randomwritingsfortheworld - Tumblr blog

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

A Past Life

I guess the only trigger would be the mention of The Chair, cuz we all have a collective sympathy trauma from those scenes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky didn't realize he was able to dream while in stasis until recently, but it was the same one each time he went under. Each sleep revealed more of the dream and this time it had been the most vivid. It started the same way each time. He was in a small apartment. It was a plain place with a few pictures on the walls and simple furniture throughout the house. It seemed like he had just walked through the door because he was placing a military hat on a small table by the wall before he takes off his boots. Bucky recognized he is in a military uniform but is never able to place where it's from. His gaze lingered on both his hands matching. This was the first sign he noticed that told him this was a dream. After he takes off his boots, Bucky walks further into the apartment to a small living room and kitchen. His gaze turned towards the kitchen and saw a familiar but unfamiliar form moving around the small area humming a song he couldn't quite place. This moment always felt comfortable in his dream and he could already feel the smile forming on his lips before the person turned around completely. Bucky made his way over to you as his smile grew. "Hey Sweetheart." It was the same thing he said in every dream.

 

"Hey handsome." You would respond the same way back but it never stopped making him happy to hear. 

 

"What's for dinner?" Bucky made his way towards the stove to see if he could make out the food. 

 

"Nothing fancy. Just some pasta with meatballs." 

 

His gaze returned to you with a worried frown. Even though it was a dream, he could tell this wasn't normal. "What's the occasion?" 

 

You giggled and the worry seemed to ebb from his features. "For getting accepted into the army, Buck." 

 

Dread filled him once those same words left your mouth in each dream. You kept the warm smile as Bucky felt his dream body reach forward to gently pull you into a hug. "I thought we were saving it for a special occasion." The sinking feeling grew into guilt.

 

"But it is."

 

Bucky avoided answering you by kissing the top of your head, but before the dream got further, he was suddenly pulled from his sleep. 

 

The freezing cold was immediate as they pulled him from the cryo chamber. He half stumbled as he was roughly dragged by the people holding his arms. It didn't take long for him to be sitting in a chair as his mind cleared of sleep. His gaze flicked to the man holding the red book. Bucky clenched his jaw, hoping the man didn't notice the brief look of fear that he let slip through. 

 

Thankfully the Russian didn't. " How was your sleep? " 

 

It took a moment for his brain to catch up and switch to Russian as his body tried to wake up. Bucky didn't want to answer but did anyway. " I had a dream. " His voice was still laced with sleep and the Russian syllables felt heavy on his tongue. A slight shiver ran down his spine as the last bit of the cold left his body. He supposed it was a nice perk that the serum regulated his body temperature so quickly.

 

" You dream while in stasis? " Bucky nodded carefully as the man read through the book.

" What did you dream about? " The man glanced up. He actually seemed curious about it. 

 

Bucky met his gaze trying to figure out how much he wanted to reveal. This handler seemed less strict than the previous ones so maybe he can tell him a little more than normal. " I was in a home with another person. " The Russian silently listened which prompted Bucky to add more. " We seemed to know each other but I don't know who they were. " 

 

The Russian hummed before going back to the book. " Maybe a previous agent you worked with. " 

 

Bucky was silent for a moment. " They didn't act like an agent. " 

 

The man turned the page without looking at Bucky. " What did they act like? " 

 

Bucky tried to remember how you acted and how he acted towards you. " Like a lover? " He wasn't too certain himself but the kiss seemed to imply you two were lovers. Bucky had turned to focus on his boots as he thought over the dream so he didn't notice the Russian pause his reading. 

 

" What did they look like? " His voice seemed to hold an air of caution that Bucky picked up.

Not wanting to get punished for lying, Bucky described you to him and his heart sank when the Russian seemed to stiffen. Bucky studied him carefully in silence, waiting for the man to speak. He cleared his throat and tried to go back to reading like nothing happened. " They sound attractive. " 

 

Bucky was certain this handler knew something he didn't and his dream might be something more. He took a chance, hoping the consequences wouldn't be too severe. " What do you know about them? " It came out more aggressive than he intended but the tone got the man's attention again. The two stared at each other for a long moment as the tension grew. Bucky caved and broke it first with a frown as he figured it out. It wasn't a dream but a memory before he got the metal arm. A time he should remember but only got the occasional fragment of before they put electricity through his brain. " I knew that person. Who are they? " This time his voice was lower, like he couldn't trust himself. 

 

" It was no one important. " 

 

The quick dismissal made Bucky angry and he wasn't completely sure why. " Who were they? " It came out almost a growl as his features hardened. The Russian was taken back at how Bucky looked at him but didn't answer him. Bucky's anger grew and he grabbed the man's throat with his metal arm. The sound of guns cocking echoed in the barren room as Bucky pulled him until they were almost touching noses. " Who. Were. They. " 

 

Sheer panic and terror crossed the Russian's face as he stammered out an answer. " They were your wife before you left the US. " Bucky slightly squeezed causing the man to continue. " I only know their name was Y/N from your file. I don't know more. " 

 

Bucky studied the man's face as he scowled. The Russian seemed to be telling the truth. It sank in as a fragment of a partial memory surfaced of you crying and asking him to come back safely. As his mind reeled from the newfound information, hands grabbed him and shoved him backwards deeper into the chair. Bucky vaguely registered something hard being shoved into his mouth as straps bound his arms to the chair while he was distracted. His mind slowly started to pull more memories of the two of you together. The last thing he remembered before the pain of the familiar shock was him asking you to marry him. Bucky wasn't sure if the first scream was from the pain of the electricity or the anguish of the life he realized he had lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This fic was inspired by this reel:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpZYDbkJzpu/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

Old Art

When Steve was thawed from the ice and had some time to adjust to working for SHIELD, he spent time looking through the internet, hoping to catch up on current events and major events since he went under. What he wasn’t prepared for was how much of the internet there was. Sam gave him recommendations to look into online but Google was overwhelming in how much info it gave him. The most confusing for him was message forums that he ended up finding during his research because a poster would ask a question that he found interesting. That is how Steve ended up learning that he had no clue what half the internet slang was.

