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[riordanuniverse]

Riordanverse characters as things my friends and I have said (part one)

Cupid to Nico: You’re already fighting for your life, how you gonna be gay AND mean?

Leo: They called the firefighters cause the fits are too fire

Iris: Let me tell you homos about the true meaning of the rainbow…

Piper: Text me later I’m at the beach

Percy to the gods at the ripe age of 12: Y’all my biggest fans fr

Drew probably: How you gonna tell me to sit down when I’m afraid that outfit doesn’t cut it either

Percy to the Minotaur: How’s that big bummed, fee fi fo fummed headed ass thumb gonna threaten me AND my momma like that and think they getting away with it?

Alex: Yo mind spinning too much on this, your head might as well be a pottery wheel

Frank in tears: GUYS I FINALLY KNOW WHY DOJA SAID “Call him Ed Sheeran” She’s referring to the lyric his song where he says “I’m in love with your body” !!

Carter to Sadie: Stop saying W rizz when you can say the more sophisticated origin of that phrase, charisma…

Literally everyone to Jason: get you and your bifocals outta here

Hazel: Stop asking me to BeReal. I’d say I’m an honest person myself.

Carter: Sadie, you’ve dyed your hair so much, you make Kellogg’s Rice Krispies jealous with it’s snap, crackle, pop.

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Frank: You’re my ten out of ten, never my ten in Roman.

Hazel:

Frank: I’m really trying here, okay?

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Reyna would most def listen to Boy Pablo idc what you guys say

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“Rachel Elizabeth Dare is a ginger!!!!!!” I scream passionately into the mic. The crowd boos and I begin to violently sob as I walk off the stage. Snot and tears streaming down my face. “They’re right.” A voice says. I turn to see the person who spoke. There she stands in the 7th row. Rachel Elizabeth Dare herself.

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I’ve had this headcanon for awhile, but I love to imagine that an Athena kid, somewhere at Camp Half-Blood, is the product of two moms. What if Athena fell in love with a woman once upon a time? Because ISTG IK ATHENA IS SOMEWHAT FRUITY?!?! RICK TELL ME THAT THERE’S AN ATHENA CHILD OUT THERE WHO HAS TWO MOMS!!!

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I know I haven’t posted here in awhile but this is a message to Rick Riordan only! So scram!🤬How the fuck am I going to ask my extremely homophobic 😱🏳️‍🌈🚫🙅🏻‍♀️mom to buy the new book focusing on Solangelo and their relationship⁉️🤨 You better not make the cover too gay😇 anyways 🤪 super hyped for the new book that it’s enough to make me question🤔⁉️whether I should start posting content on here again😳 since well, I ran out of content🤯 goddam. 🫂 I really thought my pjo phase was done.😐😕🙁😣😩😠😡🤬

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Samirah: I hate you.

Magnus: Well you know what? My dove chocolate wrapper said that someone’s thinking of me. So fuck you.

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Nico: Jason and I have so much chemistry where we can finish each other’s-

Jason: -sentences!

Nico: Don’t interrupt me.

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Meg: What if I ordered you to kill yourself?

Apollo: DO YOU WANT THE WORLD TO END?

Meg: Well yeah? Like, why are YOU the main character all of a sudden?🙄✋

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Jason: You either finish your homework and pass all of your classes, or you drop out of highschool and end up being a worker at a McDonald’s drive-thru.

Piper: So if I don’t do my work, we can go get McDonald’s?

Jason: No-

Piper, tossing him car keys: You’re driving.

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Jason: What are you gonna do? Kill me, you dickhead?

Caligula: Yeah, pretty much.

Jason: Oh shit... well just get it over with.

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Leo: Ayo, what are you up to?

Jason: *doing buzfeed quiz: Which potato chip flavor are you?*

Jason, sweating:

Jason, finally: Watching porn-

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Jason: My depression may be chronic...

Jason: but these glasses are iconic.

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Alex: You ever have one of those days, where you’re holding a stick, and everybody looks like a piñata?

Leo: You know what? I’m glad Annabeth introduced us to each other.

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Percy: Having a life crisis? Pop a choccy milk.

Frank: I’m lactose intolerant.

Percy: Get some lactose-free choccy milk.

Hazel: Wait a minute, someone’s created lactose-free milk? Jeez, this world astonishes me everyday.

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Leo: Hey, do you think I can fit 15 marshmallows into my mouth?

Hazel: What’s the matter with you? You’re a hazard to your own self!

Frank: And a coward, do 20.

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Reyna: So do you have any extreme sports you’ve tried?

Frank: Doing my homework while the teacher went around the room collecting it.