ofthedarkestlight

[ofthedarkestlight]

1日 - prompt #1: crux

noun “the decisive or most important point at issue” “a particular point of difficulty”

rating: PG warnings: brief mentions of abusive parents

music

writes in between crafting macros

“We’ve settled on the date of your wedding.”

The words hang in the air for a moment, making themselves at home, taking a cup of tea. They were uttered so simply, as though Utsuro had been sat upon the lacquered furniture of the grand meeting room to discuss the weather. “...What wedding?” His voice comes out timidly. Even though his every nerve is screaming in recoil, unsure how to react, he has been painfully trained to the bone for years to sound like this, always so quiet in his parent’s presence. “You see, we’ve been very concerned about how old you’re getting,” they remarked petulantly, staring at their 20 year old son, “and how you scarcely show any interest in your duty as a son.” That’s because the two of you were hoping I would die before I even came of age... He swallows these words like jagged ice and forces his thin lips into a pleasant, parent pleasing mask. “I was simply assured I would be the one taking care of you in your old age while my six sisters and brothers would take care of the rest.” “There’s no need.” His mother’s cold, unfeeling gaze didn’t waver. “We would be much more comforted in our old age knowing that all of our children were married.” She attempts to coax what she believes is warmth into her voice, but all who listen shift uncomfortably at this strange attempt. Everything else that's said afterwards runs together like spilled ink. Something about his duty as a son, Hingashi tradition, and a girl from Ul’dah.

When he is finally dismissed in what feels like five solid blocks of ice cold hours, his entire body feels light and hollow, just like his name. Utsuro hugs himself, trying to scrub away the numbing chill so the goosebumps would retreat, but they prickle down his spine mercilessly. His body screams for reprieve, release, away from this cursed house that serves as a jail. The only place that offers him solace is the shrine.

Utsuro takes off running down the stairs as soon as he was out of sight, or at least, he thought he was safely out of sight. “Off to see that boy again, isn’t he.” Venomous words follow him. “Who does he think he is? You can’t run away from what you were born to do.” “Sen!” Utsuro climbs up the steps of the shrine with his lungs burning, calling out breathlessly. But the boy doesn’t turn around, his body swaying gently from side to side as he sweeps away at the steps, elegant as the wind. Another moment passes until a sweet sigh graces the air like an ocean breeze.

“I know,” he answers quietly, platinum locks cascading over his shoulder as he bends to pick up an orange leaf. The first of many that would wilt from the trees above, shedding the green of their summer youth, bending to the unforgiving cycle of nature. The man named “Sen” holds the frayed brown leaf delicately in his palms before gripping it so tightly that it withers into dust. “You already knew? Then why didn’t you warn me?!” Utsuro looks hurt as he continues to be ignored.

“I didn’t. I could tell just by your feelings.” He finally looks over his shoulder, smiling as always. But it’s such a distant, weary sigh, so palpable Utsuro feels regret shatter his heart into pieces. Whenever the other felt something so palpable, it spread through their connected souls. He can almost sense it now, the moment that Sen was swept up in the humid air of the dying summer, breathing in the scent of the ocean, when the news hit him like an invisible wall. Utsuro’s mind is frenzied, trying to come up with as many solutions as possible in the sixty seconds before the world ends. “We could just run away into the spirit world, couldn’t we?” “You and I both know how dangerous that is,” Sen’s carefree smile takes on a more dire look, furrowing his eyebrows. He knows all too well that when Utsuro gets like this, there’s no way to convince him it won’t work until he nearly dies trying. “All I would have to do is wear your enchanted mask all the time, and no one would be the wiser--” “Not only is that outrageously taxing on your body,” Sen’s temper flares, his human pupils taking on a more menacing diamond shape, “but it seems you`ve already forgotten your little ‘performance’ the last time you were there.” Utsuro freezes. That’s right, his performance at the night parade. He eagerly volunteered to participate in the dance, hoping to further solidify his disguise and meld more and more into the world of the yokai, perpetuating this ruse of him being Sen’s partner. And in the final moment, when all eyes were on him, his mask had moved, ever so slightly. “It can`t be...”

“Did you see that?”

“I can smell it!”

“Is that mortal blood?” The rush to cover up the mishap was a complete blur in his mind. If it weren’t for quick thinking from their few but loyal allies, the entire spirit world would have caved in on him and feasted on his bones for their midnight snack. An attempt that would be in vain, because there was one rather obstinate fox spirit standing in their way.

