paperhermits

[paperhermits]

for once in my life i have never felt more useful. i just tracked down a TUMBLR FIC. for smone else. and i happened to know it... im. i feel so smart

[paperhermits]

Hi okay feel free to ignore this but I'm desperately looking for a fic and you're one of the only authors that I follow that might know what I'm talking about. It was a yandere batfam fic (I believe platonic) that starts with the reader working in a call center and the computer spitting out Bruce's number which shouldn't be possible because it was wiped from databases to avoid security breaches. Reader freaks out and promises not to call again but then Bruce ends up calling them everyday for the next little while until they run into each other in the wild(?) And Bruce strong arms them into going for coffee. While out the boys crash their meeting and reader starts to get overwhelmed. I'm missing some in between details but I know that Bruce pretended to be waaaaayyy less rich than he is and hid his name, the reader lived in kind of a shitty area of town and everyone hated it except them. There was a scene with them where Damian texts them from someone else's phone to lure them to the apartment because they had been avoiding everyone.

It's been so long since I read it and I could have sworn I had reblogged it but I can't find it in my records!! If this breaks a rule I missed somewhere or is too weird of a request that you share the author if you know it I totally get it I just am at a loss for what to do 😭😭

I have not read that fic but now I want to read it!!! Before I go on break I hope we both can find this fic!!! Chestnuts, I seek your knowledge!!

[paperhermits]

“Tim literally has beef with a 10-year-old. He’s ten, a teenager shouldn’t have beef with him.”

Have you met a ten-year-old? As someone who has three brothers who have all been ten-year-olds, it’s difficult not to have beef with your ten-year-old siblings. Even if you love them.

They look sweet, but they’re old enough to weaponize that. In truth, many ten-year-olds are demonic gremlins, assassin training or not. They have a concept of personal space…but they don’t care about yours. They thrive on attention, and often negative attention from siblings is entertaining to them. You try not to have beef against someone who knows you hate being touched, especially without warning, but will still sneak up on you and poke you in the back. Because you not feeling safe is funny.

Demonic. Gremlins.

(This is mostly a joke, but…yeah. Having beef with your ten-year-old gremlin of a brother is totally normal, even if he didn’t try to murder you. You can love a sibling and still have beef with them.)

[paperhermits]

I can’t remember which fic it was but there was this timkon fic that had a part in Dicks pov and was something like

“In some fucked up way Dick was glad that kon was the one to die not Tim because looking at how kon was reacting to him missing if Tim died in his grief Superboy would have destroyed a large part if not most of the planet because of his despair”

And ever since ive needed a fic like this but there’s a lack of dark timkon fics that are based around grief where kons the fucked up one but like guys i need this so bad

[paperhermits]

^my take on the tommyinnit french hating discourse

[paperhermits]

You're not immune to being the bully btw. You're not immune to being in the wrong

[paperhermits]

Would love for pops to tear into Bruce. Absolutely destroy any shred of confidence. Also him withholding info and pictures of reader from fam.

-🐈

Reader doesn’t have any of their pictures or documentation in the manor, Pops has all of our baby pics, our childhood art, documentation, everything is stored at Pops’ house. He has this picture of reader on their 3rd birthday covered in cake bc little reader was left unsupervised around the cake for 5 minutes.

It’s his prized possession

[paperhermits]

Danny has been cornered by the justice League who have finally learned about a teenage hero operating unmonitored in a small town. They want him to join young Justice or Teen titans or some other group and they want to assign him a mentor to learn from and Danny’s confused

“I already have a mentor,” he tells them. But they don’t believe him. They think he’s lying so they’ll go away.

Eventually after some back and forth he huffs and says. “Fine I’ll ask if I can join your little club or not.” Not even a second later a green sticky note pops into existence and flutters down before Danny snatches it from the air.

A quick laugh before he flips it over “Clocky says no. Sorry. Now kindly get out of my city before someone thinks it would be ‘cute. To possess you and attack me.”

[paperhermits]

Also, the fact that Bruce is trying to make himself be appealing to MC only for it to not work. Especially, when he starts to look like her ideal guy, making MC sus.

Oh definitely, MC feels like he’s lying to their face each time he tries to make himself more appealing to them, like bro, I know you don’t style your hair like that, your face has been on the front page of the newspaper and multiple magazines for years, don’t lie to me

Mc starts lying to him in return,

“I love guys who dye their hair Fanta orange”

“Idk, something about bald guys, you know?”

