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so bored so bored so bored so bored so bored. if i start a task or a show or a chore i will just be waiting for it to be over the whole time. so bored so bored so bored so bored so bored

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caught you containing multitudes bro lmao i love every glittering facet

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thinking over and over and over of that clip from a maya angelou talk about the importance of knowing one another's history. no matter how brutal no matter how bleak no matter how despairing no matter anything because the only way through it is to go all the way through it. and the only way to build anything with one another is by having gone all the way through it because otherwise there is no connection. whats a connection worth that's built on ignorance? sustained by ignorance? "only equals can make friends" she says. only equals.

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by starparkdesigns

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just finished watching society of the snow and i have so many thoughts. it is such a poignant, beautiful and important film. a film about human resilience, spirit, humanity and above all friendship. there’s so many films of this genre but i don’t remember seeing any whose gaze was this humanistic and respectful. not once for the entirety of two hours and twenty minutes of it do you feel it judging or glamourising its characters. and there’s so many profound moments. especially the scene with arturo and numa, when the former tells the latter that he has never been more faithful than this exact moment and he hasn’t placed his faith in God but all his friends that are helping him survive. and then there’s another moment when a character says he sees no point of following a God that tells him what to do at home but said nothing about how to survive on a mountain. these scene may sound bleak, but the beauty of the film lies in the radical hope they all possessed. even the ones who knew they weren’t going to make it but they hoped that their friends would. that at least one of them would survive.

and as numa said, “there’s no greater love than to give one’s life for friends”.

the world is bleak and there may not be much, but there are friends. there is community. there is humanity. there is hope.

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my maternal grandmother (how is it that english doesn’t has different words for family members?? everyone’s an aunt and both your grandmothers are just that. how do english speakers tell the difference) passed away last night. i was in the subway. it wasn’t my first time crying on the subway but it was the first i had to force myself to. i’d just read the text about her passing away and it didn’t generate an immediate sorrow. maybe it’s because im so far away and distanced from the reality. or maybe because i was never really close to her. i wasn’t her favourite grandchild for sure. but it still feels so sudden. i’ve wished sometimes that i’d get a text announcing her death rather than my mom pitching an another proposal to me. all my professors think she’s already dead because i’ve lied about it to ask for an extension. now that she actually is, i can’t bring myself to. they’d understand but also it’s just wrong? but who am i talk to about what’s wrong and what’s right. i know i don’t have any morals. i may not be able to cry for her, but i can’t help but think about her now. i didn’t know her as a person. she was just nano. my mothers mother. maybe even the reason why my mother is the way she is. i don’t even know how old she was. i don’t think she even knew. she’d never been to a school. she couldn’t read or write or maybe she did and i never bothered to ask. she didn’t know her own birthday. i don’t know what she was like when she was a child. i wonder if my mother knows or did she also never bothered to ask. why is it that we don’t know anything about our mothers. why are they just that- mothers?

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how did no one in school realise that i was bi?! i was literally obsessed with krystal. girls who listened to fx are now gay and mentally ill. i’m girls.

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Feeling very unethical today, might spread hate

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Hug me till I forget all my sadness.

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“I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”

— Unknown

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I’m 1% alive, and 99% tired.

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SAVING FACE — 2004 ⚢ dir. Alice Wu

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how is this is going to hurt not a tag? like did none of y’all watch one of the best shows that came out last year? this is giving hingeophobia: dislike of or prejudice against unhinged, fruitloops with dead best friends

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oh, i love the way relationships develop their own personal language of love. when all that joy shows the way they love you. i love when it is a little icon to who they are, to how you get along with them.

my sister takes a picture of a dead bug and sends it to me - this is you. my friend asks me how the move is going; she put a reminder in her phone to check up on me. i put a piece of ice down my friend's back, he returns the favor by holding my phone over my head and making me jump to catch it. jason and i scream-sing green day while going all of 15 miles an hour down country roads. molly is who i go to for a quiet night in with 5 dollar wine.

i go out for dinner with them and have to step outside to take a phone call; when i come back they've ordered my favorite appetizer without needing to be asked. andrew and i have a long-standing tradition of him picking me up to spike me directly into the first soft-looking surface around. i don't even need to speak to my best friend - she and i will just look at each other and have an entire conversation. burst out laughing at 3 PM, high and cackling like we're evil witches. i just moved by myself into a new city - my brother keeps introducing me to his friends that now live close to me. he always says - oh yeah, this is sibling and then pretends to ignore me. for days now, my family has been in and out of my apartment, just tinkering with things; making sure i am settling in nicely.

i usually have watermelon instead of cake for my birthday; kim forces a full yankee candle into the rind so i can have something to blow out and wish on. for 20 minutes on a saturday, all us grown adults crawl into one bed to have a cuddle puddle like we're in high school again. every 20 seconds someone starts giggling, and then we're laughing again. nick calls me from california; we both groan about the price of tickets, agonizing. miranda and i meet up in the city for the first time in years - without discussing it beforehand, the minute we lay eyes on each other, we both strike gruesome little gremlin poses instead of waving. dean always goes for the hug. joe always does a single firm handshake. sometimes i think about my friends and get so happy i just start crying.

oh, how wonderful to live in a world where affection is biologically ingrained in us. how wonderful that affection helps us build our single greatest strength - community. how wonderful that affection is our body's way of saying - thing is good, let's keep. how wonderful, this language, this skein we weave! to show the other person - i might not always say it. but i love that you live in me.

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i don’t have the guts to say it on twitter because film twitter scary as hell but YOONGI’s CONCERT WAS SO WONG KAR WAI- esque. the colors, the camera angels. it was just so asian cinema, im emo and gay vibe, i loved it.