redeyeflyguy

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! As the weather gets chillier and nights come sooner, time spent sitting on one’s porch in a chair that deliberately rocks back and forth just isn’t as feasible or comfortable. However, that time will come again and when it does, the rocking chairs will rise and fall back and rise and fall forward again and it will be wonderful!

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! The Mario Kart franchise is filled with many various roads, circuits and speedways but some of its most memorable tracks are the ones that make you say “Wait, should I really be driving here?”. One of the first of these kinds of tracks (that isn’t one of Bowser’s many real-estate ventures) is Daisy Cruiser from Mario Kart: Double Dash a.k.a. Why are we driving on a cruise ship? And I don’t mean “Oh, they built a racetrack on a cruise ship” like how they built a racetrack in an amusement park for infants. No, I mean you drive past the pool deck down the stairs into the dining room out to the promenade on the ship’s bow and back around. You can even take a detour into the engine room and get launched out the smokestack. The whole of Princess Daisy’s luxury ocean liner is yours for the driving and it absolutely works. I’d also be remiss if I didn't mention the Mario Kart 7 version where you can drive in the pool and the engine room is somehow flooded. Bottom line: One of both games’ best courses and a not so relaxing but so wonderful getaway from circuits named after Mario characters.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! Pixar has made some good movies. Great ones in fact and, outside of Ratatouille and maybe Soul, I don’t think any of them will mean as much to me as Finding Nemo. Why is that? Is it the emotional story of a father learning to let go of his trauma and let his physically disabled son be his own fish while at the same time has his son coming of age and finding self-confidence? Is it the gorgeous underwater environments that still hold up more than two decades later paired with Thomas Newman’s ethereal score? Is it the memorable cast? The funny moments? The heartfelt moments? The fact that I may have watched this more than any other movie except maybe The Emperor’s New Groove and Shrek 2? Do I even need to answer that question since I am 100% confident that you know where this is going? Did I really need to turn this into a meta joke?...ok, I lost my train of thought. The point is that Finding Nemo is wonderful for all those reasons except the last two which weren’t reasons at all. Such a great movie. I’m going to go watch it again and maybe have some cake.

[redeyeflyguy]

Soooooooo…remember Hadestown? That musical I mentioned last March? Well, I saw it again. A couple weeks ago in fact and It was just as awesome (maybe even a little bit more) the second time around. Problem is, I can’t do a post about Hadestown because I already did a post about Hadestown. So what do I do? I’ll tell you what I’ll do! I’ll talk about Hades! As in, the mythological figure originating from Greece. After all, the Lord of the Underworld is ripe for interpretation and exploration in popular media for several reasons. For one, you’d think that a god with that title would be super evil, an ancient Satan equivalent and many pop-culture interpretations cast Hades in this role like in Disney’s Hercules or Kid Icarus: Uprising or at least make him a major antagonist and/or a straight up jerk like Supergiant’s Hades or the aforementioned Hadestown. It does make sense though. Death is a very spooky fact of existence. Yet, if you look at the original mythology, Hades is one of the most reasonable authority figures in the pantheon. He does his job, keeps his word, punishes those who absolutely deserve it and despite kidnapping his wife, Persephone, he treats her remarkably well and only has eyes for her (except that one time with Minthe but frankly, other Greek gods have done much worse). Right away, we have an interesting dichotomy between perception and action, helped by the fact that Hades really wasn’t talked about too much in Greek mythology since, as previously stated, death be spooky. Still I don’t think that it's a coincidence that most of the times that Hades or a being named after him shows up, the results are pretty spectacular (see any of the Hades antagonist examples I just named earlier). Amongst the #wonderful pantheon of mythological figures who have gone to enchant and inspire with their tales and deeds over the millennia, Hades comfortably sits amongst them and I can’t wait to see what he inspires next. P.S. Go listen to/watch Hadestown. I’m serious. Go do it and don’t look back.

