reynahendrix

[reynahendrix]

"you're rattling around—" noise. a reason that sent most running behind their doors. noise is what brought reyna closer. drew her in to reveal the cause of it all. the last four and a half years had been built upon protection to keep the town safe...safe...it had dwindled time and time again. safety had been out of her control — but still, she didn't cower.

"needed to make sure it wasn't anything unwanted." her position stilled. though... if any creature had made it's way in — what could reyna possibly do ? her mind often lead her to walk on a thin line. confusing duty, and giving up. though, her mind had been quiet, reyna hadn't been sure how much fight she had deep in her marrow anymore. nights felt longer. people slipped away as quickly as they appeared.

— there had also been expectancy that something terrible was going to happen. as it always did in the end. — the evil that shadowed this town was unforgiving. she failed to give what it asked. surely there was to be consequences. "are you alright ?" with the lights back on, reyna had ripped an old television out of a room. it's constant static felt like fizzing whispers. it's electronic box now in a shambled mess outside. she'd gone to clean it when hearing tessa's rattling.

Closed for @reynahendrix | Tessa & Reyna @ the Cinema

Up until now, Tessa hadn't done a ton of exploring of the cinema she called 'home'. She wasn't really sure when it had become that, to be honest - home. Was it that? Maybe it depended on one's definition. It was where she returned day after day to lay her head to rest on a makeshift bed. It was where she kept her things, few as they were in number (and even less actually useful things here, all electronics seemingly long dead at this point, probably never to be revived). But if she were being truly honest, nothing in this town was home for her. No where felt safe or comfortable, even with the dozen padlocks latching the doors.

She had been wandering aimlessly through the building, scavenging behind the concession stand like there might be some scraps left behind, wandering the aisles and rows of seats. There was something to be said about ducking behind 'employee only' doors, like she was doing something wrong, seeing another side of a place where she didn't truly belong.

Aimlessly she was flipping through things piled up in one of the old storage rooms - movie reels, posters, faded advertisements of times long past. She had gotten so wrapped up in it that when Reyna first approached, she hadn't even noticed. Not until something was bumped and clattered to the floor, startling her.

"Shit - knock much?" she scowled, looking up at the other. As if she had some sort of ownership over the room or something.

[reynahendrix]

"—alright." small, but accepting. reyna couldn't put up any fight against it. bones ached far too harshly than they should while her muscles throbbed in a raging war to heal. she would, in time. the tablets were placed between reyna's mouth — cooling water washed them down. a blessing to hear dry throat. the future held a favor for sami. reyna would find some way to make it up to the other woman. find some other way to soothe the woman's pain. it wasn't voiced, but reyna had been grateful. stubborness in isolation wasn't cutting it in these times. survival was winding tight.

"no, this has all been enough." a pause. one for reyna's lungs to catch more breath when her sore ribs only allowed such small amount. "thank you. really." the couch felt much more suitable than the hard floor. brutal to her wounded body. "water might be nice." she agreed, slightly nodding. "can you just not mention to others that i'm here ? that you haven't seen me if asked ?" reyna was cautious. known what a consequence could be if known about her harming other townspeople. she just needed time.

Samara knew what she was giving up in offering Reyna the tablets. Very few people knew she actually had them, lest word get out and someone come after them. But when Reyna's voice caught, unable to get through the sentence, it only solidified Sami's conviction about having her take them. "You need them more than me right now." She murmured, pushing her hand closer, nodding. Would she regret this decision later? Perhaps, but she knew the supply was limited anyways, and one less dose probably wouldn't make much difference in the grand scheme of things.

So the glass of water was offered again. "You need some proper rest. These will help." Sami didn't know what the other woman had been through, but it was clearly horrific, and she would heal even more slowly if she couldn't even rest properly.