He learned that the meaning and usage of certain slang terms change quickly and frequently. Most people don’t use the term Vine anymore, now it’s Tiktok. Steve did like seeing emojis. They looked funny to him. Urban dictionary was a helpful resource for him but Steve quickly learned that the internet didn’t think that site was useful. Regardless he was glad it helped him figure out the meaning of slang and how to decipher texts that were mostly emojis. 

Steve found Wikipedia the most useful and the most distracting. Many nights he’d look up an article about a major event that Sam told him to look into and a few hours later, he’d be reading about something completely different. He’d end up telling Bucky in the middle of the night about what he found out, even though half the time Bucky wasn’t interested. Bucky had a suspicion Steve did it to help distract him when he woke up from his nightmares, but he wasn't going to burst his best friend's bubble by telling him it doesn't work. 

Once the battle of Thanos was resolved, Steve got back into art. With the help of Nat, Steve made an art page. She had to show him how to scan his work to post it digitally but once he started, the support exploded. Steve was taken aback at how many people looked at his artwork and complimented it. It did give him encouragement to do more. In the span of a few weeks, Steve had posted redraws of his old artwork that he made in the 30’s while attending college. The public ate it up which made Steve a bit proud of himself. 

“I had no idea you drew.” Sam hummed as he watched Steve upload the last piece he could remember drawing before going in the ice.

Steve shrugged. “Never asked.”

“I don’t go up to people and ask if they can draw.”

“You should.”

“It might work for you Captain but not me.” Sam lightly punched his arm as he laughed. “Where did you learn to draw?”

“Auburndale Art School.”

“I have no idea where that is.”

Bucky placed a drink in front of Steve before handing Sam his. “It’s in Brooklyn.”

“Did you go too?” Sam eyed Bucky curiously.

Bucky took a drink of his coffee. “We had the same classes.”

“Do you draw too?”

“I went for the ladies.” Bucky glanced at the computer screen. “Do you think Montgomery still has our projects?”

Steve chuckled. “I think she’s dead by now, Buck.”

“I feel like she’d try to outlive us all out of spite.”

Sam watched the exchange as he took a slow drink. “Was she a bad teacher?”

“She was the worst. Always saying my work was shit.”

“Well you never really tried to actually learn how to draw.”

Bucky gave Steve a glare. “I was a decent artist. It wasn’t perfect like she wanted it to be.” 

“She knew you were there just for the nude models.” 

“I turned in my work.” Bucky grumbled as Steve and Sam laughed.

“Why don’t you share your art?” Sam suggested.

Bucky frowned. “I don’t think any of it exists anymore.”

“You can redraw it like I am.” 

Bucky seemed to think it over. “But who would want to see it?”

"You do realize you have a fan base online right?" Sam took a drink as he gave Bucky a skeptical look.

Bucky studied Sam, not quite believing him. "I do?"

"Chicks like the troubled brooding guy now."

"I don't brood."

Steve and Sam gave him a doubtful look. "You do." Bucky scowled at Sam but before he could argue more, he cut him off. "Just give it a try and see where it goes. It doesn't hurt."

Bucky glanced between the two. "Fine."

A few days later, Bucky shared a random drawing on Steve's page and was bombarded with support. It reignited a spark in Bucky and it didn't take long for the team to find the two drawing together occasionally during downtime between missions.

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

A Lost Piece

BuckyxReader, mention of HYDRA conditioning but no descriptions

"Maybe Shuri can help again." Sam sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than you. "I should have paid more attention during-"

"Sam," you gently cut him off with a tight hug before he went further down that hole. "You couldn't have known they were still around. HYDRA has been persistent since Steve was born. They are just getting better at hiding themselves since Nat exposed them."

Sam closed his eyes as he hugged you back. "But he still got captured under my watch."

You bit your bottom lip. "You're only human Sam. They made the odds against you guys from the start. That's what HYDRA does. They always try to have the upper hand."

Sam rested his chin on top of your head as the words settled. "Plus that bunker is destroyed now so no one else can use it." You pulled back to meet his solemn expression. "It's a good thing you already knew about it or no one would have found the damn thing."

That got a half smile from him. "I only knew because Bucky told us when he was framed for the bombing." A flicker of sadness crossed his features. Sam cared about Steve just as much as Bucky and that incident was the starting point of their friendship. It was hard for the both of them when Steve passed. Even now, you really only got the details about their time together from Sam. It was still a fresh wound for Bucky so he never really spoke to you about it. Your heart ached at the thought of what had happened.

Sam had asked Bucky to help with a recon mission. It was supposed to be something simple and easy to show the government he was still helping. It took a bit of convincing from you to get him to accept and in the end the two left. The mission went sideways, as Sam put it. HYDRA was at the place and they ended up taking Bucky as captive during the fight. Sam made it out with mostly bruises. The news devastated you and you were terrified they would try to make Bucky The Winter Soldier again.

You got bits and pieces of what they did to Bucky in the past over the course of your relationship but you never pressed him for details. You let him open up to you at his own pace, if he ever did, knowing it wasn't an easy topic. Bucky was missing for a week before Sam found a lead that hinted at the random bunker in Siberia. The rescue mission was a success and Sam flew Bucky to Wakanda in hopes Shuri would be able to help him again.

This is where you guys were. You don't know how Sam managed to convince them to let you come into the country but here you were with Sam outside Shuri's medical wing.

You pulled back from the hug with your own frown. "It still helped find him quickly." You gave Sam's arm a light squeeze. "And if Shuri is as amazing as you say she is, Bucky will be awake in no time and we can go home soon."

You offered a small smile which thankfully he returned. "Yeah. She'll wake him up."

Just as the words left his mouth, the door opened and a young woman walked out. "He's awake." You both followed her through what looked like a lab before descending down a set of stairs to a quieter area.

"Sam." A slighter taller woman greeted him with a small smile at the end of the stairway before turning to you. "Sergeant Barnes' girlfriend?" You nodded carefully before she gave you a wider grin. "Pleasure to meet you. I'm Shuri." She grabbed your hand in a vigorous handshake.