Utsuro stands alone at the mouth of the shrine, glancing behind him at the winding gray ocean of steps that carve their way up this lonely mountain. He looks back to Sen, hoping to catch a glimpse of his eyes, to truly grasp what on earth he could be thinking at this moment, but is only met with the retreating back of a lightly humming Sen who continues to go about his daily routine around the shrine. 

Utsuro watches as elegant hands put away the broom and the lilting sway in his steps as he makes his way towards the belly of the building surrounded in blood red wood. He stops at the offering box, tossing in a coin and ringing the bell, clapping his hands together in a gesture of prayer. If any kami out there is even listening…would they even listen to me? 

Although he isn’t the one praying, Utsuro offers one up in earnest, swaying in the approaching autumn breeze, the fatigue of his grief causing his ankle to buckle underneath his meager weight, the arch of his foot catching on the step behind him.

“Falling for me again, are we?” A smirk blooms on Sen’s cheeks, his laughter matching the ringing bell in the distance. Sen is holding Utsuro against his chest, away from the tumbling steps. This form of his is much taller, broader than the meager mortal simulacrum he puts on in order to play the part. His tail curls behind him, sweeping over Utsuro’s middle in a comforting manner, an extra arm to help ease the pain.

“There there, my little fox…” He nestles Utsuro’s tear stained cheek against his breast, rubbing the small of his back, the spot that’s soothed him most since he was but a crying youth alone in the darkness. “Nothing could ever change how I feel about you, you know that.” Utsuro knew all too well that such affectionate words from a yokai to a mortal was tantamount to Sen turning his back on his own kind. “But it’s wrong, that’s the point,” he whispers, anguished, against the clothing he’s marred with tears, “that I must be wed to another, when you’re the only one that I love.” Such words should never be said with a crying face, Utsuro can easily imagine the centuries old Sen saying something filled with wisdom like this. Instead, Sen pulls back, taking Utsuro’s delicate face between his hands, claws tipped with talons that would frighten most, but feel like home to Utsuro.

“No matter what mortal chains may bind you, nothing could hope to stand between you and I.”

For nothing could change who they were - a simple human, an immortal spirit. Both of their worlds had taken up arms to ensure that a happy ending could never come true. But at this moment, they were not in the human world, nor were they in the spirit world.

They were in their shrine on the mountain, gazing at the sun bleeding into the brilliant Ruby Sea.

[ofthedarkestlight]

Writing advice from my uni teachers:

If your dialog feels flat, rewrite the scene pretending the characters cannot at any cost say exactly what they mean. No one says “I’m mad” but they can say it in 100 other ways.

Wrote a chapter but you dislike it? Rewrite it again from memory. That way you’re only remembering the main parts and can fill in extra details. My teacher who was a playwright literally writes every single script twice because of this.

Don’t overuse metaphors, or they lose their potency. Limit yourself.

Before you write your novel, write a page of anything from your characters POV so you can get their voice right. Do this for every main character introduced.

[ofthedarkestlight]

I REMEMBERED MY PASSWORD ITS FFXIVWRITE2020 LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[ofthedarkestlight]

like listen i hate so many harmless fun things but at least i don’t pretend im fighting a noble social justice battle. im, like, just a hater.

[ofthedarkestlight]

51 Questions You’ve (Probably) Never Asked About Your Characters

At NaNo HQ, we’re big fans of long, detailed character questionnaires (like this one)! They’re invaluable when it comes to fleshing out our characters, exploring their secrets, and just killing time—but after hundreds of questions and dozens of quizzes, the questions all begin to look the same.

After careful research, rigorous testing, and three escaped typewriter monkeys, we’re proud to present the 51-Question NaNo Character Questionnaire 2.0, filled with questions you’ve probably never considered asking about your characters.

By the time you’ve finished this questionnaire, you’ll know more about your characters than you may know about yourself!

1. What does your character do when they think no one’s looking?

2. What’s the one thing your character would save in a fire (beyond the necessities)?

3. Who’s on speed dial?

4. Your character gets turned down for their dream job. What’s their second choice?

Keep reading

[ofthedarkestlight]

How NaNoWriMo Can Actually Help Your Mental Health

Writing a novel in a month can be hard—even harder when dealing with mental health. In this post, NaNoWriMo Participant Hannah Blackwell talks about how NaNoWriMo is not only possible with mental health problems, but potentially beneficial:

It’s almost an understatement to say that life is overwhelming. This holds especially true during NaNo season. Juggling life, employment, family, friends, and a fifty thousand word novel requires at least two hands, and that becomes especially hard when a writer deals with mental illness too. 

