p0v2snsitive4thintnet

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SO I made this video - as an outcome of this project - hope you enjoy girlies :)

I used the editing process as a room for memoing and analysis of my autoethnography, a technique I hope to use and extend upon later projects.

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VIDEO-LINKS / ARCHIVE / COLLECTION

Reflections 🪞 / Feelings This feels very Tumblr-esque to me. Lana del Rey is just classic Tumblr-core, as well as the strips on the sides. It feels rather innocent and light to me, compared to other girl-blogger content which is more about the dark sides of girlhood and what one has to endure. It feels as if it was more about the aesthetics than the political implications of this community. Not really saying much - just vibes. 

Descriptive notes 📝  ⇨ Visual  Analysis + Multimodality Youtube Video. 1:30 min long. Posted from account “faye”, on the 14th of May 2024. The titel of the video is “₊˚⊹ are you girlblogging again? ໒꒱⋆. ultimate girl-blog 👩🏻‍💻 ₊˚⊹ ♡”. The background music is the song “driving in cars with boys” by Lana Del Rey. The structure of the video is basically a loop of a slideshow of girlblogger memes and one short clip of Lana del Rey sitting in a car and sticking out her tung and middle finger to the camera. On the side-edges of the video a mostly light pink collage, looking like a decorative strip with roses, bows and parts of lace dollies has been added.

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𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕯𝖚𝖒𝖕 #3

Who am I speaking as? Where am I speaking from? 

I think I have to say this in order for this project to feel genuine. I have been struggling with my femininity a lot in the last couple of weeks and months.

I enjoy being in this world of pinkness and glitter where its all about lipgloss and how much you can gloat inside your bedroom - I relate to this experience a lot. Especially when I’m thinking of my early twenties. Maybe I could have needed some of the girlblogger memes back than, to have an outlet for all these overwhelming emotions I felt and did not know where to put. Would I have realised how this is a very common experience with many living the white, privileged girl life? And would I’ve been able to laugh about it / learn about the nuances of this experience and by that be empowered to own and live my life with more consciousness and space for ambivalence? 

Probably not… But we will never know. 

Nevertheless a lot has changed since then. It doesn’t feel like as if I am rejecting my girlness right now. I just distanced myself from it a little. I still enjoy saving, curating and working with girlblogger and girlie materials but are they still a genuine part of my identity? Doesn’t feel like it. Maybe that’s also why I connect girlhood with nostalgia and past feelings rather than with what my experience is right now. I understand perfectly what these memes are communicating, but I can’t claim to still be in a situation where I am completely immersed in their vibe.

On the other hand, the political implications they are opening up, affect me very much until this day. I am after all a female-identifying person and my appearance reflects that still very much. 

So where am I speaking from? 

Probably as a veteran of “the girl online”. As someone who grew up with the internet and blogs and myspace and Tumblr and was always hoping for something like “girlbloggers” to come up. This project is probably also a way for me to relate to and make up with my younger self. Forgive her for everything that happened that is and was connected to the experience of girlhood and that is still loaded with a lot of self-shaming for me until this day. Maybe by creating this girlblogger content I can finally make piece with my girlie girl inside me and move on. 

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MEMO for BD #2: It makes sense now why I am connecting it to earlier times. 

The whole girlblogger community of today are connecting a lot of their aesthetic choices with features and attributes and moments that can be  traced back to the 2010s. No one really uses blogs nowadays, still it’s called “girlblogger” and not “girl-creator" like "meme creators” or “girl-page” like “meme-page”. It probably has to do with what “blogs” were used for some years ago, especially what Tumblr blogs were used for. -> Platform Affordances Tiidenberg. 

-> is this the reason for Tumblrs rise right now? 

-> Do girlbloggers wish for a more expressive, more individual social media? Like Myspace was? A space where one has more freedom and is able to express themselves more freely? 

-> Tumblr added a feature to their desktop version that is very similar to what one was able to do with their myspace page.

2. MEMO for BD#2 Webcore

I think the next gen of Inet artists is coming up -> cycle starting again with webcore -> bringing all the good things about WEB2.0 to the forefront again, that may have been discarded in the stream of innovation that maybe went to far to fast. A lot got lost - #webcore brings it back again.

𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕯𝖚𝖒𝖕 #2

Girlblogger vs. Scene Girl Coquette Aesthetics meets Myspace Emo Themes Contemporary Vibes with Nostalgia Feels

My Work …. Well I think I was a little bit lost until now. 

I would not know what to focus on really. This project feels very personal to me in a sense. I think I can never just not involve myself and my personal story when I am researching a certain situation especially not when I am working on it artistically. Fortunately that isn’t the task here at all haha. The distance. Its more about the depth of the situation and about how far I want to insert and involve myself into this sub-genres, how much I want to remember or leave behind. 

I made a first version of my video and it somehow just featured Scene Girl Etiquette which I would have admired in my preteen-times. Maybe I am connecting this new Girl-Blogger genre with my own experiences of being a girl online, which started when I was about 10 or 11. It all began with myspace and Facebook. Social Media mainly functioned for me as a way to show of my serious emo-inspired custom themes on my myspace-page, where my top friends changed probably every week or so (carrying the drama to IRL and school) and to play silly little games on Facebook and to post about it, if you needed extra XP for your Fishtank in Happy Aquarium. 

I am channeling this younger self right now to get into the spirit and hype of wholeheartedly following and admiring something. To a certain point of obsession. Here is where I draw the connection to Fan Edits and Fan Studies actually. 

Like the creator in the “how to girlblog” mentions, its a community and everyone is nice to each other. Although I have the feeling that’s not necessarily always true, her saying that represents how some of the individuals consuming and producing this content feel. Like they are sharing sentiments, feelings and a way of living with each other, by starring at, creating and relating to the same text plastered on pictures of thin, “ethereal-looking” celebrities with something pink in it. 

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𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕯𝖚𝖒𝖕 #2

Girlblogger vs. Scene Girl Coquette Aesthetics meets Myspace Emo Themes Contemporary Vibes with Nostalgia Feels

My Work …. Well I think I was a little bit lost until now. 

I would not know what to focus on really. This project feels very personal to me in a sense. I think I can never just not involve myself and my personal story when I am researching a certain situation especially not when I am working on it artistically. Fortunately that isn’t the task here at all haha. The distance. Its more about the depth of the situation and about how far I want to insert and involve myself into this sub-genres, how much I want to remember or leave behind. 

I made a first version of my video and it somehow just featured Scene Girl Etiquette which I would have admired in my preteen-times. Maybe I am connecting this new Girl-Blogger genre with my own experiences of being a girl online, which started when I was about 10 or 11. It all began with myspace and Facebook. Social Media mainly functioned for me as a way to show of my serious emo-inspired custom themes on my myspace-page, where my top friends changed probably every week or so (carrying the drama to IRL and school) and to play silly little games on Facebook and to post about it, if you needed extra XP for your Fishtank in Happy Aquarium. 

I am channeling this younger self right now to get into the spirit and hype of wholeheartedly following and admiring something. To a certain point of obsession. Here is where I draw the connection to Fan Edits and Fan Studies actually. 

Like the creator in the “how to girlblog” mentions, its a community and everyone is nice to each other. Although I have the feeling that’s not necessarily always true, her saying that represents how some of the individuals consuming and producing this content feel. Like they are sharing sentiments, feelings and a way of living with each other, by starring at, creating and relating to the same text plastered on pictures of thin, “ethereal-looking” celebrities with something pink in it. 

[p0v2snsitive4thintnet]

Visual Analysis / Interpretation

Forensic Visual Description

White background, shows an animated, read as female figure with white long hair in a white dress with white flowers printed on it. They seem to be wearing white thighs or stockings. Their eyes are dark and surrounded with long lashes. Their bangs are short and frame their face. The figure is lying on their stomach on no subsurface, just on white, empty space. Their feet are crossed and held up in the air. Over the figure is a layer of black cursive text in a handwritten kind of font. It says “Too sensitive for the internet”. The text isn’t centred in the picture but consists of 3, centre-aligned lines, edging the left margin of the image. 

