nt-conversations

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Watching LOTR:

Gandalf: (low voice)

Is it safe?

FRODO NODS...he pats his pocket.

GANDALF (CONT'D)

Never put it on, for then the agents of the Dark Lord will be drawn to its power... Always remember, Frodo, the ring is trying to get back to its master... it wants to be found.

INTJ: I always picture Snape trying to stick his head down Frodo’s pocket in this scene.

INTP: THANK YOU I CAN NEVER REMOVE THAT IMAGE FROM MY HEAD

INTJ: You’re welcome. If I have to suffer we all have to suffer.

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The INTP is frustrated, bending in half backwards, trying to crack their back.

INTP: BONES ARISE AND CRACK

INTJ: That sounds violent.

INTP: I feel violent.

INTJ: You always feel violent.

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*gesturing to the crow perched on my shoulder* the invitation said we could bring a plus one

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Hii, I just wanted to say that I really like reading your take on Snape! I was wondering what your thoughts were regarding Voldemort's and Snape's ability to fly? Who learned from whom? (Personally I'm inclined to think that Snape crafted the spell as I don't see Voldemort desiring to share such a skill nor finding flattery in the imitation lmao)

Hello, thank you for your lovely message :)

Interesting question; I don’t have a fixed headcanon for it, but I don’t really lean towards either interpretation.

Some suggestions I’ve seen in fandom are:

Lily taught Snape

Snape saw Lily doing it and tried to teach himself

Voldemort taught Snape (as reward for murdering Dumbledore)

Snape taught Voldemort (and this sealed his status as a useful Death Eater)

I’m not fond of the first interpretation.  I think Lily’s propulsion through the air remained as just a quirk of her early magic - just as Harry didn’t go around regularly turning up on rooftops of buildings once he was older.  I think that if Lily genuinely had that skill, other talented wizards such as James and Sirius would’ve wanted to learn it too.  

However, I can go with the idea that Snape found the embryonic magic that Lily was using to be fascinating - and that may have inspired him.  Equally, I can imagine that Voldemort’s skills were whispered about within Slytherin, and I can imagine young Snape deciding that learning to fly would be a clear demonstration of his own talents.  

I think that’s also put into context by his memories, where he is seen struggling to control a broomstick as a young student - what better way to get one over ‘the big Quidditch hero’ than being able to master flight?  

Consequently, I strongly believe that Snape was attempting to fly when he was a teenager, and that’s what the Levicorpus spell was about (expanded upon here).

I absolutely think that Voldemort rewarded Snape for murdering Dumbledore - but I imagine that to be a public celebration of his actions.  I struggle with the concept that Voldemort would reward Snape so richly for murdering Dumbledore, because as much as he ordered it and it “proved” that Snape was truly his man, no matter how much Snape protested that Dumbledore was weakened, I think Voldemort would’ve still been wary that Snape managed to kill Dumbledore when he, Voldemort, could not.  

I can’t see Voldemort deliberately upskilling Snape at this juncture - it makes Snape into a threat, a challenger to the throne.  

Which leads us onto Snape teaching Voldemort.  It’s possible, but what I really love about Snape flying is that it elevates him into being an almost-equal of Voldemort and Dumbledore, the two greatest wizards in the series.  Voldemort’s Legilimency is often spoken of being beyond compare, yet Snape’s Occlumency skills are canonically greater.  Voldemort can fly unassisted - and then, we see, so can Snape.  

I always felt that scene was about establishing and ensuring that the reader realised what a genuine potential threat Snape was.  I like the idea that Voldemort was known as being a wizard who could fly with assistance, and young Snape decided that to prove he was a ‘great’ wizard, he would do the same - and he did.  

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We tried to put a coat on the cat. . . She is an asshole. This was payback. (It’s contagious. Now she is trying to rip the hair out of someone’s head)

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The INTP wants to start something. On the internet. A fight. The INTP wants to start a fight on the internet.

Anti-james potter post under jily tags anyone?

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We have permission from the OP to post this, but they did not want their blog attatched with ours, thus the scribbling.

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here we see the INTP in its natural state. observe how it uses objects in an attempt to communicate. doubtless if it were bipedal at the moment it would say “did we drink all the damn wine already?” but this is merely a speculation.

P.S. INTP would like to introduce you to the inflatable camping lounger. Yes. You do inflate it like you are flying a kite.

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CUCUMBER MAN UPDATE: He came in, and he's a coward in real life. Normal volume, very whiney. I wanted to start a fight. Resisted. Had another maniac come in, will post later.

INTP works at the “money center” customer service desk at a store.

Baby Boomer calls, and proceeds to inform them they bought poor quality cucumbers.

INTP: Uh oh, just come in to customer service -

OA (Old Asshole): NO I’M NOT DOING THAT

INTP: We can’t do anything unless you -

OA: GET ME A REPLACEMENT

INTP: We can’t do anything unless you go to customer service-

OA: THEN JUST REFUND MY MONEY

INTP: I can’t do a transaction over the phone-

OA: GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY NOW OR I WILL TELL EVERYONE HOW AWFUL YOUR SERVICES ARE

INTP: I’M TRYING TO PROVIDE SOLUTIONS AND YOU AREN’T TAKING THEM!

OA: WHAT SOLUTIONS

INTP: Come in to CUSTOMER SERVICE and we will take care of you!

Coworker meanwhile tries to take the phone, as INTP is ready kill someone, and fails.