P.S. I’d be remiss if I didn’t link this video detailing the myth of Hades and Persephone from another of my favorite YouTube content creators, Overly Sarcastic Productions. Red does fiction. Blue does history. Together, they make an unstoppable super team that makes learning about both fun, engaging and enjoyable. Highly recommend their videos.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! I’m going to be honest. Not a big fan of Final Fantasy VII’s big bad, Sephiroth. Great look, great themes, some good scenes and I love how his voice actors include two Supermen, the best Jojo villain and one Backstreet Boy. But Lifestream, his personality is so boring and his obsession and rivalry with Cloud is poorly characterized. Even TeamFourStar couldn’t save him for me. That being said, he is one of my current mains in Super Smash Bros Ultimate both due to my primary complaints not mattering and his super fun kit that includes ridiculously long sword normals and two cool and unique projectiles. The more unique one (and the true subject for today’s post) being Shadow Flare. With a snap of Sephy’s fingers, a thin purple beam appears. If it connects, a purple orb starts rotating around the target and after a few seconds, it will detonate, flinching the target and doing a small amount of damage. You can also place more orbs with subsequent uses and/or charge it up to place up to a max of 5 deadly spheres. The most important part: there is no way for your prey to be free of them…sort of. They can run into other players and damage them but in a 1 v 1, all they can do is shield, dodge or get stuffed. This ability isn’t about the damage. It’s about control. Making the opponent dance right into your grubby little hands so you can launch them into the stratosphere. Bonus points if you launch them then the orbs detonate. It is the perfect tool of an manipulative edgelord and that’s why Shadow Flare is wonderful.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! The sun. Once worshiped, now respected. It helps grow our food. It brightens our days. It warms up our lives that wouldn’t exist without it. Oh Mr. Sun. Sun. Mr. Golden Sun. Please shine down on us. Our days our ten times as wonderful with you around…sunburns notwithstanding.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! A long time ago, the world famous Disneyland Jungle Cruise was intended to be a serious attraction with live animals. In reality, we wouldn’t get such an attraction with Animal Kingdom’s Kilimanjaro Safaris but even way before 1995, the cracks would begin to show as Disney’s audio-animatronic replacements just couldn’t hold the same spot in people’s hearts. So what to do? Make it more colorful, make it more silly and add puns. So, so, so, so many terrible jungle themed puns. That’s how we got the Jungle Cruise we all know, love and tolerate today. It is basically a family comedy act on a boat and while you get a lot of the same jokes on repeat rides, a skipper who can deliver those jokes well can make this trip down the river more than worth the wait. Which makes sense since more than any other Disney attraction, this one lives and dies by its cast members. Combine that with some sporadic audience participation and some fun visuals and even an atmospheric moment or two and it’s plain to see why the Jungle Cruise is and will continue to be a wonderful classic among theme park rides. And come on. What other attraction on the planet has the eighth wonder of the world, you know it, you love it, it’s THE BACKSIDE OF WA-TEEEEEEEEEER!!!! 10/10. P.S. You know it just occurred to me that I did not put any jungle puns in this post. This being the case, please type your own jungle puns in the comments below to make me laugh, weep and/or convulse. P.P.S. As for that movie starring Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt. Fun time. Liked the leads. Liked the references. Why is Metallica here? Might watch it again. Thumbs to the side. P.P.P.S. When I originally posted about the Jungle Cruise, I only posted the queue music paired with hilarious interjections by Albert AWOL of AWOL Airwaves. For your Jungle Cruise related music today, I present Skipper Dan by Weird Al Yankovic. The eternal story of a man who wanted to be an actor but finds himself unable to escape his position on the Senegal Sal.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! Let me ask you a question. If you were making music for a video game and you had just made the “best song” in the game, where would you put it? Maybe at the final boss or a big set piece or a visually interesting stage? Mario Strikers Charged put its “best song” in the tutorial stage a.k.a. The Classroom. I am not kidding and I don’t have a problem with it. This game frankly has a phenomenal soundtrack from its energetic and rock out loud stadium things to genre spanning character themes that manage to capture the essence of every Mushroom Kingdom on the field. But the name of the game of The Classroom is funk. I mean so much funk. I mean so much funk that if Funky Kong was in this game, he would have a violent explodey death from funk overload. Give it a listen. The beat is just too #wonderful not too. Also, I promise you won’t die a violent explodey death by doing so (unless your name is Funky Kong then I make no promises).

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! Raspberries. Raspberries are really tasty and are tasty in a whole bunch of different scenarios. Their color is nice (actually, they come in several different colors). They’re one of the only berries that I think still taste great when artificial or in a sugar syrup. I mean, I don’t know. Raspberries are wonderful. What more is there to say? Feel free to take that statement in a non-rhetorical fashion if you wish.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! You know the phrase “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”? What if you don’t want to physically tough the other party’s back? What if you want to scratch your own back and can’t reach certain spots? Well, there’s always this aptly named implement. Wonderful for all your back scratching needs!

