rantsrambles

[rantsrambles]

ah yes collective responsibility and common sense. something most people (apparently) do not understand.

[rantsrambles]

there is no better use for this sound period.

What did he expect to happen

[rantsrambles]

???

you know quarantine is  r e a l l y  hitting when you start thinking: “wait, shit, am i bi???” and your friend essentially confirms your suspicions by sending an alignment chart in the group chat that says “bold of you to assume im straight” with your name underneath

being (maybe???) bi is annoying when you are:

1. (unfortunately) mostly are attracted to men, but some women just  H I T  D I F F E R E N T  

2. constantly doubt if you are actually queer or just going through a weird college experimental phase

[rantsrambles]

summer romance + gemini boy = not a lasting relationship my dudes

my dumb and emotional cancer ass 

[rantsrambles]

[rantsrambles]

A Love Letter

(little creepy story i wrote)

I like living underneath your bed.

I like stealing the socks you lose during the night.

I like tickling your toes when they peek out from under the covers.

I miss you.

Sometimes, I open your closet after you turn out the lights

Sometimes, I move things in your room to make fun shapes with the darkness

Sometimes, I caress your face when you awake from a nightmare.

But you don’t see me.

Fear still clamps your eyes shut.

Fear still paralyzes your body

I’ve watched you since you were a child.

And now you’re leaving me.

I suppose you’re not a child anymore.

The familiar clothes in your closet are folded neatly into piles on the floor

The things in your room, the ones I used to rearrange, are now packed into boxes labeled:

“C O L L E G E”

How could you do this to me?

Grow up?

Don’t fret, no matter.

I will follow.

Because I like living under your bed.

Wherever that bed may be. 

[rantsrambles]

i am fully an adult but you bet your ass i am going to buy disney + for the sole purpose of watching percy jackson and reliving my ten-year-old dreams

[rantsrambles]

people who aren’t SHULUNGHH

(also inspired by peepeepoopoo time when quite tipsy)

let’s start with the obvious ones

trump dump

pence (he’s got a  g a p p i n g  asshole tho)

every tiktok boy who uses the cite sharing cultures sound to hymp the air and make everyone uncomfyyyy

bill from IT (also stephen king because bill is obviously a self insert. also why does stephen king insert boners into every story if he doesn’t have something to compensate for??? still stan tho)

body shammers

all male cancers 

anyone who is racist, ableist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, ect.

transgender women because they got a plush, powerful, pussy 

[rantsrambles]

“people” who are SHLUNGHHG

(inspired by peepeepoopoo time while quite tipsy)

goofy

bugs bunny

older timmy turner from that remote episode

woody from toy story got that WOOD

spirit that fucking insultingly hot horse everyone has been talking about

RBG

ben from IT

eddie from IT is surprisingly SHLUNGH that all the losers are confused, especially Richie because gay

percy jackson (but he’s humble about it)

cedric diggory (!!!)

jake the dog from that terrifying show adventure time (his bod can stretch)

the michelin man

hobbes from calvin and hobbes (THAT’S TEA THO IM A DRUNK GENIUS)

nickelback 

[rantsrambles]

I am King Meme on my Facebook Angry Birds chat group!

My father in the year of our Lord 2018 (a simpler time) 

[rantsrambles]

By PBF Comics

[rantsrambles]

[rantsrambles]

[rantsrambles]

The Zodiac Signs as Joe Exotic Quotes

Aries: I’m Joe Exotic, otherwise known as the Tiger King, the gay, gun-carrying redneck with a mullet.

Taurus: I’m never going to financially recover from this.

Gemini: I don’t think we’re done blowing shit up today.

Cancer: I’d shoot you before I’d shoot my cat.

Leo: People don’t come to see the tigers, they come to see me.

Virgo: This is my own little town. I’m the mayor, the prosecutor, the cop, and the executioner.

Libra: I’d like to introduce my wife, but my husband’s at home feeding my brand-new baby kangaroo.

Scorpio: She’ll never get a million dollars out of me. I don’t own anything.

Sagittarius: I’m outspoken, good looking, love to party and have fun.

Capricorn: It’s just two complete opposite, different worlds. You know, he’s a little more upscale, and I’m working with people who just got out of prison.

Aquarius: I am not changing the way I dress. I refuse to wear a suit. I am gay. I am broke as shit. I have a judgement against me from some bitch down there in Florida.

Pisces: I had my days of coke. I had my days of drinking. I had my days of…meth.

[rantsrambles]

my only goal in quarantine is to summon a long furby to comfort me during these trying times 

L O N G  F U R B Y  W I L L  E A T  C O R O N A

Long furby Species guide

I keep seeing a bunch of different types of long furbies, and I started categorizing them in my head-

So since I’m bored, I thought I’d make a post for it.

EDIT: I made a part 2, which can be found here

Each species has subspecies including

Spine or spineless

Material type

Etc.

But Without further ado...