On the Platform Pinterest. 27 comments, 490 hearts. By the user “esther sweetheart” - the comments are mostly affirming the statement the meme makes. Comments are partly made with reaction memes. 

https://at.pinterest.com/pin/239183430202433621/

REFLECTIONS

This describes perfectly how I feel as a girl online. It’s hard to describe why though. It’s probably linked to mental health issues being linked to online / social media interaction, which can be cruel often times. I feel not resilient enough to experience the deepest, darkest spheres the internet has to offer. Hell I have never felt comfortable on 4chan - ever. Still I am going on that site from time to time to expose myself to the hate and bullying there. Why would I do that? Like the girl in the picture - I can sense that I am actually loosing more than I am gaining from this experiences, but I also know that I can’t stop doing it. That would mean exclusion. No edginess, no laughs and not being “that one girl” who browses on the infamous internet’s hells. It would also mean that all content I get could be described by Bo Burnhams song “white woman’s instagram” and that sounds even more like hell tbh. At least it would be boring a.f.

FEELINGS

This is where I start with this project. It is a meme I encountered while researching for my last project and it stuck with me ever since. I view it as a piece of media that ignited a lot of the thoughts and questions I am looking into right now. How are girls viewed on the internet? How are their reactions/ their creations/ their contributions to the online discourse differ from other content? How does “The girl online” present and perform herself?  

QUESTIONS

Where else can the phenomenon of not feeling save on the internet as a girl be perceived? In which types of media? On which platforms? Does this relate only to GIRLs online? Why do I have this feeling? 

Intertextuality

Their mouth is closed. Which makes them non-speaking in this picture. This brings up the question if the text of the meme is layered over them because it is referring to them and is attributed to the figure by an external source. Or if they are presenting themselves as being “too sensitive for the internet”. 

I think this question is important to ask oneself when trying to understand the intertextual layers of this meme. 

"Lolly" teenage girl lying on tummy position

The above picture of summer from OC California was the first thing that came to my mind when thinking about the pose of the figure in the image. A teenager, relaxing in their bed. 

This pose is very familiar to me. I think I did it as a girl / young woman as part of gender performance and to cater to the male gaze. 

Examples of this are also often found in anime. Especially in the “lolly” genre. 

Combined with the white clothing, the normative, western interpretation for this motive would be, to hint at the characters innocence, naivety and categorise them as a lolita-esce type. White is often associated with purity.

Angelic Girlbloggers

I was also thinking about relations to Angels, Fairies and other ethereal creatures. Girlbloggers often like to associate themselves with these kind of fictional characters, just like the one from the meme I am looking at right now.

How can/does this relate to my project? 

What are the aspects of this image that I want to transport within my own art? 

Can I view this meme as a 

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𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕯𝖚𝖒𝖕 #1

Too sensitive for the Internet’s judgement

I feel like as if I am well suited for autoethnographies. It feels so easy for me to not pre-analyse myself and just stick to putting down my genuine, uncorrupted thoughts and primal feelings. Although I often don’t trust my own feelings and judge them before feeling them. Like not letting myself be sad for example, because being sad is supposed to be a waste of time and something most people are not interested in.

This doesn’t stem from researching as you (the reader) can imagine - I believe it is linked to my general lack of self confidence and me wanting to protect myself from disappointing someone else by disappointing myself first. 

How does this relate to my internet experience, you ask? I think it explains why this project is called “2 snsitive 4 th intnet”. At the same time - I am producing multiple cultural objects such as Text, Images, Montages, Maps, Collages and so on but I still feel very reluctant to share them on Social Media or show them to anyone, or even finish them. Because if they are shared, if they are out there, people would be able to connect them to me and me as the person Lisa or electro_lyzer. They would judge what I did. Inherently. Of course they would. Everyone judges everything all the time. That’s even more true for pieces of art. 

In fear of this judgement, and having the feeling that everything I do is constantly being evaluated, I rather refrain from producing any judge-worthy materials or share the view I have with others. 

I am too sensitive for the vastness, the immediacy and the straight-forwardness of the internet. 

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⋆ ˚｡baby if you love me, take to the gas stations 𓇢𓆸 ⋆ ˚｡⋆

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put me in a movie ౨ৎ

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Vibes ✨ this is exactly what I am working on right now - only that my video work is more myspace nostalgia cyan scene-core and not as cutesy deer-eyed semi transparent pink as this video.

I still love it 💖🎀⚔️

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Classic Barbie content

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Real…

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real shit

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I'm pretty when I cry

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