"Is there anything else I can get you? I can help you get cleaned up later...a shower or a bath..." After the painkillers kicked in and she'd had some sleep, of course. @reynahendrix

[reynahendrix]

the metal enclosed around her wrist caused a distraction. the way it felt uncomfortable enough to remind her of the pain she'd caused. though, reyna was grateful for one thing — that whatever crawled in the deepest parts of her hadn't been feeding off someone like emmett. even if it wanted his life, reyna knew she hated the thought of it swallowing him whole. she was certain the voice would eat someone like emmett alive. chew him up, and spit him out. his softness was admirable, but softness in arcadia got you killed. "have you been to the clinic?" for the wound. reyna had assumed, but she was unaware of what happened after she fled to another dark route that night. there had been distruction to the town. her lips wouldn't ask how long he'd been in the cinema for. alone. bleeding out. she couldn't bother the air with anything but subtly. anything deeper rattled her emotions. it baffled the woman how emmett could speak such a thing. as if she couldn't feel safe in the space they provided together. "i handle my own." reyna's way of reassurance skirted the reality of her own horror. "the settlement has been generous." even if its not what she knew she had been deserving of. punishment of such doings could be harsh. reyna punished herself, but it still didn't feel like enough. her mind, her hand....they couldn't be so separate. emmett's forgiveness felt abrasive to her chest. an impacting warmth of discomfort that could drop her to the floor... if she'd been standing. reyna sat still. the smell of stew wafted. "i don't know." wasn't her straying from the topic. reyna found it all difficult to encapsulate. "it's something... dark. unforgiving." fingers twiddled. she knew saying such heinous things about it probably brought the voice an eery delight. "something evil, emmett. — does that make you afraid ?"

[reynahendrix]

rebecca ferguson + toothpick gayppreciation

[reynahendrix]

reyna's eyes were fixated on the duty removed from emery's head to rest upon the blanket. a curtain closed that allowed a deeper layer of the other woman to be exposed. even if reyna didn't quite know how to vocally articulate the emotions — she liked providing the safe space for emery to ease herself. somewhere along the curve of the hat, reyna was pulled away from her dipped mind. emery pulled her so far to the presence that reyna's chin turned. there was a need for her eyes to take in the sight of the other woman's face. to see if there was some underlying reason for the shift of conversation. the worry. the concern.

it was fair to speak upon. there hadn't been a high number of people who aged out in this place. numbers didn't dwindle on population because of natural causes. most deaths were by the curse of the town. them. the whispers in the trees. reyna knew this. four years had been a good amount of survival age, but there had been plenty who slipped soon after. "i'd tell you." eyes steadied themselves even at the notice of emery's gaze slipping to her hand. the thickened pink knuckles were telling when her mouth wasn't.

reyna wasn't certain how much those three words held true. she trusted herself enough to know that if there had been anyone she trusted her life with in this town — it'd always been the woman seated beside her. her tongue thirsted for a drink, but she sat still for a moment longer. "—and you'd take care of the situation if it needed to be done. right ?" the situation, her. she meant. if her mind slipped to insanity. if hurt was caused. reyna hoped there wouldn't be an abundance of grace because of the unspoken tenderness they shared. if that's what emery meant by being there for her, that's all reyna could hope for. to continue to keep everyone safe. even if she was the toxin.

Knowing Reyna the way she did, the small squeeze Reyna gave her meant a lot to the sergeant. It grounded her, as short their physical touch had been, as short Reyna's hand had been around her arm. Clearing her throat, she paused longer in her tracks than Reyna did and watched her crouch down to take her spot on the blanket she'd prepared. Are you sure? - had wanted to leave her lips, but she waited. The fragility of the other's voice hung in the air and Emery didn't want to take advantage of that. Reyna was truly... something else. Layered by strength that others didn't contain, Emery admired that - even if it meant losing her from the house that granted safety in numbers.

When her stay was confirmed and she lost the brunette's gaze to the water in front of them, Emery took her hat off and laid it next to her - surrendering herself to the need of a break. Taking in the sight in front of them for a hot minute. Feeling the autumn breeze kindly play with the softer strands of her hair. A few birds let their presence known in a tree not too far from them.

Stretching her limbs, she got into a more relaxed position - letting her guard down was something she still struggled with, even in her body language. It had become her second nature, to be ready to act the second shit hit the fan.

''How are you faring?'' It was an unfair question - a loaded one that she knew no one could answer with the usually expected answer. There was only one that came to mind that Emery knew would happily stay in this place - because her mother had been lost to this place and she'd been spared by Them. A reason she couldn't fathom, she didn't know different from Them being cruel, from hunting down those who couldn't defend themselves.

