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[redsweetjones]

Before and after...

[redsweetjones]

You ever have the most to say but you don’t. I think sometimes we act with the intentions of self preservation only to end up hurting ourselves. It’s weird. I struggle with this everyday. However, I know that people just don’t care. If it doesn’t benefit them then the motions of lips fall on deaf ears that don’t ring. Then we end up saying shit we really don’t mean because guess what they just aren’t listening. I get it and I hope my future self learns to voice her thoughts more. Be a lil bit more relatable and less in my head.

[redsweetjones]

Bawwwwdy

[redsweetjones]

[redsweetjones]

Mourning...

Today is the day.

I spent countless hours preparing for this..

You know

This heartache in which I’ve endured

To speak on it

To think on it

Damn

To dream on it

I ache now

In every place that holds muscle memory of you

The way you would hold my gaze

It never phased you

Or that small touch on my hand to let me know

you’re near

I miss you

I miss us

Whatever thing we use to be

I miss that

Our friendship

To talk for hours about our new accomplishments

And how life is wild and kicking our asses

but we’re Surviving

I’m back in school now

That shit is crazy

We can talk about that

But how is your mom

Hey baby

We would say or

To laugh because you know I’m silly

My jokes fly

They bounce

hell at times they even cut

But I get it

What’s the point in saying goodbye

If you don’t have to

Is it just something that’s understood until it no

Longer stands

I planned

This whole talk out in my head

In the beginning it sounded

Simple

If I say this

Then we’ll just end up here

Again

So I mourn you

Your flesh

My love

Your imperfections

Your grace

Goodbye now and I hope you rest

[redsweetjones]

One of my favorite vinyls. The Queen Bxtch!!! • #Hardcore #MyFavorite #Vinyl #LPs #VinylMePlease #Art #LilKim #VinylCollector #Music #VinylQueen #RecordPlayer #NowSpinning #Album #AlbumCover #NewYork #MusicLover #MusicIsMyLover #VinylGirl #RedsVinyls https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3_j2zlxPk/?igshid=16hiprgbff13f

[redsweetjones]

“Nevermind who you thought I was, I’m Rick James B!%+h.” • #Motown #RickJames #TheOrginalBaddie #GreatestHits #MaryJane #SuperFreak #YouAndI #GiveItToMeBaby #17 #EbonyEyes #DanceWitMe #ColdBlooded #YouTurnMeOn #Vinyl #Legend #LPs #LP #VinylCollector #VinylQueen #RecordPlayer #NowSpinning #Album #AlbumCover #MusicLover #MusicIsMyLover #VinylGirl https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3BHwHlDLn/?igshid=dasqndmn28ai

[redsweetjones]

Continue having tough conversations.

[redsweetjones]

It’s been a while

[redsweetjones]

She’s laughing, she’s exploring and having fun.

[redsweetjones]

[redsweetjones]

Hmmmm...

A bunch of random deep thoughts

Some stuff feels heavy

I think being lighter forces me to not be a poker face.

[redsweetjones]

I Wonder Vol 30

I wonder does your body miss me on a random Sunday afternoon. Does it say I miss her and I want her here soon. Or is it jumping for joy that I’m gone. I mourn still Not because you’re gone but mostly because I’m writing stupid love letters Hoping that my words reach your eyes It is a surprise that I’m using my words to gather your attention I’ve always been a fiend for your attention Even if it came with a dose of can you relax a bit I could relax But what’s the fun in that I know it’s weird that I kept coming back Hoping and matching energy But now I wonder Was that match ever lit Or was I just on fire Hoping to shake you up a bit We don’t cry over spilled milk. But what if you were enough to eat my all berries with. They say if you love someone Let them go But I never loved you so I guess it’s only right that I let go. I wonder will the hearts from our flesh meet again Cause I’d love to do this all again.

[redsweetjones]

Gone

I’d like to think that you and I are just parting ways for a few. We both have some growing to do. I’m not saying I haven’t messed up. but one of my best decisions was you. I can’t believe our connection has been diminished to when I see you I see you or a like on instagram. Like I wasn’t just laying under you Like my soul hasn’t been attached at your flesh and my energy wasn’t unmatched I mean it’s me If we had a home together I would sing some old tunes and play records that I know we both could vibe to You can never say goodbye so I’ll make my words cry and paint pictures feel less But if this is goodbye I’m glad that I gave it a try.

[redsweetjones]

I tend to overthink a lot of things and ponder loosely on what hasn’t happened but yesterday!!! Pure bliss! I appreciate the love and awesome energy that was in that room last night. My friends that drove miles to see me in rare form. My family & friends that supported! Dione’s Diary is up on SoundCloud!!! Take some time out of your day and go listen to it! 😘😘😘❤️ . . . . . #PoetryAlbumRelease #StartingBlocks #BackToWork #Soundcloud #MoreMusic #MoreVisuals #Family #Friends #Love #Happiness #LevelingUp #Blessings #Album #Artist #MostSensitiveAboutMyShhh #MoeshaInspired #JDillaInspired #BigKangProducedIt #GetYourBeatsReady

[redsweetjones]

Enough

When I was younger I always struggled with the word enough.

I ate 10x more anyone my size so my grandma would joke

Asking “girl have you had enough to eat.”

“You eat like you don’t have no bottom in you.”

She’s country so they say those type of things and you just get it.

Being an over achiever getting B’s was never enough.

I wanted my 3.8 gpa to be higher, I never wanted to settle.

So I went to track practice less and focused on my grades more

Later find a man who never called, let alone texted

But he had enough time to send me mixed signals and give me less than what I deserved

so I thought

I said all these things to help you understand that

It’s never you

You are enough, they never were

And until you know your worth you’ll continue to question if you are just that

Enough

[redsweetjones]

remember when we had to get out of bed to get on the internet