"Uh, likewise?" You weren't exactly sure how to react but she saved you the trouble by turning back to Sam with a serious expression.

"He's awake but..." She glanced at you then back at Sam.

"She can hear." Sam answered her unspoken question.

There was a heartbeat of silence before she glanced behind her into the bigger room. "Come." She turned and led us further inside. "They tried to use the same techniques on him again. They didn't put any trigger words back into him but the electric shocks severed some of the connections I managed to fix the last time he was here. The process should be quicker to fix now that I have a blueprint of his brain but its still going to take time to make sure its back." Her steps slowed as we reached a curtain. Her voice lowered as she pulled back the curtain. "Sergeant Barnes?" Bucky slightly sat up as she stepped inside. You could tell he was still groggy from just waking up and you couldn't help but smile. "Some of your friends came to check on you. You've been out for almost 12 hours. How does your head feel?"

Bucky glanced at the two of you before he focused back on Shuri. Bucky looked relatively unharmed, save for the few bruises on his cheeks and on one side of his forehead. "I have a headache."

"How bad is the pain?"

"It's a 4?"

Shuri nodded and mumbled something into her bracelet but you didn't pay too much attention to it. "Hey Buck. Glad your back." You gave him a warm smile and took a step forward but stopped when he gave you a confused frown. "What's wrong?" You couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in you stomach as his expression turned apologetic at your concern.

"I... I don't know who you guys are." The air seemed to suddenly leave the room and you couldn't breathe anymore.

Sam carefully stepped forward as you stood frozen. "What do you remember?"

Bucky glanced at Shuri, who nodded. His gaze turned back on Sam. "I was being prepped for a mission," Bucky voice was almost too low to hear. "HYDRA was trying to send me on a mission for them but got upset that the trigger words didn't work. They put me back into the chair for conditioning again." You wanted to reach out to him and hold him as he continued with a soft crack in his voice. "I don't remember anything but pain and the trigger words." Sam glanced at Shuri, who had her lips pursed in a tight line.

"What else do you remember?" Sam pressed a bit more but Bucky seemed to close himself off.

"Sergeant Barnes... any information can help us get your memories back."

The super soldier seemed to think it over before opening his mouth to continue. "I don't remember anything after that besides feeling like I was in a dream."

"What do you remember before the conditioning?" Sam reluctantly used the same term Bucky had.

"I don't remember anything." Guilt washed over Bucky's features. "Shuri said you were friends?" A flicker of hope crossed his face but it made my chest squeeze in heartbreak, knowing you won't be able to help.

"We are but she's also your girlfriend." Sam's voice broke you out of your thoughts. Bucky met your gaze as guilt settled on his features again.

He went to speak but you spoke first. "I need a moment. I'm sorry." The crack in your voice caused a flash of hurt to cross his face followed by a flicker of confusion and it only crushed your heart even more. It looked like Bucky remembers the emotions but nothing else. Shuri gave you a sympathetic frown as you spun on your heel and walked away.

"I didn't mean to hurt-" was the last thing you heard Bucky say before you were out of earshot.

You didn't make it to the top of the stairs before you broke down. You slid down the wall and buried your face in your knees as you softly cried. You knew it wasn't his fault but it still hurt. You shouldn't have convinced him to go on the mission. He wouldn't have been captured and tortured again. Then he would have his memories still. Would Shuri be able to bring them back? You don't know her well enough to know for sure but she said she's fixed him before so she should be able to right? But what if she can't?

You don't know if you'll be able to start over with Bucky. He'd feel guilty about forgetting you and stay with you out of obligation not for the love you guys had before this. You wouldn't be able to handle it. What if he didn't fall back in love with you? That made your chest squeeze tighter in fear and anguish. You bit your cheek to contain the sob that threatened to spill.

A hand gently rested on your shoulder and you jumped before looking up to see Shuri hand me a tissue. "I know sorry won't make you feel better." She rubbed your shoulder as you wiped your face. "But I will bring back his memories. The damage they did was far less than what he had the first time he came here." Shuri gave you a smile that you didn't feel like returning. Her smile faded as she continued. "If you want, you can stay here while I work on getting his memory back."

You let the offer hang in the air for a moment as you thought about it. Shuri patiently waited as you sorted through it all. "What if you can't fix him?" Your voice was hoarse from crying but she didn't seem to mind how much of a mess you were.

"I will fix him." Her confidence in her own ability eased some of your fear. "You can help too."

That helped you decide. "I want to stay and help."

Shuri gave you a wide grin and offered her hand. You took it as she helped you off the floor and handed you another tissue. "Come."

The two of you made your way back to the room. Bucky had his legs over the edge of the bed as he spoke with Sam. The two fell silent as you guys approached. Sam eyed you in concern when he noticed your puffy face but Bucky's voice drew your attention. "Sam told me what he could about the time before the mission."

Shuri let go of your hand as she went to work, leaving you on your own. "That's good." You managed to say quietly. Bucky's expression fell when you bit your cheek to avoid crying again.

"I..." Bucky glanced towards Sam before refocusing on me. "I don't know if it'll help bring back the memories... but can you tell me about what you remember before I went on the mission?" His voice was soft, like he was worried about scaring you and it made your heart ache but you answered anyways.

"Yeah. I can try."

Sam gave you a warm smile before patting your shoulder. "I'll let you guys talk then. Once you are done, we can go."

"She's staying here to help me, Sam." Shuri looked up from her computer screen,giving him a non-negotiable look.

Sam was taken aback at how intense Shuri was but he recovered quickly. "Got it. Let me know when he gets better." Sam gave you a tight hug as he whispered in your ear. "It'll be ok. If you need an ear, I'm a call away."

"Thanks Sam." You hugged him just as tightly before he let go and left. You looked back at Bucky, who had been fiddling with his fingers. You made your way closer and sat on the bed next to him. "What do you want to know?" Your voice was more even now.

Bucky met your gaze with a nervous lick of his lip. "About us."

