raininmybrain

[raininmybrain]

A Breach of Quarantine

Went to a bridal shower

For an old, young friend

I wore a mask

Covered in flowers

It was a different kind of photosynthesis

That took in the carbon dioxide

That swirled forth from my lungs

And made new life in those false leaves

 The others said I was justified

After all I had been through

Their skin bare, teeth gleaming

Breathing in that poisonous air

Or was it out?

Take a risk.

 My friend

Opened her gifts

Tearing away the ribbons to reveal

a different kind of wrapping paper

A gift for her future husband to tear away

Paper and lace, scattered to the floor

 Sick in the bathroom

Heart pounding

An itch I can’t bear to scratch beneath the mask

As I run hot water over my hands

Until I feel safe again

It takes some time

 I am more than selfish

But

I like the woman I see above the tap

Her face hidden from toxic eyes

By a curled smile of fabric

And a swathe of chestnut hair

She looks back with a hollow eye

And chooses to be seen

[raininmybrain]

Daughters of the Moon

Beneath its silver light we wait

Knee deep in snow - the sharp ice

Biting our legs, our warm breaths

Cooling before us.

We watch the freezing clouds

Swirl around the mountain peaks.

We take shelter together in the frigid wastelands,

Huddled around the flickering fire,

And wait for an emerald moonrise

To bathe the world in green.

 For the thaw -

For the slumbering seeds beneath rich earth

To climb and claw towards that light.

We will reach too

For that verdant illumination.

Just a few more silver nights

Before spring.

 Then we will wait upon the red moon;

Seeking the moment when the summer months

Acquiesce to autumn.

The crimson light blooming

Among fading trees.

Each thing is temporary -

Rusting,

Fading.

 But now there’s only silver

And endless winter months.

We wait.

We wait.

[raininmybrain]

Paradox Fox

Before we meet, I roamed the wilds of Greece

Between the sharp rocks and Cypress trees

I hid from the arrows of their hunters

Until nightfall where I descended as a plague

To feast on the children of Thebes

 The divine vixen

A summation of their sins

I slaughtered them at the behest of the gods

No spear could pierce me, no blade could tear my flesh

The fire of my pelt vanishing into smoke

 Then you arrived

Chained to your master

The wolfhound of divine providence

Our destinies clashed, tearing space

Even the gods took heed of us

 Laelaps

Daughter of Artemis

A hunter who always caught her prey

And I

The Teumessian Fox

Child of Dionysus

Never to be caught

 Together, we tore reality asunder

Until the god of sky cast us away

To continue our chase among cold stars

As creatures made of silver light

 Your footsteps are always behind me

I feel your hot breath - your teeth at my neck

And for our own eternity

We feel the thrill of the chase

And the thrill of the capture

All at once

[raininmybrain]

(Not) Our Mother Nature

At twilight, I sought the goddess of nature.

Fading orange light fell upon my shoulders

as I walked beneath the ancient trees.

Until, half buried in the black earth,

I found the bones of a deer

bleached white by sun and rain-

its rib cage made into a garden

by windswept seeds.

Atop its broken skull, a crown of mushrooms

drawn to the taste of life, draining out

A hollow eye, a baleful stare

And a smile from beneath the soil

 “Mother,” I asked. “I have searched long for you.

Through moonlit fields, grass drenched by summer rain,

and to the edge of the sea, where the sky breaks into the ocean.

I have looked below the earth and above it,

and I have seen the fires.

The heavens growing dark beneath the smoke.

The ground, trembling.

And I want to know how to save you.”

 The head rose, the bones cracking

as she shook away the soil

and looked at me, jaw open wide.

  “Child,” she said. “I am not the one who needs saving.

I have lived through the eons. I have seen

Giants die out. The oceans

Empty and refill

Life

Taking new shapes each time.

Death has been my companion

And rival

Since before your species

Came screaming

Into this world.

I do not plan on losing to it

For your sake

Or any others.

So, my daughter, you must choose

Just as the rest of life does

Grow.

Or die.

It is what your kind has done for thousands of years

Do not allow yourself to stop now.

Or that hounding death

That pursues us all

Will catch up to you.

Care for me

And I shall care for you

But do not be mistaken

I will take you in the end

As I have done with all that came before

And I will make a forest of your bones.”

[raininmybrain]

A Prayer to the Goddess of Waste

Hear me, oh Goddess of Refuse,

Patron of the Deadbeats

and Castoffs.

I come to you wanting,

for my impoverished mind

is filled with nothing

but the debris

of my squandered potential.

I beg you,

Great Mother of Waste

and Polluted Hopes;

take the discarded thoughts

left to rot in my idle mind

and dredge up something worthwhile.

Glean the fields picked clean by the crows

for even a single grain of inspiration.

Gather those seeds in your loving arms;

and within the vast landfill of your kingdom,

grow thy wretched garden

so that neither of us will starve.

[raininmybrain]

Golden

Those summer months of my childhood

In sunny California,

Before July days stretched into unbearable infinity -

We would spend the days catching frogs

And racing them across the bird bath

Like Olympic swimmers performing

Under the duress of their trainers,

Their eyes wide and bulging as they leapt

From the diving boards of our hands.

 I imagine the training of a frog athlete must be a grueling affair,

And when I close my eyes,

I dream of the sacrifices each

Amphibian Olympian

Must undergo;

The missed opportunities,

The lovers cast aside in the pursuit of fame,

The fear of failure that spurs them on,

Kicking their spotted legs, causing ripples

Along the surface of the water to escape

Our grasping fingers.

[raininmybrain]

New Skin

When did I look into the mirror

And stop hating all those little scars

On my shoulders

From where I tried to peel away

The imperfections

Like old wallpaper

As if beneath the veneer of flawed flesh

I’d find good bones underneath

And rebuild on top of them

Into something worth loving

 But the white patches

From where my flesh

Renovated this old house

Are from an age long since past

The rings in the wooden walls

Are remembering the tale of when they were once trees

But have found quiet acceptance in becoming my home

And found new ways to grow

[raininmybrain]

Forgetting

After I ran out of things to do

I started to forget to pass the time

It started small

Losing the trail of time as it danced across the riverbank

Until the sluggish night reminded me with a gentle cough

Of the absence of hours remaining in the day

 Then, simply failing to remember

What the slow titan of the week is calling itself these days

Each hour dissolves so easily into a blur of sleep and waking

That you often forget why you bothered in the first place

With the silly prospect of memory

 But it wasn’t until

At dinner

I forgot how to smile for you

As you told me about your day

That I realized,

Even as the details of your story had already begun to slip my mind,

That I was missing something

And couldn’t remember what

[raininmybrain]

Pluto

His frozen heart

Buried

With the lord of the dead

[raininmybrain]

Neptune

Secrets carried on the wind

No one is awake

To hear them

[raininmybrain]

Uranus

Lay down your head, o Father

Wrap yourself in cold blankets

And gaze upon what could be

[raininmybrain]

Saturn

Tell me, Saturn

Do you tire

Of the dance?

[raininmybrain]

Jupiter

Swirls of paint upon an empty canvas

Beauty without substance

Is beauty all the same

[raininmybrain]

Mars

Life

Lead to ruin

By the prophet of War

[raininmybrain]

Moon

What great sorrow

To be so close

And still feel alone

[raininmybrain]

Earth

Carries us

In the furrows between her scars

Oh how heavy we are

[raininmybrain]

Venus

Second child of the sun

Her dowry of clouds and starlight

With grace, she dances through fire