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also as a reassurance i guess, i dont think there's anything to be scared of like nothing big happened with any of the boys that would be :/ a cause for disappointment or unloving like, obviously their 'celebration' and acknowledgement of thr 23rd was a bit disappointing but thats what they're 1d for❤ not to be nosy but what blog change do you mean if you dont mind me asking 👀 anyway im glad u got a life outside of this i can only aspire to be like you one day lol😔

honestly this is such a big relief cuz before i stopped coming on here completely i had seen some posts about liam that seemed v serious but i didn’t look into it or see the whole thing i just know it was about his gf or something? and i saw someone annoyed with harry but i kinda figured he was just up to his usual fuckery tbh it was liam i was a little more worried about.

i’m honestly just glad they said something about the anniversary tho i still don’t understand why they all used the oldest pictures ever like they may as well have shown me all their ultrasound pics at least those would be new. but the anniversary actually made me decide that i was right and that harry does run the 1d twitter account cuz both conveniently didn’t tweet about the anniversary last year and then really showed up for this one. they should’ve dropped some unreleased tracks or more of those studio videos with julian or THE OTRA TOUR DVD I DESERVE

oh no it’s not nosy at all it’s resal aka ftstylan who was like my number one 1d blog and was one of the few ppl i agreed with and would call out the boys on their bs but now she’s elounors which totally threw me off cuz she’s always been 1d/narry like hardcore so i saw the blog in my inbox from like two years ago and was like wtf who is this and was like totally surprised so i thought something horrible had happened but i think i saw her reblog something with harry a few days ago so i guess it’s okay? idk for some reason her blog doesn’t show up on my dash as if it’s muted but i don’t have her url muted so idk

yeah it’s nice to have a life outside of this but it literally took me getting a job so that def keeps me busy enough but we’ll see how it is this year since we’re starting school from home and my job is really a hands on one i might have a little more time on my hands. i’m thinking of maybe just reblogging some of my fave posts from my blog like i’ve been suffering for almost 5 years but i also have 5 years of good 1d shit so maybe i’ll start revisiting it since i’m going through my blog already. and i hope you find something tbh i’ve filled the past 5 months of my life with animal crossing it’s p nice there

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hi this is the anon, please dont feel bad🥺 im really happy to see you reply and hear that ur still here from time to time! for what its worth i never thought you were negative❤ if anything im glad you spoke your mind bc you were one of the few people i could relate to about loving 1d but not really wanting to interact with their solo content.. the struggle is real😔 and i feel you about it being easier when you're not on here, i catch myself taking increasingly longer breaks too

this inflated my sad little heart thank you so much. it’s really nice to read this esp since i felt so alone in loving 1d but hating solo 1d like most people so easily went wild over it and supported but i never really did. like i remember when this town came out and everyone was so hyped and i was like.... no thanks and blacklisted it and lost my whole dash so i actually forced myself to like it just so i wouldn’t be left out. it was so much better to just say fuck it tho despite the struggle being so fucking real.

i’m glad you didn’t think i was/am negative cuz it felt like it since i hardly saw anyone else saying anything similar it was like everyone was so far up people’s asses that they couldn’t see anymore. i know i was def more angry back then like i read my old tags and was like damn who hurt you while knowing exactly who hurt me. taking breaks makes it so much easier like it’s taken a weight off of me and i’m nowhere near as angry and bitter as i used to be it was getting to be too much so it’s nice to just like... dip back in every now and then even though i just stick to my own blog

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kinda hoped id see you back on my dash for the 23rd😔 hope you're doing well and living life free of 1d

oh buddy my life is never free of 1d. i’ve just... focused it on actual 1d and not the individual boys. like i have all but louis muted on every social media thing i follow them on. i was actually gonna pop in on the 23rd and celebrate and all that but when it came down to it... i think i got scared?

aside from knowing about albums being released, i haven’t gotten any new info or content or have engaged with the boys since right before harry started gearing up to promote his second album. like i literally don’t even know album or single titles. the second his rolling stone stuff came up i got to a really bad place in terms of always being mad and disgusted and annoyed and it wasn’t good for me so i had to step away. it was so tiring to feel that all the time and it was really affecting me so i decided to take control of it and get rid of everything that wasn’t making me happy. then i got a job and life kept going but like i think about 1d literally everyday i’m still ride or die.

