prettyeyes-pettylies

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

Adoptee Remembrance Day 💛

To those who died by suicide and those who were murdered by people who should've been family.

via [♡]

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

Anti-surrogacy crowd, stop telling people to "just adopt" challenge.

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

reunion/meeting/re-meeting/getting to know your birth family is not smooth at all and I wish that non adoptees knew this and could hold more understanding and empathy for us who are trying our best to navigate this situation when all the barriers are stacked against you

it's not smooth like you see in the media, in your films and your games, and I wish that people could take their time to understand how different and difficult and easy and smooth and heartbreaking and simple and complicated it can be for so many of us.

please don't take your information for granted

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

I can’t think of nothing more cruel than forcing a woman to gestate the child of a rapist because you believe that your imaginary omnipotent friend will be angry otherwise. It’s barbaric.

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

This is a reminder that your parents/guardians are supposed to feed you, give you shelter and clothes. These should not be seen as favors nor should they be pushing these things to be seen as favors they do for you. This is literally the bare minimum of what they signed up for and you deserve so much more than the bare minimum without being made to feel guilty about any of it.

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

(disliking how I can’t follow #adoption because it's mostly filled with pets or oc art)

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

Do you know what your first word was?

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai, the first indigenous actor nominated in any lead category, attends the 2024 Emmys with a red handprint over his mouth, the symbol for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW). September 15, 2024.

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

Will go insane if I think too much about how puppies (and other cute, little pets) are more protected/ have more rights than a newborn baby.

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

I’m so tired of people debating what constitutes a fetus versus a baby or whether abortion is murder. Why do you think women and girls should be forced to be pregnant and give birth against their will? Even dead bodies are treated with more respect

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

Someone said, “The reason you isolate when you’re struggling is because you were left alone as a child to deal with your emotions” and I felt that.

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

AITA for banning my husband and father in law from the delivery room due to their intensely stressful/creepy behavior during my pregnancy?

There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.

When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.

The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.

And then she never posted again.

Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.

Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:

TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.

She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--

I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.

And that was when she got the fuck out.

I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.

I truly never thought we'd see a resolution to this, and I feel like there's probably a good number of people who remember it, so I thought you might want to know.

ETA: Brilliantly, I put the link in at the top; here it is again for convenience.

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

[prettyeyes-pettylies]

Late night thoughts, but seeing white ppl's reaction to landback & Turtle Island & Hawaii has really showed us that so many people still don't understand settler colonialism or why it's bad, or even acknowledge the fact that them being born in Turtle Island does in fact, mean that they have privilege as a result of that settler colonialism.

"My ancestors didn't do any of the killing, so they didn't do any colonizing" You being in Turtle Island is proof that they did in fact, participate in colonization. Even if you know for a fact that your ancestors didn't kill any Indigenous people, the colonizers that DID do that specifically did it so that other White settlers could replace the Indigenous population. That's what settler colonialism is. The settlers that moved here were just as much part of colonization of the Americas as people like Christopher Columbus was.

"My ancestors were mostly farmers" I said this so many times in the past, but yeah they were still colonizers. Natives were pushed off good, farmable land onto reservations (specifically areas that tended to be worse off for farming, crop planting, and hunting) specifically so that white settlers could have the good areas to themselves to farm. The U.S and Canadian government paid for White settlers' travel expenses specifically so that they could come colonize Turtle Island. The gov put out ads to "buy Indian Land!" And people definitely took them up on it. Plenty of poor White people trespassed onto what even was designated as land reserved for Native Americans, and that land automatically became theirs ( and disenfranchised from the tribe) for no reason besides that they were on it. One reason why so many White Americans believe they have specifically a Cherokee ancestor is because there's lots who faked Native lineage in order to steal land from displaced Cherokee. Theres a good chance your ancestors did any one of these things.

I think people have this image of what a "colonizer" is in their head and it's a moustache twirling white villian holding a sword or a musket, so much that they don't remember or realize that "colonizer" or "settler" does very much in fact does also include their pastoral great grandparents who were "immigrants"