riddikuluslypotter

[riddikuluslypotter]

Please read this - it completely turned my week around and is such an important story to me (even if it's a little embarrassing for me). I work in retail, and am also at uni - my thesis is due in two weeks, and I'm a little bit overwhelmed at the moment.

A customer came into my store yesterday and was unbelievably rude to me - not unheard of in retail, but she was particularly bad. I was working by myself, and so so tired from uni. I held it together by sheer force of will (I swear I usually have no problem, I've been yelled at by customers a thousand times before), until the poor next customers came. While she was ranting, this middle aged couple were in line behind her. After she left and they came up to the desk, I burst into tears - like, fully sobbing. Now if a retail worker started sobbing when I greeted her I would have been absolutely bewildered, but this man activated dad mode in 0.3 seconds and he and his wife were so patient and kind.

They came back five minutes later with these flowers for me.

It absolutely made my day, and it was such a reminder that even though strangers can be really cruel, they can also be incredibly kind.

I teared up again when they gave them to me (honest to god, I'm never this emotional - just super worn out), and then absolutely cracked up when the husband started tearing up too. His poor wife looked absolutely exasperated with the two of us, who were both emotional wrecks.

I just wanted to share this as a reminder of how kind people can be, as well as how much of a difference being kind to other people can make.

I threw this poor couple an absolute curve ball by fully sobbing with no warning and little context (they'd heard a bit of the last part with the first customer, but not all of it), and they responded with such patience, love, and generosity. My autistic ass probably would have responded with confusion and an awkward shoulder pat if put in the same situation.

People can be so beautiful.

[riddikuluslypotter]

I loved your foursome with the bat boys! And thank you for giving Cassian some centre stage loving😍

I hate that Cass is so often relegated to the sidelines in favour of Az or Rhys!

Thank you! I love Cassian so much, that man does not deserve to be sidelined 😂

[riddikuluslypotter]

This is pure filth, I couldn't get the idea out of my head until I'd written it down though, so enjoy this super short drabble of a foursome with the bat boys.

No trigger warnings I can think of except for porn with no plot (and slight mention of choking). Let me know if there's anything I need to add!

NSFW, MDNI

She had never had good sex before. That was the only logical conclusion, because none of her previous partners had made her feel even a tenth of her current sensations. Comparing previous escapades to this would be like comparing tinned spaghetti to a bowl of your mother's freshly made spaghetti bolognese after weeks away from home. They might technically be the same thing, but by god they elicited wildly different feelings in you.

Cassian's cock was thrusting into her from behind, his chest pressed against her back, and Azriel was sucking at her clit relentlessly, lips occasionally colliding with Cas's length, his hands digging into her arse to pull her as close to him as possible, her legs thrown over his shoulders. Rhysand's tongue explored her mouth as his cock rutted desperately against her hip, one of his hands resting on the back of Azriels head, encouraging his movements, the other on your cheek, it's gentle caress juxtaposing the intensity of the scene. With Cassian's hand wrapped around her throat and the other grasping at her breast, she threw her head back in pleasure, hand reaching behind her to pull at his locks. The intensity of every sensation overwhelmed her as she reached her peak, vision going white as she felt that indescribable ecstacy consume her. 

When she came to, she was lying on a soft bed, back resting against Rhysand's chest, his hand gently stroking her hair. Azriel was massaging her feet, leaving the occasional kiss on her calf, while Cassian tenderly wiped her down with a damp cloth. While their actions were gentlemanly and sincere, the proud smirks on their faces told her this wouldn't be the last time.

[riddikuluslypotter]

I just watched the Meg 2, and it's literally like - what if we redid the first movie, but instead of one giant shark there's three? And a kraken? And some dinosaurs that are never really explained? And let's throw in some Spanish supervillains too. And they still managed to make billionaires the main antagonist, which is perfection.

None of these creatures have any instincts, and will attack absolutely anything - a boat, person, helicopter, each other, a wooden deck...

And one of the main characters almost definitely has Stockholm syndrome because he's convinced he's in a Free Willy situation and one of the sharks actually loves him (it doesn't)?

Oh also, this entire situation started because one of the sharks really wanted to fuck.

By the end of the film they have a lot of dead characters, one hell of a PR crisis to deal with, and a pregnant Megalodon because she was horny and by god she didn't waste the opportunity.

And you know what - I loved it. 10/10, perfection.

