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All my friends are dead…

These are the lyrics to some hip hop song that was popular on the radio a few months ago. Honestly, I am not sure whose song it is and did not bother to look it up. I just know I needed these lyrics for the purpose of this blog. I dreaded hearing the song because I was on the brink of being the friends that was dead. Having time to sit with death and being absent from the body takes a great deal of courage and strength. A type of courage and strength many would run from were they given the choice.

Over the weekend, I lost a friend that battled with the same illness that I did. He looked death in the face a year and a half longer than I did. He guided me through the beginning stages of my journey. He showed me how to stay in love with God and with people in the midst of the wilderness. As I sit with death and as I sit with an unrelenting amount of survivor’s remorse, I am compelled. I am compelled to live on. I am compelled to honor my friend. I am compelled to make change and be change in all the ways that I can. I sit with the idea of second life, not after life, but this second earthly life that I now have.

There’s a scripture in the bible that speaks of letting the dead bury the dead. Essentially there were lives that still needed to be touched with the good news. I understand this concept but want to bring it into the context of Afrikan spirituality by saying; Let the dead bury the dead and let our ancestors lead our way. In this season, I want my life to represent death to the old me and life anew with my lessons, teachings and a message of everyday miracles being manifested.

Gratefully, all my friends aren’t dead. Ancestors keep showing my what the deal is and what I have to do to assist in keeping souls on the planet.

All my friends aren’t dead.

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Long blessed day. Preaching at one church, ministers meeting at my own. Today was rough on my body but now I rest.. 😴😴 (at Los Angeles, California)

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Exploring the fashion district downtown today. My mini-adventures are so fun.. ☺️🙌🏽☀️ 80 degrees (at Los Angeles, California)

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I love my people. God is working... (at Missiongathering San Diego)

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Some of my new friends from @missiongathering in San Diego. All smiles over here.. (at Missiongathering San Diego)

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Live from San Diego..sharing the good spoken word with the people.. #missiongathering #doc #cst (at Missiongathering San Diego)

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My alternate universe. I'm the only one there...Missing my community... #proctor18 #rize #errybodyelse 🙄 (at Moby's Coffee Shop)

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I'm a full grown person but you get the picture ☺️💪🏽✌🏽✨💚

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At one point I learned transcendental meditation. This was 30-something years ago. It took me back to the way that I naturally was as a child growing up way in the country, rarely seeing people. I was in that state of oneness with creation and it was as if I didn't exist except as a part of everything. Alice Walker ☀️ 🍃 🌻

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Spent the day at the Lorraine Motel and at STAX with my Pastor @mk_handy. Taking in the black aesthetic during Black History feels right.. ☺️🌻 (at Memphis, Tennessee)

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I love y'all so much...I worked to get two new podcasts up for you! "I wonder" and "Black Dolls." Being in Memphis has me feeling the beauty of the black aesthetic and all that has meant to me, historically, ideologically, theologically, physically, and spiritually. You might have to listen twice. #itunes #soundcloud #healing #hope #love #blackhistoryforever✊🏽 (at Memphis, Tennessee)

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Thankful for my family..all a yall!! #fte #proctor18 #peaceprez #memphis 💚💙❤️ (at Memphis, Tennessee)

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#rizelikethesun ☀️

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Headed to Memphis. See some of my preacha friends there.. #proctor @just_ebony901 whaddup sis!? (at Southwest Airlines at LAX)

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Love y'all!💕 feeling so groovy today! 🕺🏽#peacepresident #love #hope #smile #thrive #peace (at East 105th Street Christian Church)

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My spirit is so high today. Been writing song non-stop for my sangers. Now they playing this Fela in the Cuban spot. Whew! feels good. Hope the sounds came through. When you pray use your feet people... 💃🏽🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏽 (at El Cochinito)

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Come join me in California at the Revive Conference. I'll be sharing some spoken work at almost all of the worship services! February 22-24 at Missiongathering San Diego! Link in my bio. Hit my website whoisyani to have me as a guest speaker or artist. 💁🏽. #sandiego #confrence #spokenword #artist #creative #god #love #worship #knowledge #healing #thankful #hope