built in babies *kisses muscles* could deal with any stupid god any day.

Anyways some of us became demi-gods aparently? Im my own god so i was already miles ahead from them 💅 they do look pretty fucking cool and got some bomb ass powers.

Now we are kinda stuck and we got nothing going on, may go shopping to spend all the "hero of the world" money to being back to my 848728382 Kobolds and someone special.....

ANYWAYS thats about it for today, i need some painkillers, or booze, or both, i think my ribs are still broken. BUT NOT MY SPIRIT (Ow my chest)

I may tell u more about the last 3 years if any of u want, or not. You'l have to see xoxo

Signed.

-THE GREATEST THING KNOWN TO EVER EXIST

Pitanje❤