papernghosts

[papernghosts]

They're all screaming, and grabbing at you. And they all matter, but it's never going to be enough. You will never have enough hands, enough heart, enough of you.

-my poem

[papernghosts]

flowers like thoughts

Some thoughts are like weeds, but most are more like

tiny flowers in the sides of the path giving color to the dry and dreary road, so you musn’t kill them - and they musn’t grow because they’ll take over and loot your brain, they’ll kill their host, your biosphere will be polluted, magic will be in peril to be lost beautiful to lose control! but this is simply a deviation, straying, confusion no light, no Sun

and they play with me, I play with them your thought comes - a tiny flower in my road and that’s the way it must roll and that’s the way it must go some thoughts are weeds others are dormant roses you have to feed just follow your guts because else you’ll never know which is which

[papernghosts]

whatever you do, keep making art. write in clichés. paint in colours that are too bright. speak in poetry. sketch everything. allow yourself to make mistakes. grow. hold tight to it when everything goes wrong - whatever else happens, you’ll always have the art.

[papernghosts]

A small list of things to love today:

[papernghosts]

Sleeping pills and summer rashes. Sweat mixed with tears mixed with snot mixed with body glitter. Jumping to catch imaginary red balloons. Landing on sandpaper. Spreading arms wide and waiting to feel the warmth and rush of the person you love against you. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Arms heavy as rock and then they drop. Disappointment after disappointment. Look into a mirror? No, jump 11 steps west of the blame game. Then? Then what just hydrate. Look for a patch of cool grass. Undress and lie still. Look up at the clouds. There are no shapes. There is no meaning. Nobody is around. Nobody will peak. Nobody will paint you all shades of shame and guilt. Finally you can relax your face. Drop your shoulders. Tumble around. Attempt cartwheels. When you fall, the earth will take a second from its rotation and hug you. Nobody notices that second. Do you?

[papernghosts]

[papernghosts]

writing poetry is like *highly personalized metaphor* *nonsensical* *nonsensical* *string of words shaken out of a box* *reference* *nonsensical again*

[papernghosts]

So maybe I don’t have new writing to post because I’ve been busy with stories for my coursework and long manuscripts and a lot of the poems I’ve been writing recently are things I like enough to want to save to submit to places BUT I do have various shop updates! 

On my Ko-fi shop, I now have:

PDF/EPUB copies of two of my sapphic zine pieces: The Skies Between Us, about a moon deity and a sun deity who are in love, and Drifting, about a distraught daughter of the sea who’s isolated herself from the world until she saves someone who’s washed up on her shores. Both of these pieces were previously on my gumroad under my old username, but these digital versions have been updated with my new handles and are 99 cents each (you get both the EPUB and PDF files with one purchase)

Various crafts! Currently this consists of several different bracelets and dice bags (with one dice bag that comes with a dice set! this will probably be the only bag I ever sell that comes with a matching set because I used to go around comic/games shops digging through loose dice bins to put together sets but I’m no longer living somewhere with shops I can go for that and also... covid). (rn shipping is only available within the US and will probably stay that way for a while). (I have a lot of string and yarn and I’m currently working on photographing all of it so I can set up a sort of color reference sheet for commissions, but if you’d like a bracelet/dice bag in specific colors, feel free to shoot me a message somewhere to see if I have what you’re looking for! prices will be similar to items already listed in my shop, with a longer turnaround time so I can make it for you)

And on my Redbubble, I’ve put some some new doodles up that you can see above, and there’s some odd old fandom designs and book-related things from my bookstagram things, if that sounds like something you’re into. (And the three designs I have above are also in my new Threadless shop, if that floats your boat more than RB)

I’m currently saving up to get a keyboard so I can make my desk situation a little more comfortable with how much time I spend typing at my computer since I was already doing a lot of writing and now literally all of my work is online, so any support is appreciated! (Also, back to the ko-fi note, if you buy me a coffee and leave a prompt of some sort, I’ll write a short drabble for it similar to the writing you can see here)

I don’t know if tumblr still kills posts where things are linked but oh well we’ll see

[papernghosts]

pharaonic (adj.):

the way the love we constructed in our heads is far grander than the love that lives in our hearts will ever be

i told you this home was too big for two, though what’s one more pretty shell to put between the world’s eyes and distance between us?

ko-fi // instagram

[papernghosts]

FIND WONDER IN EVERYTHING YOU BASTARDS

[papernghosts]

A Hymn for Losing Power During February Whiteouts

Last night your dreams were drenched in violence and tongues burnt on hot tea. Closed windows aren’t enough to keep you warm, so you sit up in bed and write down a wish for winter’s swift closing. 