but during that time i would see glimpses of things that would like ambush me, like a recommended vid on youtube or a headline in my student’s inbox at school from iheart radio cuz they listen while they work and don’t understand how to unsubscribe, and some of the stuff would make me feel those ugly feelings again so i would go away even further if that’s possible. and since i’ve missed so much, since it’s been like a year since i’ve known anything, i’m genuinely scared to come back in and see how things are.

i didn’t wanna get on my dash and get bombarded with the stuff i didn’t wanna see, to learn something that would make me mad or disappointed or something like that. i honestly didn’t know if anyone i’m still following would even post 1d stuff or if they were full on solo blogs or had dropped off too. i really wanted to spread the memories and celebration posts, but i didn’t want to find out if something happened with one of them that would make me not like them anymore because having to unlove any of them, no matter how mad i’ve been in the past, isn’t something i think i can handle.

so i’m scared to know things and maybe even more afraid to not know and lull myself into being happy with a past version of them that doesn’t exist anymore if that makes sense. i’ve spotted a pretty big change in like the number one blog i follow for 1d and while i’m curious as hell, i’m afraid to find out what brought about that change whether it’s serious or just a temporary thing

so basically i still miss 1d with all my heart and soul and my chest aches about it and you def didn’t ask for this essay but here it is. i might finally bring myself to look for some anniversary posts to reblog and might take the chance to tailor my tumblr experience again but i’m still... nervous. and i might regret this but like... how are we feeling about the boys these days? maybe nothing too specific cuz i don’t need my heart to fall out of my ass if it’s something i don’t like cuz this shit gets me way more than it should(which is part of the reason why i left), but if i’ve gotta shift some things, maybe i should get started.

oh and if there were any really good 1d posts in particular feel free to send them my way i’m dying for good content

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i miss seeing you on here:( you've always been one of my favourites, i hope you're doing well💛

oh my god i’m so so sorry i feel SO BAD about not seeing this. i was literally just adding a tag to an old post and just happened to see i had notifications and i’ve spent the past minute staring at the date of this message feeling TERRIBLE. i actually scroll through my blog every so often and fix tags but the formatting option i have for tumblr condenses the top bar so the post always covers everything so i had no idea i had anything

i genuinely had like no qualms about ducking out cuz i honestly thought no one cared or would notice like i don’t have friends on here, other blogs do way more, and i was being hella negative and didn’t wanna engage with further solo stuff  so i figured nothing would change if i disappeared. this is so nice tho thank you. it’s been... weird over here but i’m doing a lot better than i was. i honestly miss being on here sometimes but it’s so much easier to block things out by getting rid of everything but i miss the fun stuff.

i hope you’re doing well too and that you actually see this god i can’t believe this is from MARCH again i’m so sorry

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can anyone tell me if any of louis’ songs are worth listening to besides “always you”?

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@itsjusthannah_: The boys with my brother was literally the cutest thing ever.

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A post shared by Jeff Gerstmann (@jeffgerstmann)

And done.

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-I was talking to some of the fans here about if they can describe you in one world earlier. And one answer stood out to me - sunshine

Happy birthday, Louis Tomlinson - an actual ray of sunshine!

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In case you were wondering, the world is still exactly as it should be.

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“I’m quite carefree. I know what I’m like. I know who I am. I would say I was a pretty decent fella. They can write what they want, to be honest. I don’t really care. I never have been one to worry about things too much.” Happy 26th Birthday, Niall!

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Happy birthday Liam Payne! (August 29th 1993)

Consider donating, if you can: Trekstock / Stomp Out Bullying / Sustainable Development Goals Fund

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Harry Styles for the Gucci Mémoire d'une Odeur campaign, shot by Glen Luchford.

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TEUTA MATOSHI DURIQI Couture 2019

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Strasbourg - France (by Tristan Schmurr) 

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same energy

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CHOTRONETTE Parfait D’Amour dress

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Cancun, Mexico - 06/08