[riddikuluslypotter]

I'm currently staying in a house built in the 1860s - so here are my observations on what an accurate haunting would be like.

The ghost can't actually open the door, because the house has shifted over the last 160 years and it's stiff as shit. They are confined to hallways and racing in after you like a lost duckling.

They try to open the one door that isn't stiff, but the handle doesn't work. If they do get it open, they have my eternal appreciation. I've been trying that for ages!

They don't need to make the lights flicker, the wiring does that on its own. The ghost's actually a bit peeved that no one notices when they do this themselves.

Dropping the temperature doesn't raise any eyebrows. In fact - not much does.

A century old newspaper found inside an ominous box in the corner of a dusty room? Guess the old owner left it there.

A hidden staircase that's narrow and dark with peeling paint? Ooh fun, a servants entrance!

Creaking and scratching during the night? Probably possums.

Random screaming? Probably the wind.

This ghost's gonna coming up with the most creative shit just to try and get a reaction - best case scenario, we might blame the dog. They're gonna give up and just accept the new roomies.

[riddikuluslypotter]

Without gravity would balloons just yeet into the sky?

[riddikuluslypotter]

[riddikuluslypotter]

Apparently syphilis can rot your nose off so new theory - Voldemort had syphilis. That's all, you're welcome.

[riddikuluslypotter]

WAKE UP, Y'ALL, LYFT FUCKING SNAPPED.

NPR's article here.

[riddikuluslypotter]

As I was driving home I was playing music through one of those things that connect to a radio station and occasionally swaps with someone else's music if they're on the same channel.

Anyway, to the person that had their pop music interrupted by the line 'you make my balls so blue', I have no regrets.

[riddikuluslypotter]

I cannot stress enough how much everyone needs to read this right now. This deserves a Pulitzer.

artistic swimming and the benefits thereof

The Death Eater Synchronized Swimming Squad AU nobody knew they needed. Entirely inspired by @chdarling drunkenly saying that this would be Severus Snape's Olympic sport of choice.

Title: artistic swimming and the benefits thereof Chapters: 1/1 Summary: Becoming a Death Eater, as it turns out, requires a lot more than skill in the Dark Arts. The newest recruits to Voldemort's ranks may have mastered the Cruciatus, but until they've proven themselves adept at artistic swimming, they won't be accepted into his ranks. Severus Snape is determined to be a success. Regulus Black has concerns. Bellatrix Lestrange is not a certified lifeguard.

Becoming a Death Eater was hard work.

Recruits needed to prove their dedication in a number of ways, beginning with the obvious skills (dueling, stealth, curses), all the way down to the not-so-obvious (endurance, lung capacity, core strength).

The artistic swimming lessons had come about as a way of testing the latter. Invitations had been sent to six of the most promising sixth and seventh year Slytherins and the first lesson set for April 8, to be taught at the Great Lake by Bellatrix Lestrange herself. Initially, the recruits had believed it was a joke. It wasn’t until Lucius Malfoy turned up in Hogsmeade and informed them that he’d taken part in the lessons during his own seventh year that any of them began taking it seriously. According to Malfoy, the Dark Lord rewarded those who impressed him with their routines. Supposedly, his Dark Mark had been bestowed after he’d performed a flawless Rio figure during a duet performance with Bellatrix.

So the recruits began preparing in earnest. Severus Snape, Joseph Mulciber, Marcus Avery, Tatiana Yaxley, Evan Rosier, and Regulus Black were determined to be the best damn artistic swimming team that Hogwarts had ever seen.

At least, Severus Snape was determined. On the morning of the first lesson, most of the others were still treating the whole thing like a joke. This didn’t particularly bother Severus; he may not have seen much use in artistic swimming, but if the Dark Lord said it was necessary, he certainly wasn’t about to question it. If the rest of his classmates were content to look foolish, well, that was no different from usual, really.

Besides, he couldn’t help but think of Lily’s apparent newfound fascination with swimmers. Of course, it likely had to do with James Potter’s frequent lake excursions more than the sport itself, but surely this - which required grace, stamina, mental ability - was far more impressive than that flailing Potter called skill. Yes, he thought, Lily would almost certainly be impressed when she heard about his new hobby.

Spirits flying high with this happy thought, he made his way down to the lake.

Continue Reading on AO3

[riddikuluslypotter]

The moment she knew

Lily was terrified. The moment she reached the safety of the room realisation of what had just occurred hit her, overwhelming every bit of her body. She crawled under her bed and curled up there, using the dark space to clarify her thoughts.