When I say you I mean me, I mean the stutterings held in caught breath, I mean the prayers I hear every night in the rooms around me, words whispered to a pine scotch saint hanging temptingly out of reach. 

The ground has not melted once this season, our god’s sleep bearing hands passed over closed eyes and cold skin. And we have nothing to do but follow the rabbit prints into the woods, hoping they will lead us to the soothing we seek.

In the deepest clearings the snow has calcified into ice and animal bones and when I slip you tell me death will be an adventure. I swallow and say I hope the frost melts soon. When I fall behind in the snowdrifts something inside me splinters like the branches of the trees we duck under, something like white fir and icicles hesitant to melt under my swollen hands.

I have lost sight of you now and have only the imprints of your lilac-laced boots to follow, the wintergreen gum in my mouth slowly hardening as my teeth grow colder, as my hair turns the fog grey of the clouds that carry in each blizzard. Years later I return to this clearing, I look for where I slipped, and hope your adventure was a soft one.

[inspired by the @inkstay february prompt #5 ❄♡]

[papernghosts]

forget slow burn romance, give me slow burn found family. give me enemies to friends to siblings. tired, weary old mentors learning to live again for their plucky young apprentices. heroes sharing apartments after world saving adventures because they’re so used to living with each other. dramatic “oh shit” moments where one gets kidnapped and the other realizes “god, that’s my kid.” i want to sit and watch in agony for thirty chapters while two idiots slowly adopt each other, someone get on it

[papernghosts]

and one day i’ll return to them unfold memories and words never said from days spent holding affection close before I learned how to share it

and tell you fully how, despite myself, I fell only to find you ready to catch me after all

[papernghosts]

[papernghosts]

handsel

anything you could give me for the journey on the road ahead is welcome, but nothing more so than the promise that this isn’t where you leave me, that we’ll take these next steps together, for as long as we can

[papernghosts]

carpe diem

This year I want to remember to enjoy the sunlight and its heat on my skin, the days when the sky is the bluest of blues and we try to find castles sitting in clouds drifting by, want to hold on to it all while I can

if we know anything now it’s that tomorrow’s sunny days are never guaranteed, that the plans we make are never as well laid as we thought, so when the storm comes to wash everything away, maybe I’ll go dance in the rain, and live for the todays we’re given instead of the tomorrows we may never get.

[papernghosts]

Hello! End of the year, end of an old account, the start of a new one - I'm @elvishwritings, but in the interest of having my usernames matching across multiple platforms instead of having to use multiple variants + also being able to interact with things with this @ instead of having my main username show up in peoples’ notifs, I’m starting over again with a new page and a new handle!

Like my old blog, this account will be

mostly writing/assorted storytelling related things

snippets of my own things but probably lots of reblogs lol

I don’t normally post a lot of things from my current long writing projects but I’ve been doing near-daily short poems/snippets of stories on the recommendation of a professor so I’ll probably be posting a lot of these even though I’m mostly working on prose things

I personally like writing fantasy/sci-fi with YA contemporary mixed in for fun and there usually ends up being a good amount of wlw content lol, but I like reading a little but of everything

potentially the odd craft project

some doodles/handlettering

a little bit of music, though I finish up music projects at an absolute snail’s pace so maybe not that much of this one 

So... yes. I’m going to eventually get around to following back all the writeblr accounts I did on my other account once I have a moment to sit down and find everyone in the midst of all the non-writeblr accounts I follow, and I’m always looking to find more writeblrs so if you interact with this post in some way or follow then I’ll be sure to check you out and follow! Happy new year!!