"Of course." You couldn't help but smile. Bucky returned a small smile himself before you began telling him about what it was like between you too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This short is inspired by this reel:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CofJXpxtuKO/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

Online Dating

brief description of a nude, and the normal terms for private parts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he came back, Bucky found himself fitting in well with Steve's new group of friends Natasha and Sam, despite the rough first encounter. All of them were smart and snarky. It made him feel normal until Steve asked if he had found a date since coming back.

"Uh, not really." He shoved his hands into his pocket as he followed the group outside. Even though it had been a while since everyone came back from the blip, Bucky hadn't thought about dating. 

Nat laughed as she kept pace with them. "With how much Steve said you were a flirt in the past, I'm surprised."

"A lot's changed since then." Bucky mumbled, avoiding her stare. 

Her grin grew as Steve gave her a stern stare knowing what was coming next. "I can help set you up with someone."

"I don't know if they would like me." He thought about his current life. Dr. Raynor told him to go and be social with the civilians so he could adapt better but he just didn't want to since he was fine with the group of friends he currently has. Having to get to know another person who didn't understand the life of a superhero seemed like a tedious task. He might change his mind if someone he was really interested in came along, but no one has. Having Nat introduce him to someone, might work but he wasn't completely sure he wants to try again yet.

Sam chuckled as Steve nudged Sam's arm with a scowl. "What? I'm not surprised. His staring scares people away."

"Have you tried online dating?" Nat decided to distract Bucky before the two got into an argument. "It's made for things like this."

Bucky glanced at Steve, who wore a deep frown. Nat had tried to get him to do online dating but he didn't like meeting complete strangers without getting to know them in person. Bucky shook his head as he looked back at Nat. "No, I haven't."

"Want to try it?"

Bucky wasn't sure if he did or not. Considering how little of a social life he had outside the Avengers, Bucky was certain he wasn't going to find someone the normal way. It was worth a try and he could always delete it if it didn't work. "I guess."

Over the next few days, Nat helped Bucky pick a site to try. They decided with his past a site for people who were blipped would be a good starting place. "Ok how old are you? And we can't put 107 years old. Do you have an idea how old you are if you don't include being on ice?"

"I…" Bucky never actually thought about it. He was silent for a moment while he tried to calculate that time but with the foggy memories without dates, it was hard. "I dunno? Maybe 33?" He had just turned 27 when he fell but after that everything was a blur. 

"33 sounds good. What do you want to put in your bio?" Nat sat down next to him. 

He glanced at the laptop screen, not sure how to answer. "I don't know…" He never really had to describe himself to strangers. "Never had to do that."

"How about we start with the basics?" Nat offered as her fingers hovered over the keys. She spoke as she typed a simple bio. "War veteran, blip survivor, prefers traditional dates where you go out to dinner or a movie and get to know each other, a romantic at heart." Nat glanced over at him to see if he objected so far. Bucky seemed to think it over as he read it. "I know people are adding pronouns in them. Did you want to add those?"

Bucky's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"It's a newer thing where people tell others what pronouns to use to address them." Nat chewed her bottom lip as she tried to explain it so he'd understand easier. "Some people look like a guy but prefer to be referred to as a girl because they feel like they are a girl and vice versa, with a girl feeling like a guy. There are people who don't want to be called a guy or girl." Bucky's expression told her he was still confused. "Did you have people like that back in the 40's?"

Bucky went from confusion to contemplative. "In college, there was a guy who dressed in women's clothes saying they were more comfortable. Is it like that?"

"Did he want to be called a girl?"

"He introduced himself as Alex but we weren't more than classmates so I don't know."

Nat felt like he was getting the point. "Sounds similar enough. It's the same idea. They feel more comfortable being called by their pronouns."

"So calling a guy who wants to be a girl, her, makes them feel comfortable?" Nat nodded as Bucky fell silent. The world got more confusing. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with the pronoun thing…"

"Most appreciate you trying even if you mess up a few times." Nat reassured him. "There are some who will make a big deal about it, but I don't think you'd end up dating them anyways." Bucky gave her a half chuckle as she continued. "So did you want to add pronouns?"

Bucky thought it over. "Sure?" Nat raised her eyebrow in a silent question. "Guy pronouns."

"He, him pronouns." She mumbled as she added it to the bio. "Anything else you want to add?"

He was silent as he looked it over. There wasn't much else to add. It felt pretty simple and straight to the point. "Not really…"

"Alright." Nat uploaded it to his profile and switched to his settings. The two of them went over all the settings and adjustments before Nat had him download the app so he could use his phone instead of the laptop. It took most of the evening for Nat to show him how to match and reject people and where the messages would show if they matched with him before she let him use it himself. 

Bucky completely forgot about the dating app for a couple of days after it was set up due to a short mission. Sam asking how the online dating was going reminded him about it. Later that evening while he was watching a show that showed how everyday objects were made he decided to at least try the dating app. Maybe he'd find a possible friend at least. 

Bucky silently flipped through the profiles that appeared for him. It felt odd for him to judge them without ever talking to them. He was starting to think he wasn't cut out for the online dating innovation as the pictures got more bizarre. Why were there so many group profile photos? Were guns really necessary? Why a possum? The bios some people put didn't make it easier for him to understand. He had to actually look up what a few acronyms meant. Apparently people liked to shorten cuss words to a few letters too. 

Bucky almost missed the profile since he was half paying attention as he swiped through. It was a simple one. The woman smiled at the camera against a beach background. Maybe she was a reasonable person? He read her bio to see if they would get along.

She/her, blip survivor, enjoys spending time on the beach, looking for a long term relationship with a dependable man, being comfortable with BDSM is a requirement 

Bucky narrowed his eyes at the acronym. The way it was worded concerned him and he was a bit afraid to find out what it meant. Why was it required? Why would someone need to be comfortable with it? He chewed his bottom lip in deep thought. It was better if he knew what it meant before someone asked him out of the blue about it. That's what he used to convince himself it was ok to look up the threatening acronym. 

Bucky stared at the definition Google gave him. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadochism and Masochism. That made it even more ominous. They were opposites. Hoping to clarify, he clicked on the first article which happened to be from WebMD, whatever that meant. The title did include the word sex so he prepared himself for something terrible.