Emery didn't expect an answer, instead she moved on to perhaps a simpler question. ''Reyna - you'd tell me if you were losing your mind, wouldn't you?'' Tearing her gaze away from the pond, there was a look of worry on her face when her eyes met the side of Reyna's face before she glanced over to the bottle in her hand. The tenderness of her fingers around the bourbon, the way those hands had gone through a lot. ''If you see any shit that's ...'' not real, she wanted to say, knowing very well what a trick of the mind this town could be, ''...unlikely to be real and screws you mentally, you know I'm here - right?''

[reynahendrix]

the shock hadn't gone unnoticed. everything arcadia held within itself was hard for the mind to wrap sense around. everything was knocked from normalcy. at first — there was no tell. truth could be tucked in her mouth. kept warm without needing to spew it out in the open. reyna was easy towards his gaze. how calm could he see her when she could be so utterly violent. the most disastrous storms were as just.

flashes of the substance pushed into her mouth, drugs that healed her wounds and scrambled her mind, the lustful violence with these grounds leader. a truth unspoken. kept quiet so the innocence could be free with joel. days felt better that way — having someone not see you in the shadows. "i've been here longer than you have, you know." a small curl of lips. "— being a guard, it's important to be aware." was what she gave him. wondered about joel's reaction — if he knew her own ties. they hadn't been tightly wrapped as others. reyna hadn't converted out of her own morality. not quite, but she had felt roots sprouting.

He’d be lying if he pretended her words didn’t surprise him. Joel’s head shot towards Reyna, questioning more than judging, how she knew - if she perhaps had participated in these things. Her knowledge couldn’t have been mere whispers of rumors like his were, she sounded much more sure than even those who told him did. “  Oh?  ” he asked, hoping his voice sounded less awestruck than his thoughts were. In the little time they’ve come to know one another, he never questioned her history. Not how she got stuck there, or how things were in the beginning. His chatter always remained focused on seeing her smile and making her laugh. On making the sliver of time they spent in each other’s presence somehow joyous in the midst of the chaos. Adding a touch of childish humor to her breakfast or dinner. Things of that nature. Bringing his cup to his lips he asked, “  How do you sound so sure?  ”

[reynahendrix]

the burden of damage caused had worn a heavier weight than anything her body had gone through. bruises, scrapes; all would heal. her tiredness would eventually fade to something slightly more restful... — it had been traumatic what happened to charlie, to emmett. a force that diminished all that they'd bonded warmly over. only thankfulness had come to the fact that no one had lost their life. samara's voice was truthfully spoken. the sound of reassurance almost punctured reyna into something more tearful. the emotions kept her silent. only exchanging a small nod, a light twitch to her bottom lip before the other woman disappeared into the other room.

two tiny pills. on the outside world they came in abundance. here....like gold. reyna stiffened only her eyes moving to trace the shape of them in the palm of samara's hand. "—are you..." a breath. one that caused her ribs to wince in pain. "alright ?" reyna couldn't possibly strip someone away from something again. not if samara needed them knowing whatever amount would come to an end.

Samara didn't rush the process of making it down the stairs, letting it take as long as it needed, not commenting on how worn down the other woman seemed. "Of course." She murmured when Reyna breathed out the thanks, not making a deal of it.

Nodding at the request for water, Samara stopped in her track when the next question came, brow furrowing. "No." She answered quickly, shaking her head. "I know you're not a monster lurking upstairs." Knowing it was Reyna was very much a relief. "Let me get you some water." But as she stepped away, Samara knew that Reyna needed something more...

Ducking into her bedroom, she hesitated over the pouch that held her medications. Her lifeline to sanity. A lifeline she knew was limited, no more prescriptions, no pharmacy to visit for refills... Eyes pressed closed, Sami taking a deep breath, before she shook two pills into her palm. Reyna needed them.

Passing the kitchen to grab the glass of water, she crouched beside the sofa, offering both to the other woman. "Here, take these. Pain meds. They'll help." She tried not to think of the very limited supply. @reynahendrix

[reynahendrix]

the clamouring sound hitched reyna's breath. her back to the cool wall kept her calm — relieved to hear emery's reaction, " a-are you alright ?" the care had always been there. where reyna couldn't explain, her emotions drove for her in a tender tone. like many, reyna had been taken care of — protected by the common house leader. without emery, reyna would have lost her sanity years ago. walked her feet into the night and allowed those tormenting creatures to shread her apart like dinner meat. "...yeah, im here still." the settlment had a way of opening it's mouth, and reyna would invite herself in to be swallowed in its warm, sharp embrace. the settlement wasn't still. reyna could still hear commontion on the other side. frantic, confusion, someone still smacking some drums. it was hard to tell if there was any safety within the madness that already laid before them. "— stella ? .." the static fizzled while reyna searched faces she'd collected sight of. holding the button down to radio back, "i...i don't know em. i think i saw her sitting on a couch." lost in the commotion of darkness, reyna had excused herself quickly. disturbed by the stillness inside of herself. always expecting the worst to come now ever since she didn't do as the voice said.. to sacrifice. was this a signal ? that it was going to take tonight ?

