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Adulthood

Chapter 1.

Paradise apartment becomes underwater hell

When you finally move from your sh*** apartment to a new one that feels like a dream, one day the party is over.

Now you finally have windows, real windows, the ones that you can scape in case of a fire and know the difference between night and day.

Now you have your own private bathroom and you do not need to share with strangers.

You finally have a kitchen and your own fridge.

So you are happy, like a dog in a paddle.

Your landlord is a cool guy and he shoots you a text message saying that some guys are fixing the roof. And you are like: “Awesome, new roof, better for the winter.”

But guess what, when you are feeling you are “killin it”, you hear a noise. At around midnight. And it sounds as little water drop and you think:

“Not a big, that is nothing. Think positive and pretend you are camping.”

But no, no and no. The drops get heavier, get from the ceiling to the wall and to your closed. Wetting all your clothes, including your gift wedding dress from an amazing fashion designer, that you would never, ever, would be able to buy with your paycheck, but thanks to a beautiful soul you got it. And now, is wet. It is SILK!!!!! And it is WET!!!!!

You and your fiance are so upset, he almost sees your dress - while trying to help you and you freak out.

This is more than a private home waterfall, it is a dream destroyer.

You take all your clothes and important document away from the accident scene. And spend the rest of the night checking the forecast to see when the rain will stop.

After an exhausting night, without any sleep. You nap for a couple minutes and you hear:

“KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, POW” on the walls.

The whoever did this mess is up in the roof fixing it. So, I wake up my fiance and say.

“Hey babe, the guys are here, let’s go upstairs and talk to them.”

“Well babe, you are the one who speaks Spanish.”

I was like, what???? Really? I do speak Spanish, but it is not even my first language. Anyway, I was like, whatever.

“Since I am a doer let me solve this.”

I text my landlord, but he doesn’t respond.

It is pretty obvious, I am the one to confront the guys.

I start talking to them, they say they tested with water, trying to get around it. But I say.

“Sorry, but your idea didn’t work and my apartment has damaged walls and my clothes too, including my wedding dress.”

They look at me and say they are going to call their boss.

“Good, who is your boss? - I ask.

For my luck, I know their boss. And I ask them to send him over.

Long story short, everything will be fixed. But lesson learned from one more adulthood throwing life in your face is:

“Always be prepared to do things and speak up for yourselves. Not all the time your loved ones will help, they may “chicken up” last minute or drop of the fight. So “stand up for yourself” and do not get scared to say or tell what’s up, because if you don’t you will set boundaries of what people can do to you. If you don’t express about what makes you upset or a problem you are dealing with, nobody will magically acknowledge and make you feel good or fix it for you.

“IF YOU WANT CHANGE OF SOMETHING DONE, GROW UP AND DO IT YOURSELF. Choose a side and stand up for your beliefs.

That is it.

A very pissed quack today.

PINK DUCK.

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TIME TO PUT YOUR BEST CLOTHES AND CHECK OUT THE WORLD!!!

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Restaurant Nonsense

“I want the salmon, but with the chicken prep.” Anonymous

Tip - Please don’ t do it!!! Order something else.

I know people are going out to treat themselves and make someone else cook for them, and restaurants need guests otherwise closes its doors. But, there is a  limit. I’ve heard over ten years of restaurant experience a lot of nonsense and things that people should just keep their mouths shut.

Santa List

Server: “Hi, welcome. Can I get you some drinks?”

Client: “ no, water is fine.”

The server explains specials, client request to keep the menu in case he wants to order more. About 15 minutes later.

Server: “How is everything?”

Client: “ Excellent, service is excellent, I can’t even.”

Client’s wife: “Why do you need to be such an as***?”

They finish dinner.

Server: “ Would you like to order anything else from the dinner menu?”

Client: “ You know what I really want? I want a lottery ticket and I want a doobie. Why don’t you sit here?”

Server: “Great, not a problem, I work for Santa and since Christmas is in the corner, I will write down your list and give it to him.”

Client’s wife: “ hahahahah, good one.”

I mean, working in a restaurant is a job, so just because someone is serving you doesn’t mean you have to feel superior or make any jokes like that. Imagine if I went to this client’s work and said crazy stuff, instead of acting normal? They would probably call the security on me. SO if is not okay for you is not okay towards a restaurant worker.

The lap dance request

Older man: “Hey pretty. Do you know how beautiful you are?”

Server:” Do you want more water?”

Older man: “Come here, I want you to sit on my lap.”

WTF??? 

JUST DON’T!!!

ALLERGIES

Client: “Hey I have a serious gluten allergy, so can you change the chicken without the sauce, the breaded thing and replace with veggies?” Server: “Sure, not a problem.” - It is allergy so even knowing the chef will yell at you, you need to do it. The server comes back. Client: “Can I have a Guinness, please?” I know, some beers are gluten-free, but Guinness is brewed from barley and barley contains ‘ gladin’, a component found in gluten.

Silence is a virtue, and most of the time, necessary. When you go out, understand where you are going. On my next post, I will give a list of DO’s & DON’Ts so you all can have a nice meal without being cursed.

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I defy gravity

Marilyn Monroe

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The big 30

When I was a little girl, I pictured myself in the future wearing a beautiful black dress, red lipstick, and pumps. Working all over the world probably with a super rad job and on my free time helping someone in need with Peace Corps or any other organization, that does good things. 

Well, I am in the 30′s and guess what??? I am far from the “picture perfect” I created. Fact is: (I will make a list, so makes life easier)

1. the red pumps were my mother’s and she gave it away a long time ago

2. the red lipstick I wear once in a while, but I need to be in the mood, sometimes, most of the time I walk out without any makeup on. - I know it is weird based on the current successful makeup brands and all. But I really don’t wear it all the time, I do more minimal like to go out or to work.

3. regarding the black dress, I wear, but not always. I usually wear more navy blue, gray and white. And I have this beautiful red dress with printed zebras that I love.

Anyway, the 30′s is not so glamourous - please don’t judge, I created that image when I was 7 playing inside my mom’s closet.

The imaginary world that I portrayed as a child, never became reality. I was lost in such an imaginative reality that I ended up liking and doing many things, but never only one thing. - I think is pretty cool when someone knows exactly what to do with their lives. Unfortunately, that was not my case.

I guess I am entering the famous 30 years old crises, but how can I survive this? And is that all wrong to make silly decisions,?when is too late to fix or abandon a path of dreams that look intangible and leave the clouds to walk down on Earth?

Am I going to be another duck floating in the bathtub, with a huge credit card bill?

Quack, quack

PINK DUCK.