pineapplechurch

[pineapplechurch]

Happy Holidays!

[pineapplechurch]

[pineapplechurch]

we learned about sundown towns today!!! proof that racism never went away and that people are just more quiet about it. 

[pineapplechurch]

I made a meme for today

[pineapplechurch]

I think it's so unfair to call Bly Manor out about bury your gays trope, it's really not the case here. This is a series about love vs death, the pain of loss and broken hearts from the beginning and no character has a truly good or happy ending apart from the kids.

Even though all romances end tragically, Jamie and Dani have the happiest of lives together and when the inevitable time comes Dani dies in a selfless act of love. They both knew Dani was going to die sooner or later but they chose to be together and face it all in the company of each other because "to truly love another person is to accept that the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them". Their ending is bittersweet and sad, obviously, but it's just another tragic but beautiful love story that began and ended at Bly Manor not an example of "bury your gays".

The trope was never about "gays can never die in fiction", it's about how and why a lgbt character dies, how expandable they seem to be compared to their heteronormative counterparts, it's when a queer character must die or have an unhappy ending because of their sexuality, and we see nothing of this in Bly Manor. We actually get the opposite because the lesbians were the only ones to live their love fully for years and they even got married. Jamie and Dani being a lesbian couple was never an issue throughout the show, we don't even see another character being homophobic towards them, the only "bad" thing we see is they talking about legal marriage to be honest.

[pineapplechurch]

"do you want company...while you wait for your beast in the jungle?"

[pineapplechurch]

Victoria, once again, excitedly talks about Jamie and Dani’s healthy relationship

“The work that Amelia and I are able to do, an enormous amount of intensity and romance and drama within a very healthy functional relationship…”

[pineapplechurch]

dani vs. making tea

[pineapplechurch]

some thoughts about bly manor that i havent seen other people express yet (big spoilers)

1. Dani isn’t just haunted by her fiance, she’s haunted by what he represented. When she sees him it tends to be in mirrors, so he’s stood with her like some perverse image of heterosexuality. He tends to touch her in a sexual/romantic way which she’s clearly uncomfortable with. He is both literally the spectre of her dead fiance and a metaphor for compulsory heterosexuality.

1b. see also: dani seeing him while literally trapped in a closet against her will.

2. The last episode is 100% a metaphor for being in a relationship where one partner has a chronic/terminal illness. This includes chronic mental illness (the suicidal ideation is not there by accident). Theres a lot of subtext about feeling like a burden on your partner, being scared to put them through the trauma of your illness and being scared theyll leave you when youre too much trouble. These ideas are brought up earlier in the series when discussing Owen’s mother’s dementia (and i could make a whole other rant about Jamie’s character development in this regard).

3. Preface: I dont like peter he’s an abusive arsehole and controlling freak. BUT I think this dislike is making people less likely to examine Peter’s motivations and the character’s themes. I think he represents one of the show’s central themes about the cyclical nature of abuse; how abused people often take out their abuse on others, therefore creating more abused people. 

We know peter was abused by his father (probably sexually abused if the comments about ‘other boys’ and ‘innocence’ and his mother knowing are read into) so it’s interesting to me that his actions towards Miles and Flora could be seen as him grooming them by taking over their bodies without their consent. They both seem to know to keep their interactions with him a secret, he promises them rewards for their compliance and when they complain that he ‘tucks them away’ without their consent he acts contrite and promises not to do it again. Peter embodies the cycle of abuse, grooming the children the way he himself was likely groomed. I am not in any way excusing his actions, just saying its interesting. 

4. Linked to the above point: the cyclical nature of the lady in the lake (how she walks the same path each time, how her years trapped in the trunk were a repeating cycle) parallels the cycle of abuse and this is totally intentional. Viola started this cycle of pain, abuse and death through her unwillingness for her loved ones to watch her die. She and Perdita murder each other, another strange cycle of violence, and the ghosts created by the cyclical violence are trapped in her ���gravity” and unable to leave (aka unable to leave the cycle of abuse). The cycle will keep on going forever until it is stopped actively, just like real cycles of abuse.

4b. Dani stops the cycle (both the cycle of abuse and the lady in the lake) through a totally selfless act of love. this makes me cry bc she’s so good, she didnt deserve any of this.

5. Peter and Rebecca’s “love” is intentionally compared to Dani and Jamie’s. Dani and Jamie discuss how “love is not about possession”. Peter LITERALLY possesses Rebecca so he can force her to stay with him forever. Jamie knows that Dani will have to leave someday and cherishes every minute, Peter murders Rebecca to prevent her from leaving. Poetic Cinema.

6. everyone has said this but its worth noting. I’m crying. I’m fucking crying. everything about this show is so good I havent even delved into half the shit i could wtf

[pineapplechurch]

[pineapplechurch]

hey guys i just wanted to share: i’ve been going to therapy lately (over the phone appointment bc of the pandemic) and i wanted to share some tips that my therapist mentioned in case that helps anyone else.

1) brains are programmed to worry and stress about the worst case scenario bc that keeps you alive but you can unlearn that. just acknowledge the thought (e.g. college will be terrible and i won’t be able to handle the workload), say “thank you brain for trying to predict the future, but i’m choosing to believe that things will work out great,” and then move on.

2) look at the pretty river and remember that THE! FUTURE! IS! JUST! AS! LIKELY! TO! BE! AWESOME! sure, maybe things will suck but maybe you’ll get that promotion, the job that makes you feel fulfilled, that person will like you back! I tend to be a pessimist but you have to give equal airtime to the idea that amazing things are coming your way.

3) sometimes you gotta do boring stuff and it sucks. i call it “adulting”–laundry, dishes, shopping, meal planning, etc. if you don’t do it, your space will be stinky and you’ll feel yucky, but it’s way more fun to be on tumblr or watching avatar: the last airbender (rb with what kind of bender you’d be). SO WHAT DO YOU DO? you be mindful. it’s a meditation practice. so when you’re folding shirts, notice the texture of the clothes, the smell of fresh linen, the feeling of your body. be present in that moment. ground yourself in what’s happening in the right this second feeling so that your brain stops planning/forecasting/stressing.

4) all you have to do is this moment. depression is sadness about the past, either worrying about mistakes/bad things or feeling sad that it’s over. the past is gone. let it go as a gift. anxiety is worrying about the future but brains aren’t good at predicting the future so we just get scared and make up bad scenarios. all you have to do is make this moment the best it can be. can you put ONE shirt in the laundry basket? can you say something kind instead? can you take a moment to appreciate your blessings?

Look guys, I know that mental illness SUCKS. IT SUCKS SO MUCH. but I believe in you and I think you’re so awesome and powerful and life is just waiting to send you everything you wanted and wished for so long. please stay safe, tell someone if you need help, and please go outside and don’t stay on your computer all day. 

xoxo, bea.

[pineapplechurch]

Haha, I do that (too)

Me reblogging posts about ADHD during my free period like:

"Haha, I do that."

[pineapplechurch]

WASP

[pineapplechurch]

Achievement unlocked:

I Cuddled A WASP TODAY

[pineapplechurch]

wholesome

[pineapplechurch]

It really is

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

[pineapplechurch]

wah :0