emery's mind was free of reyna's true horrors. the other was concerned for her family... to have family.. her tongue slid across her bottom lip in the darkness. "i'm sure she'd alright." a promise reyna knew she couldn't keep. emery didn't deserve a bullshit filled response. "i-...i could go out and look for her." looking for stella would be doing good. following her duty of keeping others safe. to fall back in line of her pattern before routine slipped into darkness. reyna so desperately wanted to erase the harm she'd caused. even if people were unaware. reyna's mind may have been quiet from the voice, but it was not silenced to the terror of her actions caused by its control.

''Ow, fuck!'' Her lower leg had collided with the corner of what felt like a coffee table when she tried to feel for a place to sit. A whimper left her lips in pain, mentally cursing this fucking town for toying with them. The power outage was another form of mockery, she was sure. There was no way the settlement had caused the power outage across the entirety of town. Her fingers felt the comfort of a sofa after what felt like an eternity that she sat her ass down on. Gulping, she reached down to feel warmth trickling down her leg. It didn't feel like a wound, rather a cut, if only she could fucking see.

Putting aside the pain she was in, she needed to focus on the world outside. Remain alert for Their mockery, for tapping on the windows, for anything that told her they couldn't get in. The silence was much more eerie. She was still unsure if she was safe or not, so she had to keep quiet. Did she hear that right? Her thoughts were racing, wondering why, wondering about others she had lost to the darkness when they ran out. Her thumb found the button again. ''You're at the settlement still?'' Even though the sound coming from the walkie was nearly deafening to her ears, words laced with emotion were hard to make out. ''Have you...have you seen Stella?'' She could only hope she was safe... wherever she was. ''We got separated...I don't know where she is. I think I'm in one of the town houses,'' but sure she was not.

Pressing the walkie against her forehead in frustration, she needed to think. Think of a strategy, think of what to do. Run back to the settlement with the high chances of running back into danger? She didn't know if the main hall got overrun by Them, or what the settlement people themselves had planned. She was in the dark about it all - literally. ''I understand, Rey...'' there was a pause, in her mind, in her breathing, in her actions as she stared into nothingness, ''...things have happened in this town....things are still happening...fuck, I get it, Rey.''

[reynahendrix]

SILO Rebecca Ferguson as Juliette Nichols

[reynahendrix]

the metal enclosed around her wrist caused a distraction. the way it felt uncomfortable enough to remind her of the pain she'd caused. though, reyna was grateful for one thing — that whatever crawled in the deepest parts of her hadn't been feeding off someone like emmett. even if it wanted his life, reyna knew she hated the thought of it swallowing him whole. she was certain the voice would eat someone like emmett alive. chew him up, and spit him out. his softness was admirable, but softness in arcadia got you killed. "have you been to the clinic?" for the wound. reyna had assumed, but she was unaware of what happened after she fled to another dark route that night. there had been distruction to the town. her lips wouldn't ask how long he'd been in the cinema for. alone. bleeding out. she couldn't bother the air with anything but subtly. anything deeper rattled her emotions. it baffled the woman how emmett could speak such a thing. as if she couldn't feel safe in the space they provided together. "i handle my own." reyna's way of reassurance skirted the reality of her own horror. "the settlement has been generous." even if its not what she knew she had been deserving of. punishment of such doings could be harsh. reyna punished herself, but it still didn't feel like enough. her mind, her hand....they couldn't be so separate. emmett's forgiveness felt abrasive to her chest. an impacting warmth of discomfort that could drop her to the floor... if she'd been standing. reyna sat still. the smell of stew wafted. "i don't know." wasn't her straying from the topic. reyna found it all difficult to encapsulate. "it's something... dark. unforgiving." fingers twiddled. she knew saying such heinous things about it probably brought the voice an eery delight. "something evil, emmett. — does that make you afraid ?"