Classic Long

common

Body is like a tube, with feet at the bottom

Greatest length variety

Examples: Original long furby from @furbyfuzz and Thursday Boy Porridge from @strange-aeons

Caterpillar

Very rare

Typically around 3ft

Multiple pairs of feet going down the belly section

Example is from boots-with-the-furb on Instagram

Centipede

Very rare

Have pairs of legs going down the sides of the body

Often no feet

Body tapers at end

Examples: from @lumeneas and me bc I can’t find very many different examples o o f

Humanoid/long legged

Uncommon

Have human like hands or other other body parts

May have pair of long legs as well

Examples: Buttered Noodle from @buttered-noodles and Handsome Ryan from @well-i-guess-i-own-a-furby-now

Mobius/double headed

Extremely rare

Have 2 heads, one on either side of a tube-like body

Example: from @furbyrights

Wide

Legendary, possibly a myth

Long furby, but wide instead of long

Artist’s depiction by @par-vollen

And there we go! Please tell me if I missed anything, or if you find credit for me to add. I know there’s more, however these are the species I could come out with-

I hope this helps you all make the right choice if considering summoning a long furby

[rantsrambles]

a scale is a girl’s “best friend”

This is the extension I wrote to the monologue called “Diamond” in the play, Box, that I was doing in drama class at my local theater. This monologue already had a special place in my heart because I could, unfortunately, relate to the pressures of making my “pretty years count”, but I wrote the extension because I felt that Diamond needed to say more. It was almost like her character was reaching out to me and saying: “You understand me, use my voice to express what I, and so many other women, can’t bear to write down.” So, I did. Here is the result:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Holding a tiny box) This is my box. This is what I want to be. It’s perfect. My mom says it’s never too soon to start dieting. If you don’t get control early on, the race is over. Life is a race and for girls, it’s a short one. Girls only have so many pretty years and too many waste those years away. She started when she was my age and she’s totally won the race. It’s not easy. It’s a lot to live up to. I don’t…I don’t have her bones. But I can do it, I can lose weight. I’ll make her proud. I can make my pretty years count. (she looks at the box) I can make my pretty years count.

(This is where the monologue originally ended)

But what’s the price? How many days do I have to sacrifice to calorie counting? How many hours of exercise do I need to put aside to burn off, or more accurately, to justify what I ate that day. What’s the price of a “perfect” body? A skinny body…Is that even what I want? My mom says that’s what I want. That’s what everyone wants, right? Everyone, but women especially, we look at one another and desperately rake our eyes over the person’s body searching for the flaws they have and we don’t. Flaws that can justify or outweigh the ones we possess. I know I do it. I’m not proud of it, but I do.

Walking to lunch I stare at the girls eating who are heavier than me and think: “If they can eat, why can’t I?” I stare at the girls who are naturally thin and think: “It’s not fair! She can eat whatever she wants and never gains a pound! She must be stupid or something, the universe has to balance out the unfairness of her Sonic-like metabolism.”  Whenever, I think these cruel, envious thoughts, I immediately try to push them out of my mind. But they still linger…god, am I a bad person for thinking like this? Maybe all women think these judgmental thoughts, that would be slightly comforting…no, it wouldn’t. The normality of scrutiny over every aspect of a women’s body started with society’s unfair standards, sure, but that cheesy excuse doesn’t encompass the whole situation. It continues because of us, because of the scrutiny women put each other through. Who decided skinny is equivalent to beautiful and fat is equivalent to ugly? Why do these mere adjectives have so much power and incite so much fear? Society, yes has a major role, but women were the ones who believed it and who enforced it.

That’s what my mom does to me, however that doesn’t mean I am doomed follow in her footsteps. (quietly, realizing the severity of her next statement) I don’t want to make my pretty years count. I WANT TO MAKE MY HAPPY YEARS COUNT. THOSE ARE THE ONES THAT REALLY MATTER…. those are the ones I’ve lost to dieting. I hate being a woman sometimes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DISCLAIMER: I do not actually hate being a woman. I freaking love being a woman--despite having to deal with sexist assholes and wage gaps. That was more what I felt the character would say, not me.

National Eating Disorder’s (NEDA) Website: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ This website offers treatment and support for any of you out there who are suffering from an eating disorder. Don’t look past posts encouraging you to seek help. If you are suffering from an eating disorder, this post is directed to you no matter who you are. NEDA also provides opportunities to donate and volunteer for their organization! Please, watch the videos on their home page about how to identify signs of an eating disorder and help a loved one suffering from an eating disorder. Unfortunately, eating disorders are infecting a lot of people these days, and even more unfortunately, they can be very easy to hide.

[rantsrambles]

RANT:

DREAMers, nonDREAMers, I just see Americans. Some of whom who are going to have their lives stripped away from them because of our lovellllyyyyy (the sarcasim should be deafening) American president.

I wish I could write a original RANT, but honestly, I do not feel that I am educated enough on the subject to do so. Therefore, I decided to reblog this post. It is reliable and presents options of how to stop Trump from vetoing this program. Even if I cannot write a personal RANT, it would feel unshakably wrong to not address this recent ridiculous tragedy from the White House.

Please help in any way you can. We all deserve to live our American DREAMS.

DREAMers, don’t stop dreaming

You’ve probably heard by now that President Trump and his Attorney General Jeff Sessions have decided to rescind the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program. Originally created by President Obama, the program provided hope and protection to nearly a million children of undocumented immigrants, many of whom have growing up knowing no other nation besides the United States of America.

In their hearts, in their lives, DREAMers are Americans. And they are human beings. The cruelty of deporting them to an unfamiliar land is matched only by the recklessness of doing so. Immigration is vital to our identity, our economy, and our culture. To extinguish the dreams of DREAMers is not only unkind, but fundamentally un-American.

So, Tumblr, here are some ways you can help each other out:

Call Congress and tell them to pass the DREAM Act. There’s a six-month delay before Trump’s order kicks in, and that’s six months for Congress to get their act together on this. Light a fire under them, will you?

Join an event near you, and connect with others IRL who are fighting for what’s right.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself, especially if you’re one of the people directly affected by this. You can’t just fight—you also have to heal.

Tell your story. Tag it #DREAMer. Let people know what you’ve experienced, and let other DREAMers know they’re not alone.

And if you could use some perspective on what it’s like for a DREAMer right now, please read this Answer Time session with an undocumented immigrant who took your questions on her situation, her hopes, and her fears. It’ll open your eyes, it’ll open your heart. It’s what the world needs right now.

Stay strong, Tumblr.