BDSM is a term used to describe aspects of sex that involve dominance, submission, and control. The practice typically involves one partner taking on a more dominant role during sex, while the other is more submissive.

Ok wasn't that normal sex? The more he read the more uncomfortable he got. Why would someone willingly put themselves in situations like that? His mind couldn't help but equate BDSM to his time being under HYDRA, even though it was outlined being consensual between both partners. There wouldn't be pleasure for him, just fear. He closed the article once it started talking about the different kinds of play. 

Bucky went back to the app to decline her. After a few more minutes, he found another relatively reasonable profile without a BDSM requirement and decided to see if they were interested in talking at least. She sent a message immediately after he swiped which surprised him.

Hey

Bucky let his thumb hover over the keyboard as he thought about how to start a conversation with a complete stranger over the internet. Maybe starting simple? God he was so bad at this now. Hey. Nice to meet you. 

Nice to meet you too. You're a vet?

Yeah. 

How long were you in?

Bucky chewed his lip. Technically he was only in the US military for a year before he fell, but he was now working for The Avengers, who kinda are military but for the whole planet. Why was his timeline so hard to explain? He decided to keep it to what was simple. A year.

Why so short?

I had an accident that got me out. It wasn't a complete lie. His fall was an accident and he never really came back for a while.

Must of been bad.

Haha yeah. He let the message sit in the bar as he thought of a question to ask her. You said you travel. Where have you been?

A few places. I spent a couple of weeks in Europe. I got to see Ireland. It was beautiful. Have you been to Europe?

The conversation was nice and he really did feel like he was getting to know her. Maybe the online dating thing wasn't as bad as he thought. You just had to find the right person to talk to. It was surprisingly easy to keep the conversation going once the awkwardness went away and they talked for a good couple of hours before the tone of the messages shifted.

You stay in New York?

Yeah. It's my home state.

Where at? I live in Manhattan.

I am in Brooklyn.

We're practically neighbors. Want to meet up?

I am free tomorrow.

I meant tonight. It's only a 40 minute sub trip to Brooklyn. 

Bucky stared at the message. He knew the implication but he wasn't ready to randomly have sex with a person he hasn't even seen in person and just started talking to a few hours ago. I am not ready for that yet. Hopefully she'll understand.

No worries. Was testing you.

Testing me?

Yeah.

Now he was confused. Testing me for what?

To see if you were one of those that only wanted to fuck.

His brows furrowed at her message. He was offended she assumed he was but he wasn't going to say anything. Understandable but I don't go that far before I've gotten to know someone better.

You are an odd one.

That he rolled his eyes at. Sorry.

I didn't mean it in a bad way. Just never talked to anyone like you.

Is that a compliment?

Kinda yeah.

Bucky smiled to himself. Well thank you.

Cocky.

Very. He wasn't but it was easy to pretend to be in messages.

That confidence is gonna get you in trouble.

Usually does.

So a bad boy? 

Who knows.

That just confirms it.

He softly chuckled to himself. This kind of flirting wasn't bad. Didn't say it did.

The tone confirms it you cocky asshole.

You are thinking too much.

Can't hide the truth.

I just did.

And here I was gonna give you a surprise.

Bucky paused. How was she going to give him a surprise? Did she know where he lived? Was she actually a spy? He started getting uncomfortable. Surprise? 

Yep.

What kind of surprise?

Not telling.

Please? He wanted to know but was still worried how she was going to send it. 

Hmm, I might be convinced.

What do you want? Bucky sent it and immediately regretted it.

Maybe a little tease?

Bucky stared at the message, pretty sure he knew where this was going but he wanted to make sure. A tease.

Don't have to show a full dick pic. I wouldn't mind just seeing the bulge. 

A deep sigh filled the room as he closed his eyes and took a moment to collect himself. I am not that type of person. Sorry.

She didn't reply for a long moment. He thought she left him alone. Ok. What if I shared first?

What do you mean? Despite himself, he asked. Another regret.

I share a nice tit pic and you share a nice dick pic.

I already said I am not that kind of guy.

Maybe this will change your mind. And the next message was what she promised, a picture of her and her naked body with her boobs pressed together to show them off. Not gonna share back after this?

Bucky had no idea how to respond. He turned his phone to the side so he wasn't looking at her picture as he tried to process it all. This was nothing he expected to deal with. It took a moment for him to figure out what to say back. I don't feel comfortable sending a picture of my dick to a random stranger on the internet.

Wow. I have never been rejected so thoroughly even after sending that picture.

Sorry. 

I can't decide whether to be impressed or embarrassed now.

I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed.

It was my fault for assuming. Lol But I was curious to see what you were packing.

Bucky sighed. He wasn't sure how to answer without it sounding like he was bragging. It's nothing impressive. Trust me.

I doubt it. 

You haven't seen it to know.

No but doesn't the serum enhance all of you?

Bucky's half smile dropped. What?

The super soldier serum. Doesn't it make everything bigger? It made Steve grow.

How do you know I have the serum?

It's not hard to Google your name. He forgot about that small detail. Before he could respond, she sent another message. I was hoping to see a super soldier dick. Oh well. You think Steve will send me a picture?

No. 

You've asked him?

No but I know he won't. 

Then how do you know?

I just do. Steve didn't even have a dating profile. He was more stubborn about meeting people in person than Bucky is and Nat couldn't break him.

Not very convincing.

Even so the answer is still no.

Then have you seen it?

No.

Not even back in the day? I bet you were curious.

Not even then. Bucky did manage to get Steve to talk about a quick fling he had while he was on tour and ended up learning more than he cared for about how the serum enhanced all of him. Bucky didn't appreciate being told Steve thought he couldn't fit and panicked but this random stranger didn't need to know that story.

Don't guys like compare dick sizes when they pee or something?

I don't look at other people's dicks while I use the bathroom. Now he was self conscious about other people looking at him while he went to the public bathrooms. Add that to his long list of things that give him anxiety. 

I bet guys look at yours. Probably jealous at how big it is.

I doubt it.

Doubt they look or doubt yours is big?

