nothoughtsjustfrancisabarnathy

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dating simulator where it starts normal but it slowly becomes clear that all of the romanceable characters are attempting to cover up an extremely specific murder they committed a year ago before you arrived

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When I got to that section where Richard was going on about the Corcoran’s habit to liken themselves with the Kennedys I had to reread it several times, I kept thinking I must have made a mistake because isn’t this the guy that spent a sizeable portion of the book going on about his absurdly vehement hatred of Catholics specifically? Did it never come up that JFK was an Irish American Catholic, I mean it was kind of a big deal. Then it hit me that even if it had come up Bunny would probably have ignored it. Just like he seemed willing to ignore Francis’ sexuality despite his extreme homophobia as long as it was convenient for him. Why expect consistency in the discrimination of a guy who called Henry a Nazi and a Jew as interchangeably derogatory terms in the same argument.

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Remember when Richard did cocaine in a Burger King parking lot

Remember Francis making him and Charles sick with prairie oysters and Charles persistently listing the scientific reasons ice cream floats would fix it. And Francis responding like ‘you and your ice cream floats’ as if this is not the first time they’ve had this conversation

Remember Charles’ first response on seeing Camilla cut her foot being ‘Camilla are you dead?’

the secret history poses some deep moral questions sure but its also one of the funniest books of all time. remember when they went to join the search party and the security guard was like “hey youre the guy with 10000000 parking tickets you bitch idiot” and francis was like “whakauakauakwa” and henry was like “change of plans we have to leave right now”

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Francis, holding up a pill bottle: yeah so they only give you the good shit if you say you're thinking about harming yourself AND others

Richard: ohhh --

Francis: you have to say AND, not or

Richard, typing on his phone: AND others, gotcha

*Charles chugging liquor like it’s water*

*Henry knocked out on pain meds*

Camilla: So is therapy still entirely out of the question?

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The Virgin Richard: It never occurred to me that information might be inaccurate because it came from a TV show

vs.

The Chad Henry: People have used these books for centuries. Their accuracy is beyond dispute.

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obligatory reblog for every tsh brain rot victim: fuck your zodiac sign what do you think the descending height order of the greek class is?

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Richard: When I woke up this morning, I had a feeling something terrible was going to happen and also that essentially, deep down, I’m quite an evil person.

Charles: It’s called a hangover, Richard.

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Henry and Francis having a little late-night drink and gossip session not 8 pages after Bunny’s murder

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new york’s hottest club is theo and kitsey’s engagement party. this place has everything! your fiancé who’s cheating on you, her mother who’s on the verge of a breakdown, an old man threatening you about your stolen dutch masterpiece, francis abernathy from the secret history, your childhood best friend who recently resurfaced after 10 years and is about to take you to amsterdam with him

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Secret History - Donna Tartt Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Francis Abernathy/Richard Papen, Charles Macaulay/Richard Papen, Francis Abernathy & Camilla Macaulay, Francis Abernathy & Henry Winter, Charles Macaulay & Richard Papen, Camilla Macaulay/Henry Winter, (One sided) Francis Abernathy/Camilla Macaulay, Charles Macaulay & Francis Abernathy Characters: Richard Papen, Francis Abernathy, Charles Macaulay, Camilla Macaulay, Henry Winter, Edmund "Bunny" Corcoran (briefly) Additional Tags: Genderbending, Rule 63, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, POV Alternating, Attempted Sexual Assault, Female Richard Papen, Female Francis Abernathy, Charles gets pretty awful, Frances and Camilla have that slightly toxic really intense friendship, where Frances is in love with her but they’re really ambiguous about it, If you’re lesbian you probably know what I’m on about, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Forced Marriage Summary:

‘Sweet mother, I cannot weave – slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl-’

Charles dropped his pen and let out a groan and rolled his eyes, ‘Christ someone stop her, she’s quoting Sappho again.’

Or: In which Frances is a lesbian and Rachel is… definitely straight and not in love with her in the slightest; and how that little change may impact their stories and interactions with the rest of the group.

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Francis: Then the way things suddenly changed for all of us... none of us could have foreseen it.

Richard: It, what's it?

Charles: Well Bunny’s death ––

Richard: NO! Not everything that is WRONG with you people, can be explained away by Bunny’s death!

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Richard explaining Henry’s mushroom plan:

Francis: Well. We’re all going to jail.

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Speaking of genderbending and distracting myself, here's a poll specifically for those of you who also, at least in some cases, like cis male canon characters being genderbent to women in a fandom context:

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i feel like we're not talking enough about how absolutely bonkers it is that over the span of the next three or so months, we'll see Timothee Chalamet as the star of both Wonka and Dune Part II

like, in one movie, he's a young man with a great and terrible destiny ahead of him, gaining the respect and admiration of an oppressed people to rise to a position of unimaginable religious power and authority, which he then uses to exert unilateral control over a psychoactive substance so powerful that society has no choice but to bow to his will as he steps into a messianic identity that reshapes the world in his name

and in the other he's Paul Atreides

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Rachel Papen Aesthetic

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Some call it murder. Others, a public service.

- The Greek Class after killing Bunny Corcoran

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Richard deciding to get involved with the Bunny murder: i didn’t have a lot of friends and book clubs are the worst, so i just thought, you know. could be something fun.

Charles: you’re becoming a criminal because you were lonely?

Richard: who doesn’t sometimes, right?