Last year, my first ever year with NaNo, I had just been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. On top of that, I’d just started a new job that wasn’t going particularly well. I almost didn’t do it - I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t broken my foot and needed something to do while recovering. I’d nearly given up on writing altogether, and accepted that I might never finish a novel. I was just going to put all of my passion away. But I knew that writing was something that I loved, and I hoped that if nothing else, writing would give me a positive headspace to recover in.

Keep reading

[ofthedarkestlight]

ffxiv write post mortem + what I`m doing w this blog from here on

so I`ll save you the grace of the read more if you want to know the latter (since I know I gained a couple followers, hi!) I will continue to update this blog with writing and more stuff about my characters! thank you to those who have read my stuff so far so now for ffxiv write...

So. My life before September was already pretty rough, and in September everything kind of went into a fever pitch. I was finally put on a medicine for something I`d been dealing with for over a year (migraines, weird vision, it wasnt fun!) but now at the very least I`m being treated. If you have chronic pain, you know how hard life can be. Recovering from chronic pain is also a hell and a half as your body tries to acclimate once more, for example, I didn`t know that lettuce has a scent, if you want to know how long this specific health shenanigan has been going on for.

Simultaneously I am in my final semester of college, just trying to get this last full load out of the way so I can move onto my career. And let me tell you, if you`re still in college, never take two labs at once.  Because of all those things rolled into one its pretty hard for me to write consistently, so a lot of my stuff ends up sporadic. That being said I`m still proud I finished several pieces within the time frame! And, I do want to eventually go through and finish them all, and will be tagging them as such if you`d like to keep up with me. So all in all, even though my brain wants to get mad at me for “not doing much” my heart is trying to remind me that I did the best I could, especially with the circumstances, and that writing doesn`t really have a time limit anyway. So expect more from me, and I will deliver! Just at various times, bc my life is a holy mess right now LMAO But my friends, my girlfriend, XIV, and my readers help me through. So thank you!

[ofthedarkestlight]

“Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”

— Anne Jamison (via pen-in-hand)

[ofthedarkestlight]

OCTOBER APPROACHES!

And so does Whumptober 2019! Feast your eyes on this year’s gut-wrenchingly glorious Prompt List, and get inspired to create some killer content starting October 1st. There are some changes to the tagging system from last year, so be sure to give the attached Event information a read! If after reading you still have questions, feel free to send an ask to @whumptober2019​ or reach out to the event creator, @la-vie-en-whump​ !

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

-Kat

The official Prompt List, Event information, and FAQs are all transcribed below the cut.

Keep reading

[ofthedarkestlight]

5日 - prompt #5: vault

strums my guitar I love writing love, so so much.

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast music rating: PG warnings: none

spoilers for 3.1 

I`m not going to make it. I`m too late. He`s going to die. Thoughts like frigid steel stabbed through his chest, a chilling reminder of a moment where Auguste had already failed this test. Wrong, wrong, wrong, sound the church bells in their solemn judgement. He nearly trips, footfalls echoing off the high ceilings, angry saints staring down at him, weighing his soul with every step. He feels his tendons screaming in pain as he rights himself, scrambling up the stairs to find Aymeric bleeding at the hands of the clergy. Someone unsheaths their knife and goes at him from the rear. “Aymeric!” Auguste cries out, throwing himself body and soul in front of him.  And it was about to happen all over again.

“Hey, that stings,” Perci groused as Auguste absentmindedly soaked his wound with a cloth. “Ah? Oh, I`m sorry…” “Don`t apologize. How`s your back doing?” “Better than yesterday,” Auguste nods, remembering Perci`s lecture of stop saying fine when it’s not fine and admitting that it did, indeed, still hurt.