The truth will set you free. Emmett heard that phrase dozens of times in his life, a repeat offender in the sermons the priests in his town’s church often used. Not until Arcadia did he really appreciate it, either. Truth was vital here, with what They were outside, to be honest with the people that you were with and having no choice but to trust them with your safety, with your life. Emmett and Reyna had lived together in quiet harmony for the last few months, and the truth was that he would have gone absolutely insane if he had no company. It made things a little bit lighter, even if they were both reserved in their own special way. It made their moments together meaningful.

So sharing the building with no one but the cat and the ghosts that surely haunted the halls of it nightly was a tough switch to get used to. If Nika hadn’t stopped by and informed him where Reyna had been spending so much time, Emmett was likely to assume the worst, after so long. Since that day, he’d been trying to piece together memories as best as possible, trying to play it back in his head. Anything before or after the stabbing was hard. He remembered being on the roof and he remembered the pain that radiated through his body at the fall. He didn’t remember getting dragged through the snow, or anything in between. The image of the knife plunging into his chest, no matter how hard he tried, repeated itself a minimum of five times at least every time he thought about that day, the most shocking and traumatic thing Emmett had probably ever encountered in his sheltered life. That’s all he kept going back to. 

There were no memories about what Reyna was up to, just the dark shadow that had loomed over her face. The whispers under her breath, to herself, maybe - because they most certainly weren’t for Emmett. He’d been so scared that she’d actually kill him. Tears came easily that night, something that was typically treated as a purge didn’t do anything but raise his anxiety when dawn broke. “I understand, if you don’t feel safe here,” he said, his voice quiet. He understood, and he didn’t like it, but now that he knew she was alright enough… the thought did make him feel safer. He didn’t want to think like that, but he couldn’t help it. 

“I forgive you,” he mumbled, not looking at her when he said it. Emmett knew it was the right thing to do, but he wasn’t totally convinced he believed the words out of his mouth. “But what was it?” he asked, looking up finally. “What did you see?” And will I see it next?

[reynahendrix]

reyna despised the way her fingers needed to wrap around the railing and grip it with whatever might was left in her worn body. how dependent she had become... needy for help. how helpless she was becoming. reyna's lungs wanted to inhale deeply, but her bruised ribs protested causing her to lean into samara more. "thanks." there was meaning in the blunt word. the guard couldn't process how much she had felt grateful for the hospitality, and care given. everything was too heavy right now. all she wanted to do was lay still. quiet her mind, and the battle that busied inside of her. "d-do you have a glass of water ?" the woman winced as she moved to the couch. laying on her side felt best. "are you still..." a small pause, "afraid?" of me ?

Samara was thankful when Reyna actually took her hand, a connection between them that would make it easier for Sami to coax the other out of the corner she'd shrunk herself into. She didn't tug or pull at the other, just returned the squeeze when it was offered, letting the woman take her time at unravelling herself. "Take your time." Sami had nowhere to be, no pressing appointments. Sure, most days she would make her way to the clinic, keeping busy better than stewing away in solitude, but it wasn't a job that would fire if she were late or skipped a day.

When Reyna found her feet, Sami carefully slipped under the woman's arm, giving her some extra support as they slowly made their way to the door and the eventual stairs. What Sami wouldn't do for a working elevator right now. Though luckily it was only one flight, taken one step at a time, Samara making sure that Reyna used the rail as much as she needed.

Making it to her door, which Samara had left cracked in case a hasty retreat had been required, she nudged it open, guiding Reyna to the couch. "Here. Sit or lay down. Whatever feels better." @reynahendrix

[reynahendrix]

a voice on the other end hadn't been what reyna had expected. it had been desperation for comfort. for help that the woman never asked for. too prideful that she could handle anything on her own. time had been so tiring. reyna was almost surprised whenever her eyes opened in the morning to take in another day of life. some nights she wrapped herself in hope that she wouldn't wake. not another day of this...just take her away. the static crinkled with emery's voice. what had the other woman meant by safe ? what measure of safety did any of them have these days ? "i..." dry mouth caused her words to pause. unsure of what more to say, reyna contemplated not answering. just twist the button off to keep her truth from spilling. keep emery safe. "i'm at the settlement." voice cracked through. reyna had mapped what little she knew of the settlement in her mind. branded it in a time of need. never quite trusting to rely on those around her. she'd learned to survive.

tucked in a small dark room, reyna hooked her guard amulet beside the door in hopes that nothing else had lurked in the dark enclosed around her. "where are you ?" maybe emery hadn't heard the shake in her voice. maybe she hadn't heard the need to tell her what had been going on inside of her. reyna wanted to detour her emotions. afraid that emery would force her punishment for charlie...emmett.. "i've been" tell her. the adoration reyna held towards the other woman caused her voice to once again pause. reyna hadn't let many close to her, not under her surface. "so tired, em."