“If he doesn’t have an eyepatch I don’t want him”

[paperhermits]

Well it's a bit late, but here are the 2024 Tumblr memes as per usual

We have to kill this guy

Ever since I was a little girl

Tumblr Live's beautiful death

Car hammer explosion

Walrus or Fairy

Oobh I got Planty off time

Tumblr Brackets again (hot vintage poll, 60s/70s/90s/2000s music tourney)

Boop war

Friendpilled Visitmaxxer

I don't know/I'm bald

King Charles Portrait

The White Pharoah

Hey Girl, I mean They

Dashconiversary

Trump got shot

Cloudstrike

I guess we're making factory

Mikus of the world

Moo Deng

Making my bf as a cookie

Za/um break up

Boop War 2

The Healthcare CEO Assassination

[paperhermits]

JL meets the Batfam AU

Thinking nightwing and the bat are together addition:

Okay so there are a few fics out there where the Justice League think that Nightwing and Batman are together. There are sum where they play into for kicks and giggles and some where once the bat fam find out they put stop to it.

Okay but what about one where once the JL finally confront them about it the bat fam just kinda sits there and stares at them with a mixture of shock and discuss. The JL continues to talk about their theory about the two being together until Nightwing whines “… Daaaaaaaad make them stop” with some amount of horror mixed into his voice

This gets the JL to finally stop and look at the two people and really look at them.

Cue the chaos and rapid fire apologies before an angry bat gives them a well deserved lecturer

[paperhermits]

I believe. I. A.E. has been so invested in Talia Al Ghul so I will submit my own What if :33

What if Talia met reader and became very fond of reader enough that she secretly and oftenly looks/seeks out reader as she is in the care of bruce. Talia essentially becoming and gaining the title of 'Mom' from reader <33

-A.E. 👻

I don't want to go too deep into my response because something like this happens in the original timeline of UnFair.

Buuut I can’t help but laugh at the idea of Talia appearing in random shadowy spots around the mansion.

Like when Tim goes to grab his third cup of coffee for the night and suddenly notices a pair of eyes staring at him from the darkness. He turns on the light, and nothing’s there. He turns it off, and there they are again. Turns it back on—poof, gone. My boy decides he's had enough coffee for today.

Or Steph spending time in the backyard, only to start hearing rustling sounds coming from random, far-apart spots in the bushes. Then, when a shadow darts dangerously close to her at lightning speed, she bolts straight to Cass.

Or Jason, casually walking through the mansion halls, when he spots Talia holding you in her arms like a baby. He steps back to make sure he’s not hallucinating, but when he checks again, you’re already in your bed, doing something entirely unrelated. Internally, he makes a mental note to stop taking weed from Roy.

For her part, Talia finds it hilarious to mess with everyone and drive them paranoid, but she always makes sure to do it far from Bruce, Cass, or Damian. They're far more perceptive than the others, so the risk of being caught is much higher.

As for you, she’s thrilled to monopolize most of your affection. Your family’s neglect benefits her in many ways, and she has no problem intervening to make sure it stays that way. If, in the original timeline, Alfred is the one subtly sabotaging your attempts to get noticed, in this timeline, it’s Talia doing all of that—but on a much larger scale. Enough to keep things as they are until your new living arrangements in her home are ready.

She can’t wait to take you far away from the family that ignored you and shower you with all kinds of luxury and love.

Damian still has a lot to learn from his father, so he’ll join them later.

She’s certain you’ll make an excellent Al Ghul. ❤️

[paperhermits]

I did this to help illustrate a point I'm making in a different post, but I feel it's relevant above and beyond that specific context.

[paperhermits]

My ideal aesthetic is what I'm calling "sexy tomboy". That is to say, I am 100% femme through and through, but I want to look like what a straight man's idea of a "masculine woman" is. I wanna be masc in the way that LaCroix is fruit flavored, just a little extra something to make things a little more interesting

[paperhermits]

Everyone Wants to Be Tim Drake’s Favorite Brother

Being Tim Drake’s favorite isn’t just about bragging rights—it’s about power, perks, and an almost supernatural level of protection.

It starts with the little things. Tim isn’t one for grand gestures, but when he cares about someone, it’s obvious. He listens—really listens—to the small comments, the things others might forget. That offhand remark about a snack you miss? Tim’s already on his way to get it for you. Complaining that your suit’s not fitting quite right? Tim’s hands-on with upgrades by morning. If you're Tim’s favorite, it’s a constant stream of thoughtful gestures. Gear gets upgraded, favorite books and gadgets mysteriously show up, and Tim’s always thinking of how he can make your life easier.

But being Tim’s favorite is more than just gifts. It’s the way Tim treats you, the way he prioritizes you over everything else. Tim listens when you vent, has your back during arguments, even when you’re wrong, and somehow—somehow—he gets Bruce to listen to you more than anyone else.

Bruce listens to everyone, of course. He’s the Bat. But when Tim speaks, it’s different. Bruce doesn’t just hear Tim—he acts. Whether it’s adjusting mission plans, reevaluating tactics, or considering Gotham’s crime trends. He’ll mention something, and suddenly, Bruce is shifting his approach. No one else seems to have that pull over him. Tim has a way of cutting through Bruce’s stubbornness that no one else can match. It’s not lost on anyone that when you’re Tim’s favorite, Bruce seems to listen to you more, too.