A lot of things still hurt. Very much so. He feels the sheets shift underneath him as Perci leans back and smiles, observing Auguste in his natural nursing habitat. Everything still hurts, but perhaps “love” is the magical elixir that alchemists have been searching for. “But more importantly, how is your--” “Are we really having a contest? One of us took a sword for the Lord Commander and the other got a poisoned knife in the belly.” Auguste can`t help but laugh as Perci always had a way of making the most dire situations sound just a little better than they were. They were likely one of the few couples who could lay claim to having matching wound dressing with bandages wrapped round their middles. “You`re right, you`re right,” Auguste nods firmly as he wraps the gauze around Perci`s forearm. “It`s in my blood to worry, you know? You`ve met my mother, after all, and everyone says I take after her the most.” Perci continues to watch as Auguste`s clever fingers work quickly with his first aid kit, humming a soft tune to himself. “You know, when we first met, you couldn`t stop stuttering. You couldn`t even look me in the eye, for that matter.” He muses, gently grasping Auguste`s chin and tilting it up so that sea green meets ocean blue. “And now look at you.” Auguste`s first instinct is to look away, but he swallows hard and meets Perci`s gaze head on. His beautiful blues were practically sparkling, and Auguste`s free hand natural reaches to intertwine with Perci`s. “When it comes to you, you know I can`t help myself.” Auguste sighs as this single instant stretches into an eternity for the two of them in their own little world. 

Perci feels his chest tighten as he watches this angel before him in the soft light filtering from the setting sun. He feels like he could spend the rest of his life just gazing at his beloved, be it in this hospital bed, in the Fortemps manor, on the battlefield - anywhere, anywhere. “...Say, Aucchan. What do you think about The Goblet?” Perci pipes up suddenly. “Some nice houses, huh?” “Oh, I`ve been there.” Auguste`s entire expression lights up instantly. “It`s so warm, and there’s lots of beautiful flowers.” I knew you`d say that. “Say, Aucchan.” Perci traces two fingers up the side of Augustes arms, like a pair of legs going for a walk on the sunny avenue that`s Auguste pale arm, until he arrives at the ticklish crook of the elbow that makes Auguste laugh. “Hmm?” He smiles and glances down at Perci`s ticklish fingertips, ready to answer a question about their friends or perhaps what`s for dinner. “How do you feel about living with me?”

[ofthedarkestlight]

[ofthedarkestlight]

Il Mheg

[ofthedarkestlight]

4日 - prompt #4: shifting blame

how many prompts can incite my DRK angst loving heart? shoutout to my girlfriend who recorded all of the 50-60 quests so I could cry over the most minute pieces of dialogue @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast music rating: PG warnings: brief mentions of past child abuse

spoilers for drk 60 and beyond 

A heart bleeds “Fray used to tell me stories of the Fane. ...Sid said he would`ve won if they let him keep his staff.” A man weeps “Ever since you`ve joined us, we`ve visited so many new places I`m sure Fray would`ve enjoyed it to…” A soul burns Kaoru`s fist slams into the solid wood table with a frightening crack. Be it bone or stone, no one could even move to tell the difference as he raised his voice. To them, the ones that didn`t know the real Kaoru, they had no idea he could scream this loud. No one did. Not even Auguste. Kaoru hadn`t shouted in years, ever since his mother had beat the habit out of him until he tried to shut his mouth for good. Thence comes darkness. “The only time you open your damn mouth is to talk about Fray!” The words pour out like the wine glass thrown off the table, spilling deep red onto the floor with reckless abandon. Sid opens his mouth to object, especially given the company they were surrounded by, but Kaoru shoots him such a fiery look that even he is caught off guard for just a moment. “You`ve beaten it into me, both of you, how you wish he was here. More`s the pity that you got stuck with some paltry replacement instead.” Hands that destroyed just a moment earlier now shake like the lost child he once was, grasping for something, anything that felt like solid ground. “Well I`m not dealing with it anymore.” Kaoru curses, baring his fangs. “I`m tired of this charade!” He throws his sword to the ground, cursing the weight it bore onto his hands, feeling so much lighter, if only physically. His heart felt like sludge as he wandered below the bridge, and off towars the Brume. “He`s just having another tantrum,” Sid sighs, unaware he was echoing Kaoru`s mother`s sentiments. Although Rielle had only met Kaoru several weeks ago, knew nothing about him aside from a name and a face, it was enough. A momentary glimpse at the pain in his eyes when he gave her that horrible glare told her everything she needed to know. “Well then, I suppose it`s back to square one for us, Rielle.” A pause. “Rielle?” Thankfully for a girl that couldn`t risk to be seen, he hadn`t wandered too far. It doesn`t take much for one who had trained in the arts of a rogue as a child to notice her clumsy steps crunch through the snow. “You`re not going to get what you`re looking for, you know.” Kaoru`s vain attempt at sounding rude only comes off as wistful. Clearly the tone of someone who was cowed to the fact no one would ever come looking for him, unless it was something they required. “I came looking for you.” She replies tacitly as always, something that unnerved a liar like him. “Even after I yelled at you?” Kaoru can`t help but laugh in spite of himself. She nods. “You didn`t mean it. Sid does the same thing sometimes. You two are more alike than you realize.” Kaoru genuinely laughs at that. The two of them, similar? He places them side by side in his mental canvas, laughing at the disparity between his lithe hyuran frame and the towering auri male who had, on several occasions, picked him up like a plaything. “He rarely even talked to me, you know. Sid. Or to anyone really, after Fray…” She trailed off, not wanting to provoke Kaoru back into his grief. “But ever since you came along, he talks, and even smiles sometimes when you`re not looking…” Kaoru makes a funny face as he tries to picture Sid wearing anything other than a stoic or grumpy expression. He made him smile? Despite being a thorn in his side, a painful reminder of what was gone? Or could it mean that, he thought of Kaoru as Kaoru? “That`s all because of you. No one else.” Rielle worries the hem of her sweater, gaining more courage as she sees Kaoru`s walls slightly faltering in her presence. “I didn`t ask for Sid or Fray to save me.” Kaoru`s heart catches in his throat, opening his mouth to speak before Rielle`s quiet voice cuts him off. “I`m not asking you to replace him. You don`t have to.” He remains silent, the wispy snow caught in the wind melting against his freckled cheeks.  Two children who`s mothers had forsaken them, awkward in speech, tried their best to dance around each other. They both fidget, worry their bottom lips, and try to think of something that just might endear their company to them. After all, the only company they had was each other. “When no one`s around,” Rielle pipes up suddenly, “I see you humming songs... Do you like music?” It`s Kaoru`s turn to be stunned into silence, taking a moment to actually think about himself. No one usually asked these questions. “...Yeah.” Tiny slivers of memories dance through his mind, so rarely free of agony and pain. Of his hands plucking his shamisen, of the ivory keys of the strange foreign contraption in their foyer. “I do.”