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! So recently, I found a video that quoted an interview from Satoshi Tijiri, the creator of Pokémon, that Porygon was created out of the building pressure from consumers and higher-ups to create 3D games. Essentially, Porygon was created as a joke. Yeah, that checks out. Aside from having two unique buffing moves in the form of Sharpen and Conversion (one sucky and the other niche), Porygon really wasn’t all that special (or useful) in Gen 1. What it needed was an upgrade (literally). Meet Porygon 2, Porygon’s evolved form. Not only does it have a smoothed out look, but also a new more interesting form of Conversion and 20 additional points to every single stat. Definitely not as much a joke this time around (it’s also more adorable). But could we go further? We can…but maybe we shouldn’t have (That’s a lie. We absolutely should have). Meet Porygon Z, an evolution that turns the digital duck into a glitchy twitchy mess (guess that’s what happens when your evolution item is a “Dubious Disc”). It’s not all bad though. Z buffs and changes its stats around to become a fast, specially offensive powerhouse on top of getting access to the ability, Adaptability, which ups the damage bonus it gets from using a Normal type attack from 1.5x to 2x. Z’s presence also gave its untainted form a boost through the Eviolite item introduced in Gen 5. An item that doubles the defenses of any Pokémon that can still evolve which turns P2 in a greatly supportive tank making both evolved versions of Porygon useful in their own ways (something not that not many lines can claim). Lastly, there’s Legends: Arceus which both allowed Porygon to show up in the distant past through Space-Time Rifts but also let the player evolve their freak of science without needing to trade. And that’s the long and short of it. Despite starting as a joke, every version of Porygon has become wonderful in their own #wonderful and it's a shame you can't catch them in Scarlet or Violet. P.S. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the great injustice to this Pokémon known as Cyber Soldier Pokémon. Essentially, in Porygon’s staring episode in the Gen 1 episode, there was an explosion caused by Team Rocket’s missiles and Pikachu’s electricity that gave over 600 Japanese Children seizures. Porygon was unfairly blamed and since that episode, it hasn’t appeared in a single episode in the Anime since. That is cruel, that is unfair, that is…wait a minute. Porygon Z is red and blue like the strobe effect in the episode and it periodically writhes and jitters around like someone who…Oh. Oh no.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! A long time ago, when you couldn’t just you couldn’t just run to the store and pick up some halibut on ice, fishing was a trial. A trial to survive where one’s patience and/or knowledge of the water and its creatures was key to reaping its bounty and living another day without hunger. Now, it’s just something you do while hanging out with friends and/or family near a body of water. While it isn’t for everyone, that doesn’t make it any less of a wonderful time for those with the fortitude, will and/or body alcohol content to chase their fish filled dreams of glory and/or seafood. P.S. Please fish (& drink) responsibly.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! You like trains? I mean who doesn’t like trains? People who don’t like trains, that’s who. Based on statistics I just made up, they make up a much smaller group than people who like trains. You don't want to be a part of that group right? You think that giant machines, old-timey steam engines, railroad tracks and moving mass quantities of goods and people are cool right? This peer pressure is working right? Great! That’s fantastic! Welcome to the “Trains are wonderful” club which you were undoubtedly already a part of!

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! Olives are pretty great but I would argue that the best way to consume them is as part of the New Orleans borne sandwich called muffuletta. A concoction created by combining ham, cheese, Italian cured meats and olive salad on a hearty sesame bread also called muffuletta. All equating to a big ole mouthful of salty, savory, wonderful flavor that’s enjoyable any day of the year...which is good because next Mardi Gras is a long ways away.

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! The Coconut Gun from Donkey Kong 64. A truly iconic firearm from the N64 days. This is probably due to being featured in one of the objectively greatest pieces of music ever written for a video game or otherwise but there’s more to this hollow log with a trigger than just firing in spurts. I mean, it’s great at kong-king Kremlings and coconut-themed buttons from a distance. However, with several upgrades from the funkiest of Kongs, it becomes a semi-automatic machine of death capable of holding 200 drupes at once with a sniper scope and shooting red homing coconuts. Is there any way this weapon could get any cooler? Yes and I’ll tell you how. In the beta versions of DK64, the Coconut Gun was skinned as a full-on double barrel shotgun. Not only is it funny to see Donkey Kong using an actual firearm, not only is the double barrel shotgun as a concept one of the coolest guns when used in fiction, not only is there evidence to show that despite the more realistic design, it still fired coconuts but that in this state and it came with realistic gunfire sound effects. Terrible? Probably. Hilarious? Absolutely. The Coconut Gun/Shooter is wonderful regardless of what form it takes? I mean, is Donkey Kong the first member of the DK crew?

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! Ok, what’s next? Hippos? Perfect! Hippopotamuses it is! African mammals named “River Horse” in Greek. Don’t see much horse but I definitely see the river. They spend all day in there. They can even hold their breaths for five minutes straight and even close their ears and nostrils to keep the water out. They big, they chonky, they’re kinda cute and…also absolutely terrifying and one of the most dangerous animals on the planet with their aggressive tempers and massive jaws. What a wonderful combination! Respect the hippos! P.S. Also, here’s a picture of a hippo’s butt. You’re welcome!

[redeyeflyguy]

Wonderful Things That May or May Not Be Wonderful!!! There is no video game of the puzzle genre more iconic than Tetris. One of the biggest selling video game franchises of all time, an inspiration to puzzle games everywhere, home to one of the most iconic tunes in video game history which is actually a 19th century Russian folk song, a fun time waster, a brain stimulator,  and available on every system in some capacity under the sun. Is there anything more to say about Tetris? Yes, but I don’t think I need to. Tetris is Tetris and Tetris is wonderful. Now, who wants to play some Tetris?P.S. According to those who answered, T-Blocks are the best tetromino!