From the moment the lights had gone out at the settlement after a flicker or two, panic had struck people in one way or another. Emery had kept her calm - but even she could keep her calm to a certain degree. With everything that's happened lately, Emery's mental had been challenged too. Taken a toll for the worse. When the lights didn't come back on, like they usually would after a few seconds, a minute, an hour even - however long the town liked to toy with its residents, it made those who weren't part of the settlement want to return to their homes. Out of underlying fear of what fucked up plan the settlement had in store for the rest of town. Despite the great danger that waited for them outside - lurking in the dark, people had began to run. Run into the complete and utter darkness that laid over town.

Emery had ran too. After people, to keep them safe, to try and guide them back to the common house, after those who were less inclined to defend themselves. But when panic struck, groups could scatter and somehow Emery ended up alone. Ended up by herself, locked herself in an abandoned house in town. In the dark she had tried to feel for an amulet beside the door, failing at it in her state of mind. She didn't know if she'd be safe here, didn't know if anyone had grabbed the amulet, didn't know if it was there or not in the pitch black she was facing.

What was that? Did someone just say her name? Was there someone inside with her? Was she losing her mind or...?

A static noise startled her. It came from the belt around her hip, she realized quickly and reached for the device. Her grip around the walkie talkie was tight, her hand trembled as she brought it up to her ear to make sure she wasn't just hearing things. The voice that came from the other end made her painfully exhale the air she'd kept inside her lungs for too long.

''Reyna?'' Her voice faltered worse than she wanted to let on, she forgot to press the designated button. Her thumb slipped from it once, causing static on the other end before her voice came through. ''Rey? Is that you?'' She wanted to be sure. Needed to be sure she wasn't losing it. That the dark wasn't playing tricks on her. That this goddamn town wasn't messing with her mind. ''Where are you?''

One beat. Two seconds. Three words. ''Are you safe?''

[reynahendrix]

END THREAD.

Juno watched with intrigue - head tilting sideways as Reyna opened her lips for the fungi. Invested in its delivery, would she recoil and spit it out like it burned at her tongue or would she simply drop to the ground before Juno? Either option was acceptable as Juno wasn’t interested in yet another mushroom for their daily omelet. They were much more interested, however, in Reyna all of a sudden. Before there had been no such thing, but the little care for her safety was interesting and inviting. That Juno understood better than they’d care to verbalize. 

The illusion of a smile overtook Juno’s features as delight entered their chest. Eyes fixed onto the women before her - who also seemed to want to prove a point by staring back at them - they waited patiently for a response. A reaction if it came down to it, though Juno wasn’t expecting too much. So far, most all the plants they had found were either hallucinogenics or edible in more ways than one. A few they learned through time functioned as good pain relieve or aided in combatting infections, but the majority were pretty useless. Juno had to keep in mind that they’ve only been doing this two years now, and that while they believed themselves proficient in everything they did, they were still simply learning. 

“You will have to tell me how you fare overtime.” Juno informed, pulling out one of their journals to jot down the experiment they concocted. “If it is poisonous in any way, you’ll feel some pain in your stomach, nausea can be easily assumed, along with vomiting and even diarrhea. Don’t dispel anything, really. Muscle weakness is a mighty one too, so you’d perhaps do well with staying near the clinic. Keep a log of it all. I’m interested.” 

After they finished writing all of the ways the fungi could affect, making a checklist really, Juno ripped the page from their journal and handed it forward, “Do it as you feel it. And if nothing presents itself well… I guess I’ll know. Right?”

[reynahendrix]

END THREAD.