“Tell me more.” Rielle implores quietly, reaching to hold Kaoru`s shaking hand. “About you.” Yet even in the depths, the flame endures.

[ofthedarkestlight]

[ofthedarkestlight]

I like to call this “perci vision”

[ofthedarkestlight]

I`m kind of late/behind with prompts since I had to go out of town for a serious treatment at a hospital and then caught a cold after so...life is going about as it always does for me! But I will do every prompt, even if I`m late. To the people who`ve been keeping up with my writing, it means more to me than you know...thank you from the bottom of my heart!! I won`t give up on this project. I will also start posting more gpose here because I`m a gpose fiend...please look forward to it~

[ofthedarkestlight]

FFxivWrite2019

FFxiv 30 Day Writing Challenge SEPTEMBER 1st - 30th, 2019

Welcome to YEAR 3 of our annual FFxiv 30 Day Writing Challenge, folks!

In 2017 we saw 2,451 written pieces ranging from three-lined haikus to multi-paged stories. 2018 ramped up even more with 3,641 written pieces! 

We are a merry band of prolific writers, FFxiv RP community, and I couldn’t be prouder of our willingness to challenge ourselves creatively, using our RP craft as inspiration. Let’s see how we do in 2019!

Here’s the gist:

Runs from September 1st - 30th, 2019. During that timeframe:

Visit @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast​ once a day at 12:00pm (noon) PST for the prompt of the day. All prompts will be one word or brief phrase that you can interpret however you please.

You have 24 hours to write something for that prompt.

Submit the link to your entry post via this Google Form: https://forms.gle/EJV82Wh85BZpwaFa9  – Tumblr has been hiding @ mentions from my dash which means that I’m missing so many of your entries. :( Submitting a link to your post via this Form will ensure that everyone’s posts are seen and tracked! Please help me, haha. Tag @sea-wolf-coast-to-coast​ in your post, and use the hashtag #FFxivWrite2019.

There are no length or skill requirements (short & sweet is fine!).

There will be no 24-hour deadlines for the first week, September 1st - 7th.

Makeup/extra credit days every Sunday.

Every entry posted within its 24-hour deadline will count toward a participation prize raffle at the end.

You can join any time - late entries are welcome! They simply won’t count toward participation prizes - unless submitted on a makeup day.

If you’re an artist and you would like to volunteer to do a simple black & white illustration as a participation prize at the end of this challenge, please let me know!

RULES & MORE INFO below the cut~

Keep reading