raininginmyroom

[raininginmyroom]

I WANT YOU TO BE MINE. SELFISHLY, THOUGHTLESSLY, MINE

@vaitiolo ; // “Orpheus and Eurydice”, by Virgil; // H.G. Wells, from a letter to Rebecca West (w. April, 1913); // “No, I don’t miss the dissipated night’s”, by Alexander Pushkin (tr. by D.M. Thomas) (1832); // “Blue is the Warmest Color”, by Ghalia Lacroix (2013); // “The Voyage Out”, by Virginia Woolf (1915); // Virgina Woolf; // “Soft Human”, by Emery Allen (2019)

[raininginmyroom]

— via knjfedog

[raininginmyroom]

𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔟𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔰 📚

[raininginmyroom]

[raininginmyroom]

Dreamt of you kissing someone else and woke up sick to my stomach. I know it’s all in my head but I get this feeling I’m not the only one

Did I tell you the girl of your dreams haunts mine? I picture you with her then get bitter and take it out on you

It’s not your fault I carry a heavy heart and am constantly suspicious that any man who says he loves me is hiding something

So I hide behind jokes and remind myself you’re one of the good ones, I won’t ever tell you that there’s still a voice asking me what if you’re not

I love you so I’m always fighting it despite myself, my jealousy could kill me. Feeling like second best is torture, all the girls you wanted before me taunt me

[raininginmyroom]

[raininginmyroom]

I kissed you with the nerves of a first date, the rush of sharing a last name. Learned and memorized you like I could get a bad grade, you’re the one subject I could never get enough of. I’m jotting your name as if it’s my own, I’ve ran out of pages just writing about you. I’m listening to every song you love, wondering if I could be someone you love, look what you’ve done to me. I love your mind, I dig your cinema, your hands fit mine, I’ve never so badly wanted to be the one. Being with you feels like the fourth of July, got a gut feeling you showed up at the right time, details of you all familiarized, I think we met in a past life.

[raininginmyroom]

adam and eve apple. quote translates to “I am your half”

[raininginmyroom]

You’re saltwater in my fresh wounds

The ones you gave me because I was too polite to ask you to stop

And if I did, but you didn’t hear it, is it still my fault?

You were a bad burn, left with a smile like you didn’t leave me scarred

I’m not capable of forgetting, I still shout your name in my sleep

And you’re still saltwater in my fresh wounds

I have a feeling I’ll never get rid of you

[raininginmyroom]

sometimes u are rly rly rly sad and then u dance in ur underwear to a song u used to love when you were fourteen and like. ok yeah hope will find me again. and u too

[raininginmyroom]

sometimes life is the most complicated thing ever and you feel like you'll never know peace and then sometimes life is as simple as feeling at peace after sitting on a bench for 30 minutes

[raininginmyroom]

Countless cruelty soothed by doses of dopamine

Lashed out by a harsh tongue

But calm down with a soft touch

Took some time, but I learned that’s not love

A rare good word from you nearly worked

Until I snapped out of it and left for my own good

Because you might not, but I love me

The one thing we don’t have in common

[raininginmyroom]

[raininginmyroom]

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All the thieves from my old high school continue to show up in my dreams, re-traumatizing me from all of their breaking in and always getting out of it with a sad sorry. They took a lot but the police can’t do anything about it, I walk around half naked even today.

The boys I thought were handsome showed their true colors and lost me in the process, it’s funny that every now and then they turn into wolves and howl outside my house, but I keep the windows and doors locked now. I don’t let anyone in anymore.

All those mean men who played nice pull off their ghost costumes well, they still haunt the hell out of me. I forget what they look like now, everything but their eyes. And when it’s late at night, they show me what they did to me all over again. Sometimes I find it hard to get out of bed to turn the light back on, so I let them play in the dark even when I’m tired and terrified.

I thought I healed and moved on but it’s halloween everyday for me, I guess that’s what happens when you run and hide from the agony just to keep yourself from hurting. It’s still there, alive and present and you’ll feel them breathe when you can’t get a hold of your escapism.

[raininginmyroom]

Kim Addonizio, from Lucifer at the Starlite: Poems; “You Were”