Snape had betrayed her. He had called her a mudblood, insulted her very existence, sided with her oppressors.

What hurt the most was that she should have seen it coming. The way Severus acted at school, trying to impress his Slytherin friends, she should have seen it. But she didn't want to.

How could she? He had been her first friend in the Wizarding world. He had stuck by her when Petunia didn't, when her own sister made her feel insane.

What have you done, Severus? He'd chosen a path filled with darkness, and after today there was no turning back.

Lily felt more alone than ever before - her best friend was now her enemy, Potter was being arrogant and rubbing it in, and worst of all she'd pushed away everyone in her house while defending Snape.

As she lay in the small space, she became scared to leave. Everyone in Hogwarts would know now - they'd laugh at her, say 'I told you so', maybe they'd even side with Snape in calling her a mudblood.

The door to the dormitory opened, and footsteps signalled the arival of one of her roommates.

'Lils? James told me what happened, I'm so sorry. I just... I just wanted to let you know that I'm here. You know, if you wanted to talk or... stuff.' The voice belonged to Marlene, a fellow Gryffindor that Lily hadn't spoken to much despite them sharing a room. Lily had spent so much time with Snape she'd never made an effort to get to know her roommates.

Lily didn't respond, hoping that the girl would leave her alone, let her wallow in peace. After a few moments of quiet Lily heard movement and thought that perhaps Marlene had decided to go.

Then she heard the sound of someone lying down, and saw a hand reach into the dark towards her. She hesitated for a moment before tentatively grabbing it. The grip on her hand tightened, a sign of reassurance, and Lily finally let herself cry.

She wasn't alone.

[riddikuluslypotter]

The moment she knew

Lily was terrified. The moment she reached the safety of the room realisation of what had just occurred hit her, overwhelming every bit of her body. She crawled under her bed and curled up there, using the dark space to clarify her thoughts.

Snape had betrayed her. He had called her a mudblood, insulted her very existence, sided with her oppressors.

What hurt the most was that she should have seen it coming. The way Severus acted at school, trying to impress his Slytherin friends, she should have seen it. But she didn't want to.

How could she? He had been her first friend in the Wizarding world. He had stuck by her when Petunia didn't, when her own sister made her feel insane.

What have you done, Severus? He'd chosen a path filled with darkness, and after today there was no turning back.

Lily felt more alone than ever before - her best friend was now her enemy, Potter was being arrogant and rubbing it in, and worst of all she'd pushed away everyone in her house while defending Snape.

As she lay in the small space, she became scared to leave. Everyone in Hogwarts would know now - they'd laugh at her, say 'I told you so', maybe they'd even side with Snape in calling her a mudblood.

The door to the dormitory opened, and footsteps signalled the arival of one of her roommates.

'Lils? James told me what happened, I'm so sorry. I just... I just wanted to let you know that I'm here. You know, if you wanted to talk or... stuff.' The voice belonged to Marlene, a fellow Gryffindor that Lily hadn't spoken to much despite them sharing a room. Lily had spent so much time with Snape she'd never made an effort to get to know her roommates.

Lily didn't respond, hoping that the girl would leave her alone, let her wallow in peace. After a few moments of quiet Lily heard movement and thought that perhaps Marlene had decided to go.

Then she heard the sound of someone lying down, and saw a hand reach into the dark towards her. She hesitated for a moment before tentatively grabbing it. The grip on her hand tightened, a sign of reassurance, and Lily finally let herself cry.

She wasn't alone.

[riddikuluslypotter]

Update: we have added our little people!

Not the highest skill level but we tried haha

A family in our street walked around the neighbourhood today leaving these in people's letter boxes:

Their kids looked so excited to see what we would do with them, so let me know if you have any fun ideas!

[riddikuluslypotter]

These are all great ideas! I love the bugs haha, thankfully we have plenty of time on our hands to do something cool like this!

A family in our street walked around the neighbourhood today leaving these in people's letter boxes:

Their kids looked so excited to see what we would do with them, so let me know if you have any fun ideas!

[riddikuluslypotter]

A family in our street walked around the neighbourhood today leaving these in people's letter boxes:

Their kids looked so excited to see what we would do with them, so let me know if you have any fun ideas!

[riddikuluslypotter]

Guys I found the entrance to the chamber of secrets

Plot twist: it's in Australia