Bucky sighed. He knew what she was trying to do and he was getting tired of the conversation focusing around penises. That doesn't convince me to share a picture. 

Not even a little?

No.

I just want a little something to work with.

Goodbye.

Bucky took a second to find the button Nat showed him to block her just as she sent a message accusing him of jacking off to her picture as they talked. He closed the app as he let his head rest against the pillows with a grimace. Online dating wasn't for him. He wasn't ready to deal with that kind of stuff. It's not a bad thing to want to meet people in person right? 

"Just have to socialize and I can avoid online dating for the rest of my life." Bucky put his phone on the charger and started the next episode of the show as he tried to move on from the whole thing. He'd have to ask Nat how to delete his account in the morning.

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

When the Path Changes

Buckyxf!Reader, no triggers, mention of cheating though

---------------------------

You adjust your veil again as you look at yourself in the mirror. You were going to get married. You should be happy but you felt...indifferent. The spark you two had died long ago, at least for you. Why did you even say yes in the first place when your heart wasn't in it? Before you could answer your own question, the door opened and Bucky walked through. Your heart skipped a beat when your eyes connected through the mirror. He was the reason why you lost that spark with the man you're supposed to marry. Over the course of your friendship, you fell in love with Bucky but couldn't tell him. He was a superhero and being his friend was already putting you at risk. You couldn't put that extra pressure on him so you found another person to try a normal life with but now it felt like a hollow relationship. "Trying to sneak a peek at the bride's wedding dress before the groom?" You gave him a half smirk which he didn't return. Your expression fell as he grew more serious. "What's wrong Bucky?"

"I can't let you do this."

You let out a short disbelieving laugh as you spun on your heel to face him with your own frown. "And why not? If this is because he said-"

"Because I love you." His words hung in the air as you took a long moment to process them.

"You... love me?"

Bucky looked away, not able to meet your gaze now. "Have for a while, sweetheart."

"You have the absolute worst timing." The anger in your voice caused him to look back up at you guiltily. "If you had said something earlier, I wouldn't have accepted his proposal!"

You stared at each other for a moment before Bucky took a tentative step forward. "You like me back?"

You scoffed as you rolled your eyes. "I've been in love with you for months dumbass."

Bucky took a couple more steps forward as you leaned back against the mirror with your arms resting across your stomach. "Why didn't you say anything?"

You glared at him in challenge. "Why did you wait until now to tell me?"

Silence hung in the air for a heartbeat before the door opened again and your mother walked in. "Honey- what are you doing here Bucky?"

He gave your mother a tense smile before turning towards the door. "Leaving."

"Oh..." She gave him a confused look before looking towards you for an explanation.

You didn't give her one but chose to say something more truthful. "Mom, I can't go through with the wedding."

Bucky paused with his hand on the doorknob as you spoke. "Oh honey, pre-wedding nerves are-"

"It's not nerves mom. I can't marry a man I don't love." The room was silent as your mother stared at you in confused disbelief. You saw Bucky's shoulders tense in anticipation even though his back was turned. "I'm sorry mom... but I can't marry him." You couldn't hold back the crack in your voice.

Your mother let out a soft sigh and pulled you into a gentle hug. "It's ok honey. We'll call off the wedding." You buried your face into her shoulder as you started to cry softly when a soft click of the door closing told you Bucky had left.

It took a while for you to calm down enough to walk out of the room to the main floor where the wedding was taking place. Your eyes scanned the room of the few friends and family that found seats to watch the ceremony. A sense of relief settled in your chest when you saw that Bucky was still here, sitting next to Sam. Your appearance quieted the room since it was still supposed to be your time to prepare for the walk down the aisle. Your mother gave your hand a tight squeeze before she sat next to your father. All eyes were on you now. Anxiety rose in your throat. You didn't want to disappoint everyone but you can't go through with it. Maybe there was another way to compromise?

Your gaze instinctively went towards Bucky and he gave you a tense smile. The simple gesture reminded you of what happened in the side room and it eased enough of your anxiety to start. "I..." You cleared your throat so your voice would stop shaking. "I am canceling the wedding. I can't go through with it." The room stayed silent as guests looked at each other in confusion.

"Excuse us." You let yourself be led to a side room by your fiancé. "I get having nerves but this is ridiculous."

You didn't want to drag this out any longer than necessary. "I know about Jenna."

His face paled. "How?"

You crossed your arms over your stomach as you walked further into the room. "It was by chance. I saw her kiss you at a café I passed. You didn't exactly push her away." You weren't hurt about it, just disappointed at this point. "I'm not mad. Just disappointed you didn't tell me you didn't want this anymore." You motioned between the two of you. "Then we wouldn't be in this mess."

A flash of guilt crossed his face. "I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't get the courage to."

You shrugged as you took a seat on the arm of a chair. "Don't. I don't want excuses." You sighed. "I'm not much better. I stopped loving you before I saw you with Jenna. I didn't get involved with anyone though." You weren't sure why you wanted to clarify that part but you still did.

The two of you avoided each other's gazes as you waited for the other to speak. He was the first to break the silence. "Who?"

Guilt settled in your stomach but you answered. "Bucky."

"I am not surprised."

Another pause between the two of you. At least this break up was the most civil one yet. "Better go tell them it's over." You stood and smoothed out your dress before adding. "I won't mention you and Jenna."

"Thank you." You almost didn't hear it as you opened the door but gave him a half wave over your shoulder as you left.

The wedding was officially canceled much to everyone's confusion but they accepted it. You just told them you needed more time to decide if this is the future you wanted. That answer seemed to satisfy most of the guests.

"You ok?" Sam made his way over to help you clean up the last bits of the wedding decorations. He was the one who checked and made sure you guys were ok. You always liked that about him.

"Yeah. We're probably not going to get married after all." It came out more indifferent than you intended.

Sam was surprised. "You don't sound upset about it."

You shrugged. "Turns out we both checked out emotionally but we were too chicken to actually tell each other."

Sam's expression dropped. "What do you mean?"