And then, there’s the most dangerous perk of all: Tim’s wrath.

Everyone in Gotham has learned to fear the consequences of hurting anyone Tim cares about. They all remember how Janet Drake, Tim’s mother, was exactly the same. Janet didn’t just love fiercely; she made people fear the consequences of betraying her affection. She’d build strong alliances and maintain an iron grip on them, ensuring no one dared to harm those she called her own. She had a reputation for turning the tables in ways that left lasting marks on Gotham’s criminals, so it’s no surprise that Tim inherited the same instincts. The last time one of his favorites got hurt in Gotham, the Rogue responsible learned the hard way that crossing a Drake isn’t something you do lightly. That night, the Rogue barely escaped with his life, and the damage he caused was felt across Gotham for weeks.

The rumors from that time still make the rounds. Red Robin hunted that Rogue down, dismantling supply lines and ruining their operations in ways no one else could, using connections no one could have anticipated for him to have. He sent a message—a warning—one that still echoes through Gotham’s criminal world. After that, the Rogues were far more cautious when it came to hurting anyone Red Robin seemed particularly attached to.

These days, the Rogues are more careful. If they can see who Tim’s favorite is, they back off. Patrols get easier. The punches are pulled. The threats don’t carry the same weight. It's almost comical. Once, Jason caught Riddler mid-riddle and swore he saw him glance over his shoulder like he was checking for something—and then mutter, “Not worth it,” before retreating.

Of course, everyone’s gotten a taste of these perks at some point.

Jason remembers his time as Tim’s favorite. When he first came back, Tim went above and beyond. His gear was upgraded constantly, his safehouses were restocked with his favorite things, and there were custom modifications to everything. Tim even managed to reclaim all his old safehouses from the GCPD archives with no problem. Jason never openly admitted it, but he savored every moment. It felt good to be cared for like that.

Cass had it too when she struggled to reconnect with the family. Tim stuck close, quietly offering his support—whether it was with training or just sitting together. She didn’t ask for a suit upgrade, just mentioned how bulky it was in passing, and Tim designed a new one for her the following week, fitting it perfectly to her style. And as for the Rogues? They couldn't run away fast enough when she showed up.

Right now, they all suspect Duke to be the favorite. Tim’s always inviting him to collaborate on tech projects or sharing valuable intel. And Duke has started receiving gifts that seem to show up at just the right moment—books, custom gadgets, and even the occasional throwback cereal he mentioned in passing. Tim’s also been there for him every step of the way, making sure he’s always in the loop, collaborating on projects, and taking the time to make Duke feel seen.

“You know,” Duke said one night, stirring his soup casually, “Scarecrow’s been weirdly quiet lately.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Jason said with a raised eyebrow. “What did you do?”

Duke blinked. “Nothing.”

Jason shot Tim a look. “What did you do?”

Tim’s smirk was all the answer Jason needed.

And that’s the thing—being Tim’s favorite isn’t just about attention or gear. It’s about something more. It’s about protection. Once you’re Tim’s favorite, the world seems like it can’t touch you. And everyone knows it.

They’ve all had their time as Tim’s favorite. Jason, Cass, even Damian had his moment. But once you’re no longer the favorite, it’s hard not to crave it again.

Jason lingers in the Batcave, pretending to talk about his gear but subtly hinting at upgrades Tim could add to it.

Damian scoffs at the idea of being prioritized, but Tim catches him comparing his gear to Duke’s own, new and improved gear, muttering to himself, “It’s adequate,” like it’s an insult.

Dick tries to remain above it all—he’s the eldest, after all. He doesn’t need Tim’s attention. But when he sees Tim working behind the scenes, tinkering with Duke’s gear or offering an unexpected assist to Jason, there’s that ache of longing for when he was the center of Tim’s world.

In the end, they’ll never say it, but every single one of them secretly wants to be Tim’s favorite. Because when Tim Drake decides you’re his favorite, you’re not just cared for—you’re protected and given an unwavering loyalty that makes you feel untouchable in Gotham.

And in Gotham, where danger is always close, nothing is more powerful than the protection and devotion of a Drake.

[paperhermits]

next week being christmas feels fake but okay

[paperhermits]

Dick: You have a brother?? Is he Talia and Bruce’s too?

Damian: Of course, we share the same parentage after all.

Tim: How old is he?

Damian: He says it reset after he went into the Lazarus pit. So he’s 3.

(Bruce is in the background blue screening that he has another child with Talia that he didn’t know about.)

——-

3 years ago

——

Damian: How old are you?

Jason, unsure if he can count those 6 months in the ground: I’m a few days, cause I went into the Lazarus pit and it went back to 0.