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when life starts to lose its meaning

after gazillion years of literally doing things that are meaningful to the people that look at me on the outside but are a total opposite on what’s on my heart, i have finally come to decide that i’ll be back in managing this blog. 

It’s been months since I last posted and more than a lot has happened to me. I graduated, I said yes to the man that I have been treating as my best friend for the past two weeks, I have been tempted and tried by the Lord, I struggled, I failed, I fell hard on the ground, I got back up, I looked at how far I have fell and realized that going back up seems impossible, decided to life in my own leaving all the things that I once considered dear to me behind and here I am at this very moment trying to fix the thoughts on my mind.

Once, while I was at work getting all the work done in a day, i realized that I have placed so much physical and mental hard work to really accomplish what I need to accomplish on that day. But whats peeping behind the thoughts of a successful day was the thought that all of which that I was doing was really meaningless. I tried to look back at how my life was when I was doing all the things for the Lord and I realized that it was very different. 

I decided to really dwell on the thought for just a moment and concluded that To really reach and experience the full meaning and essence of life, I gotta live it for Someone whom I know where the credit of my work is not in vain because it is for His glory.

 My pride snapped and I was really sad on who I was and I am at the moment. I never thought that I’d be at this point in my life. but I know despite of how deserving I am, the grace  of the Lord is as wide and as vast as the ocean.

Tonight, I come to Him in prayer that He will lead me to the place where I could rest in His arms, in His love, in His grace and in His mercy. It’s been a tiring run out in the wilderness and I thirst for His grace to work in my life not because I am afraid that my salvation will be voided but because I genuinely know how sweet it is to be at his presence every single day.  

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when it's time to walk that way we wanna walk it well :) Exactly the kind of day that I won't regret and forget :)

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When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator. #tb

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An open letter to my sister ..

I was cleaning earlier this morning and I found this photo in the box full of old pictures. As I stared at it, I can't believe the emotions that came flashing before me. We're not really the cheesy and show the affection through FB photos and posts type of sisters but maybe for once in my life I'd like to beg to differ. hahaha. 

I can't put into words how blessed and thankful I am to have you as a part of my life. If I'd have to live twice, I'd personally ask the Lord to have you still as my sister for the second time. but since we only have one life to live, I am beyond grateful that we have a lifetime to spend as sisters. I swear I regret all the times that I choose to do other things than mingle with you! huuuhuuuu. and I thank the Lord that there are still more days to correct my lapses. From this night on, I'd be sure to spend more time with you watching superman returns and random you tube videos. I'll also make sure to take you out on a tea shop and buy you an express music phone and an NIV Bible. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. 

P.S: I can't believe my tear ducts every time I stare at this photo. Probably because I can't digest how much we have grown from that physical state to how we look like now (gandang di mo inakala) HAHAHA. joke. I seriously can't believe how much we have grown and how much we have been through as sisters. djhgbvakldjghgeobkjbgkjshghdkkgdsjbg. that's all 

love, your annoying sister <3

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swirl of nonsense thoughts..

It's been a while since i last posted a text post that's driven by my naturally random self. The most recent was probably from my old blog page.  'Coz I have resolved to post more meaningful text posts rather than the "all about random things" or you might 'wanna call it the "babble kind". But as of the moment. my head is soo full of random thoughts and I'm kind'of itching to punch in the keyboard keys so, allow me. hahaha.

#RaceToFeb26 has been the hashtagged words that I use regularly on twitter to keep myself motivated in finishing the race that I am currently in to. It's a race 'coz it has honestly been a hell of a struggle since day one and its by grace alone that kept me going on. Buuuuuuuuuut, the long waaait is down to 4 days alreadyyyyy. OMG OMG OMG. I can't even fgkajhgkjhsdfg the feels. huuuhuuuu. I have a lot of things to do and accomplish and I badly need my flash disk but unfortunately I lost it just this week. huuuu. So at this very moment, I'm under the dilemma of going out to buy a new one or stay home and think of another way to save my needed files. hahaha. Also, le friends texted me that they are planning to hang out at the Sunday tea shop that we usually go to. So i might consider that as another reason to go out. mwehehhe. but i really don't knoooow 'coz mia familia is going to church in the afternoon. hahahaha

But so much with that dilemma, the week that comes after my last week as an intern is already planned out for something that's really big, new and exciting. I'm all anxious and uncertain about everything that goes with it. huuuhuu the butterflies in my tummehhh. 'Been praying for the best things to happen and if you could spare some time, please pray for me as well :) That the Lord's will be done over this new chapter in my life. mwehehe. 

Alsssooooo, earlier this month, I was tapped to do something for the church and i haven't been preparing for it 'coz internship responsibilities and self comfort always gets in the waaay. So, I'm planning to attend to it on my devo time for the whooole week. high hopes for that to be accomplished. haha. 

huuuhuu. so yeahhh. won't make this sooo long any more. Gotta start making worksheets for the rest of the week. haha :) Blessed and productive week to me and everyone! :) 

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weekend road triiip with lavvvvs :) 

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It's been a while since I'm all dolled up :)) #graduationshoot #crusaderyearbook 

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friendship goal reached! (wearing a college toga for our year book photo). Next stop: GRADUATION! To God be the glory! :) 

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not that I could relate to it at this moment, but this song is really a strong one! hands doooown :) 

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Someone's heart is always being blessed...

hello everyone! Another week has passed and I feel like apart from the Lord's sustaining grace, the past week would be considered as nothing.  Last Thursday during the junctions, I was so blessed to have shared to the praise and worship team on how grateful I am for God's unfailing grace. I am actually the kind of person whose level of appreciation goes one notch higher if I get to share and voice out how grateful I am for a particular thing. I wish to really own this feeling in my heart so i figured that maybe I could share it here too!

I have been hearing the statement "I thank the Lord for even though, I fail to put Him first in my day, fail to serve Him, fail to follow Him, His grace and love still remains steadfast and unfailing" a thousand time from different people (Oh that's too much, maybe a hundred? to be realistic. haha) and I honestly could tell that even though I'm bobbing my head as I hear it, the statement gets old and really familiar that it becomes ordinary. But the difference comes when the statement stops on being something that you hear but becomes something you personally could boldly declare.

I am not a perfect Christian. I struggle here and there in my walk with the Lord. I don't have a perfect attendance on my appointments with Him (my comfort always gets in the way), I don't also have a perfect attendance on my cell group meetings, I barely talk to him in between the minutes of my day, the world and its things look bright and beautiful to me and the things that are eternal aren't always what I consider as the most important, BUT though my life is perfectly imperfect, I am in total awe that I, though so unworthy have witnessed His unfailing grace and love every single day. 

Grace isn't just something that's so light as - "we receive from the Lord", but it's as heavy as - "something that we receive despite our unworthiness, all from the abundance of God's perfect love for us".

All praises to the God who is good and is love in His nature. 

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third milk tea for this month ._. 

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experiencing the longest 7 hours of my life every Saturday. (well, 7 hours is really long though. hahaha) ._. push!

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at least we got one crashed out from our long bucket list. MILK TEA. Sundate afternoon with beloved duty mates #InternshipDiaries