You handed him the last of the streamers to roll into a ball. "He fell in love with someone else and so did I. It was doomed from the engagement." Sam gave you a sympathetic frown but you shook your head with a small smile. "It's better for both of us honestly. Plus now I can go date the guy I like." You flashed him a wide grin.

Sam wasn't sure how to respond. He was expecting to comfort you, not learn it was a mutual breakup. "I hope for the best for you?"

You giggled at his awkwardness while you put the last paper decoration in the box. "Thank you."

"This going to your car?" Bucky interrupted the two of you as he pointed to a box. You weren't sure if he heard the end of the conversation with his super soldier hearing. If he did, he chose to keep it to himself.

You gave him a bright grin, ignoring the slight trepidation in your chest. "Yeah. You can take that one and I'll grab this one. Sam can bring the rest once he's done with the streamer."

Sam rolled his eyes at you but kept rolling up the paper streamer. "I see that Bucky is the favorite."

"Yep." You grinned even more before walking out. Bucky gave Sam a shiteating grin before following you to the car.

Once the boxes were loaded into the trunk, you took a moment to sit on the edge of the trunk. You were still in your wedding dress because you didn't have time to change before cleaning up. You were silent as you thought over the past few hours. There was a bit of relief now that you weren't going through with the wedding but you were scared Bucky was going to take back his confession now that you wanted to try a relationship with him.

"Hey Buck?"

Bucky glanced over from where he was leaning against the side of the car. "What sweetheart?"

"I'm glad you said something. I would have been unhappy if I went through with the marriage." You reached over to gently grab his hand so you could tug him closer. He let you lead him to settle in front of you. A small flicker of hope lit up in your chest. Bucky stepped in front of you with a more concerned expression as you didn't say anything for a moment. You wanted this with Bucky so badly and now that you have a chance, you were scared of it not working.

Bucky's blue hues studied your expression of worry. Before he could ask what was worrying you, you tenderly reached up to cup his cheek. A warm smile formed on your lips as your thumb lightly caressed his cheek. "Can we try this?"

Bucky knew what you meant. He had heard the tail end of the conversation with Sam. The fact you so openly told Sam you wanted to date the person you liked just after ending the wedding made him happier than he expected. Bucky gave you a small smile. "Sweetheart, I'd love nothing more." His warm palm cupped your cheek. You melted when his lips met yours in a slow kiss.

This is what felt right. You weren't going to change it for the world.

------------------------------

This short is inspired by this reel:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoUs1sQD8hi/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

Giving a Helping Hand

Sam grunted as he tried to move the larger crates to the back of the truck. "Hey Buck, can you give me a hand?"

"Sure." Bucky's voice answered from the front of the truck where he was separating the crates. 

A loud thud startled Sam as Bucky's metal arm landed on the bed of the truck next to him. "Very funny you-WHAT THE FUCK!?" Sam's scowl turned into terror as Bucky's metal arm balanced on its fingers before moving to the other side of the crate stack. Sam watched in confused horror as the metal arm yanked the stack further back into the truck. Once it was done, it hoisted itself over the cab and disappeared. "What the hell was that!?" Sam stomped to the front of the vehicle.

"What?" Bucky gave him a confused scowl as he rotated his arm back in place.

Sam motioned to his arm. "It moves on its own?"

"Yeah?" 

Sam stared at him with an unreadable expression. "How?"

"Wakanda tech is able to keep my arm and brain connected wirelessly."

Sam pursed his lips at how casual Bucky was about it. "That's useful… Just warn a guy next time." Bucky started laughing as Sam scowled indignantly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you enjoyed this please consider following me and leaving a note. :)

Ten points to the person you can tell me where I borrowed the idea of Bucky's arm being able to move while detached. A thousand points to the one who can tell me the media's author and which part of the media's series it first showed up in.

Please guess so I don't feel like I'm the only one too obsessed with Bucky here. :')

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

Lottery

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

A Surprising Outcome

Relationship: BuckyxReader

The anger had calmed down to frustration, a contrast to the shouting match moments prior. Maybe we were finally running out of things to scream at each other. "I thought you'd be happy with the new job. I get paid more and get to work closer to home so I don't have to take the subway as far, which you," you jabbed Bucky's chest with your finger, not caring if he got angry again, "always told me was unsafe." Your shorter height didn't make you seem as intimidating as him but you still glared at Bucky with everything you had. "And with my boyfriend at the same place, I won't have to walk home alone anymore, which again, you kept drilling was unsafe." He looked away with a mixture of guilt and anger, which only made your anger flare again. "God damn it Bucky! I did this as a compromise for both of you! I know you don't like my boyfriend but this is ridiculous!" Oh how you hated when you were mad enough, you start crying in frustration. It ends up feeling like no one takes you seriously afterwards. "I did this because I know you care damn it and I was trying to keep you from worrying so much about me." As quickly as it came, your anger shifted to defeat with a small sniffle.

"Hey." Bucky softened his expression as he pulled you into a hug. He didn't mean to make you this upset.

"Why aren't you happy?" It came out more like a whine but at this point, you didn't care. You just wanted to know why.

Bucky didn't answer for a long moment. He really didn't mean to make you cry. It was just expressing himself was difficult. Adding jealousy and anger in the mix only makes it more complicated, which is how it ended up with the two of you yelling at each other. "I..." Bucky sighed when you thought he wasn't going to answer. "It's because I don't like him."

You scoffed but didn't try to move away from him. "Fucking understatement of the year Buck."

A flash of annoyance crossed his face. "Look, I don't trust him."

"You don't trust anyone."

"This is a different kind."

You rolled your eyes as your voice dripped with sarcasm. "Sure."

Bucky gripped your shoulders to pull you back enough to glare at you. "He's not who he says he is." You returned the glare as Bucky's expression grew angrier. "I just want you to be ok damn it."

You pulled out of his grip with an exasperated sigh. "I am ok. At this point, I just think you're jealous."

Bucky's jaw clenched at your words before growling. "I am but this has nothing to do with it."

That made your eyes widen in surprise. Bucky realized what he said as an embarrassed flush dusted his cheeks. The two of you stood in silence before you broke the quiet with a soft voice. "How long?"