OA: NO! I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE HOW AWFUL YOUR SERVICES ARE IF YOU DON’T REFUND MY MONEY!

INTP: OK! GO AHEAD!

OA: I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE YOUR PRODUCE IS TERRIBLE, YOUR GROCERY PICKUP IS TERRIBLE, AND -

INTP: HAVE A GReAt rEsT Of yOuR DaY!!

INTP slams phone down. Coworkers are staring.

INTP: WHAT THE HELL DID HE EXPECT ME TO DO, FAX HIM SOME CUCUMBERS?!

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INTP works at the “money center” customer service desk at a store.

Baby Boomer calls, and proceeds to inform them they bought poor quality cucumbers.

INTP: Uh oh, just come in to customer service -

OA (Old Asshole): NO I’M NOT DOING THAT

INTP: We can’t do anything unless you -

OA: GET ME A REPLACEMENT

INTP: We can’t do anything unless you go to customer service-

OA: THEN JUST REFUND MY MONEY

INTP: I can’t do a transaction over the phone-

OA: GIVE ME BACK MY MONEY NOW OR I WILL TELL EVERYONE HOW AWFUL YOUR SERVICES ARE

INTP: I’M TRYING TO PROVIDE SOLUTIONS AND YOU AREN’T TAKING THEM!

OA: WHAT SOLUTIONS

INTP: Come in to CUSTOMER SERVICE and we will take care of you!

Coworker meanwhile tries to take the phone, as INTP is ready kill someone, and fails.

OA: NO! I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE HOW AWFUL YOUR SERVICES ARE IF YOU DON’T REFUND MY MONEY!

INTP: OK! GO AHEAD!

OA: I’M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE YOUR PRODUCE IS TERRIBLE, YOUR GROCERY PICKUP IS TERRIBLE, AND -

INTP: HAVE A GReAt rEsT Of yOuR DaY!!

INTP slams phone down. Coworkers are staring.

INTP: WHAT THE HELL DID HE EXPECT ME TO DO, FAX HIM SOME CUCUMBERS?!

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INTP works in retail.

INTP is surprised at their own continued employment.

INTP does NOT have a customer service voice, or face.

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Us as professors.

NTs as Professors

ENTJ: the cool professor who’s super witty and fun but will murder you if you show up late. “The syllabus is law” and “all grades are final” because they’re secretly a softie and would raise your grade ten points if you said your dog died

ENTP: gives the most brutally honest grades and always keeps a third red pen handy for when the first two run out of ink. Goes on the oddest tangents and yet somehow manages to teach the class exactly what they need to know. Forgets your name but remembers you wore a shirt with the rival university’s logo on it

INTP: that professor who doesn’t know what’s on the syllabus because they didn’t make it and drinks coffee from a Yeti cup and always surprises you when they say something smart. Was convinced all semester that class started at 10:45 (it did not, it was 10:30)

INTJ: the one who wrote INTP’s syllabus and is low-key ticked when INTP doesn’t follow it, and so their own class follows it without fail even if a tornado blows by. Also hands out brutally honest grades but will help you with their whole soul if you ask for it. Adopts kittens from INTP but no one would guess it

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The Perils Of DNA Collection

INTP: TAKE THE TUBE AND SPIT. THAT KIT HAS BEEN SITTING THERE FOR MONTHS. HAS IT BEEN THIRTY MINUTES SINCE YOU ATE?

INTJ: How the HELL WOULD I KNOW?!

Old INTJ: Why does it matter if you just ate?!

INFJ: BECAUSE if you just ate a carrot that's what your DNA IS GOING TO COME BACK AS!

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INTP: ME

INTJ: *cackles*

House of Finwe family feast

Little Curufin: Uncle, pass me the wine. Feanor: Curufin, what do we say? Little Curufin: NOW.

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The Hagraven Melka from Skyrim is definitely an INTP.

INTJ: I don’t even know what we should add to the post at this point.

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Probably Three a.m. :

INTJ is calmly brushing their teeth in the bathroom before bed. The INTP stumbles into sight.

INTP: I have to pee.

INTJ: You’ll have to wait.

INTP employs the brow furrow of aggression: I have to pee.

INTJ: Still brushing teeth.

INTP glares at the toilet, and the shower next to it, then smirks. They stalk past the INTJ who is looking bemused. INTP dramatically swirls the shower curtain around themself and the toilet. Vague water noises are heard.

INTJ, laughing: Are you seriously peeing like that right now?!

INTP: Yes. Because I’m brilliant at solving problems.

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Does anyone wish there was at least one day a year where It was open season for American retail workers on customers?

You want my name? No.

Oh you decided you didn’t want that at the checkout? And those fifteen other things? *grabs customer by the hair* SON YOU GON LEARN TO PUT SHIT AWAY YOURSELF TODAY

You spend thousands of dollars here? And you think I care, why?

You want to talk to the manager? How about you talk to my fist.

WE’RE ALL GOING TO SCREAM UNTIL YOU LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR INSIDE VOICES

That’s right little trainee Johnny, the barbed wire gets wrapped four times around the baseball bat

Don’t get too close to the customers, they might be diseased.

Oh, you want to return this crusty used thong for cash with no receipt? *smiles at customer, flicks a lighter and sets item on fire*

*smashes large screaming middle aged businessman face first into wall. Repeatedly* Respect is earned, bitch.

You want a discount? How about I only raise the price ten dollars and you can kiss my ass.

Sincerely,

The INTP

(As if you couldn’t tell)