onlyzizi
431 posts
im zizi 23 | she/her | usa
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florida and texas need to sink into the ocean. yk what? just take the entire country.
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i don’t understand myself.
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even in a nonED way, throwing up feels so fucking good
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controversial statement buuuuuut i like lined better than plain notebooks. if i wish to draw, then i can always paint the paint white and draw on top of that. but trying writing in a straight line on plain paper? imposible.
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in all honesty, i wouldn’t even want to get better. who am i if not this?
#i know that taking comfort in the bad is wrong#but it’s not even comfort i’m feeling#it just is???#like i’m zizi. i have crazy delusions and an eating disorder.#tw ed#ana blog#actually delusional
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even at my lw, i was miserable and wanted more.
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I remember when adopting Lucy the lady said that she would be a cat that we will never get to hold. she didn’t get picked bc of that but for whatever reason we got her despite of it.
The following summer, 3 months after we adopted her, she let me pick her up. It was so random and my whole family was shocked. She was standing on top of the dinning table so I just grabbed her and she let me.
She also died in my arms. It was crazy and as much as I don’t love my family, I’m grateful that there was no debate on who was going to hold her during her final moments.
I was the first and last to hold her. I still miss her so much.
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it’s times like this where i could really use a stray bullet flying into my house and instantly killing me
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gonna start abusing laxatives just to feel something again
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the daily 4:30am sob did not knock me out… now what?
#who needs medication when you can tire yourself out by sobbing uncontrollably#i actually might have to
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LITC SPOILERS
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO!!!! USA!!!!!!!!! USA!!!!!!!! USA!!!!!!!!!!
now, I knew this would happen and im so happy. I want him away from everyone and start over! ALSO he needs to search for a therapist as soon as that plane lands!
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i swear i’m normal.
#i always feel so bad for people who follow me because they like a point i made#but then they are meant with several post about how i want to kill myself#i’m not normal but it’s gonna be dealt with#trust!#idk when and how but i guess ill either have to get over it all or die so#sorry for being me lol
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i might actually have to kill myself soon
realizing that i have no choice but to drop out of college after this semester and im going to have to pay my student loans for a degree i don’t have in a state where minimum wage is $7.25…
i just pray that a stray bullet hits me.
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realizing that i have no choice but to drop out of college after this semester and im going to have to pay my student loans for a degree i don’t have in a state where minimum wage is $7.25…
i just pray that a stray bullet hits me.
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