"I don't know. Months?" Bucky licked his bottom lip as his nerves took over. He didn't know when he had started liking you but it didn't go away over time like he had hoped. Then you got a boyfriend which made him hide his crush even more but he couldn't just cut you out of his life. Sam and you had shown you guys deeply cared about him and are willing to pull him out of the deep holes he let himself fall into occasionally. He'd be stupid to let that disappear so he sucked up his pride and settled on being your best friend. You watched him bite the inside of his cheek as the silence dragged on. You had no idea what to say but Bucky continued so you didn't have to respond. "I don't trust him. Not because I like you." He forced himself to look at you with a serious expression, even though you could see the underlying trepidation. "He's been an asshole to Sam every time we hang out. I've almost punched him for it."

"He's never..."

"He only does it when you aren't around."

The accusations coming from anyone else would have sounded stupid and like a ploy to cause drama but you knew Bucky. He'd talk shit to Sam's face to rile him up but never talk shit about Sam behind his back. Bucky wasn't that type of person. "I had no idea…"

Bucky frowned as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm sure he didn't want you to know."

You watched Bucky shift his weight uncomfortably and knew he was hiding something else. "There's more to it..." Bucky tense at your words. He looked away and that only confirmed your observation. "What else did he do?"

He kept his gaze on a random spot on the wall for a long time before finally answering. "He insulted you."

"That's not a big deal to-"

"It is to me." Bucky gently cut you off as he looked back at you. "He said something bad enough that Sam looked like he wanted to punch him too."

You blinked in surprise as Bucky awkwardly chuckled. "That's why you guys don't ever hang out with him now." The short nod was all you needed. "I'm sor-"

"It's not your fault." He placed his hands gently on your shoulders again. "You don't need to apologize."

"But-"

"No buts." He gave you a stern stare until you conceded. "I don't blame you."

You chewed the inside of your cheek but nodded in understanding while you studied his face as he seemed to relax with a half smile. You returned it but you weren't expecting a stomach flip when his smile grew. "Did you still want to go to the movies?" You tried to hide the emotion by changing the subject.

"Do you?"

You nodded with a bigger smile. "I'm going to clean myself up and we can head out." You gave him a quick wave before going into the bathroom. You turned on the sink and watched the water run. Your not so small crush from when you first met resurfaced again. Bucky was attractive and that's what got your attention in the first place but the more you got to know him, the harder it was to let that crush die. You told yourself you were going to wait until he made the first move because you don't want to cross any boundaries. You ended up meeting your current boyfriend and for a moment, you could mostly forget about the attraction to Bucky, but today brought it back full force.

The fact that your boyfriend was only nice to Sam when you were around made you reconsider your relationship. If he was doing that behind your back, what else was he doing without your knowledge? You washed my face as you thought everything over. You didn't want someone in my life if they were going to treat your closest friends terribly behind your back. You'd rather be single than lose Sam and Bucky. You pause as you thought back to a few moments ago when Bucky admitted he liked you. You knew what you wanted to do.

You quickly finished cleaning up and made your way back to the living room. Bucky stood from the couch but before he could say anything, you hugged him tightly.

"You ok?" Concern laced his words as he hugged back just as tightly.

"Yeah. I just figured out something important." Bucky frowned his brow in confusion as you buried your face deeper into his chest.

"Is that why you took so long?"

"Yep and for the record," you hummed as you pulled away to start walking towards the front door with a shiteating grin, "I like you back Bucky." Before you could see his expression, you opened the door and turned away. "Once I break up with him, you better say yes to being my new boyfriend." You giggled as you stepped outside, not waiting for his reaction, but knowing he'd still follow you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! Leave a like if you enjoyed it!

This particular short is inspired by this reel:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoaH0AKgqI3/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Go give the creator some love. They make some really fun POVs that inspire a bunch of the short stories I'm gonna end up sharing here.

[randomwritingsfortheworld]

States

"48." Steve answered with confidence.

Bucky stared at Steve in disbelief. "There are 49."

"Hawaii is a territory."

"Hawaii? I was talking about Alaska." Bucky frowned at his friend.

Steve furrowed his eyebrow in confusion. "What the hell is Alaska?"

"The 49th state." Bucky gave an exasperated groan as Sam leaned against the wall watching the two argue with a half grin. 

"I have never heard of it." Steve crossed his arms as he eyed Bucky. "Where is it?"

"By Russia."

Steve narrowed his eyes at his friend. "How do you know?" 

"How would I know?" Bucky stared at him long and hard in annoyance before Steve realized it was a stupid question. 

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "They sent you to Alaska?"

"No." Bucky sighed heavily. "But they did tell me the U.S. got a new state across the ocean from Russia and I may be sent there."

A heavier silence fell between the two of them before Sam spoke with a wide grin. "There's 50 states now." The two looked over towards him in mild annoyance. "Hawaii and Alaska are states. I can pull up a map and show you."

"When did Hawaii become a state?" Steve frowned. "After the war?"

"I think so." Sam pulled out his phone to look it up. "Says August 21, 1959."

Bucky made his way over to Sam. "What about Alaska?" 

"January 3, 1959." 

Bucky grumbled. "They told me almost 2 years later." 

"What else have we missed?" Steve sighed as he pulled out his small notebook.

Sam shrugged as he put his phone away. "A lot. You guys missed 70 years of history."

"What do you know then?" Bucky crossed his arms as he studied Sam curiously.

Sam rubbed his chin in thought. "Well we landed on the moon and-"

"Wait the moon?" Bucky cut him off with an astonished expression.

Sam gave him an annoyed scowl at being interrupted. "Yes, the moon."

"How?" Bucky perked up in interest. Sam groaned, knowing it was going to be a long conversation.

Hello! First time writer here on tumblr! If you read this far, thank you! This piece is going to be part of my drabble series where I post random mini stories on other platforms like ao3 and Wattpad. Feel free to follow me on one of my other profiles to keep up with the Marvel group living in a world where Endgame happened but no one was lost in the battle. My other profiles are linked in the bio on this blog. I hope to see you again! :)