She bookends her murmur with more breath.     And in doing so,   reveals the underlying milky-fog of lack.     The opposite of a dying wife,   who emphasises the final word over another gasp.     And another,   to carve death from rattle.     You breathe,   once,   and you are alive.     Blissful second in the space between the final breath,   and the final heartbeat.     The cavity of memory.     Nothing to salvage but a face.     The clear view of a shuttered woman.     A tow-headed woman,   at the centre,   flail-less.     What’s yours will be mine,   and what’s mine will evaporate like heat in the sand.     Smoke from gunshot.     Life made latent.     Hill falling emptily into another valley.     Bereft.     You know a spooked ram when you see one.     Only,   this time,   someone gnarled this before you.     He blinks and clicks.     Tongue and eyelid,   tickling alike.     You must hurry,   mujer,   to the point you won’t admit.     The you that won’t reflect.     She,   doll-dead.     Living face   /   Dead heart.

‘   Sifting through these is useless then,   no?     There are better questions to ask.   ’     He looks at the back-face of the record she chose.     Smattered with pen-scratches and sticky dust.     The indents of fingerprints long-forgotten.     Energy long-spent.     He cares little for preservation.     They are beyond life now.     There is nothing to remember.     Not even their names.     Pen in hand,   and they couldn’t write their name.     So why ask   ––   why opt to remember?     And she would apply this,   only,   to herself but not to that which she touches.     To the sight she could bestow upon the next whisper of herself.     Like a dying star,   sun-wide and blank,   clenching desperately at its rays.     My remains will live.     Please.     Let them live.     He plucks a different record.     Obscure.     It doesn’t matter.     He reaches back to place upon the shelf behind him.     A levelled stare at her,   somewhere between serious and gentle.     Cradling your dead sheep.     Gaunt meat.     You will cleave because of the despite.     ‘   Like how do you sleep at night?     Although their answer is easy.     They sleep like the dead.   ’

[reynahendrix]

END THREAD.

Despite Shaw’s best attempts, an expletive sputtered from Reyna’s mouth regardless. However practiced their hands were, they would not be able to take control of a body’s instinctive revolt against being put back together—pain, of course, was a condition of healing. How stubborn the body could get when it had been damaged, in itself a warning. Only—Reyna had rarely taken heed of it. The doctor was no stranger to people who’d seen anger as a sort of release. The only way out of hurt was through. Never mind the exit wound, corrections, the aftershocks. Suffering often sought an exit.

They had offered some distraction for it, at least. The matter of birds and their birdsong. In the absence of music, of radio waves cutting through static, there would only be the sounds of nature that would accompany them. The bitter relief that they would never be quite alone in this world: the loneliness of humans punctured by birdsong, bleats of goats, the throaty caws of roosters. Shaw could sense at least that the guard needed some distraction, even as the invitation for conversation was uttered with a rough cadence and through gritted teeth.  Shaw complied, “Are you asking me what are birds like?” They paused briefly in their ministrations, letting their fingers hover through the first shift of the metacarpals. Surveyed to check whether it was now properly in place—no unnatural protrusions of recoil of shifted bone. The pause almost doubled as a warning, the second and third shifts still to come. “I think their evolution is interesting. Their birdsong even more. The way birds hone them for over hundreds of thousands of years, almost like us human’s culture of ritual transmission.” How wasted humanity was that singing was no longer part of our natural repertoire, and instead something that needed to be learned, or taught. That healing had become something feared rather than instinctual. 

“Just the one tree, then.” Shaw brushed over the remaining abrasions over Reyna’s knuckles, the imprints the bark had left. They would not be so crass as to refuse her the next time it would happen—perhaps not today, or tomorrow, but weeks or months later. Time did not carry well here but at least Shaw had come to rely on her visits. They would not hesitate as she came. The doctor’s manner could not be shaken. Hardened in their manner to the same degree as the tenderness of their grip. Preparing for the next metacarpal, Shaw adjusted their hold again and said, “I don’t think an angry doctor would benefit the town very much.” A shift of their gaze, from hand to Reyna’s steel-set eyes, “Would you like me to get angry, Reyna?” It was not quite a question; if it were, it was a hypothetical one. “I could just make this entire process hurt,” a slight smirk now ghosting the corner of their mouth, a wit traded only in passing, “Perhaps that would be an incentive for you not to hurt your hand more, hm?”

[reynahendrix]

END THREAD.

