pages-of-love

[pages-of-love]

A year can change a lot.

If i look back a year from today, everything feels faded, almost disappearing into thick mist.

We were so innocent. We were so young, so in love. Now? It's tragic. But almost beautiful. Not entirely because, no matter how much I wish those scars fade into my skin, they're still angry. They're bruised and ugly.

Almost. Almost beautiful. Love does that, doesn't it. It taints everything pink. Almost beautiful because you're still mine.. fragments, bits and pieces of you live in me. Almost beautiful because I'd still give myself to you. Almost beautiful because even though time has changed, I'll still pray to my lucky stars to keep you safe. Almost. Because theres beauty in loving someone, more than yourself, even if its from a distance. But that's okay. It's sad, its tragic. It's hard. But it's ok.

:)

-k

[pages-of-love]

some part of me must've died, the last time that you called me baby

some part of me came alive, the first time you called me baby

- hozier, first time

[pages-of-love]

You and I are standing this very second, at the meeting place of two eternities: the vast past that has endured forever, and the future that is plunging on to the last syllable of recorded time. We can't possibly live in either of those eternities- no, not even for one split second. But by trying to do so, we can wreck both our bodies and our minds. So let's be content to live the only time we can possibly live: from now until bedtime.

- Dale Carnegie

[pages-of-love]

“in the future . . . if by some miracle you ever find yourself in the position to fall in love again . . . fall in love with me.”

-Colleen Hoover, it ends with us

[pages-of-love]

we don't read and write poetry because it's cute. we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. and the human race is filled with passion. and medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life.

but poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

-dead poets society

[pages-of-love]

"he flicks his hand to the back of his neck. for such gesture one falls hopelessly in love for a lifetime"

- virginia woolf

[pages-of-love]

its the harder days, i feel more poetic. my thoughts intoxicate me with the words that somehow sound bruised yet beautiful, like all the pained cries are suddenly calling out my name, all the secrets hidden deep within are mine to let out. suddenly everything has a deaper meaning and there's so much to do and so less time and i am just but one person in desperate need to lay it all out before everything goes black.

but on the other days, there's just me, a body, just fragments of thoughts and barely any words.

and it makes me wonder,

in the end,

is it pain that makes me more human?

-k.

[pages-of-love]

"If I were in heaven, Nelly, I should be extremely miserable."

"Because you are not fit to go there, all sinners would be miserable in heaven."

-wuthering heights

[pages-of-love]

When Blair Waldorf said, " He's devastated me but he's also made me happier than I've ever been " , I thought to myself, how someone could mistaken toxic love for something so pure and real. But there was a difference, wasn't there? Toxic love makes you lose sight of who you are. Toxic love strips you to your insecurities and lays them bare. Toxic love doesn't give the comfort of home. Toxic love is like hurricane on a house of cards. But then you see, she also said, " It takes more than even Chuck Bass to ruin me." Maybe thats why we fell for them. Because they both had their own grounds. And it was love, it takes time, it takes war too. But it's fighting against all odds. And maybe thats why their story is iconic.

-k.

[pages-of-love]

i wonder why things would ever fall into place if we are so humanly flawed. perhaps with time, you'll see, this is how it was always meant to be. there's no 'perfect', but there are flaws. little cracks and crevices, little holes and faint scars, there are poems, words, and literature, and heavy sighs, and also maybe dew drops and snow, maybe a ray of sunshine after rain. maybe even rainbows arched, as the sky starts clearing up. maybe even the stars. and most definitely you and i

[pages-of-love]

is it oceans

that puts this distance

between us

or is it maybe

just the loss of words?

[pages-of-love]

" but when we sit together, close,

we melt into each other.

we are edged with mist.

we make an unsubstantial territory. "

- virginia woolf , the waves

[pages-of-love]

me and you?

it's a bad idea,

but i've never wanted anything more.

[pages-of-love]

and perhaps you spend nights alone,

wondering who picked the stars

and placed them in the sky,

but only, if they were closer,

and you stay up watching them,

wondering if they ever felt alone ,

if shooting stars and twinkles

are just pretense,

to hide all that burning anger,

broken soul, and uncried tears,

but then you think,

isn't that everything that you are.

-k.

[pages-of-love]

what did we have ,that I was so afraid to lose?

what did you have, that made me come back to you every single time?

what did we mean, when we said those words?

what was it ,that wasn't enough, we kept falling apart?

-k.

[pages-of-love]

worries, dead roses and wine.

-k.

[pages-of-love]

i still remember the day you stuck out your pinky, linked our fingers together, pulled me closer to you, you looked me in my eyes, my grey clashing your blue, if only we could see the disaster we were, storms and tornadoes were our thing.  the quietest whisper you said the three words i was so afraid to hear. because once you’ve said it there’s no going back. we were filled with passion in our veins but our hearts only knew destruction. because that day i didn’t say it back. the three syllables, it surrounded us, but it was choking me. you pressed your forehead against mine, and we stood there just breathing, the sound of my heartbeat resonated in me, you said it again, but it felt like a complete sentence. just that. but now, i’m standing here in front of you, wondering what we’d be if i said it, or what we wouldn't be. it seems that wondering doesn’t let us live, sometimes, taking the risk does. so i held out my pinky and you linked it with yours and i placed it on your chest. the ocean and the sky don’t wait for each other, but once they collide, they make themselves invincible. I love you.

-k.