Had Roux kept herself tender enough to have sought kinship in the offerings of others, the likeness reflected in Reyna’s admission would have warmed her with a sense of solace. Better off. She thought, dully, of the transformative chrysalis she had self-made and clawed through in the months following her arrival. The identity she had shed, name and all, unceremoniously and bloodily changing in spirit beyond recognition until only her features resembled an echo of what was. Held with such a different energy, she ensured she would never make the same mistakes again. Trading pencils for knives and commendations for targets; she drew far better now. A decade of practice. “It’s been much better for me,” her affirmation was offered earnest yet thick, spoken at a hush to the walls of the building in the hopes they would fall flat or be absorbed by the brick. Tucked forever into the aged cement like a secret, as most moments beheld at the station were.

Instead of lingering in the proverbial doorway of something more, Roux focused on an easier fragment — the jagged slice which reflected memories clouded by a reverie encased beneath monochrome film and kept commercially clean. Something safe, neutral, and common: vices. Incontestably, alcohol was subject Arcadia paled in comparison to anywhere else, no matter if one was sober or an alcoholic. Homemade brews of a couple experimental weeks would never match years of craftsmanship. “Every time a car crashes in, I check bags before I check pulses,” a lopsided grin accompanied the statement, her luck with the task rarely reaping successful results but built off the same logic: if they’re dead or dying already, they won’t miss a few seconds of attention.

“You would be a bourbon girl,” she quipped, eyeing the ever-present tenseness of Reyna’s posture with a renewed sense of appreciation. "Don't tell me..." Weighted in Reyna's palm, Roux imagined an overlay of a crystalline glass supporting an inch or more of golden liquor, slender fingers cradling the vessel with a grip both possessive and taut. "Neat?" It was the stature of someone who couldn’t — wouldn’t — unwind without a ritualised process to justify the luxury of a moment’s pause. Perhaps, like Roux, in the past Reyna had once also shared in the perils of an internalised sense of cyclical refrain and reward. The side effects of prolonged discipline turning into a habitual process — to withhold pleasure beneath the pinned pressure of shame’s thumb as means of performing better. Roux had already done her time of retrospection and reflection, speculating regretfully over her past self’s useless fretting and measly non-life threatening goals, the husk which denied overconsumption and treated leeways as a dead ends. Most past life memories discoloured by wasted potential been examined to the point of exhaustion on her lonesome, their bittersweet residue no longer rousing much more than indifference. Being a stranger to herself was as much a part of her as any other bone. Basal human wants and needs took precedence now, starving the past and fattening the present for a butchered future. “A clean strain of vodka’s what I’d kill for,” reinforcing her interest in the conversational fringes of their exchange, devoid of any layers and invocations to wonder and wander down over more entrapping pathways, Roux moved restlessly to and fro as she spoke, sporadically pacing from wall to front step with her heels dragging. “This place makes bottom shelf liquor worth a second glance. Like any Grey Goose snobs wouldn’t flip the world for a Smirnoff Ice right now.”

[reynahendrix]

something didn't feel right. the air felt off enough for reyna to leave the liquid untouched. nothing consumed. it was frighting, a silent mind. the quiet had always brought her so much peace, but now it only grew with terror. anticipation for something to create nothing but utter chaos. there was no held trust in her quiet mind. no trust in the way the settlement celebrated in such an absolute hell hole. no. reyna felt like they were in the eye of the storm. "hmm?" the woman had been drifting away from joel's presence for the last handful of minutes now.

a small shake of her head began to reel her back to the shore of reality. "what ?" couldn't be anything but the same chatter in question that vibrated the town about the place. "sex? drugs? it's true." beautiful havoc. something reyna couldn't fit the pieces together of why she found some amount of comfort in the settlement...

✶ 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 ; earlier at the party ✶ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 ; open

Parties were easy to get lost in. If there was one thing that Joel enjoyed more than unraveling in his paintings, it was getting the chance to fuck around with a pretty girl or two. He didn’t tend to linger for longer than a few hours with them, but just enough to enjoy himself, make them happy in some way, and effortlessly depart. No promises of another time, or even seeing each other again. Just live by the moment and enjoy it while it lasted. That was his defining romance, though he had often yearned for more. Granted their… death? upon entering Arcadia, all yearning of finding more became moot. “  How much of the rumors do you think are true?  ” he asked, taking a sip of his - whatever the fuck they put in the container - drink and turning towards his current partner in crime. He couldn’t be caught dead hanging around alone in that house of horrors.